Unclever Topic Title

With the immediately destructive virus out of her hair, Shuri looked over to see how everything had taken it. The EleBall seemed to be trying to slow down the merry-go-round...good first step, no need to terminate them. The Octon were...being Octon. One spat out a balloon, but it was completely impossible to tell where it was going for now, if anywhere specific, so no need to worry about it for the moment. If nothing else, it didn't seem to be going after her personally. And the Swordy-

Before she could gauge their reaction, one went right behind her. She readied herself to get out of the way, but before there was any need for it, it messed up and wound up headplanting into the ground. That...was kind of embarrassing. "I see you intend to continue. But be warned. You may not play nice...but I don't play at all." Not giving the virus ample time to recover, she flipped her blade into a reverse grip, and powerfully stabbed downward to add more than injury to insult. Whether it hit the Swordy in the process, once it hit the ground, it instantly shattered and faded away, leaving her without any obvious sword in hand. At this moment, Shurimpy tugged on her leg again, causing her to turn to him. "What IS it?"

The virus-like SP made another motion to its own mask, then pointed at her. Notably, it was more urgent than before.

"Listen, we can play after I've handled this. So can you-" Having had enough, the crustacean whipped up a small bubble, grabbed it, and flung it into his master's face. "What was that for?! Just because that wasn't a harmful bubble doesn't give you the right to smack me on the cheek with it!" ...Wait, the cheek? If that hit her directly there, that meant...no...

"Meep!" With a surprisingly indignant cry, she hastily raised her arm in front of her face, leaving only her eyes visible, as she usually wished to be seen. "What the hell, Naomi?!"

"Consider it payback for earlier! I kinda wish you hadn't found out until you ran into another Navi, though..."

"Oh, we're talking about this later!" She attempted to reactivate her normal appearance, but nothing happened. "Give me my mask back!"

"No! I think you need to learn how mortified I was when you dropped trou, so I'm not letting you wear it until this errand's done!"

"......" In a rare moment, Shuri's emotions were on clear display, with her face evenly split between fury and embarassment. Still, she had the sense of mind to look back on the viruses, to see if they were following orders. She'd already prepared for incoming Swordy strikes; if she noticed the one that did catch her a bit by surprise, she could certainly catch the one she saw coming. "...EleBall! I said stop that! You're gonna spin it clear off! Go...spin around something else that won't do that!" It wasn't wholly obvious how much weight her words would carry, though, as she continued to be completely adverse to showing her face in public, even if they were just viruses.

Shurimpy, for his part, was content to just float around, and potentially avoid anything that might come his way. If nothing else, his Navi was making enough of a scene that he didn't feel overly worried about it.

---TURN SPLICE---
3-WideBlade chip attack on Swordy-EA (110, B, Slashing)
4-Dodge]

[Order of Shurimpy's Turn:
1-Dodge]
Being attacked didn't induce magnanimous reactions from Shuri and her swift retribution against the clumsy Sword went off about as flawlessly as could be hoped. Its buddy, about to attack, hesitated. Its sword appeared to pass from one hand to the other a few times, less certain, and it weaved back and forth as it watched her, just in case the serious-time ninja came for it. She didn't, so its wariness went to waste, but it still didn't seem particularly friendly.

The Eleballs, to this point, had apparently only been listening to Shuri so that they could more effectively mock her, however, upon her quite accidental metool impersonation, one of them looked more towards her, quizzical, and ended up drifting away from the carousel as a result. The other one had a different reaction: Shuri had commanded that it go and spin around something else, and in true mocking spirit, it obeyed. The electrical virus finished its current loop around the carousel, then cam shooting towards Shuri herself at full pace, beginning to circle her instead. As it approached, the hitherto absent balls of circling electricity normally accompanying the virus sprang into full force, and the ninja was able to avoid one of the little orbiting balls of pain, though the second one managed to brush against her hip with a jolt while the virus circled around her gleefully.

-=Playing at Navis and Viruses=-

Swordy-E-A: DELETED
Swordy-E-B: 80Hp [On MonkeyBars][Metal]
EleBallA: 80Hp [Watching Shuri][Normal]
EleBallB: 80Hp [Orbiting Shuri!][Normal]
OctonA: 120Hp [Atop Carousel][Metal][Dizzy - Off-Target]
OctonB: 120hp [On Slide][Sleeping!][Metal]
ArmadillA: DELETED

-=Constantly Delayed=-

Shuri: 140Hp [Normal]
Shurimpy: 60Hp [Normal]

-=Terrain=-

80% Normal
20% Metal [All playground equipment is metal if stood or climbed on]

-=Objects=-

MonkeyBars: 80Hp [Anchored][Metal][Left Mid]
Carousel: 90Hp [Anchored][Might have a chance to slow down now][Metal][Central]
Slide: 100Hp [Anchored][Metal][Right Near]
Swings: DELETED
Though she'd taken some time to check on the other viruses in case some attacked her, Shuri's mental thing about being seen without her mask ended up undoing it, as she managed to flinch just enough from the Swordy watching her to get hit by a ball of electricity. Which, while not overly painful, was just close enough to being a slap on the ass to freak her out slightly. "That's it. You're dead! Naomi!"

"Yeah, something to deaden it, coming up." Honestly, she just didn't get how her Navi could lose her cool over something as small as an exposed face. It wasn't like Shuri was ugly...she thought she was rather cute, herself. Ah, there was something that'd work. "This'll work for deaden...ing...BattleChip, BambooKnife! Slot in!"

A wooden kunai appeared in the hand not being used to cover her shame, which the ninja Navi clutched more tightly than usual. She silently waited for the EleBall to orbit in front of her, and at that point...it'd get quite a vigorous, one handed stabbing. She was in no mood for anything trying to make fun of her at this point, or trying to cop a feel. Not without her mask.

