Bill N. Clusterbuck's

Satou took the chips from Teddy and nodded to himself. With his previous surveillance, they'd probably come in handy straight away. "We should take the not-so-crowded staircase, yeah," he confirmed in a quiet voice, tilting his head to Teddy, "But it'll be hard with him over there." He nudged with his head over where Bill was, but noticed something amiss with the cowboy. If little boys would start to scramble around his feet, he'd have a hard time getting by. Especially if he looked as weary as he did now.

"Satou," VenusMan's voice sounded from the PET, "We've got confirmation." He figured that was enough for Satou to understand the message and went on by himself to read the e-mails properly. He wasn't too sure if he was comfortable with Phero addressing him with 'beautiful'. "Does this girl even understand it...?" he wondered to himself and swapped attention to the other e-mail. "Sadistic play... Tools... Databank... Jack Out..." chimed through VenusMan's mind and a little plan began to form in his head. A wicked smile spread across his face as he spoke up again. "Hey Satou," he started, "I think there's a videogame up there. Maybe it's something for Teddy and his Navi." He didn't tell anymore. If he could get LightgunMan to enter with Buck, he could tunnel his way after them and get to the databank BroncoMan mentioned.

"Oh, new information from Dharma?" Satou asked and turned to look at Teddy, "Guess we've located your game. Now to get up there..." Satou turned to look at the staircase and the worn cowboy. "Tell Dharma to check for the other staircase. We'll be going up there," he told his Navi.

"Gotcha," VenusMan replied and started typing another e-mail for his partner. He squinted his eyes a bit, pondering how to start this e-mail. He didn't want to run into the same 'beautiful' reply again. But calling her 'love' would be too early. Maybe something botanical like 'rose'. Flowers were romantic, so how about 'sunflower'. What if he decided to start the e-mail without anything.


Maybe Phero would create her own greeting or simply copy him again if she were to reply. "It's starting to feel like an experiment..." he thought, but dismissed the thought quickly.

"OK, let's go see my cousin," Satou told his accomplice and slowly walked over to the roped off staircase. He held the arcade chips in his hands, ready to get thrown, and looked over at Teddy. He crouched slightly so his hands would get closer to the ground and spoke up to Teddy. "Isn't this place great?" he asked with a big smile and threw the chips across the ground over towards the cowboy owner. Hoping Teddy would follow suit, he stood up from his position and dashed towards the staircase. Once there he raised the rope enough so Teddy could get underneath it, following once the boy had gone through. If successful, it was easy sailing from here. If only Dharma was up there to greet them and not someone else.

Both Lala and the woman not yet introduced looked a bit shaken by Dharma's less-than-veiled implication that there was something fishy going on between the three of them. "E-eh...? Something screwy?" she asked Dharma, before looking to Lala, clearly deferring that to her.

"All right, sure! We have got an eensy weensy issue, but I don't think it's a big deal," Lala responded, seeming to have regained her normal cheery composure. "Yoohoo, boys! We've got to have a little girl chat, so if you can please hold on just a moment longer~?" With that, Lala grabbed Dharma and the unnamed woman by a hand, ushering them around a nearby corner and away from the moaning throng of waiting customers.

"H-hold on, Lala! You shouldn't be touching me, remember? I'm... haaa... haaa!" the girl began, before suddenly rearing her head back in the familiar gesture of an oncoming sneeze.

"Eeew~," Lala responded, quickly shaking her hand loose now that the three were all behind cover.

With her hand now free, the girl took a tissue from her pocket and sneezed into it, just in the nick of time. Wiping her nose, she turned back to Dharma with an embarrassed smile. "I'm sorry... maybe I'm not one hundred percent yet after all. I never gave you my name, either! I'm Tammy."

Dharma thought she saw a slight irritated twitch of Lala's usual frozen grin. "Silly Tammy! Now isn't the time for introductions, you know~? I need Dharmy's help with a serious emergency!"

"That's fine, but does she have to do it in that?" Tammy began, with her shy, seemingly restrained smile. "I mean, that's-"

"Nevermind that, Silly Tammy! Before we talk about that, why are you even here? You're clearly sick like a dog, like you told me about earlier! Shouldn't you be at home resting?"

"Well, Lala, I was just thinking I might be feeling good enough to work my night shift, so I came back for-"

"No, no! No way, silly!" Lala threw her arm around Tammy, apparently forgetting about her revulsion at the girl's apparent sickness. "Silly Billy! Hahahaha... There's no way you can work tonight like that. So why don't you scoot your cute caboose back home, get some rest, and leave the work to me and Dharmy?"

The girl smiled, tilting her head. "Aaw, that's sweet of you, Lala. I guess maybe I should take some more time off, even though they probably won't be happy about it. If only I had a replacement like Dharmy for my work!"

Lala smiled a bigger grin than usual, looking especially tickled with that response. "Right? Dharmy's been a great help! And she's going to be an even bigger help when she gives those customers over there our special birthday treatment, teeheehee..."

"Oh, she gets to do that? Neat," Tammy agreed, with a big smile on her face. "I'm just confused as to, um, why she has to wear-"

"I said don't worry about it!" Lala responded. "It was Bill's idea, okay? I mean, you know, Buck came up with it!"

"Well, that's fine, but what if I need it for- h-hey! Lala!" Tammy began, before Lala began pushing her back towards the staircase.

"No more from you! Go back and get bedrest! Dharmy I'll show Tammy back out and take care of the stairs for a bit. Do you mind going to the people at that table over there? See that guy with the party hat? His name's Dave, and he needs someone to sing him the happy birthday song! All you have to do is just sing happy birthday to him in a sexy voice! Look him in the eyes when you do it! And when you finish it, you turn around... and you have to stand close to him! I can't leave those guys at the stairs, so just go take care of it, all righty~? There's nothing tricky! When you're done, come back!"

Dharma might very well have some reservations or remaining questions, but the fact of the matter was Lala had already begun maneuvering Tammy back towards the stairs. If Dharma wanted to pursue the three of them, she may be risking making a scene in front of the stairs. On the other hand, if she was keen to continue doing her job, she could follow the direction Lala had indicated earlier. Who exactly was wearing the party hat, though, might scare her off of it... she couldn't make out all the details from here, but the guy clearly had a thick, bushy grey beard and a black coat. The pointed pink party hat couldn't look any more out of place, but that was what made it obvious. There was another guy next to him who looked less intimidating but perhaps even more interesting, in a purple coat with white long white hair. They seemed to be having drinks.

---

"R-really?" Ted responded to Satou, seeming surprised at his information on what exactly was up there for him. That said, he did seem to believe it. "Well, all right, then! I knew there was a reason something was calling to me to get up there. Has your cousin played it already? Well, not like it matters," Ted said, grinning widely. "In just a little bit, all records of anybody else playing will be gone when I get the first, second, and third-to-thirtieth on the board!"

Shortly after, Satou demonstrated his plan, which had different effects than he'd probably hoped for. Whatever was keeping the people at the occupied staircase busy had apparently escalated. The group there was so busy complaining amongst themselves that they barely took any notice of the clattering coins. Similarly, while Bill outside the door spared it a brief glance and did seem curious, he seemed to be keeping up conversation with the pair of customers as a professional duty.

