Aqua Aqua Everywhere

In her usual beam of light, Martia arrived in Yoka. But... "Hmm...which way to go?"

"Didn't you go left last time? Go right, then!"

"That's as good an idea as any. Let's get testin'!" For once, she was actively hoping she'd run into some hostiles...her right arm was aching for some combat right about now.

(Searching for Battle #1)
Out on home turf once again, Martia was itching for a fight. The first thing she came across, though, was a rather odd sight indeed. the air was thick with soothing steam, and the temperature was warm, and a short way ahead of her, sitting on a long strip of coals, were three shiny brass kettles, apparently brewing away quite happily. Running between them, apparently checking each in turn in a hurried fervour, was a single virus that looked like some sort of weird blend between a dog and a mole. It's hard to tell whether it's trying to get them to boil, or stop them from boiling. Maybe it just wants some tea?

-=Viruses=-

KettleA: 0 Degrees [Coal]
KettleB: 0 Degrees [Coal]
KettleC: 0 Degrees [Coal]

Rush: 4Hp [Normal]

-=Allies=-

Martia.Exe: 250Hp [Normal]

-=Terrain=-

20% Coal: long strip horizontal to Martia, about one movement away.
40% Onsen: Two pools to either side, stretching the full length of the area.
40% Normal: The Rest

-=Battle 1, Start!=-


Naturally, since she actually wanted a fight, Martia ran straight into one of the most benign situations she'd run across in her brief life. She visibly deflated as the fact that she probably wasn't getting a battle any time soon. "Aww, these guys are harmless..."

"I'm not responsible for any of this. You know I'm not a very lucky person, so take any random advice from me at your own peril! Or non-peril, in this case..."

"Yeah...silly me." Well, since she was here, she was curious about what the Mole was doing with the Kettles. Might as well check it out. While not running, she did briskly walk over to the scene. Hopefully, as she drew near, she'd get a smell or something of what was cooking. "Hello there! Mind if I ask what you guys are making?" She wasn't expecting a response in words, of course, but hopefully they'd show her in a way that didn't result in her getting scalded. She crouched down, to get a closer look at everything, and hopefully make her seem less threatening. Most Navis didn't have a whole lot of ways to attack on all fours, after all.

"Maybe you'll get lucky and they're making some tea. I know I wouldn't say no to some nice, hot tea right now..."

"Yeah, me too..."

[Order of Turn:
1-Walk over towards viruses (Movement)
2-Ask the viruses about what they're up to (Question)
---TURN SPLICE---
Conflict when she wanted calmness, and peace when she wanted punching. Sometimes the fates were just downright mean. Even so, Martia made the best of the situation and inspected in a more casual, non-violent fashion. closer, the faint scent of herbs became apparent, though it was mixed, too with a small that was a bit more like fish, and another that carried the unmissable texture of heating oil. when she called her greeting, though, the rush jumped up, hanging in the air almost comically in a state of startled surprise, before turning to race once quickly around the kettles and then beginning to high-tail it away from the unexpected navi.

The kettles turned to face her, but unlike the spooked Rush, they didn't so much move, as bubble slightly more furiously in her direction... It was kinda hard to tell what that was supposed to mean though. It might be threatening, but then, how threatening could kitchen crockery be? The coals beneath them were hot certainly, but if they hadn't boiled the kettles by now, they probably weren't going to manage to.

-=Viruses=-

KettleA: 5 Degrees [Coal]
KettleB: 5 Degrees [Coal]
KettleC: 5 Degrees [Coal]

Rush: 4Hp [Normal][Fleeing!]

-=Allies=-

Martia.Exe: 250Hp [Normal]

-=Terrain=-

20% Coal: long strip horizontal to Martia, about one movement away.
40% Onsen: Two pools to either side, stretching the full length of the area.
40% Normal: The Rest
Hmm...the smell definitely wasn't tea. It was a bit fishy, though...in the sense that it smelled like fish. Not overpoweringly so, at least. It actually smelled pretty nice. Maybe if she was lucky, they'd share once it was ready.

Or maybe not, as the Mole was sufficiently scared that it was willing to sacrifice its meal to run off. That...was the one thing Martia definitely didn't want to happen right now. "Wait! I'm not going to hurt you or anything!" Heck, she hadn't even bothered turning on her combat routines. But if she didn't do anything, it was going to be gone, and the deliciousness would be in great peril without it. "Oh...shoot!" All she could do now was to try and set things right...but since she couldn't do that with the dog-like virus gone, she had to try and chase it down. It was the only option that didn't involve violence, and she wasn't doing that to this group unless she had no choice. Off she went, in a race to stop it from fleeing.

...Though, her feet didn't appreciate it as she reached the strip of coals the Kettles were cooking over. "Ow ow ow! Hot hot hot!"

"...Yeah, hot coals are usually hot. Just think of it as training to get your mind off of it, I guess."

"Ow...it's all right, I'm almost off!" And sure enough, she'd cleared the coal. But now she had to run down the Mole, and with burnt feet, no less. But that wasn't going to stop her. She was going to go full blast, until she caught up to it...and picked it and gave it a hug. Hopefully that'd convince it she wasn't going to kill it like some sort of bloodthirsty Navi.

...Of course, given the head start, there was no guarantee she'd be able to make up the lost ground. Only the running would determine the winner of this race...

