The Misadventures of MediocreMan!

A beam of light blue data shot down from the digital heavens of SciLab and solidified into the black and chrome figure of MediocreMan. He took a minute to survey the landscape, and but repeatedly looked down at the small monitor embedded into his arm that linked him and Gramps visually. Gramps gurgled with excitement.

"Yeah Yeah, just try to keep it in your pants. No seriously, if you poop, make sure it stays in the diaper. I never want a repeat of last night. Crap everywhere..."

As MediocreMan's thoughts became less focused on his one sided conversation, his sense of purpose, namely finding something exciting for Gramps to watch, grew stronger.

"Well, here goes nothing!"

MediocreMan initiated his patented zig-zag running method, guaranteed to find more virii faster than the average straight path!

(Ready for Battle 1)

Man, what kind of operator is 2 years old and poops in a-- Oh, sorry, didn't see you there. Anyway, MediocreMan, being all chrome and black and cool and stuff, went through the streets of the Science Labs network, haphazardly running about in search of some viruses to spar with. He quickly found a small arrangement of Cannondumb viruses, stationed neatly near a junction he was just zipping by. Their turret heads swiveled smoothly in his direction, some beeping sounds indicating their targeting systems were starting up.

-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: 50 HP
Canodumb B: 50 HP
Canodumb C: 50 HP

-- NAVIGATOR --
MediocreMan.EXE: 100 HP

-- TERRAIN --
100% Metal

-- BATTLE 01, READY? START!! --

[Go mark your topic [url=https://roguenetwork.piratenpad.de/rernmoderation]here[/url] when it's ready for moderation. It's convenient for me and you. Hooray.]

Having been on the lookout for virii instead of merely trying to get from one end of the net to the other, MediocreMan was ready for the encounter and quickly assessed the situation.

"Okay, Gramps, what do you think of strategy 6-D?"

"Gah!"

"Um, so does that mean yes or no?"

"Gah!"

In response to MediocreMan's predicament, a surge of shadowy data engulfed his right arm, transforming it into a small but powerful shotgun. MedioMan knew in the real world, Gramps had squezed his favorite teddy bear which triggered a mechanical arm to emerge from the atuomated baby stroller, which in turn had pulled out a battlechip and loaded it into the PET. MediocreMan strafed to a position where he hoped would line up 2 of his opponents and fired off the one use only projectile with style.

"Mhahaha!"

Virus deletion always put Gramps in a good mood, but if MedioMan finished it off too quickly he knew Gramps would get bored. He decided to use a trick that he often used when he wanted to go to the bar but had to watch Gramps too.

MedioMan's body became enveloped in a dark, pulsating energy, and a similar flare of energy erupted a meter in front of MedioMan between Canodumb C and MedioMan. The shadow quickly solidified into the form of MedioMan, which proceeded to taunt the virus.

"Hey Canodumb, you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!"

MedioMan just stood behind his doppleganger, waiting to for the fun to start.

Summary:
1. Tactical Movement (lining up Canodumb A and B for a Shotgun hit)
2. ShotGun - A gun whose shot penetrates an enemy to hit another one directly behind it. 50 + Spread1. [A] Aimed at Canodumb A with B behind it.
* Clone Technique - Create a Decoy of MediocreMan. Decoy. Free Action. Summoned between Canodumb C and Medio.
3. Deadly Decoy - When decoy vanishes, it deals 20 dmg to nearest opponent and heals ally 10 HP. Damage Delay (Decoy Vanish): 10 + 10 Life Drain. Shot-Type. 1 TCD. Used on MedioDecoy1.

MediocreMan was taking the battle at his own pace as he was able to easily delete the two Canodumbs with a single shotgun blast. The decoy confused the Canodumb enough so that it would take the bait and attack it, however, since the placement of the decoy was directly between the virus and the navi, the stray bullet missed Mediocre by a hair...

-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: DELETED
Canodumb B: DELETED
Canodumb C: 40 HP

-- NAVIGATOR --
MediocreMan.EXE: 100 HP

-- TERRAIN --
100% Metal

(I'm a little confused now. I thought decoys vanished if they get hit. Did this attack pass through my decoy somehow?)

