Bill N. Clusterbuck's

Dharma screwed up her eyes despite her smile as Connie's navi, PiercingMan, came on screen. She realized she'd been careless; for all she knew, the navi was now keenly aware of her real personality, which was that of an (entirely justified) who believes (knows) herself to be better than everyone else. Hopefully he'd keep that detail quiet, given his personality, which didn't exactly seem like the open, caring type that would rush to inform Connie of such a potential issue with following Dharma's orders. "Limikani? Oh, Connie. I see," she murmured; she honestly wished Connie would go with Limbikani for the rest of the show, though. That would be a much sexier name that all of those pathetic, salivating dogs would latch onto more easily, since it was exotic, like, say, having a sexy show here in the first place. She made the bold decision to introduce her as such, regardless of what she wanted. They needed every edge they could get in this, after all.

The cow-print clad president of a major pharmaceutical company was also glad to hear that music had already been recommended by the sound system navi. She thought she could come up with one or two based on the brief research of all things love-inducing she'd done back during her research days when constructing Phero, but it wouldn't have been easy. Dharma felt more confident that she could manipulate the minds of stupid men than that she could empathize with their choice in erotic music. "So, it sounds like I will be able to see what Connie can see. I don't really want anyone seeing me before the time is right, but it shouldn't matter. No one too much will see me over the small PET screen, unless Connie herself blows up the picture," she mused. "Thank you, PiercingMan. You've done more than enough," she concluded, just in time, as the navi left the screen.

As it turned out, her current position wasn't actually ideal for seeing into the crowd and getting a good idea of the situation. It appeared that Connie had gone to the area Lala had prepared, the bar, and prepared to work, but it also looked like a lot of guys were waiting there. With any luck, Connie could pick her "contestants" out of those and make the game easier on herself, but she couldn't instruct Connie to do so... she didn't want to give out any instructions that made it sound like this wasn't planned through in advance. She did, however, have at least one instruction to get out of the way. In order not to broadcast it over the whole restaurant, she simply used the PET's speaker, rather than pushing the button to talk through the restaurant's. "Please, place the PET upon the edge of the bar and tilt the screen towards the crowd. That ought to make this a bit easier," she instructed Connie, hoping that the volume was just low enough so that Connie would hear it and not a lot of others would.

Hopefully, Dharma's proxy would do that, but even if she didn't, Dharma would continue regardless. This time, she did push the speaker button to start addressing everyone. "Howdy, howdy, you Clusterbucket lovers! I'm your mystery MC for tonight... You can call me... H.P.!" she announced, an uncharacteristic giggle in her voice. The pause would sound like it was for drama, but really, it was just to give Dharma time to think up a good nickname that she would recognize and no one else would associate with the president of Heart-Payne Pharmaceuticals. "H.P. is coming to you with love abundant! At this point, if you will turn your attention over to the bar, you'll meet my very good friend, Limikani! You can call her 'Connie', if you like, that's what I'm going to do. Like me, she's here to ensure that all of you have a fun time tonight! We've got a special game in store for all of you cowpokes. Those fellas by the bar are going to get a special treat tonight. Connie, girl, why don't you wrangle us a couple of volunteers and ask 'em to sit with you? For all of you interested, we're holding a little quiz game tonight! You know how it works: if you're a participant, you just put your hand up when you think you know the answer to the question, which is given by your loving MC H.P., and Connie will point at'cha! Once you know it's your turn to answer, give your response, and if you're right, you'll get a point. Once I'm done asking questions, the winner's going to get a suuuper special reward from Connie and the mystery MC! I won't spoil it, but let's just say you'll want to be sitting down for it~"

On one hand, affecting a sexy-cowgirl-mystery-MC voice was not hard for Dharma. On the other hand, it made her feel a little like throwing up in her mouth, so she wasn't sure how she was going to handle the dance prize later. She'd cross that bridge when she came to it. "How's that sound, fellas? Gimme a big 'yee-haw' and raise those hands, if you wanna volunteer to be part of the game!" At this point, she'd wait and see if 1) Connie proceeded to call out some gentlemen who had their hands raised and 2) whether people were buying in to it to begin with. "Don't be shy! Stick em up, partners, and nobody gets hurt! Unless, that is, you want to be~" she chuckled, letting sadism creep into her voice again.
Connie didn't seem to hear or react to Dharma's voice until she'd nearly finished speaking. That was, perhaps, understandable, given the volume of the people before her. Evidently, though, she had been waiting for a signal, since she did eventually pick up on it and grab the PET, raising it to her face. Assuming Dharma was willing to repeat her request, Connie gave her a nod and placed the PET on the counter. The bartender improvised and found a stand, so Dharma was able to see the tops of some heads and out into the bar beyond. As it had sounded, there were, in fact, quite a few heads to be counted. It looked like a number of waitresses had gathered around to see what the fuss was.

The flipside of the PET arrangement was that Dharma, generally, could no longer see what Connie was up to on the other side of the counter. It did, however, give her a great chance to gauge crowd reaction. Everybody looked pretty excited, but perhaps not as excited as Dharma might hope. Dharma could see a number of familiar faces from the night in the crowd... and a familiar spot of bright, irritating green far in the back.

Once again, Dharma would probably be pleased to see recognition light on only a few faces as she began her speech. Furthermore, in the snatches she could hear of people talking, she got the impression that for those who did recognize, the recognition was primarily from her duties earlier that night, not her alter-ego as a mega-executive. In another good turn, there were plentiful hands raised (and even a smattering of "yee-haws") when the time to volunteer arrived.

Dharma had the impression that at this point, Connie had shooed back the people who were already sitting at the bar, most of whom had taken their drinks with them. That might not have been the most polite way to do it, but it was probably necessary, as the types at the bar had been looking annoyed at the throng gathering around them. The M.C. could see Connie's chest loom over the screen temporarily. She was probably leaning over the counter to pick contestants.

This disturbance continued for long enough that it was fair to assume either Connie was having decision-making problems, or she had made the executive decision to pick more than a "couple," as the M.C. had said. As Connie's rack finally got away from the screen, Dharma could see the latter had been the answer: five barstools were filled ahead of the PET (two were off-screen, but Dharma could tell they were there because the people on them had scooted in to get a closer look at the PET). It looked like Connie had probably not picked them according to any preference. If she had, it was proving to be pretty hard to draw a straight line through what that preference was...

The first was one Dharma might have some feelings about. It was, unmistakenly, the drunk, brown-haired, rock-shirt-wearing patron who had tried to get Dharma to ride him earlier. There was little doubt in her mind that he must recognize her from earlier.

The second was an attractive blonde-haired guy with tan skin, a grey tank top, and a whistle around his neck. Notably, he seemed to be much more interested in Connie across the counter than Dharma on the PET. Dharma could tell he kept trying to make conversation with Connie.

The third, ironically enough, was the woman or man who had been in the backroom applying to be in Connie's position earlier. It was hard to say if that confirmed things either way, but the knee-jerk reaction might be to assume that had meant he was, in fact, a guy. Whatever, was the case, he or she had more-or-less the same starry-eyed look as Dharma had seen him or her in the back room with.

The fourth was an older gentleman in a black-and-yellow Bee-Con T-shirt, with many bags of merchandise slung over his shoulder and a mask that covered the top-half of his face. He seemed rowdy, talkative, and flushed in a way that suggested he was clearly drunk off his butt already.

