A Jarring Feeling

In a blue flash, ZephyrMan took what basically amounted to his first steps on the Net proper. He looked around, taking in the scenery. "Hmm...this statue's space on the Net even feels old! They certainly went all out to make it look antique!"

"Yeah...wonder why? I mean, it's just a statue that lets you jack in from here."

"I suppose it's a mystery. But we didn't jack in for that purpose. ...By the way, I just want to make sure...you're certain you're up for this?"

"Well, I have a small headache, still...but it's not severe. So long as we don't get in any battles where I have to think TOO hard, I'll be fine!"

"Hmm. If you say so! Very well, onward!" Punching the air in excitement, the wind Navi went on his way, in search of some foes.

(Searching for Battle #1)

The net had a sort of stagnant smell; apparently, not many people thought to jack in here. It didn't take long for ZephyrMan to come upon his first virus group. A single Boomer turned its perpetual scowl towards him, then began silently stalking him. Nearby, a rumbling came from two pots. Could it be... POTDRAGONS?!

As little bubbles rise and fell from each of the pots, it soon became clear that the antiques were not hiding PotDragons, but rather, Snoozies.

ZephyrMan: 150 HP

Snoozy A: 60 HP (inside Pot A )
Snoozy B: 60 HP (inside Pot B )
Boomer: 60 HP

Pot A: 5 HP (left side of Boomer)
Pot B: 5 HP (right side of Boomer)

Terrain: 100% Normal

--BATTLE 1 START--

Hmm...Boomer he knew, but whatever was in the pots was beyond ZephyrMan's area of expertise. He had heard of dragons that resided in them, but...he couldn't shake the feeling that the comical sleep bubbles ruled that out. "Hmm...what does the PET say about the pots, Ariel?"

"Um...says they have viruses called Snoozy in them. They have HP read outs...wonder what that means?"

"I suspect that means they can they be broken! Now, send forth the chip that can smash anything!"

"...I have to do it manually now?"

"Yes, of course! We need to become in sync with each other during battle! The only reason I set up the system last night was because you were too drunk to physically transfer the chips!"

"Oh...sorry! The one that can smash anything...oh, this one!" Granted, there was only one that was really an option...but the pilot was able to figure it out. A good sign she'd recover fairly rapidly. "BattleChip, DrillArm! Slot in!"

The wind Navi's hand vanished, and was promptly replaced with a long drill, though it had yet to be powered on. He rushed over to the twin jars (or at least as fast as a Navi with a tornado for a lower body could rush), and after manipulating them with winds to where they practically touched each other, allowed his weapon to start rotating at high speed, and performed the arduous task of spearing a pair of inanimate objects at once. Hey, it was harder than it would seem to an outside observer. After lasting just long enough to potentially shred apart the pots and the viruses within, the drill faded into oblivion.

"Yay! Two down! ...About the other one. Doesn't Boomer have some special property or something? Like, it can reflect attacks or something?"

"Indeed! However, there ARE ways around it...ho ho!" ZephyrMan leapt into the air, doing a half-twist action in the process, and landing perfectly on the tip of his whirlwind, aiming for directly behind the Boomer. His altitude calculating program at work. Sometimes, being a Navi designed to assist in aerial transport was awesome. "Now, send something of overwhelming power!"

"Show off!" Well, the chip was pretty easy to figure out, at least. Fancy colored Cannon chip, in! "Here ya go! BattleChip, HiCannon! Slot in!"

A blue cannon formed on the blue Navi's arm, which was promptly pointed towards the orb in the center of the clothespin virus. Almost immediately afterward, a laser intense blast shot from the weapon, to try and penetrate its weak point in one fell swoop. But just in case, he put a small amount of distance between him and the location of the enemy, preparing to avoid any boomerangs, or...whatever the world those 'Snoozy' viruses did. For some reason, the virus shrouded in mystery frightened him much more than the one he could see before him, even if the name and bubbles were absolutely ridiculous.

