"Another successful battle, but it doesn't appear that we're any closer to finding that compound. I don't think that the viruses bizarre grin could be attributed to anything like experiencing love," Phero noted, crossing her arms beneath her breast and pondering. "It's an odd combination of effects, though. I wonder what would have happened if we'd waited?"
"Irrelevant. If it's not 'love' I'm not interested," Dharma yawned, then spun in her chair to face Phillip. She crossed one leg over the other, then leaned her head onto one fist. "Now, state your business, Phillip. I'm very busy."
"Yes, Lady President. I have a report on the latest pheromone production. New compounds are being produced at a terrific rate, but again, I have to wonder just how necessary all of this is," the stiff man muttered, seeming even stiffer than usual as he tried to work cricks out of his shoulder. He didn't want to look any more needy of the conversation than Dharma did, but it was hard to look that apathetic, especially for a guy like him.
Dharma's eyebrows lowered irritably, but otherwise her position stayed mostly the same. "Phillip, would I have asked your team to develop these compounds if it was unnecessary? Please simply use the following rule to determine the validity: if I asked you to do it, it's what you should be doing. Are we clear?" she demanded. Seeing Phillip's obedient nod still accompanied by his unwavering frown, she sighed and adjusted her sitting position. "Well, Phillip? What is the cause of your concern?"
"I apologize, Lady President, it's just that-" he started, but was interrupted as Dharma rudely turned back to her PET and began speaking to her navi again.
"Phero, release more of the pheromones. We need more hits on viruses... Greater numbers, if possible. The wider the sample pool, the easier it will be to collect results," she explained, pressing her pen against her lower lip.
Nodding, Phero continued releasing a light but steady, nice-smelling scent from her pores while looking for more viruses to test her compounds on.
((Ready for Battle 3))
Pheromone Test Exercise #1
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With yet more mysterious and ambiguous compounds to test out on behalf of her Operator, she came upon some new viruses, particularly specialized in artillery. Two stationary turret-based Canodumb viruses were accompanied left and right by two mobile bombardment-based Kabutanks, which were all but dying to test their compounds on Phero.
-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: 50 HP
Canodumb B: 50 HP
Kabutank A: 50 HP
Kabutank B: 50 HP
-- NAVIGATOR --
Phero.EXE: 95 HP
-- TERRAIN --
100% Normal
-- BATTLE 03, READY? START!! --
-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: 50 HP
Canodumb B: 50 HP
Kabutank A: 50 HP
Kabutank B: 50 HP
-- NAVIGATOR --
Phero.EXE: 95 HP
-- TERRAIN --
100% Normal
-- BATTLE 03, READY? START!! --
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"Are you ready, Phero? Your enemies won't wait for you to prepare," Dharma laughed, watching as Phero reeled in surprise at the growing number of enemies.
The navi activated her flower field and then stood warily, looking over the four viruses. It wasn't hard to predict how they'd attack, seeing as two were giant cannons and the others also had long, protruding cannons on their faces. She figured she could make her chances better by turning them against each other. "Dharma, please load me some of that stock compound, if you would. I'm going to see if we can confuse them into fighting each other, perhaps," she requested.
Dharma sneered, then loaded the compound with another new one behind it. "I'm not one for recycling, Phero. Seeing past failed experiments brought back out into my sight does nothing but agitate me," she growled, then pressed one hand over her mouth. After a bit of contemplation, she revealed another smile. "But how is it for you, I wonder? Are you asking me to load in more because you like the pleasure of releasing them? Dirty girl, Phero~" she cooed, laughing in plain sight of Phillip, who grew ever more irritated waiting for his turn to speak.
The navi shook her head defensively. "I'm not thinking of something that lewd right now, Dharma. I just want to improve my situation," she retorted, accepting the compounds. She couldn't help but feel a little anxious, however. The sensation of releasing one compound was already pretty stimulating, so the thought of two at once...
Before she had time to agonize over it any more, she loaded them both up and let them out in a fine mist. "Nnngh.... ah..." she muttered, biting one finger as they seeped out and headed towards their targets.
"Hahaha! You look like you're about to climax, Phero!" Dharma guffawed, ungracefully banging her fist against the table with laughter. "What a naughty girl!" Phillip went into a coughing fit and pressed his head against one of the couch pillows to stifle it.
