Unclever Topic Title

After arriving in ElecTown without incident, Shuri raced forward, having no time to take things nice and slow. She had an assignment, and she needed to complete it. Sure, it was the mundane emergency of bill payment, but they couldn't all be glamourous. And at her side, her faithful crustacean companion floated. Now that he could properly float around, he could keep up, even as she ran at top speed. Which was good, since the last thing she needed was to be slowed down...though, given how the Net worked, something would happen anyway. It always did.

(Searching for Battle #1)
You're trying to get into town to pay your rent, because you forgot and now you're going to be late, and what do you find? Road-works. Every Time. Apparently, today was no different as Shuri made her way quickly through the streets of electown.

Of course, this was less of an issue for Shuri, being a pedestrian and all, but even so, most of the pathway ahead was cordoned off with yellow safety tape, and a pair of self-motivated jack-hammers were angrily driving away at the path beneath them. Mostly they just seemed to be making a hole, rather than doing anything constructive. Around about them, a Powie jumped and bounced, making a mock of helping, though it really wasn't. The jack-hammers bore little scowling faces, hands gripping their own handles as they worked, and ignored it for the most part.

What they didn't ignore, unfortunately, was the ninja that was approaching them at high speed, stopping their hammering to face her. It was hard to tell with their scowly faces, but their moods didn't seem improved.

-=Probably Not Official Council Workers=-

PogoJackA: 80hp
PogoJackB: 80Hp
Powie: 60hp

-=Rent Couriers=-

Shuri.Exe: 150Hp
Shurimpy.SP: 60Hp

-=Terrain=-

All normal, for now.

-=Battle 1, Start!=-
Something. Always. Happened. Yep. Shuri let out an exasperated sigh, but didn't so much as slow down as she approached the viruses. She didn't have time for this, but knowing Naomi, she'd make her stop and help in spite of the time limit. At least this wouldn't take very long. "Naomi. WideBlade."

"Hmm? Oh, I see. Just slice 'em before they can blink!"

"NOW." How was it she was acting more like this was an emergency than the person this actually WAS an emergency for?

"Sorry! Good thing the chips are right here..." Now she just needed her fancy colored WideSword...there. "BattleChip, WideBlade! Slot in!"

The shuriken on the ninja Navi's back suddenly began to give off an unnatural gold aura. She removed it from her back, nearing the viruses...and began to rapidly spin as she went by them, to try and dice them like vegetables in a food processor. ...It was a very simple procedure, really. Once she was out of sword range, she stopped in a perfect three point stance, her signature weapon returned to its usual place. She looked back, to see if she got them all. If she did, great, she could grab her stuff and keep going without even a lost step. If not...well, she'd be officially irritated at the survivors.

As for her SP, he knew enough to go wide when the giant ninja star was imbued with powerful sword chip data. Other than that, he kept the same speed as his Navi, though unlike her, he was ready to avoid jackhammers and ten ton weights at a moment's notice.

[Order of Turn:
1-WideBlade chip attack on PogoJackA, PogoJackB, and Powie (110, B, Slashing, Wide Attack)
2-WideBlade chip attack on PogoJackA, PogoJackB, and Powie (110, B, Slashing, Wide Attack)
---TURN SPLICE---

[Order of SP Turn:
1-Dodge]
The problem with Ninjas, as these impostor road-workers discovered, was that they often have a tendency to move very quickly, attack first, and usually ask very few question. such was the case today: Shuri had somewhere to be, and these viruses were in the way of that. It made matters very simple for her, and very... short, for them.

The Powie happened to be down when she struck, not missing a stride, and one of the PogoJacks did try to jump up with the goal to attack her, The third seemed a tad more hesitant and turned as though it meant to bounce out of the running ninja's way. All of these actions amounted to nothing, however, as her twin wideblade strike sliced through them. One might almost have expected a shower of purple flower petals to blow by in a fortuitous breeze as all three viruses seemed to freeze in place for a stolen moment, before, as one, they each began to disintegrate.

-=Battle? What battle!? Victory!=-

Spoils: 260z, PileDriver1, 11 BugFrags

Quote (PileDriver1)

Damage: 40 x 2 Melee Attack + Impact + Break + Knockback
Accuracy: B
Description: The Navi summons a rapidly pumping jackhammer that occupies one of their appendages. Bearing down on an immobile target will deal greater damage.
Duration: Once
Element: Null
Special: If the first hit connects with Knockback and the second hit also connects, the second hit deals double damage.
As expected, the anti-construction viruses were no match for her skill and large razor sharp weaponry. Shuri waved her arm at their remnants, enriching her operator's cash total. Shurimpy did the same, adding some BugFrags to the haul. And that wasn't all... "There was a chip in there. It didn't seem familiar to me, though, so take a look at it, and see if it's good. If so, take something out of the folder so it'll fit in. I'll trust your judgement."

"Um, all right." ...PileDriver? Sounded a little loud, but it wasn't too bad, so Shuri could use it. And for what to go...that CactusBall sounded terrible, so out it went. Naomi made a mental note to not throw it out, though, since it WAS a gift. "Okay, done!"

Though she didn't respond directly, the ninja Navi went ahead and continued her mad dash. There was absolutely no point in loitering any longer than she had to. And a look to the side revealed her SP floating along side her. The ability to float was definitely helping him keep up with her...which was good, since if he didn't, she might've had to send him back. She couldn't afford any slowdown here. Which, of course, all but guaranteed that something else would block her path. Viruses were pains like that.