The fifth was Dave. There wasn't any way of mistaking that. It would be very surprising if he was even capable of participating in a quiz show. He looked content, but not super-excited like the others.

Dharma could tell Connie was making some small talk with the five of them while she waited. The M.C. might take a second to wonder just what criteria Connie had been using to pick her contestants. However, she might be equally interested in continuing quickly, so as not to lose her momentum. Worth noting, she could tell that some people in the back seemed as if they might be losing interest or leaving upon seeing that whatever was happening, they weren't going to be participating... that was only a small fraction of the crowd (and a number of the waitresses that had gathered).
Dharma did, indeed, repeat her request (she hated repeating herself, but her professional position often called for doing so), then smiled as Connie carried out her instructions. "She's got the makings of a model employee... willingness to obey simple commands without complaining and the competence to carry them out without asking questions," Dharma mused, thinking to herself that these two traits were rarer than she'd like. "Ambition is such a foolish concept... There is simply me, the perfect genius, a small tier of other lucky, bright individuals whom I maintain a modest interest in keeping tabs on, and otherwise, pawns, of the good and bad variety. Pawns should simply strive to be the best pawns they can be... and it pleases me to see a pawn act as one should." Additionally, it was good to see that holding the audience's interest was, for the most part, as easy as peppering one's speech with occasional innuendo and frequent cowboy lingo. She'd expected nothing less (or more) from the crowd assembled.

The good mood of M.C. HP soured somewhat as she got a look at the inexplicable collection of folks that Connie had gathered to be the lucky quizees for the night. She already had a relation to 60% of them, which wasn't good, as she hadn't been particularly fond of any of the three she'd met. The drunkard was gross, the man/woman was hard to understand, and Dave was both gross and hard to understand (literally, in the sense of intelligible words). She could see why one might be conventionally attracted to the tan guy, but the old guy with all of the Bee-Con gear was about the worst of the bunch; what on earth had convinced Connie to pick him? She finally decided that Connie's criteria must have been based on who was heckling her the worst to get a spot. Well, being easily swayed by the requests of others was one of the worst parts about being a good pawn, Dharma figured.

Although it appeared she wouldn't hold the interest of the whole crowd with her quiz show, Dharma wasn't overly concerned. After all, for all of her bluffing, Lala had to recognize that the restaraunt was going from no floor-show to having at least something like a floor-show. Dharma was pretty sure that if Lala wanted to punish her, she was going to do it anyways, so for practical purposes, this only needed to be good enough not to draw unwanted attention from Bill or someone who mattered. "Mmm, that's swell! My favorite cowboy's one who's eager to volunteer," M.C. HP cooed, hoping to woo the five of her participants with another frankly disgraceful combo of cowboy talk and innuendo. "Well, I like to know the fellas who I'm bunkin' up with for the night. Their names, at least! Why don't the five of you introduce yourselves? Don't say 'the Man with no Name,' that's a little too cliche." She laughed, then immediately regretted it, thinking that joke might have been a bit highbrow for her current audience. "Try to project your voices a bit, if you can. There's a lotta ornery hombres to talk over out there!"

All the while, Dharma was careful to try to keep the frame of the borrowed PET as high as she could get it, as it would pertain to herself being shown on the monitor of the PET on Connie's side. If she didn't and one of those guys got a good look, not only would the surprise be ruined, but also, they'd probably act even more insufferable than they otherwise would for the whole of the quiz show.
The contestants at the bar stool seemed more than happy to give their names. However, as the drunken, brown-haired young man who Dharma had encountered earlier mouthed his introduction, the M.C. would realize a problem that might make the quiz show fundamentally difficult: while the mic app made Dharma's voice project quite well, the contestants themselves had no microphone. The five were so eager to introduce themselves, however, that they were continuing on, their voices completely indistinguishable over the talk of the crowd. Notably, the gender ambiguous one seemed to be going on and on rather than just giving his name as instructed. Connie finally said something to him that got him to shut up so the other two could introduce themselves.

All five had finished their introductions. It was clear that Connie was telling them something now, but without missing a beat, Connie picked up the PET and brought it to her face. "Will, Buster, Hikaru, Dave, and Phillip. M.C. HP, do you have any suggestions for what I should do about the volume issue? Maybe they should pick up the PET and talk straight to you? Or, hmm... do you have some app I can use on this PET?"

Besides the issue of the volume, Dharma might want to deal with one additional issue: getting a look at Connie's face, it was clear some combination of stress, nervousness, or simply dissatisfaction was getting to her, because her face had fallen back into a scary, determined look. Depending on how much that mattered, Dharma might want to get her bartender's persona back on straight before continuing with the challenge.
Dharma groaned inwardly; of course, it didn't really matter whether the audience knew who the five were from their introductions regardless, but the fact that she'd just assumed that they'd project their voices and they hadn't annoyed her. "I must be losing my edge for event planning... I'm becoming a neanderthal from prolonged exposure to the atmosphere of this convention and the damnable chicken restaurant," she thought to herself, hating that she'd spent as long as she had here, and worse yet, had fallen into all of the traps laid out for her so far.

Also... "Phillip? No way... is that... is that PHILLIP underneath all of that Bee-Con gear? It can't be, the man looks portly! But if it was...?" This was a serious conundrum. On one hand, if that was indeed her Phillip (after all, it was around the time he and the rest of her entourage had been scheduled to be at Bee-Con), she could use that to her advantage and ask questions that he'd know. Once the game finished, the milquetoast would play his part, limiting the embarrassment she had to go through along with Connie by taking it easy on them during the lap dance. On the other hand, it could just be a coincidence. Well, she figured she might as well try some questions he'd know and see if the Phillip answered like hers would, or if he wasn't acting and was indeed some drunk-off-his-butt con-goer.

"Relax, mi amigo!" M.C. HP responded when it became clear that Connie understood the volume issue and had been made to start leering because of it. "Relax!"[/i] she reiterated, trying to make it clear that she wasn't just saying that for the sake of being friendly. "If you press the button on the top right side, it'll darken the screen while maintaining my mic app. That way, ya'll can hear every word I say while maintaining the intrigue of the mystery M.C.! Then, you can move the PET over to whichever fella is going to answer, when it's their turn to answer, and I'll let em know whether they've earned themselves some points or a whole lotta nothin'. I'll use my lovely voice to read the questions and, once you hear their answers, you say them back out to the crowd before I say right or wrong, so they'll know what's happening. Easy enough!"

Really, that had been a tricky logic puzzle, so Dharma was glad she'd found a solution. She wished she'd managed to hear each of the contestants talking about themselves (so she could learn if that was Phillip, who the heck Dave was, and whether Hikaru was a guy or a girl, among other things), but she didn't really need that information in order to continue. Rather, she'd start out inconspicuously, but with a question that would at least let her know whether or not her lead researcher was in the crowd wearing a ridiculous Bee-Con disguise. "Ahem! Let's start a-shootin, fellas! Question one!" she began. She'd use a low-ball, but one that was still high enough for the common folk to have no idea how to answer...

