Operation T4C: Ask a Fundie!

-crackle-J... Jean...-crackle-

...

-screech-

Hello? Hello? Jean? Am I getting through? It's me, Atrus. If you're getting this message it means I'm still alive. I can't stay long, though-- I have to stay quiet and even connecting with this thing is a risk. I promise, I'll hug you tight when I get home. And I will get home. This is what a spy does, Jean. He spies. He risks his life. He goes where no one else can.

I still have your picture, Jean. I love you. Remember me, and tell little Jimmy I love him. I have to go now. God only knows the bugs and trackers they might have in this place. If they hear this transmission, they'll find me and kill me, but I will have died knowing that I was doing a great service for this country.

I love you. Wish me luck.

-click-

Phase 1a. Insertion: CONFIRMED.
Phase 2. Reconnisance: FAILED.

LIVE FEED:
05.03.20.47.21


05.03.20.59.08


05.03.21.03.20
Mere minutes into the operation, I stumbled across what looked like the R&D wing of the installment. The main bay is nearly empty, with most modules (such as signatures and avatars) nonfunctional except for (or so I assume) those with higher clearance, but they seem to be working on some kind of weapon. No further information can be discerned, as the weapon is skeletal at best, with no immediately apparent function whatsoever.


05.03.21.23.39
The overlord of the installation has implemented a fiendish security system whereby only those with validated identification cards are allowed access to anything but the observatories. This presents quite a problem. My entire existence here must be a lie, or all will be lost.

05.04.21.53.00
By now, the letter may have reached you. One of those oh-so-sad, sympathetic letters with my name in it like a sick mad libs page. A gunshot on a page covered with black, stencilled blood. Supposedly, I've left this earth, physically, mentally, you name it. And perhaps, on some level I have. But know this, Jean. They can't kill me. They can kill me, but I'll come back. And I'll come back to you, once the gash in my heart has been filled with answers. Wait for me, love.

Godspeed.

A large step for humanity.

Unbelievable! Good luck sir. Keep us updated.

Jesus! Who the hell authorized this?! We're sending individual field agents into the jaws of Hell! What is the matter with you people?! We need a full assault team going in there with him! He may never come out of that cesspool ever again!

Awright, you, you and you, give this guy whatever he asks for. We're going to get him in and out of this pit in one piece, dammit!

If I think it's the right way...

THIS! IS! EP-IC!

My dear Miss Ninja,

An assault team? Too easy to counter. A squadron would be far too easy to detect. Where all of the previous teams had failed, one man remains.

One man to succeed.

One man, who walks a path neither light nor dark.

One man.

Mr. S.

But... Kazu... Why did you decide to join? XD
Espionage? :0

...Also...
"I need a gun."
"I'll be back, baby..."
"You have no power over me."

Warning: Profanity. A lot.

RELIGIOUS RIGHT CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN MALE WHITE SUPREMACIST COCK SUCKING CUNTBAG MOTHERFUCKER PIECE OF CHRISTIAN SHIT.

My account is gone. I don't know why.

This means war. Expect an update soon.

...I am a very confused moogle right now >_<!!!

WHAT'S GOING ON!!

So...did you let something slip...or was there no reason for it?

Quote (Kazuhiro)

RELIGIOUS RIGHT CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN MALE WHITE MARTHAFOKKER PIECE OF CHRISTIAN SHIT.

Hey now... I'd be offended, as that applies to me... but I'm too awesome to be offended. And my hair tells me to not be offended, because it too is awesome.

There was nothing. I was deleted before he validated my account.

Worst part is, the man I've got to get past is Bro. Randy. I had some hope, thinking ImaSaved1 would be easier to work with, but no, we have the Baptist shithead himself to deal with.

I'm not sure what I did wrong. Here are the possibilities:

-My registered username was Kazuhiro. Randy doesn't know Japanese where he sees it and deleted me for using a fantasy name which is obviously demonic.

-My registered username was Kazuhiro. Randy knows a Japanese name when he sees it and knows that all Japanese are Buddhist, and therefore obviously Satanist.

-My registered username was Kazuhiro. Randy knows a Japanese name when he sees it and knows that all Japanese are geeks who play games, and therefore obviously Satanist.

-My registered username was Kazuhiro. Randy knows a Japanese name when he sees it and doesn't want any damn dirty japs on his site.

-My email address was provided for me by my school, which has a Hawaiian name. Randy doesn't recognize it and figures that it's fake, demonic, or both.

-The only topics I read were the ones about the rules and one written by a member, to the trolls, saying "I'm praying for you."

-Bro. Randy may require me to actually contact him personally before I sign up. This is probably the easiest problem to solve, if it is indeed the solution.

The sad part is that I have no intent of doing anything evil. The entire point of my existence on this thread is to get some long-standing questions answered (What's wrong with Catholics?) To see how far I can push it (Some kids at my school are assuring me that D&D isn't satanic...) And, honestly, to feed my ego. Besides, it's fun.

Though, if I feel that I'm getting close to the line and my account is in danger... I'll bow out with a shittingdicknipples or something equally epic.

EDIT: Nevermind. I overlooked the last part of what you said. (The ego part.) :lol:

The point here is to feed Kazu's ego, really. Someone posted this site a while ago, and it was quickly the target of a lot of criticism and ridicule. Mostly it was all just cynicism. I had considered doing this, so of course I had to do it in grand form.

Besides, I would love to interact with these people. It's just a fun idea.

So, you got booted Atrus? ^^ Let me help you with my mysterious superior knowledge.

Bro. Randy and ImaSaved1 is the same person. When asked about this, he said that he had his own reasons.

As for the rules of getting on, it works like this:

1. You join, but is added to a wait list.
2. A moderator checks that you are safe, and approves you as a newbie.
3. While a newbie, you can only post in a newbie board, proving your worth.
3a. A moderator approves you a member personally.
3b. You get a X amounts of post without a warning. They warn about EVERYTHING.
4. You are now a member. Should you slip within any rules, you will be put back to the first waiting list. Should you become a newbie/member again, and do another slip, you are permanently banned.
5. Should the Lord Jesus speak favorable about you to an admin, you could become a moderator. (sad but true >>)

Now, you are problaby wondering why you were booted. I, the mysterious Drakim know why. You broke this rule:

Quote ()

4. Participation on this forum (posting) is a privilege and may be revoked at any time. Your account may be suspended or deleted at any time for any reason or for no reason at all.

Why he got caught: Here

They actually look at that crap?

Apparently so.

I'm going to skip the useless pondering as to how you got your info; you're Drakim, you probably bent the internets themselves to get the info you wanted.

That really sucks... And now that they've probably got your IP on file, you can't make another attempt without something that'll change it drastically...

Man, this guy's a nut (an egotistical nut, too; of course Jesus would speak to him on a regular basis regarding prospective moderators. After all, he's just that important,) but he certainly knows what he's doing. Heaven knows you have to carefully safeguard your egobox so no one can spoonfeed opinions but you.