[Order of Turn:
0-Gust subtype ability on PotA (get the Pots right next to each other)
1-DrillArm1 chip attack on SnoozyA and SnoozyB (60, Break, Knockback, Long Attack)
2-Jump behind Boomer virus (Airstep subtype ability used)
3-HiCannon chip attack on Boomer (80, Knockback)
4-Dodge]

ZephyrMan's attempt to reorder the Pots together...came as a failure as the Boomer between the pots didn't exactly allow them to be in contact with one another. As the Drillarm began to break through pot easily and exposed the Snoozy inside, leaving it wide open for the continuous attack from the Drillarm. The Boomer was able to escape soundly from the devastating drill, but it didn't expect the half-tornado half-oldman to suddenly leap above and delete it with a single shot.

Though ZephyrMan was doing great, the lone Snoozy suddenly teleported behind the navi and gave it a quick smack with its pillow. The navi was suddenly overcame with heavy drowsiness up to the point where he couldn't help but to close his eyes...

Snoozy A: DELETED
Snoozy B: 60 HP (inside Pot B )
Boomer: DELETED

Pot A: DESTROYED
Pot B: 5 HP (right side of Boomer)

Terrain: 100% Normal

ZephyrMan: 135 HP [Sleep]

"...Zzz..." There was no other way to put it. ZephyrMan had fallen asleep on the job. Sure, it wasn't his fault, but...well, he was asleep either way.

"Hey, why'd you fall asleep?! Wake up!" It wasn't like her Navi at all to do something that irresponsible. That virus must've done it, somehow..."Um...so...how do I wake him up? Oh, wait, I can just yell really loudly to wake him! WA-agh!!!" Ariel's head began to pound the instant she raised her voice, preventing that plan from possibly working. "...I can't think of any other way...I guess I have to wait for him to wake up...that does wear off, right?"

"...Zzz..."

"Ugh...boring! There's just nothing I can do, though..." So, time for her to become bored for a little bit...

[Order of Turn:
1-4: Wait for ZephyrMan to wake up (dodge if woken early somehow)]

The whole time ZephyrMan was taking his nap, the Snoozy peaked out of its Pot, only to stare at the sleeping navi the whole time. When ZephyrMan finally snapped out of his slumber, the virus retreated back to its pot, awaiting for the chance to swing its pillow once more!

Snoozy A: DELETED
Snoozy B: 60 HP (inside Pot B )
Boomer: DELETED

Pot A: DESTROYED
Pot B: 5 HP (right side of Boomer's carcass)

Terrain: 100% Normal

ZephyrMan: 135 HP [Awakened!]

Upon waking up, ZephyrMan reached out stretched, letting out a big yawn...though somehow, his beard blocked view of his mouth during it. Seriously, how did it do that? "Mmm, I feel quite refreshed!...Wait, this is a battle! How did I let myself do that?!"

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think it was your fault...it only happened after that virus hit you!"

"Yes...it hit me with its pillow, and suddenly I was out like a light! I suppose it has the ability to make things sleep..."

"At least it didn't attack you while you were asleep!"

"Indeed. But..." The wind Navi made his way to the remaining pot, resisting the sudden urge to peer in despite knowing its contents. "...Actually, never mind. I believe I can end this without moving another inch! I believe you know of what I speak of!"

"Hang on, hungover brain cells restarting...aha!" They still had several chips that involved not moving, but only one of them involved directly damaging an enemy. Thanks to this fact, even the hungover could deduce what chip was needed. "Here ya go! BattleChip, RingZap2! Slot in!"

Two spheres of electricity emerged from ZephyrMan's arms, and began to spin around him, zapping whatever got in their way. He looked upon the pot in front of him, hoping that it wasn't somehow immune to electricity. Though if the other one was any indication, it wasn't exactly made of rubber...

[Order of Turn:
1-Get in Melee range of PotB
2-RingZap2 chip attack on ZephyrMan (40, Elec, damages all enemies for each action within Melee range)
3-Dodge
4-Dodge]

ZephyrMan's floating pairs of bawlspheres began to crack down on the lone Snoozy's defense, shattering the Pot with one rotation while the next instantly zapped the white blob into charred bits and pieces!

Snoozy A: DELETED
Snoozy B: DELETED
Boomer: DELETED

Pot A: DESTROYED
Pot B: DESTROYED

Terrain: 100% Normal

ZephyrMan: 135 HP

-BATTLE WON!-
260z

Ah, he was able to avoid the clutches of sleep striking again. Good...that would've been embarrassing. Shaking that thought off, ZephyrMan gathered the newly formed money data, and transferred it immediately. "Well, that was...interesting."

