Bayonet's Office

The homepage of Netpolice officer Bayonet and her operator Jon Baton serves as her office away from the office. Finding her own office in the NP office complex troublesome due to its easily accessible position at the center of the area, Bayonet retires here to get away from the crowd. A creature of solitude, Bayonet is at her best in quiet calculation. The homepage has been customized by Jon to provide a personal feel for her; decorated with old Creamland revolutionary war replicas and full of maps and charts, it is a save haven where she can acquire peace and solitude while she organizes her affairs.

Netpolice officer DimensionMan, a poster boy for the NP and major player in the Public Defense department, has acquired the address of her homepage to pay her a personal visit for a special occasion...

If Bayonet had to name a hobby she had that was not work related, it would most certainly be the study of Creamland military history. Working on a replica to finish out her latest miniature war reenactment, the officer delicately applied the final touches to a tiny flotilla ship with a small paintbrush. The silence in the room was deadening as she traced around the ship's hull with a thin brush, capturing its silver color with amazing precision. Once it was finished, she needed only apply the gold emblem to its side. Gathering a new paintbrush up and dabbing up the proper color, she moved in for the stroke of gold.

Suddenly, her concentration was broken by an overly enthusiastic call that pierced the blew apart the silence of the room like a cannonball through a ship's sail. "DimensionMan, hoooooo!" the bellow rang out, reverberating throughout the museum-like room loudly. The metaphor became closer to reality as Bayonet's paintbrush split through the sail of her ship, causing a wide scowl to spread across her stern face. DimensionMan's orange armor shone bright; the shine was almost as bright as the sparkle of his teeth and the sheen of his black visor, as he approached the navi and her ruined miniature ship. "I'm not catching you in the middle of anything, am I Bayonet?" he asked, looking around the room with interest at all of her memorabilia with both hands hooked at his belt.

Bayonet was a little bit taller than DimensionMan, a little bit less important in rank, but a great deal more serious and less amused by antics and camaraderie. Placing her ship down upon the desk, she turned to greet him, saluting in a courteous motion despite her anger. Her towering black hat, red coat with white band, prim white breeches, and tall boots gave her a very official look despite the fact that she was supposedly involved in her own down time at the moment.

"Senior officer DimensionMan. What a... pleasant surprise. Is there any particular reason you're here, sir?" she asked, crossing her hands behind her back and keeping her erect posture. The natural tilt of her head in a proud upward position caused her to have to look down her nose at DimensionMan. Her brown hair, held into a neat but somewhat pld-fashioned, short and ribboned tail at the back sat entirely motionless as she kept her features still.

"Do I need a reason to visit? Ha ha ha ha!" he laughed, walking in closer and lowering his hands casually to indicate that there was no need to salute. "But seriously, I've come to you today for a very important reason. It's come to our attention that you've been hiding something from all of us at the Netpolice," he continued, suddenly switching to a grave tone of voice.

Bayonet clenched her teeth in spite of herself, holding her fists tight at her side. She was about the last person that she'd have expected to be accused of any anti-NP activities at this time, seeing as she was conducting a search for rats within the NP recently herself. "What are you implying, sir?" she asked, trying to keep her posture and remain respectful.

"I'm 'implying' that you didn't tell anybody at the office that your birthday was coming up!" he guffawed, slapping one hand up onto her shoulder with a huge grin.
"I guess I'm the only person who bothers to check the calendar, huh? Well, you'll be happy to know that I brought enough party with me to pick up their slack!" Quickly, he materialized a parcel wrapped in a simple package and handed it over.

The news was a double blow to Bayonet, who had just moments ago been braced to defend herself against baseless interrogations from her superior. For starters, she'd completely misread the situation. Furthermore, the fact that he'd research enough about her to know when her birthday was or what to get her was embarrassing in itself, so her face began to redden to about the color of her suit. "Really, sir, there's no reason you need to come here to celebrate my birthday. I'm sure you've got other important duties to attend to," she sighed, crossing her arms across her breasts.

"Not today I don't! Guess you'll just have to put up with me a while longer," he giggled, moving over to a wooden chair near to a fireplace in Bayonet's room. Straddling the chair backwards, he leaned both arms over it and watched with anticipation as she turned the package over in her hands in inspection. "Ha ha! It's not a bomb or anything," he assured her with a mellow wave of his gloved hand.

Bayonet stared back huffily, as if insulted that he might think she suspected him of something, when in reality she'd suspected him of something just moments ago. Unwrapping the bow carefully, she reached into the parcel and pulled out its contents. The gift surprised her, but not in a good way; DimensionMan had given her a digital print of DimensionMan Comics Edition #30: Trouble in Creamland. "At least he's done enough research to know the whole country," she told herself, putting on a forced smile.

"Well? Why don't you read a few pages?" he asked her excitedly, doing little to hide that there was another surprise in store.

Blinking obliviously, Bayonet turned her attention back to the comic. Flipping it open to the middle page, she passed by an authentic mail-order coupon for the comic and found a parchment nestled into the pages. Reaching into the fold and pulling it out, she discovered that it was a replica war map, a rare one that was one of few she'd been needing to complete her collection. "How could you have known I needed this?" she asked with surprise, turning her head back to him with a slight bob of her hair.

DimensionMan smiled at her reaction. "Ha ha ha! Don't underestimate Don's skills as a reporter! He's almost like a stalker in some ways, but er... That is, he helped," he coughed into his fist, continuing with his infectiously cheery jokes. "Anyways, happy birthday."

Smiling, Bayonet realized that the attitude was rubbing off on her. She thanked him politely, preparing another seat in her brown armchair. The two settled down for a drink of tea and discussed affairs for a short while, sharing the officer's birthday in companionship.

-------

After a long talk about various unimportant issues, DimensionMan rested his head on his fist, trying to think about how to broach a few more important topics that he needed an audience on. "Not to spoil the mood or anything, but what are your opinions on this latest development with the GNA? It feels kind of weird, to be honest... Like, we're the protectors of course, but it's almost like the GNA's being more than that. It's almost like... well geez, it's almost like they're trying to protect people from us!" he muttered, trying to make sense of the situation. To DimensionMan, the idea of the Netpolice as the good guys and the Mafia as the bad guys was something that couldn't be argued. The fact that there was an intermediary with enough power to tell the police what to do just couldn't quite seem natural to him.

Frowning, Bayonet circled her spoon in her teacup absently. She had perhaps more of a problem than any of the Department of Administration's top men with the idea of the NP and Mafia conducting a war negotiated by the terms of another party. "You know what's something I've acknowledged after an extensive study of war, DimensionMan? she asked rhetorically, leaning forward in her chair with the irregular light of the furnace casting a shadow over one side of her face. "Every participant in every war has something to gain from it. Nobody fights in a war just to make a point, nor does anyone fight in a war because they feel they've got a moral obligation to do so. For all intents and purposes, the GNA is now fighting in this war. Therefore, I must conclude that they have some way they're wanting to profit from it... I don't see how that's possible, though, considering they already regulate so much of what happens on the net," she mused, rubbing her chin with one silk-gloved hand.

The talk largely went over DimensionMan's head. Hell, he hadn't really realized that the GNA had an armed force until he'd seen them at the recruitment complex. "I dunno, it's possible they really are just trying to help. I mean, Brassman lost some of his guys recently... some officers from both sides, I hear, are just disappearing. I lost an apprentice in that huge net war fiasco, you remember," he reminisced sadly, still propping his head up on one fist. "It seems like the NP and Mafia both are having a hard time handling ourselves recently. This also gives people a safer way to recruit into either side, you know. I mean, I'm not for people going Mafia, but our recruitment is also increasing from the arrangement."

