Looking for Dubloons

DubloonMan took his first steps into the SciLab network and wobbled about as he tried to balance on his cannon leg.

"Yar! Me sea legs ache for th'oceans! This land be as dry as a camel's bone!" DubloonMan complained.

"This is only the starting point, we can probably head to Yoka Net if we take that right path." Roger answered. He wasn't used to operating a navi yet and thought that the wobbling was his fault.

"Yoka? Be that landlubber talk o' the sea?"

"I don't know if we have 'seas' online, but there should definitely be more water there."

"HAR HA-HAR!" DubloonMan laughed heartily, "Let's get to it then ye salty dog!"

((Battle 1))
A shot came from a distance and crashed near DubloonMan, who grimaced and stood steadfast as he turned his grim visage toward the source.

In his way were two Canondumb viruses apparently being operated on by a Billy in a... labcoat? The turrets immediately took notice of DubloonMan's closeness and fired at him again, except that they still missed. This seemed to make the Billy extremely irritated as it tried working with something at the base of the Canondumbs to make them fire properly.

Did that thing seriously have spectacles on its face?

CanoDumbA: 50 HP
Dr. Billy: 50 HP
CanoDumbB: 50 HP

100% Normal

DubloonMan.EXE: 150 HP

"BLOW ME DOWN!" DubloonMan called out, "Thar be bilge rats about!"

Viruses. Roger was aware of their threat but didn't think he would encounter them so soon after jacking in. He squinted at the screen and identified them as a pair of CanoDumbs and a strange looking Billy. He looked at the battlechips that came with the PET and knew what he had to do.

"DubloonMan!" He called out to his navi.


"Get ready to engage the enemy. I'm slotting in a Shotgun." Roger said, picking up one of the chips.

"Ya har!" DubloonMan exclaimed with a raised fist, "Let's take it to these scallywags!"

Roger slid the small plastic card into the reader slot, expecting DubloonMan's arm to change into a weapon as with most navis he had seen. Instead, his navi reached into the recesses of his coat and pulled out an ancient looking firearm that Roger immediately recognized - a blunderbuss.

"Taste a double helping of me fine lass, Betty!" Dubloonman mocked before pulling the trigger and recoiling from the resultant blast. A spread of buckshot and black smoke exploded from the weapon, laying waste to the area around the point of impact. It was much more destructive than Roger had imagined it would and his navi was exceeding his expectations at every turn.

That wasn't enough for DubloonMan though as he hobbled his way towards the small group with nothing but his anchor in hand laughing maniacally, "YAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!"

"Wait! I haven't slotted anything else in yet!" Roger said.

His navi was lost in the thrill of battle, gripping the chain on his anchor and spinning it viciously around his head. The heavy anchor weaved through the air, bashing away anything unlucky enough to be caught in the swathes of his attack. It dawned on Roger that his navi had been carrying this around the entire time without problem as a testament to his strength. If it was even half as heavy as it looked, it might even be more powerful than the rest of his chips. Finally, after a few more cycles, DubloonMan released his grip on the heavy anchor and let it fly straight into the other Canodumb. It landed with a heavy crash that shook the visuals on the PET screen.

"Give Davey Jones me regards..." The navi scoffed.

1 - Shotgun CanoDumbA (50 damage + Spead 2)
2 - Move closer
3 - Anchors Aweigh! (self-slow, nova2 10 damage + knockback) + CanoDumbB (40 damage)
The Billy shot up as the Shotgun blast headed its way and scurried behind the second CanoDumb as the first was deleted in an instant. Waving its stingers angrily, the Billy tried scolding DubloonMan before an anchor whacked and slammed into the other CanoDumb, which disappeared entirely.

Sweating, the Billy scampered around in fright. Now what?

Dr. Billy: 50 HP (Behind CanoDumbB)

100% Normal

DubloonMan.EXE: 150 HP
Dubloonman shrugged off the CanoDumb shot like it was nothing before breaking into a roar of laughter. After all, what good was a fight if the enemy didn't fight back? It was just a matter of time before he squelched what little resistance remained and he wanted to revel in the Billy's fear and desperation.

"YE MUTINOUS DOG!" DubloonMan called out, waving his hook like a fist, "KNOW YER PLACE BENEATH MY BOOT!"

Roger was enjoying the fight almost as much as his navi was and added, "I'm slotting in a Cannon next!"