...Unfortunately for Naomi, there was a flaw in her plan. One that a certain shrimp SP managed to realize. Since Shuri was so upset about not having a mask, if she had one again, she'd be happy again. And he had a mask that he'd be fine with not wearing for a bit...problem solved. He tugged at his Navi's leg one more time. "Ugh, NOW what, Shurim...py." She was slightly annoyed as she looked over, but that went away as soon as she noticed a purple piece of fabric being held up with its claws. And Shurimpy himself was suddenly not wearing the one he usually did. "...Really? You'd let me borrow it? Thank you...!" Without delay, she snatched it up, and put it on. It would only cover her face, but she had no problem with that. It did smell a bit like shrimp, though. "Shurimpy, remind me when the threat's passed, and I'll give you a great big hug to show you how much I appreciate this." The SP happily raised its claws, clearly happy with the chosen reward. "How about that, Naomi? You just got outsmarted by a shrimp."

"I...ouch."

"That's what I thought." Navi and SP remained on the same wavelength, as both readied themselves for evasion. Any and all stress in the former's expression was gone, as she returned to her default look of appearing to be half-asleep.

[Order of Turn:
1-BambooKnife chip attack on EleBallB (60, Wood, B, Slashing)
2-Dodge
---TURN SPLICE---

[Order of Shurimpy's Turn:
1-Dodge]
Finding herself suddenly frayed of nerve, Shuri was all business as she swiftly dispatched the Eleball that was teasing her, bringing her knife to bear and converting the EleBall into EleHemispheres before it had another chance to smack her with its balls of electricity. The other one seemed to take this retaliation amiss, and began spinning its own electrical options, but before it could make a proper move, the second Swordy darted in to avenge its buddy. While it wasn't quite as clumsy as the first, it still wasn't doing a very good job in an actual sword fight; it appeared at Shuri's side, sweeping its blade, but perhaps something about the teleport angle threw it off; the swipe cut so low that the blade scraped across the ground near the ninja's feet, missing her entirely.

Nearby, the carousel was finally slowing down to a reasonable speed, and the dizzy Octon was trying to focus on things, though its eyes were still spinning. Far above, there was a faint pop as its errant balloon burst, affecting nothing at all.


-=Playing at Navis and Viruses=-

Swordy-E-A: DELETED
Swordy-E-B: 80Hp [At Shuri's Side][Normal]
EleBallA: 80Hp [Watching Shuri][Normal]
EleBallB: DELETED
OctonA: 120Hp [Atop Carousel][Metal][Dizzy - Off-Target]
OctonB: 120hp [On Slide][Sleeping!][Metal]
ArmadillA: DELETED

-=Constantly Delayed=-

Shuri: 140Hp [Normal][BambooKnife 5/6]
Shurimpy: 60Hp [Normal]

-=Terrain=-

80% Normal
20% Metal [All playground equipment is metal if stood or climbed on]

-=Objects=-

MonkeyBars: 80Hp [Anchored][Metal][Left Mid]
Carousel: 90Hp [Anchored][Metal][Central]
Slide: 100Hp [Anchored][Metal][Right Near]
Swings: DELETED

-=Shuri has 2 Actions Remaining=-
Unsurprisingly, the remaining Swordy had a bone to pick with Shuri, and she prepared to get out of the way...but instead, stood in place and watched it manage to completely and totally miss her. "I think I understand how these guys were scratching the monkey bars up, now..."

"Me too..."

"Well, at least you'll go down having seen some decent bladework." And with that, she sliced at the knight virus in a perfect overhead arc. Even if she missed with it, she'd have made good on her remark. Not that she'd planned to. And so, she turned to the last of her Elec elemental foes. "I gave you a chance. But did you take it? Nope. So I don't feel the slightest bit bad for this." In the blink of an eye, the ninja Navi had flipped the knife in her hand so that she was holding the sharp end, took a moment to figure out her aim, and hurled it at the sphericalish virus. She wouldn't need it afterward anyway, and it involved not having to run over there and use the effort to slash it. And not using unnecessary movement was rather ninjalike, if she did say so. And she did.

"...Hey, Shuri?"

"Yes?"

"Look, about what I did-"

"We can discuss it afterward. For now it'd just get in the way of the fight."

"All right, if you feel that way..."

---TURN SPLICE---
3-BambooKnife chip attack on Swordy-EB (60, Wood, C, Slashing)
4-BambooKnife chip attack on EleBallA (60, Wood, C, Slashing)]
Like its buddy before it, the Swordy paid for its incompetence with a swift death. The Carousel had slowed down to a gradual stop, tilting slightly on its base, and the last EleBall made its rush at Shuri. Unfortunately for it, it was rushing right at her as her knife was rushing right at it, and it didn't end up making it as far as the ninja before the laws of general physics took their dues.

About a second and a half after this, something odd happened. There was a sudden downpour of water. Not rain, in the normal sense, but a literal torrent of water falling form the sky to drop harmlessly over everyone left in the playground. Harmless maybe, but it was still utterly drenching. A sharp mind might guess it was from the burst aqua balloon that the dizzy Octon had sent skywards; a more present mind might note the fact that it was freaking freezing.

contentedly sleeping through the entire scuffle, the snoozing Octon perked up with a start, shaking itself off and yawning before looking around with slow blinks. the one on top of the carousel was shaking itself off too and looking curiously at Shuri; it seemed to be aware that she hadn't been overtly aggressive towards either of them yet, and that she was probably responsible for it not being spun around at such a frantic dizzy pace any more. The one on the slide decided that what it wanted to really do was was wave to the cute little shrimpy, and it did so with a kind of sleepy but well-meaning enthusiasm.


