"FUCK Inuyasha."
-Pantsman, Vgcats
"I did your mom."
Kyle, seven-year-old at camp
Quotes & Links
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Quote (God)
At school I was told I'd go blind if I masturbated. "Can't I do it just until I need glasses?" Next year, my mom took me to get glasses. Vaginas were dangerous. Father Mac said you could go to hell just by looking at one. You could suffer the lake of fire forever! I had got original sin from passing thru a vagina. Still I wanted to see one. In a male-worshipping society, I dare to proclaim the vagina sacred, the mother of all things. Every woman who spreads her legs is a priestess forming an altar. Her vagina is a beautiful flower blossoming. When kneeling between a woman's legs I'm at the altar of my God. I supplicate in adoration before the most sacred object in the world, the tabernacle of grace, the vestibule of wholeness, the crack of creativity. I'm in awe of the magic that flows from a yoni. All beings come into being thru a vagina! Men spend their entire lives trying to be as creative as a vagina! Freud talked about penis envy--I call this vagina envy.
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"Niiiii-iiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."
My tae kwon do instructor, lots of moves in one motion...
"Foooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."
Same thing
My tae kwon do instructor, lots of moves in one motion...
"Foooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."
Same thing
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"You don't go to a sword fight with a gun then bitch about how you can't parry."
-Kipdog the Awsome
-Kipdog the Awsome
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"How does it feel being a dumbass?"
"Of course!"
~My friend & the school dumbass~
"MUY BWWAAAAIIIIN!!!!"
~Shuryou~
"I lol'd"
~School Teacher~
"Of course!"
~My friend & the school dumbass~
"MUY BWWAAAAIIIIN!!!!"
~Shuryou~
"I lol'd"
~School Teacher~
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Quote (Arcan)
Me:
Hey god, wasup?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
I am an atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, .
Me:
What faith?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
But you said I should find it.
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
You just said it!
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
then what did you mean?
God:
, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
And you said what you meant?
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
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"Hey! I was raised to be charming, not sincere!" Prince Charming to Cindrella.
I fucking roflmaoed at this... Best. Line. Ever.
I fucking roflmaoed at this... Best. Line. Ever.
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It's the Bithlonian Babelwedge! But how? I disabled their anti-gravity rear thrusters! ~Tek Jansen
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Quote ()
Aim: Indeed
Zal: *quells the urge to make a momma crack*
Aim: Everyone does : D
Zal: Kind of like everyone does your momma >>
Aim: Like I quelled your momma's need to....
Aim: *shuts up*
Aim: But yeah, virus busting would be great
Aim: We'd bust them like I busted your mom >: D
Eon: Bah
Aim: /clap clap clap
Zal: I know alot about your mom's bust
Eon: Everyone wants to bust with seraphim far more
Eon: : D
Aim: .....
Zal: You have taken the inferior joke!
Aim: Correction: Seraphim wants to bust with everyone far more
Zal: Bad choice!
Aim: But your way is also true XD
Aim: Kind of like my mom took the inferior man when she... wait, I made a joke about my mom D:
Aim: ..........................
Aim: That didn't work
Zal: Kind of like your momma didn't work when I was working
Zal: That's correct! I just insulted your female parental unit's lovemaking ability!
Aim: .......
Aim: *wants to make a joke but can't think of anything that isn't directly restating what Zal just said*
ForteZanzo: http://whatisfmj.ytmnsfw.com/
Zal: Your mother was easy to pick up
Aim: I can't view it
Zal: I said "The word of the day is legs. It's time to spread the word!"
Aim: .............
Aim: I didn't have to say any words
Zal: Psh
Aim: Don't just "psh" me
ForteZanzo: Yami no Baka
Aim: Give me something to work with (don't say "like your mom?")
Zal: Your mother was more flexible then Robert De Niro's career
Aim: ..........
ForteZanzo: Your mom was less flexible than Paul Reuben's
Aim: Your mom was only mildy flexible, like Will Smith
Aim: Different comedies, but basically comedy
Zal: Your mother was like Ice Cube's career
Zal: Basically just sucked
Aim: Your mother was like Legend of Heroes for the PSP
Aim: Sucked in every way imaginable at once
Zal: Your mother was like the n-gage. I had to open her up just to change the game
Aim: Your mother was as bad as my old SNES. I had to move it around once I inserted it just to get a response.
Zal: Your mother was like halo 2
Zal: she dual wielded me all night
Aim: Your mother was also like halo 2
Aim: Covered in sticky
ForteZanzo: lol
Aim: This is Heat saying
Aim: Aim has NO class
Aim: *plays violin music*
Zal: Damn straight
Zal: Heat knows a winner when he sees one
Aim: ......
ForteZanzo: Your mom is like DBZ
Aim: *has a really lame joke*
Aim: *doesn't make it*
Zal: It takes 5 episodes to accomplish anything?