---TURN SPLICE---
3+4-Chase down Rush and try to prevent it from escaping]
The Rush is a quick virus when it wants to be, but very little is faster, on the net or elsewhere, than the desire to grab someone or something in an over-enthusiastic hug. Martia races over the strip of coal and is quick to catch it, and grab it up in an embrace with enough fervour to lift the fleeing virus off the ground. It struggles awkwardly, squirming as its feet windmill in comical fashion, trying to get free. It manages to twist this way and that in her arms, eventually face to face with the martial artist as it tries to pry itself free, but after a few moments more of futile struggle, it stops and sags, surrendering face-first with a small whine to the tight, if highly cushioned, embrace of Martia's chest.

Whether she meant it well or not, the Rush still wanted to flee, but for now it was surrendering to the, admittedly quite pleasant, confines of Martia's inescapable hug. If she desired, there was nothing stopping her from carrying the poor thing back to the kettles for a better inspection; they had turned in place on their coal bed as she raced past, and were still watching the navi. If she did return, she would find the scents a little easier to separate now. Heading back and facing them, she'd find the one on her left was the one giving off the scent of herbs, while the one in the centre smelled of cooking fish, while the right-most one had the hot-oil smell, and a slight hint of something starchy too.

-=Viruses=-

KettleA: 5 Degrees [Coal][Smells Herbal]
KettleB: 5 Degrees [Coal][Smells Fishy]
KettleC: 5 Degrees [Coal][Smells like hot oil]

Rush: 4Hp [Normal][Thoroughly Hugged][Carried by Martia]

-=Allies=-

Martia.Exe: 250Hp [Normal][Carrying Rush][Hot Feet!]

-=Terrain=-

20% Coal: long strip horizontal to Martia, about one movement away.
40% Onsen: Two pools to either side, stretching the full length of the area.
40% Normal: The Rest
It took a few moments, but the Mole proved no match for Martia's...presence. With a smile, she turned around, and walked back to the makeshift kitchen. If one looked closely, however, they'd notice her stifling a wince every now and then, thanks to her feet feeling like they were on fire. She reached where it originally was, and dropped to her knees. She didn't let go just yet, though. "Listen, I don't wanna ruin your lunch. If you don't want me around, I'll leave. But, whatever you're cooking, it smells really good! I wish I could cook like that!"

With that, she set the virus down, and took a few steps back. There wasn't much she could do at the moment, but wait to see whether she was wanted...

[Order of Turn:
1-Carry Rush back to Kettles (movement)
2-See if she can hang around, or if she needs to leave
---TURN SPLICE---
Thoroughly entrapped, the Rush assumes the kind of limp, 'giving up on the world' pose that many pet owners might recognise, as it puts up with being carried around by the unusual, if comfortably cushioned navi. At least she wasn't trying to delete it. It made a low, put-out sound, something between a whine and a moan, and wasn't best pleased being totted around like a stuffed toy, but apparently it's main response was simply to resign itself to the treatment for however long it lasted.

Eventually, they arrive back at the kettles where, against all expectation, the strange woman sets it down again, right back where it started. this behaviour was most perplexing to the Rush, and while its first instinct was, again, to simply leg it, enough confusion remained that it hesitated, then looked back at her cautiously.

You know... now that they were gone... That hug actually felt kinda nice.

...

... ...

After another glance about the place to make sure no other Rush viruses were going to see its traitorous capitulation, the little guy turns back, tilts its head as it looks up at Martia, then makes a jump at her, rather gleefully pressing its face into her bosom again. the power of Martia's chest to overpower even the most integral basic instincts of viruses wins through once again.

Meanwhile, on the nearby bed of coals, the kettles get a little warmer... then, of a sudden, they all cool back to standing of their own accord. Maybe that's what had the Rush so frustrated with them in the first place? those coals weren't getting them anywhere after all, it seemed...

All this was well and good, except that the scorching on Martia's feet was beginning to really sting by now. On the bright side, there was some soothing Onsen nearby, if she wanted to cool her heels at some point.

-=Viruses=-

KettleA: 0 Degrees [Coal][Smells Herbal]
KettleB: 0 Degrees [Coal][Smells Fishy]
KettleC: 0 Degrees [Coal][Smells like hot oil]

Rush: 4Hp [Normal][Captivated by pillows of goodness.]

-=Allies=-

Martia.Exe: 240Hp [Normal][Carrying Rush][Coal Burn(1 turn)]

-=Terrain=-

20% Coal: long strip horizontal to Martia, about one movement away.
40% Onsen: Two pools to either side, stretching the full length of the area.
40% Normal: The Rest
Much to Martia's surprise, the Mole didn't turn tail and run, nor did it motion for her to leave. Instead, it happily leaped back into her arms, and other parts of her embrace. She didn't say anything at first, but happily reaccepted the virus. "...Heh, I wouldn't have guessed you were this friendly!"

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if your rack has special powers. It feels like every single thing in the Net that notices them ends up captivated by them."

"...I'm not really sure how to respond to that..." Her feet were killing her, but she couldn't abandon the quest for lunch for even a moment. The Navi's mind raced as she pondered potential solutions...and though it took a minute, she managed to think one up that she thought would work. "All right, I've got an idea on how to get everything nice and cooked! Although, I think we're going to need to spread them farther apart for this to work. Leslie, can you send over RageClaw? That'll help with moving them!"

The martial artist was actually about to insert that very chip, albeit for a completely different reason. "RageClaw? Well, if you think it'll help..." Without another word, she cancelled a chip transfer, and sent it over to her Navi. Sure, she could've shouted the usual spiel, but when it wasn't going to be used for fighting, it took out a lot of the allure of doing so.

