Just a Member

I really want to apologize to the majority of the people here. I'm now just a member, meaning that the modding of battles will probably go a lot slower. Since this is probably a big deal to most of you, I'd like to take the time to state my reasons why. First happened when Twi and Eon, as a joke, pretended to delete the mod cave. This caused the staff to scramble around and try to gather data, all because those two thought it funny. I also feel guilty in this is because they told me about it for some reason and I said nothing. So now they have lost my respect and I've lost a bit of self esteem. Next was the whole EN's leaving joke. Not funny at all. Everyone Admin or Official knew about it and said nothing, which disappoints me. However, at least in I can regain a bit of the self esteem I lost from the earlier incident in knowing that I was about to announce that it was a joke right before EN did herself. Now, for the straw that broke the camel's back we have Zan. He took the joke that EN did, the one that had already been established as not funny and repeated it a day later. So lovely how he put a few other members on a guilt trip for criticizing him all for kicks. So lovely how he wants to make bad jokes and then pretend that I'm just overreacting when I get pissed off. So at this point, I've decided that at the very least I'm not working with people who I cannot respect. That's why I've gotten rid of my position. Once again, I'd like to apologize. This is mostly me just punishing the majority for what the few have done. I am deeply sorry to all members who this might affect. I am sorry to Heat and Albel who will most likely be the only ones willing to pick up my slack. I am also sorry to Demonstar for what must feel like abandonement by me on his part. Overall, I'm just simply sorry and hope that you'll forgive me.
I understand. And I forgive you. But don't beat yourself up over it. If you just want to be a member, that's up to you.
Hear this!

If this turns into a flaming topic, or if it becomes all personal attacks, I WILL BAN YOUR ASS for the next three days. So, let's play nice, kay?

If you wanna say something, feel free. Just keep it clean. We don't need everyone going apeshit.
You're right, Majin. Those jokes were completely immature, and...

I'm at fault. I was in on the info weeks--no, months before they actually sprang it, and lacked the proper judgement to realize that it was far more hurtful than it was supposed to be.

If you find working on the staff too detestable for your tastes, I understand completely. I hope that you remain a member of RERN, as your influence and presence will be truly missed.

If we ever manage to redeem ourselves in your eyes, your position will always be open should you want it.
I apologize as well. Sorry, Majin. I didn't mean for the jokes to turn out this way at all.

Again, Sorry. It was both immature and idiotic as a joke.
Of course, I'd be behind you whenever you decided to take your position back. You're definitely one of the main forces in the staff, so it's a shame to see that you're drawing out... I hope you'll reconsider, but you'll have my respect if you decide to stay a member, too.

Again, of course, I can't pretend I'm innocent... I was let in on the first joke after freaking out upon entering the chat and stayed quiet about it. I didn't have a hand in the later two jokes, so I think I know how you felt on it. Again, of course, we've certainly found a line that must be drawn in all this.

Ugh, and I've been so lazy with my modding recently, I really have to appreciate that callout!
It's a shame to see you back out of your position, since you were one of the best staff members in my opinion. On the other hand, if I were in your position, I would do the same thing. (or take it out on mr. last straw)

By the way, a note for the future, it may not be my place to say this, but if you think for even a minute that a joke may do more harm than good, don't do it. And if what you do wasn't originally a joke, don't make it look like one when you change your mind.

By all means, stay as a regular member. Everyone should *looks around menacingly* respect you all the same. I know I do.
Thanks for the last minute personal attacks. Appreciate it. But guess what? I'm not going to apologize for anything I did. Majin, you are just as guilty as everyone else for those jokes. You knew about them before hand, unlike myself who had to actually go through thinking that all that work was deleted. My joke was a way to get back at you and the others who allowed me to scramble around and band together some members to regain what we had lost. It was my revenge for allowing me to think you were all a bunch of fools more concerned with your damn D&D game than with the future of this site. You blame me for your lack of modding? For your "distaste" in the administration here? I blame you for allowing three groups of members who had nothing to do with my joke to stew in an event for five days. I blame you for being a pathetic, hypocritical human being. Yes, that was a flame. I fully expect to be banned. Good, as I have better things to do than listen to you bitch and moan. Call me a whiny prick? A smartass? Once again, fuck you Majin. Fuck you and your hypocritical high horse. I'm getting sick and tired of these accusations, these insults and all the blame falling on my shoulders. Go ahead. End your official status. I don't care. I don't care if you leave and never come back. I'm past the point of giving a damn about what you do. You know what...? Screw it. I'm wasting my time.

Leon, ban me please. Take away my modship while your at it because at this point I am seriously considering if I even want to come back after this crap. Happy now Majin? Hothead? "Mr. Last Straw" is gone for at least 3 days, maybe forever. And on that note, go fuck yourselves.

((Shury, Aim, Heat, Tom, Zanzo, Zal, DNR, Lunar, and the others...You know who you are...I'm sorry, but I really can't take any more of this crap. Maybe I'll see you around on some other site.))
Not personal. I didn't name any names, since if it happens again, it isn't necessarily going to happen the same way.

In fact, I probably shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.

Actually, no I'm not. Excuse me, Majin's a hypocrite? I...no, nevermind. I am NOT going to get myself banned as well just to retaliate.
I'll see if I can steer this back on track a little. Zan's gone, it sucks, we'll leave it at that, move on.