... Or at least, it seemed like a low ball to her. "Let's start with chemistry! Like the chemistry between y'all and your loving MC, right? Hm hm! Here's the question: we all know that oxygen is the most abundant element in the earth's crust, its oceans, and its atmosphere. If we factor in the universe at large, however, beyond our little planet, it's not quite so well represented! The question, therefore, is this: what is the most abundant element in the universe? Think carefully, partners!"
"Oh, uh, yeah. Relax," Connie repeated after Dharma. With some visible effort, she gradually fixed her face first into a bit too bright of a smile, then back into the more natural halfway coy look she'd had earlier. The operator then pressed the button up at the top right, which Dharma could only assume had the intended effect. "Your plan sounds good. Let's go ahead with that."

Connie set the PET back on the bar, giving her a view of the contestants again. The five of them seemed pretty excited to get a chance, even when "chemistry" was revealed as the category, but she saw all of their faces (besides Hikaru) go a bit blank when she began talking about oxygen, the earth's crust, and what not. She saw Phillip nodding along in agreement, his head moving in big, drunken waves.

The two on the left had pretty clearly given up on answering this particular question, probably treating it as a curve ball they'd make up for when the topics moved to something more mainstream. She could see Dave chewing on his lip, and Phillip crossing his arms pensively, in a gesture that would probably be hard thought if he wasn't also sagging lazily to the side of his seat.

Hikaru, on the other hand, looked confident, as though he/she hadn't missed a beat. His/her hand shot into the air almost immediately, and Connie pointed the finger to him/her in response. Connie passed the device over to Hikaru, who held it up towards his/her face regardless of the screen dimmer. Dharma got a closer look at Hikaru's long eyelashes, but the shape of the face and the thinness of the lips still didn't make it one-hundred percent clear what gender she was looking at.

"Love!" the contestant proclaimed loudly and confidently. "Science may tell us differently, but a room full of scientists coated in the armor they restrain themselves with against the precious vibrations of our universe don't have the right to overrule the language that the universe itself is so readily delivers. You and I, being innovators and pure of heart, are well aware of this! Love between all of the creatures of the universe is what flows freely between us and allows us to understand one another."

Stars in his/her eyes, it seemed as though Hikaru was probably going to just continue on and on until he was interrupted. A bit more awkwardly, it was also clear that Connie wasn't taking the PET from him/her. Technically, Dharma hadn't instructed her to do so immediately once the answer was given, but that seemed like something that ought to be a given. Maybe something was distracting her co-host?

"How do you and I know love is the most abundant element in the universe, even moreso than the infantile hydrogen and oxygen of scientists and the petty logic and hatred of so-called philosophers? The fool asks how we know, but the truly wise one asks how we feel!"
Dharma mentally cursed when she realized that the one she was hoping was Phillip was dragging his feet on answering such a simple chemistry question. "That's just like him! Always so slow. Always failing me when I need his assistance the most! Good help is so hard to find these days," she thought to herself. She was beginning to think that making Connie her lead researcher and training her on science might be easier than taking a great scientific researcher and training him to be an effective pawn. She felt especially awkward looking into Hikaru's eager eyes, which were certainly the exact opposite of her own. Dharma so seldom showed any genuine feelings, let alone innocent enthusiasm, that the expression seemed foreign to her. The answer, however, made her throat catch in her voice and her mouth hang open.

The reason for Dharma's reaction was manifold. For one thing, what were the odds that some random Clusterbuck-related individual would be here at this very moment, just as she was, so clearly devoted to the research of 'love' as a concept? This person was either a spy, someone who'd been tailing her for a while with a keen insight as to who she really was, or else a competitor, aware of her identity and looking to exploit her. No wonder he seemed so happy about tonight's proceedings! The other thing that bothered her... was the all-insulting demeaning of pure science (and philosophy) for the promotion of... whatever crazy idea Hikaru was promoting? It was madness, but an almost informed sort of madness... Could Hikaru know something about 'love' that she needed to make a critical breakthrough? Maybe this wasn't an 'enemy,' but rather, someone seeking to share a form of knowledge with her in a clandestine, secretive way. She would have to watch how things developed to know for sure.

Regardless, his answer was clearly wrong. Hydrogen was the most abundant element in the universe, not love. Still, in the interest of not dwelling too long on a wrong answer, she chuckled and continued after the brief pause for thought. "Oh, you're a silly one! Love's important, and M.C. HP will be the first to tell ya that, but hydrogen is indeed the most abundant element in the universe. I'll give you one point for that one, since I can tell you were getting there!" she announced, in a giggling voice that would be endearing if it wasn't burying the point that Hikaru had just tried to make. "Let's see if love is the correct answer to the next question, though! On to number two! Ahem... Connie?" she continued, hoping to snap Connie out of whatever was happening to her. Because she couldn't tell just yet whether that would work or not, she gave a brief pause to allow Connie to catch up, letting the audience know what was going on, before continuing. In the mean time, she'd try to look up another question, hopefully one that Hikaru wouldn't be able to reason out so easily. Not chemistry or biology, something difficult...

"Ah, here we go! Pop culture. The DimensionMan, Starborn, and Bee Rider series all have their fans, but one of these groups recently held a... lingerie fashion show," she briefly coughed, trying to imagine something so ridiculous. "The fashion show capitalized on one of the fandom's fastest growing reader bases, lesbian women, and is often thought to be so due to the influence of the series' creator. Who is the creator of the Starborn series?" she asked, perhaps underestimating the fame of uber-famous comic creator Cornelia Craft in comparison to her own stardom.
Hikaru's reaction to Dharma's statement was undisguised confusion and, perhaps, even a little bit of hurt. However, in an almost childlike way, he/she bounced back to a starry-eyed smile at the knowledge he/she was getting the point. It seemed as though Hikaru had more to say, but Connie had swiped the PET back.

Connie raised the PET to her face again. It looked like she'd kept in mind she needed to be keeping her smile on, but from the haste with which she'd snatched the PET back, it was evident she had something on her mind. "MC, Lala was just here," she spoke in a low voice. "She was asking to take part as a contestant, not for the prize, but to answer questions since she didn't think the contestants were going to be able to get them. I told her you'd be opposed to the idea, though, and she seemed like she was willing to leave when you gave that one to Hikaru... Anyway, just for your information."

With that, Connie turned the PET back around to face the audience. All of the faces of the contestants seemed to brighten when they heard "pop culture" (except Hikaru's, which was on "bright" by default). However, all except those of Hikaru and Phillip immediately fell again when they began to hear it related to comic books. Will grinned and shrugged, saying something disparaging that seemed to get him dirty looks from a lot of the audience gathered behind him.

Phillip's hand was up slightly before Dharma finished her question, so Connie called on him right away. He seemed to take the PET, rather than wait for it to be handed. "Cornelia Craft!" he answered confidently, a wide grin spreading across his face. Unlike Hikaru, he didn't seem to have much chit-chat following, and handed the PET back to Connie without waiting to hear if he was right or wrong.
Connie's revelation that Lala had tried to get involved in the game to screw with Dharma did not surprise the pharmaceuticals mogul, but it did annoy her. She was glad that Lala had decided to go away, but couldn't imagine that the troublesome, green-headed troll had gone off to do anything but find new ways to annoy her. Keeping that in the back of her mind, she refocused her attention on the contestants... just in time to see Phillip's grin. Her face fell a bit and her mood further soured; it was clear to her now that the man in the ridiculous Bee Rider costume was not her lead researcher. She hadn't seen her Phillip grin like that for the whole time she'd known him, and she doubted that something like alcohol could make him do it, since she had seen him drink from time to time.

