Waiter! There's a Virus in my Battle!

"Eugh…" Hippie dusted her chest and legs with her hands. "I don't think that floor's been washed in… forever."

The spiral staircase led to a room with… "More stairs...?" The whole robot seemed to be built out of them.

<<Oooooh, tres-chic!>> Hippie commented on the grand stairwell. <<Hey, there's a prog up there!>> Torrent peered up at the top of the stairs, where a buggy prog flickered in and out of corporeality. Finally, some good news! A friendly face! And not a single virus to get in her- <<Actually, there's like four viruses in the way.>> Hippie interjected, somehow anticipating her train of thought.

Torrent shed a single tear. "I just wanted to live in that world for a moment…"

<<Oh, I'm so sorry, Torry…>>

"No problem." Torrent whispered, letting the world drop away into blissful nothingness, where the grass flowed in the wind, the air smelled of peaches and cream, and no one wanted to blast her into digital garbage-

<<OH NO!>>

Torrent shrieked, her nozzles inflating in panic and shielding her with a protective bubble. "What? What?"

<<I've got muffins in the oven!>> Torrent heard the sounds of scrambling and fumbling. <<Here, take these and I'll be right back!>>

"Wait, no! Don't leave me!" Torrent cried out, but her partner had gone.

Shoot! Torrent peeked up at the viruses, who by now had noticed her and were angling their guns (Ooh, Champy, such muscles!) at her. The data Hippie had sent her before she left was… a Cannon and the weird mind wind thing. 'Shoot' it is then…

Torrent slapped the chip data into her palm, where it inflated into a drab grey bubble. The two viruses closest to her looked heavily armoured, so instead she aimed for the relatively defenceless boxing bell. She didn't like the looks it was giving her. Torrent pulled back the bubble, slingshot style, and fired the cannon blast at the Champy.

Once the cannon data had left, the Typhoon chip entered her mind, whispering mad threats and archaic promises. It filled her with the heebie jeebies and she desperately looked for somewhere to dispose of it. And he two viruses near her just happened to be ideal locations. Torrent remembered what a pain the ColdHead had been last time, so instead she dropped the tornado on the lesser protected of the two. The whispers vanished, flowing from her mind towards the CannonGuard and forming a deadly hurricane.


---TORRENT'S TURN SUMMARY---

[1]: {Sig, 2TCD} Hydro Power (50 HP Barrier + Counter (Melee Hit): Knockback) -> Torrent

[2]: Cannon (60dmg + Knockback, A) -> Champu
[2+]: Marksmanship (+1 Shot Accuracy)

[3]: Typhoon [b](30dmg x 3 Hits (Acc: (Special))) -> CannonGuard

Greeting the viruses with a sad look in her eye, Torrent readied herself to face the troublemakers, when her operator left her to deal with a baking emergency! Thankfully, the chips that she had been left with seemed to be decent enough to put up a fair fight with. Even better, one of the viruses didn't seem to want to start off guns blazing right out the bat, either; the ColdHead opted to keep its mouth shut and simply observe for now. The Catack at the top of the staircase didn't seem quite as patient, and squeaked out some kind of incomprehensible bellow, before sinking into its tank and firing out a powerful tank shell. Thankfully, her panic from being left to fend for herself was working in her favor, as the defensive bubble she had raised managed to deflect the shell successfully. The tiny tank operator's reaction was to exit from its hatch and hurl some squeaky insults at her, though even if she could understand them, the ringing in her ears from the explosive shell would likely be a bit of a detriment. The floor underneath her seemed to be unstable as well, and if she didn't get away from where she was standing, it was likely she'd be taking a rather unfortunate fall, given how far up she had climbed.

Meanwhile, Torrent herself took aim at the Champu with the Cannon she had been provided, and managed to score a direct hit on the burning boxer! A good case for her, since its fists would have popped her bubble a lot more easily. The CannonGuard whirred to life, preparing to fire its own shell at her, but before it could do so, the dark whispers overtook Torrent, and she unleashed a tornado at its exposed top half. The turbulent gales easily wrecked the poorly-constructed turret, sending shards of it flying everywhere before it could get a shot off. Poor thing. Meanwhile, if her hearing had recovered, she would be able to hear a loud voice calling from within the double doors. "Oh! Is-a that someone to save us?! Help! He--" the voice said, before being abruptly cut off somehow.

-- Cantankerous Comrades --
CatackCatack (Catack)

Catacks move at a slow rate and their dodges are generally bad. They can, however, attack in any direction while moving or attempting to dodge.

Area: SciLab, Electown, Dentech, Beach, Hades Isle

HP: 120
Attack Damage/Effect: 20 Null + Panel Crack + Blast2
Attack Accuracy: B
Attack Description: Blasts enemy with TankCannon.
Element: None.
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): TankCannon1, Zenny
Special: May Move/Dodge while attacking.
Special: Slow: 120 HP (Solar, Top of staircase)
ChampuChampu (Champy)

Champy viruses teleport when they attack.

Area: ACDC, SciLab, Electown, Kotobuki Town, Hades Isle

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 10 Fire + Impact x 2 Punches
Attack Accuracy: B
Attack Description: Punches twice with fire.
Element: Fire
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): FireHit1, Zenny: DELETED
ColdHeadColdHead (ColdHead)

ColdHeads alternate actions between attacking and guarding. These are the only actions ColdHeads may perform, and the first action of every battle is always guarding. ColdHeads will not break from this pattern unless forced to by status effects. ColdHeads cannot be lifted or thrown, even with Rageclaw.

Area: SciLab, Sharo, Hades Isle

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Aqua + Break + Small Ice Terrain Change
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires Cannonball. Breaking. Creates Ice Terrain.
Element: Aqua
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): IceBall1, Zenny
Special: Immobile.
- Iron Body when not attacking.: 60 HP (Solar, Slightly above the bottom end of staircase) (Guarding!)
CannonGuardCannonGuard (CannonGuard)

CannonGuards are automatically in guard mode unless they are attacking. When guarding, the turret is protected by a shutter that will stop any and all non-breaking attacks from the front. This shutter cannot be destroyed, even by a breaking attack, so long as the virus exists. The shutter does not protect the turret portion of the virus against attacks from the back or sides. The base of the virus is also immune to non-breaking damage.

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town, Netopia, NAXA

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 15 Null + Lockon
Accuracy: A
Attack Description: Locks on and attacks
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): MarkCannon1, Zenny
Special: Immobile.
Special: Target's evasion counts less against this virus.
Special: Can guard against attacks.: DELETED

-- Nebulous Navis --
Torrent.EXE: 120 HP (Cracked, bottom floor) (Barrier30) (Counter(Melee Hit): Knockback)

-- Auspicious Area --
40% Solar

• Elec Elementals get +5 HP/action.
• Wood attacks: +100% Source Damage, change terrain hit to Cracked.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Stun1.

(Stairway in the middle of the area)
55% Normal

• No effects.

(Half on top floor, and half on bottom floor)
5% Cracked

• Changes to Broken when stepped on, chance to fall in when triggered.
• Burrow: Change terrain to Broken, Null 50 to burrower.
• Panel Crack attacks, >100 Damage Break/Impact/Drop attacks: Change terrain hit to Broken.
• PanelShot: Splash1.

(Where Torrent is standing)

Torrent flailed her arms trying to regain her balance. While her bubble shield kept her protected from any real harm, it’s specialised shock-absorption didn’t really apply to a direct hit from a tank cannon. The floor beneath her cracked and crumbled, threatening death or, worse, forcing her to re-climb all those stairs.

No, wait, the death thing was way worse.

Torrent pushed on the bubble, jerking herself forward and away from the loose panel. She tripped on the first step of the stairwell and went sprawling. She pushed herself up, staring straight into the ColdHead’s indifferent face. She screamed in a way where no actual sounds came out of her mouth.

<<Torrent! Did you find religion?>> Hippie returned, observing Torrent’s prostration in front of the virus.

“What?” Torrent squeezed her eyes shut, forcing pressure on her digital brain to get it working properly. “What?” Unfortunately no matter how she pushed it, Hippie’s no-doubt flawless logic could not be comprehended by Torrent’s processor. “What?”