Martia freed her right arm from the dog-mole (though her left arm still allowed it access to her entire bosom), and allowed a metal wristband to form on it. Extending from it were three large metal spikes, slightly hooked. By RageClaw standards, it wasn't a particularly threatening interpretation, but that was just it...if anything, she was trying not to scare anyone, so making it look a bit more like a kitchen utensil worked on multiple levels. Now, let's see...that one should be moved first. Using her claw aid, she grabbed one of the Kettle by the handle, using her tool to prevent getting her hand burned by its flame. There was definitely an herbal smell coming from it...she really hoped it was herbal tea. She didn't like it as much as green tea, but it'd definitely go great with the fish. It took a moment, due to only having one arm to support the weight of the entire virus, but she managed to get it away from the blast radius of the others.

Let's see...the middle one was the fish, and it probably didn't need to be moved. The oily smelling one, however, definitely needed to be carried to safety. So, she walked over, and used her apparatus to pick that up. And then, using the ancient art of kettle carrying, she moved it a ways from the others, keeping them in a straight line on the edge of the coals, but spaced much further apart, to the point where they couldn't explode in each other's faces. "Phase one, complete! ...It's gonna get a little tricky now, though. You'll have to trust me on this one! But assuming it works, it'll be just a few more minutes until chow time!"

---TURN SPLICE---
3-Move KettleA out of other Kettles' blast radius with RageClaw1
4-Walk back over to KettleC
5-Move KettleC out of other Kettles' blast radius with RageClaw1]
Perhaps it was just begin friendly, now that it had accepted the martial-artist's superiority, or perhaps it was just making the most of a situation that wouldn't normally present itself, since there were no other rushes around to call him out for his actions... the one thing that was certain, on the score of Martia's captivated Rush, was that it was nosing, pressing and rubbing at her chest in that overly direct, overly intimate way that only small children and pets are ever allowed to get away with in public...

It spared a cautionary glance to the side when she shifted her position and brought out her claw, but it really did look more like a hand-mounted ingle-hook than anything else, and he returned happily to his earlier focus as soon as she began to use it for moving the kettles.

For their own parts, the Kettles each watched her move, twisting to face her wherever she went. Their expressions didn't change, though the eyes moved to follow her claw as she pulled and dragged first one, then another, out to the edges of the coals, and out of potential blast range of each other.

Her feet still felt slightly scorched, but at least the pain had more or less receded now; fortunately Martia was able to stay off the coals themselves as she moved the viruses around. The kettles were at the very simplest end of viruses, and it would be difficult to attribute any sort of define sentience to them, even at a reach... at best the two she had moved managed to look slightly disappointed that her gentle claw hadn't been enough for them to treat it like an attack, and thus explode. The coals warmed them a little, and they each promptly cooled again, continuing to watch Martia with little to no comprehension.

-=Viruses=-

KettleA: 0 Degrees [Coal][Smells Herbal][Extreme left edge of the coals]
KettleB: 0 Degrees [Coal][Smells Fishy][Centre of the coal strip]
KettleC: 0 Degrees [Coal][Smells like hot oil][Extreme right edge of the coals]

Rush: 4Hp [Carried][Probably nuzzling a little bit more than is decent]

-=Allies=-

Martia.Exe: 240Hp [Normal][Carrying Rush][Rage-Claw, 4/6 (sorta)]

-=Terrain=-

20% Coal: long strip horizontal to Martia, about one movement away.
40% Onsen: Two pools to either side, stretching the full length of the area.
40% Normal: The Rest
"H-Hey! Take it easy! You sure are a friendly little guy!" Martia seemed oblivious to the fact she was basically getting face fondled, instead just taking it as a form of affection. And in a way, she was right...it just probably wasn't as pure intentioned as she thought. "But anyway, now we can focus on getting that food!" She looked back to the middle Kettle, frowning a little when she realized that she'd neglected to move them off the coals. Her feet were feeling better now, but that wasn't going to last...darn. Her poor, poor feet. "Time for the next phase of my plan! Barrier, if you please, Leslie!"

"Ya know...meh, never mind." Leslie wasn't really sure if she found her Navi getting felt up by a virus's face sexy or just weird...but eh, wasn't important right now. "Here you go. Not gonna shout out the usual, since, well, no need to right now."

"Fair enough." A blue protective barrier surrounded the martial artist Navi, who started walking over to the fishy smelling Kettle. Which meant back onto those hot coals...oww. Granted, at this point, it was her own fault, but still. She drew closer and closer...until the Kettle was actually inside the barrier with her and the Mole. She took a deep breath, and turned her back to the obstinate virus, keeping her body in-between it and her companion. She made absolutely sure she was completely shielding it...and silently prayed to the gods that her line of thinking was right, or else this was going to suck massively. "All right...FireHit, Leslie."

"Uh, you know that-"

"Don't worry, I've thought this over. Just trust me!"

"...If you say so." She didn't like the situation, but it was obvious Martia had a plan...might as well have faith in her. "All right, here. FireHit. Slot in, whatever."

Martia's feet became surrounded in a fiery aura, burning as brightly as the coals she stood on. She took one last look at the dog-mole, making sure every single part of it was protected by her...though the way it was enjoying itself, that wasn't too hard. She took a deep breath...and whacked the Kettle with her flame covered heel. If she was right, the fact its contents were something other than scalding water would make it so its attack wouldn't work correctly, ideally failing to do anything other than scatter the fish inside of it. And hopefully, her barrier would catch all of it. But, if she was wrong...well, hopefully Yoka had cyber burn wards...

[Order of Turn:
1-Barrier chip on Martia (S, 10 HP barrier)
2-Get KettleB inside barrier (Movement)
3-Make sure Rush is completely shielded by Martia's body, just in case
4-FireHit1 chip attack on KettleB (60, Fire, A, Impact)
5-Await results]
As intently as her newly acquired Rush was enjoying the glory that was Martia's chest, even he grew intrigued and cautious as the martial artist continued setting up the peculiar elements of her... highly unusual plan. With the kettles moved far out of each other's range, for safety, her next move involved a temporary barrier, and a calculated quick boil on the middle kettle.

