Where has the Mori gone.

So at this point, I've tried several times to write this message, but it's never been a good time, or things were changing to often to properly convey what was going on. Finally I can sit and do so.

As all of you know, I haven't been active for awhile now, and even less active even in the chat. There are many reasons for this.

The first was of course, after over a year and a half of attempting to earn a second SP for my only navi, two missions end, not in failure, but because parties involve either can't continue or just deciding they don't want to anymore. This of course sent me into a bit of a rage for several weeks, not aimed at anyone particularly, but just situations involved that caused those people to need to move on.

After finally dealing with all that, and getting ready to return, I then had three weeks of family coming to visit and spent the majority of the time I had letting my little neice and nephew play on my computer, or spent each day at the pool in my apartment complex. Having no free time to myself during those weeks.

Finally, the biggest reason for my absence. Over the last couple of months, my mother has been dealing with various aches and pains, and has finally gotten it checked out in the last couple of weeks. As it turns out, she has a type of colon cancer. She had it in the same place 8 years ago, but it seems to have returned, larger than before. The last few weeks have been talking, making decisions on how we want to deal with it, meeting with doctors and trying to tell them how we want it dealt with while they give us their bs methods we already agreed we're not going to do. It's all complicated and we're still waiting on another test and meeting another doctor before anything actually gets started.

Beyond all this, our Lease for the apartment is up in November, my sister will be moving out and getting married, leaving my mother and myself to afford a new apartment. And with her most likely being out of work for several months, with the possibility of forced retirement. I basically have a month or two to find a full time paying job, that doesn't have demanding hours as I'll be taking my mother to appointments often. If I can't, well I get to live on a couch in a one bedroom apartment as that's all she could afford if she gets to keep working after all this.

So there you go, those are the various reasons I've been away, and sadly why I will continue to be on hiatus. I will try to check in and come back to see how things are going, even get into chat when I can, but most likely it will be January before I could become active again. So I wish you all the best, hope to see you when I can. Take care and continue being a great group of people.


TL;DR: I'll be on hiatus until January at the earliest, hope to become active and resume mod and dev work at that time.


So there ya go, take care all, God Bless, please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Just remember that Lucia and DragonierMan need to dungeon-dive together.

I know that things have been rough, Mori, and I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this...

I hope things work out alright for you in the long-run, even if they seem likely to get more difficult before they get better. Please take good care of yourself, whatever comes. You're important, and taking care of your own health an well-being must always come before making time for us.

I'm still looking forward to playing with you some day, but I'm no stranger to awaiting your whim, hehe... Take whatever time you need to get things good, and know that you've got all of my hope and well-wishes.

So, update time I think, since more and more I find myself missing this place, and my endless fail at getting my second SP. But right, update!

So, not alot has changed as of yet, though things are a little more known and I'm more freely able to talk about them now.

First and foremost, my own health is still an issue, exercise is extremely hard thanks to pain in my knees, not to mention the almost 24/7 migraines that I have, I'm currently trying to get in to a clinic to see about these issues, and some other possible mental health issues. While they aren't anything to serious, chances are they would qualify me for disability, which at this point in time would be the best outcome.

Secondly, my family and I will be moving soon, we have to be out of our apartment here I think November 8th. The move itself will cost quite a bit, and we're downsizing from a three bedroom, to a two bedroom, originally it was going to be just my mother and myself, but now it seems my sister will be coming with us after all for the first six months. This will make things quite stressful.

Next we have the family issues, one of which I'm not at liberty to talk about, but what I can say is my nephew is in quite serious trouble, and could use prayers or thoughts if any are willing to do so. The final issue comes with my mother herself. After about a month and a half of being jerked around by various doctors, starting next Thursday she's finally going to be starting radiation, she has colon cancer. And while its not a life threatening issue, the radiation treatments are going to start having their effects about the time we have to move. Not to mention her surgery is still not set with a date, likewise she's hoping she can continue to work, but might be forced to retire, which presents its own all new set of challenges.

So, needless to say, lots and lots of things to be stressed about, and taking more of my time and energy. But in the quite moments while working at night, I find myself missing everyone here and my navi. If possible, I will try to start being active again before the move. But I can't make any promises as to just how active that would be.

TL:DR I'm going to be trying to come back soon, how soon is still up for debate.

Take care all, hope to see ya'll soon.

*Hugs the Mori*

You've got all of my well-wishes, Morisha, and you know I keep you in my thoughts, and continue to hope for the best. Take care and hang in there, kupo... you and your family have my love, and all the support and hope I have to give.

I'm sorry to hear what's going on Mori but I gotta say your taking it well. I've had times in my life where I've been overwhelmed with stress and depression and just felt like I couldn't go on. My usual response was to just do nothing. I read books, played games, did anything but face reality. Of course I also just had myself to worry about, with no family to live with or look after. I've seen people in unreasonable situations and it baffles me how they manage to even wake up each day with their lives the way they are and so far everyone I've asked says they do it because they have to. They have no choice and do it for their selves, their family, their beliefs, anything really.

