Mission: Search and Rescue

SmogMan was content to simply float where he was, just glad that everyone was safe...until Phero mentioned the knight. His expression (such as it was) didn't change, but a small knight with a glowing face/eyes? That sounded like a Swordy to him...and with that Mettaur he saw earlier, but it didn't attack? It didn't seem like a coincidence. And yet, suggesting as much seemed...strange, to say the least. He decided to not speak up until he had more information, though.

And right as he snapped out of it, the fellow flammable Navi started to head for another door. He didn't have time to say anything, as she entered the harsh world of gravity once again. At least this time she wasn't cut off from the rest of the group. Still, it was starting to dawn on him that Phero wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. At this rate, he was going to need to take charge or something. "Phero? Are you all right? I think we need to talk..."

But that would have to wait, as viruses formed inside and out of the window. "...But I guess we should handle this first, huh?" The glowing orbs that made up SmogMan's visible eyes, however, appeared to enlarge slightly, as he noticed something that had formed. Something...unfavorable. "Er, GhostBro? If you could, do me a big favor...and defeat those things first?" He pointed over at the Blazer trio, and all their fieryness. "Fire and I don't exactly get along, you see, so it'd be a huge relief if they were gone fast..."

And to make things even worse, he could see from outside that his other partner would also be fighting this time. He could come help, but...well, he knew about seven viruses that wouldn't like that. "Sorry, Phero, but I think I need to stay out here a bit longer! So unless you really need me, I may be a few minutes! All right?"

"Hoo boy...this place is making my head spin, and I'm not even the one actually there...well, first off, we need to protect you from everything. So, I'll send this again!" Finally taking to action, Alda engaged in the ever-useful act of chip insertion. "BattleChip, Shadow! Slot in!"

Once again, the gaseous Navi went from his usual purplish hue to a pure black, with even his eyes covered by darkness. On the bright side, good luck hurting a completely incorporeal gas cloud. "Well, that's good, but...we gotta do something to thin these numbers!"

"Believe it or not, I have a plan about that! And here's step one!" Step one: take advantage of the Net gods smiling on them earlier. "BattleChip, Spreader! Slot in!"

Once the chip data transferred over, SmogMan appeared to take a deep breath, though had he not sounded like it, it'd be nearly impossible to tell given his shadowy consistency at the moment. He then let it out...'it' apparently being a small pellet. It launched forward, towards the centermost Blazer. It didn't look like an impressive attack, but if it hit, both he and GhostBro would be treated to the sight of a gaseous explosion spreading to hit everything else that wasn't a Navi on that side of the window.

But still, those flaming viruses were freaking him out, even with his newfound defenses. He should probably err on the side of caution, and make sure that they didn't hit him or anything...that'd hurt. Badly.

[Order of Turn:
1-Shadow1 chip on SmogMan (S, Shadow for 1 turn)
2-Spreader1 chip attack on BlazerB (40, A, Spread 8) (Spread Target: All other outside viruses)
3-Dodge]
Phero gave a muffled "oof" as her face hit a bunch of musky books, then stood up to look around the fittingly just-as-musky room the books occupied. Just as she was about to comment that it wasn't her favorite location she had visited recently, a bunch of viruses showed up, placing it further down the running. She also saw her former acquaintance who somehow seemed just as green at this as she was, along with a curious tiny metool. For all she knew, however, metools were normally that size and the ones she had encountered were freakish giants.

Thankfully, Dharma at least was familiar with them and realized that a tiny, hiding virus was not normal. "I feel like we are being toyed with... some slight of hand is going on to distract us from what our real goal ought to be. Regardless, these viruses aren't something you can leave alone. I'm slotting you through Heatshots to deal with them... and you may want to tell our little friend to find somewhere safe to stand," she recommended.

"Try to get away from the viruses!" Phero shouted, despite the fact that the knight could see and hear Dharma through the viewscreen easily enough. Even her allies could hear her, which might make the directions somewhat confusing. "If I use my flower field, I think I can take care of them!"

"Yes, but don't forget our testing as well. And you may want to tie up that speedy little virus too, if you get the chance."