"Guess you learn something new every day! And we are at DenTech, after all! Hee hee!"

"Indeed! So, shall I continue?"

"Sure! I mean, I don't feel any worse, and the better we are at virus busting, the more surprised everyone will be tomorrow when we do our virus scan all by ourselves!"

"Ho ho! I can hardly wait! But as you said, it wouldn't hurt to be better by then!" The wind Navi began to float along, continuing the quest of finding and destroying enemies.

(Searching for Battle #2)

ZephyrMan continued forth, only to find his path suddenly blocked by some sort of bizarre routing system. A large, flashing sign directed him rightward; it moved along with him, so as not to allow him to go anywhere else. Annoying! ZephyrMan was forced into a detour.

Unfortunately, that detour left him standing on some thin-looking glass. Piranha viruses, amusingly hung from the ceiling and covered in dust, suddenly flopped down onto the ground. The viruses pointed their spears at him menacingly, satisfied that they had gotten the drop on him quite literally.

An ironshield virus turned slowly. It couldn't really show any expression of menace, but ZephyrMan had a feeling it wasn't feeling any friendlier than the fish surrounding him.

Piranha A: 60 HP (leftward) (glass)
Piranha B: 60 HP (rightward) (glass)
Piranha C: 60 HP (forward)
Ironshield: 120 HP (forward) (1 action away)

Terrain: 50% Glass near ZephyrMan and out to both sides, 50% Normal ahead

ZephyrMan: 135 HP (glass)

--BATTLE 2 START--

The wind Navi looked upon his newest foes, a trio of fish and a tank-like thing. Nothing overly special about them, aside from the latter's size and shield. "Well, this could prove a bit trickier! Perhaps we could have a fish fry afterwards"

"Eh, you know I'm not much for fish..."

"Then it's a good thing you won't be eating them, eh?" Hmm...perhaps it was just because it was larger, but the IronShield was making him a bit uncomfortable. Maybe he should deal with it first? Granted, it was a fair distance away, but..."Ah, I've figured a plan."

"Well don't wait for me to think of anything better. Let's do it! What do you need?"

"For now, just the DrillArm should suffice."

"You like that chip, don't you?" Not she could blame him...it seemed like a really tough attack. "BattleChip, DrillArm! Slot in!"

"Indeed, I do!" ZephyrMan's lower whirlwind began to spin at incredible speed, causing him to rocket into the sky. As his altitude climbed, his raised his arm, and his right hand transformed, becoming the large drill he enjoyed so much. He then looked down on the battlefield, picking out what was by far the largest enemy, and began to dive down towards it. His drill was pointed downward, allowing him to appear as though he were penetrating the sky itself on his way down. Of more importance to his mind, however, was penetrating the virus's formidable shielding. After landing, either on the IronShield as planned, or if he missed it somehow and hit the ground instead, he attempted to put some space between him and the Piranha group, not wanting to fall victim to their lances.

Hmm...now, what to do with them offensively. He had an idea on how to attack, but...aha, he knew what to do. "Ah, I'll need another BattleChip! Send forth the Fan!"

"Fan? I'm on it!" Luckily, Fan was easy to locate, thanks to its highly intuitive picture of a large fan blowing. "BattleChip, Fan! Slot in!"

A VacuumFan appeared in front of the Navi, pointed towards the aquatic viruses, and immediately began to create a large vortex strong enough to suck in just about anything, even floating fish. Surviving giant metal creatures, on the other hand...possibly not so much. But with any luck, that wouldn't be an issue now.

[Order of Turn:
1-Airstep subtype ability (grants temporary High Altitude status)
2-DrillArm1 chip attack on IronShield (60, Break, Knockback, hits twice)
3-Dodge
4-Fan chip (100 HP object, pulls enemies closer for 3 turns)]

ZephyrMan's drill dive was a success, despite the many factors that could've contributed to its failure, and deleted the Ironshield on the spot. The Fan that was summoned next began to pull the Piranha viruses together to a single spot, but the viruses weren't going down without any sort of struggle as they began to fire their tridents. Only one of the nine that was fired at ZephyrMan actually hit, while the others missed or hit the Fan instead...