The second chip punched through the PET, prompting DubloonMan to raise his prosthetic leg in response. He hopped about as he tried to aim the end of his cannon at the Billy while simultaneously maintaining his balance. The end of the black iron barrel erupted in a puff of soot as the Cannon discharged, knocking DubloonMan off of his good foot. As the navi fell on his backside, he pulled out a flintlock pistol from his coat and unloaded two more rounds upon the virus.

"Arrr... Me arse has seen better days..." groaned DubloonMan.

1 - Cannon Dr. Billy (40 damage + Knockback)
2 - Buster Dr. Billy (8 damage)
3 - Buster Dr. Billy (8 damage)
A shot from the leg instantly startled the Billy, as the force of the Cannon blast knocked it high up in the air while DubloonMan finished it off with two quick shots.

So ended the tale of the little Billy who couldn't.

Dr. Billy: DELETED

100% Normal

DubloonMan.EXE: 150 HP

Get: 240z, Cannon
"Resumin' course fer Yoka..."

"I think they might've dropped some ze- umm... 'Booty' there, captain." Roger pointed out, correcting himself mid-sentence.

Dubloonman's head snapped back and his eye widened before proudly trotting back to the small pile of money, "YAR HA-HAR! THA SPOILS A'WAR BE RIPE FER PLUNDERIN', SAYS I!"

As he ran his fingers through the zenny and relished in his rewards, he chuckled, "Har har har... Roger, a mahn like me has but two loves in his life: the rollin' horizons of an endless sea and the glint of a fine cache a' dubloons."

"What about fighting?" Roger asked jokingly.

"YAR! She be but a mistress to me. A one-night stand as t'were. Tell not the sea nor me gold of fightin'." quipped DubloonMan.

"Hahahaha... Okay, sure." Roger laughed.

His navi squinted at him with his eye, "...I be holdin' ye to yer word."

Roger wasn't really sure how to reply to that or if his navi was serious. Meanwhile, DubloonMan had produced a large, empty treasure chest from somewhere and was filling it up with his newfound riches. After the last coin was dropped into the box, it disappeared, leaving DubloonMan to continue his journey.

((Battle 2))
Moving further into the SciLab network to find more viruses to execute and ransack, DubloonMan happened upon a path through the network, and decided on the spot to follow it. It led him to a duo of Boomers led in a most leader-like way by a yellow sword-wielding Swordy. The Swordy pointed its weapon at DubloonMan in a challenge, and roared as it charged towards the Navi.

Swordy-E: 80 HP (Solar)
Boomer A: 60 HP (Solar)
Boomer B: 60 HP (Solar)

-- D'BLOONS --
DubloonMan.EXE: 150 HP (Solar)

50% Solar (Pathway)
50% Glass (Edges of pathway)

"Avast!" Dubloonman exclaimed, stopping in his tracks, "What manner of foe be ye?"

Roger scanned over the PET, unsure of what they were up against either. All he could tell were their names and health values, but that wasn't much to go on. His navi, however, was focussed on something else. The Swordy's challenge stirred up something inside of DubloonMan that refused to be ignored.

"ROGER!" said DubloonMan with a hard glare in his eye, "Hand me me sword..."

Roger looked through the mess that had spilled out of the PET box and replied, "Umm... I-I don't have a Sword. It didn't come with the package."

"NO SWORD!?" DubloonMan snapped angrily, "WHY YE MIGHT AS WELL BE WALKIN' DA PLANK IF'N YE HAD NO SWORD TO YER NAME! YARRRRRRRRRR!! Why I'd trade me other leg fer a cutlass..."

Trying to redeem himself, Roger was quick to add, "There's a Rageclaw though!"

"Yarrr, Rageclaw say ye?" His navi repeated.

"Yeah, I'll slot that in." Roger said.

There was no visual change to DubloonMan but nevertheless, he raised his hook in triumph, giving it a light shake and laughed, "YAR HA-HAR! Me hook be fulla piss n' vinegar! I'll be sendin' the lotta ye to an early grave yet!"

Charging down the shining path before him, DubloonMan raked his hook wildly through the air in front of him.


Roger bore witness to his navi's brutality, whispering small cheering noises and wincing along with his navi's failures as if he was right there fighting with him. This was worth every zenny he had spent and he knew he would probably be spending more to buy some chips in the near future. He would definitely need to find a Sword chip soon.