-=Playing at Navis and Viruses=-

Swordy-E-A: DELETED
Swordy-E-B: DELETED
EleBallA: DELETED
EleBallB: DELETED
OctonA: 120Hp [Atop Carousel][Metal]
OctonB: 120hp [On Slide][Metal]
ArmadillA: DELETED

-=Constantly Delayed=-

Shuri: 140Hp [Normal]
Shurimpy: 60Hp [Normal]

-=Terrain=-

80% Normal
20% Metal [All playground equipment is metal if stood or climbed on]

-=Objects=-

MonkeyBars: 80Hp [Anchored][Metal][Left Mid]
Carousel: 90Hp [Anchored][Metal][Central]
Slide: 100Hp [Anchored][Metal][Right Near]
Swings: DELETED

"A slash and a throw, and the Elec viruses...became scrap data." Shuri set her hands on her hips, proud of herself for managing to make a haiku on the spot...but her pride didn't last, as she became a recipient of a sudden shower. "Whoa, that's cold." She honestly had seen the water coming, having heard the pop...but she thought it'd be lukewarm, not like it came straight from the North Pole. Unsurprisingly, it made her already tight outfit cling to her body, revealing the three strips she used as undergarments. The bottom one held up well enough, but thanks to the water's frigidity, the ones covering her breasts weren't entirely succeeding at their attempt to make their wearer decent...though to be fair, if it wasn't for them, it'd look as though she was wearing nothing but paint on her chest. Her SP didn't notice this (or if he did, he wasn't into non-shrimp), but seemed to be quite happy about the not-quite-rain. Being water based probably helped with that.

Once again, it fell on the operator to be embarrassed enough for both of them. She was certainly red enough for it. "Sh-Shuri! Cover yourself!"

"Hmm? ...Oh." She looked down, noticing things that were not normally noticed by a simple look down. "Even if I did, I'm 99% sure this is clinging to me tightly enough to show off my ass crack, so I wouldn't really be work-safe."

"But..."

"Yes, that's why it makes no sense to cover myself in front, because my back would be exposed anyway." Speaking of front, time to confront the Octon...but they certainly weren't being very aggressive. With a little luck, she wouldn't have to resort to the sword like she did with the others. Or the knife. "Well, now that we're all awake, I have some words for you two." Motion from the corner of her eye made the damp ninja look over at Shurimpy, who was happily waving back at the cephalopod. She silently nodded, then continued. "You're clearly not the worst of viruses, so I'll make you an offer. I can send you to the virus zoo, where you can sleep and not get made super dizzy by EleBall in peace. The one catch is that any and all of your attack power gets set to zero, if you're into battles, it's not the best of places for you. I'm not getting that feeling from you two, though, so I'm offering. And if you say no, well, I'll just let you be, on the condition that you promise not to mess up the playground any further, and not to attack anyone that shows up to play here...well, unless they strike first, in which case I can't blame you for it. It's your call. What will it be?" Now she just had to stand there and wait. With her clothes sticking to her curvy frame. Good thing there wasn't a mirror around, or else she might have to get a little physical with the woman on the other side.

The paralegal had remained quiet, but came to a sudden realization during the speech. "Hold on, now's the perfect chance for this! BattleChip, Recover30! Slot in!"

Shuri glowed pink for a moment, as the painful effects of EleBall fist sparks went away. She didn't really seem particularly bothered or thankful for it, and just shrugged as she awaited an answer.

[Order of Turn:
1-Make zoo offer to Octon
2-Recover30 chip attack on Shuri (30, S, Recovery)
3-Await answer
4-Await answer]

[Order of Shurimpy's Turn:
1-Wave at OctonB (Hi OctonB!)]
Sudden showers and the scenery they provided aside, Shuri was all business when it came to Non-Hostile Virus Rescue. They listened, and didn't do anything hostile, although the one that was just waking up yawned and sent a balloon skyward harmlessly. If they waited around long enough, They'd probably all get another cold shower. Eventually, the formerly dizzy one came to a decision. It seemed to recognise that it owed Shuri some kind of thanks, and expressed this by nodding to her, and beginning the careful task of climbing down from its high perch towards her.

The other one, listening to Shuri with only half an ear, waved a few more limbs gleefully at Shurimpy, then blew gently; the small gust the reached the little SP would be enough to be felt, but no more than that. It was hard to tell what it was doing, but it was either some kind of friendly play, or possibly flirting. Who knew with these things? After a moment it nudged itself forward and slipped down the slide, resting closer to Shuri and her SP at the bottom now, and it seemed like it was probably willing to take the offer too.

-=Playing at Navis and Viruses=-

Swordy-E-A: DELETED
Swordy-E-B: DELETED
EleBallA: DELETED
EleBallB: DELETED
OctonA: 120Hp [Climbing Down][Metal][Accepting!]
OctonB: 120hp [Bottom of Slide][Flirting?][Metal][Probably Accepting!]
ArmadillA: DELETED

-=Constantly Delayed=-

Shuri: 150Hp [Normal]
Shurimpy: 60Hp [Normal][Apparently a Total Cutie]

-=Terrain=-

80% Normal
20% Metal [All playground equipment is metal if stood or climbed on]

-=Battle 4, Victory!=-

Spoils: 950z, Plasma1, 33 BugFrags

Quote (Plasma1)

Effect: Adds +20 Elec and Impacting to Buster Shot Attack
Accuracy: Buster Accuracy = B
Description: Allows the user to strike with electrically charged punches from buster.
Duration: 6 Uses.
Element: Elec
Special: Overrides Buster. Disables Charged Shot.