<<By the way, my muffins were fine. Here! Have some!>>

“Uh, ok?” Chip data flowed into Torrent, a Shotgun and an Arsenal. “Wait a minute. These aren’t muffins! They’re terrible weapons of death and destruction!”

<<Aw!>> Hippie pouted. <<I thought if I put the chips in the muffin and then slotted it in you’d get a tasty treat!>>

“That’s... That’s not how this works.” Torrent’s processor was on the verge of giving up altogether. “That’s not how any of this works!”

<<Hey, do you hear that?>> Hippie interrupted. <<I think someone’s home!>>

Torrent listened. She barely heard the tale end of a cry for help before it was suddenly silenced. “Aha! Must be the prog we’re looking for!”

Torrent peeked past the ColdHead. If the ball-shaped virus could block her shots, there was a good chance it’d do the same for the tank’s shells. The tank virus barred the way between her and the large door, which was presumably where she’d find the captive prog. She downloaded the yellow Arsenal data into her palm and inflated a golden orb filled with glowing lights. She pulled back the film, rotated around the edge of the ColdHead and fired at the Catack. The orb burst half-way to the virus, releasing a spear of light surrounded by four smaller beams, all sailing towards the tank virus.

<<Moo, Shai-mee!>> Hippie mumbled, her mouth full of baked goods.

“Hippie,” Torrent chastised, loading the shotgun data into a grey bubble and taking aim at the Catack, “Don’t battle with your mouth full! I don’t want to die just because you got crumbs all over the PET!” She divested a certain amount of frustration at her operator into the Shotgun chip, letting loose the film and shooting the bubble out of her palm with a snap. Like the Arsenal, the grey bubble popped halfway up the staircase, bursting into a deadly hail of shrapnel.


---TORRENT'S TURN SUMMARY---

[3]: Combat Flail (Movement -> To the stairs in front of ColdHead!)

[1]: Arsenal1 (40(+5 STAB) dmg + 10(+5 STAB) dmg x4, Elec, A = 105 dmg) -> Catack
[1+]: Marksmanship (+1 Shot Accuracy)

[1]: Shotgun (50 dmg + Spread 1) -> Catack
[1+]: Marksmanship (+1 Shot Accuracy)


[Cooling] Hydro Power, 1 Turn Left

Torrent stumbled across the stairs towards the source of the cries for help, several damaged panels falling in behind her as she went, until the timid navi could take shelter from the tank behind the seemingly impervious dome of the other virus. Amidst her operator's muffin-stimulated confusion, she prepared a new attack, but found the ColdHead grinding nosily as it rotated in place, trying to get a line on her. The heavy scrape of metal was followed by the clank of its shell opening, but the shot that fired blistered off into the distant inner workings of the machine she was hoping to repair with a series of crashes and the cracking of fresh-forming ice. At least torrent herself hadn't been hit.

The muzzle of the virus misted and seemed to radiate cold and remained open for a few seconds, while Torrent peeked out to send a bubble blast up the remaining stairs to the other virus. A series of direct hits rocked the little tank, but it clung on, just barely, and shot another explosive shell in her direction. The indiscriminate blast sent cracks lacing through more of the ground around her, but Torrent herself was spared harm from the blast, while the ColdHead took several shrapnel scores in her place. Lucky for her, less so for it. Torrent popped out a second time with another shot, and when this bubble popped it not only destroyed the tank on the landing above, but the spreading shrapnel also peppered the still-open ColdHead to the point that its hinge snapped and the top slid away. The virus began to break down completely a moment later.

Perhaps sooner than expected, the landing was clear of hostiles, or so it seemed for now. This only left Torrent facing the now ominously silent door ahead, where the calls for aid had cut off moments before.

-=Cantankerous Comrades=-
CatackCatack (Catack)

Catacks move at a slow rate and their dodges are generally bad. They can, however, attack in any direction while moving or attempting to dodge.

Area: SciLab, Electown, Dentech, Beach, Hades Isle

HP: 120
Attack Damage/Effect: 20 Null + Panel Crack + Blast2
Attack Accuracy: B
Attack Description: Blasts enemy with TankCannon.
Element: None.
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): TankCannon1, Zenny
Special: May Move/Dodge while attacking.
Special: Slow: DELETED
ChampuChampu (Champy)

Champy viruses teleport when they attack.

Area: ACDC, SciLab, Electown, Kotobuki Town, Hades Isle

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 10 Fire + Impact x 2 Punches
Attack Accuracy: B
Attack Description: Punches twice with fire.
Element: Fire
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): FireHit1, Zenny: DELETED
ColdHeadColdHead (ColdHead)

ColdHeads alternate actions between attacking and guarding. These are the only actions ColdHeads may perform, and the first action of every battle is always guarding. ColdHeads will not break from this pattern unless forced to by status effects. ColdHeads cannot be lifted or thrown, even with Rageclaw.

Area: SciLab, Sharo, Hades Isle

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Aqua + Break + Small Ice Terrain Change
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires Cannonball. Breaking. Creates Ice Terrain.
Element: Aqua
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): IceBall1, Zenny
Special: Immobile.
- Iron Body when not attacking.: DELETED
CannonGuardCannonGuard (CannonGuard)

CannonGuards are automatically in guard mode unless they are attacking. When guarding, the turret is protected by a shutter that will stop any and all non-breaking attacks from the front. This shutter cannot be destroyed, even by a breaking attack, so long as the virus exists. The shutter does not protect the turret portion of the virus against attacks from the back or sides. The base of the virus is also immune to non-breaking damage.

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town, Netopia, NAXA

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 15 Null + Lockon
Accuracy: A
Attack Description: Locks on and attacks
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): MarkCannon1, Zenny
Special: Immobile.
Special: Target's evasion counts less against this virus.
Special: Can guard against attacks.: DELETED

-=Nebulous Navis=-
Torrent.EXE: 120Hp

-=Auspicious Area=-
35% Solar

• Elec Elementals get +5 HP/action.
• Wood attacks: +100% Source Damage, change terrain hit to Cracked.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Stun1.

(Stairway in the middle of the area)
50% Normal

• No effects.

(Half on top floor, and half on bottom floor)
15% Cracked

• Changes to Broken when stepped on, chance to fall in when triggered.
• Burrow: Change terrain to Broken, Null 50 to burrower.
• Panel Crack attacks, >100 Damage Break/Impact/Drop attacks: Change terrain hit to Broken.
• PanelShot: Splash1.

(Where Torrent is standing)

-=Battle 3, Victory!=-
Spoil: 480z, IceBall1Damage: 120 + Break + Small Ice Terrain Change
Accuracy: C
Description: A bomb that changes the ground it lands on to Ice
Duration: Once
Element: Aqua
Special: Ice Type: This chip counts as Ice Type for the purposes of potentially freezing targets on Aqua Element Terrain or environments, as applicable.
Trader Rank: D

<<Woo! You go, sister!>> Hippie cheered, followed by the noise of someone devouring two muffins at the same time.

Torrent watched morbidly as the top part of the ColdHead rolled past her and fell into the abyss... Of stairs... "I... didn't know they could shoot each other..." She devolved into imagining turf warfare between rival virus gangs deep, deep below the surface code of the networks, where no navigator could ever survive. What quixotic drama could have unfolded beneath her very boots? What ponderous and plastic loss of electric life pockmarked the underworld with a billion unmarked graves? What egregiously enormous amounts of loot had fallen between the cracks and disappeared into the void?

She wept a single, slightly electrified tear, for all the death she had just made up in her head.

<<Uh, Torry?>> Hippie coughed dryly, the fruits of her feeding folly. <<We still- *cough* got a little lime logarithm to liberate!>>

Torrent realised she was spacing out and instead spaced up the stairs in a manner that would make sense when 'spaced' is used as a verb. Pressing her head to the door, she listened for anything that would give her a clue as to what awaited her on the other side. She pushed into the door, concentrating. There was something... Faint... Like, like...

<<Unlocked door says what?>>

"What?" Torry blinked, falling forward as the doors swung open under her own weight.

((ENTERING BATTLE 4))

As she stumbled forward through the fortuitously unlocked door, Torrent found herself falling into an odd scene. The room at the top of the landing opened into a larger chamber that, in another time and under proper functionality might serve as the main processing centre for all of the auto-waiter's functions.

