Resolutions 16: MeleeMan and Hyde

Welcome! Thank you for participating in the Donation Drive by offering your resolutions. I hope you two will encourage each other to be your best in times to come!

-Holly.EXE

((Post here only if your navi's name is in the title. To be eligible for FXP once the event's over, you will need to post at least twice: once to set up your navi's resolution and an example this year that shows they need to make this resolution, and then a second with your navi's encouragement to their BBS partner. The threads will remain open until around January 15th. You're free to back and forth as much as you'd like until that time! Note also that this is a BBS thread, so your navis are not going to be physically meeting. You may have them connect with video or such if you want, but they're not actually meeting in person.

For any questions, ask Aim. And have fun!))

Dear MeleeMan,

It is a pleasure to write to you on this auspicious occasion. My name is Hyde.EXE, and I'm a medical Navi by trade, with training in both digital medical practice and real-world medical application. I apologize if, in the course of my writing, my tone appears stiff. I'm accustomed to technical writing, not conversational.

My resolution is to solve a personal mystery of mine involving a personal defect, the nature of which is difficult to delve into here. Without embellishment, I shall inform you that it involves involuntary and uncontrollable misbehavior on my part. My preference would be to cure it myself, but should I prove unable to, I may be forced to restrain myself as a secondary measure.

As for times I have failed to do so, unfortunately, it has been a consistent failure through recent memory. Having failed to, as of yet, determine the mechanism by which it recurs, I frequently find myself incapable of preventing various unfortunate developments that would not bear describing to a gentleman over BBS that I've not yet met.

Please let me know your own resolution, and perhaps we can work together to decide how your upcoming year can be better than the last.

All the best,

Hyde.EXE

I don't know if that's technical writing or conversational or what, but it's damn confusing. Did two different people write this? Was I supposed to get that last part? Anyway, I sorta owe Rania for something, so I told her I'd do this. So let me tell you, in my experience, "misbehavior" or "rudeness" or "being a jackass" is what people tell you you're doing when you lay things down a way they don't like them. But most of those people are just making their own stupid rules, or trying to impress somebody, or some other equally dumb thing. You just do what you know is right and, assuming it's actually right, it'll all work out. If you're just an idiot, then there's no helping you. At least not by me. Despite what I told somebody recently, I'm not a real coach.

As for slapping, you sound like you could use a good slapping, if I'm being totally honest. I don't normally hit women, but you sound like somebody I might wanna hit, if you get my drift. Not like punching, the other kind. Judging by your message, operators can't read this, right? You wouldn't have posted that if my operator was just going to read it. Anyway, send me pics and as long as you're hot enough and just tell me when, where, and how hard you want the slapping to be... on second thought, don't tell me that third one. Trust me, it'll be better if we just go with the way I want it. If you really wanna be restrained, I can do it that way too.

Damn, I still have to make a resolution. It's hard for me, cause like I said, I live my way, so I don't have a lot of regrets. I guess my resolution's to stop taking so much crap from everybody. Seriously, damn. There was this coach guy who just mouthed off and I don't think he ever learned his damn lesson... and a couple of cheerleaders. Cheerleaders! I'm spilling too much here. Point being, I'm too nice sometimes and that doesn't really suit a guy like me.

I'll pass you over to my SP. I don't know if that's what we're supposed to do but... Here she is.

-MeleeMan.EXE

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My resolution is to find a way to serve someone as a weapon. That is presumably going to mean either making MeleeMan a more competent strategist- i.e. using any strategy at all- or finding a new master.

As for your resolution, yes, I would say you should really get a jump on that. I might recommend hiring a professional... either a technical expert or a psychiatrist might be good. I would not involve MeleeMan in it. In fact, it's better if you don't respond to this message any further. I read his post above.

-Damascus.SP

MeleeMan,

My word. I'm terribly sorry if you misread my offer to "make this year better than your last" as something altogether different from what I intended. I explained my ailment as specifically and concisely as possible in a message to a stranger, and I don't appreciate you resorting to name-calling. I certainly don't appreciate your unsolicited sexual advances or threats of physical violence! I urge you to read my previous message again and recollect your thoughts as necessary to continue a civil discussion.

I'm sorry if I'm already putting you off to a poor start to your resolution. If you're determined to avoid being too polite and considerate this year, however, I'd say you're off to an encouraging start. Bravo!

Damascus,

I thank you for your advice, and if you are truly the long-suffering sort that must tolerate this brute as your master, I wish you much luck to come. I'm afraid that I've explored both avenues personally with nothing to show for it. If you can believe it, I'm actually cooperating with a detective now, in hopes of breaking new ground.

In any case, terribly sorry to ignore your advice and return a message. I did, however, feel it necessary to give your master a piece of my mind. Again, you seem like a reasonable type, and I give you my best wishes and respect going into what must be a trying future.

All the best,

Hyde.EXE

Now hold up! I am getting some seriously mixed signals here. What happened to the thing you wrote about the size of your boobs and freaky sex with other navis? If you're trying to mess with me, you picked the wrong guy! Or... is this a tease? Look, I don't really like it like that. I'm a straightforward guy, okay? None of the hard to get stuff. Just send me some pics so I can see if you're hot or not. I feel like this is a waste of my damn time, if you're not even hot.

And for the record, I'm not really... look, I wasn't saying I want to hit you, I was saying "hit you." I know it sounds bad when I say hit you like that, but I really mean just like sex, maybe some other stuff kinda like that. It won't hurt, not any more than it always kind of does for the girl when you're talking about taking on a guy as big as me, anyway. It's, you know, a good hurt. If that makes any sense.

-MeleeMan.EXE

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Really, just disengage. It's not worth keeping up this conversation. But thank you for your kind words and I wish you luck.

-Damascus.SP

MeleeMan,

For pity's sake. This is a charity event! The purpose of your participation is for charity and for self-improvement, not to satisfy your lust.

While appreciate your concern, I'm not interested in your "good hurt," nor in taking up any more of your time.

All the best,

XOXO KISS THIS XOXO

HYDE.EXE

[MeleeMan/Hyde: +5 FXP]