Beneath her borrowed mask, Shuri smiled slightly as the Octon responded in the affirmative. She wasn't big on deleting targets that, to her knowledge, had done nothing wrong. Not that she never did that, but...well, she rarely felt good after it. "Excellent. I'll get the link up." Let's see, bring up the site address, then form a temporary link to the page, and modify it to allow viruses to utilize it...and there. A warp space formed in front of the Navi, that'd take them straight to the zoo's processing area. "Just step on that, and you'll head straight there. ...Shurimpy, can you go gather the remnant data of the other viruses? I need to remain here to maintain the link."

The maskless SP gave his Navi a salute, and stuck out his claws, and brought in the various goodies. He was slower at it than Shuri, but it still didn't take overly long. Two neat crystals formed next to his master, while a cluster of oddly shaped blue...things was hastily absorbed into the crustacean's body. It was then that he noticed some air hitting him, coming straight from an Octon. It was waving with multiple limbs, so he did the same, and waved both claws. He even did a backflip as he did so, though considering he already floated, it didn't exactly come across as a feat of athleticism.

While she couldn't move, the ninja Navi was still able to send over the data her SP had collected. "Incoming data, Naomi. There was chip data in there...seemed to have EleBall's data signature. I'm not entirely sure what that would be, though..."

"Well, let's take a look! Money, good...the chip's called Plasma. It modifies your buster so that you can throw electrical punches for a while."

"That'd be great if I ever used my buster...but let's face it, I don't. I'm sure if we looked hard enough someone would trade for it, though. Not the worst thing in the world."

(Awaiting Octon to take the next step into a magic world of comfort and all the cold showers they could ever ask for)
The Octon weren't the quickest-moving viruses in the world, but slowly things progressed. One finished its climb down and made its way over to the opened link, happily ambling through. The other clambered off the slide and headed in that direction too, but it went by way of Shuri's SP, reaching out with two limbs to try and take him by one claw so it could make soft-sounding viral chatter and attempt to lead the SP away through the portal with it. While it was trying to organise this elopement, there was another distant 'Pop', and shortly after, another freezing cold torrent of water crashing down over the three of them. The Virus and the Sp probably enjoyed this. Shuri... probably less so.
Shurimpy seemed a bit surprised as he was grabbed and pulled by his new Octon friend. It really didn't matter, though; the link was designed for viruses, and despite the resemblance, he technically was not one. So even if it dragged him over, he wouldn't be transferred. But not wanting that to be how they split up, he gently removed his claw from the tentacles, then made motions at himself and hit, followed by him acting as though he was holding something in his arms, and acted as though he was making out with them. He then looked sad, and shook his head. This was followed by more motioning at each of them, then shaking his claw with the other. Then he happily raised both in the air.

Shuri watched all this go down with a raised eyebrow and her hands on her hips. She wasn't entirely sure how to process a virus getting friend zoned by her own SP. And because that clearly wasn't enough for her, a second shower poured down for additional wetness and chilliness. "...Cold."

"I feel like you could sit in a pool for hours and still not be as wet as you are now..."

"...Yeah. At least a pool would be warm. Right now my nipples feel like they could cut glass." For the heck of it, she looked down. At this point, her upper two strips were entirely failing at their job of providing modesty, as everything they covered were now definitely becoming visible underneath. Even the lower one was starting to succumb a bit to two storms worth of water. "You'd better hope I don't find a Navi that I find hot, Naomi, because I'm going to be THIS close to jumping their bones."

"That's it, I'm refreshing your clothes right now, so this stops!" A button was pressed, and the Navi's outfit was altered...in that her usual ninja mask reappeared. Nothing else changed. "...Huh? That's not what should happen...lemme see..."

"I don't think it'd even matter at this point, so don't waste your strength." She removed Shurimpy's mask, now that she had her own back, and tossed it over to him. He happily put it on, then sought to collect his promised reward by floating over in front of his Navi. Not forgetting what had been offered, she embraced him, making a few squishy noises as her wet but happy SP came in contact with her equally wet but agitated bosom. "So, Octon, still want to go through? It's okay if you don't, but I think it'd be better if you did. You'd probably be more likely to see Shurimpy again, for starters."
It couldn't end like this! Surely not! It was too soon! Too soon!! The Octon didn't seem to want to accept Shurimpy's tactful turn-down at first; they could be so right for each other! They could make it work! They could!! It tried to reason with him, in the form of small chitters and reaching tentacles, but the SP seemed quite adamant that it simply wasn't meant to be. The virus seemed dejected once it couldn't sway him, hanging its head down as its reaching and holding tentacles went limp, but it perked up again when Shuri promised... she totally promised, right? At least, that was how the Octon heard it... Promised that they could at least try the long distance thing, and that Shurimpy would come and visit, so long as he knew where to find it... at the zoo. That was good enough for it. It nodded then, still waving and blowing hopeful kisses towards the SP with a pair of tentacles, rode the link through to safety.

With that taken care, the brave SP and his slightly soggy ninja sidekick were on their own again. Where to next?
Once the other Octon was all the way through, Shuri cut off the link, as her SP tilted his head quizically at where the warp had been. He didn't ponder what just happened for long, though, as he shook his head and resumed enjoying the contact with his master.

"Well, we kept the playground from taking more damage, and helped out a couple of viruses that meant no harm. I call that a win."

"Me too! Oh, Shuri? I...I want to apologize for what I did. I know you have your thing about your mask, and...well, I took it anyway out of pettiness. And petty and justice don't coexist. For that, I'm truly sorry."