At the moment it looked a bit trashed. Consoles and storage terminals had been shoved roughly out to the edges of the chamber to create a broad open space in the middle, the centre of which seemed to be full of a variety of cooking utensils and other kitchen apparatus gathered from who-knew-where else in the machine. Particularly odd was the very large metal cauldron in the centre propped up on a number of other smaller cooking appliances. The main source of strangeness was, naturally, that the auto-waiter itself wasn't responsible for cooking or preparing any food at all, so the question of where his all came from was a mystery... though some of the utensils looked like cartoonishly actualised renditions o some of the menu icons customarily visible.

The other source of oddity was a large iron-bar spit propped up above the cauldron, bearing a quite familiar green Prog tied to it with an excessive amount of rope. There was no fire under the cauldron, no heat, and no apparent actual danger to this set up, save for the viruses themselves. There were viruses too, she would notice. A Champu was eagerly turning the spit, causing the prog to rotate slowly, while on the other side a Swordy was waiting, idly sharpening his blade and watching the 'cooking' process. Just in front, a trio of Ratty were also watching intently, though they turned about and began squeaking furiously as Torrent bumbled inside.

“THIS IS A HEALTH AND SAFETY VIOLATION!” The prog called, ever helpful, from its position on the spit. A small gaggle of other programs had been herded into a make-shift pen in one corner of the room, and most bobbed up and down passively, waiting to see what would happen. there was only one other door into this circular room, up a small flight of stairs on the far side from torrent, but for now she had bigger fish to fry... or to prevent from frying as the case may be.

-=Questionable Cooks=-
ChampuChampu (Champy)

Champy viruses teleport when they attack.

Area: ACDC, SciLab, Electown, Kotobuki Town, Hades Isle

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 10 Fire + Impact x 2 Punches
Attack Accuracy: B
Attack Description: Punches twice with fire.
Element: Fire
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): FireHit1, Zenny: 60Hp [Metal][Turning the spit]
RattyRatty (Ratty)

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Null + Blast1 + Homing + Ground Attack
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires a ratton missile that scurries in a tricky pattern toward an opponent.
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): Ratton1, Zenny
Special: Gains one free dodge at 30 health, but this only activates if the virus remains alive at this value. Missile has object properties, as an object equal to the damage dealt: if a missile is fired and dodged, it will remain active at 30 HP and attack the opponent again before it is destroyed. Never comes alone, favors pack mentality. A: 60Hp [Metal][Central, in front of cooking gear]
RattyRatty (Ratty)

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Null + Blast1 + Homing + Ground Attack
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires a ratton missile that scurries in a tricky pattern toward an opponent.
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): Ratton1, Zenny
Special: Gains one free dodge at 30 health, but this only activates if the virus remains alive at this value. Missile has object properties, as an object equal to the damage dealt: if a missile is fired and dodged, it will remain active at 30 HP and attack the opponent again before it is destroyed. Never comes alone, favors pack mentality. B: 60Hp [Normal][Central, in front of cooking gear]
RattyRatty (Ratty)

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Null + Blast1 + Homing + Ground Attack
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires a ratton missile that scurries in a tricky pattern toward an opponent.
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): Ratton1, Zenny
Special: Gains one free dodge at 30 health, but this only activates if the virus remains alive at this value. Missile has object properties, as an object equal to the damage dealt: if a missile is fired and dodged, it will remain active at 30 HP and attack the opponent again before it is destroyed. Never comes alone, favors pack mentality. C: 60Hp [Metal][Central, in front of cooking gear]
Swordy-ESwordy-E (Swordy-E)

Area: SciLab, Electown, NAXA

HP: 80
Primary Attack Damage/Effect: 15 Elec + Long Range Attack + Slashing
Primary Attack Accuracy: B
Primary Attack Description: When this virus is 2 panels away from the target, or its enemies are 2-deep, it will attack with Elec Blade.
Secondary Attack Damage/Effect: 10 Elec + Wide Range Attack + Slashing
Secondary Attack Accuracy: B
Secondary Attack Description: When this virus is standing directly adjacent to its target, or diagonally from it, it will attack with Elec Sword.
Element: Elec
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): ElecKnife, Zenny
Special: Swordy-E's are immune to Stun Status.
Special: Uses Area Grab to get into attack range.: 80Hp [Metal][Opposite Champu]

-=Proggy Protector=-
Torrent.Exe: 120Hp [Normal]

-=Safety-Conscious Salad=-
Mr. Prog: 100Hp [Metal][A bit tied up]

-=Final Floor!?=-
30% Metal

• Cannot be Broken or Cracked except with Geddon/PanelShot, cannot be Burrowed into.
• Elec attacks: +100% Source Damage.
• 100 Damage Aqua attacks: Change terrain hit to Cracked.
• 100 Damage Fire attacks: Change terrain hit to Furnace.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Break.

[Central area containing cooking equipment]
50% Normal

• No effects.

[Majority of the floor]
20% Solar

• Elec Elementals get +5 HP/action.
• Wood attacks: +100% Source Damage, change terrain hit to Cracked.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Stun1.

[small patches in the corners of the area]

-=Battle 4, Start!=-

Torrent paled at the ghastly sight before her. Five hungry viruses crowded around a wailing Prog, their sharp, slavering teeth longer than their faces, acidic drool burning through the panelled floor, the heat of the fire lighting up their evil grins and roasting their captive alive-

“Wait a minute. There’s no fire!” Torrent’s wild imagination came to an abrupt halt as a central part of the horror was missing.

<<Maybe it is in their mind.>> Hippie nodded sagely.

“What?” Torrent blinked. “How does that work?”

<<Well, you know, mind over matter. If you can stop your mind from registering burning, maybe you can do the opposite.>> Hippie nodded parsley. <<They can just use their minds to cook.>>

Torrent squeezed her eyes shut. “I just knew ‘The Women Who Stare At Narwhals’ would be a bad influence on you.”

Hippie nodded rosmarily. “And stop that!” Torrent huffed. “About to be assaulted by spectres of death here!”

<<Besides!>> Hippie changed tract, <<There’s no seasoning on that prog. He’s going to taste awful!>>

“Hippie!” Torrent began to hyperventilate.

<<Don’t they have oregano?>> Hippie was beginning to sound horrified. <<Or any curry powder? Tell me they at least have paprika!?>>

“Hippie, no time for criticism!” Torrent puffed, barely able to breath. “Fire or no, that prog’s about to become today’s special! I need something to shoot them with before they’re done saying grace! And before I end up as dessert!”

A long handle with a large ring on one end appeared in Torrent’s outstretch hand. The centre of the ring was lashed together with a grid of wires that hummed and vibrated as they moved through the air. Torrent stared at it, appalled. “This isn’t a gun!” She complained.

But Hippie was lost in her own thoughts. <<I mean, not even salt and pepper? That’s cooking 101!>>

“Fine! FINE!!!” Torrent screeched. “You want me to be a melee navi? A common bruiser? A thug with a mug? Big boss’ left-hand hook to the jaw? Bootleg run down the grubby swamps of the bayou, sirens wailing from the shoreline armada?” Adrenaline subroutines rattled around in her framework, clashing with panic and fear. Torrent raised her weapon above her head and screamed, tears in her eyes as she charged. The viruses grew larger and larger, looming far above her like red-eyed titans, herself shrinking within her own addled illusion. “I’ll~ show~ you~!”

She swung the racket at the vermin triplets, a powerful blast of air smashing forward. She angled downwards, aiming the weapon away from the hostage and more toward the stilts of the spit that were holding the prog aloft. The racket slipped out of her grasp at the end of its arc, sailing far through the room before exhausting itself into non-existence.

<<You know what season’s missing from this meal?>> Hippie pondered out loud. <<High voltage!>>

Torrent’s palm glowed yellow, an electrified bubble growing from the nozzles on her bodysuit. Tears of fear clouding her vision, she snarled the film of the bubble in her fist, wrenching it back and stretching the sphere. If any of the Rattys remained, she’d be aiming for one of their little rascally faces. But if the missile-happy mice had clocked out thrice, the champion Champu, chef in training, would find himself the target of Torrent’s taser bubble. She released her hold on the bubble, snapping the film back into shape and shooting it out of her palm. The bubble jittered and crackled as it flew the short distance to her target.

