A Sworded Affair

Beam of gray light. Navi appearing from said light. Blah blah blah. All it was doing was keeping SharpMan from tearing things up. "About time! All transferred, Hector! Now lemme go carve some viruses!"

"All set here. Start searching at will."

Without any other response, the bladed Navi dashed into the network, eager to lighten its burden by a few megabytes.

(Searching for Battle #1)

Beam of gray light. Navi appearing from said light into a thick forested area. Blah blah blah. Anyway, he found himself rather impeded by some of the larger trees. Some shuffling bushes nearby made him go on alert, and he barely managed to avoid some strange sticks that jutted out at him suddenly. He found that it was some viruses that were hiding behind some bushes, which were of the WoodNote variety.

-- ENEMIES --
WuNote A: 130 HP [Behind Bush 1]
WuNote B: 130 HP [Behind Bush 4]
WuNote C: 130 HP [Behind Bush 7]

-- OBJECTS --
Bush 1-9: 1 HP x9 (Scattered out randomly)

-- NAVIGATOR --
SharpMan.EXE: 150 HP

-- TERRAIN --
100% Forest (Grass, trees impede movement/dodge by 1 rank for all combatants)

-- BATTLE 01, READY? START!! --

WuNote...a virus that was good for repeatedly tearing at. But, all those bushes and trees were in the way...it wouldn't be nearly as fun with all that. "Hector! I'm bailing on this fight!" With the announcement to his operator made, SharpMan turned around and began racing away from the wooden viruses, trying to make sure he avoided any trees in his way...sentient or otherwise.

[Order of Turn:
1-4: Escape battle]

Wuss.

[Escape Successful]

Hmph. Not how he wanted his first battle to turn out...but whatever. He wanted mindless destruction, and it would be difficult to remain mindless under those circumstances. Shaking his head, SharpMan continued in the opposite direction, seeking a new source of dismemberment for fun and prizes.

(Searching for Battle #1...again)

Fine, you get mindless destruction, you wuss.

SharpMan found himself on a route that led straight out of the forested area, leading into a wide, blank expanse of nothing. Some Needlers were running about a path cleared out through the grass, apparently searching for something. They beeped and whirred when they detected SharpMan's presence, probably indicating their hostilities or something. Kind of hard to tell with expressionless robotic viruses.

-- ENEMIES --
Needler A: 70 HP (Soil)
Needler B: 70 HP (Soil)
Needler C: 70 HP (Soil)

-- NAVIGATOR --
SharpMan.EXE: 150 HP (Soil)

-- TERRAIN --
40% Soil (Pathway through the plains)
60% Grass (Wiiiiide open space)

-- BATTLE 01, RESTART!! --

Viruses. And nothing to get in his way. Excellent. "Heh heh heh...finally...something I can utterly destroy with no distractions or regard for anything! Hector, let's begin!"

"Very well. We'll go for the kill immediately this time, since you're clearly not suited for anything other than blades. But first..." First, he really ought to make sure SharpMan's mind was focused. And oddly, he had just the chip for it. "BattleChip, PanelGrab! Slot in!"

A square shape appeared around the Navi, providing an outline of the very panel he stood on. This outline soon covered him in light, and emitted a weak flash throughout the battlefield. As the light returned to normal, SharpMan could sense that his senses were slightly different, almost as if the ground was part of him now. He could feel what it felt, see what it could see...or something like that. All he really cared about was that he was pretty sure he'd be more precise with his attacks now.

"Feeling more focused now? Good. Then before you go in, we'll try and cut them from a distance. BattleChip, Boomerang! Slot in!"

The bladed Navi's right hand transformed, becoming an odd apparatus vaguely resembling a Boomer's mouth. Clenched in it was a large wooden boomerang, ready to be thrown with less-than-reckless abandon. He reared back slightly, figuring out how he should aim with it, then sidearmed the weapon forward, releasing the projectile. It arced with surprising elegance as it spun forward to try and hit the trio of machine viruses, an oddity for a Navi bent on semi-blind destruction. It eventually curved, as if to return to him, but before it could reach him, it simply faded into nothing. "Not enough! I want...to go ALL OUT!"

"All out...well, since you mostly behaved well in the mission, I don't see why not." Time for their ultimate chip...sort of. It certainly was for a battle that wouldn't take long, however. "BattleChip, WideBlade! Slot in!"

