A list of qualifications.....
> To be a Republican you need to believe:
> 1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
> Clinton
.
> 2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's
Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a
bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion
> 3. Trade with
Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but
trade with China
and Vietnam
is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
> 4. The United States
should get out of the United Nations, and our
highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against
Iraq .
> 5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
> multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all
mankind without regulation.
> 6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
> speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
> 7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
> 8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies,
then demand their cooperation and money.
> 9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have
the best interests of the public at heart.
> 10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.
> 11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands
die is solid defense policy.
> 12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
> 13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
> 14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're
a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
for your recovery.
> 15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born,
who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
> 16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest,
but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.
> 17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for
wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.
> If you don't send this to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be
stuck with more Republicans in '08. (Now that's a scary thought).
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TO BE A REPUBLICAN
last edited by
Hold on. Yes global warming is junk, but tabaco enduced cancer is fact, drug companies should be put under servailance, and creationism should at least be adressed in schooles so that they know all the theorys on the table.
But if our nation goes to national health care, we're moving to Austalia. My dad said so, as he refuses to practice in a nation that will limit his income after two decades of hard work ot get to where he is today, just so some chain-smoking guy on government suport can get cheap health care.
But if our nation goes to national health care, we're moving to Austalia. My dad said so, as he refuses to practice in a nation that will limit his income after two decades of hard work ot get to where he is today, just so some chain-smoking guy on government suport can get cheap health care.
last edited by
So if I DON'T spread this, does that mean we don't get a Democrat in '08? : D
Score another one for being lazy.
Score another one for being lazy.
last edited by
Quote (AimMan)
So if I DON'T spread this, does that mean we don't get a Democrat in '08? : D
Score another one for being lazy.
Hey, an unitneded benifit. Woot!
last edited by
Not sure whether I should go on a rant about the immorality of Democrats or just be the bigger man in this and let you look like a fool for spreading a bunch of anti-Republican bias. Ho hum, perhaps I'll sleep on this.
last edited by
Quote (MajinBooger)
Not sure whether I should go on a rant about the immorality of Democrats or just be the bigger man in this and let you look like a fool for spreading a bunch of anti-Republican bias. Ho hum, perhaps I'll sleep on this.
You're right, I should just walk away. Thanks for the cooler head.
last edited by
1. Check.
2. Check.
3. Check...
You know, I'll just assume they're all checked.
Yay for not spreading the heresy!
2. Check.
3. Check...
You know, I'll just assume they're all checked.
Yay for not spreading the heresy!
last edited by
RS: Lawl, insulting republicans. Truly an American past-time. Now make one for Democrats.
Zolem: I'm sorry... I usually just try to ignore you (and others, don't get me wrong) when you make an asshat of yourself, but come on.
A. Global Warming has merit to it, although it is also true that there are quite a few other scientific possibilities to it (like, say, that the earth's orbit isn't perfect, and veers closer or further from the sun, if even just a bit, every couple thousand years or so. Think about it)
B. Do you realize that more money is spent by the Government (and thusly more money coming out of taxpayers pockets) is spent on a patient forced to go to the emergency room than is spent providing basic health care insurance to him/her and letting her visit a normal clinic. The 'limit' to your father's income already exists as is; changing things for the better won't really affect the amount of money we pay, but will instead actually reduce the cost we normally spend on the unfortunate souls who can't normally afford health care, so I wouldn't trip.
Zolem: I'm sorry... I usually just try to ignore you (and others, don't get me wrong) when you make an asshat of yourself, but come on.
A. Global Warming has merit to it, although it is also true that there are quite a few other scientific possibilities to it (like, say, that the earth's orbit isn't perfect, and veers closer or further from the sun, if even just a bit, every couple thousand years or so. Think about it)
B. Do you realize that more money is spent by the Government (and thusly more money coming out of taxpayers pockets) is spent on a patient forced to go to the emergency room than is spent providing basic health care insurance to him/her and letting her visit a normal clinic. The 'limit' to your father's income already exists as is; changing things for the better won't really affect the amount of money we pay, but will instead actually reduce the cost we normally spend on the unfortunate souls who can't normally afford health care, so I wouldn't trip.
last edited by
It is probably a direct copy/paste from an E-Mail response.
Anyway, I'm a Republican. Rawr!
Anyway, I'm a Republican. Rawr!
last edited by
Man, I feel sorry for Republicans.
I don't feel to good for Democrats either.
JOIN THE BIRTHDAY PARTY TODAY!
I don't feel to good for Democrats either.
JOIN THE BIRTHDAY PARTY TODAY!
last edited by
Quote (Zolem)
Hold on. Yes global warming is junk,
ARE
YOU
STUPID!??
O_O
Global Warming = Real.
Not junk.
last edited by
FINE
D:<
I just completely think this topic is pwnage, epic, win, and awesome.
Really.
I even made a facebook group and edited the format.
XD
(Nice post, RS.)
D:<
I just completely think this topic is pwnage, epic, win, and awesome.
Really.
I even made a facebook group and edited the format.
XD
(Nice post, RS.)
last edited by
Take a joke, people. This topic is hilarious.
I happen not to like Republicans, but I can laugh at democrat jokes too. Someone should post some just to make it all equal <<
I happen not to like Republicans, but I can laugh at democrat jokes too. Someone should post some just to make it all equal <<
last edited by
Quote (Hiko)
I just completely think this topic is pwnage, epic, win, and awesome.
Really.
I even made a facebook group and edited the format.
XD
(Nice post, RS.)
PM me what group it is.
And... quoted.
last edited by
I didn't say there's anything wrong with doing it. I just put in my two cents.
No self-respecting democrat would use the Cheney thing seriously, anyways. That's how you tell it's a joke. >;0
No self-respecting democrat would use the Cheney thing seriously, anyways. That's how you tell it's a joke. >;0
last edited by
There were a lot of things that were true as well as insulting, but here's one that hits home for me.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
EDIT WITH EXPLANATION: Clinton was the President when I was a little'un, so I remember him with childlike fondness. Also, my parents liked him. He was moderate. So
Also, 10z goes to the first one to the first one to insult Ann Coutler in an appropriately hilarious way.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
EDIT WITH EXPLANATION: Clinton was the President when I was a little'un, so I remember him with childlike fondness. Also, my parents liked him. He was moderate. So
Also, 10z goes to the first one to the first one to insult Ann Coutler in an appropriately hilarious way.
last edited by
Quote (Kazuhiro)
There were a lot of things that were true as well as insulting, but here's one that hits home for me.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
EDIT WITH EXPLANATION: Clinton was the President when I was a little'un, so I remember him with childlike fondness. Also, my parents liked him. He was moderate. So
Also, 10z goes to the first one to the first one to insult Ann Coutler in an appropriately hilarious way.
crap.
I forget who Coulter is.
XD
