Breeding Center of Attention

"Time to play!"

With the gun already pointed and primed, the gun roared to life, its barrel shining violet. One of the runes on its sides lit up, depicting a blazing fire. A haggard, lethargic voice, its source obviously the gun, announced, "Mode-one."

"Playtime now!" the lunatic screamed.

Water met fire as SplashMan relegated his first attack to his rear cannons, both attacks coming together and exploding in a massive burst of haze and steam. Both SplashMan and his opponent were knocked back from the force, heavily damaged from the assault. (180, Glitch x3) SplashMan found himself now scattered with the purple bugs that had infected the Guard Navis, clawing their tentacled grip into his armor and his face and everywhere else they could.

The strange little animal beside the lunatic twitched slightly, and lifted its transmogrified stare towards SplashMan. Its mouth began to emit a screech of incredibly high-pitch as it lunged for SplashMan.

"Skreaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-"

Cut short by the CornShot, the animal was put out of its misery as its face was riddled with popcorn-holes. It fell with a pamf at his feet, face-up, still in that deadly grimace, courtesy of one Lunatic. Its eyesockets were still wide open, as if it were still alive, seeking infinity. The sockets, and the holes he had made in it, bled dark purple as it started to disintegrate.

The garbed lunatic did nothing to mourn the loss of his/her/its friend, but instead proceeded to hop around. SplashMan's opponent seemed to be slowed somewhat, however. Perhaps it was due to the force brought on from his earlier attack. The bone was thus easily dodged, with its second whirl doing nothing as well.

"Second round~! Hehehehehe!!"

The mere sound of the Lunatic's voice already seemed to affect SplashMan's psyche, causing him to falter. (Glitch) This was going to be a tough fight...

--- Opponent ---
The Lunatic: 500HP (Normal)
Effects:

[li]Twitchy Arm - Accuracy -1 (2 turns)
[li]Self-Slow (1 turn)

• Strengthen 30
  

--- You ---
SplashMan.EXE: 235HP (Normal)
Effects:

[li]Hidden Strength - Regen 3 (3 turns)
[li]Unintelligible - All talk turns to gibberish (1 turn)
[li]Nervous - Accuracy -1 (3 turns)

• Nerve Wracked - Buster Lock (1 turns)
  

--- Terrain ---

[li]30% Glitched (Centred around Lunatic)

• 70% Normal (Everywhere else)
  

Despite being there, despite witnessing everything that had occured...SplashMan had no idea what in the world just happened. He took damage, the nut he was fighting took damage, and the rabbit wound up trying to kill him before he took initiative and eliminated it with corn. Well, he had one thing to say about that. "Jelly beans and chairs!"

...What? That's not what he wanted to say at all...try that again. "Wire fences are great for keeping out large animals!" ...That wasn't it, either. Was this the effect of the purple bugs? He really didn't like the feeling of creepy crawly things, especially when he already knew they screwed things up. Now if only he could convey these thoughts to his operator...

"Gigamegaterra!" ...That was going to be one serious 'if', apparently.

"Dunno what you're talking about, but it's kinda distracting me...mind canning it for a minute?" Sabrina actually wasn't trying to be mean; she was just the only one that saw the time limit for the gibberish. It was errors 3 and 4 that were bothering her. Especially that 4th. "Oh, and do me another favor. Don't try Water Splash until I say otherwise, okay?" A silent thumbs-up from her Navi let her know that was acceptable. Now, for some chips.

'Nervous - Accuracy -1'. That didn't seem very pleasant. She needed to do something that countered that...like AreaGrab. That'd do the trick. And there was always a nice AquaSword to go with that. But that Lunatic thing was freaking her out...she should probably play it safe and send over some extra defense. So...sword and shield? That sounded familiar. "Get ready to play knight, SplashMan! Battlechip, AreaGrab! Battlechip, AquaSword! Battlechip, CurseShield! Triple slot in!"

The Aqua Navi disappeared from his position, sent to a parallel universe for a moment so he could casually walk over to his opponent's back, and reappear in the correct dimensions there. However, once he was back in the right world, he possessed a sword and shield for his personal use. Neither were conventional; the shield on his left arm was essentially a Dominerd virus, and the sword over his right hand glowed a translucent blue. But before he could lose too much of the surprise, SplashMan tried to make good use out of his water saber, delivering a pair of cuts with the blade. Neither were exactly the most focused, clean slashes he had ever performed, but at the same time, it was clear he wasn't just hacking away with no regard for whatever was or wasn't in the way of it.