Hippie daydreamed mintily. <<I wonder how my bagels would turn out if I tried electrocuting them...>>


---TORRENT'S TURN SUMMARY---

[1]: Delirious Dash (Movement -> Towards the Ratty trio)

[2]: WindRacket (100dmg + Northwind (On-Hit Only) + Microburst (On-Hit Only) + Gust + Wide Attack, A) -> Ratty Trio

[3]: Marublaster1 (60 dmg + Glitch + 5 STAB dmg, Elec, B -> Remaining Ratty / Champu
[3+]: Marublaster Melee/Sword Combo (WindRacket) (+1 Shot Accuracy)
[3+]: Marksmanship (+1 Shot Accuracy)


[Cooling] Hydro Power, Ready Next Turn

While her operator pondered the finer points of Prog preparation, Torrent drove herself to acts of fear and adrenaline-fuelled heroics, dashing in to deal with the viral nasties before they could do any more harm.

“RUNNING WITH UTENSILS IS UNSAFE!!” The tied up program advised from its restrained position. The champy and wordy both took good heed of this advice, warping towards Torrent as she closed. The swordy didn't manage to strike her, though the fire-fisted virus did better, scoring two quick, light blows as the timid navi dashed past.

Her first goal as the trio of rats, and they had only just turned to see her approach before her wind-empowered strike threw all three up and over the spit set-up to slap with a note of finality against the back wall. Torrent was now between the tied up Program and the two remaining viruses, but her electrical taser bubble swiftly reduced that number to just one as she turned back and blasted the Champy with it before it could recover from its strikes.

-=Questionable Cooks=-
ChampuChampu (Champy)

Champy viruses teleport when they attack.

Area: ACDC, SciLab, Electown, Kotobuki Town, Hades Isle

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 10 Fire + Impact x 2 Punches
Attack Accuracy: B
Attack Description: Punches twice with fire.
Element: Fire
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): FireHit1, Zenny: DELETED
RattyRatty (Ratty)

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Null + Blast1 + Homing + Ground Attack
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires a ratton missile that scurries in a tricky pattern toward an opponent.
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): Ratton1, Zenny
Special: Gains one free dodge at 30 health, but this only activates if the virus remains alive at this value. Missile has object properties, as an object equal to the damage dealt: if a missile is fired and dodged, it will remain active at 30 HP and attack the opponent again before it is destroyed. Never comes alone, favors pack mentality. A: DELETED
RattyRatty (Ratty)

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Null + Blast1 + Homing + Ground Attack
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires a ratton missile that scurries in a tricky pattern toward an opponent.
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): Ratton1, Zenny
Special: Gains one free dodge at 30 health, but this only activates if the virus remains alive at this value. Missile has object properties, as an object equal to the damage dealt: if a missile is fired and dodged, it will remain active at 30 HP and attack the opponent again before it is destroyed. Never comes alone, favors pack mentality. B: DELETED
RattyRatty (Ratty)

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Null + Blast1 + Homing + Ground Attack
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires a ratton missile that scurries in a tricky pattern toward an opponent.
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): Ratton1, Zenny
Special: Gains one free dodge at 30 health, but this only activates if the virus remains alive at this value. Missile has object properties, as an object equal to the damage dealt: if a missile is fired and dodged, it will remain active at 30 HP and attack the opponent again before it is destroyed. Never comes alone, favors pack mentality. C: DELETED
Swordy-ESwordy-E (Swordy-E)

Area: SciLab, Electown, NAXA

HP: 80
Primary Attack Damage/Effect: 15 Elec + Long Range Attack + Slashing
Primary Attack Accuracy: B
Primary Attack Description: When this virus is 2 panels away from the target, or its enemies are 2-deep, it will attack with Elec Blade.
Secondary Attack Damage/Effect: 10 Elec + Wide Range Attack + Slashing
Secondary Attack Accuracy: B
Secondary Attack Description: When this virus is standing directly adjacent to its target, or diagonally from it, it will attack with Elec Sword.
Element: Elec
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): ElecKnife, Zenny
Special: Swordy-E's are immune to Stun Status.
Special: Uses Area Grab to get into attack range.: 80Hp [Normal][Behind Torrent]

-=Proggy Protector=-
Torrent.Exe: 100Hp [Metal]

-=Safety-Conscious Salad=-
Mr. Prog: 100Hp [Metal][A bit tied up]

-=Final Floor!?=-
30% Metal

• Cannot be Broken or Cracked except with Geddon/PanelShot, cannot be Burrowed into.
• Elec attacks: +100% Source Damage.
• 100 Damage Aqua attacks: Change terrain hit to Cracked.
• 100 Damage Fire attacks: Change terrain hit to Furnace.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Break.

[Central area containing cooking equipment]
50% Normal

• No effects.

[Majority of the floor]
20% Solar

• Elec Elementals get +5 HP/action.
• Wood attacks: +100% Source Damage, change terrain hit to Cracked.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Stun1.

[small patches in the corners of the area]

Torrent paused near the unlit cauldron, her face in her palms. “Ow. Owowowowow~”

<<Is it bad?>> Hippie mothered over her, <<Let me see it!>>

“It feels like my face is made of spicy food!” Torrent whined.

<<Oh, it’s not that bad.>> Hippie sighed with a smile. <<Half of being a hero is getting punched in the face! You’ll just have to get used to it.>>

“Getting punched in the face is the exact thing I’m trying to avoid!” Torrent eyed the Swordy warily as she kept her back to the cauldron. It was a miracle that she’d taken out so many viruses in so short a time. Everytime something like that happened, she wondered about Hippie’s true netbattling ability. Torrent’s confidence in her operator fluctuated with every minute, yet despite her generally unprofessional nature, there was some tiny shred of genius hidden within that impossible human.

The Swordy looked as though it were ready to add her to the spit, its glowing sword buzzing with unholy heat. Torrent stared back at the red eyes behind its serrated visor. She watched its movements, the low bob of its levitation, the subtle twitches of its sword, the thunderous drum beat of its laughter.

No, wait, that was her racing heart.

<<Is this a Maxican Standoff?>> Hippie butted in. <<Are you doing a Maxican Standoff?>>

“No.” Torrent lied.

<<Hold that thought,>> Hippie clattered about in what Torrent presumed was the cafe’s kitchen. <<Maxican Standoffs are long enough that I can make some popcorn!>>

Torrent tried to take a step to the side, but she could feel the virus’ gaze pinning her to the spot. She bet it was just waiting for one moment of weakness before cleaving her in twain. At her side, her hand tensed, the first hints of electric film slowly eking out of the nozzles on her palm.

While the microwave buzzed in the background, Hippie began to hum a tune, soon transitioning into singing the melody. There were trumpets going <<Baaah baaah baaaaa!>> and guitars going <<Dee dee deedle, dee dee deedle~>>. Torrent’s left hand glowed as a chip was transferred into her, a wild and untamable energy. The Typhoon… She’d had trouble getting it to integrate with her system before, and it was pretty much luck that she’d gotten it to work in the first place. But now an idea percolated in what little of her anxiety-riddled brain that still functioned.

A bead of electric liquid dropped down from her forehead and she could have sworn there was a similar bead of grey fire on the Swordy’s visor. Hippie’s singing was drawing noticeably toward a climax. The rising pitch of her acapella grew into a melodically-lacking screech, then stopped abruptly, followed by the starting-gun ‘ping!’ of the microwave.

Torrent brought up both hands, projecting a thick, half-sphere, bubble shield in front of her, intending to deflect the Swordy’s inevitable attack. Before the shield dissipated, she funneled the power of the Typhoon chip into its form, twisting it into a twisty twister of electric water, sparking and sloshing as it spun. With a heave, she shunted the mass forward toward the lone virus, the bubbled Typhoon skittering across the floor.

Torrent winced, the movement reminding her that her face was still suffering from 3rd-degree haymakers. A subroutine within her informed her that she had not utilised her ability to heal. “What? How long have I had this?” Hippie was too busy whistling something that vaguely resembled the tinny tune of a music box to answer her question.

