3-Word Story

OK. If you remember, a couple months back, we had an extremely successful thread called the '3-word Story' that I started.
Now that we have a significantly greater amount of members...
I'm reviving it!

Rules: You may put three words in your post, considered 'IC'. Anything else, put in the double parentheses of 'OOC'. The goal is to create the wackiest and most hilarious story ever. Re-caps are encouraged, perhaps every 24-30 words.

No flaming in the story, either. >_> Also, don't say 'and then it', etc, unless it's absolutely necessary: it's no fun at all. CRAZY SHIT, PEOPLE!

Oh, and ah, try and keep it grammar-nazi-approved. No 'teh dawg wnt'! Or any of that crap, unless it's part of a meme or intended as a joke.

NOTE:

PERIODS MARK THE START OF A NEW STORYLINE, OR A CONTINUATION OF THE PREVIOUS ONE. SENTENCES SHOULD BE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE UNTIL RUN-ONS, COMMA SPLICES OR THE LIKE ARE ACHIEVED. THANK YOU.

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Quote (niax)

I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to


((this just makes it easier to follow, please everyone keep it in this format...))

Indeed, do so.

I paaaaanched the
ironic maiden and
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to


((this just makes it easier to follow, please everyone keep it in this format...))
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba I forgot
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba I forgot to eat more
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba I forgot to eat more fiber my doctor
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume

((INSERT PUNCTUATION IF THERE IS NONE.))
((As a matter of general fact, I did save the previous one to my harddrive entitled "Greatest Story Ever".

Once there was a kingdom known for having beautiful clocks, watches, and waits, marking its walls, buildings, and tiny Spanish poodles that are zombie. Zombies are useful watching adult material because they never watch creepy TV. Meanwhile, Shuryou was reading some hentai when suddenly a blazing ball of ninjas came flying THRU THA STRATISFEAR! And then totally blowed up, lol. Shuryou then died. The only way to get out was to destroy the psychotic monkey was to swim through the protoplasmic satanic mystical gate of everlasting doom made of cheese. Meanwhile, the Power was slowly ravaging the nigga that stole the big store of doom. It was difficult to eat pie and shred the meat to make tonight's supper. One little two little blow guts out across the room with cheesy waffles. Then the otter got testicular cancer and the sentance spontaniously kersploded. Meanwhile, Urahara and Yoruichi were having fun playing some games when giant robots completely and totally violently rampaged around. But then, Tha Ultimate Supreme Fabulous Passionman attacked with giant lazar beams and shredded cheese over a bread made of cheese, ignoring punctuation marks, looking like cheese and tasting like burnt up paper bearing adult materials all about your mom and her young lady friend, enjoying adult materials of two subjects, cough drops and Evangelion rap music. I DON'T KNOW how to make SEVERAL GOOD BOOKS! It comes to me and says "Shoop Da Woop", and I says "Chargin' mah lazer" and then, the giant long cat stole mah guitar. "WRRRYYYY!" said the plate of coleslaw. And then the Kirby ate King but choked on a giant, freakin' manifestation of awsomeness. The giant dragon, King Ghidorah, has a lovely daughter named Prncess LAZAR. She commanded that she recieve several SHOOP da WOOP for her birthday. She was dissapointed because all the bases belonged to CATS. So she invented DOGS, a mobile task force destined to become a political party in the stars covered in cheese. Cheese makes a healthy dairy snack.))

And for a more modern twist...

I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE!
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE! I then asked
paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE! I then asked HOW DO I
paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE! I then asked HOW DO I MINE FOR FISH?
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE! I then asked HOW DO I MINE FOR FISH? The locals seemed
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE! I then asked HOW DO I MINE FOR FISH? The locals seemed to desire my
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE! I then asked HOW DO I MINE FOR FISH? The locals seemed to desire my touch of death
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE! I then asked HOW DO I MINE FOR FISH? The locals seemed to desire my touch of death sandwich that I
I paunched the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE! I then asked HOW DO I MINE FOR FISH? The locals seemed to desire my touch of death sandwich that I shoved down my
I PAAANCHED the ironic maiden and told her to AYE AYE AYE caruba; I forgot to eat more fiber. My doctor said to consume 5 daily amounts of sinuous peanuts covered in CHEESE! I then asked HOW DO I MINE FOR FISH? The locals seemed to desire my touch of death sandwich that I shoved down my IS BURNING RED