(Searching for Battle #2)
It was almost like thinking about all the things that might delay Shuri in her quest to pay the rent, summoned them to annoy her. At first the street seemed clear, but then, as if from nowhere, a raid siren began to sound overhead. A FighterPlane shot past barely a foot above the running ninja, then looped around in an arc that brought it in to attacking line with her. At the far end of the street, the road was blocked as a triangle-treaded tank rolled in from aside path, turning towards her as well. The tank commander popped up and shouted something unintelligible in viral chatter, gesturing down the street towards Shuri.

From above, a crack of electricity sounded, then another, followed by a short cackle. Up on the roofs of the low buildings a short way ahead, on either side of the street, two Twisties waited in sniping positions, their RemoteBits summoned and beginning to course out over the street below. The Catack began to trundle slowly down the street towards the ninja and her SP. Had someone really called the national guard on her?

-=The 48th Division=-

TwistyA: 80Hp [Normal][Left hand Rooftop, halfway down]
TwistyB: 80Hp [normal][Right hand Rooftop, halfway down]
FighterPlane: 140Hp [Flying][Start of attack run, far end]
Catack: 120Hp [Normal][Far end of street, ground level]

-=Ninjas on a mission=-

Shuri.Exe: 150Hp [normal][Near end of street, ground level]
Shurimpy.SP: 60Hp [normal][Near end of street, ground level]

-=Terrain=-

100% Normal

One main thoroughfare at ground level, with buildings forming raised rooftops that run the full length of the street on either side. Jumping as an action, or a well described Move, should be ample for a skilled ninja to move from one level to another.

-=Battle 2, Start!=-
Yep. She knew it. Shuri came to a screeching halt at the siren, and let out a sigh at how utterly predictable the Net could be if you were familiar with it. "This couldn't be more typical...I guess the decision's up to you, Naomi. Shall I break through, or should go ahead and destroy them all?"

The operator paused for a moment, weighing the two options. But in the end, there was only one choice she could make and feel good about. "It's no decision at all. A lot of those viruses can destroy Net ground, right? Then we have to stay and fight!"

"Well, then you're almost as predictable as these guys. Fine then, go ahead and send me...AntiDamage. That should be sufficient."

"Oh gee, the ninja wants the chip that lets her throw shuriken. Who's predictable now?"

"Are you going to argue about it and waste time, or are you going to send it?" In the meantime, she loathed wasting time, so she sized up the building's side. The windows gave her a decent amount of footholds...yeah, that'd work just fine. With all the agility and grace one would expect from a ninja, she hopped up from ledge to ledge, undoubtedly giving anyone looking out one of the windows quite the surprise. It wasn't too long before she swung up top, onto the roof. She'd stop and take pride in accomplishing a feat of athleticism not just any Navi could pull off, but, well, viruses to destroy and all that.

"Ack, hang on! I haven't sent the chip over yet! ...Okay! BattleChip, AntiDamage! Slot in!"

To anyone looking at her, absolutely nothing seemed to happen. But if the Catack or FighterPlane's shots managed to hit her...well, they'd hit 'her'. If, by her, one meant a crude looking doll of her that would show up and block the attack. And while her double was shot up, she could take the chance to throw several large shuriken at the one responsible. Deception and large pointy objects, all in one move. Was it any wonder it was her favorite chip?

But it wasn't without its flaws. For instance, the lightning bolts coming from those RemoteBits would completely ignore any attempts at protection by doll, and inflict both pain on her, and damage to the building. Neither of those would particularly please her operator, so she raced towards the nearby Twisty. With them out, the battle was more or less history, in her book. "...Ah, I know. Send over BambooKnife, if you will."

"Right! Although...eh, never mind. BattleChip, BambooKnife! Slot in!"

A wooden kunai appeared in Shuri's right hand, thankfully with a wrapped up handle to prevent splinters. As she was prone to do without even thinking, she twirled it around a couple of times, and rushed the mini-control tower virus. She quickly reared back as she neared it, and delivered what would hopefully be a single, yet lethal stab attack, right between the eyes. Though really, so long as it hit, she couldn't complain too much. So long as it stopped with the panel destroying thunderbolts.

As for its friend on the other side...well, she could stay there and use something more ranged. Or, she could probably jump across to that other building, thanks to her ninja build and skill. But where was the fun in that? Instead, she pointed her blade at the other Twisty, getting a bead on it. And, without hesitation...she threw her weapon at it. Across the street, and ideally become lodged in the virus. A shuriken wasn't the only weapon a ninja could throw, after all. In her hands, practically any weapon had distance. She just needed to hope her throwing accuracy was as good as her throwing power.

...Wait, wasn't she forgetting someth-oh, crap. "Shurimpy!"

Her SP was less than intimidated by his situation, though. He stared down the plane and tank, narrowing his eyes...but he wasn't quite at 'strike back' levels yet. For now, he should only observe and avoid enemy fire. That was what his Navi would want.

[Order of Turn:
1-Hop up to left rooftop (Movement)
2-AntiDamage chip on Shuri (100, B, Slashing, hits 3 times, negates and counters next non-elemental attack)
3-BambooKnife chip attack on TwistyA (60, Wood, B, Slashing)
4-Fling BambooKnife at TwistyB (60, Wood, B, Slashing)

Order of Shurimpy:
1-Dodge]
Responding with, albeit understandably, ninja-like speed, Shuri swiftly eschewed the ground level for higher locales. As she made her nimble ascent, one of the RemotBits passed over and struck down towards her with a harsh crack, but it had struck at where the ninja was, rather than where she was going, and thus hit only the ground she had passed. It did leave a very unfortunate pothole in the terrain, but in another moment, Shuri herself arrived in the Twisty's face and swiftly put paid to its destructive ways.