"It's cruel to design me this way and then make fun of me," Phero complained, crossing her arms and flushing red. To take her mind off of it, she summoned up a shotgun and took aim at the kabutanks. She fired off a sloppy shot, trying to toast the viruses before they could take any actions against her. She finished up by protecting herself with the guard that Dharma had slotted through to her.
*) Activate SetGrass [Create large area grass terrain]
*) Hack @ CanodumbA [Glitch]
1) Crazy Gas @ Canodumb B [Confusion ground attack, 15 HP sacrifice]
2) Shotgun @ KabutankA [50 shot attack + spread]
3) Guard1 up [1 hit shield + reflect]
The navi activated her flower field and then stood warily, looking over the four viruses. It wasn't hard to predict how they'd attack, seeing as two were giant cannons and the others also had long, protruding cannons on their faces. She figured she could make her chances better by turning them against each other. "Dharma, please load me some of that stock compound, if you would. I'm going to see if we can confuse them into fighting each other, perhaps," she requested.
Dharma sneered, then loaded the compound with another new one behind it. "I'm not one for recycling, Phero. Seeing past failed experiments brought back out into my sight does nothing but agitate me," she growled, then pressed one hand over her mouth. After a bit of contemplation, she revealed another smile. "But how is it for you, I wonder? Are you asking me to load in more because you like the pleasure of releasing them? Dirty girl, Phero~" she cooed, laughing in plain sight of Phillip, who grew ever more irritated waiting for his turn to speak.
The navi shook her head defensively. "I'm not thinking of something that lewd right now, Dharma. I just want to improve my situation," she retorted, accepting the compounds. She couldn't help but feel a little anxious, however. The sensation of releasing one compound was already pretty stimulating, so the thought of two at once...
Before she had time to agonize over it any more, she loaded them both up and let them out in a fine mist. "Nnngh.... ah..." she muttered, biting one finger as they seeped out and headed towards their targets.
"Hahaha! You look like you're about to climax, Phero!" Dharma guffawed, ungracefully banging her fist against the table with laughter. "What a naughty girl!" Phillip went into a coughing fit and pressed his head against one of the couch pillows to stifle it.
"It's cruel to design me this way and then make fun of me," Phero complained, crossing her arms and flushing red. To take her mind off of it, she summoned up a shotgun and took aim at the kabutanks. She fired off a sloppy shot, trying to toast the viruses before they could take any actions against her. She finished up by protecting herself with the guard that Dharma had slotted through to her.
*) Activate SetGrass [Create large area grass terrain]
*) Hack @ CanodumbA [Glitch]
1) Crazy Gas @ Canodumb B [Confusion ground attack, 15 HP sacrifice]
2) Shotgun @ KabutankA [50 shot attack + spread]
3) Guard1 up [1 hit shield + reflect]
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Spreading her usual flowery field, Phero got to work spreading her chemical cocktails around. Her first set caused the Canodumb to go haywire, and break down for a moment. The other batch wasn't going anywhere, though, since she had accidentally let out the mist of compounds in a different direction in her stupor. Anyway, after that, she pulled out a Shotgun and blasted a Kabutank to pieces. She then pulled up a Guard to defend against attacks. It really wasn't all very necessary, though, since the Kabutank's bombing was extremely inaccurate and the Canodumbs were pulling themselves together to take aim.
-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: 50 HP [Stunned!]
Canodumb B: 50 HP
Kabutank A: DELETED
Kabutank B: 50 HP
-- NAVIGATOR --
Phero.EXE: 95 HP (Guard1)
-- TERRAIN --
45% Normal
5% Cracked
50% Grass
-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: 50 HP [Stunned!]
Canodumb B: 50 HP
Kabutank A: DELETED
Kabutank B: 50 HP
-- NAVIGATOR --
Phero.EXE: 95 HP (Guard1)
-- TERRAIN --
45% Normal
5% Cracked
50% Grass
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Phero was pleased to see that her pheromones were having some positive effect towards the battle. Still, she knew that there was no chance that Dharma would have any praise for her; malfunctioning machines didn't really tie in to inducing fondness or romantic feelings. "Well, it can still be a personal victory," she reasoned, giving herself a mental pat on the back.
