Grim's Guide for Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse

So, it looks like you're trying to survive a zombie apocalypse! Want me to help? No? TOO BAD.

This guide consists of several parts:
1. Zombie? What's that?
2. Okay... How do I stop them?
3. Cool. What should I use to frag these chumps?

1. Zombie? What's that?
I'm glad you asked, Timmy! A zombie (AKA the undead, walking dead, dead guys, stiffs, brain addicts, target practice) is a human or animal that has seemingly died, but continues to move around and seem to be controlled by a very archaic or simple brain. Zombies can be created through a variety of ways, such as curses, bacteria, viruses, parasites, or radiation. Now, the most important thing you should know about a zombie is its capability to spread the very thing that made it a zombie in the first place. So, zombies have a surprising ability increase their numbers at an alarming rate.

2. Okay, How do I stop them?
Zombies may or may not have the ability to feel pain, and can often sustain significantly more damage and trauma than a normal human being, but their actions are still controlled by a brain. The best way to incapacitate or "kill" a zombie is to cease brain function or sever the brain from the rest of its body. However, if this tactic fails, the second best thing is to hinder/eliminate their processes of locomotion. A zombie crawling like an inch worm is much easier to get rid of than a stumbling/running one.

3. Cool. What should I use to frag these chumps?
Weapons. Using your bare hands is a no-no, since you likely can't punch their heads off, and zombies often spread from close contact (exposure of corrupted tissue/fluids to open wounds through biting, spitting, etc.). Here are a list of weapons, and their pros/cons:

Firearms: (pistols, rifles, shotguns, machine guns)
Pros: Very effective in larger calibers, capable of dispatching zombies at range at a high rate of speed
Cons: Sometimes ineffective at smaller calibers, requires ammo and knowledge of its use. May alert other zombies with sound

Projectile Weapons: (bows, spear guns, slingshots)
Pros: Quiet, ability to re-use ammunition, light weight
Cons: Not as powerful, limited ammunition, some require strength and dexterity to use

Blunt Objects: (debris, bats, poles, staffs, clubs)
Pros: Simple use (smack, smack, repeat), easy to wield, no need to reload
Cons: Effectiveness is directly related to strength and skill of user (you may just give it a black eye and a headache, at most), often requires multiple strikes to dispatch zombie

Sharp Objects: (Spears, blades, spikes, chainsaws)
Pros: Can be effectively used to immobilize or slay zombies with ease at close range, no need to reload
Cons: Weight, unwieldy in tight spaces, puts you in danger zone for infection, fuel limits

Vehicles: (Cars, trucks, motorcycles, helicopters, boats)
Pros: Living quarters, protective cage, and zombie-crushing battering ram all rolled into 1! Devastating to most zombies, capable of carrying other survivors and supplies
Cons: Fuel (being in a dead car = dead you), Terrain (recommend using sand/gravel to navigate on slippery, body-laden roads), size (your semi probably won't fit in your fallout shelter)

Explosives: (TNT, Hand Grenades, mines, C4, Molotov Cocktails, Nitro)
Pros: Capable of killing multiple zombies at once at range, good use for traps, capable of changing terrain (cave in possible zombie routes, create escape routes, etc.)
Cons: Sometimes difficult to find/use, high danger involved if your fellow survivors are morons, one time usage

((Work In Progress))
World War Z
Zombie Survival Guide
(by Max Brooks)

Quote (The_Grim_Reaper)

Projectile Weapons: (bows, spear guns, slingshots)
Pros:  Quiet, ability to re-use ammunition, light weight
Cons:  Not as powerful, limited ammunition, some require strength and dexterity to use
these at close range, no need to reload

hehehe... oops
Try to accept the situation as soon as possible. Though you may think zombies isn't real, they are real enough to be hungry for your flesh and brains. Quicker you accept your situation, quicker you can fortify your self from the undeads by: Stronger Barricade, More weapon stocks, More party companions who is yet to be infected, etc.

"Acceptance" Part 2
This is possibly the toughest part about the Zombie Apocalypse, the infection. As you survive from the zombies, soon or later, someone will be infected. May it be a stranger, friends, or family, they will become your enemy. Many of you will obviously doubt the situation of someone who you knew will turn against you, but it's the truth. You must accept that they are lost cause and need to do the following.

    [li]Kill them through previously mentioned methods. If you kill the pre-infected like a normal human, it will most likely be reanimated as a zombie (Possibly, much faster than it should have). This will be the best method out of the following.
    [li]Split away. If you don't have the heart to kill your friends/family/companion, this may be the best way to do so. May it be leaving him/her when they are asleep or tricking them to split away, do what you must.
  • Keep him. Even though he may have been "infected," and you don't have a clear knowledge of how fast or how the process or becoming a zombie works, just keep him safe. There may be a possibility that a cure is available and the infection isn't as bad as you might think. If he does turn into a zombie or show obvious sign, do the previous two methods.

"Acceptance" Part 3
Following part 2, we will shortly discuss about getting infected your self. You have been bitten, splattered, or some way, you have gotten yourself infected by the zombies. Keep in mind the previous part and try to think for everyone. You can either be selfish, dragging down your whole companion and possibly wipe all of them out. Or, you can just accept your fate as a dead man and let go of yourself.


Quote (English Ninja)



I lol'd.
blood drops falling on my head~♪

Quote (English Ninja)



Job security. He can't reap us if the zombies get to us first.