While she was busy climbing, however, the Catack continued its ponderous pace, taking a shot down the street with its cannon as it advanced. It might have had a moment fo confusion between whether to shoot for the swift-moving ninja, or her seemingly more vulnerable SP, and though it ultimately aimed at the latter, the shot itself missed, rending another section of the street dangerously cracked and unstable. In a more deliberate and focused effort, the twisty across the other side sent its Bit to position itself above the brave SP, but in the moments before it could launch the brutal blast of electricity, seemingly out of nowhere, the blade of a wooden knife embedded itself neatly between the virus' eyes, causing it to freeze, then begin disintegrating at a rapid pace, and leaving the RemoteBit to crash out of the air harmlessly. Fortunately, this final threat missed Shurimpy as well.

While this rapid exchange of attack and counter-attack was taking place, the FighterPlane pressed in its attack run, opening fire with a volley of shots from its machine guns as it closed in on Shuri, standing exposed on the rooftop after her impressive throw. At least, she looked exposed and open. As soon as the first shots seemed to strike the ninja, however, the trick was revealed, her image distorted to reveal the crude decoy for what it was, while the real Shuri, safely elsewhere, countered with a swift trio of her favourite weapon. Surprised and far too committed to its attack, there was little the FighterPlane could do to bank or weave, and the stars cleanly sliced both its wings clean off, leaving it to crash down in an explosion of junked data fragments.



-=The 48th Division=-

TwistyA: DELETED
TwistyB: DELETED
FighterPlane: DELETED
Catack: 120Hp [Normal][End of street (one movement), ground level]

-=Ninjas on a mission=-

Shuri.Exe: 150Hp [Normal][Left Rooftop, but not quite where it looked like she was]
Shurimpy.SP: 60Hp [Normal][Near end of street, ground level]

-=Terrain=-

75% Normal
5% Broken [One spot, Near End, Ground Level]
20% Cracked [Small Blast Circle, Near end, Ground Level]

One main thoroughfare at ground level, with buildings forming raised rooftops that run the full length of the street on either side. Jumping as an action, or a well described Move, should be ample for a skilled ninja to move from one level to another.
Sadly, Shuri's method of dispatching the viruses, while effective, failed to entirely stop the destruction of some of the street. There wasn't much she could do about it now, though, since if she didn't destroy the other virus quickly, it could compound the problem. And while in theory the area could recover by itself if the cracked spots became broken...wait, she could do more than theory. "Shurimpy! Turn off your floating ability, and try to stay over the cracked panels!" She didn't move while shouting her commands; the last thing she wanted was to draw the Catack's fire there. The crustacean, as it always did, happily adhered to its Navi's orders. He instantly dropped an inch or two closer to the ground, displaying that its ability to ignore most terrain was now officially not a thing for the moment. He the raced over to the area of not quite broken panels. If moving over them wasn't enough, possibly taking another hit from explosive cannon fire would definitely do the deed.

If nothing else, the ninja could take solace in the fact that her SP probably wasn't heavy enough to shatter the unstable panels, especially if he kept moving. And she could further reduce the odds with some speedy destruction. "All right, let's end this now. Preferably without any further damage to the street."

"Oh, I know just what'll do it!" If Naomi looked very closely, she'd be able to tell that her Navi tensed up ever so slightly at her confidence..."BattleChips, AreaGrab! WideBlade! Attack+10! Triple slot in!"

And if her operator looked closely enough, she would've also noticed that, after teleporting behind the virus, she was now completely loose again. Less subtle was that she now had a golden, glowing katana in her hands. With little hesitation, she sliced at the tank virus...and if anyone was paying attention, they'd have noticed that she actually performed two slashes, and not just one. One hit would reduce the Catack to junk data, for sure, but Shuri didn't mind making absolutely sure that any loose ends were tied up. And despite its heavy artillery, the virus was just that to her: a loose end that needed to go. Now she just needed to wait for the dust to clear and make sure she had, in fact, succeeded.

[Order of Turn:
1-AreaGrab chip to right behind Catack (S, Teleport, Accuracy Up)
2-WideBlade chip attack on Catack (110+10, B, Slashing, Wide Attack)
3-Attack+10 chip on WideBlade (S, raises all hits of connected attack by 10)
4-WideBlade chip attack on Catack (110+10, B, Slashing, Wide Attack)

Order of Shurimpy's Turn:
0-Turn FloatShoes OFF
1-Dodge; try to stay on the Cracked area]
There wasn't much left of the attacking viral forces, but Shuri wasn't taking any chances. Before the remaining tank could react at all, the ninja teleported, blinking behind it and swiftly making sliced junk out of it. The poor Catack probably wasn't even aware that the next round had started.

Meanwhile, Shurimpy set about his distinctly non-standard method of street-repair, scuttling over the patched of cracked panels, as each one promptly fell in behind him. The last panel collapsed prematurely, dropping the poor SP into a pit, but with the field clear and no viruses left to cause problems, he had ample time to clamber out again.


-=The 48th Division=-

TwistyA: DELETED
TwistyB: DELETED
FighterPlane: DELETED
Catack: DELETED

-=Ninjas on a mission=-

Shuri.Exe: 150Hp
Shurimpy.SP: 60Hp

-=Terrain=-

75% Normal
25% Broken [The blast circle has been collapsed... but will recover shortly.]