"Well... I guess it worked," Ted said, muttering to himself. "Nobody took the bait, but they all seem too busy to notice us. I hate to leave all the tokens, but we'd better go! I can feel better about it if I tell myself I'm giving back to this arcade from which I've taken so much." Seeming to like that, Ted raced up the stairs, perhaps a bit more noisily than Satou had hoped for.

If Satou followed Ted to the top of the stairs, he would be granted a similar view to what Dharma had already seen (and perhaps more women in scanty costumes than he yet had. Past the rope barricade, if he turned to his left, he would hear the impatient growls of waiting customers and see a small woman with green hair pushing a larger woman with brown towards the stairs. He wouldn't see Dharma unless she turned the corner...

Ahead, he could see the booths directly ahead, waiting to serve paying customers, as well as an area for shooting pool with three pool tables to the right. There was a bar to the left, as Dharma knew, but it would be hidden from the boy's view unless he walked to the left. He could see that a number of booths and one pool table were free, and now that he knew to look for them, could tell either would have a jack-in port. The front area looked relatively clear, and it seemed entirely possible that Satou and Ted could make their way through to wherever they wanted to go... but if they sat down and started operating, they'd almost certainly be in danger of being seen. Would people care that there were kids in this area, or make a move to throw them out, though? That part was unclear, and there really wasn't any way to tell...

At the top of the staircase, Ted was looking starstruck and didn't seem like he would be good for a plan. Maybe there was some way Dharma could help?

"'Dharmy'. Charmed," Dharma answered Tammy's introduction, keeping on a nice face but refusing the handshake right out. She had no reason to flatter Tammy and wouldn't want to shake her hand in the first place, even less so with her obviously having some contagious sickness. Lala was obviously still trying to dance around certain subjects and Tammy wasn't forceful enough to bring them into the conversation herself, either from being a pushover (likely, if she was doing a job like this), or from the puniness associated with her being sick. Dharma honestly didn't care either way; enough had been said to give her what she felt was the basic gist: Tammy was the go-to girl for some of the sleezier services that the upper area afforded its customers, she was sick, and thus, a perfect opportunity had been created for Bill to replace her with Dharma for the night. At the same time, it was surprising that Tammy seemed so eager to get back to work, just as it was surprising that she didn't see the outfit as natural for someone replacing her. All of that said, Dharma still had little concern. After all, the fact that she was wearing such a ridiculous costume was about the same as if she had ended up wearing what Lala was; the most ridiculous part about the outfit was that she, Dharma Heart-Payne, had been recruited into the service industry, not the fact that it made her look like a stripper, in her mind. So really, one costume was about as good as another.

What did annoy her was that it was beginning to sound like Lala was getting full of herself. "'Dharmy's been a great help?' Give me a break... To be in my presence, for me to act in this capacity... For peanuts, as I am... All of you are getting an unprecedented opportunity here already, and all you can think of is such trite gratitude? The both of you and that fat bastard ought to be licking my shoes," she thought to herself, although she kept her smile plastered on. Now, the smile wasn't hiding any threat, but it was hiding her foul opinion of others. "Well, at least the situation is all within tolerances. Wait..."

Riding a man like a horse was one thing (under different circumstances, that might even be appealing, in a way)... But singing a skanky rendition of a children's song and then 'standing around and sticking close to him' was seeming a little over-the-line. Dharma didn't have a lot of experience with perverted male birthday parties, but she had a guess that something gross was going to happen when she got close to Dave and turned around. After all, how could he resist himself? Even without the knowledge that she was a celebrity and CEO, he would still feel the raw, tangible aura of charisma emitted by a world leader such as herself and would most certainly not pass up the opportunities to indulge his lust while he had the chance, although how, she couldn't quite say. Given that, and really, just the need to sing, could she honestly go through with the plan? It wasn't that she was worried about her own self-respect, but rather, worried that her own loathing of others was going to get out of control, causing her to lash out in a way she'd regret. She didn't like not having the option to give out really nasty veiled or unveiled threats.

While Dharma pondered her situation, Phero answered VenusMan's e-mail, again copying his own style of message, as he'd figured she might be.

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That's fine. I think the other girls who watch the stairs are going down the other staircase right now, I think they should be down before you're up. There's no other workers around right now. VenusMan, if you're going to meet Buck, be very careful. I don't want you to be injured.

-Phero.EXE

"I hope VenusMan's going to be okay..." Phero wondered out loud. She thought about asking Dharma if she had any advice, but for one thing, Dharma probably didn't give a damn about VenusMan's safety (she probably barely gave a damn about Satou's), and for another, her operator seemed pretty concerned with her own situation right now. "It'll be okay... Um..."

Dharma was starting to turn a bit red in spite of herself. The reaction was a mixture of impending embarrassment and current anger. "What?" she snapped, turning her eyes down to the PET at her waist.

"Can you... sing?"

"Of course I can sing 'Happy Birthday!' Who can't sing 'Happy Birthday?!'" she barked. After all, she'd heard the words from her those at the parties her father used to hold for her so many times when she was a child. How hard could it be? In exclaiming those words, however, she'd pretty much locked herself in; Dave and his gang would have heard her yelling "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and would probably be looking in her direction now. She'd made a long career of switching suddenly from gross contempt to pleasant smiles, however, and used those talents now, putting on a beaming smile... one that still clashed with the dark shadow being cast over her eyes by the down-turned cowboy hat, however. She figured she'd do well to imitate Tammy this time around, as best as she could, rather than go the sadist route... these guys were probably expecting Tammy and, as appealing as she was certain her aura of charisma was, she was going to have to avoid straying too far out of their comfort zone. She was already going to have to recover some lost ground, as she didn't have quite the... mass appeal, so to speak, as Tammy did, given her body. Ordinarily she'd be happy for that, but these guys probably preferred their girls fully loaded.

"Howdy! Sorry to pop a surprise on ya'll," she laughed, beginning to skip to the group with an over-exaggerated expression of innocence and gaiety. She immediately regretted her decision. Saying 'ya'll' had just tugged on every nerve in her body, and the added stress of pretending to be happy-go-lucky was driving her insane. No, she'd have to dial it back a bit. "I'm sorry Tammy couldn't be here tonight," she began, assuming that they would be looking for her, "but I hope that you fellas can make do with me tonight~" When she was close enough, she leaned over to the man of the hour, tipping her hat as she did so (very briefly, she really didn't want them getting a chance to stare at her face). She didn't introduce herself by name and just hoped that they wouldn't think about it. "Dave, you're the party boy, right? I've got a special song then, just for you! Hold on to your party hat!" She straightened back up, her slender waist and back falling into an upright line, then cleared her throat, placing one gloved hand at her mouth. She closed her eyes for a bit... almost as if she was having to recall the words to Happy Birthday. Before they could have time to think about that, she clasped both hands together and began.

Temporarily forgetting her hatred of her operator, Phero found herself rooting for her operator, hoping that the song would come out well. After all, everyone liked a good song, but... more importantly... she thought that the situation was going to be worse for the party-goers if Dharma didn't stay happy.

