Valkyire.EXE VS Red.EXE

As the Navis jack in, their Net Operators are shown a 3-D model of the arena their Navis will be fighting in with various features labeled and highlighted as the presentation runs. At the end of the presentation, the environmental statistics for this arena are displayed for reference.

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Arena: Surprise!

The arena consists...of a gigantic single layer cake. Yes, a simple yet elegant baker's masterpiece, with its dark brown color indicating a chocolate flavor, and topped with fluffy white and red frosting. It almost seems like a crime to fight on it instead of eat...but such is the way of NetBattles.

Terrain Breakdown
40% Frosting
30% Decorative Frosting
10% Candle
20% Plate
0% Cake
0% Cover

Terrain Description

Frosting - Delicious, whipped frosting. Aside from being yummy to any Navi with a sweet tooth (or any tooth), it can prove to be the undoing of many a seasoned warrior, despite only going up to the midway of a standard height Navi's boot. Due to its creaminess, it makes much the 'floor' quite slippery, causing Navis to slide around if they're not careful. However, it can also be picked up and thrown with certain weapons. It's too soft to do any damage (even if you stuffed in a cannon and shot someone point blank, it couldn't hurt them), but it can make the area more balance friendly, and a well aimed throw with it could inflict Blind status for a turn or so. Not to mention making the one getting hit really, really embarrassed by getting hit by frosting.

Decorative Frosting - More of the scrumptious frosting, this time in a red color. The big difference between it and regular Frosting is that it's denser and rises much higher, clear to a stand Navi's chest. This makes it harder to maneuver around, of course, and in a worst case scenario, a Navi could be completely stuck for a moment or two. Of course, if you can master this terrain, it's a potentially effective place to hide, bringing an interesting risk/reward to play. Interestingly, if the cake is viewed from a bird's eye view, the decorative frosting appears to say 'Happy Birthday!' in big, bold letters. But whose birthday is it? ...Luckily, it's someone's birthday every day, so the creators of the cake need not think of an actual explanation.

Candle (200 HP each, 10 total candles) - Pink and white swirl around the candles as they rise clear above the heads of Navis, culminating in a bright orange flame around 7 feet up. The candles themselves are surprisingly difficult to destroy, making them prime places to hide and catch one's breath despite only being about twice as wide as a standard Navi. They also serve as a potential peril to those that grow weary of being hindered by the Frosting, as those that aren't careful while flying are sure to feel the wrath of the 'fire' in the form of 20 damage each time they run into it, and even grounded Navis must make sure to keep their hands a safe distance from them. Wind-based attacks can put them out for a turn. Bizarrely, the candles' flames aren't actually fire, and are simply illusions; the true damage comes from the razor sharp blades that make up each candle's wick, and lose their sharpness when hit by wind. Maybe they're actually fluorescent candles? The wonders of candle technology...

Plate - It's a big cake, but that doesn't mean it's the only thing around. The arena sits on an even more gigantic plate, which happens to be white and decorated with lovely blue tulips around the edge. It mainly serves as a barrier against those falling off the cake, be it by an opponent design, their own design, or some other design. It can be fought on as though it were regular panels, without the usual distractions of the arena. Of course, there isn't a ton of room to move horizontally between the edge of the cake and the edge of the plate, and moving to the bottom takes one action, as well, so try and be sure it's the right decision before consciously dropping down.

Cake - Even though the entire arena focuses on it, by default the cake itself has no role at all aside from providing the floor beneath the Frosting. However, if said Frosting is moved somehow, the top of cake becomes visible. This makes that part of the cake act like a regular panel, being able to be traversed without incident. Of course, you could also eat the cake if you choose...but aside from being delicious, doing so has no benefit to the Navi. At least it'd prove that the cake is no falsehood.

Cover - A cheap plastic cover, with small cracks here and naturally, it's indestructible. It provides a cylindrical seal around the cake, from the edge of the plate to around 10 feet above the top of the candle flames. Thanks to this, all Navis are confined to the cake and its surrounding areas, without fear of being knocked a mile away A small knob at the top-center provides a means to remove the cover from the outside...but is there anyone outside the cover? Could it be possible that an entire existence exists beyond the realm of the cake? Or is it simply a covered cake on a table? The world may never know...

Once the information is relayed to the Operators, they are given a few moments to strategize with their Navis before the match begins...
Red and Myun jacked in to find that...

...they were standing on a giant cake.

"Whoa!" Red yelled out in surprise, glancing around at the arena as he operator was fed the information. "Shin! This is...!"

"A giant.... birthday cake," Shin finished, whistling as he looked at the arena specks.

Red dropped down to her knees, looking at the decadent stage in awe. Myun picked up a chunk of the frosting to find it was, actually edible.

"Wow, is it someone's birthday? Oh well, I guess everyone has a birthday some day," Shin admitted, examining the bird's eye view of the arena.

"Can I eat it?" Red inquired gleefully, already trying to stuff the creamy frosting into her mouth.

"Uh, sure," Shin replied, his stomach growling. "Uh, hold on, I'll go grab something while you're doing that." With that Shin left to buy something edible.

"S'okay," Red mumbled back, mouth filled with cake already.
- I'm kind of excited, you know.

Valkyrie stood on the plate, surveying the arena. She didn't really know where to begin with the cake... she wasn't even sure what it was.

- Why? Getting butterflies in your stomach cause we are in the semi finals?
- Who cares about the tournament? I'm concentrating on the fight. I'm going to fight someone strong for once!
- Well, yeah, Red did make it into the semi finals so she's gotta be strong but...
- Red? Makes me think of blood, fire... And Erik the Red. I can't wait for this fight!
- That may be, but listen she's...
- Hah, judge got a bit carried away. If she doesn't watch it that white goo will spill all over her Red... Riding... Hood... OH GODDAMMIT!
- As I was saying... errr... try not to underestimate her.
- Yeah, right. Why would I underestimate a little blonde girl with a picnic basket? It's not like I'm an armored warrior with a lance or something. OH WAIT! YES I AM!
- Still, she made it this far... looks can be deceiving.