Sure enough, Dharma's face betrayed no sense of satisfaction. "Hm, this battle is incompetency all around, huh Phero? You're lucky to have such brainless opponents," she yawned, slotting through heatshot, rageclaw, and icecube. "Test another compound and then finish up."
Nodding, Phero accepted her chips and got ready to release a new compound. Determined not to give Dharma the satisfaction of watching her reaction towards releasing the pheromones, the navi held her face as still as possible, keeping her usual frown as she squeezed her hand-plungers. Clouds of the untested pheromone released into the air, heading towards the enemy Kabutank. She smiled, thinking that she'd completely hidden the physical sensation of releasing the gas this time.
"Hm hm hm! Look, Phillip. You can still see the flesh at her thighs quivering, can't you? It's so priceless," Dharma chuckled, resting her cheek on one fist while Phillip went into another coughing fit. Truth be told, Phero hadn't been shaking at all until she said that; as if on queue, her legs started shaking upon hearing her operator's observation.
Trying to calm her extremities, Phero closed her eyes and readied her heatshot. It felt highly counter-intuitive to set out a field of beautiful flowers and then burn them as fuel for dangerous fires, but it might be an effective strategy. She pointed one arm out towards the cannons, then released a spurt of liquid perfume using one of her plungers. As the liquid flew forward, she released a miniature flame-thrower from the outstretched hand, which lit the liquids and turned the limited-reach liquid into a long-range weapon.
While watching her newly created fire shoot through the air, she brought down another tremendous block of ice to use against the Kabutank. With some amount of effort, she used her rageclaw and the strength of her legs to lift the massive object up above her head, then hurl it towards the Kabutank. On one hand, she realized that if her pheromones had been effective in some fashion, this attack's success would mean that there wasn't much time to record the effects. On the other hand, she wasn't so personally interested in the results as preserving her own health.
*) Hack @ Kabutank B
1) Heatshot @ Canodumb A and B [40 fire shot, A accuracy + spread 1]
2) Summon IceCube [100 HP]
3) Rageclaw throw IceCube @ Kabutank B [100 thrown + impact]
Sure enough, Dharma's face betrayed no sense of satisfaction. "Hm, this battle is incompetency all around, huh Phero? You're lucky to have such brainless opponents," she yawned, slotting through heatshot, rageclaw, and icecube. "Test another compound and then finish up."
Nodding, Phero accepted her chips and got ready to release a new compound. Determined not to give Dharma the satisfaction of watching her reaction towards releasing the pheromones, the navi held her face as still as possible, keeping her usual frown as she squeezed her hand-plungers. Clouds of the untested pheromone released into the air, heading towards the enemy Kabutank. She smiled, thinking that she'd completely hidden the physical sensation of releasing the gas this time.
"Hm hm hm! Look, Phillip. You can still see the flesh at her thighs quivering, can't you? It's so priceless," Dharma chuckled, resting her cheek on one fist while Phillip went into another coughing fit. Truth be told, Phero hadn't been shaking at all until she said that; as if on queue, her legs started shaking upon hearing her operator's observation.
Trying to calm her extremities, Phero closed her eyes and readied her heatshot. It felt highly counter-intuitive to set out a field of beautiful flowers and then burn them as fuel for dangerous fires, but it might be an effective strategy. She pointed one arm out towards the cannons, then released a spurt of liquid perfume using one of her plungers. As the liquid flew forward, she released a miniature flame-thrower from the outstretched hand, which lit the liquids and turned the limited-reach liquid into a long-range weapon.
While watching her newly created fire shoot through the air, she brought down another tremendous block of ice to use against the Kabutank. With some amount of effort, she used her rageclaw and the strength of her legs to lift the massive object up above her head, then hurl it towards the Kabutank. On one hand, she realized that if her pheromones had been effective in some fashion, this attack's success would mean that there wasn't much time to record the effects. On the other hand, she wasn't so personally interested in the results as preserving her own health.