Piranha A: 60 HP [Front of Fan]
Piranha B: 60 HP [Front of Fan]
Piranha C: 60 HP [Front of Fan]
Ironshield: DELETED

Terrain: 50% Glass near ZephyrMan and out to both sides, 50% Normal ahead

ZephyrMan: 130 HP (glass)
Fan: 90 HP

Despite the masses of needles fired at him, ZephyrMan found himself in remarkably good shape...hardly any worse for wear, in fact. "Ho ho! Seems that went to perfection!"

"Way to rip that big one apart like that! And I guess you drew in all the others for RingZap?"

"Indeed I did! Send forth it and some extra security, and the battle shall be as good as won!"

"Okay! Sitting around talking won't delete them, so here!" RingZap, obvious. And that security...she presumed he meant defense, which could only mean one chip. "BattleChip, RingZap2! BattleChip, Guard! Double slot in!"

The wind Navi floated over in front of the VacuumFan he created, where the Piranha were clumped up from the suction wind. Not wanting to waste time that could be spent ensuring his victory, he activated his weapons, first creating a pair of electrical sparks that spun around him, seeking out anything not called 'ZephyrMan.EXE' that drew near them. And just in case, a yellow shield with a green cross appeared in front of him, allowing to be both offensive and defensive, without even having to budge another inch...

[Order of Turn:
1-Get in Melee range of Piranhas
2-RingZap2 chip attack on ZephyrMan (40, Elec, damages all enemies in Melee range of user for every action spent)
3-Guard1 chip on ZephyrMan (60-, blocks and reflects one attack)
4-Dodge]

Using his patent-pending technique of electrifying everything within range of his thunderous touch, ZephyrMan went towards the Piranhas, which promptly retreated at the sight of very dangerous-looking sparks. Unfortunately, two got caught and was zapped painfully and completely. The last one was fine, though, and unloaded some arrows at him. One was reflected off his Guard, another lodged itself in his arm, the last missed. (5)

Piranha A: DELETED
Piranha B: 55 HP [Front of Fan]
Piranha C: DELETED
Ironshield: DELETED

Terrain: 50% Glass near ZephyrMan and out to both sides, 50% Normal ahead

ZephyrMan: 125 HP (glass)
Fan: 90 HP

"...Gah!" Well, this was a first. He'd probably laugh at it after the battle, but to have RingZap fail so utterly, even against one virus...ZephyrMan was simply aghast. "What terrible luck..."

"...Wooooooow. That fucking sucks!" And as always, Ariel showed keen insight on the matter.

"Indeed...send forth chips that defeat the remaining Piranha in a single hit!"

"Roger!" Okay, let's see...Thunder wasn't strong on its own, but since Elec beat Aqua, it'd work...and so would HiCannon, thanks to its high damage rating. DoubleNeedle could work, but it'd need both hits to do so, and, uh, now was probably not a good time to press their luck. "This should work! BattleChip, Thunder! BattleChip, HiCannon! Double slot in!"

The wind Navi extended both of his arms forward, as each of his hands transformed into weaponry: his right hand became a blue cannon, and the left hand became an odd apparatus with twin electrical coils extending from it. The latter was utilized first, and crackled with electricity that condensed itself into a sphere, and shot forth from the device. It wasn't the fastest of moves, but at least even if it didn't work this time, it could home in on the virus's electrical signature...which was extremely ironic given the circumstances.

Not that he was done, of course. He proceeded to attempt to line up the Piranha with his more powerful weapon, then fired a single, powerful shot from the Canodumb2 head on his hand. With any luck, one of the two attacks would hit its mark, but considering what happened previously, it would probably be wise to remain cautious, just in case the unthinkable happened again...

[Order of Turn:
1-Thunder1 chip attack on PiranhaB (40, Elec, Stun, Homing)
2-HiCannon chip attack on PiranhaB (80, Knockback)
3-Dodge
4-Dodge]

Charred piranha for lunch... not so tasty. Maybe ZephyrMan shouldn't have blasted it with 80 units of pure energy. Oh well.

