Meleeman Joins the NP Again

The last thing Meleeman would ever allow himself to do would be admitting his loneliness. Learning to accept the differences of others? Sure. Establishing a broader emotional range! Maybe. Admitting the presence of such an eliminate feeling as loneliness? Don't count on it. "No," he answered simply. He didn't think it was a lie; he had really only called her so that he could check out the new equipment once more.

...Which led him to wonder why she needed to join the NP after all. "Right, you've got to join the NP because the Mafia Bloodhounds are jackasses that need grinding into jackass powder," he explained. "See, I never told you about it, but one of them was trying to do some mental programming with me, and one of them attacked Rania on the outside, and I beat up this suitcase in gold armor, then-"

Damascus interrupted the rambling for a more concise explanation. "You know what they say about idle hands. No one understands that concept better than a weapon," she offered. "Master believes that you would be a worthy source of aid for the NP as they work to stint future attacks."

"Right, right. Yeah, when I joined I saved some senator from getting attacked and got to punch the light out of a plant guy. It was awesome," he encouraged her. "Sounds good, right?"

"Master applied for the Justice department as is befitting to his... our violent nature," Damascus continued. "You and Magna should consider where you could do the greatest good.'

"Feh..." grumbled Anyis as she ran a hand through hair, expressing some visible distaste with the idea. "I just rid myself of the ghost stuff, and you're already trying to tie me down with the NetPolice? I'm not really one for the rank and file of a group like that..." That said, Anyis fell silent for a moment as a thought crossed her mind. Her gaze dropped down to her feet as she pondered, with one hand covering the puzzled frown on her face. "Well... alright," decided Anyis as she looked back up at MeleeMan and Damascus, "I guess I owe you guys one for the Titan, so I can temporarily join if you need me."

Having said that, Anyis turned on her heels and walked over to an info terminal. She began pecking at it lazily, tossing various files to and fro with her finger before dragging out the promotional information on the NetPolice's different departments. "MeleeMan signed up for Justice, did he...?" muttered Anyis while reading. "Hmm... Meh. Even sugarcoated, this just screams goonie, and I'm no foot soldier. Moving on... Ah, yeah. You have any input, Magna? I guess this is sort of concerning you, too."

Since looming over the Mother Unit was hardly an issue for him, Magna made his way over to stand behind her and look down at the terminal as she thumbed through the descriptions. "... I wish to inquire further about the Public Safety department." announced Magna quickly as soon as the Mother Unit opened that promotion page.

"That's... really you, I guess. It is your life dream to throw yourself in front of every bullet ever fired on the Net, after all." sighed Anyis, before closing out that page with a little extra emphasis. "Unfortunately, though, I'm not going to be babysitting victims day in and day out. Next... Technology? Hahahahah, no." she stated firmly with a very dry laugh. "Prosecutions has action... but this covert thing isn't really my style, nevermind the 11 foot tall cohorts following me around. How about Investigations... Funny, my ghost powers probably would've done some good there. Oh well, not interested anyway."

"Mother Unit, I should notify you that you have eliminated all but one remaining option." announced Magna, observing the corner that she had backed herself into.

"Huh... Whoops. Well, what is it? Internal Affairs? Ick, sounds like a desk job..." grumbled Anyis as she ran her eyes over the public information. "Hmm? Discipline...? Hey, there's something. Fighting and being in charge, that's my kind of deal!" With that declaration, Anyis closed out her messy array of windows and shut down the terminal. "How's that work for you, Magna?"

"I will adapt as necessary." replied Magna simply, before pausing at giving it some actual thought. "I... theorize that I may have an advantage in restraining unruly targets in the situation you are proposing, Mother Unit."

"Probably, considering you can pick me up with one hand." nodded Anyis before confirming, "Alright, we're doing that then." With the decision made, Anyis walked back over to MeleeMan. "Hey, we're joining up with Internal Affairs. I'll just be a disciplinary officer for crazy fools like you. So, uh... Make that happen."