All four of SharpMan's arm blades became drenched in a golden aura, as they became infused with the chip's power. He raced up to the Needlers, and with a great deal of might, slashed at them with his left arm, causing him to hop into the air slightly as he spun around...and proceeded to deliver a potentially unnecessary, yet incredibly deadly, rending with his right arm blades. Even the grim reaper would be forced to raise an eyebrow, as the sickle-like edges tore through whatever was in their way, be it machine virus, air, earth, anything. It wouldn't be surprising if the very air suffered a scar from the force. And as if the force wasn't bad enough, the Navi was now nicely positioned to try and dodge any retaliatory needles, provided any had managed to survive that onslaught. Either way, he was grinning, happy that he was able to swing with every last bit of power without worry of hitting something he wasn't supposed to.

[Order of Turn:
1-PanelGrab chip on SharpMan (S, Accuracy UP)
2-Boomerang1 chip attack on NeedlerA, NeedlerB, and NeedlerC (60, Wood, A, Arc Attack)
3-WideBlade chip attack on NeedlerA, NeedlerB, and NeedlerC (110, A+, Slashing, Wide Attack)
4-WideBlade chip attack on NeedlerA, NeedlerB, and NeedlerC (110, A+, Slashing, Wide Attack)
4a-Swordplay subtype ability (passive dodge)]

Slicing up things. Yaaaaay mindless destruction.

-- ENEMIES --
Needler A: DELETED
Needler B: DELETED
Needler C: DELETED

-- NAVIGATOR --
SharpMan.EXE: 150 HP (Soil)

-- TERRAIN --
30% Soil, 10% Grass (Pathway through the plains)
60% Grass (Wiiiiide open space)

-- BATTLE 01, VICTORY!! --

-- REWARDS --
[NeedleCannon1] Battlechip, 300z

"Bwahahahaha!! That was pathetically easy!" With a snap of SharpMan's fingers, the spoils of the battle left the Net, en route to the connected PET. "Heh, that BattleChip data...it came from a virus, but its data signature was almost like that of a Navi. Guess what that means we got?"

"I see you've gotten some of your mind back." ...Hmm, NeedleCannon. Not too shabby. At least SharpMan would probably complain less about firing off sharp pointy needles instead of explosive corn. "So, is it out of your system yet, or do you need more?"

"I always need more! But, I think I can face the world again without wanting to cut it apart!"

"That's not a vague answer at all."

"Honestly? I'd rather keep going. I haven't gotten a shot to test out our shiny new CustomSword chip yet!"

"All right then. Keep going at will."

"Oh, I will!" And going he was. Not wanting to wait for long, the bladed Navi dashed ahead, seeking more enemies.

(Searching for Battle #2)

Moving along for more mindless destruction and stuff, SharpMan continued on the road, finding more viruses for him to mindlessly slaughter. Two Elmperors sat in front of him, one directly, one far away. There was also a stray group of Skeeters, which buzzed up from his right, thirsting for Navi blood.

-- ENEMIES --
Elmperor A: 100 HP [Lava]
Elmperor B: 100 HP [Lava]
Skeeter A: 30 HP [Flying/Grass]
Skeeter B: 30 HP [Flying/Grass]
Skeeter C: 30 HP [Flying/Grass]

-- NAVIGATOR --
SharpMan.EXE: 150 HP [Soil]

-- TERRAIN --
40% Soil (Pathway)
10% Lava (Patches of lava in road)
50% Grass (Still wide open space)

-- BATTLE 02, READY? START!! --

Oh, good, more enemies to tear apart. And again, there was nothing to get in his way. Also good. "I'm more than ready! Whatever plan you've got, let's do it!"

"First, we should wipe out the Elemperor, as their attacks are...less than pleasant for you in this environment. But you can do that very easily with this." Single BattleChip, inserted. "BattleChip, AquaKnife! Slot in!"

The blades on SharpMan's arms glowed blue, as water energy poured into them. As he looked at the immobile viruses, however, he only extended each arm's lower edge, giving himself an odd, praying mantis-like look. He rushed over to one of the magic lamps, and swiped powerfully at it with his weapon, reaping what the cyberworld had sowed for him. Continuing forward, he repeated the process on the other turban wearing virus, seeking to use its own terrain against it with a water infused shredding.

With the second attack complete, the bladed Navi used its momentum to take a sidestep from...something. Magical fire from an Elemperor mad at trying to be killed? Charging mosquitoes that thirsted for his blood? The dreaded thin air, seeking to make him look incredibly foolish with a sucker punch? One of the three was coming, and he knew enough to get out of the way. Of course, by no means was he done with the offensive. "So, how shall we squish the bugs? Boomerang? WideBlade? Wait and CustomSword?"

"None of the above. We can't have your aim getting overly rusty just yet, you know." More chip related fun...but this time, it was something the Navi didn't like so much. "BattleChip, CornShot! Double slot in!"