Still watching the woman without any real comprehension, the Kettle first stared upwards at a view of her behind, as she turned around, then a far better, but less pleasing view of her heel as it blazed down against the chromed metal. The peculiar way in which she cold at once wreath her feet in searing fire without any discomfort... and still get scorched again from standing on the coals, at exactly the same time, was an intricacy that entirely escaped the kettle virus; it was far too busy shooting up to boiling point with the closest thing to glee that such a simplistic virus was capable of expressing.

The result was at once fairly predictable, but also, understandably strange. The kettle boiled: violently. What resulted was a forceful explosion of boiling steam vapour that would have rolled outward in a broad nova, except that, in all directions, it immediately hit the warding barrier. Most of the time, a barrier takes incoming attacks from its outward facing front, but by fortune of structure, they still work the same way, regardless of what force strikes them, or from where: The kinetic force of the nova was completely stopped., creating, for a brief moment, a steam-filled bubble in the middle of the coal field.

Inside the suddenly opaque barrier, Maria was thoroughly steam-blasted, but her reasoning had proved sound: it didn't actually hurt her... just made her a bit too hot, and frizzed and damp. While the steam blast would have scalded her little Rush friend, who squeaked in sudden panic from the blast, he was safely protected by Maria's cuddly, squishy embrace.

The more important matter, of course, was the fish. When the little Rush opened its eyes and looked up from where it had buried its face in Martia's bosom, it was greeted by the sight of two long fillets of perfectly steamed white fish, which had fallen to rest more or less on the woman's chest and were managing not to slide off by fortune of the way she was squeezing her new friend to them. Martia herself would likely be away of a third fillet that had ended up lying almost comically over the top of her head, the the tail end hanging down between her eyes, and a fourth on her left shoulder.

Having taken the brunt of the kettle's extreme-steam-clean, Martia's barrier dissipated, allowing the remaining steam cloud to spread out and away and give both her and the Rush some clear air again. The fish was certainly perfectly steamed, though it was quite hot still, as Martia would likely be beginning to feel. They also didn't really have anything to eat it off... or at least... Martia didn't. The Rush was busy making quite joyful sounds at its discovery and seemed quite eager to begin attacking the nearest piece of fish, right off of Martia's chest.

In other news, the remaining two kettles heated, then self-cooled again, oblivious to the middle one's destruction, and Martia's feet were getting quite uncomfortably hot again. When this impromptu meal was done, a soothing dip in the nearby Onsen was probably going to be a good idea.

-=Viruses=-

KettleA: 0 Degrees [Coal][Smells Herbal][Extreme left edge of the coals]
KettleB: BOILED
KettleC: 0 Degrees [Coal][Smells like hot oil][Extreme right edge of the coals]

Rush: 4Hp [Carried][Preoccupied by the prospect of eating fish off Martia's bosom][Friendly!]

-=Allies=-

Martia.Exe: 240Hp [Normal][Carrying Rush][Rage-Claw, 4/6 (sorta)][Coal Burn (5)][Covered in Superbly Steamed Fish Fillets]

-=Terrain=-

20% Coal: long strip horizontal to Martia.
40% Onsen: Two pools to either side, stretching the full length of the area.
40% Normal: The Rest
Martia's slightly unorthodox plan succeeded, though thanks to the steam, her outfit was a little more skin tight than it normally was, thanks to the moisture it absorbed. Of more immediate importance to her was the state of the Mole...though even before she looked down, she had her answer, as it started to happily chow down on some fish, using her chest as a makeshift plate. "Hey, easy now! Just make sure you bite the fish and not me, okay?" With her free arm, she slowly reached up and removed the fish from her head, and took a look at it. Looked well-cooked...no hair got stuck to it...and it smelled great. Looked like she'd get a taste, after all. "I doubt you want this piece, after it was on my head. And food's always better when you eat it with others!...Or so I've heard. Down the hatch!" She moved her piece over, and took a bite...to say it was delicious was an understatement. It didn't even need any seasoning; the fish's flavor was just about perfect to her. "That. Is. Amazing!"

"It looks great! Kinda makes me hungry, to be honest...though, weird thought. Where'd it get the fish? There aren't very many cyber fish markets, much less ones that cater to dog...mole...whatever viruses."

"Not even going to pretend to understand it. Just enjoying the moment!" Maybe someone programmed the Kettles to have other stuff in them? Truthfully, she didn't especially care about anything other than enjoying the fish right this moment. "So good...!" Alas, there was only a finite amount of the stuff, and soon Navi and virus had eaten it all up. "Yep, there's nothing like a good fish! I think I picked that up from a certain human..."

"Yeah, I wonder who." Though, Leslie preferred her fish rare, if not straight up raw. "I'll still take sashimi any day, though!"

"Why doesn't that surprise me..." All right, what should the next course be...the drink should be last, since A, a good drink was a perfect cap to a good meal, and B, she didn't really have any great ideas on how to keep it from being a giant puddle at the moment. The other Kettle, however, could probably be handled the same way as the last one. And luckily for her, she happened to have a second method of performing it. "Another barrier, please!"

"But we just used Barr-oh! That!" Yes, that. Actually, thinking about it for a moment, why didn't she just use that to begin with, since it reformed? ...Eh, whatever. "Here, have some BubbleWrap!"