"Haaaaappy birthday... to Dave?" she began, starting off on an utterly wrong note. For one thing, it turned out she actually had the high-pitched singing voice of a twelve-year-old. For another, it had taken her a second to decide whether 'you' or the birthday boy's name was appropriate. "Happy birthday to Dave! Happy biiiirthday to Dave! Happy birthday to Dave~" she sang, a bead of sweat running down the side of her head. She knew that there were more words to the song besides what she was singing... there had to be. What kind of asinine song only repeated the same words four times, then ended? Finally, she remembered: the extra lines that her dad had always sang by himself before she'd blown out the candles on the cake. "I looo~oove you! I'll always love you! I'll looove you, dear Dave! I'll always l-"

Dharma nearly doubled over with the realization of what she'd just added, feeling like she was going to dry heave. It was all that she could do to stop herself from hitting the floor, propping herself with her hands against the opposite table. She kept a smile on her face by shear force of determination. "Ah... Please, forgive me, fellas, I just... Got a bit light-headed with excitement there, for a moment," she laughed. "You're excited too, right, fellas?" she asked... and as she did, tried to recall what was the last part of her task as Dave's human party favor. However, she was bent over the next table, with the back of her skirt facing right towards the group of gentlemen and the skirt was riding a bit high due to the length, showing off all of her thighs and a bit of her cheeks... so she had already basically taken the position.

"S-She's really doing it!" Phero whispered to herself. In a frenzy, she typed another e-mail to VenusMan.

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Dharma is really going to do the birthday party for Dave! She sang a song and now she's bending over for them!

-Phero.EXE

Somewhere in his subconscious, Satou was kind of disappointed at how easily they got through to the top floor. But the adventure could still take its turns for the boy and his currently absent minded companion. He looked around curiously, trying to figure out what was so special about this top floor for the men to flock towards it. Pool tables? Booths? He wasn't sure what to think of it. With his length, he doubted he could actually play pool accurately. But what was more surprising was that in front of him and Teddie, the way was pretty much open. Were all the men attracted elsewhere on the second floor? It didn't matter. What mattered was getting to a location where VenusMan could venture into the digital space.

"Boy," VenusMan started, "Give me an eye." Satou held the PET up at VenusMan's request, giving the Navi a view of the area. The Navi looked around for a moment, but quickly noticed the jack-in port. "Over there," he mentioned and gestured towards the unoccupied pool table, "Our game is in there." Satou turned the screen of the PET back to his own face right in time to see VenusMan grinning wide. "We won't leave until we get the high score, will we?" he asked Satou, but also wanted to lure Teddy in with the promise of a game he could conquer.

Slowly Satou started to understand the meaning behind VenusMan's words. He knew they were told not to fight Buck, it being too dangerous for them. But with LightgunMan, they'd have one more person in the fight. "Don't forget, VenusMan," Satou replied, while his gaze turned up to the empty pool table, "The high score is for Teddy. We are only helping him."

"Of course," VenusMan replied as he shrugged before turning to the latest few mails he got from Phero. "What is even going on there," he muttered to himself and pulled up a virtual keyboard to type a response. He thought for a while what to reply with, but figured it'd be best to inform them about the boys' positions. It was fortunate he wouldn't need Satou to complete his task, but it was helpful if he had LightgunMan at his side in the network to use him as the fool VenusMan imagined him to be. At worst Satou could pass off the PET to Dharma so it'd be in range. "Well then," he whispered and tapped the keys of his keyboard. But swiftly he pressed the backspace key, realizing she'd reply in the same fashion as his mail. But wait... Wasn't this a good situation to get an interesting reaction?

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Hey there again, flower,

Sounds like things are heating up there. Maybe you can sing a song for me too sometime. I'm sure in the right mood, I can get you to bend over too.
But back to our task at hand. The boys have arrived at the second floor. I'm making them hide out under a pool table. If you can have Dharma add some cover to the location, it'd help. And remember. If anyone asks, he's Dharma's cousin.

- VenusMan.EXE

"Too daring?" he asked himself, seeing the mail in front of him. It was good the information about the boys was in the mail, but the first part wasn't exactly his usual style. He sighed for a moment and hit the 'erase mail' button. But unfortunately for the botanical Navi, the only message on his screen was 'Mail Sent'. In silence he stared at the popup, followed by another sigh. "Satou, let's get to the location. And turn off the PET's audio. I expect a mail and I don't want to blow our cover." Luckily still in his PET, he sat on his digital floor with legs pulled up to his chest and hands against his face.

Satou looked at his PET curiously for a moment, but opted not to ask and just turned off the audio as requested. "Teddy," he said and looked over to his companion, "If we don't move now, they'll find us." He then pointed at the pool table, covertly enough not to extend his arm completely. "We can find the game through the jack-in port there. Once in the network, look for a door. There's a special arcade in that room. My cousin who works here once told me about it." He was pretty sure that at this point, Teddy would believe any lie he could feed him. But on the other hand, did this make him the evil villain of this story? He was sure this was all because of VenusMan's influence on him, but it didn't feel bad to get what he wanted through others. Satou smiled at this companion, before turning away and looking for any men on their way to the pool table before running over towards it. He quickly crouched down, crawling underneath it in his crouched position while making enough space for Teddy to join him. He made sure to remember where the jack-in port was so he could jack VenusMan once Teddy was in position.

A number of familiar eyes were on Dharma as she made her way to Dave: after all, about half of the people seated were people who had passed her on the staircase. Dave was close to the back, but his party hat served as a beacon as she moved forward, impossible for Dharma to miss. As she neared, she was able to get a better look at the two...

Dave, the man of the hour, was dressed in a thick black coat. It was plush, giving the impression it was expensive, but in terrible condition. It was the kind of condition that might remind one of deep forest hiking or wrestling animals. The man himself was of tan complexion, with a thick beard, a perpetually creased forehead, and glowing, ferocious-looking dark eyes deep-set in his skull. Now that Dharma was closer, she could see there were still streaks of black in his grey, and he had a healthy amount of badly combed hair atop his head.

The man with him seemed entirely different, but just as odd. The potentially more eccentric of the two, he was dressed from head to toe in a shimmering purple suit, wide and baggy in the shoulders and legs but kept tight elsewhere. His hair was pure white, but whereas Dave seemed significantly older than Dharma, this man was perhaps within a decade of her. His skin was more lightly tanned, and his eyes were lighter as well. His expression was somewhat squinty and his face seemed to naturally bend itself into a smile, the expression he was currently giving her. "Well, well, Dave, it appears the universe has seen fit to deliver before you a brief respite from your dismal travels and haunting nightmares."

Dave muttered something unintelligible. Dharma might be well-versed in other languages, but she wouldn't be able to pick his up. It was similar to listening to someone mutter something in his sleep. "Plessdamkyraqua..." His voice tapered off at the end.

"Dave, you mustn't take out your frustrations on the poor child! I apologize, my good woman, but Dave tends to vent from the turmoils of his miserable task upon the nearest target."

The two of them listened to Dharma, not seeming to change expressions when she mentioned Tammy's name. "Dnnut," Dave muttered briefly.

"Dave means to convey that if Tammy were to outshine your own brilliance, we should go blind, and Dave's slowly unravelling mental rope would fray further into madness afore we could complete our quest. This would not do at all! You will prove the perfect distraction for our diversion, my good woman."

Both of them listened eagerly as Dharma began Dave's song, Dave with a look of what appeared to be intense concentration as Dharma hit a wrong note and the other man with his unchanging smile. "Batfoll... Vesyakm'olma," Dave muttered, nodding.

The other man appeared to want to say something, but held his tongue, not wanting to interrupt Dharma's performance. She thought she heard a "pfft" escape from him, however, and might have seen a small crack in his smile as she reached the "love" part.