-=Battle 2, Victory!=-

Spoils: 500z, RemoteBit1, 21 BugFrags.

Quote (RemoteBit1)

HP: 100
Properties: Anchored
Object Damage: 100 + Impact
Damage Method: Telekinesis
Attack Damage: 80 + panel break + Drop Attack
Accuracy: B
Description: Summons a Control Tower in your area and a Remote Bit to rain down lightning upon the enemy.
Duration: 3 turns or Until destroyed
Element: Elec
Special: Drop Attack: This attack originates above the battlefield, and falls to the ground. It gains one rank of accuracy against High Altitude targets.
As the Catack faded from existence, so did Shuri's weaponry. "That was almost too easy...almost." She looked over at her SP, who had managed to move over every last cracked panel...but wasn't quite quick enough to get across the last one before it broke. "Shurimpy!" She quickly raced over to the newly formed hole, and peered in...fortunately, it didn't look all that deep. If nothing else, the SP was well enough to wave at her, which she returned. "...Quick scan shows no signs of damage. Phew. All right, climb up here, you."

The shrimp climbed up the wall with his claws. And even though a Shrimpy's pincers weren't designed for much use, if the SP was indication, they were still more than capable of laying some hurt. Once he neared the top, the ninja grabbed him by his cowl and pulled him to the surface. "Nice work. I think we need to work a little on your speed, though..."

"...How does that even work? He floats in the air. Come to think of it, how did it even trigger those cracked panels? Even without that ability acted, he still floats..."

"Don't think about the Net too hard, Naomi. It'll just hurt your head."

"I believe that..."

"Now that that's resolved, I believe I have some spoils to gather..." Navi and SP accessed the remnant data of the viruses, pulling their various rewards toward them. For Shuri, some cash, and some chip data she didn't overly care for. Though, it was still better than nothing. And for Shurimpy, he gained some otherwise junk data that'd help him grow. "Looks like that's everything. Shurimpy's done, too."

"Well, good. Now, can you PLEASE get a move on? We're on a time limit!"

"Of course." And with that, the pair of ninjas raced onward, toward their destination...

(Searching for Battle #3)
Moving right along, the more philosophical types might wonder whether there was some greater force at work in the net that was determined to stop the delivery of rent money, purple-armoured individuals, ninjas, or maybe some combination of these features. The particulars that might lead one so philosophically inclined to those particular musings were stationed at various points along the thoroughfare through which shuri was making her way.

The buildings had grown tall and imposing, soaring high overhead and making the main road feel a lot more like a dim alleyway, despite it being easily broad enough for two-way traffic. There were a variety of neon signs advertising a whole gamut of different things on the sides of the glass-panelled high-rises, but far more worrisome were the uncomfortable number of HardHead viruses dotted around.

One was perched on top of a protruding ventilation duct, about two shuri-lengths off the ground, another was closer to ground level, sitting on top of broad-topped safety rail on the other side of the road. A third and fourth seemed to have taken position on either end of top guard of one of the raised neon signs, while a fifth peered up at the ninja from an open manhole cover at street level.

The most fascinating question was how some of the heavy, immobile viruses had even gotten to where they were in the first place, but it was also a question that might need to wait. Just behind the stree-level HardHead, a single MagTect hovered, apparently surveying the placement of the other viruses. Maybe they were its handiwork? When it saw Shuri, however, it made a startled sound and pointed both pincers in her direction. All five of the HardHeads responded, turning their attention menacingly towards Shuri and her SP.

-=Ludicrously Placed Demolition Crew=-

HardeHeadA: 60Hp [On raised duct, left wall, near Shuri][Metal][Open]
HardeHeadB: 60Hp [On rail-top, about chest height, right footpath, halfway down][Normal][Open]
HardeHeadC: 60Hp [Near end of raised sign, right wall, far end of road][Metal][Open]
HardeHeadD: 60Hp [Far end of raised sign, right wall, far end of road][Metal][Open]
HardeHeadE: 60Hp [Middle of street, part way inside manhole opening, but still fully visible/targetable][Normal][Open]
MagTect: 90Hp [Middle of street, behind HardHeadE][Normal]

-=Probably going to be late...=-

Shuri.Exe: 150Hp
Shurimpy.SP: 60Hp

-=Terrain=-

65% Normal [The main thoroughfare]
25% Glass [Building walls either side are glass panelled]
10% Metal [A few purchasable vents and ducts, or sign protrusions attached to or sticking out from the walls]

-=Battle 3, Start!=-
By now, the sight of viruses impeding her path didn't even cause Shuri to bat an eye. She really had to wonder if they were all specifically programmed to get in a Navi's way when they were in a hurry...then again, in this case, HardHead weren't exactly mobile. So it was probably bad luck this time. Of course, she didn't have time to ponder the reason for it...only to remove them from her path. Preferably while causing minimal damage in the process, if her operator had anything to say about it.

"Oh no...HardHead! Rush or not, we have to stop them from destroying the area!"

...Called it. "Fine. We'll get started with-"

"Here, I bet you can take them all out at once with this! BattleChip, Boomerang! Slot in!"

The large shuriken on her back glowed green, which she removed and took a look at. Unfortunately, despite Naomi's supreme confidence, the ninja Navi was pretty sure that even she couldn't land six targets in such an offbeat pattern with one shot. Still, she could always still try and show off a bit...oh, what the hey. Success sped this up, and failure didn't really slow things much. She reared back, figured the angles she was going to need to pull off, and flung the giant throwing star forward. It didn't seem to have too much distance, though...though it was spinning faster than normal. If her attack struck true, it should slice that one HardHead on the side in two, but at an angle that would make it bounce high into the air. Then, still spinning, it should fall down right on that one atop the sign, and bounce off it and hit the one behind it. After that...it'd probably have lost all of its inertia, and fall down to the ground. But she had a plan for that. But she had to do it now, before it was too far in its flight path. "Naomi. DashAttack. Now."

