The Misadventures of MediocreMan!

((Since you used up only one of your three actions last turn, you could only use the two remaining turns...However, that really doesn't make much difference, since the virus' turn was already spent. Please keep this in mind next time~))

The Canodumb was once again caught in the confusion when it fired at the decoy once more. This time, MediocreMan was far away from the decoy and was out of the way for the stray bullet...Diving straight into the Canodumb for the kill with his Rageclaw!

-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: DELETED
Canodumb B: DELETED
Canodumb C: DELETED

-- NAVIGATOR --
MediocreMan.EXE: 100 HP

-- TERRAIN --
100% Metal

-BATTLE WON!-
[Cannon] Battlechip + 150zCannon
Damage: 40 + Knockback
Accuracy: A
Description: A decent sized cannon with a single shot.
Duration: Once
Element: Null

(Sorry, I didn't declare turn splice. I assumed this was a new turn.)

"Hey Gramps, i think that's enough for today, what do you think?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!"

"OKAY, okay, jeesh. Keep your pants on! I mean diaper! Whatever..."

Medio began his zigzag virus encounter tactic back up with a new vigor that could only come from a desire to stop a crying baby from tearing his eardrums apart.

(Ready for Next Battle.)

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MediocreMan's zigzagging ended up bringing himself face to face with some heavy artillery. Pairs of CannonGuards and Beetank seemed to waiting for some Navi to show up so they could blast the tar out of them. Hopefully, he had stocked up on tar before the fight.

===POINT, AIM, CLICK===
CannonGuardA: 60 HP
CannonGuardB: 60 HP
BeetankA: 80 HP
BeetankB: 80 HP

===PERFECTLY NORMAL TERRAIN===
100% Normal

===PEDIATRIC CARETAKER NAVI===
MedicoreMan.EXE: 100 HP

---BATTLE ONETWO, READY
---TANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
---GO

Medio groaned as he took in the sight of his opponents. Beetanks are always a pain, and CannonGuards do that pesky shield maneuver. Medio waited to see if the CannonGuards would hide behind their shield, and when they did not do so he thought maybe it was only at higher levels that they behaved that way. Regardless, Medio was heavily outnumbered and unless he could think up of something quickly, he was going to have to change his name to SplatOnTheGround.EXE. In all honesty, the name might be more interesting then his current one, but he had no desire to be pummeled within an inch of his life. Who would take care of Gramps if he failed now? A desperate plan came to Medio just as he was thinking about a humorous image of Gramps trying to change his own diaper, and he got to work with a grin as he played it out in his head.

A swarm of throbbing shadows gathered in between the virus gang and solidified into the form of MedioMan, who began to summon the final attack of darkness by yelling " SHADOW CRASH BOMB!!!" The MedioDecoy raised both arms to the sky with palms facing up and continued to yell "AHHHHHHH!!!" as shadows and dark energy swirled above him. The ominous dark energy began to condense into a large orb of doom and crackle with the raw power it contained. With a cry of "DIE!!!", the clone of MedioMan threw the bomb directly up and back down on himself! His last contribution to this realm of existence landed on him and they both exploded in a cloud of smoke that enveloped the nearby virii!

During this time, Medio had enacted his strategy to even the overwhelming odds with style uncharacteristic of someone with such a lame name. In true wild west, gunslinger fashion, both of Medio's hands glowed with a light of transformation as they changed into decent sized cannons. As streams of light gathered inside the cannons, MedioMan took note of a particularly distracted virii and aimed both cannons at its core. Suppressing the urge to yell "Die, sucka!", Medio fired twin blasts at the target with a move that caused Gramps to laugh uproariously!

Now that the distraction was over and he had revealed where the threat to the virii could be located, Medio prepared some defenses in order not to be caught unaware. He generated a large, oval shaped energy field composed of solidified shadows and braced for impact.

Summary:
* Clone Technique - (Decoy) Masterful display of distraction
1-2 - Cannon1 x2 [(40 + Knockback) x2] aimed at distracted Beetank
3 - Guard NCP (1-Hit Shield)

MediocreMan's "flashy" decoy seemed to do its job as the viruses were sent in a confused frenzy, unable to get a solid lock on their navi target. During this time, the navi successfully shot down one of the Beetanks with his arm buster while shielding himself from the next attack.

When the smokey decoy subsided and the CannonGuard's frontal shield opened up to begin their counterattack. However, their effort was a naught as the bullets either zipped passed MediocreMan or was deflected by his defense!