"I don't see how letting in unqualified personnel who have just gotten their place from a single mission is likely to help us... All I can imagine is that it will increase casualties. I guess if it improves morale and allows us to more easily search for good soldiers, it's a decent arrangement. If all we're doing is placing rookies in live combat, however, I'll be none to pleased," she sighed, leaning back into her chair. Turning her head, she gave DimensionMan a coy smile. "That's all I really want for my birthday. Reassurance that the NP are going to come out of this okay... You can promise me that, right?"

Taken back, DimensionMan sunk into his own seat. Grinning sheepishly, he laughed out an answer. "Well, uh, I'll certainly try!" After downing the rest of his tea, he rose up from his chair with a big stretch. "It's been great celebrating with you! We ought to meet up again some time, you and I."

"Sure, sure," she smiled, feeling a bit more comfortable with him than she had earlier. "Thank you for coming by. Although... Please don't spread this address around the office. I'm going to be resting today and would rather not be disturbed."

With a smile and a wink, DimensionMan sealed his promise, happy that he'd broken some new ground with the Administrations officer. With any luck, she'd start gelling with the NP in no time. Satisfied, he beamed out of the homepage, leaving Bayonet to muse upon what was said.

Bayonet's homepage awaited the arrival of her friend-for-hire, Shuri. The intricately arranged maps, model s ships, antiques, replicas, and writings made it clear that it was Bayonet probably needed a companion in her endeavor. She was clearly not the extroverted type who likes to chum around with her underlings, as this sort of study undoubtedly consumed a lot of her time without offering a lot of conversational options for her.

A miniature bar to one side seemed to be the best place for Shuri to take a seat, as there were no writings or maps to smudge or knock over on the flat, clean bar-top surface. The navi Shuri was looking for was not present, so there was no way she could proceed yet. The silence was deafening.

The most out of place article in the room, by far, was an old Dimension Man comic, placed into a small magazine rack near the bar. All of the other reading material there appeared to be scholarly reading.

Upon arrival, the first thing Shuri did was let out a sigh of relief that she had the sense to not bring her SP. He was usually pretty well behaved, but...this wasn't the place to risk being a time he wasn't. She immediately dismissed her back shuriken as well, since there was presumably no need to be ready for battle. Not that she wasn't anyway. She just needed a thought to bring it back, should it be needed.

Perhaps unsurprisingly given what she'd heard beforehand, Bayonet was into Creamlandian military history. She could hardly judge such a hobby, considering she enjoyed learning about feudal era Electopia. Though her interests apparently paled in comparison, since she didn't maintain a collection. But since Creamland didn't really appeal to her, she went over to the bar and took a seat. ...Even the stuff on that magazine rack looked like it focused on the history of Creamland...wait, what was that one over there? Let's just pull it out a little, to see what it was...'DimensionMan Comics Edition #30: Trouble in Creamland'? She really, really hoped there was a story behind that one. Let's just...push that back in.

...Well, nothing to do now but wait for Bayonet to show up. Fortunately, Shuri had a good amount of patience, so she calmly waited for the mission requester to show up...

Shuri didn't have much time to ponder why Bayonet owned a single DimensionMan comic, as the navi herself showed up soon after the ninja's arrival. At first, Bayonet seemed pretty normal, but Shuri realized that was only because she'd become accustomed to seeing the officer in the ordinarily unusual attire of her highly appealing blue and red swimsuit.this time, get hair was done into it's characteristic short tail, restricting some of the glamorous waves that had made her more attractive but less military. She also wore a white t-shirt, long enough to cover the rim of her bottom. Speaking of her bottom, she'd jacked in facing the wrong way.

Bayonet turned her head slightly and spotted Shuri over her shoulder. "There you are. Thanks again for coming, Shuri," she spoke with a smile. It was a polite and rare expression, something current than either her at-the-office, cold glare or the goofy, sex-drunk smile she'd worn while being manipulated by Piper. "I also especially wish to thank you for assisting me out of the jam at the casino earlier. Thankful as I am, let's avoid mentioning it during today's proceedings, if we can," she urged her ninja compatriot. The officer blushed and tugged her shirt down slightly, as if to hide the bikini. "Unfortunately, this is the attire mandated by our meeting today. I've got a similar outfit to hand you. Jon and I fetched it for my friend but she won't be joining us today. Don't worry, you won't be wearing it second-hand."

The t-shirt did little to hide Bayonet's considerable assets as she came to sit next to Shuri. "I can't tell you what PatrolMan plans to make me do," she spoke quietly, grabbing a bottle of brandy and inspecting it idly. She preparing it as she spoke, reaching first for the bottle opener. "I know that he's the must despicable sort of free-loading, good-for-nothing wretch who subsists only be the good graces of the equally miserable but shrewd FashionMan's graces. Please, don't repeat a any of this praise this room, although they are both well aware of my opinion of them. If either were under my command or associated with the Department of Internal Affairs, I would order them to get into shape, but sadly I have little control over them. This makes today's situation especially unfortunate."

She paused to reach never the counter, squatting in a way that showed off her training and to some degree her fitness; a lot of folks would bend their back instead. "Here are your clothes. You can change in the closet if you like, or you can change once we leave," she instructed. The outfit, upon closer inspection, consisted of a black bikini, composed of less fabric than one could hope, linked together by gold rings such that it would show a provocative degree of skin where one could afford to show it. Black, leather material short shorts (very short, so that the rings would probably be visible) and a white t-shirt were also included. The shirt seemed a decent bit less conservative than Bayonet's and would reveal most the belly.

"... Jon picked this one thinking she would like it. I feel the outfit may have given her cold feet, personally. Apparently, Jon and I see this friend's personality very differently," she continued, her eyebrows twitching slightly in a way that betrayed her anger towards her operator. "If you have your own swimsuit, you're free to use that instead." She paused as she plunked two cubes of ice into a shallow glass. Would you care for anything to drink, Shuri? I know I could use some liquid courage to make it through the day," the officer offered, grabbing another glass preemptively.

Luckily for Shuri, her patience wasn't tested, and Bayonet arrived. It was a bit odd how she kept running into a notable member of the NetPolice in a bikini...not that she really minded, but fate was strange like that. "It's no trouble at all to be here." After all, she was getting paid to do so. Upon hearing that the last mission was officially something that shouldn't be discussed, she made a quick, but noticable, nod, to show that she had no intentions of dwelling on the past. Truthfully, she'd done a couple things back then that she wasn't very proud of, herself.

After listening to the other Navi for a bit, she received her outfit for the mission, which she took the liberty of checking out. It...didn't leave a whole lot to the imagination. In that regard, Bayonet was extremely fortunate in two regards: Shuri didn't mind showing skin as long as it wasn't on the lower half of her face, and whoever she was going to bring originally had a very similar body type as her, so it'd most likely fit her quite well.

"So it would seem. Two different people can see another in very different ways, after all." Hmm. If this was why the other Navi declined, she must've been a bit shy. Granted, a lot of people would probably be too shy to wear something like that... "...I don't have any special swimwear, so this will have to do. I suppose I should go ahead and put it on."

And into the closet she went. As she started removing various articles of her outfit, an unexpected voice rang out from behind her. "Shuri! Whatcha doin'?"

"...Changing."

"Oh, right. I kinda heard some of the stuff that other Navi was saying through the PET. And actually, I have a suggestion!"

"I'll bite. What is it?"

"Well, ninjas are supposed to blend in seamlessly into their surroundings, right? But since you almost never take off your mask, you'll just stick out like a sore thumb. So shouldn't you take it off for the party?"

