My friends...

My friends. While it has been true that my 'return' to these glorious boards has been a ruse, engineered by the holiday that the internet so reveres, it is not the one you think that you are aware of. I am here now today to show you the truth that you were blind to these past years.

I began posting on this website early into my gaining internet access. I was young, inexperienced, and foolish. I fashioned myself as above others, for the anonymity that the internet provided induced within me a rush; something that made me feel as if I held power over others. What I felt in return was a sharpened blade of hate and contempt. You left me shattered and alone, I had nothing. Dejected, I left the forum.

But not for long.

You see, I had determined to make myself better than what I was. To prove to you all that I was superior, and to make every last one of you eat your petty ridicule that you had been so eager to dispense at me. I learned. I lurked around other forums to learn proper lingo, I took a summer course for creative writings and keyboarding skills. I hatched a plot, and a plan to return.

I came back only a few months after I had left, and already so much had changed. The first upheaval was over, the forum in shambles, many of those whom I had returned to seek justice on were already gone forever. I decided to bode my time, keep my identity a secret until the time was right. So I joined, registered a new set of characters, and participated in the events that unfolded.

I saw my chance towards the end of the Chaos Network. Already, the signs of the coming storm were ahead, and I seized the moment, and put your trust in me to the test, and after all of time spent becoming one of your own, I truly did so: I was offered a position in the staff.

Not long after this, the second upheaval began, and the Chaos Network was deleted. I now knew that I had protection forever, because my old account, which held any connection to my new identity, was erased. I worked hard, and doubled my resolve. I would show you ALL. I even joined in the laughter and joking on 'my' behalf, and made 'myself' the butt of many jokes. I continued to work hard, and yet again, your trust in me proved itself: I became an Official.

Having the wonders of the Admin CP before me, I was tempted, deep down, to end it there. To force you away as I had been forced. To violently destroy what you sought to expel me from. But, in the time that I had used to gain this position, I knew that I could never do that. I had grown too fond of this place. I altered my goals, improved my standing, and continued onwards.

My new goal was to show each and every member of this forum what I was, and what I had become. To show you that the one you insulted and mocked was now the one you revered. But not just yet. I still needed time to make you all feel the true humility. I had waited for nearly two years, I could wait for a while longer. And so I did.

I waited until opportunity presented itself to me once more, and I achieved what you would have thought to be impossible: I became one of the mighty Administrator Triumvirate. Now I had all that I needed, save the proper time.

So, I 'returned' on the day you would feel it to be a joke. I behaved as best as I could from back in those times 'before the war.' You all played along perfectly, and now, you will know the truth. Irony strikes a hard chord, indeed. The one who was Lieutenant Abyss had become one that everyone held in high regard, know that you put him up on this pedestal, and now he stands ever vigilant over you all. Irony is indeed here today, for BASS/LT.ABYSS became...
No, no, NO! That- that can't be true! This- this is an April Fools' joke, right?



I doubt it. Although, I AM laughing.

You never wonder why Porter never tried to come back? I was already here.
I'll just keep telling myself that this is your way of unveiling the identity of the one who did that april fools' joke.
It was an April fools joke, but just not how you were expecting. It was a joke that was nearly two and a half years in the making.

I must say, it IS hilarious.
Just like Steve, I have to admit something... I was the one who made Pantsuman.


What do you mean everyone knows already?

Anyway... I take my imaginary hat off for this brilliant piece of epic.
Dude, this is the most epic tale I have ever heard. PORTER, YOU WIN.

Never thought I'd say that.

(lol, you would win)
Dude, this is a MOMENTOUS announcement.
So, having been there firsthand, did I do your story justice in the Random Outtakes?
Well, obviously apart from the not getting any more skill. Because, well, you're SpaceMonkeySteve.
Anyways, dude, this is epic. It's after April Fools Day. IT CAN'T BE A JOKE.
*falls over and has a seizure while foaming up at the god damn mouth* God DAMN you had me fooled man.

>: D

Epic win at it's finest. Pulled off with bravado and style.

Epic-o-Meter: 8.371/10

You are now my god damn Hero.
Meh, I'm still better than you.
-feels accomplished-
Hah. Never made fun of you, now did I?
I never even knew who you were.

EDIT: This NEEDS to be added to the RE:RN history topic.
It's vital.

DOUBLEEDIT: Remember the two members that came here a little while ago?
It was something like 'cooler than you' and 'king of awesome'.
Zero + Me.
Though it'd be appropriate for this thread.
Wow.... I would've never guessed that the ORIGINAL Sgt. Porter was really SMS, one of the Admins... wow....
I figure I'll release this information: I am actually GLucion, Mirandarae and Mezzanotte.
Really? Us trolling you guys and not getting caught stunned no one?
Since Hiko wants attention, should we warn him and ZS for trolling?
I thought this over before I revealed this.
If I get warned for this, thinks oi, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with this forum.
Because this happened two months ago.
Even if, warn me, not ZS. -_-;;
Meh, I was joking...Though Eon might take it and run with it.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand......I'm confused.