A Philanthropic Mission

Hello, good people of the GNA! This is Burt J. Blanchard, operator of Exorcist.EXE and senior proponent of Counterinfectualism. I'm here requesting a mission that will allow a friend of mine to get a support program base. I myself will take good ol' cash, if that's alright~

What are our talents? What AREN'T our talents would be a better question! My navi can fight, advertise, and give any heterosexual male a woody just by smiling at them! We're fit for just about anything.

My friend, SharpMan... I'm not really sure what he's good at! We'll find out. Also, I've got to take care of my niece and nephew at some point, so let's try to get a fairly speedy mission, okay?

~Burt J. Blanchard
Mister Blanchard, please refrain from making overly sexual remarks on this public forum. You will note that you have received one (1) warn marker on your account. Further infractions could harm your ability to use the mission BBS, so please attempt to keep things clean and civil.

As for your mission request-- we would prefer it if your partner also posted here, for recordkeeping purposes, but regardless we have found a mission that should suit.

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Hey there GeeNA! I've found myself in a bit of a bind! Y'see, I've got these nice net-herbs that I've been growin' over here, and they're bein' harrassed by viruses!

...And the viruses look kinda weird, too! Send help when you can?

If you are willing to take this mission, respond in the affirmative and we will relinquish the coordinates for your rendezvous with mister...



Please reply shortly.

((Moderator: Twi))
I am hurt, personally hurt! I thought it was in the best interests of all involved that I describe the full capabilities of my navi, including all of her talents, skills, and assets. It would be negligent of me not to mention her ability to arouse physiological symptoms of intrigue in the male anatomy!

That said, I'm happy to take the mission~

Sounds dull as corn, though!

~Burt J. Blanchard
Thank you for accepting this request.


[A location in the southern parts of Netopia Net.]
My apologies for not posting previously. I simply felt it was redundant to do so. We investigated at Corn's request, and discovered a gigantic Spikey wrecking his fields. It has been permanently dealt with, and its offspring have been transferred to DNN's virus zoo. In addition we located an egg from the newly dead Spikey, and currently have it in our custody, as it contained no traces of virus data. Thus, my Navi and I consider it possible that they were not actually viruses, but perhaps something else entirely.

And, if I may speak off the record, yes, we defeated a giant dog virus that not only had children, but laid eggs. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

- Hector Guerrero
My navi and that guy we got to work with us accomplished everything expected of us! I'll take my cash, please!

~Burt J. Blanchard
Burt: We have received a confirmation from Corn. Here you are.


Hector: Please upload this "egg". We wish to scan it before we take further action.
As you wish.

- Hector Guerrero
ATTACHMENT: Mysterious Egg
Well... after some scanning and analysis, we have discovered something truly out of the ordinary inside this egg you've brought us.

It is, apparently, a "naturally" formed Support Program base. It doesn't adhere to our standard code format, but functionally it works exactly the same. This one has even been "nourished" a bit, it seems.

While we're uncertain of what would "hatch" out of this egg, it is likely that it would retain at least some traits from its' source. So as a bonus to you, we will offer you a choice.

We can either format this egg so it will work properly as a support program-- complete with some nourishment already ingrained-- with the limitation of it bearing at least some traits of its' former parent, or we can keep the egg and offer you a completely raw support program, with its' traits fully customizable by you as is the norm. Our researchers are fairly certain that you would have some degree of customization with the egg, if you chose that route, but it would not be entirely up to you.

If you do not like the idea of keeping the egg, however, we will recompensate you if you will allow us to keep it for research. The choice is yours.
Interesting...after talking it over with my Navi, we'll take the first option.

- Hector Guerrero
Very well.

Attached: EggProg.SP