ForteZanzo: 5 minutes becomes an eternity
Zal: XD
Zal: same difference
Aim: lol'd
Aim: Your mom is like DBZ as well
Zal: Your mom was like a PSP
Aim: Needs the fusion dance to accompish much of anything
Zal: Nice to look at but poor functionality
ForteZanzo: Your mom is like Ash
ForteZanzo: had to catch them all
ForteZanzo:
Aim: She spit it out when you put it in, Zal
Zal: XD
Zal: Your mom was like a herd of idling donkeys
Zal: A whole lot of ass doing nothing
ForteZanzo: Your mom is like the DS
ForteZanzo: Two used ports.
ForteZanzo:
Aim: lolz
Valis: >.>
Zal: Your mom is like a nintendo handheld fan
Zal: Never satisfied until something smaller comes around
ForteZanzo: LOL
ForteZanzo: Your mom is like the Wii
ForteZanzo: overhyped and unresponsive
Zal: Your mom is like the PS3
Zal: the vibration features have been disabled
ForteZanzo: LOL
ForteZanzo: Your mom is also like the PS3
ForteZanzo: If you have to ask how much, you can't afford her
Zal: we're making history tonight, similar to how I did last night with your mom
Zal: XD
ForteZanzo: Aw, come on V
ForteZanzo: partake in the humor
ForteZanzo: Zal's mom partakes in pleanty with us
ForteZanzo:
Aim: Your mom's like DBZ: Budokai; she plays with over 100 guys and basically ends up stacked
Zal: Your mom had more holes then Window Vista's security
ForteZanzo: lol
Valis: I don't have anything to add honestly
ForteZanzo: D:
ForteZanzo: On an unrelated note
ForteZanzo: I saw a man bust two stacked granite blocks(each hand) with his fingers
Aim: ..........
Valis: nice
Aim: Must... resist... urge
ForteZanzo: like a palm strike, but with the fingers pointed out
Zal: I accomplished something similar with Aim's mom
ForteZanzo: lol
Zal: a video or live btw?
Valis: I've seen russian soldiers have brick smashing contests
Valis: using their faces
ForteZanzo: He also pierced an unopened can of cola with a two finger poke. Much like I did to Zal's mom.
ForteZanzo: Video btw
Zal: Your mom was like the PS3 I received through Fedex
Zal: damaged goods
Aim: Your mom was like the PS3 a bit too, actually
Aim: I took her out to the sidewalk
Aim: And bust her up, just to prove that I could
Zal: Your mom was like the xbox
Zal: she only had a few good games, and they all involved blood
Aim: DX
Aim: Ew
Valis: your mom's so fat she has built in handles like a gamecube
Valis: that's all I got >.>;
ForteZanzo: lol
Aim: Not bad, not bad
ForteZanzo: Your mom is like a GC. Compact.
ForteZanzo: Aim's mom is much like a Wii
Aim: Your mom is like the GC; I have to put it in a number of times, but once I hear the whirring start, I'm good
ForteZanzo: lots of bells and whistles
Aim: Heat's got one
Zal: Your mom and I share a SNES-gamer relationship. She has to blow me everytime she wants me to work.
ForteZanzo: lol
Aim: Your mom's like the gamecube; he can only think of a few good games to play
Aim: .....
Aim: XD
ForteZanzo: Your mom is like Heat
ForteZanzo: Lots of promises
Eon: ...
Eon: You're still doing this?
ForteZanzo: Eon's mom is like.....well, a nazi.
Zal: I think I'm the winner here so far
Aim: Your mother is also like Heat; always here in the room, but I don't want to do him
Zal: Um, that doesn't really work
Aim: Aw D:
Aim: Kind of like sex with ur mum :3
Valis: o.o;
Zal: A night with your mom is like a time share. Seems simple enough, but there are alot of hidden costs involved
ForteZanzo: lol
ForteZanzo: Your mom is like Megaman. Always using her tools.
Aim: Your mom is like Megaman at low health; she needs a tank badly
ForteZanzo: lol
ForteZanzo: Your mom is like goku.
ForteZanzo: She's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!!!!
ForteZanzo: Or "She's always hungry" would also suffice
Aim: Heat has another >___>;
Aim: But he says it doesn't work <.<
Zal: Your mom lasts as long as the interest of a audience watching RENT
Zal: less then one minute
Aim: Your mom is like General Tao; drug it out so long I had to use a grenade
Eon: >.>
Eon: You've said something like that twice now, zal
Zal: Your mom is like Nicholas Cage
Zal: She's gone in 60 seconds
Aim: Your mom is as bad as Megaman: if I don't pick up her head once in a while, she passes out for good.
Aim: That was Heat, by the way XD
Zal: I love the intellectual late night discussions
ForteZanzo: Eon is like Zal
Aim: Almost as much head put into these as I did your mom
Zal: Except far less handsome and one more syllable in his name
Zal: Actually, Eon completes me quite literally
ForteZanzo: much like your mom
Zal: My full screename is Zaleon
Aim: *gasp*
Aim: I never knew! /lie
Zal: Eon is like my twin, seperated at birth
Zal: We're destined to have a climactic showdown
Zal: At dawn!