Another sweep of DubloonMan's arm gouged a wide horizontal gash through the air. He was locked in fierce melee combat with the Swordy but kept a partial vigil on the other viruses for good measure. They had not yet drawn his ire and if they were smart, they'd let him finish this battle before interrupting.

1 - Rageclaw Swordy-E (40 damage)
2 - Rageclaw Swordy-E (40 damage)
3 - Dodge
Meeting the Swordy's challenge with his own RageHook(tm), DubloonMan set to carving up the blade-wielder in a frenzy. The electrically-aligned knight got in a hit through the pirate Navi's flurry of blows, not that it mattered much. (20) The Boomers launched their boomerangs at him, but both missed. Their weapons took a while in returning, though, and it seemed like a short window of time left the viruses exposed!

Boomer A: 60 HP (Solar)
Boomer B: 60 HP (Solar)

-- D'BLOONS --
DubloonMan.EXE: 130 HP (Solar)

50% Solar (Pathway)
50% Glass (Edges of pathway)
"YAR HA-HAR!" laughed DubloonMan in a howl of victory over the Swordy.

He had met his enemy in a fair duel and emerged the winner. Now there were only two more nuisances to deal with. The Boomers' open maws made them vulnerable and it was only natural for a pirate to capitalize on the weakness of others. He charged in, thrust his hook towards one of their mouthes and turned the point upwards.

"Yar, I caught me a big one! Time ta give it thol' heave ho and reel er`in!"

He looked to the other Boomer to make sure it was still there. He braced his hook with his other hand and fiercely swung both arms over his head in an attempt to throw one virus into the other. It took all of his strength but the Rageclaw seemed to amplify his abilities, making the task much easier.

"Finish them off with a Shotgun!" Roger said.

"Aye..." sighed DubloonMan, slowly retrieving his Blunderbuss from his coat, "Betty'll be wantin' a word with the lotta ye on ettiquite regardin' interruptin' a duel. Listen closely, as she'll only be sayin' this once."

And with that, he pointed the gun at the viruses and fired, adding violent punctuation to the end of his taunt.

1 - Take Aim
2 - Rageclaw throw BoomerA, BoomerB (20 damage)
3 - Shotgun BoomerA (50 damage + spread 2) + Break
Charging immediately towards one of the Boomers, DubloonMan quickly lifted the virus over his head and threw it at the other, disorienting both for a second. The second, of course, was all that was needed for DubloonMan to finish them off with his blunderbuss.


-- D'BLOONS --
DubloonMan.EXE: 130 HP (Solar)

50% Solar (Pathway)
50% Glass (Edges of pathway)

-- BATTLE 02, VICTORY!! --


DubloonMan was fired up, laughing maniacally and chanting some kind of sea shanty. Roger wasn't sure if it was the thrill of battle; the feeling of conquering his enemies; or if it was just the sight of zenny that set off his his navi, but whatever it was, they were both extremely pleased with their progress. As with his earlier victory, DubloonMan conjured up his treasure chest to store his not-so ill-gotten gains.

As DubloonMan shovelled heaps of zenny into the chest, he asked, "So Roger, m'lad, tell me: what kinda mahn be ye?"

"Oh..." Roger mumbled, surprised that his navi would take an interest in his life. He was embarassed to answer but replied, "Heh, I'm... I'm just a janitor at the SciLabs."

"A SWABEE?" His navi exclaimed before laughing his typical laugh, "YAR HA-HAR! HAR HAR HAR!"

Roger spirit was instantly crushed knowing that even his own navi would mock him. The whole reason he had gotten this PET in the first place was to forget about his real life and now his plan had completely backfired. He had half a mind to uninstall everything until Dubloon's laughter died down and he continued, "Aye, tis' a good life, a swabee. D'ye keep yer ship runnin' tight and the poop deck clean?

Roger was still disgruntled but nodded, "Yeah, sure. I do a good job, I guess."

"Arrrrrr... Then ye be fulfillin' yer task. Let no mahn ask any more a ye' than that." his navi grinned as the last zenny fell into place, "None be leadin a life too perfect or flawed. Tis' a balance, Roger. D'ye unnerstand, m'lad?"

Roger's anger dissipated as quickly as it emerged and he was filled with a renewed sense of purpose and pride.