Quote ()

Decoys can be physical things that you can interact with as if solid.

-Azureink (via PM)

----------------------------------------------------------------

A little confused by a stray bullet grazing his helmet, Medio called out to Gramps for help and was met with a gurgle.

"Thanks, you're a lot of help."

Darkness swarmed and coalesced on Medio's right arm, forming a small blue cannon. Medio fired off a yellow blast of energy aimed at the last virus standing.

"Hey, we make a good team!"

Summary
1 Cannon - A decent sized cannon with a single shot. 40 + Knockback. [A]. Aimed at Canodumb C

(When this battle ends. I'm ready to continue)

((The decoy, especially one made by a Shadow Subtype Navi can interact to a certain degree. However, they cannot AND do not act as a shield that can block attacks for you since their main purpose is to mislead your enemies into wasting their attacks. In this case, you placed your decoy directly between MediocreMan and the Canodumbs, so the attack made by the virus would still travel THROUGH the decoy and towards the navi like real projectiles.

And yes, your decoy is gone, I just forgot to mention is on the turn summary. So that one is my fault.

If you're still confused about this, please feel free to contact me on the Chat))

The lone Canodumb was able to get his head cleared up and finally locked in on the real MediocreMan. The navi and the virus intended to exchange their own cannon-shot with one another...but through some weird luck on both sides, the two attacks was nothing but a miss.

-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: DELETED
Canodumb B: DELETED
Canodumb C: 40 HP

-- NAVIGATOR --
MediocreMan.EXE: 100 HP (2 Turns Left)

-- TERRAIN --
100% Metal

"What? How the..."

Medio looked at the cannon on his arm before the data dispersed. In small print on the underside of the cannon, a message read: "Made in China"

"Dammit, Gramps, I told you to buy the American battlechips. They don't ever do this screwy stuff, even if the customer service sucks!"

Medio shifted his attention to the stubbornly resilient virus ahead of him. The only thing he could think of to do in a situation where his battlechips could crap out on him was to improvise. He focused his inner shadowy nature and summoned a decoy of himself above the Canodumb! The decoy attempted to land on the virus and obstruct its vision of Medio with his arms! Medio then ran at the virus in an attempt to get into melee range while avoiding incoming fire. As he was getting close, Gramps kicked his teddy bear (in the real world) and a large bear claw materialized over Medio's right arm. Medio quickly slashed twice at the virus that had survived much too long.

"Freaking disappear already!"

Summary:
* Clone Technique
1. Tactical movement - move into melee range and avoid incoming fire
2. RageClaw1 - 40 + Slashing
3. RageClaw1 - 40 + Slashing

((Since you used up only one of your three actions last turn, you could only use the two remaining turns...However, that really doesn't make much difference, since the virus' turn was already spent. Please keep this in mind next time~))

The Canodumb was once again caught in the confusion when it fired at the decoy once more. This time, MediocreMan was far away from the decoy and was out of the way for the stray bullet...Diving straight into the Canodumb for the kill with his Rageclaw!

-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: DELETED
Canodumb B: DELETED
Canodumb C: DELETED

-- NAVIGATOR --
MediocreMan.EXE: 100 HP

-- TERRAIN --
100% Metal

-BATTLE WON!-
[Cannon] Battlechip + 150zCannon
Damage: 40 + Knockback
Accuracy: A
Description: A decent sized cannon with a single shot.
Duration: Once
Element: Null

(Sorry, I didn't declare turn splice. I assumed this was a new turn.)

"Hey Gramps, i think that's enough for today, what do you think?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!"

"OKAY, okay, jeesh. Keep your pants on! I mean diaper! Whatever..."

Medio began his zigzag virus encounter tactic back up with a new vigor that could only come from a desire to stop a crying baby from tearing his eardrums apart.

(Ready for Next Battle.)

bump

bump

MediocreMan's zigzagging ended up bringing himself face to face with some heavy artillery. Pairs of CannonGuards and Beetank seemed to waiting for some Navi to show up so they could blast the tar out of them. Hopefully, he had stocked up on tar before the fight.