"Don't worry about it too much. We'll just chalk it up as more practice for me not wearing it. ...Speaking of wearing." The ninja looked down at the sides of her outfit, which looked like it was glued to her body. "It won't do much for my raging libido right now, but if you want to refresh me and give me some dry clothes, I wouldn't object."

"I would, but...it's weird. I've tried and tried, but it won't refresh anything but your mask right now. It's gotta be a glitch in the system...I'm no expert on PET software, but I think - THINK - if you jack out, it'll fix itself."

"Ah, there's the rub." She started walking along, coincidentally trying to ignore parts of her clothing rubbing on her. "You've still got business, and there won't be time if I leave now, even if I ignore every battle. So you can either be delinquent, or I can run through ElecTown like this for a bit. It's your call."

There was a moment of silence, as the operator genuinely strugged with the question. "I...say that you should keep going. The reason we're in this situation is because I had you stop so many times. I'll take responsibility for it, by allowing you to move on. Even though you look more like you're a ninja fetish porn actress than a true ninja right now."

"If I wasn't in a hurry, I could spend all day mocking that...but I am, so I'll leave it at that." Shuri picked up the pace, and proceeded onward. Air drying would be the best that she could do on making her more publically presentable. She tapped her SP on his shoulder, causing him to float away, and lightening her load to let her go even faster. "Just give me directions like you have been."

"It's mostly a straight shot at this point, though there's one more right turn. I'll tell you when."

"Understood."

"I just hope there aren't any more...distractions."

"You don't need to worry about a thing. There'll be one more before all's said and done."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Ninja sense, woman's intuition, experience...pick a reason."

(Searching for Battle #5)
Alas for Naomi's rental payments, Shuri's ninja senses weren't wrong. The slightly soggy navi continued on more or less unmolested, but when the last turning came up, the street she was in greeted the purple ninja with quite a scene. The first thing to notice, even before she rounded the corner, was the music; it was strange and folksy, rhythmic and hypnotic, but in a fun kind of way. It was the kind of music that might set your foot tapping unconsciously, or lead one to sway gently without thinking about it. Up ahead was not just one cacty... or maybe it was... It looked like a whole line of them, all pressed up together, jigging and swaying to the music in a long line that snaked back and forth through the street. Each cactus body was about five segments high, rather than the normal three, and this gave them room for a couple of different bends as they wriggled and danced together.

If Shuri looked closely, she might see that the 'heads' on most of the cacti in line were actually fake; just a slightly different looking body segment. The virus as a whole, as it surely must have been, only had one 'proper' head, which had wide, dizzy eyes, an uncharacteristically manic grin, and a truly fabulous party hat, complete with streamer tails, side ear-muffs, and even a pair of sparklers sticking jauntily up from the sides. While it spent most of the time on the 'leading' cactus body, it sometimes jumped around, switching places with other false head segments on the other bodies in the train.

The party hat wasn't the only piece of festive gear the virus seemed to be wearing; Each cactus body had a selection of bells attached to the lowest segment, which all jingled at regular rhythmic times with the rest of the music. about halfway up, they each bore a pair of long cloth kerchief, seemingly held on by virtue of being pinned through a spike on each side of the cactus, and these also danced and swished in time with the swaying movement of the cactus line. The air felt vaguely thick and a little cloying as she got closer; the faint hint of a pleasant perfume, mixed with warmth and moisture in the air. The main head bounced back to switch places with a body somewhere in the middle and turned its crazy-eyes grin towards Shuri, head tilting back and forth with the music as though inviting her to come dance with it. The more perceptive ninjas in the audience might also notice, just on the side, that amidst its weaving and turning and shuffling, the virus was completely obscuring the entire roadway and preventing any traffic, or rent-paying ninjas, from getting through.

-=Moves to the Beat=-

CactoCongo.Worm: 500Hp [Dancing!][1-Hit Fabulous Party Hat (Worn on Head)]

-=Light On Her Feet=-

Shuri: 150Hp [Normal][Probably Still Wet]
Shurimpy: 60Hp [Normal][Cephalopod Heart-Breaker]

-=Well Blocked-up Street=-

All Terrain is Normal, but the street is fairly narrow.

-=Battle 5, Start!=-
"The turn's just ahead, so get ready!"

Shuri was still dashing along, with her floating SP managing to keep up solely due to said floating. There was something odd, though. She could hear some kind of music up ahead...she had no idea what kind, but it certainly wasn't her type. "...I think I can hear the distraction from here. The turn's the next right, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. How'd you know?"

"I'm too good at this, is how." By the time she turned and saw the mass of cactus before her, the ninja was already slowing down, just knowing that there was something around the bend. And...there it was. "Sigh...being right isn't always fulfilling."

"What IS that thing?"

"I dunno how well a scan will answer that, but let's see..." Open up scan program, start. "It's called CactoCongo, and it appears to be a worm of some sort."

"Um, is that a worm? It looks more like a bunch of Cactikill to me..."

"...Computer worm. Over time, it'll get bigger, to clog up the local network, which separates it from being a simple virus. As you can see, it's already clogging up the street. I don't see it stopping, and it's blocking traffic, so fighting it's the quickest and best bet to getting by it."

"You're the expert...though it's kinda sad we can't just put it somewhere else..."

"You wanna be a delinquent or not?"

"No, but-"

"Then fighting it is. Honestly, you should just be glad it wasn't a Navi doing this, or else I'd be violating who knows how many Net decency laws right now."

"...Yeah, just...keep it in your pants a little longer, okay?"