Deciding not to chance getting brutalized for being overzealous, the watery fighter backed off, putting his viral shield between him and the psycho...Navi?...in front of him. There'd be other opportunities to attack, but only if he made sure he was still standing when that time came.

[Order of Turn:
1-CurseShield1 chip on SplashMan (160, blocks and counters an attack)
2-AreaGrab chip to behind The Lunatic (teleports user)
3-AquaSword chip attack on The Lunatic (80+15, Aqua, Slashing) (Aqua Boost)
4-AquaSword chip attack on The Lunatic (80+15, Aqua, Slashing) (Aqua Boost)
5-Dodge
6-Dodge]

Talking gibberish and nonsense for some time, SplashMan decided not to waste time and simply jumped into parallel dimensions. He got this awesome sword and shield, too, but he was kinda short to be a knight. Maybe a squire or something. When he got to the real dimensions once again, this guy shot his gun in the wrong direction, and he laughed, too. That made SplashMan's head kinda hurt, though. (Glitch) Made him feel like doing cartwheels. But anyway, this Lunatic guy wasn't done with just firing off like that.

"N-nyaaargh. So hard to play," said he.

And thus forth, his gun popped up an extension, which spawned a large purple glowing blade, almost identical to that of SplashMan's. He swung it backwards, and it recoiled off the AquaSword SplashMan threw in his/her/its direction. Again did SplashMan strike, but this time the lunatic simply jumped backwards and made some room for him/her/itself.

"Rrrrrround three!"

--- Opponent ---
The Lunatic: 500HP (Normal)
Effects:

[li]Twitchy Arm - Accuracy -1 (1 turns)
[li]Strengthen 60

• WideSword 2/3 Uses Left
  

--- You ---
SplashMan.EXE: 256HP (Normal)
Effects:

[li]AquaSword 1/3 Uses Left
[li]CurseShield 1/1 Hit Left
[li]Hidden Strength - Regen 3 (2 turns)
[li]Nervous - Accuracy -1 (2 turns)

• Cartwheel - Must cartwheel when moving/dodging (2 turns)
  

--- Terrain ---

[li]30% Glitched (Centred around Lunatic)

• 70% Normal (Everywhere else)
  

"...Ugh, I need to calm down..." SplashMan raised his AquaSword in front of him, watching it twitch from sheer nerves. Nerves that he didn't even physically have. On the plus side, it sounded like he could speak coherently again, which was always nice. Okay, inhale...exhale. Inhale...exhale. He couldn't actually do it, but he could imitate it to try and settle himself.

"Yep, just take a quick breather! Don't let him get to you too much!" Of course, she could say that since she was outside the world of psycho Navis. Even though it was still scary for you. "Once you're good to go, just try AquaSword again!"

Try AquaSword again? That wasn't exactly the most innovative plan ever. But it was probably better than letting it go to waste. Probably. And so, the Aqua Navi took a step forward...then took the same step back. It was weird...he suddenly had an immense urge to perform cartwheels, even though he knew it was physically impossible to do so. But, he had to. He HAD to.

"SplashMan, are you okay? You look all right, so why aren't you attacking?"

Hmm...right. That somehow gave him an idea for cartwheeling. He began charging up some water inside one of his cannons, and only one of his cannons...then, a moment later, he released it, causing him to spin violenty to his left, and much to his...delight, perhaps...it allowed him to perform aerial cartwheels, complete with a watery trail. Now that he had a new mode of transportation, SplashMan rotated his way over to one clearly deranged opponent, and...went right past him. Fortunately, he was still able to get one final water slice in before his blade shattered into wet pieces.

However, there was a problem with repeatedly using one cannon to spin around like that: he had no brakes.

"Ahhh!!! I can't stop!" And sure enough, he was spiraling out of control, continually performing cartwheels around the area. Sure, it was good for evasion, but bad for his sense of balance and direction, especially since he was occasionally landing on an outstreched hand. "Heeeelp!!"

Hmm...but, if he was using his arms to land, that might be how he could stop. And so, Sabrina slammed in a battlechip. After all, by this point, CurseShield wasn't exactly going to help any with that. "Battlechip, MachineGun2! Slot in! Nothing fancy, just shoot!"

Just shoot? Easier said than done when he was-

CLUNK.