"What?! You know that makes me feel...naked." Which said something, considering she was pretty much naked aside from her face at the moment.

"Yeah, but this is a great opportunity to work on that! If you can overcome this, you'll be able to show your face almost anywhere, and that'll let you blend into crowds and stuff a lot better, instead of having to hide in the shadows all the time!"

"That's...a better point than I was expecting, honestly...but..."

"But nothing! You go to that party, and you show your whole face to everyone! Do it for yourself, do it for me...and do it for Shurimpy!" That name. That stupid name.

"...Oh, all right." Gulp. Shuri could feel herself blushing a little at the mere prospect of being bare faced in public. All right, she could do it. Just reach back, undo it...there. Now she'd look like any other partygoer. No one would stare at her or anything. Then, why did feel like there was a giant lump of iron in her stomach...?

Once she had everything on, the ninja Navi opened the door, though she was facing away from it to hide her face. She looked unusually tense around the limbs, and not at all relaxed like she normally came across as. As well, in a rare moment in of itself, her waist long purple hair was on full display, as she never did anything with it the way Bayonet did. "Listen, Bayonet..." While she had agreed to do this maskless, she still had one other proposition to make. She just couldn't let too many people know her face was, well, hers. "I'm going to do this without wearing my face mask. So...don't call me by my actual name. Instead, call me...Shina."

With that, she turned around, providing a rare moment of showing her face to someone she didn't know very well. The structure and such was rather Electopian, as one would probably have guessed of a native Electopian Navi based on a traditional element of feudal Electopian history. All in all, she'd probably get a stare or two from anyone that liked cute Electopians. Though, said face was definitely a bit on the red side, and her mouth was unconsciously in a small frown out of knowing she looked embarrassed. "So, um, how do I look in this...?"

Bayonet was as surprised as anyone when Shuri came back out; it was evident on her ordinarily steely face, which was proving itself not so steely when public embarrassment was involved. Still, she tried to give a comforting smile, though it was clearly strained... probably because she'd been expecting the ninja to be the straight-forward, unperturbed one throughout this experience. "Yes, you look cu... er, quite... quite natural," Bayonet praised Shuri, correcting herself half way through. "I hardly see how anyone could object." She took another deeper drink of her brandy, then placed the empty glass back onto the counter. "Shina then. Very well. I'd change my name and appearance too, if I could get away with it, but PatrolMan's going to be looking for me specifically," Bayonet sighed, looking like she was considering another glass of brandy.

When she managed to push that thought out of her head, she occupied herself cleaning the glass as well. "Just one more thing... I think PatrolMan is, very soon, going to be submitting a most absurd proposal to the Department of Internal Affairs, asking for vehicles and vehicle maintenance services to become standard equipment for Public Safety officers. This is asinine for numerous reasons, such as the net's inherent design dissuading anyone from needing patrol cars, but worse, the vehicles he has in mind are essentially sports cars with no utility. He should have his car on his homepage. That car is garbage and I would discourage its use if I were his direct superior... In fact, I believe it's the model which the others will be based on. The proposal itself, however, is likely never to reach me. It will probably go straight to FashionMan who will accept it without a second thought. But... if the opportunity presented itself throughout the afternoon... you understand the car is already quite shoddy, however, if the car were to become even more shoddy over the course of the afternoon... I believe it would be in the interest of the NetPolice at large. Not to mention... it would give me a great deal of personal satisfaction. I don't like subterfuge or shadow work, of course, but if a friend who excelled at that sort of thing were to help me out, I'd be indebted to her and would be willing to up her payment as well," Bayonet finished. She had been keeping straight-faced, then finally smiled and sighed, leaning back on one of the seats as she did. "Sorry, that was a little suspicious of me. But it's all very true. It's in everyone's interest if something bad happens to his car and I only just worked up the courage to ask you to be the one to take care of it. Only if you feel up to it, of course, and only if the opportunity presents itself to do it discretely. It wouldn't accomplish anything to walk in there and pop his tires. Whether you choose to help with that or not is up to you. I won't press you and won't watch for it, so that no suspicion will be drawn to either of us regardless. Depending on what his commands are, we may not even get the chance to interact with that vehicle," she shrugged. "In which case, I'll simply try to cut off FashionMan instead. But this would be far more amusing and easier on me."

Having finished her lengthy explanation of optional objectives, Bayonet handed over a data packet containing a net address and key for PatrolMan's homepage. "There you are. Thank you again for agreeing to do this with me. Let's try to make the best of it," she finished, then saluted and jacked out.

*Shuri received Coordinates.DAT and PatrolHPKey.DAT*

((Topic opening soon in NPC homepages))

The talk of sabotage, oddly, seemed to calm Shuri down a bit. She might not have looked like a ninja, but that didn't mean she still wasn't one, and one more than happy in engaging in such types of work. "...I see. Well, if I get an opportunity, I won't let it go to waste. That much I can assure you."

With that, she accepted the data, and watched her employer warp off. Now that she was alone...she immediately slumped her shoulders and sighed. "I'm not really sure I'm ready for this..."

"Oh, please! You're adorable, and no one else'll know who you are! You'll be fine!"

"...I suppose. Fine, from here on out, I'm simply 'Shina'. Not a ninja for hire." While it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself of that than informing her operator, she nevertheless made use of what she'd received, and went off to join the party.

Back in the safety of her office with Shuri close behind her, Bayonet sighed and poured herself a drink, looking very out of place but still rather lovely amidst her classy, storied antiques. She instinctively poured a second for Shuri, although Shuri hadn't cared for one earlier. Once Shuri arrived, she relaxed herself, mostly out of a sense of obligation; there was no reason to remain tense now that the mission was complete. "Thank you again for your cooperation," she began, giving a quick, informal toast, then downing the short glass of brandy quickly. "I dare say you performed better out there, even without your mask, then I managed. I'm afraid that appearing thus in front of crowds is never going to be a strong suite of mine. Furthermore, I'd call the sabotage of PatrolMan's foolery quite effective. The cause of the explosion should be impossible for him to figure out, with what limited knowledge he has of his own vehicle, and he doubt he knows anything that would help him pin that random malfunction on you or I. Even I'm not sure how you managed to rig his engine to do that," she admitted. "But, you certainly deserve the bonus. For that, I will up your payment from 200 to 280 bugfrags."

*Shuri received 280 bugfrags*

"Of course, you understand that I'm the type to give a full performance evaluation after any mission. So, having said your merits, once small criticism I'd levy... you could have warned me that PatrolMan was grabbing my bum... a-and I don't know that you should have agreed to... handle the cadet in that manner... in view of the others," she coughed, doing her best to look serious while blushing like an embarrassed schoolgirl. "But... I recognize all of those things were ultimately for the good of the mission. You were just helping us through the issues that I could not. So perhaps you're not at fault for those indecent behaviors... But it's up to us girls to stand up to the perverse whims of the net's worst denizens here and again, you understand? Ah, rather than a performance evaluation, consider this the concern of... a friend," the officer concluded, closing her eyes as she poured herself another drink. "I don't have a lot of close friends, Shuri. But I'm honored to think of you as one, if you'll let me," she spoke again. "I know that your profession as a mercenary worker operating in the shadows and mine as an administrative official in the NetPolice don't offer us a lot of opportunities to meet friends who are trustworthy, competent, and open with one another. But I'd like to have that sort of relationship with you."

She recklessly downed the second drink, then continued talking, so as not to allow for an awkward silence that would sound like she needed a response. "That is all I need you for today, Shuri, unless I can help you in any other way," Bayonet dismissed Shuri, crossing her arms in front of her with each forearm reaching to the other elbow and looking contemplative. Her face was still a little hot and with the extra moisture from the hose and rinse on her body, she looked even more erotic than she had when Shuri had first arrived to find her standing at the bar in the t-shirt and bikini bottom.

