A Fake Doctor is Among Us

Citizens of the networks! I am not normally one to post on message boards such as these, but I cannot ignore this any longer! I have tried and tried to leave this... this fiend alone, but I cannot leave him to his devices a second longer!

You see, a fake doctor walks our fair networks, noble citizens! Harming navis more than he heals them, breaking things that could be fixed by someone with a real medical degree such as myself, he is a menace to all who call themselves a Doctor! As for patients? Hah! He views a 'patient' as someone for him to kill in his pursuit of destruction!

So it is because of this that I come to this message board, in hopes that this faker will step forward and face the vengeance of a real doctor for all he has done! Listen now to the voices of those who he has harmed!

((A number of links to different audio clips are listed... some of them appear to be the same person talking in a different tone of voice, but there are at least a few different speakers.))

Quote (A Fine Lady)

That evil, malicious navi hurt my baby when he was supposed to heal him! He is a fiend! A fiend!

Quote (A Gruff Voice)

Yo, that bastard, man, I came to him to get my leg fixed up, AND HE CUT IT OFF, MAN! HE CUT MY #%@&ING LEG OFF!

Quote (A Doctor)

That man... he attempted to apply here as a doctor, but when we let him treat one of our patients, they ended up with more ails than when they came in! He is a menace!

Quote (A young girl)

The bad man killed my grandma!

Quote (A dashing rogue)

This delinquent sickened my already afflicted lover! I have consulted several real doctors, and they say she may never recover!

((The links go on for some time, but all of them are fairly similar...))

So you see, dear friends, this... fiend, this mockery of all medical science must be brought to justice, and I will be the one to dole it out upon him!

What is this fiend's name, you ask?

Do Not Resuscitate.exe, or DNR! I am calling you out, you... you... spineless milquetoast! If you have a single ounce of honor or responsibility as a doctor in your thrice-cursed data, I demand that you reply here!

Well, well. Isn't this a wonderful thing to find when your trying to help out people around the net? First off, let me just say that you could have always emailed me your "concern", sir. Yet, perhaps politeness isn't your strong point. No, to be perfectly honest this seems more of the work of an opportunist gossiper that only seeks to inflate his own ego. Secondly, your so called "evidence". Frankly testimonials go on so far and aren't even substantial! Take that "dashing rogue" fellow for instance. Neither you nor him has said: 1. The affliction I was supposed to cure. and 2. What I prescribed to make him so sick, which is instrumental to any malpractice complaint. Besides, this is why patients get that important document, the Patient's Bill of Rights. They have the obligation to speak to me, they have the ability to take me out of the job, and they, most importantly of all, are my bosses. Not you "Mr. concerned citizen", and certainly not the citizens of the networks that have the ability to change doctors whenever they feel like. That's right, everybody has that ability, and it's those inalienable rights that makes the world go around.

Now if you excuse me, I have an energy drink with my name on it.

-Do Not Resucitate.EXE, M.D.

...Wait, wait, what?
I've seen this navi do good deeds, helping the innocent in the Great Net War (meaning the undecided civilians, don't even TRY to bring the factions into this), and while he has his quirks, he certainly isn't evil.

-Anonymous Poster

He probably IS crazy... who names their Navi Do Not Resuscitate anyway? Ah well, it's the easiest thing in the world for some jack*ss to go in and program his Navi to think he's a doctor. One Navi on this whole net, though? And as a doctor for Navis, that normally heal their wounds after jacking out? I don't think this is big enough news to bother everyone with...

"Spineless milquetoast" was probably the best part of this huge waste of time. Think you could teach the rest of us to talk like that?

-Lyn Clarke

Quote (Heat Sonata)

"Spineless milquetoast" was probably the best part of this huge waste of time. Think you could teach the rest of us to talk like that?

I wholeheartedly second this request.

.... I have you know that my protege Polonius Carbonium named me that name, "miss".. although I have to say your just up my alley... but that's wasting my own time, hahah! To go to your question, there have always been navis that are not operated by people in the real world. Then there's the area where some navis get bugs and just won't go away. In that case, we excise and apply a graft to it. Now we also do other things like research and experiments but that's for another time.

- DNR.EXE

Quote (DNR)

Then there's the area where some navis get bugs and just won't go away. In that case, we excise and apply a graft to it. Now we also do other things like research and experiments but that's for another time.

This! This kind of agrarian, incontinent, outdated and blasphemous Dark Ages medicine is exactly what I am talking about! A real doctor would not 'excise' vital code from a navi simply because of an error! Would you 'excise' your brain because of a chemical imbalance? Would you 'excise' your personality just because you see one minor flaw with it?

No!

A real doctor tackles the problem directly! A real doctor would fix the error, not make the problem worse! A real doctor would know that a simple application of certain auto-corrective signature routines can fix a number of common bugs or errors! A real doctor...