Rolling her eyes, Torrent activated the subroutine. The liquid stored in her glass chambers pumped rapidly, and Torrent felt the code in her face rid itself of bugs and damage. It felt… heavenly, the fatigue and stress washing away as her liquid cycled rapidly through what could be considered her ‘bloodstream’. “Oh, now that one’s my favourite!”


---TORRENT'S TURN SUMMARY---

[1]: Shield -> Swordy-E

[2]: Typhoon (30x3dmg) -> Swordy-E

[3]: {Sig, 1TCD} Ocean Current (+30HP) -> Torrent

A final showdown between torrent and the last remaining virus, while the restrained prog watched on with oblivious excitement from where it was tied to the spit nearby. For once it seemed to appreciate the tension in the air and didn't make any more announcements. When the moment came and both of the poised opponents moved, Torrent raised her shield just in time to catch the lunging stab from the Swordy. Electricity crackled as the recoil made it reel and the blade spun upwards, arcing in a graceful,dramatic spin through the air just as Torrent struck with her whirling typhoon, scrubbing the virus from the net.

The other progs in the pen in the corner bobbed up and down and looked at the victor curiously, glancing amongst themselves and back to her in rapid succession. The prog on the spit seemed equally enthusiastic.

“USING EXPOSED ELECTRICITY AROUND METAL SURFACES IS DANGEROUS!” Its sage advice was ever helpful, even in dire situations. Torrent would also notice that, amongst the other remains, the fallen sword of the last virus had remained relatively intact after its wielder's destruction.

-=Questionable Cooks=-
ChampuChampu (Champy)

Champy viruses teleport when they attack.

Area: ACDC, SciLab, Electown, Kotobuki Town, Hades Isle

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 10 Fire + Impact x 2 Punches
Attack Accuracy: B
Attack Description: Punches twice with fire.
Element: Fire
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): FireHit1, Zenny: DELETED
RattyRatty (Ratty)

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Null + Blast1 + Homing + Ground Attack
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires a ratton missile that scurries in a tricky pattern toward an opponent.
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): Ratton1, Zenny
Special: Gains one free dodge at 30 health, but this only activates if the virus remains alive at this value. Missile has object properties, as an object equal to the damage dealt: if a missile is fired and dodged, it will remain active at 30 HP and attack the opponent again before it is destroyed. Never comes alone, favors pack mentality. A: DELETED
RattyRatty (Ratty)

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Null + Blast1 + Homing + Ground Attack
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires a ratton missile that scurries in a tricky pattern toward an opponent.
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): Ratton1, Zenny
Special: Gains one free dodge at 30 health, but this only activates if the virus remains alive at this value. Missile has object properties, as an object equal to the damage dealt: if a missile is fired and dodged, it will remain active at 30 HP and attack the opponent again before it is destroyed. Never comes alone, favors pack mentality. B: DELETED
RattyRatty (Ratty)

Area: SciLab, Kotobuki Town

HP: 60
Attack Damage/Effect: 30 Null + Blast1 + Homing + Ground Attack
Attack Accuracy: C
Attack Description: Fires a ratton missile that scurries in a tricky pattern toward an opponent.
Element: None
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): Ratton1, Zenny
Special: Gains one free dodge at 30 health, but this only activates if the virus remains alive at this value. Missile has object properties, as an object equal to the damage dealt: if a missile is fired and dodged, it will remain active at 30 HP and attack the opponent again before it is destroyed. Never comes alone, favors pack mentality. C: DELETED
Swordy-ESwordy-E (Swordy-E)

Area: SciLab, Electown, NAXA

HP: 80
Primary Attack Damage/Effect: 15 Elec + Long Range Attack + Slashing
Primary Attack Accuracy: B
Primary Attack Description: When this virus is 2 panels away from the target, or its enemies are 2-deep, it will attack with Elec Blade.
Secondary Attack Damage/Effect: 10 Elec + Wide Range Attack + Slashing
Secondary Attack Accuracy: B
Secondary Attack Description: When this virus is standing directly adjacent to its target, or diagonally from it, it will attack with Elec Sword.
Element: Elec
Possible Rewards (Per Virus): ElecKnife, Zenny
Special: Swordy-E's are immune to Stun Status.
Special: Uses Area Grab to get into attack range.: DELETED

-=Proggy Protector=-
Torrent.Exe: 120Hp [Metal]

-=Safety-Conscious Salad=-
Mr. Prog: 100Hp [Metal][A bit tied up]

-=Final Floor!?=-
30% Metal

• Cannot be Broken or Cracked except with Geddon/PanelShot, cannot be Burrowed into.
• Elec attacks: +100% Source Damage.
• 100 Damage Aqua attacks: Change terrain hit to Cracked.
• 100 Damage Fire attacks: Change terrain hit to Furnace.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Break.

[Central area containing cooking equipment]
50% Normal

• No effects.

[Majority of the floor]
20% Solar

• Elec Elementals get +5 HP/action.
• Wood attacks: +100% Source Damage, change terrain hit to Cracked.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Stun1.

[small patches in the corners of the area]

-=Battle 4, Victory!=-
Spoils: 780z, ElecKnifeDamage: 60 + Slashing
Accuracy: B
Description: Creates a sword made of electrical energy, with a blade comparible to a large knife. Hits one target per slash.
Duration: Until Overridden/Broken. Breaks automatically after 6 swings.
Element: Elec
Trader Rank: D, A Restrained Prog?

Torrent jogged on the spot, her rejuvenation subroutine spiking her with energy. “Man, this feels great! I feel great!”

<<Get yer head on straight, par-den-ahr.>> Hippie accented in a deep voice. <<Dem hens won’t wrassle in a coop, y’hear?>>

Torrent slowed as the energy wore off. “Y’know, I feel extremely distressed that I understood what you meant.” She bent down to pick up the slain Swordy’s sw- blade took it to the cauldron and began cutting the bonds holding the Prog to the spit. “Have no fear, my good prog!” Torrent pointed a thumb at herself, accidentally jabbing herself with the knife. “Your local hero has arrived!”

<<Snake oil bottlin’ in’a dusky apple greased varmint.>> Hippie continued to mutter, rambling nonsensically.

“Hippie, are you just reading off words from a western slang webpage?”

Hippie paused a moment to consult her western slang webpage. <<Reckon not, poppet.>>

Torrent squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, before turning to the resident Mr Prog. “You wouldn’t happen to, uh, know where all these varmints- I mean, viruses, came from, would you?” She walked over to the pen in the corner and attempted to dismantle it, hacking at the cobbled-together mesh with the knife.

((Talking))

“FROM THERE.” The Prog pointed with one of it’s ear hands to the small door at the far end of the room, then went to fetch its fallen chef hat. “THAT ROOM LEADS TO OUR SCILAB CONNECTION. THAT’S WHERE WE GET OUR SOFTWARE UPDATES FROM THE UPDATE PROG.” Although it seemed impossible, the Prog’s unmoving smile brightened, “WHAT A DAME!” The Prog floated dreamily for a moment, before magically expressing shock without changing its face. “SHE MIGHT BE IN DANGER!”

“Shouldn’t the Firewall have kept the viruses out?” Torrent asked, heaving against the other Progs’ jail, pulling one of the walls down to a chorus of delighted cheers.

“IT MUST HAVE BEEN EXTINGUISHED, SOMEHOW.” The Prog began to bounce up and down in worry, which chained into the newly released Progs. “OOOH, IF ONLY BLITZMAN WERE HERE…” Torrent ended up surrounded by a gaggle of panicking Programs.

She put her hands on her hips. “Hey, you don’t need that guy!” She flourished. “I’ll turn the Firewall back on!”

The Progs all stopped to look at her. It took them a full ten seconds to process her claim. “OH YEAH!” The head Prog bounced happily. “YOU CAN DO IT, MISS TRIDENT!” The rest of the Progs took up his almost-correct chant.

“It’s Torrent, but yeah, I will!” Torrent turned to the small stairwell and ascended up to the door. She smiled smugly to herself. Finally, all the gruesome battles were done with. Now she just had to flip a switch and come out smelling like bubble bath.