"You're darn tootin', partner!" Dharma answered. "A point for our well-informed friend here! Maybe he was there for the lingerie fashion show? Just kidding!" she laughed, although she hoped for the sake of her and Connie's possible dance with him in the near-future that he hadn't been. "Let's see who can get our next question: this one is about medicine. As many of you may know, Heart-Payne Pharmaceuticals has recently come out with a line of special headache and pain relief medications that are relatively side-effect free, preferred world-wide due to their positive effects, low cost, and other more discrete factors, such as form appeal and branding. But let's imagine a time, like the Wild West, where cheap, effective medicine like that of Heart Payne Pharmaceuticals is not readily available! In the old days, a particular root was found to be effective in relieving pain, combating nausea, and reducing inflammation. It can be ingested in its raw form, as part of a meal, in tea, or in capsule form. Can anyone identify the root?" Dharma asked.

Unfortunately, after she asked the question, she realized that she had accidentally gone off on her product again, as was a habit of hers. She wouldn't call it a bad habit; it was normally a good habit. In this case, however, it might give some undue hints as to the true identity of the mysterious M.C. HP, which Dharma didn't really want anyone getting wise to, if she could help it. Of course, she figured that perhaps Hikaru was already wise to it, but she hoped not.
Dharma heard the man let out a loud laugh when she joked about him attending the fashion show. It wasn't clear if that meant he had or hadn't been there.

As Connie focused the PET on the contestants again and the MC delivered her next topic, it was clear that the two on the left had more or less checked out. Will was constantly trying to talk to Buster, and Buster was mostly ignoring him and focusing on Connie. Always game even when he/she didn't have the right answer, even Hikaru looked pensive. Phillip looked like he may have suddenly passed out on the counter.

There was a large murmuring of the crowd as anyone tried to come up with any kind of reasonable answer to this question. The MC had probably vastly overestimated the knowledge anyone but the keenly focused on medicine would have on this particular issue.

After a delay, Dave finally raised his hand. Connie passed the PET over to him, and the man raised it to his huge, bearded face. The man breathed heavily for a long time before finally grunting his answer. "... S'marut...?" He didn't sound confident.

At about that time, Dharma heard the door swing open. Lala peeked her vibrant green head in, giving Dharma a winning smile. "Yoo-hoo Dharmy! I was just going to ask, have you given any thought as to how many freaking points one of your lucky contestants has to give before this show finally gets on the road? Not that I don't love you geeking up the restaurant, but you know... I don't, really! Do I need to do something to kick this thing in the butt?"

Lala seemed to be in a bad mood, but Dharma realized her voice was probably a measured volume to be loud enough to be heard, while quiet enough that her nasty personality wasn't projecting all over the restaurant.
Dharma rolled her eyes as she stood alone in the private area, concealed in the dressing room. "It's a lucky thing I'm here in this generation to herald in the future of medicine and its research, or else, these idiots would still be draining their blood with leeches and using smelling salts to improve their humors," the president thought to herself, disgusted with the general ignorance of the crowd. Furthermore, she couldn't even understand Dave's attempt without his translator helping, but it didn't sound right regardless. "No, I'm afraid not! The correct answer was 'Ginger.' Of course, you can't get them all right; variety is the spice of life, as they say," she chuckled, trying to put herself back into a good mood. "No points this time, but don't worry! I'm sure the next one will a-uuuuugh!"

A groan had unconsciously escaped Dharma's throat and been broadcast from across the bar as Lala re-entered the room; whatever traces of a good mood Dharma had just scrambled together fell back to her feet. "Tee hee! Just a moment while I put on my thinkin' cap fellas, to give you all the perfect question that ensures you get the perfect prize she cooed in a sultry voice, before placing one hand over her PET as completely as she could to try to cover wherever the sound was outputting from. Her eyebrows raised and trembled along with a brief twitching of her eyes as she tilted her head back and sneered down at Lala. "Never were much of a 'geek,' I take it? That's probably why you are where you are today, if you really think about it," she taunted, gesturing to the dressing room around her. "But more to the point, do you know how I know that you weren't one much for lessons? Apparently, your mathematics abilities are a bit stunted, much like your height."

She leaned in towards Lala, not close enough to invade her personal space, but perhaps just trying to bring their eyes to the same level. "Tell me: what is one plus one plus one? Three! That's right, three! That's how many godforsaken bloody questions I've asked so far!" she hissed, clenching her teeth as she whispered. "And how many points have I distributed? Two! You want me to end the game with two points? Have you ever even watched a quiz game before? No, that would require reasoning and forming educated thoughts, which I suppose you're altogether averse to!" Her feeling at the moment was much the same as when she heard that a secret had been leaked from her research facility: gross disbelief at the perceived incompetence of those who surrounded her, to the point that it became sizzling hatred that burned at the front of her skull. "Five. I will ask FIVE questions. Hopefully by then this woeful collection of dunderheads has managed to string together two points somewhere so that we'll have a majority we can award the prize. Now leave!"

There had been a brief and awkward silence where only the hushed murmur of voices could be heard. Dharma realized this, noting that she shouldn't have allowed her emotions to get the better of her just now. That had been a mistake for several reasons, not the least of which that it had taken her head out of her game, where it needed to be both for the sake of speaking fluidly and keeping up her character. "Sorry about that, dolls! Let's get on to the next question! It's... Um..." she began, then suddenly realized she hadn't thought up anything at all. She looked from side to side, looking for inspiration. "We'll discuss... c-celebrities! Who can tell me... the... bra size... of the president of Heart Payne Pharmaceuticals?" she asked slowly. Her face froze in a stupid smile as she watched Lala, while she waved with one hand for her to leave, both due to the awkwardness of sharing the space with her while trying to act and the need to scream into the locker at the miserably poor, on-the-fly choice she'd just made. "W-Well, those aren't really public knowledge! There's probably another question I can ask..."
Dave looked depressed that he hadn't gotten the answer right, but not exactly surprised. It was probably more the frustration of being the first one to get a question wrong than anything. Either way, he grumbled under his breath and surrendered the PET to Connie once again.

The entire audience reacted with some visible concern as the MC's usual playful banter turned into what sounded like the groan of a woman trying to pass something particularly painful. In fact, many in the audience were left to ponder exactly that, as the hostess of the show briefly excused herself to deal with her persistent issue of the night. The audience fell to talking amongst themselves, and it seemed Connie would at least pick up the slack in making conversation with the contestants.

"Yes, that would be why I'm a cute and lovable floor lead, and you're a miserable, empty shell of a corporate suit!" Lala replied, keeping her voice low as well and smiling with menace. Her smile fell to a more unmasked expression of distaste, however, when Dharma took a shot at her height. She let Dharma run on uninterrupted, but put her sinister smile back on when she finished. "I never said anything about ending the game show, Dharmy, just hurrying it up! But I wonder if you've ever seen a bar quiz show, before? Oh no, right! That would require having friends, and a life, which I'm certain you're altogether adverse to! Anyway, all I'm telling you is either to spice this up or wrap up early. Give the people something that makes it so they don't wish we were just broadcasting the audio for the sports, instead. All right? I'll get out of your hair, Dharmy."