...Sitting on his backside after falling over. Like the position he wound up in after the double barreled gun that recently formed on his hand knocked him to the side upon landing with the ground. Lovely. It was a good thing he could still open fire from that stance, or else he'd be in serious trouble. He pointed the MachineGun towards his insane foe, noticing that he was still shaking from being excessively nervous. But then again, since it already had awful accuracy, it couldn't hurt too much, could it? He decided to find out, trying his best to point the barrels at the Lunatic, and subsequently relieve their ammunition in an utter hailstorm of bullets. No point in trying to dodge right afterwards, either; he still felt like cartwheeling, and even if he/she/it tried something at that point, he wouldn't have time to get out of the way, anyway.

[Order of Turn:
1-Focus and take aim
2-AquaSword aerial cartwheel attack on The Lunatic (80+15, Aqua, Slashing) (Aqua Boost)
3-5-Dodge via watery mid-air cartwheel
6-MachineGun2 chip attack on The Lunatic (50, hits 9 times)]

"Waaaaaargh!"

The figure was taken completely by surprise when SplashMan lunged at it with an aerial cartwheel, and took a blow to the shoulder. After that, however, it had enough sense to whip around and nail SplashMan on the back with the side of its gun. Strangely enough, the blow didn't seem to hurt him at all. However, he did feel a slight pain in his chest...

"Not getting away!" the figure shrieked.

It started flinging around the WideSword wildly, but didn't hit a single thing in its swipes. Getting angry, it started throwing incoherent curses instead, but got its answer in the form of two large machinegun shells. Ouch, that had to hurt.

"WW91IGYqY2tpbmcgaWRpb3RzaGl0ZGFtbiBhc3N0YXJkZWQgYml0Y2hxdWFja2VyISE=!!!!!"

Somehow, hearing the lunatic's incoherent insults made SplashMan's head hurt even more, like he was being stabbed repeatedly with a few hundred pins and needles in the head. After that it seemed like the pointy things were everywhere, pricking him at once with their prickly pricks. He also felt weaker somehow, like his vitality was being drained away.

--- Opponent ---
The Lunatic: 305HP (Normal)
Effects:

• Strengthen 90
  

--- You ---
SplashMan.EXE: 274HP (Normal)
Effects:

[li]CurseShield 1/1 Hit Left
[li]Hidden Strength - Regen 3 (1 turns)
[li]Nervous - Accuracy -1 (1 turns)
[li]Cartwheel - Must cartwheel when moving/dodging (1 turns)
[li]Undershirt/HP+50 Uninstalled
[li]Doubleslow (1 Turn)

• Pointy Paranoia - Illusion [Surrounded by pins and needles] (1 turn)
  

--- Terrain ---

[li]30% Glitched (Centred around Lunatic)

• 70% Normal (Everywhere else)
  

No matter how hard he tried to do otherwise, SplashMan just couldn't get that random gibberish out of his head. Even worse, somehow they caused all those sharp, pointy needles to show up on the ground. Not good. "Great, now I can't even air cartwheel around...one of those to the hand would send me headfirst into them..." Not that he was even sure he could right now. He felt like the water inside him had turned to solid metal.

Sabrina was decidedly more suspicious of the pins and needles that 'suddenly' appeared. But she could see them, and her PET wasn't giving her any abnormal readings. So they were most likely real. "Okay, so...you can't go anywhere, and any of your attacks are probably not going to be a great example of accuracy. Awesome." He couldn't move, and he couldn't really attack. What else could they do? ...Although..."You know, just stating the obvious, but your opponent's a psycho."

"Yeah...please don't tell me you're just noticing that..."

"I'm not done! According to the PET glitch readings, all your glitches end pretty soon. So if we can stall him until then, you can go full force!"

"Easier said than done, though..." Ugh, even his speech was slowing down.

"True, but I can help you out with that, at least!" SplashMan had a shield...so naturally, two shields should be better. "Battlechip, IronShield! Slot in!"

As the Dominerd on his left arm remained steadfast in its protection of its summoner, a larger, heavier shield formed on the aquatic Navi's right extremity, giving him extra protection against the likely ensuing assault. But, he hated the idea of just defending. Even like this, he could do something to further counter the attacks on his Naviage. The cannons on his back began to charge themselves with water; both of them, as opposed to just the single one needed for air cartwheels. But while it was only a few moments for them to be fully ready, he didn't shoot. Instead, he prepared himself to use his shields to block (and in CurseShield's case, counterattack) whatever insanity his appropriately named enemy had prepared for him. Only when any frenzy was over would he lower the artillery and release the powerful twin streams of water. Sure, like Sabrina said, his aim wouldn't be what it was normally, but there wasn't any obvious harm in letting an attack just go to waste like that, especially when it wouldn't be long before it became reusable...was there? ...Nah, probably not.