Unfortunately, a nagging sensation tugged at her. “You alright, Hippie? You’ve been quiet for a long time. Long for you, anyway.”

<<Let’s just be careful, Torry.>> Torrent bristled, noting a hint of tension in Hippie’s voice. <<Remember, Mr Rito disconnected the robot while it was still active. Whatever, or whoever, was attacking us has to still be in here somewhere.>>

Torrent’s hand began to shake as she grasped the door handle, her cheery expression wobbling slightly. “D-don’t worry, Hippie.” Torrent pushed the door open and walked through. “We cleared out the robot. We won. There’s not going to be any silly little messages that say:”

((ENTERING BATTLE 5))

Passing through the door into the connection room brought about an immediate change in atmosphere. Rather than a neat and orderly circular chamber, what torrent found was a wild mas of flailing wires and cables, sprouting from every panel over the floor and bursting out of every console in the chamber. It would have resembles a field of overgrown grass, except that it was predominately the greys and silvers of connection cables and circuit wires, with the occasional red or yellow covered line scattered in amongst them. Seeing through the mass wasn't too difficult, as the floor wires only reached as high as her waist – thankfully none of them seemed to be actively live any more and they simply waved around in a haphazard manner.

The room itself was surprisingly spacious, circular, with a singe thick column in the centre, also sprouting all manner of burst cables and wires. Several large view screens about the wall were shut off currently, and a variety of consoles had once lined the room all the way around the circle, but there were few other features to note, aside from the field of swaying and flicking cables.

There was one other thing to note, unfortunately. A tall shape in the faux grass cantered back and forth around the far end of the chamber; it looked mostly like a very large, sleek horse with a powerful build, but it was made almost entirely out of machine parts and mechanical instruments, all of which moved and hissed as it ran about. As the door closed behind Torrent, the creature turned in her direction, letting out a grating, mechanical whinny and a snort.

“No food! All lies!” The voice that came across to her was metallic and jarring, with a wavering modulation that shifted up and down at random intervals. “Break and Consume! Break and Consume!” It snorted again, then reared up, metal hooves flashing and glinting, before starting to charge towards her.


-=Hungry Horse=-
HayWyre: 300Hp [Casing (10Hp)][Metal]

-=Proggy Protector=-
Torrent.Exe: 120Hp [Metal]

-=Hay-field Havoc=-
100% Metal

• Cannot be Broken or Cracked except with Geddon/PanelShot, cannot be Burrowed into.
• Elec attacks: +100% Source Damage.
• 100 Damage Aqua attacks: Change terrain hit to Cracked.
• 100 Damage Fire attacks: Change terrain hit to Furnace.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Break.

Room is large and circular, about two movements in length across, with low consoles on the outer edge. A large column sits in the centre, partially obscuring view.

The floor, parts of the walls, all of the consoles and the central column are all sprouting a large volume of wires and cables that wave and lash about wildly, about two feet in length. These slow down movement and impair dodges slightly, but have no other averse effects.

-=Battle 5, Start!=-

The mood shifted entirely as soon as Torrent stepped into the room. It wasn’t as spacious as the one before it, especially with the massive trunk port in the centre of the room. This was where the Auto-Waiter directly connected to the SciLab network. Torrent could tell that the port was inactive, not just because the port was dark and lacked the tell-tale shimmer of the firewall, but also because it was covered in a thousand tendrils of sparking and flailing wires, reaching out like gravitationally-challenged seaweed.

“What… in the name of Byte…” Torrent gaped, horrified. The whole room was covered in these live wires, as though some aesthetic-averse gardner had tried to cram them onto every possible surface. “This… isn’t… contagious… is it?” Torrent wondered out loud. Looking around the room, there were consoles on the walls, mostly unusable. One of them should be able to reactivate the firewall...

<<No, Torry! Don’t go into the long grass!>>

Torrent took a step forward into the tangled mass and suddenly her vision whirled, flashing black and white before fading into a blinding darkness. When she could see again, she was sliding sideways and crashed into her own health bar. At the same time, a terrible horror stepped out from behind the pillar into view, and her liquid electricity turned to ice.

It was something from a B-movie, a patchwork amalgamation of clockwork atrocities in the vague shape of a horse. Its body writhed and pulsed as various mechanical body parts shuddered and clanked together. It raged around the field of wires, huffing and snorting in frustration as though unable to find what it was looking for. But before she could even squeak in fear, the thing it was looking for suddenly became her.

<<Weird Techno Zombie Horse wants to fight!>> Hippie declared unhelpfully.

“Wh-what… program is that?” Torrent could barely move, the coils of wires wobbling around her legs like a chat emoji. “I don’t think that’s a virus, Hippie.”

<<Well, ‘RUN’ is always an option.>> Hippie shrugged.

“Good point.” Torrent turned to the door, ready to leave this place and claim the robot was irreparable, oh well, sorry boss, did all we could.

“GOOD LUCK, GREAT WARRIOR!” The Chez Prog smiled impassively at her from the doorway. Torrent stared at the Prog as the portal slowly swung shut, the Prog beaming at her until the last cracks of light disappeared, sealing her in.

The beast whinnied with a sound like a dying modem and thundered towards her.

“Oh balls!” Torrent tried to sidestep the iron beast, but the wiggling wormy cables snagged at her her tubes and legs. At best, she jumped from a standing position to fall flat into the sea of cables. There was a slight nipping sensation as loose wires sparked little flecks of lightning into her skin. “Ooh! Ow! That stings!”

As Torrent pulled herself to her feet, she sucked in a deep breath. Bubbles inflated from every nozzle on her body, joining into each other and surrounding herself in a protective bubble, distended by her legs.

<<Torrent, use Hyper Ball!>> Hippie ordered.

“You want me to shoot that thing?” Torrent’s eyes widened. “I think all that’d do is make it angrier and weirder!” Hippie mashed (A) even harder, and Torrent was forced to comply. “Alright, fine!” She held her right hand with her left and made a gun pose with her finger and thumb. The nozzle on the tip of her finger inflated with a bubble of liquid electricity. The contents sloshed around and around like a washing machine, getting faster as the bubble got bigger. She took aim at the horse-thing and took a shot. The bubble rocketed off of her finger, whirling around like it was trapped on the edge of a horizontal tornado. On contact, it burst, discharging its electrified contents into whatever it hit.


---TORRENT'S TURN SUMMARY---

[1]: Snake in the Grass (Dodge)

[2]:{Sig, 2TCD} Hydro Power (50 HP Barrier + Counter (Melee Hit): Knockback) -> Torrent

[3]:{Sig, 1TCD} Spiral Splash (40dmg Shot-Type) -> HayWyre

Shut in with a one-horse stampede, Torrent did her best to move evasively through the mass of long, writing cables and tendrils. At the far end of the room, the mechanical creature whinnied and stamped its hooves again, pawing at the ground. Its form began to flicker and stutter as it did, phasing slightly as bits of it seemed displaced or shifted left and right.

As Torrent prepared her defences against it, the beast cantered back and forth, coming closer gradually, until it faced the uncertain navi directly, stamped once, and lowered its head towards her. As it did, a series of metal plates raced over its body, covering the most exposed parts of it, though they looked oddly transparent and slightly ethereal. At the same time, two large, riveted diamonds of steel slid out from its sides and slammed forward in front, meeting before its head with a clash of sparks. It looked as much like an on-coming plough as it did a protective shield. Partially because the horse snorted once more heavily and then began to charge through the synthetic grass field directly towards her.

Torrent took a shot as it bore down on her across the open space, but between the movement, the distracting cables, and the odd flickering and shifting of its body, her first attempt shot past it to splatter on the wall behind, seemingly without connecting. The beast was just about on top of her now, but if she was lucky, Torrent might have a moment still to react before it hit.

-=Hungry Horse=-
HayWyre: 300Hp [Casing (10Hp)][1-hit Shield][Floating Point (4): 8% increased miss chance] [Glitches: Transparent Armour(-), Chip Limiter(2), SAS Wild(2), Buster Crasher(2)][Metal, right in front of Torrent]

-=Proggy Protector=-
Torrent.Exe: 120Hp [Barrier (50Hp): Counter Set][Metal]

-=Hay-field Havoc=-
100% Metal

• Cannot be Broken or Cracked except with Geddon/PanelShot, cannot be Burrowed into.
• Elec attacks: +100% Source Damage.
• 100 Damage Aqua attacks: Change terrain hit to Cracked.
• 100 Damage Fire attacks: Change terrain hit to Furnace.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Break.

