You're a greedy one, aren't you?

[Attached: Machinegun1 x1]

[1250 zenny submitted to the OBS pot. See stock topic.]

I have reason to want your PhoenixShot1. I see that you want a MachineGun1. I propose a trade. I will add five hundred zenny to my contribution.

Hey, what's that thi----OH. OH SHIT. IT'S SHINY! GIMME THAT THING! YEAH!!

[Attached: Machinegun1, 500 zenny]

Wait, what? We're sellin' it? I like that thing! It kills crap! Screw off, mook you can't have it!

Your payment will be accepted.

[Attached: Elecreel1 x1]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

Shit! She was last off the mark again! If it kept up like this, these two losers were going to make a fool out of her.

"CHIPS!" Beatnik screamed up the pipe. She wasn't sure if Toni had the sound on or not, but either way, the chips came down. Beatnik skimmed what she'd got and dropped them into a battle order in her head. She was more than a little proud of herself. The plan was actually smart for once.

First, she slammed down a scarecrow on her left. She knew what would come next: a blast of electricity straight down the battlefield. That was just a distraction, though. The threat of the lightning would shove the viruses over into a clump on one side of the platform, where they turned into easy pickings. Before the Dollthunder could spit out its lightning, though, Beatnik was going to have to get up in their faces to maximize the damage.

And that meant skating right over lava.

Shit, she was losing valuable seconds as the Dollthunder's mouth stretched open. Come on, it was just a little lava, what was it going to do? She could fly, for crap's sake. Beatnik adopted a speed-skater's crouch, eyeing the bubbling lava nervously. I really hope this doesn't burn my feet right off.

Lightning crackled in the scarecrow's mouth. Time was up. She had to go.

With a furious scream that came right from her gut, Beatnik kicked off into the lava.

Except nothing caught fire.

Because Holo had just changed it into ice.

Instead, she skittered wildly to one side, surprised by the sudden change in terrain. She got herself back under control and tilted a bit to line herself right up with the viruses on the other platform. A bolt of lightning ripped by on her left, just singing her neon green hair. She snapped her fingers, and her orbital plates formed up into a wedge.

And then it was drive-by chaos.

Beatnik crashed into the line of viruses and then wheeled and slid around on the ice like a moron and crashed into them again, swinging her plate-wedge around like a cow-catcher. On her fifth and final pass, she flung out a hand behind her and fired off a trio of sonic rings. they plunged right into the heart of the viruses, and the resulting explosion would mess them right up. She skidded to a halt and pulled up an Elecreel in the shape of a sky-blue gauntlet that buzzed with electrical charge. Beatnik eyed the wreckage of the platform, just daring one of the viruses to stick their stupid heads out so she could sock it up its ass.

1. Dollthunder1 @ Puffy-F A and whoever else is in range (80 + 5 = 85 ELEC dmg
+ Line Attack 5)
2. DashAttack @ Puffy-F A, Puffy-F B, Drixol B, Drixol A, Catack B (90 NORMAL dmg + Impact)
3. Pulsar1 @ Catack B (70 + 15 Flamenco Overdrive = 85 NORMAL dmg + Spread 6)
4. ElecReel1 @ remaining (80 + 5 same-element = 85 ELEC dmg + Spread 3)

As Wolfman charged him, Stakeman casually reached inside his cloak and tugged free a golden cross. With a jerk, the chain snapped, and Stakeman thrust the cross out at arm's length. It began to expand until it was so large that he could no longer hold it. The demon-hunter let go, but instead of dropping to the ground, the giant cross settled into a float in front of him.

Wolfman lunged at Stakeman, jaws wide, but he crashed into the cross instead. "You won't be turning me tonight, demon," Stakeman told him with a thin smile.

The werewolf swung one flaming paw toward Stakeman, but the cross swept around through the air, heading off the attack. The force of the strike sent cracks tearing through its golden face, though, and the pieces tumbled to the pavement. Stakeman was defenseless against the second Firehit. It tore through the side of his cloak and left a scorch mark twice as big.

Stakeman hopped back out of Wolfman's reach and fumbled around inside his cloak. Out came a little vial full of some glittering silver liquid. He flicked out the stopper with his thumb and downed it in one gulp. He tossed the empty vial toward Wolfman's face, but it was only a distraction as he raised his clockwork gun. Wolfman's bestial reflexes were sharp enough to guide him out of the path of the bullet as Stakeman fired it.