Dave's eyebrows rose, giving him a rare expression other than "murderous," which seemed to be his go-to. "Mrreksm'tn Ispectin," he muttered, raising his thick, gnarled hands and clapping slowly.

"You've provided a certain thrill to Dave which has seldom visited him in his solitary days and panic-stricken nights. Truly, your acts will shine in our hearts as he carries forward in his grave endeavor! Now, Dave, why don't you partake in that sacred ritual which is given to you, another burden to bear on this anniversary of the first cry you gave in this wicked world?"

Dharma would at this point likely be turned around, so she wouldn't see Dave lift a small black object that had been set on the table. He flipped open another object on the table, which might have appeared to be a fancy checkbook before, and pressed the object to a dark velvet surface. Having done so, he then lifted the object to Dharma and pressed it firmly against her exposed right buttcheek, as high as possible. She would most likely feel a slightly wet sensation. Then, looking satisfied, he placed the object back on the table and crossed his arms.

"Splendid, Dave! The ritual is complete, and your brand will burn brightly for the remainder of the night!" The other man appeared to be quite giddy, as a grin had broken out across his face and he seemed to be shaking with excitement and tittering laughter.

Dharma might notice that by this point a number of people were excitedly watching the table and the performance Dave was enjoying. Even a number of the waitresses around were giving Dharma bemused or confused looks. At the last act, there was again a lot of talk among tables, and things seemed to be settling down a bit more.

Dave and the other man (who had still not given his name) appeared to have gotten to talking amongst themselves again, evidently not expecting anything more from Dharma and giving her freedom to leave if she wished.

---

Ted finally managed to pull his young enthusiasm and attention span from the sultry strutting cowgirls long enough to focus on what Satou was saying. "Oh! Pool is the idea? I haven't tried it before, but of course, I'm a master at virtual pool. I guess the principle's probably the same." Of course, it was normal enough to assume that Satou was talking about pool when he was pointing at a pool table. "Oh, ahah, you mean we jack in, and then there's another arcade... I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty bummed when I thought you meant we came all the way up here for pool. Sounds good, let's do it!" Once again, Satou's lie seemed to have Ted hook, line, and sinker.

There wasn't much trouble finding a time to move. Ted could here a strange, shrill woman's voice which was attracting a lot of attention, both from staff and customers alike. Whether he put together the context clues on that or not, the path was wide open to the pool table.

On the other hand, there really wasn't that much space underneath for two healthy young boys. Satou and Ted found themselves a bit cramped beneath, forced to stay in the position in which they'd crawled below. Furthermore, although the general ambience was dark, there was a lamp directly above the table. While this created the perfect dark shadow right below the table, if either of them moved even slightly from below it, the form of the child would become apparent. "If you haven't already, kill your PET's lights," Ted hissed.

There was a moment of silence before Ted hissed again. "Shoot! I hadn't thought about it, but if I kill my lights, I can't see to operate... is this a game our Navis will be able to win on their own? I'm gonna jack in now, but after that, it's going to be up to Lightgun and VenusMan..." Satou could sense Ted was somewhat bummed again, but seemed to be willing to go along with it.

From beneath the table, Satou could see various cowboy boots belonging to waitresses moving across the aisles. At the present time, nobody seemed concerned about the pool table or the two taking shelter below.

[NET TOPIC SOON AVAILABLE]

Dharma immediately regretted going into her speech without getting a good idea of who Dave was, as presenting such a scary looking fellow with a childish birthday song and an "I love you!" didn't seem right at all once she realized who was the man of the hour, indicated by his party hat. The other guy... she had a feeling she'd seen that smile he was making before. When she really thought about it, she realized that it might remind her a bit of her own: concealing some other much more important, truer emotion. Or at least, she certainly figured it must. Nobody smiled like that without a reason. The more the two talked, either of them, the stranger they seemed. What turmoils? What quest? Why couldn't 'Dave' afford a better outfit if his attendant/admirer was dressed in a way which, while questionably fashionable, was at the very least expensive? She almost couldn't help but think that the other man, possibly the assistant of a senile senior citizen, was taking advantage of him and insisting, 'no, no, you're making perfect sense, don't worry at all,' while neglecting his basic needs health and clothing needs. Not that she really cared, but all of the wild theories that came to mind really illustrated just how bizarre the customers appeared to her.

After her performance, when Dave began clapping and apparently praising her, that only solidified in her mind that he really must not be all-there. Nor was the other guy, for that matter, talking about the evil of the world (in her opinion, it was evil, but come on, you weren't supposed to acknowledge that out in the open). While both the events prior and the mysteriousness of the strangers were weighing on her mind, Dave took the opportunity to stamp her butt with what she assumed was ink. Her face went red beneath the shade of her hat and she fought back with everything she had to avoid allowing a gnarled, twisted, murderous frown that would probably make Dave and his buddy jealous when they saw it. At the very least, the other tables appeared to take that as the climax of her birthday act, so she figured she was probably done with her self-degradation and the incomprehensible enigma that was Dave. She gave them another little wave and a big grin, more childish and over-exaggerated than her usual due to the mental faculties she was devoting to hiding her emotions. Then, she promptly left the table and walked with quick steps over to the right, towards the unoccupied pool table that Satou and Ted had taken refuge beneath earlier.

She rested both hands atop the table, breathing heavily and hunching her shoulders as she ventilated to reduce her stress. "Not good... I don't know if I'll ever forgive that sick-looking old bastard for doing that to me," she thought to herself, biting her lower lip and glaring into the felt of the table-top. Unbeknownst to her, the tips of her cowboy boots were nearly sticking into Ted's chest, with where she'd ended up standing. "I've had it... Damn Bill and Ken and their utter underestimation of all that I am worth and capable of! Damn Dave, damn Dave's attendant, damn everyone at their table!" Having finally discombobulated, she turned around and rested her butt against the back of the table, which would give Ted a decent look at the stamp the birthday-boy had left earlier, if he dared look. "The only saving grace will be if Satou and his navi have managed to find that blasted secret spice..."

In the mean time, Phero was still in communication with VenusMan. "I don't think I was programmed to sing, though... Bend over? Like... when animals bend over, for intercourse?" she thought, feeling her face go a little hot. "Oh... No! He probably means so he can stamp by butt cheek, like when Dharma entertained that table." The hapless navi really had no clue, but as far as she could knew, that was what it meant for someone to bend over. "I guess I'd let him... But does it really make guys that happy?"

Besides flirtatiousness, VenusMan had also included a useful status update that informed Phero of Satou and Ted's location: directly underneath Dharma. Still, she couldn't exactly blurt that out for her operator, nor did Dharma look like she was in any mood to sympathize with the plight of the boys. In fact, she almost pictured Dharma giving them a swift, unwarranted kick beneath the table, based on how angry she looked, with only the shadow and her long, black hair providing a curtain for her unveiled, angry face when she'd bent over the table just now. Still, Phero thought that even if she couldn't help Satou and Ted, she might be able to help the navis out on the net somehow, if she could just reach them. That and... she was getting pretty lonely. She didn't want to be the only one left out of the excitement. "Dharma, could you jack me into this pool table?" she asked her operator, noticing a jack-in port.

"... Why?" Dharma murmured. Even in her agitated state, she was clearly suspicious of her navi and still cautious enough to drill her.