[Order of Turn:
1-IronShield1 chip on SplashMan (creates 2-hit shield)
2-Stand behind shields
3-Stand behind shields/dodge in place if shields is broken
4-Stand behind shields/dodge in place if shields is broken
5-Stand behind shields/dodge in place if shields is broken
5a-Reserve Tank L (passive buster charge)
5b-Reserve Tank R (passive buster charge)
6-Water Splash charge attack on The Lunatic (200, Aqua, Spread 1)]

Lifting double defenses around himself, SplashMan sat behind the shields to wait for the lunatic program's attacks. However, at first, it seemed like his opponent wasn't going to attack at all. Instead, the deranged Navi sat down, and began to lick (or perhaps bite?) its wounds. It seemed to talk to itself, muttering about things being much easier in the old days, and how messed up things had gotten. Perhaps it was reminiscing about something?

"It's not that we do not care, yes? It's just that we want to play, but these hurt, hurt us. So we want to hurt you too, punish you. Killed our Fluffy, you did. Killed it, killed it!"

So it did have some semblance of feeling for the little bunny. Didn't matter now, as the lunatic began to make some strange noises, like it had something in its throat. After a while, the teeth SplashMan saw earlier opened wider than he could imagine, and out spewed a torrent of sickly dark yellow, along with what seemed like large chunks of something. What was weirder was that the unreal cyberpuke was directed straight into the lunatic's gun, causing it to overflow everywhere.

Ew.

Anyway, the vomit caused the gun to emit a strange whir of sorts, and the same voice from before announced, "Rapid-fire." The huge gun was lifted from the ground, and the lunatic cackled maniacally as it began to storm SplashMan with a barrage of puke-infested explosive shells. The shields SplashMan put up barely held up to the incredible hailstorm of bio-enhanced fire, and let one of the shells through. Besides being absolutely gross, it also made him feel really, really angry for some reason. He felt like tearing things to bits. (50)

Lowering the cannons, he fired on the Navi in front of him, causing the deranged program to be blasted backwards in a flood of highly-pressurized water. The assault was increased even further when the Dominerd he had held up warped up to the lunatic and gave it a nice chomping.

--- Opponent ---
The Lunatic: 95HP (Glitched)
Effects:

• Strengthen 120
  

--- You ---
SplashMan.EXE: 292HP (Normal)
Effects:

[li]Undershirt/HP+50 Uninstalled
[li]Aggression - Attacks fail if less than 3 attacks a turn (2 turns)

• Berserker - Dodge +2, Accuracy -2 (3 turns)
  

--- Terrain ---

[li]30% Glitched (Centred around Lunatic)

• 70% Normal (Everywhere else)
  

...Did he just shoot his own barf at him? Did he, in his 'infinite wisdom', just attack him by throwing up on him? He had already killed so many others, he had the nerve to get upset over him shooting the rabbit, and now he was just puking on him?! That was the very, VERY LAST STRAW. Everything seemed to go red as his gaze focused completely on the psychotic Navi in front of him. That...THING had to be ended sooner rather than later. "You! Get ready to meet your source file!"

And that...was some serious anger. Sabrina hadn't ever really seen it from SplashMan before. Usually he was fairly calm. Easily excitable, but calm. If that made any sense. "SplashMan? You okay?"

"No! That thing's still kicking!" The Aqua Navi pointed an angry finger at his psycho enemy, trembling from his sheer anger. ...The finger, that was. The psycho enemy appeared to be fine.

"O-Okay..." Any fear she had at the start of the battle was now replaced with confusion and a general inner feeling of weirdness. "I guess we'll just work on finishing this guy off. One good hit should do it!" The problem was getting in that hit...everything was all set up for miss after miss after miss. Oh well, had to try anyway. "He'll probably expect something like Water Splash, so let's do something a little different! Battlechip, AquaDragon! Slot in!"

While still seething, SplashMan decided not to object, so long as the ensuing WaterDragon satisfied his inner rage. And at first, it seemed like the complete opposite was going to happen, as absolutely nothing seemed to be happening. But somewhere nearby, a Sea panel formed out of nowhere, with no apparent source. But this quickly changed, as an aquatic serpent erupted from it, letting its presence known to all with a mighty screech. It began to slither forward towards the least water-based living being on the battlefield, leaving a trail of water as it moved. Unfortunately, it seemed to be even more enraged than usual...perhaps his summoner's inner anger was being channeled to it? Either way, that trail seemed to be a bit shaky as it lunged towards its target...

