Aim/MC Mission: Corn's Farm

Sharpman fires his Aquatower down into the burrow, and for a while there is no change; just the continuous, mournful howling of the giant Spikey. Then finally the party can tell the Aquatower has hit its' mark when the howling hitches first, as if interrupted with pain, and then ceases entirely.

"That might have done it!" Exorcist cheered, optimistically allowing herself to imagine that the lower cavern may have been flooded by SharpMan's impressive attack. "Let's remember due diligence, of course: we have to go down there and check to make sure the Spikey's not just hiding," she added as a final point, stepping on ahead of the group.

"How would we be able to tell? If it was deleted, it'd disappear and become nothing. If it's just run away somewhere, it'll be the same thing! Let's not check and say we did," Bhikkhuni suggested; while it sounded like a joke, she actually did believe that would be the proper way to go about it.

"That's not an option, Bhikkhuni! If that virus is still alive down there, we can't count our mission successful. Furthermore, we've all seen firsthand today the devastating, crafty tricks of viruses today. There's a good chance it's just gone silent to hide its presence," she retorted. "Of course, once we get part way down, we'll probably encounter new groundwater... That will impede our progress, but I think it's safe to say a Spikey wouldn't hold its breath underwater just to try to trick us."

Exorcist and Bhikkhuni took up the front of the group, the latter clutching onto the former for protection. Mary followed alongside SharpMan, following the sounds of the others. In an effort to stir up trouble, she smiled and struck up conversation with her compatriot. "My, it's amazing how my whole habit was converted into an article covering only her butt, isn't it? The properties of that corn is really amazing! And the feeling when it goes through your body..." she cooed. "I'm sure even my master was having trouble subduing impure thoughts as she bit in. It's quite a trial for us pious girls, you know!"

...Quiet. Lots and lots of quiet. Nearly deafening quiet. Was...it over? Because that didn't make a whole lot of sense to him. SharpMan looked into the hole, as though it'd magically give him some sort of answer. All he got, however, was more darkness and silence. A voice interrupted the silence, however, and it seemed pretty cheerful about the whole thing. "Yeah, we probably should...but at the same time, we can't let our guard down. In that regard, you go first. You have the superior defense, after all."

Exorcist's SP then spoke up, causing him to shake his head at what he considered an extreme case of density. "You were down there, and you saw that there was only one tunnel, with one large ending. Unless it can magically teleport, which I doubt since it hasn't done so by now, if it's still alive, we'll either see it down there, or evidence of a new tunnel from digging. And besides-"

The bladed Navi turned in order to be properly snide to Bhikkhuni...only to get figuratively smacked in the face by Exorcist's new proportions. "¿...Qué diablos te pasó?!" By now his mission companion was reaching nigh comical proportions. "...Uh, never mind, let's go!"

Once the elemental Navi was in the tunnel, with her source of light and protection, SharpMan hopped into the abyss, only to be trailed by the more attractive SP. It was pretty clear that she was goading him into doing certain things; he wasn't exactly stupid on that matter. "If it's like how I felt, I really don't think feeling like you're literally on fire helps with that. She's no Fire Navi, after all. If anything, it just made me feel like I had to shred something into tiny pieces...not that I'm complaining about that! Heh heh heh..." Of course, there was one other issue about that avenue of conversation. "Besides, now's not the time to ponder that. Our fates could be in the balance here, and I dunno about you, but I plan on living through this! Now, if the situation's resolved, who knows, maybe I'll give someone a whack...or two." His eyes were shifted towards Mary as he spoke the last part, not out of lust, but out of the hope that that'd make her do something completely ridiculous. And hey, if that ridiculous thing turned out to be hot, all the better.

The party descends down into the burrow, footsteps echoing on the slightly-damp dirt that has been left behind from SharpMan's Aquatower. Step step step step step. Slowly it becomes evident that there are more steps than there are steppers, however, as they reach the bottom; finally someone turns back to find Corn standing there, munching on an ear.

"Well hey there folks! I was wonderin' when you'd notice me." He says cheerfully, swallowing a bite. "Hoo-ee, this thing wanin't here before! Y'all dig it?"

There's a slight pause as he looks past the party to see what they now see; Spikkirn still sitting at the bottom of the burrow, half-submerged in a pool of water with her head low in defeat.

"Haw! So this here varmint's what was eatin' my corn up, eh?" He snorts, juggling the ear he's been munching on. "Y'all sure musta done a number on 'er! Ol' bitch looks like she's done gone and had her world crushed, I say." With that, Corn takes another bite of his namesake.