Phero nodded, accepting a new load of experimental chemicals along with two heatshots. Although using fire as a grass navi standing in a radiating field of flowers might seem unintuitive, that strategy had proven useful for her several times in the past. She repeated it now, moving just close enough to get her flowers spread around to everyone. To be extra careful, she set up a guard shield in front of herself before beginning. "I mean it! You should get as far out of the way as you can!" she warned the knight again, giving him the busting equivalent of "Fore!" or "Timber!"

Once that was over with, she furiously pumped her hand spritzer; she had a lot of fluid to distribute. First,she'd need to try and spritz one of the hands with her likely mutagenic, sketchy as hell perfume compounds. Next, she would heat the rest of the formula and release it like a miniature, liquid grenade towards the enemies. With the help of the grass, she might be able to deal a fair amount of damage. Hopefully Dharma would handle recording the experiment's results herself, as she often did. It all seemed to be going okay, except ..

"Phero, did you remember to lock down that metool like I asked?" Dharma murmured, trying not to show her agitation in front of her party guests.

"Um... no ma'am..." the pink-haired navi sobbed, pressing her fingers together sheepishly.

1) Move closer to viruses
*) SetGrass ([large grass terrain]
2) Guard1 for self [1-hit shield + reflect up to 60, S accuracy + piercing + line attack]
*) Bug subtype Hack @ HandyB
3) Heatshot @ HandyA and spread to Kettle [40 fire shot, A accuracy + spread]
4) Heatshot @ HandyB and spread to Kettle [40 fire shot, A accuracy + spread]
After she radiated out several square feet of blooming flowers, Phero's main strategy was mostly just rapidly incinerating everything in her sight with a few burning HeatShots. The Kettle blew its top and spoke in a viral tongue, which was apparently the cue for the Handy to disappear into the floor, and place several bombs on the field. One of them was caught in Phero's Heatshot, which blew over to the Kettle. The water-laden virus reacted explosively, erupting in a superheated cloud of steam and dealing heavy damage to a couple of Handy still standing near along with their bombs.

Phero heard something crash at the back of the bookshelves, presumably a bunch of books falling from the shelves from what she could hear. There was no sign of the Metool. The little knight-thing she was defending for still stood petrified at the scene of the battle, though that was probably for the best.

-- Inside --
Handy A: DELETED
Handy B: DELETED
Handy C: DELETED
Kettle: BOILED OVER
Metool?: 40 HP [Hidden further inside]

Little Knight: ??? HP

Phero.EXE: 100 HP (Guard1)

Terrain: 65% Normal, 30% Grass, 5% Broken (Behind Little Knight)




Though he was a little intimidated by the fiery birds, SmogMan relegated the Blazers to his ally, who gladly agreed to some pounding. "All right, dude, you just do your... smoke-thing, or whatever it is, yo." He lifted his funnel and began to charge it, causing it to light up with a red glow.

"One bird buffet, comin' right up!" he roared, and the funnel belched out an impressive plume of fire towards the fiery birds. Apparently, it didn't really occur to him that it would probably be best not to take out fire in front of SmogMan. Oh well, they were all dead anyway, thanks to SmogMan's help with a Spreader explosion assist.

The UFOs responded to the occasion by bum-rushing both SmogMan and GhostBro, and the BigHats threw out their bombs onto the sidewalk. SmogMan managed to sidestep the UFO flying at him, but GhostBro wasn't too lucky in that regard, getting his funnel snatched away! "Yo, give that back, you butt!"

-- Outside --
Blazer A: DELETED
Blazer B: DELETED
Blazer C: DELETED
RedUFO A: 80 HP [left of window]
RedUFO B: 80 HP [right of window]
BigHat A: 100 HP [Riding RedUFO A]
BigHat B: 100 HP [Riding RedUFO B]

SmogMan.EXE: 140 HP [Shadow]
GhostBro.EXE: 185 HP

FlashBomb A: 20 HP (Sidewalk)
FlashBomb B: 20 HP (Sidewalk)

Terrain: 80% Blank, 20% Sidewalk (Normal)

[Inside and outside are not separate, and can be traversed in between by the broken window Phero floated through.]
Whew, all fiery things were gone. Which meant no fire. Which meant no setting him on fire. Hooray! But, wait...what about those explosions inside the...whatever it was? SmogMan took a peek inside, but only saw one thing...Phero. "Oh, what a relief...looks like she's safe!" He, on the other hand, not so much, with UFOs and sunglasses wearers threatening him and his allies with their sheer sunglasses-based brand of terror. "Alda, I know you're having a conversation and all, but do you mind sending me something that'll help reduce the danger?"