...Oh well, there was always other ways to turn that whackjob into junk data. "Now let's make sure he stays down! Battlechip, WideShot2! Slot in!"

The aquatic fighter's arm changed shape once more, becoming the wide mouthed gun he was...mildly familiar with. However, unlike normal, he didn't just aim and shoot. Instead, he began to rush the Lunatic as fast as his short legs would allow him, with his weaponized hand pointed straight ahead...or as straight as he could get it, since he was still trembling with anger. But nevertheless, he got off a relatively decent shot a the water wave at his enemy. Of course, relatively decent didn't mean much when average meant it went sailing over the target's head. His subsequent evasive maneuver of leaping to the side, however, seemed to work wonders, as it proved to actually be worthy of the term leap. He wasn't really sure how he was so good at jumping all of a sudden, but he didn't care, either. It was just an act to make sure he rained more vengeance over where his insane opponent might or might not still be standing.

And speaking of raining..."All right, one more! Battlechip, MediumCloud! Slot in!"

A mist began to spray from SplashMan's water cannons, which began to collect and form a small cloud above his head. Before long, the cloud floated forward, eventually choosing a cozy spot that was ideally over nothing at all due to having no enemy to target. But in a pinch, being right over the Lunatic would do. It then began...to rain. A sharp, needle-like rain, the kind no one wants to be directly under. Especially enemies of the one that created it. As it continued to pour, it began to move to the side, clearly not content to soak a single spot.

Now, to use his suddenly competent physical prowess to avoid any attacks in case he completely missed with everything...or if he didn't miss, but the enemy had an UnderShirt. ...That would be really lousy if it did.

[Order of Turn:
1-AquaDragon chip attack on The Lunatic (150+15, Aqua, attacks until it creates 25% Sea terrain) (Aqua Boost)
2-WideShot2 chip attack on The Lunatic (80+15, Aqua) (Aqua Boost)
3-Dodge
4-MediumCloud chip attack on The Lunatic (90+15, Aqua, lasts for two turns) (Aqua Boost)
5-Dodge
6-Dodge]

Angered by whatever reasons concocted up in his mind, SplashMan began a last assault and summoned an AquaDragon from the depths of Nowhere, and caused the Lunatic to be blasted with a powerful charge from the serpent. It groaned at the impact, and was thrown back into the water. Unfortunately for SplashMan, he wouldn't have the pleasure of the last killshot, as the Lunatic merely sank into the small pool the AquaDragon produced. The only thing the Lunatic had to say was simply "Grblgblrblgablglll.." before the Navi's signature was either deleted, or completely blocked out.

The waters turned a sickly purple-black shortly after the demise of the Lunatic. Floating on the water's surface were the clothes it had been wearing before, covered in splotches of oily black. If he took the time to examine it closely, he would also see some faintly-glowing purple runes stitched into the cloth.

--- Opponent ---
The Lunatic: DROWNED
Effects:

• Strengthen 150
  

--- You ---
SplashMan.EXE: 292HP (Normal)
Effects:

[li]Undershirt/HP+50 Uninstalled
[li]Aggression - Attacks fail if less than 3 attacks a turn (1 turns)

• Berserker - Dodge +2, Accuracy -2 (2 turns)
  

--- Terrain ---

[li]5% Glitched
[li]25% Sea

• 70% Normal
  

-BATTLE FIVE, VICTORY!!-

Rewards:
- 5000z
- Key Item: [Shroud of Lunacy]

Few things had ever satisfied SplashMan quite as much as watching the Lunatic melt into the water. That...was awesome. If he had a mouth, it'd be in a nice, wide grin. Regardless, he happily walked over to the bizarre shroud on the purple water, and picked it up along with all the cash data left behind. "Hey, Sabrina! Should we take this?"

"Well, that guy sure ain't using it anytime soon. Couldn't hurt!"

"Roger that!" And with that both the money and clothing was transferred to the PET. "So, I guess we should jack out, huh? I don't think there's anything left alive here..."

"Yep. You did great, SplashMan...you deserve a break!" With that, Sabrina's finger pressed a button on her electronic device, causing her Navi to exit the Net in one fell swoop. Or light beam. Whichever.

(JACKING OUT WOO)