Simple Life

????: *HIGH FIVE!*
Prepare your +20 Great Plunger of Garuda and begin an epic battle for bathroom dominance

Quote (Shuryou)

????: *HIGH FIVE!*

(Oh man I chuckled)

???: Take a moment of thought to reflect on what combat prowess you possess
PAUSE
OBSERVE SELF
OBSERVE INVENTORY
OBSERVE EQUIPMENT
OBSERVE ABILITIES
LOOK SELF
LOOK POCKETS
LOOK SKILLS
ME
*plays guess the word*

EDIT: (if inventory is unavailable)
RUN AWAY

Quote ()

[Summon Avatar to fight in your place. Ability activated due to extreme stress and shock]

You don't know what this "SUMMONING" is, but it sounds like a load of bullshit to you. Maybe you should BELIEVE first.

Quote ()

Prepare your +20 Great Plunger of Garuda and begin an epic battle for bathroom dominance

Wielding the GREAT PLUNGER OF GARUDA +20 requires a rank of A in WEAPON HANDLING: MELEE, which you don't even know yet.

Quote ()

????: *HIGH FIVE!*

The Physical Skill HIGH-FIVE is available only to those with enough in their AWESOME stat. Your AWESOME stat is hidden, but you somehow know that it's way too low for this action.

Quote ()

???: Take a moment of thought to reflect on what combat prowess you possess


You disregard all these stray thoughts and pause for a moment to access your STATUSVENTORIUM.

[PAUSE]





From the STATUSVENTORIUM, you immediately head to the STATUS screen, and access your statistics.



From here, you can see that you are of a Rank F Undefined class, your Health Points are 100, your Action Points are nil. You are of level 1, and you are devoid of Experience Points. Your Offense and Defense in a Physical perspective are of rank D and E respectively. Your Agility is D, your Resistance is C, and your Recovery is D. You are of skill level F in Physical Skills, which means you have no skills at all.



Your inventory is decidedly empty.



Your equipment is spartan. You decide to examine your white shirt for kicks, but you'd rather not do the same for your pants. Understandable, since not many people see giant morbid hands of death spring out of their toilet bowls very often.
[Run and tell parents]
Grab the nearest weapon and fight the giant hand to the death.
???: Whip out a scissor from the kitchen and defeat the hand.
RUN to ROOM to REPLACE PANTS (don't want to embarrass self in front of parents)
then
RUN to PARENT'S ROOM
????: Toss the pants at the monster, then look for a pair of sunglasses as fast as possible to increase your AWESOME stat.