"Well, I was just thinking that I might be able to communicate better with VenusMan for our mission if I was there to act as a lookout for him," the navi offered.

"I don't see how you could help him at all. If anything, you'll be in the way," Dharma sighed. "Well, if nothing else, maybe you'll distract someone. Just please, don't ruin this mission... I absolutely, positively will not be told that I've degraded myself for nothing," the CEO grumbled, begrudgingly jacking Phero into the table. Truth be told, she just didn't have the energy to over-analyze Phero's intentions at the moment.

"Thank you, Madam President!" Phero finished, bouncing and smiling as she headed in to join VenusMan and, very likely, be in the way.

((Jacking in to net topic))

Satou quickly killed the lights of his PET after Teddy mentioned it. "Good catch," he whispered to his companion in stealth. He sneaked a peek from underneath the table, but couldn't see Dharma right away and quickly lost interest in further investigating the environment. "VenusMan, I'm counting on you," Satou said while, probably, looking at the front of his PET. He didn't get a reply other than an LED light going on, indicating that the PET was now connected to a network. "I don't think they'll have trouble with the game," Satou told his friend, "Besides... Wouldn't it be way cooler if your Navi returned with the prize by himself? On his own strength?"

He put his PET away, thinking he wouldn't need it for now and wondered what to do now. It's not like he was in the right location or situation to just start walking around, not to forget that Teddy was there too. He would've liked to get back to Dharma to see a face he could recognize, but he was stuck in the darkness of the pool table.

[[Jacking in to Net Topic]]

No one stopped Dharma as she quickly made her exit, although it might have been fun to see someone try. As such, she glided aimlessly like an angry spirit towards the unattended pool table.

---

Prior to Dharma's arrival, Ted was trying to listen to his ally from his challenging positioning. "I hope you're right. I know LightgunMan's good, but I think of us as a team, you know?" He might have had more to continue with, but as a figure was somehow beelining straight for their table, he apparently thought it wise to shut up.

Satou could see the boots from his position, but more importantly, he could hear Dharma's voice as she and Phero conversed. Would now be a good time to rendezvous with his acquaintance? Ted seemed to have gone quiet, although it wasn't clear if that was due to a desire to preserve their secrecy... or some other reason.

If Satou did want to rejoin Dharma, though, he was going to have to cut in. Before he could take any action, he would become aware of the sound of a quick pair of clops heading towards Dharma. If he was to turn his head, he would see the green-haired girl from before...

---

Lala approached Dharma with a big, unrepentant grin on her face, looking as though her time away had done wonders for her mood, and without Tammy anywhere in sight. "Dharmy! How did the birthday boy enjoy the festivities? I got the situation taken care of at the front, so I wanted to check in with my faaaa~vorite temp! I hope you're getting a nice breather, because the really tough part of your job is still coming up. I've got faith in you, though! You seem like a really hard worker, teeheehee... You're really turning heads on your first night!"

"I don't want to interrupt your break, but let me give you some advice: don't be afraid to take a seat. You're going to want all of your leg strength for your next job! Then again, maybe you'd prefer to stand and let the birthday boy's seal of approval dry a little while longer? You don't want it smeared all over your tushie, after all!" Lala giggled, as though her advice were cute and not infuriating.

With that, the green-haired girl seemed like she was going to turn on her heels and go back to the front, unless Dharmy had anything to say.

[Note: Real World participation for Satou is currently optional, and is not required to progress with the mission. It is not, however, prohibited.]

The half-open eyes of Dharma focused on the unwelcome return of Lala, her face keeping a smile by only sheer force of will. The pharmaceutical company president looked as though she'd just been through something exhausting, although she'd been working for so short a period of time. "Well, it was an irreplaceable experience, to be certain. It's nice to know that I can bring a smile to the faces of others through more than just my company's humanitarian relief funding and my personally conducted pharmaceutical research," she responded, intentionally pointedly, to express through a thing veil just how dissatisfied she was with the time she was wasting here and how she was wasting it. Furthermore, she wasn't really sure that what she'd brought to Old Dave's face could be qualified correctly as a smile. It was some sort of satisfaction, but certainly not traditionally expressed. "'Tough part?' Well, I'll have to be prepared then," Dharma chuckled, although she wasn't amused in the slightest. She wasn't ordinarily averse to hard work, normally, but she had a long history of doing mostly what she liked throughout life. As it turned out, complying with the orders of others rather than giving them really wasn't her bag.

The sound of the activities for the remainder of the night only got worse when she heard that she was going to need leg strength. For what, carrying something? It would figure that after being forced into degrading her sense of dignity, her employers would next force her into crass and common physical labor. She thought to herself that she was probably going to try to find some chemicals on-hand that she could use to poison Lala if the annoying girl kept on talking about that insufferable branding experience. "Quite right, quite right."

Because the situation wasn't quite frustrating enough yet, Lala turned to leave without clarifying what it was Dharma was supposed to do next. "Ahem," the dark-haired girl coughed, trying to draw back Lala's attention. "Excuse me, but what exactly is next on my plate?" she inquired, tilting her head slightly so that her dark hair fell over one mostly bare shoulder. "It figures that I would find poor worker guidance and utilization on top of the manifold other sins of proper business management this hellhole suffers from. Is she really going to leave me here without designating the next task?" A dark, sinister look had fallen over her eyes, still at odds with her calm and easy smile.

"Ahaha," Lala responded to Dharma, holding her cheek and giving a petite wave with her free hand, a gesture with no clear meaning in response to Dharma's attempt to make known the myriad other productive things she could be doing with her time. "Of course! Bringing smiles to people's faces is what we're all about. I'm always going to work hoping to make grumpy old guys like Dave get a big smile," Lala said with a grin. It still wasn't clear why she was telling Dharma all of this.

She didn't stop in response to Dharma clearing her throat, and thus, moving at her usual speed, was already out of earshot by the time Dharma called after her. Of course, if Dharma wanted to make her way after Lala towards the staircase, it wouldn't be too hard...

Surprisingly, as Lala made it to the staircase, she wasn't simply tending it to let people in. Rather, she nudged her way past them and down the stairs. She was small, and thus quickly disappeared through the throng before Dharma could catch up, even if she was following. The people were not especially forgiving in letting anyone through.

Whether Dharma had or had not gone after Lala, someone was clearly seeking Dharma out. Moments after Lala had disappeared into the throng, her acquaintance, Tammy, emerged from it... with some difficulty, as she seemed a bit too tall and too timid to simply shove knees out of the way, as Lala had done. Making her way to Dharma, Tammy approached her with some hesitation. "Hi, Dharmy! I was having a conversation with Bill downstairs, but Lala wanted me to come up and give you a message. I was surprised, since she seemed so determined to have me resting at h- haaaa-" Realizing what was coming, Tammy turned and sneezed into her sleeve. "At home," she finished, unnecessarily. "Lala asked me to tell you that you're work for the night is done. She says she'll see to it you're paid, but you need to get into the dressing room and get changed right away, then leave through the back door."

Even Tammy seemed to realize there was something strange about this message, although she seemed only now to be realizing it. "Dharmy, aren't you working a full shift? Why does Lala... Oh well, don't worry about it! Lala's always looking out for the rest of us, especially us newer hires. If she says you're done and you're still getting paid, I say you should spend the rest of the day enjoying BeeCon!" Tammy said this with a smile that seemed to indicate that she was quite serious, and legitimately thought Dharma might be entertained hanging out around BeeCon. Then again, she wouldn't be wrong if she'd guessed Dharma was, indeed, in attendance earlier that day. "Haaa- haaaaaachfff," she went again, sneezing into her sleeve alarmingly. "M-myself, I think I'd better go warm up some chicken noodle soup... I wish Bill would serve it here! It is chicken, after all..."