Valkyrie held her hands up to her mouth, kinda like an improvised megaphone, to give a bit more direction to her shout.

- Hey, shorty! How's the cake? No need to stop, just gesture when you are ready!

Well, there goes the tact approach. Then again, that wasn't their style anyway. With a sigh, Sieg started to analyze the possible advantages of the frosting.
((Match will begin when both combatants post 'Ready'))
Red's head shot up when she heard someone call out. The other combatant had arrived.

She looked at Valkyrie, shrugged, and gave her a thumbs up, before swallowing whatever she was eating.

"This stuff is great, Ms. Valkryie! You should try some later!" Red exclaimed.

"Hmmm, well, I don't think she's here to partake in the sweets," Shin commented as he returned with two boxes.

"Oooh~ What'd you get?" Red inquired.

"Taiyaki, strange that they sell them in Netopia, but... oh well. You ready Myun?" Shin inquired sarcastically as the support unit still hadn't stopped at devouring the frosting. Hearing her name, the rabbit stopped what she was doing and got up.

After wiping the cream off her face, she gave Shin a thumbs up.

"Yeah yeah, well we've got another good match ahead of us, so..." Shin started, before a his navi interrupted him.

"Let's get this match started! Woohoo!" Red cheered, excited for this round. "Take no quarter! Take the whole thing!"

"You've got that right. Ready when you are!" Shin called, grinning.

[Red_Riding_Hood.EXE: 210 HP]
[Myun.SP: 100 HP]

(( Back tomorrow don't drop. ))
((<drops regardless>))

((Jk, but I expect leeway during the first two weeks of September when I'm traveling abroad in Japan and China.))
((Monkey take, monkey give))
-Oh man, I LOVE taiyaki... wanna trade? I've got some Electopian nuggets with caramel filling and crushed nuts...

Sieg dug around in his pockets for a while before finding the box of sweets he was looking for. There was something in the way light reflected on it that suggested... stickiness. And possibly some expired dates.

- What the hell is that orange-ish brown fuzzy thing over there?
-Well, the sweets are from almost two weeks ago and I think I've accidentally spilled some soda on it, so it's only natural that some kind of fungi...
- I meant that thing at Red's leg.
-I know. It was a joke. I mean, look at this, do you see any fuzz on it? Okay, so there are some white spots here and there, but I'm certain they are completely healthy...
-Looks like some support unit in the shape of an adorable little rabbit.
- A support... unit? I thought this tournament is one on one!
- Hey now... you should know best that everyone fights the way they can. Some fight using guts and lance, and some bring fuzzy animals to fight alongside them. I mean, look at that pitiful thing. It'd be worth half a navi at best. And I'm being generous.
-Hah, it's not like it matters. Just one more thing for my lance to pierce...

Valkyrie brandished her lance and assumed a fighting stance, pointing her weapon at Red & co.

- Fine! I'll show you the cruel reality of the battlefield! PREPARE YOURSELF, RED RIDING HOOD!

[size0]-So how about 2 nuggets for 3 pieces of taiyaki? 3 for 4?[/size]


Valkyrie.exe: 120 HP
((Sorry, guys. Been unreasonably busy.))

The PA system crackles to life, "Uh, Is this thing on now?" a voice popped over, and the sounds of a crowd cheering in the background could be heard. "Oh! Yes! Well, HERE WE ARE!" the announcer roared. "AT THE ONB SEMIFINAL!" More applause.


All ten of the birthday cake's candles exploded, and began to burn brightly. "Oh, and on a related note, Happy Birthday to Ted in accounting's daughter, Susie!" The announcer added.


ONB Tournament SemiFinal

Valkyire.EXE: 120 Hit Points


Red.EXE: 210 Hit Points
-----Assisting: Myun.SP: 100 Hit Points
Suddenly, weakened from starting to get melty, one of the giant candles collapsed, landing on Valkyire, smashing her. Dead.

"Uh, maybe a birthday cake wasn't the best idea for an arena after all. TED, YOU'RE FIRED." the announcer announced. "Er, rules are rules, I guess, so since Valkyire was just killed and stuff, Red wins! RED.EXE IS NOW YOUR ONB FINALIST!"

Two very confused Mr. Progs came out onto the cake, one brought a fancy envelope to Red. "For the final!" he said. The other was lugging a large bag. He drug it next to the fallen candle, where a gauntlet was just barely sticking up out of the frosting. "Uh, for you. Pick: 10000 Zenny, a Longsword, or an M-Cannon."

ONB Tournament SemiFinal

Valkyire.EXE: 0 Hit Points LOSE! GET: 10000Z OR Longsword OR M-Cannon


Red.EXE: 210 Hit Points WIN! GET: Final Pass
-----Assisting: Myun.SP: 100 Hit Points
"This Colosseum is bugged. I might have to try and fix it sometime," Shin mused, throwing his bag of taiyaki over at Sieg as the match reached its quick end.

"Off to train, I guess?" Red inquired, she and Myun already jacking out.

"Hm, that's not a bad idea," the self-proclaimed ace stated as he walked out.

Sieg caught the box taiyaki... then after a second of thinking, threw it behind his back.

- I kind of lost my appetite.

Not to mention that I'm not in the mood for pity presents. The thought harbored inside his head so clearly, that any ESPs present would have had to turn their third eye away.

Once the 10000Z transaction was complete, Sieg plugged the jack in cable out, then left the place without a word.