If I didn't have such a good friend in Fenrir/Gyro, I probably wouldn't still be alive and he has pretty much accepted me into his family, as have his relatives over the years. Now that he is married and they have had kid #2, while both working, I try to help how I can. I have a job again after 3 years of being unemployed and am getting things together.

Sorry to go on about myself in your thread, but i think its pretty amazing how you can stay motivated through what's happening around you and I totally wish you the best. Its always easier said than done but try to not let things get you down. Depression can be a long and terrible road with dead ends and pitfalls and in the end it just goes in circles. Its always easier to feel sorry for yourself than do anything about it. I hope the 3 of you can keep each other in good spirits because I wouldn't be that surprised if at least one of you gets down about what's going on. Its only natural and just stick together, you guys should be fine as long as you have each other.

Well, the hits just keep on coming, the joys, the cheers, the laughs, the tears(not mine). The update:

So, about that last update, yeah funny thing. Day after, more drama began within the family. The long and short of it, my sister will be moving with my mum and myself. After a couple of hectic, stressful weeks, we've found a new apartment that will fit the three of us together, though I won't have a room in the traditional sense, its more than I'd have anywhere else.

The upside to things, is that pending our approval from the place, we've got a date set to move on November 2nd. It's great to have an official move date at last, even if its not exactly what we'd hoped for. I've also got a doc appointment on October 16th, which should finally after several stressful months and being in pain constantly, I should hopefully finally start getting things started in working at my own health improvement.

Mother's treatments seem to be going well, though she gets fatigued alot easier than the doctors claimed she should, she and I were expecting this, but it still sucks when doctors don't listen to people that know what they are talking about.

Ah well, at this point, It will most likely be after the move, or at least after my doctors appointment when I can finally sit down and get active on here again. Until then, I'm going to take the time to try and get the commission job I do from home properly going and earning me some money again.

TL:DR: I'll be moving Nov 2nd, hopefully active either after or before then. Take care ya'll, see you soon.

More updates, yay!

So, moving day is this Saturday, from what I've been told, we'll get the key to the new place as early as Thursday night, but all the main moving will happen on Saturday, and supposedly the internet will be set up on Friday which I'll be hanging out at the new place for.

So, things are starting to settle at last, I'm still having health issues, but I'm finally seeing a doctor so things are at least progressing. Which means much less stress about it, and free time is partly opening up again.

I have badly wanted to come back here again for weeks, so I look forward to being able to get in and active again on the website, hopefully at the start of next week. I may try to slip into the chatroom between now and then, but you can probably expect to see me around again starting Monday. So ya know, cheers!

TL:DR You are lazy, go read.

Glad to hear we will be seeing more of you! Be sure to pester Rai about your mission!

So, random absence again, but at least this time I'm posting at the tail end of it with a majority of good news.

So, as mentioned previous, mum had colon cancer. I say had because today was her surgery, and after a bothersome and stressful day, I left the hospital after seeing her in the room she'll be recovering in. Surgeon said all went well and bidding any bad results from tests, cancer should be gone. She should get to come home Monday.

Other news, one of the largest stress causes in my life should at long last be leaving tomorrow morning, and not returning, this is deeply thrilling and relieving to at last be able to get a sense of peace again. Which of course means activity should pick up greatly in the coming couple of days(Sorry Aim, I'll get a post for you soon). Look forward to seeing you all again, take care.

Wish your mother the best of luck from me. While my cancer didn't seem as grave, I still know what it's like. Hope to see you around again, Mori.

Hopefully the last update and I should be posting within the next day or two, if not today(again, sorry Aim).

Just brought mum home from the hospital today, she's doing well, recovering if the usual surgery pains. So should be able to settle and rest well here. Which means alot less stress going to and from the hospital all the time, so that opens up some free time again. yayness.

Blah, reviving this again apparently.

So, today was mum's first chemo appointment, which we spent 6 hours at the hospital for, little sleep was gotten last night by me, but that's pretty normal. She's doing well, and so far seems to not have any side effects, but they said it'd most likely be Wednesday before she experiences any so we'll see.

As for myself, I've finally gotten to see someone, and started taking an antidepressant. Now before anyone gets worried, no I'm not depressed. Apparently if you have any form of mental issues, the first thing they do is throw antidepressants at it. So in order to figure out how to get me better, which yes, I am offically bi-polar. In order to get me better, its a long process of elimination and it starts with the meds I've started.

My hope is I can get myself back to being active here this week. That's a goal I'd like to set for myself, so hope to see you all in chat soon.

I wish you and your mom well. I'd be delighted to see you around this week, too. :Y

Was really hoping I'd seen this thread die the last time I posted here. But life is rarely that kind it seems.