Terrain: 60% Normal, 25% Soil, 15% Mud

Stakeman.EXE: 170 HP (Normal)

WolfMan.EXE: 120 HP (Normal)
Selene.SP: 40 HP (Soil)

Beatnik snorted. "Lamers. This the best they got around here?"

She turned hard and scooped up the chip data on a skate-by. Once it had resolved in her system, she cursed and hurled it up the chute to Toni's PET. Figures she'd get the crappy-ass time bomb. All it'd be good for was for bashing viruses' heads in, because by the time it actually got around to exploding, she'd have already deleted everything herself.

"On ahead? Hey, you get back here!"

Beatnik put her head down and kicked off like an Olympic skater. No way in hell she was going to let someone else get ahead of her. If the hologram guy couldn't keep up, that was his fault.

[go go battle 2]

Beatnik realized with a start that Arc had gone before her.

"Hey!" she yelled indignantly. "Hey hey hey hey!" But it occurred to her that this was only serving to put her further behind, so she decided to see if she could blow up more shit than Arc had.

She snagged a few chips off the queue. Asking Toni for specific crap was out of the question, of course, because Toni was a lazy jackass who would rather write cruddy poetry than, you know, keep her Navi alive. She came up with a fistful of Zaprings.

"Move!" Beatnik yelled, clipping Arc as she blasted by. Those hands looked like decent enough punching bags. The first Handy got the first Zapring, which appeared as a circle of electricity in her hand. She discused it at the virus as she howled toward it. With the first shot away, she slammed down her foot, stopped practically on a dime, and flung the other Zapring toward the Handy's twin.

That left the third Handy. Beatnik had come here to show off and throw shit, and she'd run out of shit.

The chip waiting at the top of the queue would do just fine. Beatnik kicked off in a long loop around the third Handy as she waited for the chip to boot. The blue plates in her magnetic field jerked themselves down and locked into place around her arm. Within a second or two, they'd configured themselves into the shape of a giant blue metal fist. Beatnik wasn't too sure where the Handy's eyes were, because, uh, it was a hand, but when she hit a point in her orbit where she thought she was kind of out of its sightline, she dug in one foot and changed course to charge right at the virus.

She cranked her first back, sucked in a deep breath out of the air that was ripping past her, and slammed her knuckles down on the virus. Hand, meet fist.

Before the Gutpunch could go dissipating and unlocking the plates around her hand, Beatnik grabbed one more chip. The fisty-part of the blue arm collapsed, and a tiny core of plasma started charging inside. Beatnik skidded to a halt at the edge of the overlook, pointed her fist-cannon down at the Spikeys, and pulled the invisible trigger. The recoil pushed her all the way across the bridge and almost off the other side. A mushroom cloud rose from the Spikeys were. Or had been. Heh.

[1. Zapring2 @ HandyA {A acc} (80 + 5 same-element = 85 ELEC dmg)
2. Zapring2 @ HandyB {A acc} (80 + 5 same-element = 85 ELEC dmg)
3. Gutpunch @ HandyC {B acc} (70 + 15 Flamenco Overdrive = 85 NORMAL dmg)
4. Tankcannon1 [wide-bore] @ Spikeys A-C {C acc} (90 NORMAL dmg + Blast2)]

Wolfman cloaked himself in darkness just in time to save himself from Stakeman's opening salvo. His clockwork pistol barked once, and a silver bullet passed harmlessly through Wolfman's shadowy body.

"Damn!" hissed Stakeman. His green eyes darted from side to side, trying to pick Wolfman's form out from the other shadows that lay thick against the buildings. As a result, Wolfman's Tankcannon took him entirely by surprise.

The blast caught him full in the chest and spun him around. Through some nimble demon-hunting acrobatics, he managed to get himself righted in the air and landed on his feet in a half-crouch, facing the spot the attack had come from.

At least until Wolfman came charging toward him from another vector on silent feet. The movement in the darkness made Stakeman whip is head around. His hand went behind him to a scabbard that was strapped horizontally across the small of his back under his sleeved cloak. The Navi drew out what was little more than a wooden stake as long as his forearm. It was tipped and chased with silver.

Insteaad of diving to the side, Stakeman held his ground. Wolfman tore into him with his sword, but Stakeman met his opponent with an overhand stab of the stake, burying it between Wolfman's shoulders.

"Come on, now," Stakeman said as he took a step back. There was no hint of pain or duress in his voice. "Is that really the best you can do?"

Terrain: 60% Normal, 25% Soil, 15% Mud

Stakeman.EXE: 180 HP (Normal)

WolfMan.EXE: 105 HP (Normal)
Selene.SP: 40 HP (Soil)