Martia and the Mole were suddenly encased in...a bubble. It didn't look as impressive as the energy sphere from earlier, but despite appearances, it was by and large superior to that. She started walking over to the oily Kettle, which was sitting near an increasingly good looking hot spring. She was going to take a minute after this part was over to take care of her increasingly pained feet. But for now, she simply endured as she walked over to the source of future food stuffs, and squeezed it into the bubble. Now, she really took a deep breath...the steam was hot, but this...this was more dangerous. She held her companion tightly against her chest (as though it wasn't already), and made absolutely sure she was positioned so that not a drop of oil could end up on it. "All right, time for the next course...time to heat things up!"

"...Are you sure about this one? Steam's one thing, but-"

"I'm not, but I'm doing it anyway. Chop chop!"

"...All right...here, FireHit #2."

Once again, the martial artist Navi found her feet getting set on fire...and this time, her feet actually felt the part. But she could deal with that later. She took another deep breath, and kicked the Kettle behind her. BubbleWrap, do your thing...

[Order of Turn:
1-Chow down on fish/wait for Rush to finish (RP fluff)
2-BubbleWrap1 chip on Martia (Aqua, S, 1-hit barrier, can regenerate for 3 turns)
3-Get KettleC inside BubbleWrap (Movement)
4-Make sure Rush is completely shielded by Martia's body, just in case
5-FireHit1 chip attack on KettleC (60, Fire, A, Impact)]
To either side, the two remaining kettles watched with a fairly predictable amount of apathy as Martia and her new friend decided to pause and partake of their fish immediately and without delay. While the martial artist revelled in the exquisite flavours, the Rush was far more interested in getting the food into its face as fast and efficiently as it could, making half-mumbled sounds of delight even as it ate. It finished quickly, and promptly began licking all over the area where the fish had landed; it was fortunate that Martia wasn't more exposed in that area, or it might have gotten borderline indecent.

Standing on the coals while she ate probably wasn't incredibly present-minded of her, but even as the heat scorched the soles of her feet, it had to be said.. that fish was -Really- good. (-5 coal burn, but Heal to Max for tasty fish!)

With the first meal out of the way, Martia turned her attention to the oil-scented kettle, and began making ready to repeat her controlled boiling technique. As she did, however, the Rush began to make urgent sounds, to the effect of trying to get the martial artist to wait up a moment. He struggled free of her grip, leaping easily from her arm, to the safe ground on one side of the coal bed, near the kettle in question. Next it jumped across the bed, landing on the kettle and snagging its lid clean off, then across to the far side of the coals, without touching the uncomfortably hot terrain. The burning fire on the lid extinguished, leaving an easy-to-hold handle as soon as it was more than a foot away from the virus itself, but the Kettle only looked on, uncomprehending.

Pilfered lid in hand, the Rush ran quickly to the other end of the coal bed, and repeated his little double jump to nick the second lid as well, then returned to Martia, making sure she was ready before jumping back into her arms. Once he was settled, he looked up at her, then clapped the two lids together briefly, and held them upward above his head and to the sides slightly. They weren't exactly plates, or bowls, but they'd probably do in a pinch for catching things. Either way, the little guy seemed quite confident that Martia's trick would probably work again, and was happy to trust her to keep him safe, whether she chose to take hold of the impromptu plates herself, or leave them to him.

Things went more or less as they had the time before, right up until the point that Martia boiled the kettle. This time, the kettle bubbled and spat more fiercely as it hit boiling point, droplets of scalding oil flecking Martia's turned back; fortunately they weren't going to get through her outfit any time soon. The blast itself, however, was another story. The quirks of the net certainly protected Martia's HP value from being affected by the explosion, but being blasted with boiling oil was still being blasted with boiling oil; it was hot, and it hurt. What would have been a fantastic geyser of vaporising oil became a backlash wave of force as it collided with the inside of her bubble, drenching the martial artist with uncomfortably hot remnants of liquid oil, while the air inside the bubble turned into a thick, oily vapour that left a nasty residue on everything.

Amongst this, however, it was also positively raining freshly crisped thin-cut hot chips, at least inside the confines of Martia's bubble-wrap. Aside from getting a good many in her hair, and more still getting into any and seemingly all the smallest openings of her outfit, it was certainly easy enough to catch two suitable 'plates' full of the unusual rain, provided they were trying to. An inspection of the chips would reveal them to be very well cooked; perfectly crispy without being burned or singed in any way, and without being soft or chompy in any places either. They probably would have gone well with the fish, and maybe some lemon, perhaps... but would still probably be tasty enough on their own.

The moving around on the coals was continuing to scorch Martia's poor feet... but there was only one kettle to go now, right? The real question was... if this one was a herbal mix of some sort... how to get it safely without just spraying tea everywhere? the last kettle heated up, then cooled down again. It certainly wasn't being any help.



-=Viruses=-

KettleA: 0 Degrees [Coal][Smells Herbal][Extreme left edge of the coals]
KettleB: BOILED
KettleC: BOILED

Rush: 4Hp [Carried][Holding Kettle-lid plates of chips, unless Martia takes them from him][Friendly!]

-=Allies=-

Martia.Exe: 235Hp [Normal][Carrying Rush][Rage-Claw, 4/6 (sorta)][Coal Burn (5)][Errant chips in ALL the places! Ack!]

-=Terrain=-

20% Coal: long strip horizontal to Martia.
40% Onsen: Two pools to either side, stretching the full length of the area.
40% Normal: The Rest
Despite her HP suggesting otherwise, Martia was in some serious, serious pain as she got herself doused in oil. If she hadn't been a Navi, she would've gotten quite a nasty burn. But she didn't shout out or anything. So as not to startle her Mole friend, she simply grit her teeth and bared it, until the burning sensation finally started to fade.