"CornShot?! Urgh!!" The color faded from his right arm blades, as that hand was replaced by a silly looking BombCorn lookalike. SharpMan looked at it with great disdain, not being a big fan of guns...or silly looking BombCorn lookalikes. "I feel like such a fool, having this thing..." But despite his protests, with a sigh he lifted it, and pointed his new weaponry at one of the mosquito clouds. After all, the sooner he used it up, the sooner it'd go away. Let's see, if he was aiming at that virus, and he wanted the extra blast to head for that other one...ah, there we go. An exploding bullet of corn rocketed from the BombCorn's mouth, which, upon hitting, would ricochet a second shot right at a second Skeeter. Admittedly nifty for a gun, but he had no time to sit around and enjoy the fireworks. Instead, he positioned the embarrassing weapon towards the yet to be targeted enemy, and launched the second food-based explosive at it, oddly choosing to aim it so that the second attack would head for the same Skeeter as first time.

Okay, that was it. The Navi's hand went back to normal, signifying that CornShot had been expended. Now he could not look like an idiot as he assessed the damage he had done...

[Order of Turn:
1-AquaKnife chip attack on ElemperorA (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)
2-AquaKnife chip attack on ElemperorB (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)
2a-Swordplay subtype ability (passive dodge)
3-CornShot1 chip attack on SkeeterA (50, Wood, Trick Shot Spread 1) (Spread Target: SkeeterB)
4-CornShot1 chip attack on SkeeterC (50, Wood, Trick Shot Spread 1) (Spread Target: SkeeterB)]

With the AquaKnife imbued into his arms, he extended some slicing over to the turban-wearing viruses. Unfortunately, he stumbled with his first attack, and only managed to recover with the second attack. The Skeeters went to attack him, but they were thwarted by a double dose of CornShot. The Elmperor also fired a flare at him that changed the ground to lava, but he managed to avoid that.

-- ENEMIES --
Elmperor A: 100 HP [Lava]
Elmperor B: DELETED
Skeeter A: DELETED
Skeeter B: DELETED
Skeeter C: DELETED

-- NAVIGATOR --
SharpMan.EXE: 150 HP [Soil]

-- TERRAIN --
35% Soil (Pathway)
15% Lava (Patches of lava in road)
50% Grass (Still wide open space)

...Well, he missed one. Meh. "Meh, I missed one."

"Yes, I can see that. Immobile one, too. A total miss nicely done."

"Oh, you can just go f-"

"Focus, SharpMan!"

"Grr!" All right, now he was getting irritated. Taking a moment to determine that all of his arm blades currently had the power of AquaKnife flowing through them, he rushed the final virus, right arm raised high...and, naturally, struck by slashing with the left arm. And the right. And the left. And the right. SharpMan underwent nothing short of an utter frenzy, determined to mince the Elemperor into incredibly tiny pieces, even though one hit was all he needed to finish it. Oddly, however, he flipped over to its back halfway through the blender imitation, possibly to avoid any literal enemy fire as he kept at it. Hey, it was best to be prepared, even though the mere possibility of missing that many times was deeply, deeply saddening to him.

[Order of Turn:
1-AquaKnife chip attack on ElemperorA (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)
2-AquaKnife chip attack on ElemperorA (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)
2a-Swordplay subtype ability (passive dodge)
3-AquaKnife chip attack on ElemperorA (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)
4-AquaKnife chip attack on ElemperorA (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)]

Yeah, there's not much to argue about that.

-- ENEMIES --
Elmperor A: DELETED
Elmperor B: DELETED
Skeeter A: DELETED
Skeeter B: DELETED
Skeeter C: DELETED

-- NAVIGATOR --
SharpMan.EXE: 150 HP [Soil]

-- TERRAIN --
35% Soil (Pathway)
15% Lava (Patches of lava in road)
50% Grass (Still wide open space)

-- BATTLE 02, VICTORY!! --

-- REWARDS --
750z

And victory. Real stunner there. "Yeah, I think we all knew how this fight was gonna turn out!" Hmm...the deleted viruses didn't leave anything behind beyond money. Oh well, money was good. "I need more prey!"

"Don't let me stop you. We still don't have enough for what I want to get, after all."

"I never do!" With nothing but that, SharpMan continued down the trail, seeking slightly more worthy foes.

(Searching for Battle #3)

As SharpMan wandered on through the blank plains, the road gradually became more and more swampy, with the earthen road replaced with large puddles of mud everywhere. He then came across a large number of dusty old straw hats, left at the sides of the road in a few sizable heaps. They really weren't that remarkable, and SharpMan would have passed by them without a second glance if they didn't start rustling and moving and turning into Zemon viruses. Well, some of them, anyway. The rest were simply plain old hats, though they were large enough to hide some other viruses, which were revealed to be Genin!