*) Hack @ Kabutank B
1) Heatshot @ Canodumb A and B [40 fire shot, A accuracy + spread 1]
2) Summon IceCube [100 HP]
3) Rageclaw throw IceCube @ Kabutank B [100 thrown + impact]
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Sensing her chance, Phero launched a HeatShot at the Canodumb!...Unfortunately, sometimes the hardest viruses to hit were the ones that just stood there, and such was the case as the fired fire sailed wide left, no chance of hitting anything. Undeterred, she created an IceCube and tossed it at the other virus, but more on that in a moment...
At first, the bug seemed to do absolutely nothing. After being given a moment, however, hair extended from the sides of its horn to form a thick, luxurious mustache. Stylish. It seemed to like it, but wanted to see what it looked like. Where were mirrors when you needed them...ah, there was one, drawing near. It turned slightly, but oddly made no effort to avoid the attack, content to gaze at its own reflection in the ice as it crashed into it. But hey, it went out in STYLE.
Oh, and the other Canodumb fired a shot at Phero, but Guard bounced it back. Less stylish, but more pain for it and less pain for her was always good.
-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: 50 HP (Phero located)
Canodumb B: 30 HP
Kabutank A: DELETED
Kabutank B: DELETED
-- NAVIGATOR --
Phero.EXE: 95 HP
-- TERRAIN --
45% Normal
5% Cracked
50% Grass
At first, the bug seemed to do absolutely nothing. After being given a moment, however, hair extended from the sides of its horn to form a thick, luxurious mustache. Stylish. It seemed to like it, but wanted to see what it looked like. Where were mirrors when you needed them...ah, there was one, drawing near. It turned slightly, but oddly made no effort to avoid the attack, content to gaze at its own reflection in the ice as it crashed into it. But hey, it went out in STYLE.
Oh, and the other Canodumb fired a shot at Phero, but Guard bounced it back. Less stylish, but more pain for it and less pain for her was always good.
-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: 50 HP (Phero located)
Canodumb B: 30 HP
Kabutank A: DELETED
Kabutank B: DELETED
-- NAVIGATOR --
Phero.EXE: 95 HP
-- TERRAIN --
45% Normal
5% Cracked
50% Grass
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Dharma growled in frustration. Mustache-growth was another useless dead-end; she'd feel happier if the effects were becoming anything closer to arousal at all. "Phero, is it possible that you're using the pheromones wrong, somehow?" she grumbled, clutching her head with one hand. "I refuse to believe that my greatest research team sent up such a shoddy, fruitless batch of pheromones as priority one tests."
"I'm not sure that the V0006 compound was entirely useless. The virus was drawn into vanity, after all. Self-admiration is still a form of admiration," Phero suggested, speaking as seriously as she could in the defense of a chemical compound that causes viruses to grow facial hair.
"Useless. If it was just vanity, maybe it'd work out. But there's no way we're going to market a love serum that turns men into Sasquatches!" Dharma groaned, turning away from the PET screen and twirling her pen idly.
"Sasquatches...? I take it you don't like mustaches," she murmured, then looked back at the viruses she was supposed to be finishing up. "Let's test another compound. That ought to cheer you up," the navi offered, waiting to load another pheromone solution.
"If this goes anything like the last one, don't count on it. Maybe we'll grow them some full, dignified cannon-beards? Perhaps we'll cure cannon baldness!" she laughed, keeping her attention on the pen. Phillip remained totally ignored as he tried to cough for her attention. Of course, Phillip coughing was about as uncommon as most people's breathing, so it was easy for her to phase out.
Optimistic all the same, Phero shivered and released another gaseous, invisible fume that drifted towards the cannons. "Well, I've only got one weapon left. I suppose there's nothing to do now but use it," she gulped. Experimentally, she tried stepping a little to the left. The cannon's nozzle seemed to be following her. "It looks like the sooner I destroy those things, the better..."
Moving in with unpracticed steps, she hurled herself headlong at the viruses. With speed but little focus, she tried to shred the cannons apart with her oversized, unfitting bear claw. She grunted like a child, flailing her arm back and forth between the two.
Dharma couldn't help but wish that there was some music or something to listen to while she virus busted, just so she didn't have to listen to the grating sounds of her navi's battle ineptitude. "This is pathetic," she murmured, turning on a track from her PET's musical selection and placing in earbuds. Phillip swore silently, fantasizing about walking up and ripping them from her ears.