"And should any mahn be leadin' a life too perfect, he'll not be leadin' it fer long if he runs into the likes of me! YAR HA-HAR! TO YOKA!"

His operator laughed alongside, wiping away a small tear, "Hahahaha... Yeah. To Yoka."

((Battle 3))
Walking further through the pathway led DubloonMan to yet more viruses. Two Champu were looking to be hard at work assembling something like two long pillars of unknown type. The Champu looked a bit different than the normal types, wearing attire not similar to other viruses of its kind. They wore dirty shirts that were caked with brown dirt, and various tools were slung from a belt. They were hammering away at the pillars when they noticed DubloonMan's presence. One of them immediately reacted by pulling out a small remote with a button on it and whacking it as hard as it could. The pillars then transformed into full-fledged Gunner viruses, locked and loaded!

Champu A: 60 HP (Solar)
Champu B: 60 HP (Solar)
Gunner A: 60 HP (Metal)
Gunner B: 60 HP (Metal)

DubloonMan.EXE: 130 HP (Solar)

10% Metal
50% Solar
40% Glass

"Argh, I can't believe how many viruses there are!" groaned Roger, "This was supposed to be a clear path to the Yoka link."

DubloonMan nodded with a stroke of his beard, "Yarrr... Thar indeed be many a foe blockin' arr path..."

"Oh hey, I actually have one more chip! I got it a long time ago when they had this offer and I just picked it up. It was before I got the PET so I just kind of put it away somewhere. I think it's on a shel-"

His navi interrupted his Operator's rambling story with a shout, "WHAT'RE YE WAITIN' FER!? GIVE IT HERE!"

While Roger began to frantically search his shelves for the misplaced chip, DubloonMan paced around his enemies, sizing them up and gauging their strength. Keeping to the solid Solar panels, he made a note not to venture over the fragile looking glass terrain. He recognized the Champus as brawlers - close range fighters but the Gunners were merely manned turrets. It would be easier to take them out first and take his time enjoying a fist fight with the other ones.

"FOUND IT!" Roger cried, his voice muffled by a stack of paper towels. He hurried back to the PET terminal and slotted in the chip without reading it, eager to see what it did.

A large red barrel, held together with black rings and sealed with a cork stopper materialized in front of DubloonMan. Roger stared at the screen in confusion though his navi seemed to recognize what it was immediately. Roger took a second look at the chip he had just used and read the name, "Fireburn Two... Huh."

Hoisting the barrel up with one arm, Dubloonman ripped off the small cap with his hook. The vicious uncorking caused some of its contents to spill out from the top - a thick, grainy black dust. In a powerful heaving motions, the barrel was shaken up and down and side to side like a comically large can of pop. The powder sprayed out in bursts and jets as DubloonMan swung it wildly, dousing the glowing floor with sooty patches and blackened trails. As the keg finally emptied, DubloonMan discarded it in favour of a single matchstick withdrawn from his coat pocket.

"Yarrr... Thar be enough black powder fer a ship's full volley. Pity." DubloonMan said, dropping the match onto the a thin line of dust.

The match ignited the trail like a fuse, burning down rapidly to the largest masses of the gunpowder before exploding in random, uncontrolled bursts of fire and smoke. Sensing an incoming attack from the Champus, DubloonMan took hold of his anchor's chain and with a quick pull of his arm, launched it in an arc around his head. The heavy weight continued to provide a temporary defense against the Champus' advances.

"Hold on, I'll slot in a Cannon!" Roger said.

"Yarr, hold yer fire. This be a fight between men an' whate'er foul beasts they be," DubloonMan said as he released the anchor at his enemies, "...FETCH ME ME RAGEHOOK."

1 - Line up Gunners
2 - FireBurn2 GunnerA, GunnerB (90 damage + line(3))
3 - Anchors Aweigh! (Self-slow, Nova 2 Knockback + 10 damage) + Champu A (40 damage)
Materializing a keg of gunpowder before him, DubloonMan thrashed the explosive dust about before lighting it up. The flame burst through the Gunners with a vengeance, turning the turrets to toast. The Champu looked quite irritated at this development and warped up to the pirate Navi. However, the attack was repelled when DubloonMan took out his anchor and swung it about, knocking back the Champu and hitting them for a fair bit of damage.

