Darkfail

That's an affirmative.
Ok I did,but he can never die unless he's hit by light energy.
Darkfail. Through and through, no matter how you change it. I'm not even going to bother giving advice. It's hopeless.

Quote (Truth)

.Darkholme: And that Darkfall thing.
Darkholme: I could write a few sentences and be better than anything he has created.
Hiko: XD
Darkholme: Hell... I'd make Pokemon ride Gundams in a One Piece universe while battling Saiyans.
Darkholme: And I'd still win.
Daisy: ...
Daisy: Nice
PaladinGC: XD
Darkholme: The Saiyans have Bankai abilities.
Darkholme: And ninjutsu.

Yes...
Come on!
BAN-KAI!?!!?
I know I've already bashed his reg thread and story, and I might do it again, but I'm not gonna.
Never Mind.
STOP THIS! WE MUST NURUTRE THE NOOB HOOD I THINK POSSIBLY WITH A MAYBE ON TOP.

take the advice.
Don't make me write another one....
Is that a threat or a plea?

If you wanna make another one, go ahead. Keep in mind our advice, and you'll be fine.

... Perhaps.
Ok you asked for it!

Salieo Thinking):A solo life....I wonder if it'll be better...
Lucario:Whatcha thinkin' about best friend?
Salieo:Nothing,nothing.
Darkrai:Aw c'mon it HAD to be something!
Salieo:It's perfectly fine.
May:Are you guys,hungry?
All:Yeah.
May K!
Salieo:So generous.
Darkrai:She's YOUR fiancee.
Salieo:I know.I don't know if I'm ready for the wedding or not.With Lucario glowing and sparking every 3 seconds,It's hard.
Lucario:I do not*Glows and sparks*
Giratina:*Coughs*You said he's growing more powerful as we speak.
Lucario:I feel ready to take on the world!
Salieo:It seems your world is in complete chaos!Johoto has sunk into the sea,and Sinnoh is showing weird signs of collapse.
Giratina:Ever since Sic Garthen came back,everything weird's been up.
Salieo:Are you sure its not the fact that altogether,you guys have SIX DAMN KIDS?!
Darkrai:Shhh...you'll wake them up!
Lucario:I know.
Giratina h shit...here i comes!*Floor falls through and Salieo comes crashing down*
Salieo:I can't feel my legs!
Lucario:Here they are!
Salieo:*Regenerates legs*Giratina....you're going down!
Giratina:Sorry....
May h my god,are you hurt?
Salieo:At least the babies---
*Babies crying*
Lucario amn you,Female pokemon!
Salieo:*Climbs on Giratina*Are you ok?
Giratina:Yeah..fine dandy.
Salieo:Then why not have,a piece of candy?
Darkrai:It's ok,It's ok...Shhh...daddy's here to make it all better.
Lucario:Maybe they're crying because you're a Darktype.
Darkrai:SHUT UP!
Lucario:*Sniffs*You smell that?That smells good.Salieo do you--Salieo was just right here!
Giratina:That's not the only thing smelling good.Look.
Salieo:*Kissing may while helping her cook*
Darkrai o you guys ALWAYS have to kiss and or have sex?
May:He's cute.So?
Salieo:You're just jealous because you lack the ability to jump high.
May:Yeah,jealous.
Salieo:I still can't believe that Sic Garthen is alive...
May:I know.You want revenge so bad...
Salieo:But first,i'll have to defeat Asento before you fight him.
May:Good luck with that.I heard Asento used to work with Amadeius until his desire for power went unheard of.
Salieo:Asento may be powerful,but that machine he has....incredible!
May:It has the ability to change anyone into a cat pokemon or a cat human.
Salieo:Well,Asento is a genius.
Darkrai:You wish,I've seen him in action before.His attacks are devestating!He took out Amamdeius before he could attack!
Lucario:But not before Colonel Unuroh and Keikume took him out!
Salieo:Unuroh used to serve alongside my father when he WAS living.
May:You said your race was old time...was there much fighting?
Salieo:I was taught the dancing martial arts,physical and magical arts to.
May:So basically,an expert dancer such as Suin Ura wouldn't stand a chance against you?
Salieo:Yeah....*Reaches in fride and grabs beer*You have beer and you're just 16?
May:So?It's my parents.Who will be back soon.
Darkrai:I took care of them.*Leans on stove*Oh shit,that's hot!
May:Idiot.Salieo,you want your eggs scrambled?
Salieo:Scrambled eggs....I don't like eggs.
May k then.Breakfeast is served.
Salieo:What about Max?Is he still asleep?
Darkrai:Sir,yes,sir!I'm on it sir!
Salieo:Now that's a solider for you.Never disobeys an order.
Lucario:At least the babies quieted down.
Salieo:I know what you mean!
Lucario:At least THATS Done.
*Max Screams*
Darkrai:Yes!It works!
Giratina:Next time use the chainsaw tactic!
Salieo:He's never met me before.Is he nice?
May:Sometimes...sometimes not.
Giratina:I'll eat his soul!
Salieo:Those babies are so cute....I'll be right back!*Jumps out window*Oops.*Repairs it and runs to Cliff End*
May:Where'd he go?
Lucario:He meditates.
May h really?
Salieo:*listening to the wind*
May:Salieo?Are you ok?
Salieo:I've been thinking....
May:About what?
Salieo:I've decided.I should leave the team.
May:What are you talking about?
Salieo:It's been swell...But I must depart.One Dragon...one purpose.
May:*Sniffling*Good luck.*Kisses him*I'll miss you...Boyfriend.
Salieo:I will too.*Jumps off*