---

Ted simply remained silent and motionless, under the table. Satou could only guess whether he was aware of Dharma's presence specifically, if he was coming up with a plan, or if he was simply trying his hardest not to be seen or heard. He seemed to be opting for a communications blackout until further notice... at least, it stood to reason, until the coast was clear.

"Wait! Wait... dammit," Dharma called after Lala, who had disappeared into the crowd with frustrating quickness. She wasn't sure there was ever a time in her life where someone she wanted to catch had fully evaded her grasp, but without any servants around and with no one to call and say "catch that girl," it appeared that Lala was going to get away scot-free. "Grrrr," the hapless Dharma growled, unwilling to pursue her target any further. "Answer me when I'm talking to you..."

There wasn't a lot of time for Dharma to freely express her feelings towards Lala's behavior and her own situation, as she had to quickly reapply the mask of civility in order to face Tammy again. Speaking with Tammy was a lot easier than dealing with Lala, but at the same time, Dharma was at least a bit of a hypochondriac and would rather not deal with anyone so visibly sick for very long. The message that Tammy had came to deliver was a bit of a surprise, but not at all unwelcome. "Is that it? Well, I'm just glad I could help," she smiled, pleased at the idea of putting back on her own clothes and getting out of the skimpy waitress uniform. Unfortunately, it looked like Tammy was now double-guessing her message. The HP company president really had no idea if this was ordinary or not for anyone working for Buck, but according to Tammy, it was. One way or the other, however, she wasn't going back to enjoy Beecon and probably ought not to leave Satou alone either. She figured he was probably still somewhere on the first floor, so she'd find him later. "Yes, please do take care of yourself. But... one more thing before I go," she finished, now tapping her foot unconsciously in a way that gave away her impatience despite her best efforts. "If I was to continue my ordinary shift, what would I ordinarily do next?" Dharma was getting damn tired of having the wool pulled over her eyes and things teasingly explained to her with giggles, undermining her considerable effort to take all of this seriously.

Tammy seemed a bit puzzled at Dharma's question, and seemed to be trying very hard to think of the correct answer before she responded at all. "Um, if you were doing a regular shift, I would say you'd just keep doing what you were doing, until you were doing something else... although, it seems like Lala's been directing you personally? So then... maybe the correct answer is, you'd just keep doing what you were doing until Lala told you to do something different." Seeming satisfied with that, Tammy gave Dharma a nod and a smile, as though she expected to be praised.

The girl wiped her nose a bit, and continued to stare at Dharma. Again, she seemed to be thinking hard about something. "Oh, right! One more thing. When you're done with my outfit, can you make sure to hang it back up for me? I'm not working at the Saloon tonight, but if you're going to be quick changing out of it, I might as well take it back with me." She gave Dharma an empathetic sort of smile, seeming to assume empathy would be Dharma's response.

Dharma may very well have a lot of questions at the moment, but if she was to divert her attention momentarily to the staircase, she would become aware that there seemed to be some sort of commotion going on. A number of customers were talking, but a couple of familiar voices could be heard mixed in... the high-pitched sing-song coos of Lala and the blustery but good-natured faux-cowboy bellows of Bill. It wasn't possible to puzzle out the nature of their conversation over the rest of the crowd, however.

"So, Dharma, are you heading to the chaaaa- chachppft... changing room?" Tammy asked, wiping her nose after another stifled sneeze. "I'll wait outside if you want."

Dharma kept her eyes on Tammy during the waitress' explanation, with one thin eyebrow quizzically peaked. "I suppose that's that, then. She did tell me to change back, after all," Dharma shrugged, although she couldn't help thinking that something was fishy. Lala had vanished with amazing swiftness, raising a lot of suspicion in the process. There had to be some answer, but the hapless pharmaceutical company president hadn't a clue what to make of it. She didn't like being asked to hang someone else's clothes, but it's not like she was so sheltered she wasn't aware of how to pick up after herself. "Thank you for your help. Certainly, I'll hang it for you," she agreed. Really, at this point, her only worry remaining was that she was going to catch whatever Tammy had as a result of wearing her second-hand outfit.

Somewhere in the distance, Dharma heard Lala talking to Bill. While she'd have loved to hear what they were saying, especially if it pertained to her, she was in no mood to try to get close enough to hear, especially not while dressed in a miniskirt that everyone on the staircase would be able to look up every time her thighs parted slightly. She wasn't really certain if waitresses dressed like she was were allowed downstairs to begin with. Bearing that in mind, Dharma agreed that it was best if she head right into the dressing room. "Would you? That would make me a bit more comfortable," she chuckled, vastly understating the degree to which she did not want Tammy near her, let alone watching her undress.

Back inside, Dharma set down her PET again and began stripping back out of the scant pieces of costume she'd been given. Somehow, when she got down to just the cow-print sling bikini, she felt even more mortified than the first time around... even more so once she realized that she could see the stamp upon her butt when she looked in the mirror. "Damn it all," she murmured to herself, briefly wiping before realizing that smearing it so that it was visible across a larger area was not what she wanted to do. With a deep sigh, she bent over to look into the closet from earlier and confirm that her clothes were, in fact, still there. If they weren't... well, they would be, so that possibility wasn't worth her thinking about.

Tammy followed Dharma to the dressing room and, as she had offered, stood outside while Dharma went in. As such, Dharma found herself alone. Whether by planning or good luck, the room was once again unoccupied.

The executive would be pleased to find all of her clothes right where she'd left them. A lot seemed to have happened in a short period of time, but it seemed as though Dharma's adventures for the day were coming to an end...

"Tammy!" Dharma could suddenly hear from outside the door. "You doing okay? Has Dharmy taken off already?"

"No, not yet," Tammy responded to the tellingly sing-song voice. "She's still in there getting changed."

"Oh! Well, I have some more stuff for Dharmy to do after all. Loooots more fun stuff, so I ought to go in and give her the rundown..."

"I-I don't think that's such aaaaah-chfpbt a good idea, Lala. I think she was looking for some privacy. I was surprised, since she seemed so comfortable in my outfit."

"Aw, shucks, Tammy! There's no secrets between grown women and fellow employees. I just want to make sure Dharmy's properly prepared-"

"Really, I don't think that's a good idea! Also, w-wait... why is your-"

"Tammy, just-"

The alarming conversation became even more alarming when the two somehow managed to tumble through the unlocked door. Tammy landed flat on her back, and Lala went toppling onto her, her face buried in the larger woman's chest. Having been jostled, Tammy let out a violent and nasty sneeze, which she just barely managed to avoid blowing straight into Lala's hair. The door hung open, threatening to reveal Dharma to the customer and employee base outside in whatever state of dress she had made it into.

"Owie," Tammy said, rising to her feet and rubbing her sore bottom. She offered a hand to help Lala up.

"Oh my God, you stupid cow!" Lala snapped, growling uncharacteristically as she jumped to her feet. "Like, what the-" The small shift manager jumped, feeling all over herself... before her eyes came to rest on her PET, which had slid close to Dharma. With an alarmed, open-eyed expression that didn't seem like herself, she grit her teeth and made a dive for the PET, as though concerned Dharma would try and grab it before her.