She began to skip off, but paused long enough to listen to the MC's next question. She looked briefly stunned before she first snorted and then pealed into laughter. "Hahahahaha! That's a good one, Dharmy! See, there you go! More fun questions like this one, please, and you can go on to ten if you want! Atta girl!" Still tittering, Lala exited out of the locker area again.

The audience also seemed to be having a bit of a laugh, although there wasn't anything to indicate that was in response to knowledge of Dharma's identity. All the same, perhaps a bit more disturbingly, Buster's hand had shot up immediately in response to the question.

With a pause, Connie handed the PET to Buster, who raised it to his tanned face. "She's a C, right, HP? I've seen that one in some magazines. Pretty hot, although she looks like kind of a tight-*ss... Anyway, speaking of tight *sses!" the guy continued, either not knowing or caring that his lewd comments were still carrying over the microphone as he decided to strike back up his conversation with Connie across the bar.
Dharma thought to herself that her shell and suit were significantly better filled than Lala's, in at least one important way, but she declined saying anything as there was no further time. She shooed Lala off with several flicks of her hand, which became more urgent as the little floor lead began laughing at her for her ill-considered question. Right now, she was also more than a little disturbed that Buster was so ready to answer a personal question about her bust size. After some hesitation (that Connie probably wouldn't appreciate, given that Buster's attention was on her when it was not on Dharma), M.C. HP gave an answer. "That's correct! I could further drill you on the measurements, but you're close enough," she coughed, without revealing what the specific measurements actually were. "And I'm sure if she's a 'tight-ass' about things, it's only to ensure that her subordinates are doing their best work and that the company thrives around her," Dharma added... then slowly realized that she needed to make that into a joke, to avoid awkwardness. "A-As for, ahem, the other qualities of her ass, I'm sure that has nothing to do with inspiring her employees. Some women are just blessed with 'tight asses.'"

This was getting painful fast, so Dharma was more than happy to wrap it up with one more question. "Next is question number five! At this point, I will introduce a new rule: we are going to play to first-to-two-points. Right now, the following three contestants have one point each: Buster, Hikaru, and Philip each have one. If they answer one more question correctly, they will win the graaand prize! Alternatively, Will and Dave can still get back into the game! Answering this next question will be of paramount importance, if they wish to ride off into the sunset... or be ridden, if that's their preference! Hm hm hm! Everyone excited, now? Let's go on to the question."

Dharma wasn't about to ask if the group could guess her hip measurements as well and thus tried to think quickly of something less personally embarrassing to ask about. "This next question is about pain, which as we all know, goes hand in hand with pleasure," she continued. "The Verbal Numerical Pain Scale, or VNPS, runs from 0 to 10: an 11 point scale. At which number is an individual recognized as being unable to preform Activities of Daily Living?" Dharma asked, having an interest in the subject of pain herself, as one who enjoyed causing it and as one who, hypocritically, was supposed to treat it. Hopefully, one of the bozos would get it through guessing, even if nobody really knew it.
"I mean, daaaamn, girl, how do you even fit in those-" Buster continued on the mike. Connie snatched the PET from him before he could continue, regardless of the fact that there was still a few seconds pause before the MC announced whether or not the contestant had correctly guessed. From the motion, Dharma could almost feel Connie's agitation through the PET.

The audience gave a studio audience laugh in response to all of Dharma's comments about her employee's work ethics and her own butt. It might surprise Dharma at this point to see that, somehow, people either still didn't know or weren't making a big deal out of the fact that she was Dharma Heart Payne of Heart Payne Pharmaceuticals. The certainly were making a big deal out of the first to two rule, which could be taken as a good sign. It seemed implementing that sort of sudden death rule was firing the audience up again.

The contestants were clearly in the dark again when it came to Dharma's question, but it also looked as though they would try to make guesses, regardless. All five of them must have known that the number of passes they could afford to make had just dwindled significantly. As such, a lack of shame at a bad guess would be paramount, and as the MC might have predicted, there was one audience member for whom making dumb and impulsive remarks was actually worn as a badge of prize.

A number of hands shot up, but it was indeed Will who Connie judged to be the fastest. She passed the PET over to him, where he raised it to his face to try and make a guess. "It's 7, right?! It's gotta be! Seven is like... seven's the one that feels big, but like, not too big. The safe guess, like less than that is, uh... failing a test! So it's 7, isn't it?"

Suddenly, a pair of hands shot out and grabbed Will's collar, shaking him by the scruff of his neck. "You lil' snot! That was my question, my hand was up centuries before yours! Lightyears! You didn't even know it, just guessin'!" The pair of hands hadn't made it obvious, but the voice did: it seemed as though Phillip had suddenly jumped up from across the bar to tangle for what he felt was his winning point.

Coming to Will's rescue, Connie's arms shot across the bar and shoved the two apart. Dharma could overhear her saying some stern words to the bee-masked contestants, but couldn't make them out. When Connie had finished, the PET was back in place, showing the contestants from a visibly shaken Will to a Phillip who seemed to have lost all of his fire, collapsed on the counter. Hikaru was rambling on about something, Buster was trying to ramble on about something to Connie, and Dave... looked pretty nonplussed. Dave was an outlier, though: there seemed to be a lot of discussion going on among the crowd now.

Connie raised the PET to her face again, obviously struggling to find her already-difficult smile again. "So, uh, M.C... back on topic! Did Will get that one?!" It wouldn't be displaying on any monitors, but Connie was making a point to mouth something to Dharma where none of the others would see. She flicked her eyes towards Phillip, mouthing something that could reasonably be interpreted as "no science questions."
If Dharma wasn't utterly certain by this point that the Phillip at the bar was not her Phillip, seeing him strangle another man would cement the fact; she wasn't sure she'd ever seen Phillip make a fist except to cough into it in one of his chronic, breathless fits he seemed to struggle with. "Ahem! Good enthusiasm, but new rule: anyone who attacks anyone else here in Clusterbuck's from here on will be automatically disqualified! Consider me and Connie here your sheriffs; we're going to lay the law down on anyone who breaks the rules!" she warned, playfully. She wasn't particularly upset at what had happened, but did find it profoundly stupid (like many things in this place) and wanted to prevent it from happening again if possible. "Now, Will got the question right, and he gets the point! After all, it's the law of the west: fastest gun wins! With this, we've got four contenders with one point each."

Connie seemed to share her opinion of not wanting to see that happen again, but more strongly, perhaps because she was out on the floor with the others. Her eyes clearly showed that she didn't want Phillip winning the contest; Dharma was inclined to agree. The man had been pretty pathetic just being a grown man in the mask of a kiddie superhero, but was even worse being a drunken sore loser in said mask. Dharma also received Connie's lip-speak, as it was hard to interpret the message as anything else. That said, what did it mean? "I'm almost offended that she thinks that one of these jokers is science-savvy, given their answers thus far... just as I am upset that she thinks you can roll any type of question up into the broad category of 'science,'" Dharma thought to herself, feeling irked.

The time of reckoning was close at hand; statistically, this was overwhelmingly likely to be the final question of the night. The trouble was that she had to distance it from science, which really meant distancing it from anything practical or intelligent. That may have been a blessing in disguise; after all, the audience seemed to dislike intelligent questions and prefer stupid ones. Unfortunately, Dharma only had one bra size to ask everyone about, and she'd used that question up. "Stupid things, stupid things... what is something stupid that I can ask about..." she mused, crossing both arms while slowly massaging the upper arms with her fingers. "Alright! Hang on to your hats, cowpokes! This next one could be for the farm!"