Room is large and circular, about two movements in length across, with low consoles on the outer edge. A large column sits in the centre, partially obscuring view.

The floor, parts of the walls, all of the consoles and the central column are all sprouting a large volume of wires and cables that wave and lash about wildly, about two feet in length. These slow down movement and impair dodges slightly, but have no other averse effects.

-=Glitch Record=-
(New glitches will be marked in bold)

Transparent Armour (Balance Glitch)(Mutable Glitch): The victim's armour, including cloth, leather and metal clothing as well as casings, but not including barriers or wielded shields, turns transparent and looks glassy or ethereal. This has not negative impact on its protective capabilities. This glitch can be affected by other glitches. Lasts until combat ends, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Chip Limiter (Negative Glitch): Part of the victim's processing space for handling and processing battle Chips has become corrupted and no longer functional. As a result, No more than 2 battle chips can be used per turn. This glitch has no effect on carriers or targets that cannot access battle chips. Lasts 2 turns, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

SAS Wild (Balance Glitch): The victim suffers random instances of Sig Chill and Sig Burn each turn. Each turn, two of the victim's signatures will gain an additional turn of cool down, or be forced onto cool down as though they had been used, and they will receive two instances of Sig Chill to allocate to signatures already on cooldown. SPs with this glitch may allocate their Sig Chill to their navi, though the Sig Burn aspect will only take effect on signatures customised for the SP specifically. All instances of Sig Chill and Sig Burn created by this glitch may stack with each other on the same signature, increasing or decreasing the active cool down appropriately. Lasts two turns, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Buster Crasher (Negative Glitch): The victim suffers a short duration Buster Crash, as per the effect. Lasts two turns, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Torrent’s spiralling energy ball crackled past the wild horse, dissipating into the wall of the control room.

<<It’s super effec->>

“It bloody well missed and you know it!” Torrent yelled in frustrated terror. She squinted her eyes as best she could, trying to figure out what was happening to the creature. The tendrils in the room were making it hard to move and aim, but the horse looked like it was having problems of its own. Weird fluctuations in its mechanical body rippled and snarled, sparks and blueish light snapping and shooting out of hidden crevices. Torrent stared dumbly as the beast jerked and its mechanical skin suddenly became see-through. She recognised a couple of the glitches that were infesting its body, but there were even more she could only guess at.

But now it was the horse’s turn to attack. A diamond-shaped plow formed in front of Haywire’s head, the creature charging across the field of wires.

Torrent tensed to move, but the movement felt odd and she glanced down. Several of the floor vines had accidentally twisted themselves around her legs in their unintelligent flailing. Crap. Crap. Crap! Torrent panicked, unable to decide what to do. The beast was almost upon her and her mind had gone blank.

With a flash of liquid electricity, long tapering claws sprang out of her knuckles. <<The wires, Torry!>>

Torrent jerked the knives down, slicing at the wires around her boots then threw herself to the side as the beast’s charge reached her, hoping against hope that the diamond wedge wouldn’t pierce through anything vital.

Torrent rolled along the field of wires, their buzzing wriggles tazing her with tiny sparks. “Ooch ooch ooch!” Torrent hissed at the stings. She rose to her feet and slashed at the wires, cutting at the ones unfortunate enough to be in range. If they were going to make life miserable for her, she’d make their miserable lives end. Wait, were they even living? No matter. The beast was still here and she couldn’t do much with all these wires tangling her feet.


---TORRENT'S TURN SUMMARY---

[1]: Rageclaw (40dmg + Slashing, B)-> Hay Field beneath Torrent

[2]: Adder in the Grass (Dodge)

[3]: Rageclaw (40dmg + Slashing, B)-> Hay Field around Torrent


[Cooling] Hydro Power, 1 Turn Remaining

[Cooling] Spiral Splash, Ready Next Turn!

As the glitch-ridden mechanical horse bore down on Torrent, a new plan emerged, and she immediately began cutting and slicing at the waving cables all around her, clearing a space. Just in time, she managed to remove most of the wrapping, flicking tendrils and created enough open area to duck and roll away, while her foe lashed out.

As it crashed past her the metal wedge ground by, before a rapid flailing of its fore-hooves threatened to pummel the would-be hero. It landed and twisted about, bucking in place and attempting to slam her with a strong back kick as well, but Torrent was nimble in her panicked escape, and none of the wild attacks connected with her.

She rose, still slashing cables, only to see the horse curving away as though to arc back. As it cantered about, however, it tossed its head, and a sudden electronic, metallic screeching filled the air, followed by a painfully loud reverb. A pained whiny, high-pitched like screeching steel followed, and the horse stumbled suddenly, falling to the ground in a dead drop, before its hooves began to lash and kick wildly at the air.

It stilled after a moment and the sound faded, then scrabbled at the ground with noisy scrapes as it stumbled to its feed again. If anything the odd blurring of the creatures edges was even more pronounced now, and telling exactly where it was was getting more difficult, but it certainly didn't sound as though whatever had happened was good for it. It snorted and tossed its head, stamped its hooves a few times and tore with vicious anger at a handful of the flailing cables with its teeth, then turned back to face torrent again, lowering its head and braying as it did. From what she could see, all of its armour plating and shielding now bore a lacework of spider cracks through it, as well as being mostly transparent, and small shards looked to be poking inwards, digging into the metal bodywork underneath.

-=Hungry Horse=-
HayWyre: 240Hp [Casing (10Hp)][1-hit Shield][Strengthen: 20][Floating Point (7): 14% increased miss chance] [Glitches: Transparent Armour(-), Chip Limiter(1), SAS Wild(1), Buster Crasher(1), Auto-Custom(2), Razor-Glass Armour(-), Charge Limiter(2)] [Metal, a little off to Torrent's right]

-=Proggy Protector=-
Torrent.Exe: 120Hp [Barrier (50Hp): Counter Set][Metal]

-=Hay-field Havoc=-
100% Metal

• Cannot be Broken or Cracked except with Geddon/PanelShot, cannot be Burrowed into.
• Elec attacks: +100% Source Damage.
• 100 Damage Aqua attacks: Change terrain hit to Cracked.
• 100 Damage Fire attacks: Change terrain hit to Furnace.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Break.

Room is large and circular, about two movements in length across, with low consoles on the outer edge. A large column sits in the centre, partially obscuring view.

The floor, parts of the walls, all of the consoles and the central column are all sprouting a large volume of wires and cables that wave and lash about wildly, about two feet in length. These slow down movement and impair dodges slightly, but have no other averse effects.

-=Glitch Record=-
(New glitches will be marked in bold)

Dead Still (Negative Glitch): The victim suffers a permanent Hold effect, preventing movement. Teleports and other forms of forced movement still work. The victim loses all feeling and sensation from the middle down, and loses the ability to stand upright. Glitch lasts 2 turns, or removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Pain Catalyst (Negative Glitch)(Catalytic Glitch): The victim suffers immediate damage equal to twenty percent of their current hit points, as well as a temporary debilitating effect, randomly determined, and taking effect immediately upon application. This effect lasts only until the end of the turn. At the end of the turn, the Glitch checks for any Mutable Glitches in the victim's system. If none are present, the glitch is dispelled. If a Mutable Glitch is present this glitch interacts with that one, and creates a new, long-term glitch of a related nature to one or the other, or both. If the Mutable Glitch and the Catalytic Glitch are of different natures (Positive, Negative, Balance), the new form will be either Balance, or the nature of the Catalytic Glitch. If multiple Mutable Glitches exist, one is randomly selected. Glitch lasts only for the turn that it is applied.