Piranha A: DELETED
Piranha B: DELETED
Piranha C: DELETED
Ironshield: DELETED

Terrain: 50% Glass near ZephyrMan and out to both sides, 50% Normal ahead

ZephyrMan: 125 HP (glass)
Fan: 90 HP

-- BATTLE 02, VICTORY!! --

-- REWARDS --
[IronShield1] Battlechip, 360z

As the energy blasts destroyed the last virus, Ariel leapt in joy from her seat, allowing her breasts to jiggle momentarily. Surprisingly, she noticed this, but wasn't overly happy about it. "That's right, I'm not wearing a bra, am I? Guess I should be a little more careful...I mean, if they bounce around a little, that's perfectly normal. I'm a happy, healthy woman. But if I let them do that every waking minutes, I just look like a total whore. And I don't mind being a little slutty, but there's definitely a line-"

A cool gust of wind blew, interrupting the thought as every last inch of her body felt slightly chilly. The pilot then noticed something, and looked down, seeing two small bumps emerge from her two large ones. "...Oh, shit! I totally forgot about this...this is why I always wear a bra with this! If I don't, all I have to do is get even a little cold, and boom, nipples for everyone! Seriously, I might as well be topless! And that top I put on under my flight suit isn't helping at all!...Okay, maybe a little, but if anyone walked by with good light, they'd see...well, me! Damnit dammit dammit!!...Ugh, and now they're starting to rub against my clothes, and it's totally turning me on...fucking wind, why'd it have to be so cold?! I have other things to do besides getting all hot in a public place!"

Meanwhile, blissfully unaware at his operator's predicament, ZephyrMan scooped up and transferred the leftover data, then continued on, though a bit curious about why she wasn't saying anything about the new chip they had received...

(Searching for Battle #3)

As ZephyrMan traveled across the network, a similar breeze of wind came over him as the rustling of bushes could be heard just ahead of him. Despite making a pleasant sound, it really wasn't pleasant at all when viruses popped out from these bushes one by one. Scattered far away from one another, few viruses took shelter behind these strange, yet sturdy looking bushes!

GunnerA: 60 HP [Behind BushA]
GunnerB: 60 HP
GunnerC: 60 HP
BombCornA: 70 HP [Behind BushB]
BombCornB: 70 HP [Behind BushC]
WuNote: 130 HP [Inside Bush A]

Terrain: 100% Grass

ZephyrMan: 125 HP

-BATTLE THREE, START!-

As ZephyrMan approached his newest group of foes, his operator suddenly snapped from her own little world, realizing something. "Hey, ZephyrMan. I think that's enough for now. Let's head out, okay?"

"Er, I'd love to comply, but that's a bit hard to do..." Gunner, BombCorn, and WuNote...this probably wouldn't be the easiest of battles.

"How do you figure? It doesn't even look like any of those things can move! Well, maybe the corn things, but other than that, you should be able to get away from them, no problem!"

...Hmm. She had a point. They looked tough, but didn't seem very mobile. "...Very well then! I dislike simply fleeing like this, but if it's what you want!"

"Oh, right! I bet you can use this to speed away in a hurry!" BattleChip capable of much movement, in! "BattleChip, AirShot! Slot in!"

A blue gun formed over the wind Navi's arm, which was pointed towards the enemies, though oddly, none in particular. He fired it, creating an air bullet that blasted forward...and sent him sailing backwards. But this was all part of the plan, as he used it as momentum to begin fleeing the scene...

[Order of Turn:
1-AirShot1 chip to propel ZephyrMan away from enemies (20, Microburst)
2-4-Escape]

BLAHBLAHBLAHESCAPEALMOSTFAILEDBECAUSEIWANTEDTOMAKETHINGSMOREDRAMATICBUTZEPHYRMANAGEDTOESCAPE.

GunnerA: 60 HP [Behind BushA]
GunnerB: 60 HP
GunnerC: 60 HP
BombCornA: 70 HP [Behind BushB]
BombCornB: 70 HP [Behind BushC]
WuNote: 130 HP [Inside Bush A]

Terrain: 100% Grass

ZephyrMan: JACK OUT

-ESCAPED!-