"Like that's all you owe me for," Meleeman scoffed, as though he had some mental laundry list of favors Anyis owed him. It was mostly a lot of wishful thinking on his part. "But wow, to think you'd shack up with the eggheads just to try and boss me around! You must like barking at me even more than you like fighting!"

"... Do you want her to join or not?" Rania hissed, justifiably calling attention to the discrepancy between her navi's words and his motivation.

"Yeah, well, if she wants to play boss and wear a blazer and miniskirt with her cop cap, that's her business," he shrugged, painting a more vivid mental image for everyone than he'd meant to convey. "Cause, you know, that's what office women wear."

"It is our business as well, considering she wants us to go ask," Damascus reminded her master, giving him a leery glare that conveyed some contempt.

"Oh. Alright," he shrugged, seeming far more at ease with the idea than Rania or Damascus had expected. He reset his frown and approached the desk he'd just slapped with a swagger, then gave it another identical slap. "Hey! That girl back there, Anyis, the one with the purple hair, wants to apply for your Consensual-"

"Internal," Damascus corrected him.

"Extramarrital Affairs Department," Meleeman revised his statement, now obviously going out of his way to make the name into a joke. "I'm Meleeman, with Justice. I'm going to help her out in exchange for... NP fun bux. Points, you know? Faction points, that's it. Going to go ahead and give my faction a head start over hers, heh."

The NormalNavi on duty took an uninterested look at MeleeMan and Anyis, then started bringing up pop-up screens in front of him "Internal Affairs and Justice...a mission came in not long ago that would be perfect for such a pair...now where'd it go...there we go. Take a look and see if it works for you." With a single button press, pop-up screens appeared in front of the Navis, allowing both them and their operators (and any SPs that felt like it) to check out this allegedly perfect mission.

Quote (Mission Request (Sender Unknown))

Recently, a ranked member of the Department of Technology has been skipping out on his duties to work on an independent project. Since he's doing this without clearance, we need a capable Navi or two to head over to his laboratory and find out what he's doing. Strong Navis are preferable for this, since some of his experiments are...well, let's just say you should get your BattleChips ready. This would be a great introduction mission for someone seeking to enter Internal Affairs, since then none of us in that department has to deal with that freaky guy it's excellent practice for dealing with, well, internal affairs.

To boil it down, in case a Navi that wants this mission has a short attention span:
1 - Enter homepage of missing Technology officer
2 - Find out what's so important he can't even come do his regular job
3 - Try not to get killed by what's so important he can't even come do his regular job (might not be required, but it's a safe assumption)
4 - Get officer to get back to regular work

To GNA Navi on duty: Upon acceptance, please give out attached coordinates and P-Code data to the Navi's homepage. Otherwise, they won't be able to get in, and we here at the NetPolice aren't fond of impossible missions.

"So, you want this one, or should bring something else up?"

"It'll do." answered Anyis ahead of everyone else, before turning back around to look at Magna, MeleeMan and Damascus. She paused momentarily, having realized something, and then looked back at the GNA representative. "... Collateral damage isn't going to be an issue, right?"

"I can restrain my offensive functions if they become unsuitable for the operation, Mother Unit." offered Magna in response.

"You cause collateral damage just trying to fit through doors." noted Anyis bluntly.

"... True." was all Magna could retort with, having no solution in mind to that problem.

Anyis shrugged, not really being all that concerned as long as she wasn't footing the bill. "Oh, and MeleeMan. It specifically says bring the guy back in one piece. So, don't kill him or anything. Got it?"

"Heh," Meleeman laughed, thumbing his nose with a rare chuckle at Magna's expense. "My SP has a similar problem getting through doors on account of her own ass, you know." He kept ons snickering, caught up in that mental image. The SP's glare continued to grow darker, but he didn't give a hoot, since in his mind she couldn't follow him through a door. It was actually true, joking aside, that her dimensions had gotten her stuck in entrances from time to time. "And sheesh, I'm not going to just kill the guy. Have some common sense."