Upon arrival back in Bayonet's office, Shuri let the other woman take charge of the conversation, only chipping in a couple of responses. "Technically, I did nothing, other than come up with the idea. My SP did the dirty work. I won't bore you with the specifics, but needless to say, he did his job perfectly. I'm pretty sure he was in there when PatrolMan started using his horn, though...but I think he'll be okay with some rest. That's an advantage of being a program." Still, BugFrags would ease the suffering, and Shurimpy earned himself some extra ones. She accepted the reward, and sent it over to the PET. She'd give them directly to him in a few.

"I'm sorry you got...grabbed. I didn't notice it in time, it seems. The incident with HoundMan, however, was necessary. It's the duty of a mercenary to protect their client, and by doing that, you didn't have to do anything extra. I won't apologize for it." Any mercenary worth their salt served as a shield as well as a sword. ...Metaphorically, of course. She preferred throwing weapons and knives, as her name probably implied.

She fell completely silent, however, as Bayonet basically proposed friendship. That was a rather awkward feeling for her...it wasn't often her clients had any interest in her beyond her services. Plus, well...the way she was standing there, with her face just slightly flushed, and still a bit wet from their activities...great, now she could feel her own face getting warmer. She needed to change the subject, fast...

But she almost immdiately got an out, by actually being able to get out. All right, time to save face. "Help me in some other way? I believe that's my line. ...But before I go, take this." Shuri whipped up a quick data packet, and handed it over. "Here's my operator's e-mail. If you want me for...well, whatever, I check her mail before I give it to her. So...yeah. Do that if you want." Well, she was developing a fine ability to look like an idiot right now. She needed to go before she managed to look even worse. "I believe I'll take my leave now. Until next time." And in a purple beam of light, she exited the Net. Though, in one final act of awkwardness, the bikini she was wearing was now on the floor...

((Shuri gets 23 Bayonet FXP, 13 HoundMan FXP, and 8 PatrolMan FXP))

Not to be found assembling a model ship or studying a map this time, Bayonet would be busily working on dictating a document when Pirouette arrived. Two seats sat across from Bayonet's large, oak-wood desk, over which a digital map had been overlaid. If Pirouette looked closely, she'd realize the map depicted a portion of BeachNet, with five blinking blue blips highlighted along its surface. Some of those blips were moving, others were stationary. A few old-fashioned, manila folders were lying on the table as well, five total. They contained papers, photographs, and a few other items... some were rather light while the one furthest to the left looked full to the point of bursting.

The navi was dressed in her uniform, a sleek, red navisuit with a separation point around the hips where it became white, along with similar points at the hands, resembling gloves. A white, X-shaped bandoleer circled her very expansive bust, with a black belt similarly accenting her hips. She wore black boots, fitted close to the slacks of her navisuit, as well, which tapped against the tile of the hardwood floor behind her desk, as she paced. Her eyes were cold and blue like a foggy sky and her hair was a chocolate brown color, made into a French braid that extended down past her shoulder-blades. She wore light make-up as well, which drew attention to her full lips; she didn't seem accustomed to smiling much, though. Upon her desk sat a tall, black cap with feathers adorning the front, resembling something worn by old war grenadiers. The chin strap beneath it would fasten it onto one's head. It seemed more like something to wear outdoors on a battlefield than around one's own office.

"Where normal means and measures have failed, we seek alternatives; if I cannot teach them myself, then perhaps facing the fellows they're meant to serve and interfacing with them directly is what is needed to correct their poor behavior. Offloading the task onto a civilian is not something I relish, but I will take whatever steps necessary to reform the navis, rehabilitate them, or simply teach them right from wrong," she spoke, facing away from her desk towards a large map of Netopia on her back wall. She had her arms crossed and her eyes closed pensively. It was quite likely she was recording her words in some fashion, or perhaps speaking with her operator; either way, Pirouette would need to announce her own arrival.

((Pirouette, arriving from -> Recruitment))
----

It was just about as Bayonet finished speaking that a small bead of light formed in the centre of the room behind the two chairs, then swiftly grew to a tall oval of tightly wound rushing feathers. The effect cut suddenly with a faint snap of sound, revealing Pirouette as she followed the link to the destination provided to her by the GNA. A small collection of white swan feathers drifted to the ground around her, then faded from sight just as quickly. The young woman herself stood formally, with her hands in front of her at her waist, still wearing her thin white leotard and ruffled tu-tu, blonde hair pinned back neatly and wings standing upright and extended. She waited a second or two, letting her eyes flick over the room, and the woman standing facing the other wall, before speaking up.

"Excuse me. I do not mean to interrupt, you know, but you are Bayonet, with the Net Police's Internal Affairs, no? My name is Pirouette, and I have been sent to this location to assist you with an investigation of some description, as a part of my application. It is a pleasure to meet you." At this point she took an extra step forward, still on the balls of her feet and seeming to slide the small distance smoothly, so she could extend one hand to shake while the other rested on the back of one of the two chairs.

"I understand the need to get to work with whatever it is you wish my assistance with, of course, but perhaps also, you could tell me a little bit more about yourself, and this department, yes? I should like to know more about what you do before I join, from a navi who works here, you know, rather than a pamphlet or a GNA handler." She smiled for the other woman as she shook, keeping it polite and reserved, though still friendly.

The room's other occupant turned her head so she faced Pirouette, then gave a nod. She accepted Pirouette's hand with an exceptionally firm shake; it was a hand that would not be out of place around a saber. "You're not interrupting anything, Pirouette. I like to dictate a log of ongoing activities, but taking care of this business is my top priority at the moment," she began, motioning for Pirouette to take a seat across the table, then pulling out her own chair so that she could sit as well. She crossed one leg over the other and kept both forearms on the arms of her chair, with the gloves neatly cupping the ends. "Good to meet you. Yes, I'm Bayonet and, as you are aware, will be administering your recruitment mission for the NetPolice." She seemed thoughtful for a moment, regarding Pirouette's appearance, but continued soon enough, staying on task.

"Very well; it does make sense that you'd want to know more about the department before you devote yourself to working to join it. The NetPolice's Internal Affairs Division is primarily occupied with issuing orders. The easiest way to think of it is this: the other divisions handle affairs within their specialties, while we handle everything outside of that, or anything that involves all departments. For instance, distribution of funding or planning publicity events falls to us. In any function that is multi-departmental or anything requiring a broad focus, such as some time ago during the net war, Internal Affairs takes the lead in distributing manpower and stating our overall goals. Although all officers should display a certain level of fitness, we try to avoid direct combat ourselves because it fits better in the scope of Public Safety or Justice. And of course, Internal Affairs cares about specialties as well... If you become a part of our division, then we'll be certain to find what roles fit you best. If you excel at today's mission, for instance, we may look to you for administering disciplinary actions in the future. It's dependent upon both your aptitude and your own preferences."

It seemed like she could go on for a while about the subject, but she digressed and answered Pirouette's second question. "I wear a lot of hats in Internal Affairs. I assist the Justice division and Public Safety divisions with deploying their forces, I assist Technology in strategic focus, I am sometimes called in to act as inquisitor for Prosecutions or help on specific hunts, and on occasion, I offer my insights to Investigations. Some people believe I stretch myself too thin, but my personal philosophy is that resources should be utilized to their fullest extent, and that includes, most of all, human resources. I give my 100% and expect others to do the same. I should mention... discipline is a big part of my job. Which is why this is a particularly embarrassing request I am giving you today... these navis are persistent troublemakers that I have thus far been unable to make a mark upon. I'm hoping that you coming into this, with fresh eyes and methods, will be able to succeed where I have not. I can still stand to learn, as can we all, I'm sure."