"Huh? Um, sure!" Oh, where was it...ah, there. "BattleChip, DashAttack! Slot in!"

Right away, Shuri could feel a huge amount of energy build in her legs. In a rare moment, she wasn't going to deal with any sort of blade...she was getting even more up close and personal. And so, she got a running start, then jumped a bit and kicked...and as she held her position, she kept speeding forward, like some sort of comically bad kung fu movie. If her aim was true, she'd go right through the partially hidden HardHead, and the equally hidden (that was to say, not very) MagTect behind it. After that, she'd release her pose, come to a stop, and casually snatch her shuriken as it landed near her, and return it to its proper place on her back. "Well, that was different. But let's get back to basics. Kunai, if you will."

Kunai, Kunai...oh, right, technically it was the V2 version. Cool. "BattleChip, Kunai2! Slot in!"

The ninja Navi acquired four throwing knives in her hand, which she casually repositioned for optimal tossing. Rear back, aim carefully, and fling it at the one virus she hadn't targeted. For her, that was about as difficult as breathing, especially since she didn't even need all of them to land...though if they didn't, she'd probably get a nice blow to her personal pride. This wasn't a fancy trick shot like earlier, this was just a case of throwing a weapon or four and hitting the target.

...That should cover everything, so she should wait and see if anything was left when the smoke cleared. She'd need to prepare for evading if necessary...and so should her SP. She made a motion with her hand, using two fingers to act like moving legs. The crustacean nodded, and prepared to do the same. ...The dodging part, that was. It didn't even have fingers to try and make that motion. It'd just look silly trying.

[Order of Turn:
1-Boomerang1 chip attack on HardHeadB, HardHeadC, and HardHeadD (60, Wood, B, Arc Attack, Group Attack)
2-DashAttack1 chip attack on HardHeadE and MagTect (90, C, Impact, Line Attack(5), Movement)
3-Kunai2 chip attack on HardHeadA (30, B, Slashing, hits 4 times)
4-Dodge]

[Order of Shurimpy's Turn:
1-Dodge]
Despite the MagTect's battle signal, the HardHeads each began to do what came most naturally to them, and one by one began to clank their solid guards shut. Shuri reacted quickly, however, loosing her shuriken-turned-boomerang before more than a couple of the heavy viruses could close their mouths. The shot was almost perfect; her first target suffered a not-quite-near-enough brush with deletion as the weapon whizzed by, and promptly got its mouth closed afterwards, but the two at the back, on the raised sign, weren't so lucky, each sliced cleanly in two before they could react.

Down the way, the MagTect sent out a magnetic pull to grapple the hurried ninja, and lo, did she come hurtling towards it at great speed. Sadly for the virus, and fortunately for Shuri, this approach wasn't quite in the manner it was hoping. Rather, the purple wonder blitzed clean through the ground-bound HardHead and slammed the magnet virus far harder than it had thought to slam her, before neatly catching the retuning Shuriken once she stopped.

Attempting to finish up the affair with a quick flurry of gardening tools, Shuri's accuracy was dead on but the only targets remaining to her were firmly closed, rewarding her with the less than rewarding sound of four rapid-fire 'tink' sounds against hardened metal.


-=Ludicrously Placed Demolition Crew=-

HardHeadA: 60Hp [On raised duct, left wall][Metal][Guard]
HardHeadB: 60Hp [On rail-top, about chest height, right footpath, halfway down][Normal][Guard]
HardHeadC: DELETED
HardHeadD: DELETED
HardHeadE: DELETED
MagTect: DELETED

-=Probably going to be late...=-

Shuri.Exe: 150Hp [Normal]
Shurimpy.SP: 60Hp [Normal]

-=Terrain=-

65% Normal [The main thoroughfare]
25% Glass [Building walls either side are glass panelled]
10% Metal [A few purchasable vents and ducts, or sign protrusions attached to or sticking out from the walls]
Well, crap. Her shuriken accuracy wasn't 100% (even though most would be proud of getting 2 out of 3 with that kind of shot, especially when they managed to fly past other enemies and catch their weapon before it even hit the ground), and the other managed to put up its guard before her knives reached it. Still, she got most of them. ...She also had an idea, though she doubted Naomi would even consider it, much less agree to it. "Crazy idea. We're short on time, and the viruses aren't actually blocking my progress. I can just run on ahead, no worse for wear, and-"

"Absolutely not! HardHead breaks stuff; that's what it does! If we leave even one there, the damage to the area could be horrific!"

"Of course not...running would actually make sense. But no, we have to play hero, even when it's a major pain in the ass...especially mine."

"Hmm? Did you say something?" The genuinely curious look on the operator's face made it pretty clear she honestly hadn't heard what her Navi said.

"I said, now's a good time for AntiDamage. Send it over."

"Oh, all right. You shouldn't mumble like that, though!" Yep, keeping AntiDamage up front was going to be a very good idea..."BattleChip, AntiDamage! Slot in!"

Though there was no outward sign of it, Shuri essentially turned into a thought experiment, where, until she was actually attacked, could be considered to simultaneously be right where she stood, and somewhere else at the same time. If a cannonball came her way, however, that would tilt over into 'a doll of herself acting as though it was her', while the real thing appeared behind the fake and flung giant shuriken at the maw that delivered it. Deception and giant throwing weapons...no small wonder she loved that chip so much.