"Sure, I could use something to clear my mind." And her mind was filled with mental images. MENTAL IMAGES SHE COULD NEVER TRULY GET RID OF. "Here, with this you won't have to move a...gas cloud hand? Muscle sounds so much better...anyway, BattleChip! SideBamboo! Slot in!"

True to his operator's word, the gaseous Navi simply floated in place, not doing a thing as a cloudy version of a Kilby virus popped up next to a vehicle/sunglasses pair. It peered out from its less than solid bamboo bush, noticing the enemies, and causing it to grab its translucent lance. After rearing back, it thrust the weapon forward, to try and pierce the two with a spear made out of gas. Perhaps what was strangest of all was that if it worked without a hitch, it still probably wouldn't be the weirdest thing they'd seen since entering..."All right, maybe I can help with the oth-what?!" Looking over at where there was ground, two shining spheres glowed ominously. He was pretty sure GhostBro didn't make them, and Phero couldn't have put them there...uh-oh. "Uh, Alda, I think I need something else..."

"What, can't you handle someone hanging their balls out?~" ...Ugh, mental images returning, abort, abort!

"I think they may be bombs of some sort..."

"Wha?!" Crap, he was right; her PET was labeling them as 'FlashBombs'. That didn't sound good. "All right, here! Do what you gotta do! BattleChip, Shotgun! Slot in!"

As the chip data started to transfer, SmogMan began to float over to the glowing yellow balls, and lined himself up with them along the sidewalk. His mouth opened wide, followed quickly by an energy blast that, if done properly, would cause the first one to be destroyed harmlessly, then keep going long enough to hit the second one, which would be destroyed as well. It wasn't the most glamorous way to defuse some bombs, but it was the best way: the kind that could work.

[Order of Turn:
1-SideBamboo1 chip attack on RedUFOA and BigHatA (80, Wood, B, Long Attack)
2-Line up with FlashBombs
3-Shotgun chip attack on FlashBombA (50, A, Spread 1) (Spread Target: FlashBombB)]
"Well, that went off more elegantly than expected," Dharma commented, thanking herself, never her prototype navi, for showing a rare moment of battle competency. She hadn't designed Phero to be a perfect fighter because people tended to appreciate a degree pc vulnerability in their mate so as to feel needed... but sometimes she admitted to a fear that she may have overshot with programming that particular lack of finesse into Phero. "You should aid SmogMan now." Not that he cared that much about SmogMan besides his potential usefulness as an alternate prototype for the dispersion, but she probably wouldn't look like a very good boss if she neglected him.

"Sorry, Madam President, but I think I have something more important to do... If we don't investigate these others before they disappear again, we might never get to the bottom of what's going on here. SmogMan can handle those viruses, I think, while I try to nab the Metool for questioning," she suggested. It didn't look like her knight companion was going anywhere for the time being.

"Phero," Dharma replied, crossing her arms slowly with a dark expression of fake care and concern.

"Y-Yes, Madam President?"

"At least offer our friend some help in the form it your test compounds! Then you are free to go. Duty is no cause for abandoning a friend~"

Phero understood the subtext: nothing is a cause for abandoning your duty, but try to remember your REAL duty. Nodding quickly, Phero clinched her teeth and tried to stimulate a pheromone release. She wasn't overly stimulated herself at the moment, so it wasn't as easy as usual... Kind of one of those things that comes easy when you don't need it and hard under pressure.

"Phero..."

"... Just a minute longer!"

"..."

"... Erm! Ah..." she sighed, finally getting the pink cloud to shoot out from her pores. The pheromone dust beelined for SmogMan's enemies. "I wish you wouldn't watch... it makes it so much harder..."

"What kind of operator would I be if I didn't observe your every action?" Dharma chuckled with hidden sadism.

Phero wanted to comment that a little freedom sounded like it would hit the spot, but decided the better of it, as usual. Before abandoning SmogMan, she also left him a gift: "I think you need this more than I do!" she shouted, snapping her purple wax shield off the ground and tossing it to him. She hoped he would be able to catch and hold it somehow... Now, she focused her attention on the bookcases, where she'd seen the Metool retreat. "Hello? Don't be afraid, I'm not dangerous!" she called out, scampering in with both caution and urgency. She slowly lifted her mostly bare legs to avoid stepping on any books, although she had to wonder if there was even an owner who cared.