"You know, usually when I see someone like you get oiled up, it's a turn on. But this time, nope..."

Leslie's quip snapped the martial artist Navi back to reality, and looked around. Her dog-mole companion had managed to cover the lids it'd snatched with crisp, delicious looking chips, though since it was holding both of them, it ironically couldn't enjoy the fruits of its labor. Actually, neither could she, since she was afraid that if she moved her arms at the moment, there would be spillage, and that would be quite depressing for both. Instead, she carefully started walking over to the other Kettle. She had no idea how she was going to tackle it, though..."Any idea for that last Kettle? Anyone?"

"Uh, don't look at me. The only idea I have is that you really could use a bath. Y'know, since you're covered in oil grime."

"Somehow I'm not surprised you have that idea..."

"No, really! Not trying to be a pervert! You're covered in that, you've got chips in your hair, I think you ended up getting some under your top..."

"Oh, I did. I can feel it. You know what it's like having bits of fried potato in your shirt as you walk around? Not pleasant!"

"Hey, it could be worse. You could be wearing something like what I do. I mean, you've still got a layer underneath that. I've got nothing. I mean, if I so much as bumped into something, that's pressing right into me, no protection at all!"

"That's...actually true. It may not look like much, but even bodysuit Navi armor can be pretty protective. All you could do is deal with it as it broke into pointy pieces and started stabbing you right in your boobs!"

"Yeah, I'll pass on that..."

"You and me both, Leslie. You and me both..." With that, Martia was now face to face with the last Kettle. But instead of getting it inside her bubble, she was content to stand there for a moment and look at it. She then set the Mole on the non-burning ground nearby, and relieved it of one of the plates. "Go ahead and dig in! I'll join in just a sec!" She still had a free hand, which still had a RageClaw on it. She used it to grab the less than intelligent virus, and carried it off its coal perch, onto less painful terrain. At the very least, she wouldn't have to worry about that. "That's one step down. Now I just need to figure out how to catch tea..."

The Navi took a seat at the edge of the normal panels, and dipped her feet into the warm water to the side. It stung for a moment at first, but the warmth and healing power of the water quickly overpowered it, allowing her to stop and relax. She took a moment to enjoy it, then started bringing up screens in front of her as she reached onto the lid she held, took a chip, and munched on it. "This doesn't even need salt, it's so good! You really are (munch) a great cook!" It was kinda odd, complimenting a virus on something as complex as cooking...then again, she remembered hearing once that Moles were among the most intelligent of all normal viruses. Seeing this, she was inclined to believe it now. "Now we just (munch) need to figure out (munch) how to not get tea (munch) all over the place (munch), and into something we can (munch) drink out of!" Now for those screens...containing info on her latent abilities and non-edible chips. Let's see...her copied sig moves. She could grab things, kick with electricity, melt things with fire, or punch things with the power of a whirlpool. None of which seemed very conducive to catching fluids in mid-air. Moving along to BattleChips...taking out what she'd already used, she could drop snow, drop a giant stone fist, cover her hand with a giant fist, shoot fists, shoot a fist of steam, heal up, and fire a ball of electricity. None of those really worked...hmm? Looking over the specs of the chips, she noticed something potentially interesting. She'd always manifested them as ki energy, but as they were normally applied...that was probably her best shot at something that actually worked.

"All right, I (munch) think I've got a plan! (munch) But I'm gonna sit here just (munch) a bit longer, (munch) okay?" By now, Martia was going ahead and eating the chips that ended up on her. Fortunately, her hair didn't really affect the taste, nor did the fact that some were only a fraction of an inch from making direct contact with her breasts. Some would probably argue the latter made those chips better...but they didn't. They were just really good chips.

[Order of Turn:
1-Move to KettleA
2-Move KettleA off of Coal with RageClaw
3/4/5-Dip feet in Onsen/Ponder options/Eat chips]
Once the burning sensation of the oil had faded away, and Martia could take proper stock of things, the conclusion that she reached was that there was not really any sort of immediate rush on the tea. Quiet eager to begin the second course of edibles, the Rush made enthusiastic sounds as Martia took one plate and freed him up to begin devouring his own.

Settling by the edge of the onsen, he ate a few chips, but then paused to watch and wait for Martia anyway. The kettle did about as much as could be expected when Martia moved it of the coals; it watched her blankly, vaguely resenting her delicate touch for not allowing it to explode. The scent of luke-warm aromatic tea still drifted from the virus, and if she didn't mind the tea cool, it would be perfectly drinkable now, but that would be too easy for the determined martial-artist.

The water, at least, proved a cooling balm for her scorched feet, and along with a delicious helping of expertly crispy chips, she soon found her worries more or less completely soothed away. The rush continued to chatter excitedly as it ate, alternately cutting its small squeaks off with chip-stuffing, and its chip-stuffing with small squeaks. In between sounding like a puppy with food, it also chattered directly at Martia, though it was just about as incomprehensible as any other virus she'd ever encountered. It certainly didn't manage to provide any insights on the art of catching fast-boiled tea explosions.

Fortunately, Martia had ideas of her own, but took her time plotting them out carefully in her mind first, while the onsen, and the chips, brought her back to full vim and vigour.


-=Viruses=-

KettleA: 0 Degrees [Normal][Smells Herbal][Just off the Coals]
KettleB: BOILED
KettleC: BOILED

Rush: 4Hp [Normal][Eating chips with great enthusiasm][Friendly!]

-=Allies=-

Martia.Exe: 250Hp [Edge of Onsen][Eating Chips][Rage-Claw, 3/6 (sorta)][Coal Burn (Soothed!)][Chips in her Clothes, Ack!]