Transparent Armour (Balance Glitch)(Mutable Glitch): The victim's armour, including cloth, leather and metal clothing as well as casings, but not including barriers or wielded shields, turns transparent and looks glassy or ethereal. This has not negative impact on its protective capabilities. This glitch can be affected by other glitches. Lasts until combat ends, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Razor-glass Armour (Negative Glitch): The victim suffers a conflict that causes the forming of defences or other protective measures to harm them in the process. Any time the victim creates a defence or assumes a protective body effect, they immediately take 10 null damage which cannot be reduced. Glitch lasts until combat ends, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Chip Limiter (Negative Glitch): Part of the victim's processing space for handling and processing battle Chips has become corrupted and no longer functional. As a result, No more than 2 battle chips can be used per turn. This glitch has no effect on carriers or targets that cannot access battle chips. Lasts 2 turns, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Charge Limiter (Negative Glitch): The victim cannot charge their buster at all, and cannot use any signature abilities or chips that require buster charges. This also blocks signatures with the Charge Burner nerf. This Glitch has no effect on victims who do not possess a normal Buster. Lasts two turns, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

SAS Wild (Balance Glitch): The victim suffers random instances of Sig Chill and Sig Burn each turn. Each turn, two of the victim's signatures will gain an additional turn of cool down, or be forced onto cool down as though they had been used, and they will receive two instances of Sig Chill to allocate to signatures already on cooldown. SPs with this glitch may allocate their Sig Chill to their navi, though the Sig Burn aspect will only take effect on signatures customised for the SP specifically. All instances of Sig Chill and Sig Burn created by this glitch may stack with each other on the same signature, increasing or decreasing the active cool down appropriately. Lasts two turns, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Auto-Custom (Balance Glitch): The victim's navi customiser automatically re-purposes itself; they lose 40 points worth of NC space, but each turn may reduce one of their active signatures on cooldown by one turn, as per the Custom+1 NCP. Lost NC space may result in the deactivation of other NC parts – the victim may choose which ones if so. This glitch has no effect on viruses or Support Programs, who simply act as carriers. Glitch lasts two turns, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Buster Crasher (Negative Glitch): The victim suffers a short duration Buster Crash, as per the effect. Lasts two turns, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.

Torrent cowered under Haywire’s flailing hooves, fortunate enough to be crouching exactly where they didn’t pass. As she got to her feet, fighting away the tangling briars, the horse circled the room for another pass, but crashed to the floor when its legs locked underneath it. It thrashed and bit wildy, scrambling in a deranged manner.

Torrent breathed heavily, the edge of her fear replaced with uncertainty. Despite how frightening the beast was... she felt a bit sorry for the poor creature, obviously suffering from some unseen pandemic.

“Hippie…” Torrent spoke, her voice laced with uncertainty.

<<...Yeah…>> Torrent could hear that Hippie was also having second thoughts about killing the creature.

“I know we need to stop it to fix the robot, but…”

<<...But it feels like we’re putting down a sick horse…>>

Torrent recalled her fight with the deranged lunatic DarkSpiritZero, and how she’d come very close to killing him. It just didn’t feel right killing someone obviously in need of help.

<<Hold on, I’ll think of something… Some way to get it out…>>

The horse thrashed and snarled, it’s body rippling and steaming as glitches continued to multiply within it. It came to a halt and faced her again. Torrent edged toward the room’s central column, the only piece of cover that could potentially halt a deranged charge. The field of wires wiggled in her way, and she sliced at them as she went.

The horse was staring at her, its head bowed for another charge. Its eyes flickered wildly, sometimes soft and scared, sometimes cold hard pinpricks or waving madly in all directions. Torrent started. The horse had spoken when it came into the room. Maybe…

“I, uh, can’t help noticing you’re having a r-rough time right now.” She called to the horse, fighting to keep her teeth from chattering. “Is… is something wrong?” She swallowed. “Um, I’m Torrent, by the way.” She prepared to dive behind the column should the beast take another charge at her.


---TORRENT'S TURN SUMMARY---

[1]: Surreptitious Sidle (Movement -> Towards the opposite side of the column)

[2]: Rageclaw (40dmg + Slashing, B)-> Hay Field around Torrent

[3]: Dive for Cover (Dodge)


[Cooling] Hydro Power, Ready Next Turn!

While her adversary seemed to struggle under the unfortunate ill effects of its own glitches, Torrent debated her course of action. It did seem to be suffering, but the mad violence in its body language hadn't subsided, even as it had scrambled to its feet. It stamped a hoof, then reared slightly and stamped both fore hooves on the metal harder before biting down and tearing off more of the waving cables with its teeth.

“No food! Consume All! Break! Break and Consume! Hunger!! Broken and Hungry!!” As Torrent crept closer, it whinnied again, tossing its mechanical mane and throwing its head as another series of static cracks and magnetic reverberations resounded through the chamber. Steam poured off its flanks as its inner workings shifted. Its blurring image grew a little clearer, though it was hard to tell if that was because she was getting closer, or if the distortion had decreased.

As Torrent tried to cut away some of the remaining wires and tendrils around the creature, it snorted and faced her directly again, twisting with a small jump to slam its hooves at her in a more overtly threatening manner.

“Food! Not Food! Lies! Eat Lies!! Consume Hunger!!” Another echoing blast of electromagnetic sounds deafened torrent for a brief moment, but even as she dived for cover, the waving cables and vines she threw herself into arched back, then whipped forward to snake and grip around her limbs and her body more firmly. A moment of struggling confirmed it as Torrent was left restrained in an awkward-looking half-diving spread-eagle, locked in place by the cables. She could feel the crackle of errant data signals shooting through them and breaking off, and bits and pieces of broken code started to infiltrate her own body, despite her existing defences.

At first there was just the sensation of being held and restrained; locked don even more firmly than the cables themselves were holding onto her, but then after another moment, the feeling of paralysis faded away again and her limbs loosened. There was something aberrant that had gotten into her, that much she could be sure of... but as the glitch settled, it felt kind of good, in an odd way.

A glance back at the horse behind her showed the beast with its head lowered, scraping one hoof across the ground beneath it in an action more reminiscent of a bull than a horse. Most of the distortion had faded away now, and it seemed stronger, more confident and more determined than it had before; mechanical sounds revved and fired from within its workings with a more healthy vigour as it prepared to come at her. Flashes of a program name and extension flickered briefly in the distorted air around it, clearer to read now that most of the blur had faded.

-=Hungry Horse=-
HayWyre.CHK: 240Hp [Casing (10Hp)][1-hit Shield][Strengthen: 40][Floating Point (2): 4% increased miss chance][Charge: 2][Glitches: Transparent Armour(-), Auto-Custom(1)] [Metal, behind torrent]

-=Proggy Protector=-
Torrent.Exe: 120Hp [Barrier (50Hp): Counter Set][Glitches: Stability Cascade(Tier 1)(-)][Metal]

-=Hay-field Havoc=-
100% Metal

• Cannot be Broken or Cracked except with Geddon/PanelShot, cannot be Burrowed into.
• Elec attacks: +100% Source Damage.
• 100 Damage Aqua attacks: Change terrain hit to Cracked.
• 100 Damage Fire attacks: Change terrain hit to Furnace.
• PanelShot: Imbue Elec + Break.

Room is large and circular, about two movements in length across, with low consoles on the outer edge. A large column sits in the centre, partially obscuring view.

The floor, parts of the walls, all of the consoles and the central column are all sprouting a large volume of wires and cables that wave and lash about wildly, about two feet in length. These slow down movement and impair dodges slightly, but have no other averse effects.

-=Glitch Record=-
(New glitches will be marked in bold)

Stability Cascade (Positive Glitch)(Mutable Glitch): The victim regains 1 Hp at the beginning of each of their turns, and sheds one negative status ailment at the end of each of their turns. This glitch is highly mutable and prone to increasing in severity; it has a chance to do so any time any of its effects occur. It can grow up to five stages. At second stage, the healing pulse increases to 5 Hp. At third stage, the shedding of status ailments becomes a free action status cure that the victim can use once per turn. At third stage, the pulse also restores Hp to any active barriers or casings as well. At 4th stage, the victim becomes immune to most status ailments (and retains the status cure ability). At 5th stage, the pulse becomes Regen (5), occurring once per action of the victim (restoration of defences still only happens once per turn). Glitch lasts until combat ends, or until removed with Status Cure, Glitch Eater or other similar effect.