===POINT, AIM, CLICK===
CannonGuardA: 60 HP
CannonGuardB: 60 HP
BeetankA: 80 HP
BeetankB: 80 HP

===PERFECTLY NORMAL TERRAIN===
100% Normal

===PEDIATRIC CARETAKER NAVI===
MedicoreMan.EXE: 100 HP

---BATTLE ONETWO, READY
---TANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
---GO

Medio groaned as he took in the sight of his opponents. Beetanks are always a pain, and CannonGuards do that pesky shield maneuver. Medio waited to see if the CannonGuards would hide behind their shield, and when they did not do so he thought maybe it was only at higher levels that they behaved that way. Regardless, Medio was heavily outnumbered and unless he could think up of something quickly, he was going to have to change his name to SplatOnTheGround.EXE. In all honesty, the name might be more interesting then his current one, but he had no desire to be pummeled within an inch of his life. Who would take care of Gramps if he failed now? A desperate plan came to Medio just as he was thinking about a humorous image of Gramps trying to change his own diaper, and he got to work with a grin as he played it out in his head.

A swarm of throbbing shadows gathered in between the virus gang and solidified into the form of MedioMan, who began to summon the final attack of darkness by yelling " SHADOW CRASH BOMB!!!" The MedioDecoy raised both arms to the sky with palms facing up and continued to yell "AHHHHHHH!!!" as shadows and dark energy swirled above him. The ominous dark energy began to condense into a large orb of doom and crackle with the raw power it contained. With a cry of "DIE!!!", the clone of MedioMan threw the bomb directly up and back down on himself! His last contribution to this realm of existence landed on him and they both exploded in a cloud of smoke that enveloped the nearby virii!

During this time, Medio had enacted his strategy to even the overwhelming odds with style uncharacteristic of someone with such a lame name. In true wild west, gunslinger fashion, both of Medio's hands glowed with a light of transformation as they changed into decent sized cannons. As streams of light gathered inside the cannons, MedioMan took note of a particularly distracted virii and aimed both cannons at its core. Suppressing the urge to yell "Die, sucka!", Medio fired twin blasts at the target with a move that caused Gramps to laugh uproariously!

Now that the distraction was over and he had revealed where the threat to the virii could be located, Medio prepared some defenses in order not to be caught unaware. He generated a large, oval shaped energy field composed of solidified shadows and braced for impact.

Summary:
* Clone Technique - (Decoy) Masterful display of distraction
1-2 - Cannon1 x2 [(40 + Knockback) x2] aimed at distracted Beetank
3 - Guard NCP (1-Hit Shield)

MediocreMan's "flashy" decoy seemed to do its job as the viruses were sent in a confused frenzy, unable to get a solid lock on their navi target. During this time, the navi successfully shot down one of the Beetanks with his arm buster while shielding himself from the next attack.

When the smokey decoy subsided and the CannonGuard's frontal shield opened up to begin their counterattack. However, their effort was a naught as the bullets either zipped passed MediocreMan or was deflected by his defense!

===POINT, AIM, CLICK===
CannonGuardA: 60 HP
CannonGuardB: 60 HP
BeetankA: DELETED
BeetankB: 80 HP

===PERFECTLY NORMAL TERRAIN===
100% Normal

===PEDIATRIC CARETAKER NAVI===
MedicoreMan.EXE: 100 HP [Shield BROKEN]

With bullets flying by MediocreMan's head so close he could feel the air displaced by the speeding projectiles, Medio knew he had to act fast. The sheer number of enemy targets combined with Medio's own inexperience with netbattling without a Operator capable of real speech was taking its toll on him. Not that Gramps was completely useless, because as soon as he thought of ditching his babysitting assignment, a sleek shotgun materialized on his left hand while a large muscular bear claw formed over his right arm. Gramps sure does like that teddy bear. In order for this to work however, he would need a little more help and a lot of luck.