Aim: I thought you were making a yo' momma joke
Zal: on a leap year!
Zal: Your mom is like a james bond movie
Eon: >.>
Zal: the only good part is the sex scene
ForteZanzo: Your mom gets laid about as often as I do
Aim: Aw, I like James Bond D:
ForteZanzo: It's a miracle you're even here.
Zal: Actually, I do too
Zal: I just wanted to say something to that end
Zal: Your mom is like a firewall
Aim: Your mom is also like a James Bond movie; it gets a lot worse as you submerge
Zal: I have to take a backdoor to get around it
Valis has left.
Zal: Your mom is like Halo 2
Zal: Better with multiplayer
ForteZanzo: lol
Aim: lolol
ForteZanzo: your mom is like Mr. Popo
ForteZanzo: thick lips.
Aim: Blurgle
Aim: Your mom is like Piccolo; likes to fuse with other green men
Zal: That's what your mom sounded like two minutes ago
Aim: Your mom's like Yamcha; not a valid character again until I stick my hand through
Aim: Ew <.<
Zal: Your mom's like my bank. Open weekdays 9-5
Zal: I regularly make deposits
Aim: Your mom is like Duo; too many fists at once
ForteZanzo: Your mom is like Dio
ForteZanzo: Yells a lot during climax.
Zal: Your mom is like WarioWare: she only stays on one game for about 3 seconds
Aim: Your mom is also like Alpha, the membrane's so tough it's not worth beating her
Aim: And also, she'd hungry enough to suck up Dr. Wily
ForteZanzo: Your moms like Predator
ForteZanzo: It's over if she takes the mask off
ForteZanzo:
Aim: Your mom is like the Alien; spews acid at the good part
ForteZanzo: lol
Zal: Your mom is like Phoenix Wright
Zal: Good the first time but has no replay value
Zal: someone save these all before they're gone forever
Aim: Your mom is like ruins in Megaman Legends; she's dried up, but people still dig inside her
Zal: Save them for great justice Aim~
Aim: Save these? To my computer? XD
Zal: yes
Aim: No wai
Zal: in a discreet txt file
Aim: You do it D:
Aim: You're not going to show that around, are you? XD
Zal: of course
Aim: .... ;~;
Aim: Well, no matter how many men see it, more are seeing your mom
Aim: So I guess it's okay
Zal: bah, I can't seem to copy paste this stuff
Zal: so I'll have to rely on zanzo for the goods
Aim: You've got to copy by highlighting it and pressing control + c
Aim: And I'll rely on your mom for the goods, thank you
Zal: I'm doing so
ForteZanzo: you bet your ass I'm showing this around
Zal: post it up in quotes >>
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"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously." -Hubert Humphrey
"Public opinion is a compound of folly, weakness, prejudice, wrong feeling, right feeling, obstinacy, and newspaper paragraphs." -Robert Peel
Damn... I should look through my quotationary more often.
"Public opinion is a compound of folly, weakness, prejudice, wrong feeling, right feeling, obstinacy, and newspaper paragraphs." -Robert Peel
Damn... I should look through my quotationary more often.
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Quote (Groucho Marx)
Excuse me while I have a strange interlude.
The Marx Brothers are pure funny. But most of it has to be taken in context...
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Quote (Groucho Marx)
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Dear god. I completely forgot about quoting the Marx Brothers...
Quote (VGCats)
Leo: I tie the rat's tail to a stick.
Aeris: What?!
Leo: It's a Rat-Flail.
THE RAT FLAIL!
Quote (Order of the Stick)
This is Banjo, God of Puppets! But he needs more followers. Will you worship Banjo?
Will YOU?
Quote (At my School)
Kid #1: If PRO is the opposite of CON, what's the opposite of PROgress?
Kid #2: *confused* Congress?
Kid #1: *lol*
God. That was just so perfectly timed. We were having a debate about the government in my history class...
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Found this on Guild Wars during the Lunar Festival when you use a Lunar Fortune:
"We must prepare for the coming of Banjo the Clown, God of Puppets."
Didn't think THAT would show up.
"We must prepare for the coming of Banjo the Clown, God of Puppets."
Didn't think THAT would show up.
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Quote (Strikeman)
Found this on Guild Wars during the Lunar Festival when you use a Lunar Fortune:
"We must prepare for the coming of Banjo the Clown, God of Puppets."
Didn't think THAT would show up.
WOOT!!!! BANJO!!!!
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Quote ()
My friend: I wish my life was like a musical, then everyone would break into song randomly and instantly know the lyrics.
Me: LOL That's a great idea, but it's kind of pointless...
My Friend: Why?
Me: I wish my life was like anime, everybody would grow several times taller when they're angry and have random weird expressions on their faces all the time.
My Friend: OMG So awesome!
I love my conversations with my friend.