Bayonet leaned forward a bit and placed one hand upon one of the lighter folders. "I'd like to jump right into it, if you don't mind. I'm afraid that another part of my assigning you this task is my being summoned for an important task, a conference with Officer Bank, the topic of which is confidential. Let's discuss the first assignment," she continued, opening the folder to reveal a photograph of a woman in pristine silver armor consisting of gauntlets, boots, and a breastplate, worn over a puffy-sleeved blue blouse and skirt, with a white undersuit beneath. A blue beret with a jaunty white feather sat upon her hair, which was blond with magnificently large curls in a bob around her head, which seemed somehow childishly round. Her face looked amiable, though not very serious. A long, narrow blade hung from a holster at her black, leather belt. "This is Garde," Bayonet introduced the figure, sounding somewhat weary already. "A member of Public Safety, she fancies herself my 'rival,' though I wish to have no such relationship. Complaints we've received from the public: flighty, lacking practical skills, unreliable, generally... a goof. My personal notes: she values the appearance of the badge but does not put in the effort needed to honor it. She has natural talent at swordplay and yet refuses to hone it into something useful. She needs discipline, in both the literal sense of this intervention and in the sense of drive, the will to try one's hardest and excel."

She seemed ready to move on quickly, perhaps thinking that Garde's faults would become apparent when Pirouette began speaking to her. She opened the next folder, displaying another picture, this one of a man in bizarre armor, composed of brown 'keys' like from a xylophone or similar instrument, encircling most parts of his body so that only a set of demure, black eyes glared out. "This is GangsaMan, also of Public Safety. He has a sterling track record, actually. For a long time, he was a promising newcomer to the division, but something has changed. When his mentor, CarriageMan, was deleted by the Mafia, his drive seemed to increase. Recently, however... we've received complaints: a lack of empathy, a general uncaring demeanor, and hostile language. My personal notes: whatever hole was left behind by CarriageMan, he's filled that hole with something not at all conducive to fostering good work ethic. If you can find out what it is, that would be a major breakthrough, for certain. He's a model officer, apart from recent complaints, so I hope we can bring him back."

Bayonet's hand moved to the next folder, a rather thin one, and opened it up. The navi pictured here was difficult to make out... she was a woman, judging by the black-painted lips, curled into a persistent smile in all photographs, that showed just beneath her white hood. The hood she wore was covered from head to toe with black sketchings and notes. What little of her black skinsuit showed was also marked with oppositely white writing. "This is Cabal, of Investigations. I'm not on bad terms with her, personally; I believe she has a sharp mind and what some see as paranoia, I see as a healthy suspicion of her fellow officer that, at times, proves very productive for our departments. However... the public complaints: she is 'eerie.' She is 'unsettling'. She is 'the type of person that scares my young operator.' My notes: this should be an open and shut case. Simply persuade her to act and dress more becoming of an officer, something that doesn't look, as one put it, 'like an evil mafioso.' She's been frustratingly defiant against my attempts to persuade her. There must be some way to make her see reason on the matter... But I leave that to you."

She opened the next folder, which was a good bit more full than the previous. "Next is HoundMan, again, Public Safety." The navi pictured was a well-built man in a black navi suit with dark gray armor, modeled with a dog's tail, head, and even stylized, claw-like gauntlets and boots. His helmet had two long scopes over the eyes with green lenses, a little like night-vision goggles. His frown in the picture looked either unassuming or dull-witted. "He's... well, a bit difficult to deal with. Public complaints: tactlessness, lack of decorum, public indecency, and many others. My personal notes: he just lacks common sense. He means well, but he's... rather dull-witted. Still, I trust him. He's got...a good heart. If there was just some way to get a few basics through his thick skull and teach him... That's all he really needs."

Finally, she came to the last one, taking a moment to glance back up to Lyntael meaningfully. "The last one: PatrolMan of Public Safety," she finished, the name seeming sour on her tongue. The navi was huge, almost top-heavy with muscle, clad in a rather traditional NP getup with white armor over a black skinsuit. His helmet had a very narrow visor, out of which a blue light shined in some picture, red in others, and the top of his helmet was adorned with a small alarm light. "This navi has received countless public complaints. I've moved many times for his removal from the NetPolice, but I have found myself overruled each time. It... confounds me. The public complaints: lecherous, uncaring, ignorant, selfish, cruel, petty, 'sneaky,' 'cowardly', 'useless.' My personal notes: see the above. I see him as an irredeemable lout, a stain upon the NetPolice, better suited for life as a Mafioso and prone to acting like one. He values only a few things: himself, his car, and the companionship of any woman he cares to wager will be stupid enough to care about his car, of all things. If you can do anything to fix any of his behaviors, then I will count that a victory. I wouldn't wish him upon you for long, so if you find him as unsavory as I do and judge him beyond redemption... Well, I would not object to having your words on the file to say as much, but I can't reward you without results, unfortunately. Still... four fine opportunities even if this one doesn't pan out."

The officer swept her hand over the map upon the table. "This is the part of BeachNet where the navis are currently on 'volunteer service,' which is actually a form of discipline itself. It consists of simple things, helping around all over BeachNet. However, these are menial tasks and non-essential; you should consider the focus to be the rehabilitation you've been assigned to carry out. "You can either go to this area in BeachNet to speak to them or call them here, by flipping the switches behind each of the folders, which will alert them to 'drop everything and run' to meet here in this office... I assume you might want this side of the desk. I'd recommend you conduct your work from this office, as there will be fewer distractions here than out there, but you can tackle this whichever way you see fit." The blips on the map each seemed to correspond to another navi... Right now, HoundMan appeared to be off the beach and in the ocean, Garde was off by herself further up the beach, and the remaining three were all clumped together on the other side of the beach.

Bayonet folded her hands in front of herself and sat forward. "I know that's a lot to digest. Officer Bank can wait for a few moments more... Please, ask if there is anything you need to know to carry out your task," she insisted, keeping her chin up. "And I hope that you won't let any of this color your opinion of all the NetPolice, if you can help it. These officers... the majority of these officers... are good men and women with a few behavioral issues we need to iron out of them. They wouldn't have gotten this far... the majority of them... without a genuine desire to do good, to enforce the law and make the net safe. It is not such a rosey existence any more, being a policeman in a net which largely rejects them. It's not always a job where you can expect to receive thanks. And yet, it is so, so important... I deeply believe that. The fact that they remain on the force... the majority of them... is testament to their will to serve."

Despite her slender appearance, the ballerina was unfazed by Bayonet's handshake; she appreciated a firm grip, and she obviously wasn't actively trying to crush her hand or anything petty like that, so it was a good first impression for an officer of the law. When the other woman sat, Pirouette pulled the chair in front of her out and tactfully turned it to the side as she stepped around to sit, setting the back of it to one side so that it wouldn't press on her wings. Standard chairs were awkward like that.

She nodded quietly at the appropriate points while Bayonet explained the work of the department in a little more detail. It sounded like where she needed to be, at least for now. By Bayonet's description, if it were decided that the NP in general needed to improve their public relations and public image, then it would fall first to Internal Affairs to allocate resources and structures and set things up for how that was to be achieved. It also sounded like it as the place to be to put a resolution like that forward, at least as far as she could tell. She gave a polite nod of thanks and a quiet thank you to the other woman as she wrapped up the general explanation and her own job within that, and moved on to the task at had.