Of course, that'd only handle one of them. The other would need to be erased, as well...but most of her moves were either too weak to take out a HardHead in one shot, would require her to move and make her not a deliberate sitting duck, or was otherwise ill-suited to the current situation. But as always, she had a plan to get around that. "All right, I know how to defeat the other one. Sword will do."

"But won't that...oh, I see. Gotcha! BattleChip, Sword! Slot in!"

A small kodachi, with a glowing white blade, appeared in the Navi's hand. Her grip remained fairly loose as she eyed her foes, waiting for one of them to open their mouth, and prepare to fire. And as soon as they did, her sword would be flung at them, to try and nail them in the mouth before it could get a giant iron ball out. It'd be tough for most Navis, but an experienced ninja? Certainly doable. Doubly so since she'd had some recent practice at throwing weapons that normally weren't meant to be thrown.

And with that, she had nothing left on her list of things she needed to do. Well, aside from one...to locate any incoming cannonballs, and, if it looked like they would miss her, to deliberately move into its path to trigger her simple yet effective trap. Shurimpy, on the contrary, would do the opposite, and continue to keep as far away from the hunks of round metal as he could, even if it meant the street would be damaged. Just because she was following what she considered to be an inane request didn't mean she wasn't going to risk her SP getting hurt. There were limits.

[Order of Turn:
1-AntiDamage chip on Shuri (100, B, Slashing, hits 3 times, auto-evades and counters next non-elemental attack)
2-Wait for HardHeadA to open its mouth
3-Sword chip attack on HardHeadA (80, B, Slashing)
4-Deliberately get in way of a cannonball attack (Reverse dodge)]

[Order of Shurimpy's Turn:
1-Dodge]
The two remaining HardHeads remained understandably impassive in the face of the destruction of the vast majority of their allies. Then they continued to do as HardHeads do. The first clanked its guard open to fire and Shuri reacted with whip-like speed, loosing her blade to pierce through its exposed insides. She wasn't quite quick enough to strike before it fired, but by fortune of her own sudden response, the cannon shot and the thrown blade glided by each other without colliding. While the shot missed her, sailing across the alley to crash with an horrendous sound of shattering glass, into the other side of the alley, Shuri's own strike managed to successfully pierce the virus a moment later, so it wouldn't be doing that again.

The other one, up alley slightly on the guard rail, opened its jaws to take a pot shot at her SP instead, given how elusive the ninja had proved to his so far, but Shuri wasn't about to let that sit. In a bizarrely contradictory action, the purple clad ninja actively threw herself in the way of the attack, just so that she could evade it and prove that she wasn't, in fact, in the way of it at all. The HardHead had a split moment to register the utterly baffling nature of this action before it was shredded into junk by her counter attack.

When everything stilled, the oddly placed demolition team had been scoured from the net, onyl a single pane of glass had been broken, and Shuri was free to get on with her run, after collecting their rewards for such dedicated good samaritan work, of course.


-=Ludicrously Placed Demolition Crew=-

HardHeadA: DELETED
HardHeadB: DELETED
HardHeadC: DELETED
HardHeadD: DELETED
HardHeadE: DELETED
MagTect: DELETED

-=Probably going to be late...=-

Shuri.Exe: 150Hp [Normal]
Shurimpy.SP: 60Hp [Normal]

-=Terrain=-

65% Normal [The main thoroughfare]
20% Glass [Building walls either side are glass panelled]
10% Metal [A few purchasable vents and ducts, or sign protrusions attached to or sticking out from the walls]
5% Broken [Darn HardHead got a shot off]

-=Battle 3, victory=-

Spoils: 950z, 20 BugFrags
It wasn't a total success. That one cannonball managed to destroy a chunk of the glass on the side of one of the buildings, after all. But it could've been a lot worse, given the numbers, so Shuri figured no one had any right to complain, and extended a hand to transfer the money she'd earned. Her SP mimicked her, putting a claw forward to draw in the leftovers. But unlike the Navi, Shurimpy opened his mouth as they drew near, and got a nice snack for the effort. "The bank's not far. Barring castastrophe, I'll get in there without another fight."

"Phew...that's a relief. You're not making bad time, all things considered."

"Of course. You need this done ASAP, so I'm doing it as quickly as I can."

"...You don't really question orders, do you?"

"Wastes time." The ninja Navi ran ahead, soon noting the bank area in the distance. "I see the homepage entrance from here."

"Great. ...Hey, Shuri? I want you to do the transaction without pants. You see-"

"Understood." Shuri grabbed her large shuriken, and slashed with it...causing the entire area of her suit that would be considered 'pants' to be shredded and sliced clean off of her. The only things left below her waist were her boots, and the strip underneath that covered...certain areas. And without even slowing down, she reached the bank, though she didn't go in immediately, and instead turned to her SP. "Stay out here, Shurimpy. SPs aren't allowed inside." Though visably disappointed, the shrimp shinobi laid down on the ground, apparently deciding to get in a little rest before they continued.

Once inside, the ninja Navi could feel the stares of basically everyone there...but unlike the whole thing with Bayonet, this didn't bother her in the least. She quickly, but casually, approached a line, though for whatever reason, everyone was rather insistant that she cut ahead. Well, no sense in refusing their generosity, especially since she was in a hurry. A generic female Navi served as the teller, and she was blushing. "W-Welcome to...um......can I help you?"