A real doctor would not be a SWORD TYPE!

Hmph! You talk about Dark Ages medicine when your discussing lobotomy, which has been ostracized in the medical profession for countless centuries!? You sir seem to be nothing more than a rabblerouser, a malcontent malefactor who wants nothing more than---

A do----

A doctor!? This only increases your ineptitude, you hoodlum! Yes, a real doctor can be any subtype! We possess enough medical technology to create a whole army of doctors if possible! Yet...

I am NOT a Doctor!

I am a CARDIAC SURGEON

- DNR

Quote (DNR)

I am NOT a Doctor!

I am a CARDIAC SURGEON

- DNR

A cardiac surgeon? A CARDIAC SURGEON? Clearly this navi is far more engrossed within his own lunacy than I had first deciphered! Would not navis require ORGANS for you to be a 'cardiac surgeon', you talentless faker? Would they not require human things like hearts, intestines, stomachs, lungs... SPLEENS... for you to have anything to operate upon besides your own medical impotence?

I thought not.

I suggest you crawl back to whatever putrescent hole you spawned from, you vile incognizant, before you further ruin the lives of navis, and further slander the name of the grand medical professions!

Ohhh sure, and you act like YOU know real medical professionals!? WE are an important defensive wall to blockade corruption in a navis programing. Why, a couple of weeks ago I found a navi right in the middle of a circle of Zemons. I have always felt that protecting, with my SWORD type if needed, is important to ensure proper post-op care! Regardless of what you may think you virulent attention seeker, the net can be a dangerous place!

-DNR

Quote (DNR)

Ohhh sure, and you act like YOU know real medical professionals!? WE are an important defensive wall to blockade corruption in a navis programing. Why, a couple of weeks ago I found a navi right in the middle of a circle of Zemons. I have always felt that protecting, with my SWORD type if needed, is important to ensure proper post-op care! Regardless of what you may think you virulent attention seeker, the net can be a dangerous place!

-DNR

Oh, I am full and well aware of that, you accident-prone flounder! But what you do not seem to realize is that a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, especially one of my caliber, unlike yourself, need not rely on such base methods!

A real medical professional views viruses as the primitive diseases they are named after, and indeed carries a versatile array of 'antibiotics' to counteract such a problem! You may keep your blunted blade, you cavern-dwelling brute, while the great minds of medical science march onward!

Wait...DNR? That quack turned my Navi into a newt!

- Anonymous

"breaking things that could be fixed "

"in his pursuit of destruction!"

"Wait...DNR? That quack turned my Navi into a newt!"

*Thumbs up*


~AGWS

Well, you sound like you can take care of any medical procedure from that egocentric view of yours huh? YOU can keep your domineering, pretentious and presumptuous attitude, you neanderthal. Your "antibiotics" are nothing different from my own "procedures"! What's your name anyway? If you really have the valorous tone I am sensing from your words, you wouldn't be afraid of saying it.

- DNR

Quote (DNR)

Well, you sound like you can take care of any medical procedure from that egocentric view of yours huh? YOU can keep your domineering, pretentious and presumptuous attitude, you neanderthal. Your "antibiotics" are nothing different from my own "procedures"! What's your name anyway? If you really have the valorous tone I am sensing from your words, you wouldn't be afraid of saying it.

- DNR

Who am I?

Who am I?

WHO am I?

I will say it only once, you empty cranial cavity! So pry open those gaping tunnels you call ears and pay attention!

I am Jector.exe, M.D.! And I challenge you, you pathetic swine, to a medical dispute!

As DNR.EXE M.D of Cardiac Surgery, I henceforth accept your desire for deliberation!

- DNR.EXE

I suppose there's a slight possibility that this crackpot could be utilizing machinery to perform open-heart surgery. However, even if he professes to be a medical doctor of such expertise, I doubt his credentials with his ludicrously strange manner of professing his proficiency.

A sword navi 'doctor' who goes about wielding a giant scalpel? Sounds more like a serial killer than a doctor to me. As a medic, I strive to use only light weaponry that would not get in the way of my craft or burden me when I could get to a patient quicker. As an addendum, how would you even use a giant scalpel as a tool to help? Why not just use a spear if you're going to destroy viruses?

While I will not go as far as to outright label him a fraud, I denounce his methods and hope that someone with more information than I on this matter can resolve it.

-Traceur.CMD

Uh...wow. Just wow. Way to not be total drama queens, everyone. Seriously, you guys are talking about surgeon stuff, and I STILL think I came out stupider than I was before. Congrats, you've all succeeded in making me think surgeons are arrogant, idiotic jerks.

-Anonymous

I very much have to agree on this, above poster.
-Anon

If this poster is right and this navi is perhaps practicing upon navis with an illegitimate license, navis across the net could have been harmed worse than any virus could do. That within itself is enough to take this issue seriously, in this navi's opinion.

-Traceur.CMD