Each of the case files that Bayonet presented had their own difficulties; even the ones that Bayonet remarked as theoretically open and shut were on this desk because they quite patently were not so. Still, the way Pirouette saw it, there were standards that had to be observed if the proper public image was to be maintained, and those with complaints behind them ultimately had only two options; conform, or quit. She wasn't the type to suggest compromises over a situation like this. The final case caught her attention in particular, for the worrying lack of action regarding it, but she held the thought until Bayonet had explained the rest of her task. She looked at the map and raised her eyebrows at the placement of the dots that blinked for each navi slated for rehabilitation. At last she looked up to Bayonet again.

"I think I should like to present as a civilian first. I would walk down the beach, and interact with each of them, as a stranger, and observe them, perhaps play the part of a civilian to them and whatever behavioural problems they each exhibit, yes? With that done, I would return here, and summon them one at a time for a more formal interview, reveal to them the capacity in which I come, and speak as needed to them on the matter, and attempt to make some headway. After that, I will submit my reports and recommendations to you. You find this acceptable, officer Bayonet, no?"

Her brow drew downward for a moment and her wings ruffled, twitching as she placed her hands together on the desk.

"I also have one other question, if you do not mind. The last file there. Who is it that continually overrules you in this regard? you have his track record, and you carry out discipline for the force. how is it then, that the decision to relieve someone of duty does not fall to you, you know? Who makes that decision, and why, in your opinion, would they protect him, to the detriment of the entire police force?" Her head turned to the side slightly as she watched Bayonet's reaction. She believed the woman's interpretation, and the thickness of the file, but she hadn't dismissed the possibility that her reports were being dismissed purely because the official above her had decided she was too biased. She waited to hear what she said.

Bayonet watched Pirouette's expression while folding her hands beneath her chin, her face a persistent, pensive frown. "That's an admirable approach, Pirouette; I appreciate an officer who understands the value of field observation. That said, I don't want you spending all day on this. Your own schedule aside, I can't lock the other officers in all day waiting for you or I to push the button and summon them. You should have plenty of time, but if the individual interviews are taking you too long after you perform your observation, I would encourage you to consider consolidating them, or perhaps prioritizing the cases you think most important first in case the timer does run out. We'll consider the limit of your time to be when the beach patrol returns to resume their standard duty. Hopefully, you won't feel too constrained," she suggested. "Your plan of action is sound, so as long as the time constraint won't be a problem for you, I feel I've left the task in good hands."

She waited a moment longer, then raised her eyebrow quizzically as Pirouette expressed her doubts, questioning why anyone would keep a navi like PatrolMan on the force if he was such a liability, and more pointedly, why she was not the one in charge of making that call. Her eyebrows lowered into a glare that was hopefully more directed at the thought of the navi in question than at Pirouette herself. "Well, Internal Affairs is a faction, not just myself. I can discipline him as his superior and make motions to have him removed, but they are just that: motions. Deliberation never pans out. Chiefly, FashionMan, another member of the Internal Affairs department, often opposes me, and seems to be alarmingly effective at whipping up support from other seemingly unrelated officers. FashionMan believes that I have a tendency to... 'witch hunt,' expending counterproductive effort snooping into the affairs of my compatriots that could be better spent elsewhere. Hmph. That man promotes a 'clique-like' atmosphere that is not conducive to unbiased operation in Internal Affairs and I tell him to that face. But," she sighed, compulsively straightening the fat folder on the desk again, "he's heavily involved in recruitment and, as I understand, in funding as well. He's earned his influence, to some degree."

She tensed her brow and hid her mouth behind her fist for a moment, then adjusted the same folder once again. "This must be making the whole department sound rather chaotic and childish, but I assure you, you're here to work with those outliers and bring them up to the high standard that we hold all officers to. Remember too that, discipline and improve as we may, working with others despite differences of opinion and their... quirks... is another important part of being an officer," Bayonet reminded Pirouette. Her face had grown pretty stormy. Reading between the lines, it seemed like putting up with the nonsense of others was her own Achilles Heel.

Here, she rose to her feet and put her hands together. "I must be off to my meeting now, Pirouette. I wish you well on your mission and expect that you shall accomplish your task handily, moving on to become the sort of model officer we need in the department," she finished, grabbing up her hat and hooking it at her chin. "We'll meet again after and I will hear your report." She gave another small nod, then vanished in a red beam. Pirouette could now prepare for her undercover surveillance of the other officers or theoretically swipe some neat model ships while Bayonet wasn't around, though it wouldn't be a great start to her police career.

Listening once again, Pirouette politely nodded her understanding and agreement to Bayonet's last advice and stipulations, then stood again as well, as the other woman made ready to leave. In her mind she found herself thinking that if there was another officer who was promoting clique-ish behaviour amongst the ranks, then perhaps this FashionMan himself might warrant some cautionary or disciplinary measures. She didn't say anything aloud, for concern of delaying Bayonet further, but it was a thought she filed away in her own mind. In her head, Pirouette was slightly conflicted, since she didn't really want this to become any kind of full-time, attention devouring job for her. Mikhail and the students came first... but at the same time, she knew she was the sort of person who never wanted to let go of an issue until it was fully resolved and neatened out. She held her peace for now and waited until Bayonet had departed, then moved around the desk to look at her options more closely.

If she was reading the display correctly, then starting at the far end of the beach from the group of three, she'd encounter Garde first, then HoundMan, and then the remaining three. If she was lucky they might split up by the time she reached them, but if they'd all been sent to the beach on discipline community work, then chances were they were just hanging around together and wasting time. Unconsciously, Pirouette pursed her lips, her wings quivering delicately, before she took a long breath and let it out again slowly. She meant to stick to the plan she'd laid out to Bayonet; one quick observation pass over the group, posing as an unaffiliated civilian, and then back to the office to speak with them. So, Garde first.

After taking another moment or two to settle herself and gather her poise, Pirouette made the transition over to the beach itself, following the co-ordinates listed to arrive somewhere further down the beach from where the furthest single dot was currently located, so that she could stroll the length of the beach and pass them all in turn.

((Pirouette shifting to -> Beach Net))

((Returning from -> Beach Net))

As she arrived back in the relative safety of Bayonet's office room, Pirouette took a few extra moments to regather her poise and composure. The towel had disappeared, much as she'd suspected it might, though that made her wonder what might have happened if she'd been wearing one of the beach's swim suites and left in the same manner. The thought set a new fire to her cheeks and she quickly and quietly asked Mikhail for a refresh on her outfit, so that it would no longer be dangerously indecent. Once a clean, dry and unaltered leotard was in place, Pirouette found herself feeling much better. The garment still wasn't the most decent thing in the world; it was still alarmingly thin, and probably showed, or at least suggested, more than was proper, but such was the nature of performance leotards, designed to be worn underneath a more complete costume, so Pirouette was perfectly comfortable in it.

That done, she crossed around to the far side of the desk and began looking at the files she had only had a brief glance at before, wondering who to summon first. It would be best to give the trio she'd just left behind some time to settle down, and possibly stew, before calling any of them up again, so instead she looked between the other two files, and eventually settled on Garde's one. Reading over it one more time carefully, she considered what Bayonet had told her. Garde was definitely the correct one to summon first. She rolled her shoulders and ruffled her wings once or twice, then took a seat behind the desk and pulled a small black notebook, plain and with no markings on it, from her PET, along with a long quill pen, made from a black swan feather. She rapidly filled an open page with a few paragraphs of notes that roughly related to the officers she'd seen on the beach, then started a fresh on the opposite leaf, getting into character. Once she was ready, Pirouette reached out and flipped the switch for calling Garde to the room. In the back of her mind, she hoped the woman was out of her shower by now.