;>>

I said follow the advice.

In fact, you said you would too. I see nothing in the way of improvement here.

Also...

Quote ()

Darkrai o you guys ALWAYS have to kiss and or have sex?


Lulz.
Let me give you a tip. How do you read a book? With colons everywhere you look? Colons for talking, and one strip straight down the page full of colons with names behind them? If so, can you show me this book so I can burn the author to death? Fanfics are suppose to be BOOK-LIKE. Not... Chatroom-like.. That would be some sort of deformed novel made by demons from a realm where instead of entertaining the reader, they want to torture you. See, a fanfic is like a book. You're making it like your selling it. Except this time, you are trying to impress us. Would people buy a book full of colons, misplaced puncuation and spelling mistakes?

Not me.
Writing art!The world without Salieo!

Salieo:*Throws Dark energy ball torwards the earth*
Dawn:Come on,let's go!
Salieo:I'm not leaving.*Sacrifices Immortality energy to the others*Save yourselves.
Dawn:Salieo....are you...
Salieo:Killing the both of us.
Dawn:I won't let you.*Runs torward him*
Salieo:Forgive me.*Knocks her out*
Lucario:She was just trying to help you!
Salieo:There's nothing you can do now!
Giratina:It's been a pleasure working with you.
Salieo:You too.Now go.
Sic:You may kill us...but I will still live on!
Salieo:Goodbye....friends.*Closes eyes*
*Ball hits earth and destroys the both of them*
*Smoke and steam clears*
Lucario:*Tears drop from eyes*He's....gone.
Darkrai:He's dead.
Dawn:*Wakes up*Salieo!*Runs to pile to find the only thing remaining of him,the Sword Of Shadows*You're gone....I can't believe it...3 days before our wedding.*Cries loudly*
Giratina: Dawn....don't be upset.
Dawn:*Holds Lucario*My boyfriend....dead!
Giratina:At least he lived long enough to be given a Gaurdian title...
Dawn:What?
Lucario:Salieo...The Gaurdian of Humans!
Dawn:*Still crying*Let's go...*Sniffles*
Darkrai:*Screams*WHY?!
Giratina:Get over it...He's dead.For the good of the world,he's dead.
Dawn:*Sniffling*