"That's the goal." While still a bit damp, Shuri's outfit was definitely drier than before, which aided in said goal. Tthe damage had been metaphorically done, though, so it was only a matter of time until she got around to relieving her tensions. To help speed things up so she could get around to that, instead of asking for a chip, she simply generated a shuriken in her hand, more of a typical size than the giant one on her back. She then flung it forward, to smack the hat off of her latest foe. It was purely based on the scanner's findings; if the hat was specifically mentioned in its readings, there had to be some significance to it. She intended to find out what it was. "Shurimpy, I know it won't be easy in a place like this, but for now, stay out of this. But depending on how this goes, I may actually need you here. Understand?" The invertebrate ninja saluted his master, and prepared to get out of the way of...how would it even attack? Maybe like a Cactikill? Maybe it'd run up and trample over them? Maybe it'd send several heads down to repeatedly smack them? It wasn't lacking for possibilities, but he seemed undeterred. Admittedly, that might've been because of his ninja mask.

"Now, Cactikill's Wood elemental...if this is based off of it, then odds are it's Wood elemental, as well. Which would make Fire logical. But I'd rather keep my distance for now...so, ranged fire, Naomi. Chop chop."

Ranged fire? She was so used to sending FireKnife that she didn't even recall if they had one with distance...fortunately, a quick shuffle through the folder revealed a couple of options. And one of them meant she wouldn't have to worry about sending another one, so..."One ranged Fire element chip, coming right up! BattleChip, FireHit! Slot in!"

As the ninja clenched her hands into fists, the effects of the chip began to apply, causing them to be set ablaze, and helping prevent her hands from being made even more pruny. Of course, unlike a lot of similar chips, FireHit didn't require that she move in on an unknown foe, and so she simply punched the air in front of her. While her fist stopped as it normally would, the flames did not, manifesting itself as a fireball in the shape of her hand, and shot forward to try and slug the cactus worm. It also had another handy trait, which was promptly displayed as she repeated the process with her other arm, resulting in another fiery fist being launched in the name of damage.

Because she had no concrete idea on how to attack, she was half-tempted to try her hand at a BattleChip aided defense...but at the end of the day, not knowing was no excuse for a skilled ninja. She prepared herself, waiting for the inevitable attempt...

[Order of Turn:
1-Shuri Buster buster attack on CactoCongo Hat (10, Slashing)
2-FireHit1 chip attack on CactoCongo (60, Fire, A, Impact)
3-FireHit1 chip attack on CactoCongo (60, Fire, A, Impact)
4-Dodge]

[Order of Shurimpy's Turn:
1-Dodge]
By way of greeting the strangely manic party worm, Shuri deftly knocked its hat off. This seemed to get its attention, but the first thing the virus did in response was sway a little more, and cause a brand new party hat to reform on its head. This one had six sparklers on it, and a couple of colourful streamers too, as if to spite the ninja.

It was still watching her as it shuffled along happily, head bouncing from body to body to keep an eye on her as it did and a strange, cloyingly scented pollen began to fill the air, settling over Shuri herself quickly. It began to work its way into all of her senses, scrambling and disorienting slightly, though chances were the full potency of the effect would take a moment or two to take hold fully. For now, the purple wonder retaliated with a far more potent long-range greeting, easily scouring the hat clean off the party virus a second time and making its manic grin drop to an unhappy frown for a moment. Shuri wasn't waiting around, with a second fist scorching after the first swiftly but as it did, the virus glared at it, and its eyes... swirled. The rocking of its head was vaguely hypnotic, right up to the point that the flaming fist crashed into its body with force. If she keep an eye on the virus' vitals, though, Shuri would notice that while it dealt more damage that the face value of the chip, it did less than she might have hoped for (-80).

The cactus-train shook itself off with a wriggle to the beat, and wormed its way on. Somewhere in the back a new cactus body grew out of the old, and the worm got a little longer (+30). A ripple passed up and down the length of the virus, curving and swelling upwards though its body in a strong series of bold twists and turns as it danced its way further up the alley and closer to Shuri. The head was still bouncing around the different segments watching her, and it's wild grin was back, unperturbed by the burns it had taken.


-=Moves to the Beat=-

CactoCongo.Worm: 450Hp [Such Dancing!][Fabulous Party Hat: Broken!][Strengthen 20]

-=Light On Her Feet=-

Shuri: 150Hp [Normal][Confused!]
Shurimpy: 60Hp [Normal]

-=Well Blocked-up Street=-

All Terrain is Normal, but the street is fairly narrow.

Almost as soon as the second fist was flung, Shuri dropped down onto her knees, succumbing to the bizarre effects of the pollen. Sadly, her ninja mask offered little protection against airborne allergens. "Urgh...can't...see straight..." Nothing looked solid, and everything looked like it was moving, even things that weren't already dancing. "What? What'd you say? ...Naomi, you there?"

"Of course, Shuri! You don't look very well...are you all right?"

"...How DARE you blame me for that! And I never told you about that, to begin with...how did you even find out?! Huh?!" She struggled her feet, looking extremely wobbly even as she stood. "Answer me!!!"

"Um, what...? I think she's lost it..." The paralegal had a look at her Navi's status screen. "Confusion? Ah, I see...it's screwing up her sensory input. So, er...Shurimpy?" Ugh, that name almost hurt to say...at least a Shrimpy in a ninja get up was pretty cute. "I don't think I can give you anything unless it's through Shuri, and right now I don't know what she'd do if I tried that...she might try to hurt you, thinking you're someone or something else..."

As if on cue, the ninja turned, noticing her partner in ninjitsu. "...A Shrimpy Omega? Here?! Just perfect...but I don't need Naomi's help! I don't need ANYONE'S help!" Fortunately, for the moment, she was content to take a cautious approach, ready to avoid anything and everything that they tried. She'd get them in the end, though. That she was sure of.