*) Hack Canodumb A
1) Rageclaw Canodumb A [40 melee damage, B accuracy + slashing]
2) Rageclaw Canodumb A [40 melee damage, B accuracy + slashing]
3) Rageclaw Canodumb B [40 melee damage, B accuracy + slashing]
"I'm not sure that the V0006 compound was entirely useless. The virus was drawn into vanity, after all. Self-admiration is still a form of admiration," Phero suggested, speaking as seriously as she could in the defense of a chemical compound that causes viruses to grow facial hair.
"Useless. If it was just vanity, maybe it'd work out. But there's no way we're going to market a love serum that turns men into Sasquatches!" Dharma groaned, turning away from the PET screen and twirling her pen idly.
"Sasquatches...? I take it you don't like mustaches," she murmured, then looked back at the viruses she was supposed to be finishing up. "Let's test another compound. That ought to cheer you up," the navi offered, waiting to load another pheromone solution.
"If this goes anything like the last one, don't count on it. Maybe we'll grow them some full, dignified cannon-beards? Perhaps we'll cure cannon baldness!" she laughed, keeping her attention on the pen. Phillip remained totally ignored as he tried to cough for her attention. Of course, Phillip coughing was about as uncommon as most people's breathing, so it was easy for her to phase out.
Optimistic all the same, Phero shivered and released another gaseous, invisible fume that drifted towards the cannons. "Well, I've only got one weapon left. I suppose there's nothing to do now but use it," she gulped. Experimentally, she tried stepping a little to the left. The cannon's nozzle seemed to be following her. "It looks like the sooner I destroy those things, the better..."
Moving in with unpracticed steps, she hurled herself headlong at the viruses. With speed but little focus, she tried to shred the cannons apart with her oversized, unfitting bear claw. She grunted like a child, flailing her arm back and forth between the two.
Dharma couldn't help but wish that there was some music or something to listen to while she virus busted, just so she didn't have to listen to the grating sounds of her navi's battle ineptitude. "This is pathetic," she murmured, turning on a track from her PET's musical selection and placing in earbuds. Phillip swore silently, fantasizing about walking up and ripping them from her ears.
*) Hack Canodumb A
1) Rageclaw Canodumb A [40 melee damage, B accuracy + slashing]
2) Rageclaw Canodumb A [40 melee damage, B accuracy + slashing]
3) Rageclaw Canodumb B [40 melee damage, B accuracy + slashing]
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As the mysterious compound drifted towards the nearby Canodumb, the turret literally began to shed its plates one by one till only its mechanical innards were shown. Either its aiming reticule was harmed during the shedding or it was suffering from massive embarrassment, its shot was completely off and gave Phero a wide chance to finish it off with her Rageclaw.
However, after focusing on one virus meant that the navi was leaving herself open for another. The wounded Canodumb on the side was able to make a clear shot at Phero's back till it was cut up by the claw shortly after.
-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: DELETED
Canodumb B: DELETED
Kabutank A: DELETED
Kabutank B: DELETED
-- NAVIGATOR --
Phero.EXE: 85 HP
-- TERRAIN --
45% Normal
5% Cracked
50% Grass
-BATTLE WON!-
320z
However, after focusing on one virus meant that the navi was leaving herself open for another. The wounded Canodumb on the side was able to make a clear shot at Phero's back till it was cut up by the claw shortly after.
-- ENEMIES --
Canodumb A: DELETED
Canodumb B: DELETED
Kabutank A: DELETED
Kabutank B: DELETED
-- NAVIGATOR --
Phero.EXE: 85 HP
-- TERRAIN --
45% Normal
5% Cracked
50% Grass
-BATTLE WON!-
320
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Phero wasn't terribly happy with the battle's outcome. The area between her shoulder-blades, where Dharma had conveniently neglected to place any armor, had been shot and the pheromone didn't seem like a success either. Between the decay of that cannon and the malfunction of an earlier one, she was starting to wonder if these chemicals were just inherently malignant to Canodumbs.
"Well, there's still other batches to try. Shall I continue, Ms. President?" Phero asked, remembering the Ms. President to hopefully increase the calming affect her words had.