"So, how'd y'all do it?" He leans up against the wall of the burrow. "Besides a number a' mighty fine wardrobe malfunctions, a'course!" Exorcist can clearly see him leering perversely at her and her SPs. "I mean, I'd done all kindsa' shoutin' and hootin' and hollerin' at 'er, even tak'n a coupla potshots once er twice, but sh'just kept on eatin'!" He shakes his head.

"Either way, all I care 'bout is that th'darn thing stops eatin' my corn! So I'll leave it up t'you what to do with th'little varmint." He takes one last chomp, then leans against the wall of the tunnel.

Once he was done with Mary, SharpMan proceeded silently through the tunnel, noting that it was progressively damp. Man, he nailed that AquaTower, didn't he? But, there was actually something of greater concern to him than even the giant Spikey..."...Who goes there?!" He turned around, ready to slash up whoever or whatever it was...only to realize it was the person that hired him to do this. "Oh, it's you. What brings you here?"

A moment later, a look at the Spikkirn revealed that any fighting spirit it had was gone. Apparently, kidnapping her children really did a number on her. It wasn't even bothering to get out of the water, which he knew full well wasn't exactly healing her. "Heh, as it turns out, she had a very big weakness. We just happened to take advantage of it, and here we are!" Why he wasn't telling Corn exactly what that weakness was, was beyond him. Oh well, it made him sound all mysterious, which was fine with him.

"Hmm. Now that you mention it, I dunno if it'll really continue wrecking your corn now. But it never hurts to make sure, as well..." To do the deed or not...probably a good idea to check with the team. As such, he looked over to Exorcist...hmm, maybe it wasn't as much of a turn off as he originally thought. "What do you think? Me, I think by now we'd just be putting it out of its misery!"

Exorcist and Bhikkhuni both jumped and hugged together as Corn showed up behind them, startling them both. Sighing, Exorcist composed herself and straightened the cloth around her waist. "It seems like every mission I take comes with significant risks to my clothing, regardless of the mission objective," she laughed weakly. "I assure you, we didn't dig this cavern here. That's all the work of the virus you see before you."

"There's no question about it really: Counterinfectualism demands that you girls destroy that creature! Confining the little one was a necessary evil, but letting a crystallization of this size go free would be an unforgivable sin," Burt instructed his pupils, wagging one finger seriously. "Tell the farmer that you're ready to give him a permanent solution, girls."

"What the heck are you talking about, Uncle?" Jerry asked from his side. "Are you really doing something related to that phony religion right now? I sort of thought it was something you just posted about on the internet and tried to scam other people into."

"Yes, dammit! I'm really doing Counterinfectualism right now!" he scolded her, crossing his arms in a pouty way.

As unnecessary as the deletion might be, Exorcist knew that she had to make up for her earlier weakness and take care of the virus, especially given the fact that the virus was so many times larger than the average. If the rumors of Cybeasts were any indication, the bigger the virus, the badder; in her mind, the bigness and badness of a virus directly influenced the urgency of destroying them. "Burt's right; there's no other choice. We've got to destroy this virus," just explained. "Corn, if you would, please wait for us outside the burrow. The situation may become dangerous again and we wouldn't want you to be in harm's way."

Upon hearing Exorcist say that there might be retaliation, Bhikkhuni moved to the back of the pack, hugging on to Mary. "I'm getting about sick of danger..." she grumbled.

"Once it's safe to do so, let's prepare to hit it with everything we've got! We can use water attacks to capitalize on its element; electric attacks will also be conducted through the water!" Exorcist announced.

"Heh, fine by me!" SharpMan folded his arms in front of him, as he stared down what was once again his target, though he took a moment to roll his eyes as Exorcist recited her elemental cycles. "But if you want to use Elec attacks, wouldn't it be wise to, I dunno, be standing on something less wet?" He looked down, noting all the watery mud at his feet. Lots of it. And some of it was getting on him. He was going to have to install a welcome mat in his PET just so he could wipe it off on arrival or something. "Well, it's possible the mud is sufficiently non-water to protect us anyway, but...it's better to be too cautious in a situation like this, as opposed to not being cautious enough."

"But that said...I haven't gotten much practice this mission. My blades are gonna dull if I don't change that real soon...!"

"Yes, yes, I get it. Here, it's what you want, now go ahead and end it already." As to be expected of his profession, Hector hardly seemed distraught at the idea of finishing off the grieving mother, which was only so distraught due to selling her own children. All in a day's work, apparently. "BattleChip, AquaKnife! Slot in!"