Medio summoned another decoy of himself in the line of fire of the two CannonGuard viruses. The decoy proceeded to coax the viruses into attacking him by knocking on their guard-plates! Meanwhile, Medio slammed the remaining Beetank into the air with his gigantic beast claw and chucked it at one of the unsuspecting CannonGuard viruses! Throwing bombs everywhere... the virus definitely deserved what came back around to it. To top it off, Medio fired a shotgun blast off at the unfortunate Beetank who was probably wondering how to roll back upright after being manhandled in such an embarrassing way! Medio felt pretty good as the shotgun data disintegrated and slipped into an amused grin thinking about the phrase "bowling with Beetanks".

Summary:
*Clone Tech - Summoned in line of fire of CannonGuards
1 Deadly Decoy - Will trigger on CannonGuardA if destroyed. 10 + 10 Life Drain
2 RageClaw1 - Used to toss Beetank at CannonGuardA (Not sure if there's damage involved in that)
3 ShotGun - Aimed at remaining Beetank and CannonGuardA - 50 + Spread1

[I assume you missed it, but your wording on the second RageClaw action is touching on godmoding. I'll let it off light, I don't like punishing people on their first thread. :'D Also, any non-slashing damage done with RageClaw does 20 + Impact to any targets affected, maximum of 2.]

Going through the motions of battle, Medio put up yet another distracting decoy, using that as a distraction to smack a Beetank clear off its feet (?). However, he miscalculated the claw's strength, and threw the Beetank way over the turret head. As expected, the CannonGuards aimed for the fake Medio, and unloaded their ammo on it. As a result, the decoy's counterattack triggered, dealing some damage towards one of the turrets.

At that moment, a shotgun shell was shot at the Beetank, which just so happened to have a freshly-exposed CannonGuard in front of it, hitting both of them at the same time. Unfortunately, the Beetank was still alive, managing to let off a bomb even while upturned. Of course, said bomb wasn't exactly accurate. It tried again, desperate to hit at least once... and failed again. Derp.

===POINT, AIM, CLICK===
CannonGuardA: DELETED
CannonGuardB: 60 HP
BeetankA: DELETED
BeetankB: 10 HP

===PERFECTLY NORMAL TERRAIN===
100% Normal

===PEDIATRIC CARETAKER NAVI===
MedicoreMan.EXE: 100 HP [Shield BROKEN]

Quickly running out of energy, MediocreMan knew he had to end this fight soon or it would end him. Having already made extensive use of his decoy ability, Medio doubted that it would be effective anymore either. Gramps had thrown his teddy bear that slotted in battlechips onto the ground, so Medio knew all he had left was the large bear claw still loaded onto his right arm. As desparate men usually do, Medio gave up on planning and simply hacked, slashed, and spun over and over. A whirlwind of shadow and beast swept through the enemy ranks as Medio sent a silent prayer to HeavenNet. It would have actually looked pretty cool had it not been for the terrified look on Medio's face that gave away his unfortunate pridicament.

"Gramps, you need to buy me some more battlechips. And a new tv. But mostly more battlechips."

Turn Summary
1. RageClaw1 (2nd use) - 40 + slashing. Remaining Beetank
2. RageClaw1 (3rd use) - 40 + slashing. Remaining CannonGuard
3. RageClaw1 (4th use) - 40 + slashing. Remaining CannonGuard

Making good use of his one remaining weapon, Medio made quick work of the enemies before him, though he took a cannon shell to the chest before he managed to execute it.

===POINT, AIM, CLICK===
CannonGuardA: DELETED
CannonGuardB: DELETED
BeetankA: DELETED
BeetankB: DELETED

===PERFECTLY NORMAL TERRAIN===
100% Normal

===PEDIATRIC CARETAKER NAVI===
MedicoreMan.EXE: 100 HP

-- BATTLE 02, VICTORY!! --

-- REWARDS --
[MarkCannon1] Battlechip, 270z

"Huff, huff. How was that Gramps? I about blew a gasket in that last battle. You'd better appreciate all the hard work I do to keep you entertained! Seriously, every time I log on you..."

MediocreMan trailed off as he noticed that Gramps had finally fallen to sleep. He was tired of this area anyways. Time to log off and go home.

MediocreMan, Jacking Out!"