"I really hope that wears off soon...I think it will, though. So, you'll need to try distracting the cactus worm...thing, Shurimpy."

The crustacean SP turned to a window behind Shuri, conveniently altered so that it was facing him, and saluted. He refused to let his Navi down...not when she needed him like this, and even though she didn't actually know she needed him right now. It vigorously waved at the CactoCongo with both arms, seeking its attention. Once it seemed like he'd gotten it, he turned around, and flippantly waved its tail fin at it, trying to lure it into focusing on him for a bit. At no point did he lose visual contact with it, though; he wanted it to attack him, but he wasn't going to give it a free hit, by any means. Unless it was the difference between hitting him and hitting Shuri...then it was no contest as to who got smacked, and it wasn't the currently mentally compromised one.

[Order of Turn:
1-Dodge
2-Dodge
3-Dodge
4-Dodge

Shurimpy Order of Turn:
1-Taunt and Dodge]
With her perception clouded by the confusing and disorienting pollen, Shuri was not in the best state to fight actively, so it was probably a wise idea for her operator to keep the move heavy duty chips out of her hands just for now. Curving and swaying up the street ever closer to the purple ninja, however, the party worm continued to dance hypnotically, revelling in its mad grin and colourful eyes. The head segment bounced in place as it rocked back and forth, and the fabulous party hat was back once again, now with even more sparklers and streamers than before.

Initially it was still focused entirely on Shuri as it curved its way closer to her eagerly. Another ripple passed through the dancing sea of cactus and a ripple of multi-coloured sparkles drifted through the air in a cloud. If Shurimpy was paying close attention, he might notice that the magic pixie dust, or whatever it was, was focused on Shuri still, fogging around her and settling before it began to fade. It didn't seem like an attack, exactly, and it hadn't hurt her... but it would be difficult for either Shurimpy, or Naomi to really tell what it was doing.

For her part, Shuri would find that as her vision gradually cleared from the intoxicating pollen effect, what it was clearing into was something entirely different... There wasn't really some big scary worm virus after all... it was a party, probably a costume joke or something. Now that she looked clearly, she could see that, yes, it was actually a line of conga dancers just having a good time. None of them were wearing much at all, either... just party hats, and a few scraps of cloths or beads... and some of them looked very, very... enticing. As the line danced and partied, one of the males in the line; handsome, toned and scantily clad, looked in her direction then extended a hand, inviting the ninja girl to come and join the party line with a broad grin. Shuri would be able to feel the draw of it, her feet carrying her closer to the dancing line of their own accord.

If Naomi could get an idea of what Shuri was seeing about then, she might realise that letting her navi join what she was perceiving as a conga line of dancers, was probably a very, VERY bad idea. The worm virus, however, was grinning away as it threaded nearer, eyes swirling in bright, colourful vortexes as it watched the navi it was aiming for, until a distraction to the side grabbed its attention momentarily. Shurimpy was doing his best to get some love too, it seemed, and the virus was happy to oblige... in a manner of speaking. The head segment bounced over to a section near the small crustacean, then spun about in place rapidly, party whistles blowing joyously. Several sections of cactus barrelled off the body it was perched on top of, all aiming at the little SP in a swift volley. Shurimpy was ready, dodging the first projectile, while the second one whizzed passed him, missing by a hair. The third connected with a solid thump and an impressive sting, however (-20). Sting of the cactus aside, The strike left a lingering sense of being scrambled as glitchy code worked its way into the SP. His stylish purple ninja mask went a spectacular rainbow of tie-dye instead, and worse (maybe?), one claw found itself occupied with a festive tambourine. Any attempt the SP made to drop or damage the thing would only result in further shaking of the instrument.

That seemed to be the level of chastisement that the virus was interested in offering for now, because it quickly turned its attention back to Shuri, head rocking energetically to its own music while it danced, and the line of cacti bodies grew (+30).

-=Moves to the Beat=-

CactoCongo.Worm: 480Hp [Come Dance!!][1-Hit Fabulous Party Hat, Now With Extra Sparklers!]

-=Light On Her Feet=-

Shuri: 150Hp [Affected by Hallucinating Illusion: Come Join The Conga!][Debuff: Weaken 40][Melee range to CatcoCongo]
Shurimpy: 40Hp [Glitch: Hand Lock, plus cosmetic effects]

-=Well Blocked-up Street=-

All Terrain is Normal, but the street is fairly narrow.

Effects:

Hand Lock: Targets with this glitch can only use one 'hand' slot. This also prevents the use of chips requiring both hands. Lasts until cured or battle ends.

"Ugh, my head..." Fortunately, as she was afffected by the second pollen type, Shuri seemed to be recovering from the first. She shook her head, and managed to properly stand and face her...opponent? That wasn't an enemy at all, but a line of a bunch of people she wouldn't mind getting to know a little better. She was a bit suspicious, however, at the fact there wasn't a massive computer worm around all of a sudden. And yet, she felt compelled to at least draw near.

"Shuri, don't!" Naomi honestly wasn't sure if her Navi could hear her, but she had to try. She just couldn't stand around and do nothing.

"...Let me guess. I'm hallucinating, because right now I'm looking at what is, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful men I've ever laid eyes on."

"...Entirely possible! That pollen's doing things to you..." At least it seemed like Shuri could properly hear what she was saying. That was good.

The ninja, while believing what was being said, turned her SP, due to not especially wanting to believe it. Shurimpy vigorously shook his head, seeing the reality that was a giant cactus virus...and having the bump and funkadelic ninja mask to prove it. "...I was afraid of that. By the way, Shurimpy? That tie-dye look does NOT suit you."