Dharma took a deep breath, recalling all of the stupidest things she could recall hearing in recent memory. "Agnis Agnu... the criminal who got kicked in his genitals by a civilian while carrying out a mind-control plot with sophisticated machinery... Anything Agnis ever does... Faith in a higher being beyond man... Playing the lottery..." she speculated, finding an abundant pool of stupid things in the world to pull from, all stored in the reaches of her memory where she'd tried and failed to shove such things out of her brain. "Oh, that's right. I've got it now."

Straightening up and preparing herself, Dharma uttered what was very likely to be the last question. "We'll do this one a little differently. Each of you, starting from the left and working to the right, will have a chance to answer. No winners will be revealed until the game is concluded," she announced, hoping this would curb Phillip's fury somewhat. "If more than one player reaches two points, we'll hold a tie-breaker. If nobody guesses correctly, I'll go with whichever answer is closest. So... here we go. Sexual fantasy, or erotic fantasy, is the summoning of a mental image to provide sexual pleasure. I'm sure you're all very familiar with that concept; some of you may have already done a little fantasizing tonight yourselves! At any rate, as best as you are able... try to guess the sexual fantasy of one M.C. HP, your gracious host for the night," she finished. Of course, this was a trick question: Dharma felt pretty certain she had no real sexual fantasy. Those were the sorts of things unimportant rubes with a lot of free time wasted their time on; it was part of what made them peons and not kings or queens in this world. Still, she felt as though she could pick whichever answer she liked the most without debasing herself too hard. "It's not really a quiz, but it's still fun, right? Since, you know... after you guess mine, maybe I'll try to guess yours..."
Phillip only gave a response like a grunt or a snore in response to the MC's mandated nonviolence. Will celebrated his point. Everyone else continued more or less as regular, which meant Hikaru was still rambling about whatever topic it was had gotten he or she riled up. The fight had gotten the audience a bit rowdy, and they were all chattering amongst themselves until Dharma finally got around to issuing what she must be either hoping or dreading was her final question.

In any case, her question was a hit with the audience, getting them all focused and moving the contestants to the edges of their seats (excluding Phillip, who it was seeming more and more likely may have actually passed out). Once Dharma had set up her question, Connie handed the PET towards Will. "What's your guess, sugah?"

Will seemed to be thinking for not longer than a second before he blurted out his response. "Anal!"

A round of rowdy laughter echoed from the audience around him, causing him to frown. "Seriously?" Buster's voice could be heard from offscreen. "You've only got one guess, dude. Are you really gonna go with that?"

"Well, yeah!" Will defended, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I mean, what, you think it's that unlikely?"

Connie had, at that point, turned her PET to face Buster, who was shaking his head and smirking. He didn't give Will a response, but went ahead with his guess. "I'm gonna guess it's something more like... she has a particular guy she fancies, or a movie star she's hot for! Just the second, if that counts as two guesses otherwise. So, yeah, she just pictures doing it with that guy."

Connie turned the PET to Hikaru, who seemed to have finally paused only to start up on this new course of exposition. "My insight tells me MC HP's sexual fantasy is communal love! For an open-minded and globally aware individual such as either of us, there can be no other answer. For people to embrace one another... love one another... and yes, even fornicate with another! Free love," Hikaru finished, making his or her stance on this more clear than usual, and looking a bit genuinely sexually excited for the first time Dharma had seen.

Hikaru would have continued (for all Dharma knew, he or she might still be doing so), but Connie moved the PET to Dave. The big man scratched the back of his head before starting. "A'fagar n'tgada fanshy. A'get dampreshen yormurnave ah buttsex shulmattarsen y'leddan n'yarntax shoolycay pabblov soul edifying yafats."

Without further commentary, Connie moved the PET over to Phillip, who remained facedown for another solid ten seconds. It looked like Connie's hand may be moving forward to try poking him, when he suddenly raised his sleepy head from the counter. "Beerider! You got sexual Beerider fantasies, don't ya? I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure all dudes have sexual fantasies about Princess Sunflower, and all ladies have fantasies about the young Beerider himself." A murmur started up in the background which sounded like light booing.

Connie faced the screen again with a serious face. Knowing her a bit now, Dharma could picture she was trying to stifle a laugh. "There's your answers, MC... did any of our contestants manage to figure it out?"
Dharma's question had backfired and each suggestion from the group brought additional color to her face as her rage built. The mere suggestion that she could be into any of these things was offensive. As though the CEO of Heart Payne Pharmaceuticals enjoyed taking it up the butt, cared about some celebrity, wanted to bring in a bunch of strangers, wanted... whatever Dave had said... seemingly something else about butt-sex, or, worst, to somehow involve a children's cartoon character! "Utterly revolting... Well, I will simply have to go with the least grotesque of the suggestions," she resolved. "And while I'm at it, I'll end this miserable quiz game as well."

M.C. HP clapped loudly enough for everyone to hear. "Congratulations! We have our winner! The point for this question goes to Hikaru!" she announced. "I don't know about anything fancy like 'communal love,' but I have been itching to give you some two-on-one action, with me and the lovely Limikani here! The rest of you, don't worry: the viewing is on-the-house~" she cooed, hoping to placate the undoubtedly ornery and horn-ery, pissed off losers who had done so poorly at her quiz contest. "Without further adieu, it's time for M.C. HP to make her appearance and saddle up with our lucky winner!"

Feeling a lot less bubbly than she sounded, Dharma took a deep breath and worked on putting her sexiest, happiest smile on her face (her research on love had at least given her some good material to work with). As always, her eyebrows adopted the sympathetic-seeming upturn they often had, as though looking on someone wounded or in a sad state. That was unconscious and she probably didn't actually realize she was doing it. Armed with only her confidence, a brief study on lap-dancing which her prodigious mind had hopefully quickly absorbed the art of, and her cow-print sling bikini, Dharma flung open the door and pressed the button that PiercingMan had indicated would start their music.

As she strutted out, hopefully, many eyes would be on her; otherwise, her entrance would mostly fail. She raised her arms and flaunted her hips as she walked, her pale skin becoming a bit red in spite of herself. She reminded herself, once again, that what she wore now wasn't much worse than what she'd worn on her cruise ship... only, there, most of the audience were employees of hers that knew their place. Here, on the other hand, she was dealing with a bunch of drunken half-wits with no moderation or self-control, all who likely viewed her as a piece of meat, and probably not nearly as precious of one as she knew she was. How would her raw charisma affect them? It would be interesting to see, but at the same time, Dharma would just as easily end it or withdraw if it didn't mean losing to Lala. She couldn't back out now.

She did a small twirl, again to show off, then pushed her arms out in opposite directions to indicate parting. "Sorry, hombres! Those of you who aren't winners for tonight, please move to the other side of the bar so that I can give the lucky contestant the presidential treatment!" she laughed, although beads of sweat had already begun to form on her forehead. As soon as the words had left her mouth, she realized that she'd just made a pharmaceutical company president innuendo instead of a cowboy one. "How about it, Hikaru? Do you think you can handle a little two on one?" She stopped nearby the as yet unidentified girl or boy, posing coquettishly by running her fingers along the thin shoulder straps of her outfit. In truth, she'd need to be certain that the two did this carefully, at least in the sense of keeping Hikaru comfortable while they worked. Dharma sort of thought she might be heavier than Hikaru, but Connie was undoubtedly very much so; the two together could make things very painful if they both tried to sit in their guest's lap at once.