Good to have you back Majin. It's a damn shame things haven't worked out 100% awesome, but hey, what can you expect? It's good to see you're at least still with us. You were my first mod so it's a little strange to see you down to simple member status, but it's still cool. After all, means you're almost down to my level now! All that's between us is time and experience! I just might have time to catch up. So yeah, fun stuff. Hopin' to team up with you soon then Majin.

Again, glad you're sticking with us.
man, i may have done the same thing if i were in your shoes majin, hope that you stick with us....maybe someone else will become a mod and pick up where you left off on moding.
I thank everyone for their support and understanding. I was surprised to see such a warm response towards someone who seems to have been so loud and judgemental as of late. Any thoughts I did have of leaving have been dissolved. Eon, there were a few other things bothering me besides the pranks. Really, the wrongdoings weren't against me, so forgiving you would be arrogant. This is merely my attempt to wash my hands clean of a few of the blunders that have gone on amoung the staff. One person said that I had real guts to surrender my position to make a point but this is simply cowardence on my point. Heat, I'm sorry for suggesting that you'd take up my slack, since that kind of puts you on the spot. I probably should have apologized to you over PM or AIM instead. Demon, you've been so kind and understanding to me that I will support you even in my now lower position. If you need anything, be it advice or training new mods or something else, I'll do all I can. If all other staff would abandone you, I would take up my position again until you found someone to fill the slot, if the situation be so dire. And if I may be so bold, there is also someone who I'd suggest for my position, but I'd like to talk to him first before giving him my nomination. I've already plagued this person so much, taxed his forgiveness in such a degree, and dumped a large amount of responsibility on him that forcing an even larger job upon him would be truely cruel.

Now to address the person who feels he has been the subject of redicule for my topic. I know you've already posted you good bye topic, but posting my thoughts there would be a sign of disrespect. I've already mentioned my guilt on staying silent and for indirectly punishing those uninvolved. As I've also just mentioned in this paragraph, which alleviates any guilt other people might make you feel, there are other things that's been bugging me for the past couple months. As the others said, you don't need to make the hasty decision to leave. The other day, after turning everything over in my head, I felt the need to leave and never come back as well but then something odd happened: I had to work late and had a longer period to comtempalate things, ultimately coming to the conclusion that what I really needed was to just step down, to take a break from all the arguements and proposals of the cave. You don't need a ban from the board, just a self ban from politics and procedures. I doubt you'll take my advice, but I hope that you'll at least take that of your friends. I'm sorry if the brunt of my anger seemed to have fallen upon you. I talked with you on happy terms in the chat room. I know you're not a terrible person and I hope that you would say the same of me. Right now it seems that both of us are letting our emotions go out of control. You seem to feel that everyone is making personnal attacks on you. As you can see in your leaving topic, no one really seems to blame you for anything. If you feel threatened by me, please don't be. I stepped down. I have no authority. I can't affect your position or standing at all. My first post in here may have made you look like the bad guy, and for that I'm sorry. So now I will ask for your forgiveness as well. I will not refute your claims nor make more excuses. So please, don't follow the same path as I and punish the whole for what the few have done.
Let me say something.

Majin has always done a great job. Him stepping down will be a big blow to modding.

You idiots.

Eon/Twi/EN: Good or not, you all decided to make panic by pulling an april fools day joke WHEN IT WASN'T APRIL FOOLS DAY YET.

Majin: Resign whatever. Just realize that the things you complain of the others are things you're guilty of too.

Zan: You have a right to be pissed, but to pull something like that for your "revenge" is just no.

Before I was demoted, I said that the staff wasn't behaving appropriatly. That it would be ideal if the staff tried to swear less, keep inside the PG-13 rule, and conduct itself MORE like a real staff.

Guess now we know.
Calling everyone idiots won't help anything. That's what we're trying to get away from.... I was sort of hoping we'd get back to warm fuzzies now that we realize that Majin's coming back with great sensability. >.>;

And with that, I'm very happy to see that Majin's back myself.
You will stay around, I hope? You're still a cool guy, Majin. And I agree with you in that those jokes were all in rather poor taste, although I will also say in Zan's defence that it did seem as if you were focusing most of your anger on him, as opposed to everyone who pulled stuff. Whether that was true or not I don't know, but I really hate to see him go, and you demoted, although I do respect each of your decisions.

But anyway, I'm glad that you're gonna stick around and focus everything you got into your RP skills, right?
It's good to see that you will remain an active member, Majin. You were, as Skyrender put it so adequately, the proverberal "Soul" of the site.

On a sidenote, I agree with Aim. While the actions of the past week haven't all been in the greatest taste, and while all of the staff (myself, especially) have their own personal scruples, I feel that everyone has at least taken a valuable lesson from this probably completely unnecessary struggle. This is a time for reconciliation, to rebuild the bonds that were severely tested by the recent series of pranks.

I feel that further retaliation and judgement on past actions does us more harm than good as a community. At the core of it, behind all the facades and masks that Internet anonymity bestows, we are all human. And being human means being flawed.

And understanding that we're all inherently flawed requires that we possess and develop a healthy measure of forgiveness, instead of succumbing to the easier action of further accusation.

A "real" staff does not appear out of the blue. We are, after all, (even including RECN) a forum of less than 5 years in existance.

This is my first RP forum.

This is my first time in an administrative position.

I have no doubt that many others among the staff are in the same boat.

To reprimand us for our ignorance and our "newness", I feel, is completely uncalled for, Theo.

I hope you at least reconsider your tone in your statement, as valid as it is.