"Yes, my operator needs to make a withdrawl." She showed no signs of knowing it, but she was fully aware that there probably wasn't a single person in her, or any other line, whose focus wasn't squarely on her rear. "Her name is Naomi Shimizu. Her PIN is ****." Of course, she didn't actually say asterisks...but aside from her, her operator, and the teller, that's what everyone heard.

"O-Okay. And what would you like to...do today?" The Navi cringed at her extremely inopportune pause.

"Withdrawl. We'll need ******* zenny." Thank goodness for auto-censor preventing anyone from hearing sensitive info.

"Here you go......anything else?"

"That'll be it. Thanks."

"Thank you! Come again! As Shuri did a 180, the teller's blush intensified. "...Wait a sec..."

"What is it? I'm in a bit of a hurry, here."

"It's just, um...never mind...have a nice day..."

"Thanks." And just like that, she was gone. The memories of the fabled Butt Customer, however, would live on in the bank employees' lore forever. Once outside, she waved at her SP, who happily joined her, and activated a GMO refresh, giving her proper lower body clothing once more. "I know she couldn't spit it out, but it's no secret what she wanted to ask. 'Gee, lady, how do you have such a nice, well-toned ass?' It's just a byproduct of my design, and having a fairly accurate human physiology combined with a very active profession. Ah well, can't blame her for being curious about it. I mean, I think it's pretty fantastic, myself."

Her operator's face by now was beet red. "W-Wait a sec!"

"Oh, yours is nice too, Naomi. But it lacks the definition of mine. It does has a nice curve, but it also-"

"Not that!!! You realize I wasn't actually making a serious request, right...?"

"I do. And seeing your face right now made it totally worth it."

If one looked closely, they could see the woman's brain explode through her eyes. "You mean flashing like that's a joke to you?!"

"I really don't see how that's still a surprise to you. You know I have no issues with showing off my body."

"Sigh...yeah, I know. You got me. Congrats. Now can you go now?"

"I'm waiting on you now. I'm not sure which way it is to the landlady's area."

"Oh...okay, go straight for a bit, then take a right..." Blah blah instructions blah. "Got it?"

"I do. That distance...based on how it's been so far, I'd guess I'll run into 2-3 more battles between here and there. But there's nothing I can do about that, especially if you insist on making me fight them all...come on, Shurimpy. Let's go." And so did Navi and SP venture on. Sadly for onlookers, the pants remained intact...

(Searching for Battle #4)
Oh the pants were intact alright, for now... the real question was, for how much longer?

Well there was only one way to find out, and as Shuri raced heedlessly towards the vague and undefined certainties in her future, a small part of that future came swiftly to meet her. Well, in a manner of speaking, anyway. In reality, the roadway remained quite unmolested by virus activity for a fair while. Things only started to look dicey again when she began to take the turnings that took her off the main thoroughfare of the area. The turning she was on went by what looked like a small play-ground, and rather than being enjoyed by carefree navis, the little park was serving as entertainment for a rather more motley crew.

There was a set of monkey-bars on the left, and atop it a pair of swordies were mock-fighting each other, vying back and forth atop the rails. This might have all be well and good, save that the swords crackled with electrical energy, and the climbing frame already bore several nicks and melts from where their weapons had connected in the course of their play.

In the middle, kids carousel was spinning far, far too fast as a pair of eleballs circled it, racing each other to go faster and faster and faster. The carousel had a tall turnstile pole in the middle, and right at the very top there was a small, very dizzy-looking virus, with a great many tentacly legs flailing outward as it was spun.

Further off to the right, nearest to Shuri a tall slide seemed mostly unharmed, save for a second Octon perched on the top of it, absently sky-gazing. It was that sort of slide that most young children remember for being all metal, and getting roasting hot during the summer months. There was also a swing set, towards the back right, but just as Shuri passed the little park, the swings were noisily demolished by a large, crusty-looking Armadill that had, apparently, taken exception to them. It shook wood debris off itself as it uncurled, huffing as it looked around.


-=Playing at Navis and Viruses=-

Swordy-E-A: 80Hp [On MonkeyBars][Metal]
Swordy-E-B: 80Hp [On MonkeyBars][Metal]
EleBallA: 80Hp [Orbiting Carousel][Normal]
EleBallB: 80Hp [Orbiting Carousel][Normal]
OctonA: 120Hp [Atop Carousel][Metal][Dizzy - Off-Target]
OctonB: 120hp [On Slide][Metal]
ArmadillA: 100Hp [Back Right][Normal]

-=Constantly Delayed=-

Shuri: 150Hp [Normal]
Shurimpy: 60Hp [Normal]

-=Terrain=-

80% Normal
20% Metal [All playground equipment is metal if stood or climbed on]

-=Objects=-

MonkeyBars: 80Hp [Anchored][Metal][Left Mid]
Carousel: 90Hp [Anchored][Spinning Really Fast][Metal][Central]
Slide: 100Hp [Anchored][Metal][Right Near]
Swings: DELETED

-=Battle 4, Start!=-
It surprised Shuri quite a bit as she kept moving along, yet not finding a single distraction. It was almost...disappointing, but given her current priorities, she wasn't about to go looking for trouble. "Four way coming up. Which way, again?"

"Normally, straight, but I know a shortcut if you take a left."

"On it." Not unexpectedly, sharp turns were not a problem for a skilled ninja, and down the left path she went. But not for long, as she suddenly turned on the brakes. There was a playground, and viruses were...well, not treating the equipment with respect. In particular, a certain Armadillo had just gone all wrecking ball on what looked like it used to be a swing set.