-=Terrain=-

20% Coal: long strip horizontal to Martia.
40% Onsen: Two pools to either side, stretching the full length of the area.
40% Normal: The Rest
So far, so good. Both Martia and the Mole were filling up on fish and chips...but that tea. It remained in the final Kettle, in its imperfect state of not being heated. And she just would not stand for that. Feeling significantly less burned now, she hopped out of the hot water, and gave the virus a knowing smirk...the look of someone that knew their opponent was history, but also knew that they didn't know they knew. "First things first...MeteorKnuckle me!"

"...MeteorKnuckle y...do you even listen to yourself sometimes?!" It was too easy to even really make fun of...so Leslie just sent over the chip. "There, MeteorKnuckle yourself!"

The Navi failed to notice the poor choice of words, so she simply let the chip manifest itself as its default form...three metal fists nearly as large as herself. It wasn't entirely faithful to the normal form, however, as if the fists were placed on the ground and peered into, they were completely hollow. The opening was also quite wide, almost as though it were some sort of giant cup. And indeed, that was their purpose on this occasion. She carefully positioned them such that they surrounded the enemy virus, each tilted towards it to catch as much tea as possible. Fortunately, their hovering abilities would prevent them from falling over.

Now for the next step. Martia walked over to her newest friend, making sure her body (and bubble covering it) would fully protect it from scalding tea. She knew what it was like to have boiling hot fluids cover you, and that was NOT something she wanted it to feel. "All right, don't move! And I'll need something to delete that Kettle now!"

"'Bout time, huh?" She, for one, was looking forward to finally ending this whole thing. Especially since that'd mean she wouldn't have to look at all that deliciousness. "Here, now put an end to it!"

"That I shall!" Martia's right foot became covered in hot steam, as the claw over her hand faded away for what would be the last time. No fist containers blocking her, Mole safely behind her...with everything checked off, she let out a quick kick, banishing the steam from her boot, in the shape of her boot, naturally, and sending it forward at the Kettle. If all went well, it'd explode, and they'd have basically three fist shaped barrels of piping hot tea to enjoy. Her taste buds were already anticipating it...

[Order of Turn:
1-MeteorKnuckle1 chip attack on...nothing (3 large fist shaped containers placed around the Kettle
2-Make sure Martia is protecting Rush from KettleA
3-MistConvergence1 chip attack on KettleA (100, Aqua, A, Impact)
---TURN SPLICE---
The mysteries of exactly what one lady meteor-knuckling another might entail were probably better left to the imagination, and thankfully for everyone, that was where such questions stayed for now as Martia proceeded to make yet more unorthodox use of her chip collection.

Her plan was a creative one, certainly, and though the effort of maintaining the giant fist's prolonged presence when not immediately bludgeoning things with them was probably a fair amount of effort, the martial artist managed to keep them steady. If anything, the remaining kettle seemed vaguely disappointed that yet another chip was being used, but it still wasn't being given the opportunity to blow itself up, and it stared without comprehension at the three metal fists positioned like sentinels around it.

For that matter, the Rush seemed quite curious and confused by her preparations too, and though it was still finishing off its chips, and didn't slow from this pursuit, it also watched her with great interest. The level of acceptance that the offer of shared food brought, not to mention the sharing of other soft, hugable objects, was such that the little guy showed no trepidation at all as Martia brought him into her bubble again and prepared another attack chip.

Good aim made the attack, when it came, connect without a hitch and the last Kettle, finally, had the euphoric joy of blasting itself to nothingness. Unlike the others, this one boiled over in away that actually caused its explosion to react with hostility to Martia, though her bubble wrap protected her easily.

Under normal circumstances, one might think that setting up three person-sized metal containers to catch the explosive tea rain of a single, less-than-person-sized kettle, might be a bit hopeful and excessive, but for a wonder, net physics were strange in strangely understandable ways sometime,s and Martia's guess seemed to be on the money: the explosive blast sent a positive downpour of boiling tea showering down everywhere, making a beautiful rayliegh scattering of raindrops on water against her bubble as well as making the coals hiss and sizzle.

When the last drops had settled, against all the normal laws of science and physics, Martia and her companion were left with three person-sized fists, each quite full to the brim of gently steaming tea. No-one was going to drink that much, but it certainly smelled refreshing. Now that it was properly brewed, there was a zesty lemon scent to the tea, perfect for refreshing and cleansing the palette and lifting the spirits. It probably bore repeating that this was really, really a LOT of tea. How this had even happened was anyone's guess. One way or the other, though, Martia and her companion were quite clearly the only ones left in the area, now...

Upon inspection, the giant metal fists actually seemed to be insulating the heat for the tea quite well, and weren't growing too hot too quickly, and the air itself shared the same sharp, fresh scent that the vast quantities of tea gave off more strongly. The main question, at this stage, was probably how to get a manageable drink before the maintaining the somewhat misused MeteorKnuckle became too difficult. The Rush seemed excited at least, though it was mostly content to leap over to the nearest fist, clasping onto the sides, and sip directly from the top, albeit carefully.

That said, amongst the data remnants of the boiled kettles, as well as some zenny, there remained something else potentially useful, or maybe just a memento of the very strange encounter.


-=Viruses=-

KettleA: BOILED
KettleB: BOILED
KettleC: BOILED

Rush: 4Hp [Normal][Carefully sipping tea from a giant metal fist][Friendly!]

-=Allies=-

Martia.Exe: 250Hp [Edge of Onsen][Still got chips in her clothes, Ack!]