Having returned to Bayonet's office, Pirouette first made herself presentable again, then made herself comfortable behind Bayonet's desk as the office's owner had recommended. She wasted no time summoning up Garde, i.e. pushing the button corresponding to her name and location on the beach. Judging by the positions of the blips, Garde had moved over to join HoundMan, who was still nearby the bin where he'd been dumping viruses, and the other three were still further down the beach, grouped close together.

Thankfully, when she appeared, Garde was clothed enough and dry enough to make it apparent she'd not been mid-shower, though her hair was still slightly damp even after having been toweled off. Her hair was meticulously curled, which Pirouette could only imagine must have taken a while longer, given that the curls were clearly rolled rather than natural, given their distinct shape. Speaking of distinct shapes, the officer's body was mostly shown off thanks to a flashy, slightly shimmery sky-blue bikini, a little low on the bottom and a little open on the top, with white ribbons frilly enough that it almost looked like lingerie rather than a swimsuit, including a large bow on the front of the chest. Her top was busty and her hips were wide, but it might occur to Pirouette that she didn't seem to have the firm, lean figure you'd associate with a fencer, despite her weapon of choice. Her body looked pretty soft and untrained, all around.

"Bonjour, mon rival!" she introduced herself, making a show of flipping a deeper blue towel over her shoulder as though it was a cape and standing in a confident pose, with one hand on her hip and the other on the cape's shoulder. "To what do I owe the-?" she began, then dropped the act when she realized that the girl behind the desk was not Bayonet, even if her demeanor was somewhat similar. "Eeeh, qu'est-ce que c'est?" she asked, now placing both hands on her hips. "Ehm, are you Bayonet's new secretary? Oh... Oh! I see it now, ze family resemblance! You are Bayonet's younger sister, are you not?" she asked, putting on a genial smile. "I'm sure she's told you all about me and my exploits! We're great rivals, her and I! She may have told you she outranks me, but she is probably overstating zat a little bit! It would be more appropriate if we were to compare our style, our fencing form, and ze overall grace with which we handle ourselves on ze battlefield! Say, where is your sister?"

Pirouette would probably want to jump in and correct Garde on several accounts sooner rather than later and possibly to ask Garde to have a seat.

When Garde appeared in the office, Pirouette kept her eyes turned down slightly, looking at her notebook instead of the freshly arrived woman. From beneath her eyelashes, the ballerina took a quick glance at her beach wear and distinctly non-police regulation attire, but returned to her notebook after only a cursory look. When Garde began speaking, Pirouette began to take small notes in the book, her quill scratching softly on the paper as she wrote, but she didn't look up, or cut her off.

She allowed the silly woman to continue babbling until she had gotten it all out of her system, writing small, detailed notes with a deeply unconcerned air, then, when Garde had finished speaking, finished her line, gently set the pen aside, took an extra five seconds to re-read her last few lines, or at least to pretend to, then closed the notebook over and placed it down precisely in front of her. Still sitting in silence, she rotated the notebook in place, turning it around once, then picked it up and opened it again, so that it was now, presumably, starting from the inverted back side instead. Another second of finding her page, and one more picking up the quill again. At last she spoke, though she still didn't look up directly, and more pointedly did not instruct Garde to sit, or offer her a chair.

"I do not expect that you will know who I am, officer... Garde, was it?" There was a decent chance that Garde would recognise her accent; though she had spoken as a bright and bubbly young lady on the beach, and now, instead, commanded a cold, authoritarian tone, the accent itself was thick and notable all the same. She began writing again.

"My name is Pirouette, and I am here today due to a matter of internal affairs. More than that, I am not obliged to tell someone of your rank, and I have no particular desire to do so. I have requisitioned the use of officer Bayonet's office for this, you know, and I shall take as long as is necessary to reach a proper conclusion, but I would not inconvenience her any more than is needed, so let us be blunt." Now she set down the quill and notebook again, and looked up finally, meeting Garde's eyes and folding her hands on the table. Her wings arched up, extending as she leaned forward slightly.

"I am here today, because there is a problem. I will be assessing the problem, and then I will be offering solutions to it. I would not be here, if this problem could have been solved by normal means. Other methods of solving this problem have not worked; warnings have been ineffective, standard disciplines have failed to properly convey their meanings, and so here I am. You, miss Garde, are the problem I must solve today." She paused for a moment, not inviting Garde to speak at all, but simply appraising the woman and her initial reaction. After only a second or two, she continued, comfortably riding over any beginning words Garde might have been about to interject.

"There are several ways a problem like this might be solved. The most straight forward is a very simple one. You currently serve only to damage the image and reputation of the Net Police. You derelict your assignments, you are tardy to your appointed duties, and when you are representing the net police to others, you inspire no confidence in your capabilities, or in your ability to serve or protect anyone, nor even any confidence in your ability to reliably perform simple tasks. Indeed, you show no regard for the presentation of someone worthy of the badge, and so you only ever sully its image instead, anywhere you go. Currently, the Net Police is, as a whole, worse for your inclusion.

"The simple solution then, would be severance, no? You would be discharged from the Net Police, stripped of your rank, and returned to the status of a civilian, free to seek employment opportunities elsewhere. The net Police currently has no need or use for an officer that acts as you do, and this course of action would see their image spared of your damaging behaviour, you know. That is one solution, yes?" Pirouette let that sit for a moment, ignoring any spluttering or protesting that Garde might make in favour of turning her eyes back down to her notebook, reclaiming her quill and taking a few more lines of notes in silence.

"This is not the only conclusion I may arrive at, Officer Garde. There is usually more than one way to solve a difficult problem, you know. So. I will ask you some questions now, and I would like you to consider carefully your answer to them, and to think about them before opening your mouth, yes?" She looked up again, pen poised.

"What is the work that you were assigned to do at the beginning of your shift today?" She held Garde's eyes unblinking and with as much of a theatrical stillness as she could muster; it was quite eerie, with the black quill pen waiting to begin writing upon Garde's answer. The quill scratched along after her words, about a half second behind, though Pirouette herself didn't break eye contact. The notes she was taking were small and neat and on the line, thanks to the ballerina's formal calligraphy skill, but the notes themselves were not exactly intelligible words; it was far more for visual effect than anything else. Once Garde had answered she continued.

"And since you began your shift today, how much work towards that task have you actually done? Think carefully and answer truthfully, miss Garde." She hadn't really addressed the uniform issue yet, and apart of her mind was beginning to worry about the lack of identifiable uniform being enforced might be an entirely wide-spread issue in the Net Police as a whole. That was something that absolutely needed to be fixed.

"Ho ho, oui! Officer Garde, that is!" Garde chuckled, liking the sound of her own name, but preferring it with a title slapped in front of it. "Internal Affairs? I do not remember hearing of you before in zat department! Ho ho, perhaps you are a pencil pusher!" she joked, waving one hand as though to say "don't get mad." She looked a little less jokey and a little more attentive once Pirouette pulled rank on her; it was clearly a source of concern for her, as, despite her earlier claim back on the beach, she must have known the real reason she'd been put on trash pick-up duty. "Ah, oui. Er, ze trash pick up was supposed to be part of my resolution of ze problem, ma'am," she admitted now, seeming to understand she was on the hook. "Now wait just a minute! I'm no problem! I'm a great asset of ze NetPolice Public Safety Department, beloved by my areas of patrol!" she insisted, growing pretty indignant pretty quick.