"Try using something to lure it out. Attract its attention," Dharma suggested, pacing slowly but restlessly across the deck.

"Oh, I remember. Um," she muttered in response, then rested her hands on the nearest bookshelf. She stood on her tiptoes as if trying to reach the highest shelf, causing her skirt to ride high enough on her hips to show off a glimpse of her pink undergarment. "Like this?"

"... No. The OTHER means of attracting attention. VIRUS attention," Dharma replied, momentarily breaking character to facepalm.

"Right! Sorry," Phero gasped, looking embarrassed. She emitted a slow mist of particles, hoping that it could work to attract the virus as a pheromone. She had no evidence it would, however, but maybe the virus liked sweet smells?

*) Bug Subtype Hack @ RedUFOB [glitch]
1) Throw Guard1 to SmogMan
2) Head in to look for Metool
3) Sexy posing
4) Sweet smells
Having defeated her adversary easily, Phero assisted her ally, and went further inside towards the bookcases, ignoring the little one she had just saved. The little armored fellow was still scared to death, though, so it didn't matter for the moment, as it just stood there without a sound. The pink-white Navi ventured in, finding a mess of books blocking her path that would lead further in. Fortunately, she saw a speck of yellow beneath some of the books, and once she released her attractive chemicals, out popped the Metool with a mysteriously blank look on its eyes. Its face looked a little red, too...

"E-Excuse me? M-Miss Phero?" a voice suddenly called out from behind her.

At the sound of the voice, the Metool snapped out of its fugue, and looked towards the tiny armored figure, a little ways behind Phero. It squeaked slightly, and started to backpedal a little.

-- Inside --
Handy A: DELETED
Handy B: DELETED
Handy C: DELETED
Kettle: BOILED OVER
Metool?: 40 HP [About to run away!]

Little Knight: ??? HP [Approaching Phero]

Phero.EXE: 100 HP



While SmogMan prepared a Kilby to skewer some viruses, GhostBro angrily dashed towards the UFO with his hands outstretched. "I'll teach you to mess with my gear!" he roared, grappling with the odd little virus. His little game was over in a moment, however, as he narrowly dodged the Kilby's attack, which deleted the flying virus. "Whoa! Close shave!" he swerved, regaining control of his funnel device, which lit up immediately as he did so.

A few beams of light shortly found its way through both BigHats, with GhostBro announcing smugly, "Ba-boom!" Meanwhile, a yellow Guard shield flew through the air, and was snagged mid-flight by the remaining UFO. Phero's pheromones also found its way into its systems, whereupon it proceeded to blast out huge beams of light around the place in an alternating colored pattern, as well as funky dance music.

-- Outside --
Blazer A: DELETED
Blazer B: DELETED
Blazer C: DELETED
RedUFO A: DELETED
RedUFO B: 80 HP [right of window] [Guard1] [Disco Mode]
BigHat A: DELETED
BigHat B: DELETED

SmogMan.EXE: 140 HP
GhostBro.EXE: 185 HP

Terrain: 80% Blank, 20% Sidewalk (Normal)

[Inside and outside are not separate, and can be traversed in between by the broken window Phero floated through.]
Even though his menacing 'face' rarely changed expressions, one could practically feel the 'what the heck' vibes coming from SmogMan as he looked (and heard) over at the remaining virus. He knew what caused the sudden case of disco fever, but at the same time...since when did pheromones do...that? "You know, if that can actually happen in the real world, R+D's gonna have a lot of fun in the upcoming days..."

"Y-Yeah..." When she signed up for Heart-Payne Pharmaceutical's research team, inducing living things with spontaneous disco music and lights wasn't QUITE what she had in mind...at least it hadn't made any mirror balls. "Let's just destroy it and forget it happened, okay...?"

"Fine with me, but..." Yeah, having that shield wasn't going to help. "...I'm gonna need a way to get through that guard. I don't think my poison'll get through."

"Yeah, but...huh?" Wait, she hadn't used it already? Apparently she was getting senile. With a sigh, Alda slammed in the one chip she had that was guaranteed to make short work of the stolen Guard. "Never mind, it's in. BattleChip, Shake, already slotted in!"