"Wow, they're gonna tear things up at this rate. Shuri, you-"

"Hold it!" She took one step forward, and gave the viruses a look that could easily kill if she made it a sig move. "I'm fine if you guys want to play here, so long as you don't attack anyone else that wants to hang out. But you WILL treat the equipment with respect. No damaging it from reckless sword swings, no nearly unscrewing the merry-go-round by going too fast, and ESPECIALLY no flat out wrecking it! And for those who would disobey my warning...Naomi!"

"Huh? O-Oh, right!" The paralegal was so stunned by her Navi's emotional response that she almost forgot what she wanted her to do. "You want to go after the Armadillo, right...? Then here, this'll delete it in one hit. BattleChip, WideBlade! Slot in!"

Shuri extended her right arm, and a katana formed in her hand. With all the speed she could muster, she raced over to the most offending of the viruses, and as she passed it, delivered a slash nearly too fast to be seen with the naked eye. Nothing elegant, nothing complex...just a single blow to fell the one that had dared destroy the swings. "The rest of you haven't done anything irrepairable yet, so I'll give you one chance. Behave. Or you'll find out how sharp my blade is firsthand." She flipped the sword in her hand, so that it was in a reverse grip, mostly to seem less directly intimidating. "See that Octon over there? It's just relaxing, and enjoying laying on the slide, like a good virus. Act more like it, and I'll let you be. ...Oh, and EleBalls? I don't know if Octon can throw up, but if they can, you're in the prime splash zone if it hurls. Just some food for thought."

"Hang on. Viruses damage the city Net, you could care less. Viruses attack a playground, and suddenly you're more upset than I am? I don't mind, but what gives?"

"It's very simple. I refuse to allow anyone to destroy a place meant to bring smiles to child Navis. It's...not right."

"...Wow. You really do have a soft spot, after all! Now I'm starting to feel bad that I remov-er..."

"...You what?"

"Er, nothing! Nothing at all!"

To top things off, Shuri could feel a tug on her pants leg. A look revealed Shurimpy trying to get her attention. "What is it? Something wrong?" Her SP motioned at his mask, then at the face of his master. "...You're not hungry, are you? You'll get plenty of BugFrags once this is done, so hold out just a little longer, okay?" This only made the crustacean intensify its motioning. "Is that not it? ...Listen, I really need to focus right now, so can you hold tight until we're not under threat?"

He clutched his head with his claws, slowly shaking his head as he looked at the wind blowing through his Navi's hair...

[Order of Turn:
1-WideBlade chip attack on Armadillo (110, B, Slashing, Wide Attack)
2-Give viruses one chance to keep playing without destroying the playground
---TURN SPLICE---
Oblivious to the issue of clothes that mattered and clothes that didn't, Shuri was quick to lay down her ultimatum to the rougher-than-needed viruses. The swordies paused to look her way, though it was hard to tell if any of the others were paying attention. The ninja followed up her warning with a controlled display of force, crossing the short distance between herself and the Armadil and eviscerating the most destructive virus before it could make another move.

The EleBalls may or may not have been paying attention, it was actually really hard to tell with them. They did, however, stop spinning around the carousel, and began to orbit in the other direction, rapidly slowing the piece of play equipment down again. For now, the sky-gazing Octon was still doing just that... or perhaps it was asleep?

As the carousel reached a stop, the dizzy one, atop the main shaft, tilted back a little, and blew a menacing-looking balloon, but it drifted vaguely upwards in a dizzy spiral, and it was kind of impossible to guess where, if anywhere, it was actually aimed at. It certainly wasn't tracking Shuri. The Eleballs kept going, and soon the carousel was beginning to spin again, now in the other direction. It was slow to being with, but was gradually picking up.

The ones most intrigued by Shuri and her actions, however, were the two Swordies, though her speech didn't manage to have the effect she had hoped for. 'Rough' was apparently the only way the two knew how to play, and seeing Shuri herself break out a blade and slice some virus, this apparently told them that it was officially 'play time' with the interloper. One of them led off first, teleporting quickly up behind the purple wonder and swinging its sword... only for the blade to catch for a moment on a chunk of the shattered swing set, causing the virus to bear over on itself, tipping upside down as it held doggedly onto its weapon, and striking the ground just behind the ninja helm first, with a thud. The other Swordy quivered and chittered something in unintelligible virus speak, but it was quite clear it was mocking its buddy.


-=Playing at Navis and Viruses=-

Swordy-E-A: 80Hp [Directly Behind Shuri][Face-planted][Normal]
Swordy-E-B: 80Hp [On MonkeyBars][Highly Amused][Metal]
EleBallA: 80Hp [Orbiting Carousel][Normal]
EleBallB: 80Hp [Orbiting Carousel][Normal]
OctonA: 120Hp [Atop Carousel][Metal][Dizzy - Off-Target]
OctonB: 120hp [On Slide][Snoozing?][Metal]
ArmadillA: DELETED

-=Constantly Delayed=-

Shuri: 150Hp [Normal]
Shurimpy: 60Hp [Normal]

-=Terrain=-

80% Normal
20% Metal [All playground equipment is metal if stood or climbed on]

-=Objects=-

MonkeyBars: 80Hp [Anchored][Metal][Left Mid]
Carousel: 90Hp [Anchored][Spinning Really Fast][Metal][Central]
Slide: 100Hp [Anchored][Metal][Right Near]
Swings: DELETED

-=Shuri has 2 Actions Remaining=-