That was about the last time she had for a real protest, as from there on, Pirouette went full bore with accusations against Garde for her lackluster record as an officer and unbecoming behavior. "I don't-!" "I am not-!" "That was just one-!" "I am very confident-!" "My presentation is very-!" "The NetPolice are-!" she shot back rapidly, her words getting lost among Pirouette's own. It looked as though, as the conversation proceeded, Garde was becoming increasingly indignant, but also, somewhat nervous. Was that just a reaction to the thought of getting canned or perhaps something else? "You've got a lot of nerve! You could barely even remember my name earlier and somehow you feel qualified to judge my entire career, c'est tout?! W-Well, I will have a lot to say about 'zis later, I assure you! Whoever you are, don't think 'zat the NP all value me so little as you do!"

She hushed up for a bit longer, to let Pirouette ask her questions, then crossed her arms and lifted her chin, bobbing her blond curls as she did. "I was assigned to trash pick up duty. Bayonet and I both know 'zat 'zere is no real point in trash pickup duty at 'ze beach... I mean, did you see any trash? Navis are not prone to litter unless they jack out and forget some'zing! So, realizing 'zat, and being a lady who takes initiative, I took it upon myself to update 'ze mission parameters! Appearance is so important to a NetPolice Public Safety officer, Pirouette! I must inspire admiration wherever I go, no matter what you think, and 'zat starts with cleanliness, grooming, and style! Ze admiration I inspire when in my très agréable swimwear is much more valuable 'zen using me to move a few little pieces of trash! To 'zat end, I must spend time on preparation!"

Despite the seeming confidence of her answer, she was having a hard time meeting Pirouette's menacing glare. "I have not picked up any trash! Five officers in one place, picking up trash... c'est rire! Ridiculous, no? What would beachgoers think, with five qualified patrolmen, all bending over and picking up little pieces of 'zis and 'zat off of 'ze beach? So my plan was to leave that to HoundMan, since he seems like he would be good at 'zat sort of thing, and in 'ze mean time, I would patrol, as is my standard function! A gorgeous officer such as myself, patrolling on 'ze beach with 'ze common people? Oui, now 'zat is 'ze way one builds excitement for 'ze NetPolice, not by cutting loose intelligent officers such as myself who are only trying to help!" she complained, now seeming more fired up. "And if I encountered some no-good crook, I would give them a little taste of my expert swordplay!"

As such, she pushed her luck. The buxom officer rolled one hand dismissively and tilted her head. "Ah, but you are ze spitting image of Bayonet! Like her, you are like 'ze mule obstinée, you think all 'ze NetPolice is about your rules and optimizing and micromanagement! It is because you are in 'ze office all 'ze time, Pirouette! 'Zis is 'ze beauty of Public Safety, which puts us hand in hand with 'ze citizenry we serve! Oui, oui! It is 'zere 'zat we foster 'ze love of 'ze people and learn from 'zem directly! 'Zeir needs and wants! How we can make 'zem safe! 'Zis while Bayonet and you plot more ways to pose regulations and sanctions on us! I'll bet you were thinking just now that all of 'ze NP ought to be wearing proper uniforms, no? 'Zat is 'ze problem! We are already seen as 'ze uncool faction by the people of the net! We're struggling to keep up with 'ze Mafia and 'ze Shogun girls, and you want to make us even more unpopular by forcing us all to dress 'ze same! Am I right?"

Here, she pointed one hand out as if pointing her fencing foil, winking and smirking annoyingly. It seemed she'd decided to try to turn the table around, but where did that confidence come from? Earlier she'd seemed to fear the possibility of being canned, but it was as though a switch had been flipped and she'd suddenly remembered a trump card. Or maybe she believed Pirouette would really buy into what she was saying...?

Doing her best to keep a smooth face and unmoving demeanour, Pirouette allowed Garde to talk more of her objections out into the office once she had finished speaking. She didn't move at first, simply watched the other woman, then, very delicately, began to write in her notebook once Garde got around to answering her first question. The other woman's objections, she let wash over her, though she listened carefully as she filled line after line with small, neat sharoan script. When the other woman finally petered out, she began speaking again, though her quill didn't stop.

"Claims to have pride in appearance and in office, yet fails to display any sign of police affiliation while on active duty... Considers showering and applying hair care to be appropriate on duty activities worth disregarding assigned duties for... Notes better uses of time and resources, yet disregards completely the correct channels for pursuing these improvements... Instead, wilfully disregards assigned duties purely because she believes she knows better... Drastically over-inflated ego is clearly the primary problem in this case..." Her quill pen stopped and she looked up, features still calm.

"Officer Garde, it is not my job to care about how much, or, you know, how little little esteem other members of the net police regard you with. It is not my job to be delicate. It is my job to assess, summarise, and recommend a course of action that will best provide results, no? I may advise individuals if they wish. If they ask for it, you know. That is all. You may act as offended or indignant about my assessment as you wish, Officer Garde; it is of no concern to me."

"To continue... Personal presentation is important, yes, but it is also, as you say, secondary, to fulfilling your duty appropriately. Self care, particularly in terms of cosmetic beautification, must be conducted in your own time, and on breaks. Not duty times when you are supposed to be on duty, or performing another task. This is not hard to understand, yes?"

"Next, appropriate action. You were aware that the duty you were assigned today was, how do you say... it was..." her wings twitched as she searched for the word. "Sukhodrochka... aie... busywork, yes? You knew this. You knew that it was a task of discipline, assigned to you due to previous complaints and infractions. Knowing this, you still shirked it. Do you know what this tells me, officer garde? I will tell you what this tells me."

"It tells me that you have an over-inflated sense of ego that surpasses your common sense. You do not accept culpability for your transgressions, but instead make excuses for them. You maintain your sense of right action, even when you are called down and disciplined. You do not feel bound to accept discipline for your misbehaviour because you never truly accept when you have misbehaved. This leads you to commit further transgressions in the disregarding and subverting of disciplinary measures intended to remind you of what is considered correct and appropriate, and what is not. And so you do not learn, Officer Garde, because you do not countenance the idea that you have indeed, room to learn, or need to do so." Glancing down, she wrote a few more lines, then paused again, turning the quill to the side, and delicately holding the end of the feather between the fingers of her other hand.

"I am not of the opinion that you are the worst offender in this matter, Officer Garde. On the contrary. However, I am of the opinion that you could be, and ought to be, setting a far better example both to the general populace and to other Net Police members, than you currently are, yes? As it stands, you know, my recommendation will not be a positive one. The assessment is not good, no? I would strongly recommend that you no more disregard the duties and orders you are given by commanding officers, simply because you believe you know better. If you see a better use of resources or a more efficient course of action, you will raise this with your superiors and work with them. You will respect their decision if they nevertheless overrule you. You will restrict your bouts of personal care and attending to your appearance to breaks that you have, and to times before your duties begin, rather than during the times when you are supposed to be actively representing the Net Police. Finally, Officer Garde, you will stop making excuses for yourself and your actions. They have already been found wanting, and neither I, nor anyone else, wishes to hear any more of them." Turning the quill over in her fingers for a moment, Pirouette set it down gently beside the notebook, and closed the little black cover over, sliding it to the side of her position. Next she folded her hands over each other on the desk in front of her, where the notebook had been resting.

"As of right now, I have not seen or heard anything that makes me believe that these recommendations will be taken seriously, from myself, to you. No sign that they do anything beyond falling upon unwilling ears. Before I dismiss you, and compile my recommendation, what can you say to me now, that I may take into account and lend to my considerations, Officer Garde?"

Unruffled, she watched the other woman in silence. The question of swim attire was a bit more difficult, really. She didn't want to necessarily try to make every police member wear a full official uniform, but at least some kind of unifying emblem was important; that's what badges were for, after all. How to translate that to swim wear, though...? The thought occupied her and helped keep her composure as calm as marble while she waited for Garde's closing remarks.