Champu A: 10 HP (Solar)
Champu B: 50 HP (Solar)

DubloonMan.EXE: 130 HP (Solar)

10% Metal
50% Solar
40% Glass
"Rageclaw? I think it's better to fight them from afar." said Roger.

The Rageclaw was slotted in and DubloonMan's prosthetic was empowered with a mild glow. He made his way to the viruses, eager to close the short distance between them.

"Afar? But ye be not familiar with the joys a battle, lad!" DubloonMan argued while performing a backhand swing of his hook, aimed to knock one Champu into the other.

Roger was surprised, "I didn't take you for someone who'd wanna, you know, fight fair..."

That single comment sparked a laugh greater than any his navi had given before, "YAAR HA-HAR HAR HAR HAR! FAIR!? HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR! Ohhhh, I'll be needin' Betty fer' this. Me eye be waterin' like a crack in a hull."

"What? I don't get it." Roger replied, confused but still focussed enough to slip the chip through the PET.

DubloonMan was rubbing his eye on his sleeve and trying to hold it together but he simply couldn't contain his laughter, "Yar har har... FAIR! Ho ho ho ho... Roger, lad, 'fair' be not in a pirate's list o' words!"

Peeking out from his weepy-eyed daze, he spotted the Champu and snapped the Shotgun in its direction. His laughter stopped momentarily, but his sadistic grin didn't waver in the slightest. The trigger clicked, sending a wide spray of buckshot all over the charred and glimmering landscape. A second flick of his wrist cleared away the smoke rising from the barrel as he sheathed the firearm back into his jacket.

"It be a matter o'... 'Personal satisfaction' that I get down an' dirty just so I kin hear their screams better an' be th'last to see their sorry faces!" DubloonMan explained. He strode his way to what remained of the viruses with his hook at the ready as Roger considered DubloonMan's words.

1 - Rageclaw throw Champu A, Champu B (20 damage)
2 - Shotgun Champu B (50 damage + Spread 2)
3 - Rageclaw Champu B (40 damage)
As the backhand lashed the Champus against one another, one was immediately deleted upon impact while the other was simply wounded. In a desperate act, the last of the Champu violently swung its fiery fist as it charged towards Dubloon, landing a single hit to the navi's side before it was filled with lead.


DubloonMan.EXE: 120 HP (Solar)

10% Metal
50% Solar
40% Glass

400z + [Firehit1] BattlechipFireHit1
Damage: 60 + Impact + Double Attack
Accuracy: A
Description: Throws a blazing punch from a distance.
Duration: Up to 2 uses before the end of the turn
Element: Fire
Special: Double Attack: After spending an action to attack with this chip, you may choose to spend a second action and attack with it again before the end of the turn.
"YARRR! Sucker punched! He be a fighter to th' bitter end..." DubloonMan noted, taking off his hat in a display of begrudging respect for his enemy before plopping it back on.

"I don't get it. Why do you mock and look down on everything you fight, but tip your hat to that one virus that hit you?" Roger asked.

DubloonMan was busy counting his zenny and examining the battlechip data, giving it a small bite to test its durability. Without a break in his routine, he replied, "If'n ye don't unnerstand, I'll not be explainin' th' complexities of a fightin' life."

Roger nodded at the sage wisdom of his navi in silence. DubloonMan seemed so simple at first glance but there was something else to him that Roger desperately wanted to know about and each battle seemed to draw out more of his true personality.

Meanwhile, his navi had just finished counting the rewards, "Three hundred an' ninety nine... An' another four hundred dubloons to me name! Yar ha-har! Tis' a good life!"

"Alright, let's keep going." prodded Roger.

"Aye, resumin' course!" replied DubloonMan.

((Battle 4))
DubloonMan came across something strange...really strange compare to everything else he's seen so far. A ferocious ElecOgre, complete with a white headband that had big bold "LEADER" written on it, was peacefully sleeping while a group of viruses were protecting it. Though the Boomer was ready to attack anyone who would disturb their leader, the Cannonguards were more focused on keeping the ElecOgre's safety over anything else...

BoomerA: 60 HP
BoomerB: 60 HP
CannonGuardA: 60 HP [Guard]
CannonGuardB: 60 HP [Guard[
ElecOgre: 120 HP (Sleeping)

Terrain: 100% Metal

DubloonMan.EXE: 120 HP