Dharma motioned briefly with her eyes for Connie to start, looking between her and the counter top, as if to say "hop on." At this point, hopefully, the other contestants had left their seats and moved as she'd requested, or otherwise, Connie had escorted them herself. There could be no continuing until the space was clear.
Hikaru burst into clapping at the announcement of his or her victory. Dharma could see a number of confused spectators begin clapping along... it didn't really seem like a moment that called for applause, but clapping was a contagious gesture. The others at the table, of course, were less thrilled. Will, in particular, seemed devastated, not as much because he didn't guess correctly as at the suggestion that the MC personally fancied Hikaru over him. Buster and Dave both seemed more complacent: in all likelihood, they were quite willing to settle for watching the show than being a part of it.

Only Phillip was raising an actual stink. The MC could see the unlikable contestant ranting and raving about how things had been rigged, how she was lying, and etc. etc. until two strong-looking women in cowgirl outfits appeared. Each wrapped their arms under one of his armpits, and they dragged him away from his bar seat physically. They were reasonably attractive women, so all things considered, it could have been worse for him.

Of course, Dharma would soon be in a position to see that herself. When she opened the doors, the inappropriately miserable Phillip had been pushed to the staircase, which was being roped off. It would be reasonable for Dharma to consider Connie might have orchestrated this, or perhaps Lala, in a rare feat of managerial prowess. Moreso than anything else that appeared to normally go on around the bar, having kids wander their way up here in the middle of what Dharma was about to be doing would be quite unfortunate.

Regardless, Phillip's fate was the least of Dharma's worries. As soon as she hit the music, she might be in for an immediate jolt to her composure. Whoever had chosen the music had evidently chosen a classically dirty rap song. The lyrics hadn't started properly yet, but the volume was loud, the subwoofers were blaring out above the bar, and the vocalist had already started speaking scattered lines littered with questionably flattering lines about some woman. The loud beat seemed to defy concentration, although Dharma most likely wouldn't have any interest in the lyrics.

Connie had apparently realized Dharma was making her way out, and had made some effort to draw the audience's attention to her. As such, all eyes were on the executive as she made her way to the bar. As the music truly demanded the attention of the entire floor, Dharma would recognize that the crowd had grown even larger than it had been during the onset of the quiz game.

The situation pretty obviously called for the lucky winner to sit back and enjoy the show, but nonetheless, Hikaru was running on and on, shouting so his or her voice could be heard over the booming music. "I am most honored to have won this rare opportunity! Truthfully, I am inexperienced in the receipt of such a generous prize! I'll be looking forward to what the two of you-"

Seeing that she was being called upon to act by Dharma's eye language, Connie took that moment to put a finger to Hikaru's lips. The gesture, clearly intended to quiet the chatty winner, eventually worked, and Connie (a bit tentatively) climbed onto the counter. Whether through intention or by necessity, she remained on her hands and knees as she mounted the countertop. Dharma might, at this point, be noticing the somewhat considerable cantilever of the countertop past its supports, and the lack of any secondary supports... then again, she might have other things on her mind.

Connie slinked her way across the countertop over towards Hikaru like a cat, keeping her practiced smile on as she did so. She could tell that the employee was focusing intensely to keep her composure. Her own face was a bit red, and a discerning eye would occasionally catch a nervous twitch of a face muscle as she worked to keep her expression together.

The song was clearly getting ready to break into the rap proper. Bravely, Connie rose to her feet, an action which would see her towering over their winner. Alarmingly, her head very nearly reached the facade above the counter. The difference in her height and that of their winner would actually put Hikaru's eyes at the back of Connie's legs, forcing him to crane his head upwards to actually see most of what she was offering.

As the music kicked it up, Connie began offering. Keeping one hand behind her head to cradle her cowboy hat to her hair, the would-be dancer rolled her hips with impressive rhythm and skill. She bent her knees and brought her hips lower as she did, cranking down lower until her behind was closer to Hikaru's eye level. Still facing away, her eyebrows hidden but arched in a glare of intensity, the woman matched her movements in good time with the rap. It was hard to believe she claimed not to have any experience.

Dharma might notice that Connie hadn't taken anything off at this point, as per their original plan. She wasn't making any gestures that indicated she was planning to...

Then again, she might not need to. Hikaru was looking on with what could only be described as childlike wonder, seeming entranced enough by the show as offered. However, it appeared Hikaru wasn't just going to sit patiently forever. "How exciting! I have a feeling I'm gathering a rare experience here. How would I continue on my personal journey if I didn't take full advantage of it?" With that rhetorical question posed, Hikaru reached into his or her jacket and withdrew a wallet. From the wallet, the patron produced what Dharma would most likely recognize as a small handful of bills. Enthusiastically, he or she leaned forward and stuffed the wad into the left side of Connie's shorts. From Dharma's viewpoint, it looked very much like he'd actually reached beneath the band of underclothes. The audience hadn't been expecting this, evidently, and gave a smattering of "ooohs" and cheers.

Connie herself evidently hadn't been expecting this, either, as her motion stopped with an abrupt jerk. Shakily finding her place in the dance again, Connie resumed her motion, but glanced at Dharma a bit to obviously, with a frustrated expression that clearly asked, "What now?"
Dharma was more than happy to let the women suited for the job be the ones to remove Phillip from the bar. She thought she could probably do it herself, but that would require finding a good moment to whisper some discreet threats, and besides... she'd found that her threats were surprisingly weak against those lacking the impulse to rationally respond to them. Phillip might not have the intelligence to respond correctly to her words, even if he wasn't drunk out of his gourd, considering he'd chosen to show himself in public dressed in an ill-fitting super hero costume. She also reflected that it was good that the upstairs was being roped off, as that would discourage guests from leaving (ensuring a greater satisfaction rate and show of enthusiasm for her performance, thus securing a reward from Bill) while also ensuring minors didn't end up upstairs. Dharma rarely gave a thought to the well-being of the younger generation, since most of them would grow up to be as foolish as their fathers, but even she had to admit this really wasn't something she wanted children seeing. Or anyone, really...

If that was the case, Dharma questioned, why didn't she simply make it so? "To prove to that green-headed ninny that I can, of course," she reminded herself... but even as she did, she felt the heat of many stares against her flesh and a shiver ran up her spine. Commanding the attention of an entire room... it wasn't so different from her ordinary role, actually. Her body, she reasoned, was just as perfect a tool as any other one in her arsenal... she'd never thought about it that way before, but now that it occurred to her, why shouldn't she? A sense of pride had begun to swell up inside of her even as she degraded herself; the smile on her face was becoming more real, although even she was unaware of it.

Once the music started, however, the smile nearly left her face, but she picked it up like a football player, holding tight to her prize even as it threatened to tumble from her grasp. Most music was offensive to Dharma, but this one was especially so. Worse, it seemed to be applying a lot of adjectives and descriptors that fit Connie pretty well but didn't fit her at all. Her body was perfect, she realized that now, but her "booty" couldn't be described as "thick," no matter how many times the song insisted it. Thankfully, Dharma was used to working under harsh conditions and soldiered on. She'd been thinking of some flirtatious lines to use as M.C. HP dishing out the promised reward, but now, it seemed irrelevant; no one would be able to hear what she said regardless.