-- ENEMIES --
Zemon A: 100 HP (left) (mud)
Zemon B: 100 HP (right) (soil)
Zemon C: 100 HP (far right) (grass)
Genin A: 60 HP (behind pile A) (grass)
Genin B: 60 HP (behind pile B) (grass)
Genin C: 60 HP (behind pile C) (grass)

-- OBJECTS --
Straw Hat Pile 1: 30 HP (left)
Straw Hat Pile 2: 30 HP (right)
Straw Hat Pile 3: 30 HP (far left)

-- NAVIGATOR --
SharpMan.EXE: 150 HP (mud)

-- TERRAIN --
50% Mud (Scattered across field)
10% Soil (What little remains of the road)
40% Grass (Excitingly wide open space)

-- BATTLE 03, READY? START!! --

"I think I took a wrong left turn somewhere!" SharpMan was joking, of course, as he had followed the single straight path the entire time. Still, walking in mud wasn't a very fun experience. "I forgot how much I hate mud panels!"

"Hey, you're the one that green lighted the trip."

"Oh sure, play the 'you're the one that wanted to do this' card. Real classy!...Hmm?" Piles of straw hats. Perfectly good straw hats. That could only mean one thing: enemies. And sure enough, the Zomon and Ninjoy that subsequently revealed themselves proved him right. Good thing he was awesome enough to see that trick coming. "I suspected as much...though, you really gotta wonder. Why are there samurai and ninja viruses outside of Electopia?"

"Winning this battle could net you a new sword-based chip. Are you really going to pick now to split hairs over that?"

"...Good point!" Granted, he didn't care that much to begin with, but..."Well, what's the plan?"

"The plan this time...is to take advantage of the terrain. The viruses probably picked this place because non-Wood Navis have a hard time in mud. So if we turn it against them, they'll lose their edge. It'll be tricky, but we've got the chips to do it." Now, to continue with sending his Navi a certain chip he hated. "You won't like this, but it's imperative to the plan. Now, use one of these on the mud around you! BattleChip, CornShot! Double slot in!"

The bladed Navi's right hand became a rounded BombCorn, which, as expected, brought an annoyed look from him in protest. "...I AM SharpMan, right? Not ExplodingCornMan? Because I'm seriously starting to wonder..." Pointing it downward a few feet in front of him, he activated the firing mechanism, blasting parts of the mud with the edible ammunition. The second corn bullet simply careened sideways, expanding the area of influence. Or so it would have, but instead, it rocketed off towads one of the katana wielding viruses. The Navi grinned as he looked down afterward, believing the newly formed Soil terrain to be his and his alone. "Good, now I can walk without making squishy noises!"

"That's not for you. You're to remain where you stand."

"What?!...Wait, terrain stuff's coming back to me...oh. I got it now. It's still lame, but I've got the picture!" Sigh. Now all he could do was wait for one of the viruses to come up and try to play his own game. But if they did, all he had to do was point the wooden 'gun' in its face and make it eat corn. Once again, however, the extra shot was for the ground, specifically the unoccupied soil amongst what he had created. But again, the attack seemed fixated on the enemy, as it went sailing towards another Zomon. As for the nearby shot, that...would produce grass, if he recalled correctly.

"And now we continue the process! BattleChip, FireKnife! Slot in!"

The blades on SharpMan's left arm became enveloped in fire, allowing him to strike extra hard on the grass now in front of him. As soon as a Zomon or Ninjoy zoomed up to him to strike with katana or kunai in hand or...however Ninjoy held its weapon...all he had to do was swipe at it with his blazing edges, and poof! It wouldn't be able to zoom back out. Unless he missed, in which case he was a failure as a sword Navi. Also, that would switch things back to soil. Hmm...

"And now we strike again! BattleChip, Boomerang! Slot in!"

For a change, the Navi appeared to be completely unaltered, simply standing there. Something had still been altered on the Net, however, and that something soon spun into view, and eventually right in front of him and possibly into an attacking enemy. That was it for the wandering boomerang, however, as it sailed off into the distance, presumably dematerializing once it couldn't be seen. Not that he cared if it hit someone. He was apathetic like that. "By the way, when you were coming up with this plan...did you realize that CornShot can't double dip like that?"

"I did not."

"I thought so. Remind me never to listen to you again!"