"Heh heh...yeah, now I can finally cut loose!"

"No pun intended, right?"

"Uh...right." What SharpMan lacked in unintentional pun realization, he now more than made up for in sheer blue aura, one of which enveloped each of his arm blades. Now properly geared, he trudged through the mud and water, not bothering to even try to be stealthy or something of the sort. He simply walked in, and approached the Spikkirn...though he stopped near it, and, surprisingly, didn't immediately start hacking away. Instead, he had a couple of words, first. "I know that body language...it seems you think you have nothing more to live for. If that's true, then hold still...and I'll grant your wish!"

Extending his side blades, the sword Navi performed a swift, clean punch-like motion with his right arm. The hand itself didn't hit, but it hardly needed to when it still meant a several foot long blade could easily slice into the virus. The left arm and its attached weapon underwent a similar motion, though obviously it was in the opposite direction. Both edges were soon retracted, only to be replaced in that regard by their lower counterparts.

With his arms now resembling sickles with hands, SharpMan leaped into the air, partly for show, partly to help in case he was wrong before and about to get fireballed. After a surprisingly elegant mid-air spin, he reared back, and with all the might he could muster, lowered his blades, in a flashy attempt to double stab at the giant Spikey with them. Unfortunately, while he did satisfy his desire for violence somewhat, he also left himself wide open if it tried to attack afterward. But he didn't care. He finally got to do nothing more than mince up a foe, and for that, he was perfectly happy...

[Order of Turn:
1-AquaKnife chip attack on Spikkirn (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)
2-AquaKnife chip attack on Spikkirn (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)
2a-Swordplay subtype ability (passive dodge)
3-AquaKnife chip attack on Spikkirn (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)
4-AquaKnife chip attack on Spikkirn (60, Aqua, A, Slashing)]

"Yeah, let's avoid the electric attacks, actually," Exorcist murmured, raising one leg up to see the mud on her foot. She'd been out in the cornfield so long that she was beginning to lose any sense of bother that being mostly naked out in the wilderness could give a person and had thus failed to take the mud into account. "Mary, Bhikkhuni, stand back with our employer! SharpMan and I will take care of this."

With understanding and eagerness respectively, Mary and Bhikkhuni went to stand with Corn. Unsurprisingly, SharpMan had already taken out his weapon of choice and started hacking away at their captive. "No turning back now," she reminded herself, accepting the many chips Burt was slotting in for her.

"Destroy it!" Burt commanded dramatically, alarming his niece and nephew.

"I will!" the navi responded, clenching her teeth and pointing both hands forward, each with the index and middle finger extended outward. In unison, three blue waves of chi shot out from each hand towards the broad target that was the Spikey mother. Clasping both hands together, she gathered the last of that blue chi and clumped it into a swirling aura around her fists. With a grunt, she extended out the wave towards the Spikey once again.

Moving closer, she took up the spot next to SharpMan and readied her katana, grasping both hands around the long hilt. "We'll do it together," she affirmed, although SharpMan clearly didn't need her goading to get into the spirit. She drew her arms into a high arc, aiming to cut immediately through the creature's flesh, then brought it back down again. Breathing heavily with exertion, she brought the fearsome blade diagonally up towards the left, then horizontally across for a fourth and possibly final cut.

Exorcist
1) AquaNeedle1 @ Spikkirn [20 x 3 aqua, B accuracy]
2) AquaNeedle1 @ Spikkirn [20 x 3 aqua, B accuracy]
3) MistConversion1 @ Spikkirn [100 aqua, B accuracy + impact]
4) Katana1 @ Spikkirn [60 damage melee, boosted A accuracy + slashing + wide x2]
5) Katana1 @ Spikkirn [60 damage melee, boosted A accuracy + slashing + wide x2]
*) Sword subtype Swordplay [dodge]

SPs
Nothin'

Exorcist and SharpMan shoot the dog... with swords. So yeah, that's a thing now. The great beast lets off a few whimpering cries as they cut through it, flecks of data spilling everywhere-- and then attempts to stand one last time on shaky legs, finally falling over entirely as one of its' flank-hatches pops open.

Spikkirn is dead.

As the overgrown Spikey lays there, crumbling at the edges of its' great pelt as it slowly digests in the water, an egg pops-- literally pops-- out of the beast's hatch and lands with a splash in the water. A cursory scan for viral data comes up clean; whatever is in this egg, it isn't inherently viral in nature.