A small sphere of yellow gas appeared between the gaseous Navi's equally gaseous hands, which he gently shot forward. Though it seemed that he had missed by a not inconsiderable margin, it slowed down, until it was at the RedUFO's side. The gas expanded into a Heavy-like shape, and without further delay, tried to crash right into the boogieing virus. With any luck, it'd go right through the Guard, and through the enemy, putting a nice, pretty bow on the battle. But, just in case..."No matter what, I'll break that shield!" With that, a pair of small, round gas clouds sped forth from SmogMan's mouth, in an attempt to make the limited barrier expend itself. Still, he had to brace himself, as if it came to that, it was going to sting a little...

[Order of Turn:
1-Shake1 chip attack on RedUFOB (90, C, Break, Wide Attack, hits next turn with half accuracy)
2-Buster shot on RedUFOB (10)
3-Buster shot on RedUFOB (10)]
"Well, those results were far from what I had envisioned. Tell me, Phero: why is it that so many of your compounds produce fits of era-inappropriate dancing?" Dharma questioned, semi-secretly pissed that both the shield and the pheromones had ended up counterproductive (disco music counted as counterproductive for her).

Phero raised one hand slowly. "Pardon me, Madam President, but they're not really my compounds so much as... the company's?" she asked, trying to find a better way to say it than "your compounds."

"Yes, well, producing a working prototype of this compound will be no easy task, that's for certain," Dharma sighed with a forgiving smile, benevolent enough just to hoist the false blame up and off of Phero. "Of course course there will be some complications along the way. We're fortunate to have such an unrestricted method of field testing, at least."

As she nodded along, Phero assessed the situation. She figured that, honestly, SmogMan seemed like he was doing better before she started helping, so she decided to get her nose out of that and focus only on her own situation. She had come to far to let the tiny metool run off again. She jumped slightly as the knight spoke up again,surprising her. "Please, stay where you are," she threw out over her shoulder in response to his address. "Unless you can help me to keep this metool still... in which case I would appreciate the help."

Phero knelt down and cozied her knees and shins beneath her, then ducked her back to lean forward, like she was playing with a dog. Her skirt belled up in such a way as to expose the full, round shape of her bottom to the knight behind her, while her top showed off an indecent amount of cleavage to the metool in front. Indeed, viewing Phero from either worm's or bird's eye view offered a fair bit of titilation. She spread both arms and put on her warmest smile. "I'm not going to hurt you!" she reassured him, then rested on her arms.

Dharma was sickened by the brief but undeniable desire to pet her own navi's head or give her a hug. "I thought it was ridiculous, when I heard one of my researchers suggest you wear cat ears... now in understanding why he would say that," she shuddered. It was hard for her to investigate chemically induced love when the very concept of love was so icky to her. Couldn't she just call it willful servitude or emotional slavery instead?

1-4) Play kitty with the metool
The UFO's newfound fabulosity didn't last very long against the incredibly Heavy gaseous attack from SmogMan, which pretty much crushed it beyond recognition and ending the fight on his side at long last. Reward packets aside, GhostBro pumped his fist in the air triumphantly and raised his hand for a high-five... only to realize he'd probably be on thin air. "Oh, right, sorry, haha," he said, glancing over towards the broken window portal and propelling himself towards it.

"Wonder how she's doin', I'm gonna go check."

-- Outside --
Blazer A: DELETED
Blazer B: DELETED
Blazer C: DELETED
RedUFO A: DELETED
RedUFO B: DELETED
BigHat A: DELETED
BigHat B: DELETED

SmogMan.EXE: 140 HP

Terrain: 80% Blank, 20% Sidewalk (Normal)

// BATTLE REWARDS:
Phero: 600z
SmogMan: 525z

In response to Phero's sudden act to grab its attention, the Metool did what you'd expect it to do and... completely ignored it, in favor of the figure that was currently approaching them. The little knight said nothing, and kept walking towards her, though she couldn't exactly see anything given that all her attention was on the scared little Metool.

"Yoooo, anyone in here-- Ah!"