She found herself shuddering again as she watched Connie act for Hikaru's amusement, silencing her with a sexy gesture and continuing with yet sexier gestures. Dharma couldn't help but appreciate the skill of Connie's impromptu dance. "Hm hm! A worthy pawn," she internally praised, finding herself momentarily absorbed watching the gyration of the girl's considerable hips. There was definitely an energy to this whole environment that she'd never experienced before; it was a similar buzz to rolling out a new product line at a press conference or breaking ground at a new facility... the feeling of presenting something new and exciting to a crowd that could not possibly be prepared to experience it.... or even to appreciate it fully, for that matter, but very eager to buy into it. The electricity in the air fostered a sort of animal excitement, the subjects and the entertainers both unable to break free of one another. "I'd dismissed lust as an unfortunate side effect of love... but this sudden burst of enthusiasm I feel... This could be something akin to love, but in a quick, marketable format! It's worthy of study..." Dharma noted to herself excitedly, mistaking a flight of exhibitionism for the most pure of human emotions.

Her smile only widened as Hikaru took advantage of the strip-club-like setting to do something strip-club-like, encouraging her dancer with a wad of dosh. That was just the reaction she wanted, both from Hikaru and from the audience. The only question was whether she'd actually be able to contribute to the dance, which needed to be done quickly, before she started to look like awkward or like a third wheel. Dharma's beaming face turned to Connie and she cryptically nodded, a gesture that meant approval and also "continue." Offering no refuge but instead complicating matters for her valuable new pawn, Dharma sat her shapely, 98% bare caboose onto the counter and crossed her legs, putting her hands onto her knees and leaning forward so that her cleavage was pushed together between her arms, with her face just to the side of her ally's bottom. She was very careful not to put her full weight on the counter, however, as she had a pretty good idea that the whole thing could fall or tilt over if she upset the balance. "We value your patronage~" Dharma insisted, wrapping one hand about the meaty thigh of Limbikani and allowing her fingers to creep up to her waist. Dharma used her other hand to hold the dancer's other leg steady, as falling would be truly unfortunate for the continued consideration of their show.

Connie would continue to be "closely managed" by her boss for the night, possibly leading her to question whether she actually wanted Lala or Dharma on this. The CEO turned stripper, keeping hold of Connie's legs, attempted to match the girl's timing, moving her shoulders along with the music. While doing so, she rose from her seated position, extending one leg out and keeping the other against the floor. She turned (trying to be careful not to yank Connie off of her feet) and put the lifted leg across Hikaru's lap, so that her thigh rested upon the guy/girl's pants. With an impish smile, she used her hands, still occupied with her co-worker's lower body, to slowly try and slide down on her buttocks, moving them down in timed, tantalizing, diagonal motions... if Connie allowed her to. If she didn't, this was just going to be super awkward and Dharma would probably have to apologize and admit she'd gotten a bit caught up in the moment. On the bright side, if Hikaru really had put the money into the underwear, doing this wouldn't cause it to fall out! Getting the shorts off probably wouldn't be possible, given that Connie was likely still bowing her legs.

Hikaru would hopefully be content with Connie's surprisingly hypnotic butt in her face, Dharma's leg in his/her lap, and the rest of the president's mostly naked, perfumed body in such close proximity. Of course, they'd only just started, and bizarrely, Dharma didn't particularly feel like stopping. "When life gives you lemons," she thought to herself, although she hardly needed to cheer herself up at this point. Her eyes turned to Will, off to the side, and her tongue briefly extended from her curled lips. It was an expression that openly mocked him for not being the one in the winner's seat.
Connie caught Dharma's nod and gave a small one in return, gulping and stiffening her upper lip. It looked like reinforcing what was expected did the trick with Connie... although, what exactly Dharma was reinforcing, she may or may not be fully aware of. Regardless, the dancer took the opportunity to fold her other hand behind her head as well, now facing away from Hikaru completely as she sent her lower body into a far more enthusiastic set of jerks. Hikaru smiled and clapped inappropriately as beads of sweat flew from Connie's dark back and thighs, and onto the body of the young, gender-ambiguous patron.

Dharma, meanwhile, had begun an advance of her own. Hikaru began giving her attention as well as she moved in, but (interestingly) seemed to be withholding comment for the moment.

Connie, for her part, notably flinched as Dharma laid hands on her. Dharma thought she could hear the bartender's breath hitch momentarily. She kept up her dance, but dialed it back to a slow roll again. Probably, she had realized what Dharma was attempting to do, and realized it wasn't going to work if she was moving her body like a piece of active machinery. Still, whether intentionally or not, her pose, together with the tightness of her outfit, kept Dharma from doing much other than copping a feel of the other woman's generous denim-clad backside while just barely revealing her panty line. The audience reaction to this was very good, though, as a number of wolf whistles and even cheers for the mysterious "MC HP" resounded.

For their parts, most of the non-participating patrons seemed satisfied. Buster was happy getting an eyeful of Connie, and Dave seemed content in an old-man sort of way that made it impossible to imagine him receiving the dance in the first place. Will was the only seeming malcontent, crossing his arms as he watched. He realized a moment too late that Dharma was trying to catch his eyes (she was, indeed, the one he was keeping his eyes on) and cast them away as soon she did, losing that particular game of chicken.

Dharma might be more interested in what she was currently learning about Hikaru, however. Her leg moved across the area of Hikaru's body that ought to solve so many mysteries for the pharmaceutical executive... instead, it only raised more questions. Dharma couldn't be certain, but she thought she was most definitely feeling something harder than regular flesh below the pants, and not a protrusion. If Dharma was familiar with it, a chastity belt might be the only thing that came to mind... but Hikaru was wearing relatively slim pants. Wouldn't that show through? Hikaru continued giving Dharma his or her (or its?) vacant smile, as if in defiance of the mystery.

So distracted, Dharma may or not notice Connie abruptly coming to the stop. Evidently, the employee was taking further initiative in their act, which would soon begin involving her manager directly. Connie had turned around to hook her arms under Dharma's, lifting the other woman up to the counter. She put her hand in Dharma's hair and drew in close, as though performing some intimate action. In reality, she gave Dharma a whisper: "I'll be back," she said, briefly and only barely audible, before she began walking in the other direction. That was probably a good thing: Dharma could actually feel the counter shaking with the large woman's steps, and having the weight concentrated there seemed like it could actually be dangerous. If Dharma watched she would see Connie strutting her stuff for the rest of the audience at large. Taking a deep breath that was, again, a bit too obvious, the woman reached down, undoing the clasp of her belt. She then turned around, hooking her thumbs into the bottom of her shorts, and began sliding them down as she held her legs together, swishing her hips from side to side as she did so. Her purple undergarment thus revealed, she looked back with an awkward smile that would probably look menacing under other circumstances.

Meanwhile, Dharma had been left alone with the mysterious Hikaru, who was not taking his or her time and waiting patiently. He had (or she had) already put his or her hands on the legs of the would-be dancer. Hikaru's bright eyes lit up, seeming amazed with her smooth skin. "Your natural form is quite impressive, Miss HP! Please, demonstrate your technical prowess as well!"