[Order of Turn:
1-CornShot1 chip attack on mud in front of SharpMan (50, Wood, A, Trick Shot Spread 1) (Spread Target: ZemonA)
2-CornShot1 chip attack on attacking Zemon/Genin (50, Wood, A, Trick Shot Spread 1) (Spread Target: ZemonB)
3-FireKnife chip attack on attacking Zemon/Genin (60, Fire, A, Slashing)
4-Boomerang1 chip attack on attacking Zemon/Genin (60, Wood, B)]

With Hector's strange plan in mind, SharpMan fired the CornShots at the ground, turning some mud into soil and some soil into grass. His efforts were rewarded with one deleted Zemon, and the FireKnife added to that count. The Boomerang, however, did not. Fortunately, the Zemon that teleported up to him wasn't too accurate in its strikes, either, thanks to a slip in the mud.

-- ENEMIES --
Zemon A: DELETED
Zemon B: DELETED
Zemon C: 100 HP (far right) (grass)
Genin A: 60 HP (behind pile A) (grass)
Genin B: 60 HP (behind pile B) (grass)
Genin C: 60 HP (behind pile C) (grass)

-- OBJECTS --
Straw Hat Pile 1: 30 HP (left)
Straw Hat Pile 2: 30 HP (right)
Straw Hat Pile 3: 30 HP (far left)

-- NAVIGATOR --
SharpMan.EXE: 150 HP (mud)

-- TERRAIN --
45% Mud (Scattered across field)
10% Soil (What little remains of the road)
45% Grass (Excitingly wide open space)

Alive and unhurt...well, MAYBE the plan worked. MAYBE. "Well, thanks to my amazing skills, that plan didn't turn out to be a total disaster." Not that he'd ever admit even that much.

"Yeah, whatever. Wasn't perfect, but it worked, and that's what counts. Now, let's continue where we left off."

"Send over NeedleCannon, and I swear that I'll find a way to enter the real world, and proceed to-"

"Don't be so paranoid, that wasn't the plan. First, I want you to get over towards the viruses. Maybe you won't be as much of a stick in the mud that way."

"Hardy har har." Awful joke aside, getting out of the mud was a plan he could back. It took a little bit of time, and there was a nice trail indicating his movement, but he was finally out of the marshy area, and back on more stable ground. "Bah, I'm covered in something, and it ain't blood! Meh, whatever, I'll clean up after I clean out these guys!" Without waiting for further command, SharpMan raced ahead towards the final katana wielding virus, and let out a mighty slash with his flame covered blades. With grass to fuel the attack, it should be a simple 'hit and enjoy watching it burn into oblivion'...of course, viruses were sometimes prone to try and deliberately avoid getting ripped apart in agony. Which annoyed him greatly, but there was little else he could do.

"All right, that takes care of that. Now, time to bring out that most devastating of all weapons...the Sharp Buster."

"...Right. I remember why, but I hate it anyway!" Apparently getting the message, the bladed Navi watched as his right hand became an entirely generic buster shape, which he begrudgingly aimed at one of the Genin, and launched a weak magenta colored shot. Truth be told, he wasn't particularly paying attention with it. He didn't even care if he hit it or not, or the hats it was hiding behind. All he cared about was that it drew the virus's ire. And when it came close...RIIIIIP! Fiery ninja bits all over. Delightful. Plus, even if he somehow blew it, he'd know the attack was coming, so he could just try and get out of the way. After all, he didn't get to where he used to be by being overly reckless. The regular kind was good enough for him.

[Order of Turn:
1-Head for wide area of Grass terrain (movement)
2-FireKnife chip attack on ZemonC (60, Fire, A, Slashing)
3-Buster shot on GeninA (2)
4-FireKnife chip attack on GeninA (60, Fire, A, Slashing)
4a-Swordplay subtype ability (passive dodge)]

Things to be sliced and burnt, succeeding in them, and so on and so forth. The Zemon and Genin fell to his FireKnife, while the others kinda cowered or something. The Genin did manage to get in a couple of Kunai, though. (10x2)

-- ENEMIES --
Zemon A: DELETED
Zemon B: DELETED
Zemon C: DELETED
Genin A: DELETED
Genin B: 60 HP (behind pile B) (grass)
Genin C: 60 HP (behind pile C) (grass)

-- OBJECTS --
Straw Hat Pile 1: 30 HP (left)
Straw Hat Pile 2: 30 HP (right)
Straw Hat Pile 3: 30 HP (far left)

-- NAVIGATOR --
SharpMan.EXE: 130 HP (Grass) (Fireknife 3/6)

-- TERRAIN --
45% Mud (Scattered across field)
20% Soil (What little remains of the road)
35% Grass (Excitingly wide open space)