Kiyo and Sozo.exe
last edited by
By which I mean some tips on how to improve your registration. Bit of a read, but try to bear with it. Don't worry, we don't bite. : D
1) Grammar 101!
- Capitalization is normally at the start of a sentence. You don't need to capitalize everything, except names and such.
- There is a space after a comma.
- "He is" is condensed into "He's", with that ' thing.
2) Description 102!
- Generally, we have a "realistic" type of character standard for operators. It's fine to have silver hair and red eyes, we can just call him an albino or something if he didn't dye his hair and wear contacts. That might be interesting. We don't have an albino yet.
- 119 centimeters is the average height of a 7 year old, and 132 for a 9 year old. At least, that is, by a quick Google. Normally, Kiyo and Sozo would be considered quite short. And fat. ... Unless that is what you're going for. A chubby ninja Navi sounds like an amusing character to RP, honestly. (Try googling "height and weight charts with age".) (Lazy? Average 15: 170cm, 130lbs.)
- Technically, the EXE world doesn't have a real-world setting. Japan, the Philippines, et cetera, do not exist. Generally, I'd assume Electopia to be the EXE equivalent of Japan, and maybe Yumland as the Philippines.
- "Tsundere" can be described as "rough to those he is unfamiliar with, but friendly to those he gets to know." Sure, everyone knows the term, but hey, doesn't hurt to be descriptive.
- A white star or a white start?
- A "cyber-style ninja armor" sounds neat. Is it black? Is it heavily armored? Does he wear pants or is it one piece? Are there straps everywhere?
- Katanas are cool. How do they attach to his body? Does he have them tied to his back in their sheaths or something?
3) Signature Attacks 103!
- Why would I type it all out here when you can just click me?
4) General Helpful Places 104!
- The chat is a very nice place. You should go there, it's got nice people. We can help you. In REAL-TIME. Which is nice.
5) Oh god why would you do that, Sparta log. That is terrifying. I don't want to drive any more. ;_;
Anyway, as it is, this reg is okay. Though why you have height and weight in "Personality" is a bit strange. :'D
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We welcome new members with open arms. I can't even approve or disapprove you anyway, just giving out a few pointers to help a new guy out. ^^
Oh, if you want to try getting into the chat, try updating Java or using different browsers. It's a tiny bit finicky to get working. Kind of tsundere.
Oh, if you want to try getting into the chat, try updating Java or using different browsers. It's a tiny bit finicky to get working. Kind of tsundere.
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- Still missing your signature attack's description, damage, etc.
- You have your Navi/NetOp's height/weight in their personality
- Your descriptions are still lacking, please heed Fera's advice, and read through his suggestions.
- You have your Navi/NetOp's height/weight in their personality
- Your descriptions are still lacking, please heed Fera's advice, and read through his suggestions.
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Still looks like you didn't fully read Fera's guidance...
Kiyo's Description:
- Japan and the Philippines don't exist in the Rockman EXE universe. The "equivalents" for those countries would be Electopia and Yumland
Signature Attack:
- Battling here is more like the Rockman EXE anime than the games, you don't fight on a 6x3 grid.
- READ THE SIG ATTACK RULES
-- try something like this: Bloody Cross: Sozo dashes in and slashes an enemy, dealing damage and causing his target to "bleed" for several turns afterwards
(20dmg Slashing + 20dmg for next 2 turns + 2 Turn Cool Down) (60pts)
[^initial attack]---[^"bleeding" for 2 turns]---[^cooldown]-------[^total point cost]
Kiyo's Description:
- Japan and the Philippines don't exist in the Rockman EXE universe. The "equivalents" for those countries would be Electopia and Yumland
Signature Attack:
- Battling here is more like the Rockman EXE anime than the games, you don't fight on a 6x3 grid.
- READ THE SIG ATTACK RULES
-- try something like this: Bloody Cross: Sozo dashes in and slashes an enemy, dealing damage and causing his target to "bleed" for several turns afterwards
(20dmg Slashing + 20dmg for next 2 turns + 2 Turn Cool Down) (60pts)
[^initial attack]---[^"bleeding" for 2 turns]---[^cooldown]-------[^total point cost]
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The grammar is quite a bit off, and the descriptions are pretty light, but you should be able to improve later on.
APPROVED
GET CHIPS: Cannon x1, Shotgun x1, RageClaw1 x1
GET SUBCHIPS: MiniEnergy x2
GET NCP: Undershirt, Shield
Please post your NetOp and your Navi in the appropriate databases, then create your forum signature. Once you're done with that, feel free to start RPing.
APPROVED
GET CHIPS: Cannon x1, Shotgun x1, RageClaw1 x1
GET SUBCHIPS: MiniEnergy x2
GET NCP: Undershirt, Shield
Please post your NetOp and your Navi in the appropriate databases, then create your forum signature. Once you're done with that, feel free to start RPing.