Her master didn't seem terribly upset. Rather, she pressed her pen to her lower lip pensively. "No, let's not continue, Phero. Phillip here looks like he's going to soil his pants if I leave him waiting any longer. What is it, Phillip?" she asked, although she still seemed preoccupied with other thoughts.
Clearing his throat, Phillip finally handed his clipboard over to Dharma. "Madam President. As you can see, we're beginning to run out of materials for our latest batch of pheromones. We need-" he started, but then stopped, gulping as he noticed the president's angry glare. "Displeased already?" he thought to himself irritably, adjusting his tie back to a state of straightness.
"I don't need you to tell me when we need to order raw materials, Phillip. Don't you have anyone managing our inventory? Get somebody on your team to do it," she sighed.
Phillip didn't want to say what had really brought him up there to show her the inventory report. He'd come because he knew that she would be unhappy with whatever supplier they picked, no matter what research she put into it. Of course, he couldn't tell her that... but he had to. "Madam President, we were thinking that it might be best if we had your personal input on this. If you could point us to a supplier, we'd be happy to handle the ordering ourselves," he coughed.
"You want me to buy you flowers, Phillip? I'm afraid I'm not ready to apologize for mistreating you just yet," she laughed, enjoying the look of agitation on his face as her eyebrows took on their usual patronizing slant. "You're right, though. If I leave this to you all, it'll be a mess. Alright then; I'll go out and investigate suppliers personally."
"Ma'am... You're going to drive around by yourself and look at flower stores...?" he asked dubiously.
"No, you're going to drive me around to look at them. What kind of a question is that?" she chuckled, grabbing onto his neck-tie to hoist herself up. Her body rose while his fell, slamming his face glasses-first into the desk. "Whoops."
Straightening up, Phillip adjusted his glasses and remembered his paycheck. "Of course, Madam President. Let's head downstairs. Don't forget your coat," he replied, heading for the door out.
"Well, let's get you back in your hamster ball, Phero," Dharma smiled, jacking Phero out of the net.
((Jacking out))
"Well, there's still other batches to try. Shall I continue, Ms. President?" Phero asked, remembering the Ms. President to hopefully increase the calming affect her words had.
Her master didn't seem terribly upset. Rather, she pressed her pen to her lower lip pensively. "No, let's not continue, Phero. Phillip here looks like he's going to soil his pants if I leave him waiting any longer. What is it, Phillip?" she asked, although she still seemed preoccupied with other thoughts.
Clearing his throat, Phillip finally handed his clipboard over to Dharma. "Madam President. As you can see, we're beginning to run out of materials for our latest batch of pheromones. We need-" he started, but then stopped, gulping as he noticed the president's angry glare. "Displeased already?" he thought to himself irritably, adjusting his tie back to a state of straightness.
"I don't need you to tell me when we need to order raw materials, Phillip. Don't you have anyone managing our inventory? Get somebody on your team to do it," she sighed.
Phillip didn't want to say what had really brought him up there to show her the inventory report. He'd come because he knew that she would be unhappy with whatever supplier they picked, no matter what research she put into it. Of course, he couldn't tell her that... but he had to. "Madam President, we were thinking that it might be best if we had your personal input on this. If you could point us to a supplier, we'd be happy to handle the ordering ourselves," he coughed.
"You want me to buy you flowers, Phillip? I'm afraid I'm not ready to apologize for mistreating you just yet," she laughed, enjoying the look of agitation on his face as her eyebrows took on their usual patronizing slant. "You're right, though. If I leave this to you all, it'll be a mess. Alright then; I'll go out and investigate suppliers personally."
"Ma'am... You're going to drive around by yourself and look at flower stores...?" he asked dubiously.
"No, you're going to drive me around to look at them. What kind of a question is that?" she chuckled, grabbing onto his neck-tie to hoist herself up. Her body rose while his fell, slamming his face glasses-first into the desk. "Whoops."
Straightening up, Phillip adjusted his glasses and remembered his paycheck. "Of course, Madam President. Let's head downstairs. Don't forget your coat," he replied, heading for the door out.
"Well, let's get you back in your hamster ball, Phero," Dharma smiled, jacking Phero out of the net.
((Jacking out))