-=Terrain=-

20% Coal: long strip horizontal to Martia.
40% Onsen: Two pools to either side, stretching the full length of the area.
40% Normal: The Rest

-=Battle(?) 1, Victory!=-

Rewards: 660z, LittleBoiler1

Quote (LittleBoiler1)

HP: 1
Properties: Light
Object Damage: (100 Aqua + Damage Absorbed) + Blast 3
Damage Method: Throw, Knockback, Microburst, Telekinesis, Gust
Attack Damage: (100 Aqua + Damage Absorbed) + Blast 3
Accuracy: E (thrown) / B (trigger)
Description: Throws a boiling kettle 3 panels ahead that boils over when hit once, dealing aqua damage to everything around it without regard to who or what that may be. The damage of the attack that strikes it is added to the blast.
Duration: Until destroyed.
Element: Wood
Special: Time Delay: Upon taking damage, there is a 2 action time delay before the attack triggers.
Special: For the purposes of Elemental Bonuses, this chip is counts as Aqua Element.

Well, she might not have been around for too long, but Martia figured she was starting to get the whole Net thing, upon seeing the three fist shaped containers of tea. She folded her arms in front of her, making some small crunching noises from chips she had failed to notice earlier. "...Ow." Well, maybe she didn't have quite as good a grasp of things as she thought. She watched the Mole race over to a container and start sipping. She started for another one to do the same, but stopped after something in the Kettle remnants caught her eyes. "There's something in there other than money...let's see...LilBoiler? Let's check the specs...aha! This'll be perfect! Leslie, I'm sending the cash over, but not the chip just yet."

"Not even questioning why anymore. Do whatever you want." On the plus side, zenny total up. Not an eye popping amount, but enough to get a little something later.

When the Navi finished, there was only a hovering chip shaped piece of data, gently spinning in place. She grabbed it and accessed it...and after a moment, the chip disappeared, and a Kettle shaped tea cup appeared in her hand. "Well, this is already an amazing chip, if it gets me some tea!" She gently dipped it into one of the containers, blew on it for a bit, and took a sip. "Oh yeah...that's the stuff!" It wasn't green tea, but it was the next best thing: non-green tea. If it wasn't for the fact it was hot, she would've happily guzzled it down in one shot. Then again, tea was best hot and sipped. "A perfect way to wind down after all that thinking!"

"Yeah, speaking of thinking, what are we gonna do with your Mole friend? It doesn't seem right to just leave it."

After wrapping up her first cup, Martia looked over at her new dog-like companion. Her operator was right, she couldn't leave it there. Doubly so since as far as she knew, Moles were incapable of self-defense, and reliant on their incredible resilience and escapability to survive. Of course, there was also a certain solution that fixed that problem...might as well try. But, not before getting another cup of tea. She wasn't in that big a hurry, after all.

After walking over to her friend, and naturally downing some more tea in the process, she took a look at it, before starting her pitch. "Um, listen...I really don't want anything to happen to you. We're friends, after all. But, as long as you're in the main net area, I can't guarantee that. So, what would you say if I knew a place where you live in safety? There's a virtual zoo that's looking for benign viruses to take care of, and they can set it up so you won't have to worry about some Navi that doesn't know any better...well, you know where I'm going with that. I hear they're very accommodating, so I'm sure they'd give you stuff to cook some more great meals! Honestly, I wouldn't be shocked if they gave you your own restaurant, or something...but, won't you go? For me? I just don't want anything to happen to you...I promise I'll come visit!" Because the laws of the universe willed it so, the normally dexterous Navi accidentally spilled much of her tea on herself, getting it all over her chest. The heat didn't bother her much...after getting doused in oil, some hot tea wasn't all that bad. She just sighed at herself, and awaited an answer.
Biblical amounts of tea multiplication aside, The battle was concluded with refreshing drinks all around. The only hitch in the martial-artist's proceedings came a few moments after refilling her impromptu cup for a second time. The giant fists of her strangely misused MeteorKnuckle finally decided that enough was enough and, with a dull shudder, all three weapons-turned-containers dissipated from the net. The result, predictably, was a positive torrent of displaced tea that brought a hiss of steam from the coals as it collapsed into a wave that managed to reach as high as Martia's shins before it ran away.

The Rush, who had been perched on the lip of one of the fists sipping contentedly squeaked in surprise and leaped free moments before his purchase was gone, landing on the nearest safe, dry platform. In this case, that would be Martia again, and he scampered around her chest and shoulders, clinging tight as the herbal torrent flowed off and dissipated.

He shifted around to be able to look at the woman's face more clearly as she spoke her offer, tilting his head slightly as he listened. As far as viruses went, the Rush seemed fairly clever, and probably understood her properly, more or less, but at first his reaction was simply to clamber about Martia's shoulders again, making small affectionate sounds, before nuzzling up against her chest again with extra vigour. Mostly, it looked as though he just wanted to stay with Martia.

Fortunately for the martial artist, she wasn't to be saddled with becoming virus-mamma just yet; as the Rush continued to watch her, gears of thought turned around gradually, and it began to contemplate first that navis tended to leave the net in ways that viruses like it couldn't follow. If that happened, there wouldn't be much hope of having any more opportunities to snuggle them... ah, her. Perhaps if it went where she asked, then she could find him again more easily, and who knew... maybe there would be other friendly individuals who would also like similar hugs. It buried its face in Martia's chest again, nosing around and squishing happily for a few more moments, under the false pretence of sucking spilled tea from her clothes, then decided that such things were worth settling down for. After another few seconds, it looked up at Martia, made some sounds that sounded identifiably positive, then nodded to her. Provided she would show him the way, this little guy was ready to accept her offer, it seemed.