....without Salieo,danger rose exponentionally,thus rendering the world helpless
... Lolwut?
your 10X the failure i am darkrai. yes. your THAT much fail in a single person.
Salieo Thinking):A solo life....I wonder if it'll be better...
Lucario:Whatcha thinkin' about best friend?
Salieo:Nothing,nothing.
Darkrai:Aw c'mon it HAD to be something!
Salieo:It's perfectly fine.
May:Are you guys,hungry?
All:Yeah.
May K!
Salieo:So generous.
Darkrai:She's YOUR fiancee.
Salieo:I know.I don't know if I'm ready for the wedding or not.With Lucario glowing and sparking every 3 seconds,It's hard.
Lucario:I do not*Glows and sparks*
Giratina:*Coughs*You said he's growing more powerful as we speak.
Lucario:I feel ready to take on the world!
Salieo:It seems your world is in complete chaos!Johoto has sunk into the sea,and Sinnoh is showing weird signs of collapse.
Giratina:Ever since Sic Garthen came back,everything weird's been up.
Salieo:Are you sure its not the fact that altogether,you guys have SIX DAMN KIDS?!
Darkrai:Shhh...you'll wake them up!
Lucario:I know.
Giratina:Oh crap...here i come!*Floor falls through and Salieo comes crashing down*
Salieo:I can't feel my legs!
Lucario:Here they are!
Salieo:*Regenerates legs*Giratina....you're going down!
Giratina:Sorry....
May: oh my god,are you hurt?
Salieo:At least the babies---
*Babies crying*
Lucario: Damn you,Female pokemon!
Salieo:*Climbs on Giratina*Are you ok?
Giratina:Yeah..fine dandy.
Salieo:Then why not have,a piece of candy?
Darkrai:It's ok,It's ok...Shhh...daddy's here to make it all better.
Lucario:Maybe they're crying because you're a Darktype.
Darkrai:SHUT UP!
Lucario:*Sniffs*You smell that?That smells good.Salieo do you--Salieo was just right here!
Giratina:That's not the only thing smelling good.Look.
Salieo:*Kissing may while helping her cook*
Darkrai: oh, you guys ALWAYS have to kiss and or have sex?
May:He's cute.So?
Salieo:You're just jealous because you lack the ability to jump high.
May:Yeah,jealous.
Salieo:I still can't believe that Sic Garthen is alive...
May:I know.You want revenge so bad...
Salieo:But first,i'll have to defeat Asento before you fight him.
May:Good luck with that.I heard Asento used to work with Amadeius until his desire for power went unheard of.
Salieo:Asento may be powerful,but that machine he has....incredible!
May:It has the ability to change anyone into a cat pokemon or a cat human.
Salieo:Well,Asento is a genius.
Darkrai:You wish,I've seen him in action before.His attacks are devestating!He took out Amamdeius before he could attack!
Lucario:But not before Colonel Unuroh and Keikume took him out!
Salieo:Unuroh used to serve alongside my father when he WAS living.
May:You said your race was old time...was there much fighting?
Salieo:I was taught the dancing martial arts,physical and magical arts to.
May:So basically,an expert dancer such as Suin Ura wouldn't stand a chance against you?
Salieo:Yeah....*Reaches in fridge and grabs beer*You have beer and you're just 16?
May:So?It's my parents.Who will be back soon.
Darkrai:I took care of them.*Leans on stove*Oh shit,that's hot!
May:Idiot.Salieo,you want your eggs scrambled?
Salieo:Scrambled eggs....I don't like eggs.
May: ok then.Breakfeast is served.
Salieo:What about Max?Is he still asleep?
Darkrai:Sir,yes,sir!I'm on it sir!
Salieo:Now that's a solider for you.Never disobeys an order.
Lucario:At least the babies quieted down.
Salieo:I know what you mean!
Lucario:At least THATS Done.
*Max Screams*
Darkrai:Yes!It works!
Giratina:Next time use the chainsaw tactic!
Salieo:He's never met me before.Is he nice?
May:Sometimes...sometimes not.
Giratina:I'll eat his soul!
Salieo:Those babies are so cute....I'll be right back!*Jumps out window*Oops.*Repairs it and runs to Cliff End*
May:Where'd he go?
Lucario:He meditates.
May: oh really?
Salieo:*listening to the wind*
May:Salieo?Are you ok?
Salieo:I've been thinking....
May:About what?
Salieo:I've decided.I should leave the team.
May:What are you talking about?
Salieo:It's been swell...But I must depart.One Dragon...one purpose.
May:*Sniffling*Good luck.*Kisses him*I'll miss you...Boyfriend.
Salieo:I will too.*Jumps off*


to be continued....
Read this. It's the start of my latest fanfic. Read how fanfics look. Learn how to write. Please! Reading your current work causes me pain!
... Um, lawl.
That's how I write mine,Dear Zolem.