"Whell shucks!" Corn says, startled. "Whut do y'all reckon that thar egg'll hatch?" He asks, stepping down to slosh through the muddy water, poking at the egg with a foot. It bobs in the water beneath him, bounding over towards Spikkirn's body-- then bouncing off, drifting back towards the shore where it comes to a stop. Now that it's a little closer, Exorcist and company get a better look at it; there's some strange patterns on its' surface, a weird mix between arcane and digital...

Well, that was fun. Though, it was never as much fun when your target didn't even try to do anything...or when they didn't explode into reward data afterward. What was up with that? "Well, that's that. But why didn't it leave anything behind beside that egg?...Wait a sec, an egg? How does a virus based on a dog leave an egg? ...Scratch that, since when did viruses lay eggs to begin with? Ugh, this is making absolutely NO SENSE!"

"We've seen a lot over the years, but I couldn't even begin to imagine the reasons for that. At any rate, the giant virus that could annihilate that farmer's entire field is no more...but check that egg out. Just, be careful, of course."

"Right..." Oddly, though, there were no signs whatever that the egg was harmful. Even a scanning program didn't pick up anything malicious. "...I don't get it. That's a virus egg, right? Then why aren't I getting any virus readings?"

Well, there was one thing that came to mind. For the operator, at least. "Well, perhaps it wasn't a virus at all. That's all I can think of..."

"...That thing wasn't a virus? ...Well, I guess it's possible..." In an odd move, SharpMan walked next to the egg, then crouched over and took a good look at it. "What's with all these markings on it, anyway? It definitely looks like something that belongs in the cyberworld, but it's all weird...anyone have any ideas? And anyone that says 'let's make eggs benedict' or any other stupid egg pun is getting kebob'd by yours truly!"

"Well, this is a switch. Usually this is where you walk up to the client and demand payment."

"Hey, this is different! Don't tell me you're not curious any!" The bladed Navi gently tapped on the egg with his finger, figuring the shell was durable enough to withstand the basic reaction.

"Heh, I guess. Not every day something like this happens, that's for sure..."

SharpMan and Corn both carried on handily and with great enthusiasm, while Exorcist and the rest of the troop were sort of repulsed by what they'd done to the virus. "Well, that's Counterinfectualism! We've done the right thing," Exorcist reassured her SPs. "As for that virus, I believe we can entrust it to SharpMan. He knew what to do with the puppies, after all, and according to what he's said, the egg isn't holding a virus."

"Although his handling seems a little questionable," Mary remarked, listening to how he was tapping on the shell.

"If it's not a virus... then what's in it?" Bhikkhuni muttered, scratching her hair beneath her rounded black hat. "Hey, I know, let's make egg-!" she started, before hearing SharpMan's threat just in the nick of time. She coughed and shut up, moving back behind Exorcist.

"I'm just glad we've accomplished our goal and done the work of Counterinfectualism, both in one swoop! Good job, everyone," Exorcist commended her allies. "That is, assuming we're done, of course," she added as a last thought, turning to face their employer.

SharpMan takes the egg, then, seeing as how Exorcist wants him to, and Corn trudges down, working his way UNDERNEATH Spikkirn's remains. The beast's corpse twitches and shudders a few times as the half-baked navi does something underneath of it, and then a few seconds later Spikkirn's hide comes right off, carried by Corn-- who rolls it up. "This'll make a faaaantastic rug later!" He remarks, hefting the rolled up fur over his shoulder.

He looks back over at the skeleton the beast left behind, itself flecking and beginning to disintegrate, and the small pile of data left in the middle. "Y'all kin have that thar. Yew earned it fer the kill. 'Sides that I'll let y'all have the egg, and the stuff I done left with them IPC er NPC fellas, whatever they're called!" With that, Corn begins the long trek back up the burrow. "Thanks again, y'all!" he calls backward, waving.

Turning their attention to the pile of rewards, the party finds...

EXORCIST GET: 1200z, Heatshot Battlechip, 40 FXP, 20 Bugfrags
SHARPMAN GET: 1200z, Heatshot Battlechip, Mysterious Egg, 40 FXP

...Well, looked like he was now the proud owner of one freaky looking egg. Joy. "...Guess it's ours. Hector, I'm transferring it!" With a wave of his arm, the future...something...was sent over to his PET of origin. SharpMan was a bit alarmed when the giant Spikey's body began to move, but this concern quickly vanished as the reason became extremely clear. "Rug? Heh, why didn't I think of that?"