At this point, Dharma might notice that Lala's faint eye liner was running as though she'd been crying. She might notice that some mysterious program seemed to be running on Lala's PET. She might also simply be busy trying to cover herself, close the door, or do any number of other things to preserve what dignity she could. It was a safe bet that people were going to start investigating what had happened soon...

Dharma didn't at all like the sounds of the tussle happening outside her locker room as she grabbed up her clothes. As it turned out, she was right not to like the sounds: the two chuckle-heads she'd been listening to spilled through the door and over each other just as she'd feared they might, but had not acted against, much to her chagrin. At this point, Dharma was confronted with a lot of realities that she didn't want: the reality that she was already being seen in the scandalous cow-print string that Lala had seen fit to make her wear. The fact that others might see it if they looked through the door. The fact that Lala had apparently come running back upstairs with lots of new orders after talking to Bill. The fact that Lala was opening up all sorts of new mysteries, like why she cared so much about the PET on the floor or why she looked as though she'd been crying. At this time, Dharma could really only respond to one of these new pieces of information.

She shut her eyes for just a moment, going a bit red in the face. She didn't like being seen this way but, well, she'd already basically given her employees the same kind of look on her yacht earlier. Furthermore, she'd be even less recognizable as Dharma Heart-Payne while dressed thusly, she imagined. Beyond that, it really didn't affect her mission one way or another whether the door did or did not stay open. What would likely affect her mission was what Lala was trying to hide on her PET. Having made her decision, Dharma kneeled down to grab the PET before Lala could reach it; wide-eyed from the adrenaline of both standing around 85-95% naked and also undercutting the desires of her irascible taskmaster for the afternoon, she clutched it in both hands and made the best defense she could think of. "My word! I must have dropped this when the two of you burst in! I hope the fall hasn't damaged it," she lied, but it was pretty obvious from her face that she was trying to glean as much information as possible from the PET before she handed it back. That would become even more obvious if/when Lala attempted to take it back, at which time she would stubbornly resist until she'd found something interesting or, hopefully, useful in completing their mission of espionage on behalf of Ken Broncos. "Whoops! This one isn't mine after all. I apologize," she tersely dismissed the situation, surrendering it to her employer once she'd gotten what she wanted.

Dharma, now almost unconscious of the way she was dressed due to her focus on other matters, sat down upon the counter where she'd placed her PET (if she thought about it harder, she wouldn't have, as it was a bit unsanitary to place your bottom so bare against an unknown surface). "What on earth is it that's gotten you in such a tizzy?" she asked Lala, now back to giving her faux-sympathetic eyes. "You look as though you've been crying..." She crossed one leg completely naked leg over the other and shook her head sadly. "That won't do, not while I'm on duty here as an employee. Please, tell me what's the matter."

Lala hit the floor with a thud and a curse, finding it devoid of the PET she'd been diving for. Dharma, in the meantime, attempted to view the PET, searching for anything out of place that might reveal the secrets of her night.

How hard she'd have to look would depend on what she intended to find: upon bringing it up, she might be surprised to find an image of Lala lying face-flat on the floor, then rising slowly and hatefully to her feet as though she were some sort of horror movie monster. Of course, it quickly became apparent that what she was looking at was actually video footage, and from easily identifiable markers on the screen, she was operating a camera app.

"Yo, hold up! Lala, what's the-" a young man's voice began, before the app suddenly closed out. In its place was the shoulders up of a Navi, one that appeared to be wearing a helmet fashioned after a back-turned white baseball cap with a black rim. He had a shaved head and dark eyes with dilated pupils that made him seem naturally irritated. It was clear he was wearing a black coat and a gold chain around his neck, but anything more was difficult to determine. "Heyo, hold up now! You ain't- you're- ah sh*t."

The Navi clammed up for a brief period before Lala, with surprising force, managed to yank the PET back from Dharma. "Oh, silly silly Bigsy! He's just a silly scamp, isn't he?! I hope he wasn't up to anything silly! Ah hee hee~ Oh! And you probably want to know about, uh, this! Right?" Lala fumbled around at her face, smearing her eye liner hopelessly into a raccoon mask. "Oh, I was just, uh... Oh, fine, I admit it! I was crying because I was so sad that our night working together is almost up! I was so sad I cried! Aghuuu~" she began sobbing, notably as though on-demand.

"T-that's so touching," Tammy commented, looking like she was going to tear up as well. "I think I'm gonna... I'm gonna... hek!" Tammy's cheeks puffed up alarmingly. She quickly scrambled to her feet, running out of the room and slamming the door behind her.

"I... I was just making up that you had more tasks. You're actually free to leave, right now, if you want... You can just finish dressing... and go on and leave, if you want. Gosh, I feel so stupid, letting my junior see her seniors like this... Aghuuuuuuuu!" Lala wiped her tears, even as more rolled down her cheeks. The two were now alone and the door was closed, leaving Dharma some time to think... that is, unless some turn of fate threw another surprise her way.

Dharma smiled down into the PET with upturned eyebrows, a look that was pitying for no apparent reason and menacing by the fact that she'd still be smiling in this situation. Her eyes held were half-closed and dark, seeming more menacing and brooding than curious or contemplative, given what she'd just seen. "How should I know if Bigsy is a scamp or not? We haven't been introduced," she responded simply, although she hadn't exactly offered up any information about Phero herself yet. She tilted her head slightly as Lala offered forward more information; she crossed one arm behind her back and pressed a finger of her free hand to her lip. "Come now, Lala! You're a professional. I'm flattered, but I don't think you'd cry over something like that," she chuckled, not adding that Lala's explanation seemed especially unlikely given that they'd had maybe ten or fifteen minutes of total interaction since her arriving in the restaurant.

With the door closed now and everyone's cards gradually falling upon the table, Dharma continued smiling, but the upturned look of her eyebrows wasn't making her look humble or sympathetic any more. Rather, the expression was so sharp that it conveyed "do you really think you can trick me with this sort of deception?" Still mostly undressed, she crossed both arms behind her back at the taut back string of her outfit and studied Lala. "Lala, from what you said earlier... I gather you know who I am, don't you?" she cooed, tilting her chin up slightly as she spoke to further look down at the seater. "I'm a humanitarian. When I see someone suffering, or crying, or pleading... I just can't leave them alone," she continued, using one finger to play with the spinning spur on the back of one of the boots she'd put inside her locker. "So when I hear that you're so upset, I become very, very curious. I want to fix the situation. Mostly, I want to know how I can help," she clarified, smiling wider. Her eyes were nearly shut, but a trace of her deadly-still pupils, focused hard on Lala, were still visible. "I think Bigsy knew me too! He didn't sound terribly happy to see me, though. Do you think you can explain that to me? And also, why you were crying? I want to help out, however I can."

She walked a bit closer, keeping the same expression. "I can't neglect people who are crying. Why, in the past, I met an employee of my own who was in grief and weeping, just like yourself. I attempted to console her and understand her, but she just kept pushing me away. You can imagine how I felt; my motherly instinct yearned to help her. Do you know what happened to her, in the end? She vanished! She and her navi... No one saw them again. I don't want anything like that to happen to you," she continued, reaching one hand around Lala to lean her palm onto the countertop behind her, while placing her other hand at her hip. Their bodies were now very close, she seemingly having set aside any shyness related to her costume. "Why don't you share, Lala? Let it all out. I saw you talking to Bill earlier too, after you ran off, you know? Maybe you should confide in me with the same worries?"