===POINT, AIM, CLICK===
CannonGuardA: 60 HP
CannonGuardB: 60 HP
BeetankA: DELETED
BeetankB: 80 HP

===PERFECTLY NORMAL TERRAIN===
100% Normal

===PEDIATRIC CARETAKER NAVI===
MedicoreMan.EXE: 100 HP [Shield BROKEN]

With bullets flying by MediocreMan's head so close he could feel the air displaced by the speeding projectiles, Medio knew he had to act fast. The sheer number of enemy targets combined with Medio's own inexperience with netbattling without a Operator capable of real speech was taking its toll on him. Not that Gramps was completely useless, because as soon as he thought of ditching his babysitting assignment, a sleek shotgun materialized on his left hand while a large muscular bear claw formed over his right arm. Gramps sure does like that teddy bear. In order for this to work however, he would need a little more help and a lot of luck.

Medio summoned another decoy of himself in the line of fire of the two CannonGuard viruses. The decoy proceeded to coax the viruses into attacking him by knocking on their guard-plates! Meanwhile, Medio slammed the remaining Beetank into the air with his gigantic beast claw and chucked it at one of the unsuspecting CannonGuard viruses! Throwing bombs everywhere... the virus definitely deserved what came back around to it. To top it off, Medio fired a shotgun blast off at the unfortunate Beetank who was probably wondering how to roll back upright after being manhandled in such an embarrassing way! Medio felt pretty good as the shotgun data disintegrated and slipped into an amused grin thinking about the phrase "bowling with Beetanks".

Summary:
*Clone Tech - Summoned in line of fire of CannonGuards
1 Deadly Decoy - Will trigger on CannonGuardA if destroyed. 10 + 10 Life Drain
2 RageClaw1 - Used to toss Beetank at CannonGuardA (Not sure if there's damage involved in that)
3 ShotGun - Aimed at remaining Beetank and CannonGuardA - 50 + Spread1

[I assume you missed it, but your wording on the second RageClaw action is touching on godmoding. I'll let it off light, I don't like punishing people on their first thread. :'D Also, any non-slashing damage done with RageClaw does 20 + Impact to any targets affected, maximum of 2.]

Going through the motions of battle, Medio put up yet another distracting decoy, using that as a distraction to smack a Beetank clear off its feet (?). However, he miscalculated the claw's strength, and threw the Beetank way over the turret head. As expected, the CannonGuards aimed for the fake Medio, and unloaded their ammo on it. As a result, the decoy's counterattack triggered, dealing some damage towards one of the turrets.

At that moment, a shotgun shell was shot at the Beetank, which just so happened to have a freshly-exposed CannonGuard in front of it, hitting both of them at the same time. Unfortunately, the Beetank was still alive, managing to let off a bomb even while upturned. Of course, said bomb wasn't exactly accurate. It tried again, desperate to hit at least once... and failed again. Derp.

===POINT, AIM, CLICK===
CannonGuardA: DELETED
CannonGuardB: 60 HP
BeetankA: DELETED
BeetankB: 10 HP

===PERFECTLY NORMAL TERRAIN===
100% Normal

===PEDIATRIC CARETAKER NAVI===
MedicoreMan.EXE: 100 HP [Shield BROKEN]

Quickly running out of energy, MediocreMan knew he had to end this fight soon or it would end him. Having already made extensive use of his decoy ability, Medio doubted that it would be effective anymore either. Gramps had thrown his teddy bear that slotted in battlechips onto the ground, so Medio knew all he had left was the large bear claw still loaded onto his right arm. As desparate men usually do, Medio gave up on planning and simply hacked, slashed, and spun over and over. A whirlwind of shadow and beast swept through the enemy ranks as Medio sent a silent prayer to HeavenNet. It would have actually looked pretty cool had it not been for the terrified look on Medio's face that gave away his unfortunate pridicament.

"Gramps, you need to buy me some more battlechips. And a new tv. But mostly more battlechips."

Turn Summary
1. RageClaw1 (2nd use) - 40 + slashing. Remaining Beetank
2. RageClaw1 (3rd use) - 40 + slashing. Remaining CannonGuard
3. RageClaw1 (4th use) - 40 + slashing. Remaining CannonGuard

Making good use of his one remaining weapon, Medio made quick work of the enemies before him, though he took a cannon shell to the chest before he managed to execute it.

===POINT, AIM, CLICK===
CannonGuardA: DELETED
CannonGuardB: DELETED
BeetankA: DELETED
BeetankB: DELETED

===PERFECTLY NORMAL TERRAIN===
100% Normal

===PEDIATRIC CARETAKER NAVI===
MedicoreMan.EXE: 100 HP

-- BATTLE 02, VICTORY!! --

-- REWARDS --
[MarkCannon1] Battlechip, 270z

"Huff, huff. How was that Gramps? I about blew a gasket in that last battle. You'd better appreciate all the hard work I do to keep you entertained! Seriously, every time I log on you..."

MediocreMan trailed off as he noticed that Gramps had finally fallen to sleep. He was tired of this area anyways. Time to log off and go home.

MediocreMan, Jacking Out!"