Truth be told, I've been having a rough month and a half. I don't sleep well, often have little or no energy, or migraines plague me. Doesn't help that its the rainy season which means the barometric pressure causes even worse headaches and migraines daily. Then topping it off, my computer is more or less one you'd give to your parents.

It works, it browses net and watches videos, but gaming is all but impossible, which is quite depressing. It'll be a long time before I get to touch a PC game again. Still, I'll try my hardest to push myself to get back into roleplaying and posting, and being active here again, I really miss it, and need to just try and push through it all.

So here's hoping.

Know you've been having a rough time of things, and I really wish I could help somehow, Mori. My own net troubles non-withstanding, I really would love a chance to play with you here and I hope you do feel like playing again soon. I know forcing these things rarely works out well, kupo, but being a bit selfish, I do hope very much that desire to play outweighs the discomfort/difficulty for you!

Please make sure you're taking good care of yourself, Mori. I'm missing you.

-Rogan

Has it really been since June...

Howdy all, first and foremost I just wanted to say that no I'm not dead, nor have I forgotten about any of you or the forum. I check it several times each day, and I very much wish to return as soon as my mental state allows.

That said, my current status is less than favorable, certain stresses have been brought back into my life and will not be removed for the foreseeable future. Couple this with my own mental problems that are ever so slowly being worked out by various doctors has left me with little mind to do much.

There is some light in the tunnel though. While I've been told it is generally a two year process or so, I'm at the stage where enough documentation has been made that I have a hope of getting on disability, which would be a major step in paying for proper tests and doctors and drugs to try and get me in a better place with life.

Likewise, I'm in the process of trying to get a new computer built, which itself would be a major stress relief, as it's very off putting to be using a computer that loves to blue screen over the simplest things. So here is hoping I'll get word back from the one working on it, and be able to get it soon.

Now, all that said, I'll be going on vacation next week, and away from my computer, and more importantly, the major contributing factors of stress. I will however, have access to the net, and still be able to check the forum. Which hopefully the change in scenery will help spark my creativity again and get to posting again.

Anyway I've now rambled enough, so let me finish by saying Marry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all those here on the forums, I look forward to chatting, working and playing with you all again soon.

Another very long and slow update, sorry I'll try to do better guys, honest.

Things have just sort of been stuck in a loop the last several months, and gotten worse in this last month for me. Stress levels are pretty high and at least at the moment, the only definite answer I've been given is 'well, we'll probably split up and get separate places this November.'

If I hadn't explained it yet, the biggest issue of my stress is I'm living with a certain member of my family that has become a trigger for mental breakdowns, it's not his fault, and he's honestly gotten better in his own life, and I'm glad for that, but it really doesn't change the fact that I cannot live with him and function, and I'm being forced to live with him possibly up until this November.

Anyway I won't go on because depressing stuff blows, instead I'll try and focus on the positive today. Firstly, I'm in Florida on vacation for a week visiting my sister's family and spending time with my niece and nephew, and having just all kinds of fun playing games and goofing off with them.

Secondly I bought a laptop that's by far better than my desktop, which means I'm now able to dabble into things like live streaming, which is something I've wanted to get into for awhile now. I've toyed a little with it, testing setups and the like, but I play to get more in depth with it once I get home, most likely I'll be doing speedruns, as that's a style of stream I spend alot of time watching, and I think I'd enjoy it.

Currently I've a sizable list of games I'll test out speedrunning on, things like Super Mario RPG, Paper Mario games, and the biggest interest is doing the Breath of Fire games as so far they are only done by french runners and need someone beyond them to represent the games. If there is interest in it, I'll post my twitch site here later when I actually get more into it enough to have an active schedule. Right now I'm wanting to do it as a hobby, but if I'm lucky it'll turn into a paying job and be at least a small source of income, but that's probably not for a year or two out, who knows.

Anyways, beyond all that, rping sort of died out for me thanks to stress, so here is hoping the laptop will ease that and I'll be able to get back into it again, I'd love very much to get active here again, and I'll try to start coming into the chat again either way, so here is hoping I see ya'll in there soon.

Till then, take care ya'll, hope everyone's been doing well, and catch ya later.

Good to hear from you! If you ever want to pop in to the chat and drop a link, I'll watch you steam something. I'd also like to see rp again whenever you're up for it. :y

Breath of Fire(1-3), and particularly the main protagonist Ryu, is the primary reason behind DragonierMan. A person who can transform into dragons. So I am very much interested in these playthroughs (though I would want a 100% speedrun over a general speedrun).

And that might bring you into a frame of mind conductive to roleplaying with said Navi. Lucia and Drago still need to finish their dungeon crawl of Netcastle D-119. I remember you having a want to do that earlier. Although without PaladinDC around we will just do it like a normal bust or something until we are satisfied.