Without further comment, he watched Corn take his leave, then gathered and transferred half of the data pile before turning back to his partner. Well, she wasn't really his partner anymore, now that the mission was over...actually, it was sort of awkward. He wasn't great at small talk, and he didn't have any particularly witty remarks to make...as such, he simply stood there, figuring that Exorcist and her SPs had something to say, at the very least, since they were definitely the chattier ones...

The three waved goodbye to Corn with mild enthusiasm; any warm feelings they'd been harboring had been mitigated somewhat by the unpleasantness of being involved with gutting an animal and then watching it picked clean of useful components. "Well geez! I hope we can keep future bouts of Counterinfectualism a little less graphic," Bhikkhuni grumbled.

"Hunting is an important part of Counterinfectualism, Bhikkhuni. It would be negligent of us to leave behind anything from the corpse that might be useful... even if it's something as simple as a new rug," Exorcist responded, shuddering a bit at the last statement. "W-Well, SharpMan, I hope you got everything you were hoping for out of this!"

"Maybe more? I feel like we're all coming out of this carrying more than what we started with," Mary joked, crossing one hand to her hip and using the other to cover her smile.

"I'm going to miss these..." the smaller SP sniffled, cupping both hands beneath her newfound funbags. "Can't I get some boobs too, Burt? All you'd have to do is GMO them on!"

Burt adjusted his glasses, then smiled deviously. "Maybe when you've earned them!" he sneered. The little SP stamped with rage while Exorcist considered how to close out their engagement.

"Oh! If you're ever interested in learning more about Counterinfectualism or teaming up with us again, be sure to access Burt's homepage on Dentech Network. It's public, so you can find it easily enough. The operator's name is Burt J. Blanchard. He's a teacher," Exorcist added finally, suddenly realizing that SharpMan and she hadn't really learned much about each other's operators.

"So, SharpMan! What do you like to do to after a mission?" Mary asked, leaning out from behind Exorcist. "All work and no play?"

"Didn't your mother teach you not to play with knives?" Bhikkhuni joked, then tapered off into a grumble.

The antics of Exorcist's smaller SP made SharpMan smirk; she was lucky she wasn't his SP, or else she'd probably have to carry around a bucket, seeing as how he had done FAR worse. And, hmm. Did he get everything he wanted from this mission? Well, once he checked in with the GNA, more or less, he supposed. "Eh, pretty much. I've had worse!"

The spiritual Navi then gave him a spiel about her religion and stuff. He paid little attention, only taking away from it that she'd be easy to contact if he felt like it. "I see. Perhaps we will!" Of course, it was extremely unlikely that he and Hector were going to convert to anything else in the near future, but hey, worst case scenario, it turned out to be hilariously awful and they'd get some laughs out of it. "And, let's just say that my operator's...currently between jobs! Heh heh heh..." Well, he technically wasn't lying. It was just...not the kind of job one normally talked about.

"Speaking of being in-between jobs, you haven't seen our new place in Electopia, have you SharpMan?"

"Hmm...now that you mention it, I haven't."

"Well, it's starting to get late. And while I could care less about darkness, I've heard it's going to get a bit cold tonight, and that I DO care about."

"All right, all right! Lemme wrap things up!" He leered over at Mary, duly noting that everyone was still affected by that corn from earlier. "Work implies that this took effort. And aside from the part where we nearly got burnt for swiping that Spikey's children, I assure you that this mission didn't take much of that!" After all, it involved killing things big and small. That...wasn't really work to him. "Anyway, my operator's a wuss and can't handle it getting chilly, so I'll be leaving. Later, chicas!" With that, the bladed Navi became a silver beam of light, transcending the normal Net laws of 'you can't go through solid earth' with the power of jacking out.

(JACKING OUT)

Exorcist felt sort of bad about snooping in to SharpMan's business. "It sounds like his operator's having some issues with employment... I should be careful not to ask what he does again," she reminded herself. "His operator's having to live out in the cold... I wonder if I should ask Burt to help..." As she thought about it some more, she realized that he wouldn't act the way he did if his operator was having real issues, though, so she dismissed her worries.

Once SharpMan was gone, three sighs issued out: one of contentment, one of disappointment, and one of relief. "I'm happy the mission was a success," Exorcist thought.

"I'm a little disappointed that I didn't manage to have as much fun as I wanted," Mary thought.

"If he likes working in the cornfield so much, maybe he should just be a farmer!" Bhikkhuni thought.

But in the end, the three girls were more or less content with the outcome and left in a good mood. "I just hope maybe I'll get to keep my clothes on for the next one," Exorcist chuckled... as simple of a wish as that ought to have been, somehow, she didn't have much hope.

((Jacking out))