Rania gave a smile to her navi for the show of decency. "I'll just rough him up a little," Meleeman continued, batting his big metal fists together with a menacing smirk. Her frown returned.

"I will be careful not to destroy him with my hips," Damascus murmured, still giving him the evil eye.

"You do that," her master shrugged in response. "Anyways, it sounds fine. Give us the link already."

"Doesn't say anything about collateral damage anywhere. I guess you should avoid too much, though, if you don't want to get on that Navi's bad side. I mean, if someone came into my operator's house and started tearing up the place, he wouldn't be very happy, you know?" Aside from answering the question, the NormalNavi was completely silent as he whipped up data packets for each Navi.

MeleeMan and Anyis GET:
- HomepageCoordinates.DAT
- NervousPCode

(Topic in Homepages coming right up)

"You heard the man. No scratching the walls with your fat ass," MeleeMan warned his SP before transporting the two of them to follow Anyis.

((Moving to homepage))

MeleeMan arrived back to the kiosk with Damascus and (hopefully) the navi he'd been sent out to check up on. He butted his way to he front of the line quickly, then slapped the desk again. "Hey, this is MeleeMan, Justice department! The other navi I was with got in a fight with something bigger than me, so yeah, she's patching up. But we did our mission and I even brought back the ol' braincase himself to show he's alright," MeleeMan announced, although NervousMan would probably be patching up now too if things had gone just a bit differently. Of course, NervousMan might have ditched him and not reported in after all, but LIKE HELL was he going to waste any energy doing anything more than thumbing backwards and assuming the scientist was behind him.

"I was up for some faction points and she was going into Internal Affairs," he continued, accidentally revealing that he remembered the name of the department. Well, Anyis wasn't around anyways, so there wouldn't be any fun mispronouncing it right now regardless. "So use your database or whatever to make her an NP member."

Surprisingly, NervousMan was already there at the kiosk, waiting, when MeleeMan and Damascus showed up. "There you are. It seems your location transferral protocols are a bit slow."

"Don't hit the kiosk like that, please. It's easier to break than you'd think." Despite that not having anything to do with anything, several screens were brought up before the NormalNavi, who checked them. "Let's see...in a nutshell, your mission was to locate a missing officer, find out what he was doing, and bring him back. The mission requestor hasn't given us any indication of success, however."

"That's simply because I've yet to check in with. I'm NervousMan, the missing officer. I suspect I know who assigned this mission, so if you would be so kind, please send him a message that I'll be at NetPolice HQ in a few minutes."

"If you say so..." A few moments of typing, followed by a click. Clearly, this was a super incredibly exciting job. "Sent. I'll have to wait for the requestor to confirm the mission's success, even though it's pretty obvious to anyone with eyes, and probably most without eyes. Red tape, and all that."

"Understood. It's a true pain, that. Sometimes it keeps me from getting any work done..."

The NormalNavi stared at the brainy Navi, in awe that someone actually understood what he meant. Granted, the two dealt in very different types of red tape, but the sentiment was still there. "Just got the green light. So, congrats on making the NetPolice...er..." He looked around a bit, realizing that he was congratulating thin air. "Er, there's supposed to be a woman named Anyis joining the Internal Affairs branch. Where is she?"

"I'm afraid she couldn't make it. She and this Navi assisted me in testing some of my creations, but she was injured in the process."

"...Well, whatever. She's officially in, with all the benefits and responsibilities thereof. Hooray. Now, let's see...MeleeMan. Your reward was to be faction points. Let's just let it process, and...okay, you've been approved for 60, for completing a three star mission. Congrats."

"Excellent. It sounds like I'm not needed now, so I'll be off to HQ now." And with that, NervousMan...started walking off? To his credit, he was at least going in the direction of where he was saying he was going, so chances were he was actually fulfilling his NP duties. But, more importantly, MeleeMan and Damascus were finally free of him. Free!

Anyis GET: NetPolice Internal Affairs Membership
MeleeMan GET: 60 FP