"Good, you're back with us! After that outburst earlier, I was worried-"

"Outburst? ...You mean I actually said those things?"

"You did...but I think we should put it on the backburner for now."

"You're right. I'm close, and it's definitely Fire weak...I want FireKnife. Now."

"Er, if you say so."

"Shurimpy. Do me a favor, and knock the hat off. I can't actually see it, but I'm sure it's there. ...It IS there, right?"

"It is. Here's your chip request!" Honestly, she was a little nervous about her Navi being so close to...well, THAT, but considering her Navi was the expert..."BattleChip, FireKnife! Slot in!"

Shuri's right hand ceased to be empty, as it found itself holding a flaming kunai. She pointed it at about where she estimated the party hat to be, and turned to her SP again. "Go ahead, strike. ...And is that a tambourine on your claw?" Shurimpy looked down, and sure enough, there was a musical instrument in it. He vigorously shook it, to try and get rid of it, but all that was accomplished was some off-rhythm noise. On the bright side, he didn't need his claws to attack, which he showed by closing his eyes, and focusing on empty space. A large bubble formed in front of him, which he then whacked with his tail, sending it into the ground, but instead of bursting like most bubbles would, it bounced high into the air, in an attempt to land right atop the worm's head, and knock off the party hat. Regardless of whether it hit its mark or not, it'd explode in a bubbly explosion, that'd even manage to keep going straight and hit something else. Fortunately, he was pretty sure his Navi was out of that particular danger.

But at this point, she didn't overly care. She was getting sick of this thing messing with her head, and it was time to give it a painful lesson on why that was a very, very bad idea to try to pull on her. While all she could see was a party, at this point it was only making her mad, a reminder that what she was seeing wasn't reality, even though she wished it was. She swung her weapon, with enough force to disembowel a particularly anatomically correctly programmed Navi from one slash alone. Granted, the heat of the weapon would probably immediately cauterize it...but even if the illusion reacted accordingly, it wouldn't affect an ounce of her resolve. She'd just keep on cutting up partygoers, not caring if she cut them in half, or stabbed them in the crotch, or whatever. She wanted the cactus worm dead, and she wanted it dead quickly. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Order of Turn:
1-FireKnife chip attack on CactoCongo (60, Fire, B, Slashing)
2-FireKnife chip attack on CactoCongo (60, Fire, B, Slashing)
3-FireKnife chip attack on CactoCongo (60, Fire, B, Slashing)
4-FireKnife chip attack on CactoCongo (60, Fire, B, Slashing)

Shurimpy Order of Turn:
1-Attack on CactoCongo (15, Aqua, Spread 1)]
While Shuri shook off her confusion and reluctantly identified the worm's illusion, the dancers she could see all reached out towards her together, friendly smiles pleading and hands beseeching her to just let go, and relax. Much as she might have liked to, Shuri wasn't having a bar of it, which was good news for her continued life as an independent ninja, however the reaching of the crowd seeped out to her as well.. it was just so tempting, wasn't it? Even knowing that it wasn't real, the purple wonder would feel her movements being just a little lingering, especially when it came to avoiding her 'opponent'.

Fortunately, for the time being, avoiding wasn't what she planned. Shurimpy led off with a high-arcing bubble that neatly doffed the worm's fantastic hat once again. The head turned slightly to cast a leery eye at the little SP, but its attention seemed mostly fixed on trying to lure Shuri still. From her own perspective, Shuri struck out at her illusory suitor and cut him deep (-80). The illusion wavered, and the male dancer, still with his hands outstretched towards her, looked a bit sad and crestfallen at her rejection... not really hurt or disembowelled, but quite disappointed. The imaginary dancers began to fade, though, and soon the ninja would begin to see the ghosting image of her actual target transposed throughout the conga line.

What she could see of the dancing cactus rippled and swayed amongst the tattered remnants of its illusion, and for a moment the ninja couldn't help but catch sight of the head's brightly swirling eyes as its peculiarly colourful gaze sapped her strength again. Her next swing came without hesitation, though, tearing through what was left of the illusion and slicing harshly into vulnerable cactus flesh as well (-100). This time she got a more encouraging reaction, and the virus cried out in a garbled sound of pain, drawing in on itself in a tight circle as its outer flesh grew tougher and more resilient in response. When the head popped up again it glared at Shuri, kaleidoscopic eyes spinning quickly, and for a moment it seemed as though its irrepressible party grin might falter. No luck, unfortunately, as Shuri's next attack went wide, passing between the body segments and the head as it bounced away from her, once more rocking to it's own music. When it landed on a new body, it bounced high and brought out yet another spectacular party hat. Even more sparklers had been added now, and there were even a couple of rapidly spinning pin-wheels too.

Continuing the game of hat-no-hat, Shuri was just as quick to attack again and strip the ridiculous headwear from the virus, but for now it turned the other cheek and continued on jigging and swaying to its party beat as if to spite her.


-=Moves to the Beat=-

CactoCongo.Worm: 300Hp [Come Dance!!][1-Hit Fabulous Party Hat, Now With Extra Sparklers and Pin-Wheels!: Broken!][Strengthen: 20][DR: 12 (2 turns)]

-=Light On Her Feet=-

Shuri: 150Hp [Melee range to CatcoCongo][Slowed! (2 turns)]
Shurimpy: 40Hp [Glitch: Hand Lock, plus cosmetic effects]

-=Well Blocked-up Street=-

All Terrain is Normal, but the street is fairly narrow.

Effects:

Hand Lock: Targets with this glitch can only use one 'hand' slot. This also prevents the use of chips requiring both hands. Lasts until cured or battle ends.