At the sound of GhostBro's voice, the Metool perked up and ran immediately towards its source, and jumped at him with a fantastic leap. The Navi barely managed to catch it in his arms, and tumbled slightly backwards, laughing. "Ahahaha, hey, lil' bro, finally! Where'd you run off to, you little ass?" he chuckled. Then, he turned towards the little knight, who had been ignored for most of the time.

"Hey, you kinda look like that big monster armor thing we found earlier. Friend of his?" he asked. Right after he did so, a shriek came from inside the helmet, and the armor started to erupt in huge bulges rapidly. Growing at an alarming pace, it quickly towered inside the small space and knocked over a few shelves.

It stopped growing after a few seconds, groaning slowly as it did. "Uhhhh-kay, that's a little more than we asked for," said GhostBro, putting down the Metool and his finger onto his earpiece.

"Yo, we got the lil' man, beam 'em up."

Shortly after, the Metool disappeared in a beam of light, away from the big scary beastie that was currently towering over them. Turning towards Phero, he said, "Uh, don't wanna be a douche or anything, but you should probably like, let the pro handle this shiz? Don't worry about the job, you got it finished. Don't wantcha gettin' deleted."

As he was talking, the huge armored thing in front of him probably got tired of waiting and lobbed a gauntlet-clad fist at the Navi, which he (loudly) sidestepped. Its groaning got even louder as it tried to dislodge its fist from the ground.

"It's gettin' antsy, man! Hurry on out!"

---

Ghast Knight: 1000 HP [Stunned! (Hand Stuck in Ground)]

Phero.EXE: 100 HP
SmogMan.EXE: 140 HP (Outside)
GhostBro.EXE: 185 HP
Metool: 40 HP

Terrain: 55% Normal, 30% Grass, 10% Cracked, 5% Broken
While relieved that all the enemies were now completely incapable of hurting then, SmogMan was still a bit worried about Phero, what with all the weird stuff the area was clearly capable of doing. He quickly scooped up and transferred one of the reward data packets, and silently followed GhostBro as he sought to check up on the other gaseous Navi. It was then revealed that, in fact, he wasn't crazy earlier, and that there really was a non-malicious Mettaur hanging out. And apparently, it was friends with GhostBro. Who would've guessed? But that wasn't his main concern at the moment, so he floated over to Phero, who was in a very...interesting position. "Miss Phero! Are you all right?" He could hear the radical Navi say something about a butt, but he could tell it wasn't directed at his operator's boss's Navi; from this angle, it was extremely obvious that hers wasn't little.

"Maybe you should get up..." Before he could say anything more, though, the cloudy Navi heard something...that didn't sound good, and turning around showed that there was now a giant suit of armor. Yep, definitely not good. GhostBro was telling them to get out and let him handle it. That sounded like a fine plan to him. Still, he couldn't leave Phero by herself, even for a moment. After all, if anything happened to her, it'd end up making him, and more importantly, Alda, look really bad. "Er, I think that's a VERY good plan...Miss Phero, you go first! I'll jack out right after you!" Huh, that almost made it sound like he was going to stay and fight, in a veiled sort of way. Well, that was something he absolutely had no plans to do. He liked living, thank you very much.
"Well, a happy reunion. Looks like our job is done. Time to go, Phero," Dharma agreed. Her navi was designed to be a state or the art chemical dispenser and love-magnet; as such, her battle proficiency was only what she needed to traverse the net safely. Fighting giant, armored enemies did not need to be anywhere on Phero's agenda, as far as the president was concerned.

For once, Phero agreed; as soon as she got up, by SmogMan's recommendation, she found herself stumbling back and falling on her butt. She pondered asking Dharma if she needed to unload another batch of the experimental compounds before she left, then realized her operator was giving her the go-ahead to leave anyway, as was her partner. "Yes, l-let's both go. I'm sure this is just another ghost house trick that our friends will be through in no time," she agreed, sounding only partially convinced (and labeling their very short term acquaintances more familiarly than they ought to be).

"Alda, I hope you are planning to jack SmogMan out right away," Dharma chuckled as she pulled her navi off the net. "Heroics are unnecessary in most cases... especially this one."

((Jacking out))
"Oh, don't worry, he's jacking out whether he likes it or not!" Fortunately for Alda, SmogMan had no intentions of being a hero, and the instant all traces of Phero were gone, he himself vanished from the Net.

(jacking out)
[+8 FXP Smog/Phero]