"A-ah yeah... BigshotMan is my Navi," Lala replied, either not seeing or acknowledging that Dharma was trying to drive any point home by bringing him up. "And I know it's embarrassing to shed tears like this when you're just part-timing, but I tend to get attached... I already feel like a big sis to you, Dharmy!" Lala turned on the waterworks again, first sniffling and then openly weeping as Dharma continued her ominous diatribe.

She tried to wipe her eyes and focus on Dharma's words. "T-that's sweet of you to want to help me, Dharmy, but you don't have to! You ought to just swing by work again some time, and we can hang out, or give you some more part-time stuff to do!" She gave a friendly grin again, but appeared to audibly gulp again as the conversation turned back to Bigsy. "Uh, I don't think Bigsy knows you, though... he was probably just surprised to see someone who wasn't he. I told you he was silly, riiight~?"

As Dharma kept making her way forward, Lala found herself backed into a corner both literally and figuratively. She seemed intimidated both by the woman's words and her encroaching bosom. "W-what are you talking about...? I was, uh..."

"I-It was me!" the voice from earlier suddenly piped up from her PET. "Me all da way. I was so, uh, infatiated by dem lovely eyes'a yorz dat I... I convinced Lala to getcha ta do a buncha dirty stuff so I could take pictures! She didn't-"

"Oh my God, Bigsy," Lala groaned, "You're such a total dumb*ss. Okay. Yeah, jig's up." Lala let out a breath, flipped her green hair, and opened her eyes, giving a scornful look first to her PET, then to Dharma. "Can you shut it with the lame campfire story crap and get your huge cow boobs out of my face for one second, ma'am?"

"Wuh... no! Lala's just messin' around, she ain't... she don't wanna go to yor crazy detentin' camp or whatevuh! She's just jokin', arright?"

"Can it!" Lala shouted, instantly silencing her Navi. "Yeah, Dharmy, I know exactly who you are. You're that bigwig pharm exec, right? But I haven't got to answer any of your questions. As far as I'm concerned, you're still my butt slave until I release you from your shift. And I have a feeling it's gonna be a very long night, Dharmy, especially since I cleared things up with Billy Boy."

Lala leaned back on the counter behind her, turning her eyes up to glare at Dharma. "Of course, you could always just leave, right? After all, I'm sure a corporate meteor like yourself has got a million things to be doing on a day like this. Except: no, wait. You don't! You're here, wearing the stripper outfit Tammy keeps in her locker for her night shift at the Silver Saloon! Listen, I don't really care why you thought it was a good idea to waltz in here and start stepping on my toes, but I have a feeling you aren't here because you want to be. So why don't you confide in me with some worries? Why don't you share? I'm a humanitarian floor lead, after all!"

Dharma contemplated that she'd never heard such words as Lala was delivering from anyone who wasn't blissfully unaware of the kind of social, monetary, or physical ruin that she was capable of bringing upon them. She stared back for a bit, her eyebrows tilted now as though in an expression of curiosity; there was a brief moment of stunned silence where she was unable to respond. "That's odd, I thought I could have sworn that you said you knew who I am?" she asked again, lowering her eyebrows skeptically. "Lala, I know it must be hard for you here working for Bill and I know it must be every little front-girl's wet fantasy to be in total control of a pharmaceutical executive, but until the world stops paying my company as handsomely as they have been for our top-notch research and products, the entire world is my 'butt slave,'" the president responded, feeling increasingly offended that she was still having to retort. "Your navi has the right idea. You should pay more attention to him," she continued hypocritically, as she wouldn't give Phero the time of day unless the time of day was "time to resume testing for my new wonder drug."

"Cow boobs! Campfire story?!" Dharma thought to herself, gritting her teeth as she did. "One is a gross exaggeration and the other is a gross understating!" These two points weren't anything Dharma planned to address, but they were both making her furious.

"If I wanted to make a big deal out of this, little girl, I would be! I'd have bought something, somebody, or someone, to accomplish my goals here. Is it so hard to believe that I can be an effective controller and a humanitarian?" she chuckled haughtily, although the broader one took the definition of 'humanitarian,' the less it applied to her. "I'm on a mission right now to help someone. Why, I'm being kind to you right now by not describing in absolute clarity what I can do to the medical expenses you accumulate once you reach an age of infirmity! Though, judging by your size, I'd say that's a good ways off," she joked, being more petty than she would be if she was thinking clearly. "At any rate! This doesn't have to be the end of your fun tonight, nor does it have to be the end of you and your poor Bigsy. I'll do the rest of your degrading cow tasks, as is no issue for a woman-of-the-world and humanitarian such as myself, and you simply delete whatever obscene photos you've been taking."

Truth be told, the photos were already a non-issue to Dharma; she'd convinced herself of that earlier, knowing there would indeed be photos, Lala or no. No one would ever really believe it was her in the photos; after all, even a picture of her taken on the deck of her own yacht had been questioned by Ken Broncos earlier. At this point, she just wanted to prove to Lala that being made to degrade herself on Lala's terms wasn't really bothering her... even though, in reality, it absolutely was, causing both embarrassment in the short term and anger in the long term.

Lala listened to Dharma for only a short while, and without much patience. "Oh, yeah, totally! I'm totally wet right now, thinking about how I have gotten to keep on making you my bi-"

"Fa' serious, Lala, why don'cha reign it in a lil'? I dunno dat we wannit escalatin' any more den it it already is, arright?" "Bigsy" tried to interrupt, but Lala kept right on, making it clear he didn't wear the pants in their relationship.

"Like Bill needs your help, you bimbo," Lala said, rolling her eyes. "I can't tell if you're sadistic, masochistic, or just stupid for playing along with this bone-headed idea of his as long as you have. What's your deal, even? Uuuuugh... Anyway, fine. I think we're on the same page now. Bigsy, make any photos you've taken of Dharmy go bye-bye, okay?"

"You got it, boss," the Navi replied. "I hadn't really taken any yet, doe..."

"Seriously? Uuuugh, you dweeb! Glad I wasn't counting on that. Good help is so hard to find these days!" Lala said, giving Dharma a smile. "Mostly just idiots and skanky uptight hoes. But hey! When life gives you lemons, right? If you're willing to keep it up, I'll take what I can get. If you're so eager to keep working for us, why don't you... hmm..." The floor lead frowned, suddenly looking at a loss. It was evident that she'd either lost her train of thought, or else hadn't thought any farther as to what degrading task she should have Dharma perform. "Bigsy, you got anything?"

"Eh?! Who, me? Nada, no way no how! Don't get me involved, arright? I'm just pretendin' I ain't heard nonuvit!"

"Grow a pair, geez! Lemme think... uh... well, for starters, you can get used to your new uniform," Lala said with a mean-spirited smirk, indicating Dharma's current outfit with one hand. "I think our customers will be much more happy with that! For the second thing... hm. Why don't you check on Tammy in the women's bathroom? See if maybe she needs some help cleaning up? Unless maybe that's a little too pedestrian for our sweet lil' humanitawian~?" Lala lapsed back into her singsong voice and child-like smile, evidently preparing to head back out.