The Showbizz Rival Survival Island

The island that Rodeo had directed Rose to join her at was so beautiful and picturesque that it looked like more of a place for a beach vacation than a survival exercise. Well... it didn't quite look like an unspoiled beach either, considering that, standing out in the center of the island, a four-story building with glass walls and a dome on top, with two star-shaped radio dishes, was positioned. It was like Showbizz's round, star-topped head and smirking face were surveying the entire island... and they probably were.

The island's sandy beaches were dotted lightly with jungle trees; where the beach gave way to grass, the area became dense, jungle forest. There was no sign of a crashed boat or plane or anything, so apparently, the simulation only went so far... not that navis very often became ship-wrecked or plane-wrecked very often regardless. With an island like this, it looked like food and hunting ought to be abundant... but then... navis didn't need to eat either. Just how was this survival challenge supposed to work, anyway, with beings who didn't need to eat, drink, or sleep? Some of them could even walk on water or fly in the air, meaning they could theoretically leave the island at any time...

Rose would have to get her answers straight from her employer, which, in a rare turn of events, was not Showbizz, but rather, one of the game-show participants. As it so happened, Rodeo was easy to find, both because of her actions- she was currently brushing the mane of a small horse, which looked almost as out of place as her on the beach- and because of her wardrobe. She was dressed in a tassled, brown, cow-hide skirt and vest over a darker brown skinsuit. Her hands and feet were clad with similar gloves and boots, while her head was topped with a wide-brimmed cowboy hat, connected under the chin with a flapping string tie. Her hair was a rusty red-orange color, done in two braided pigtails. She was already sweating heavily, due to the heat... the hat might be helping a bit, but the whole ensemble was made for the old west, not a tropical island, which was a step hotter still than the climate she was prepared for.

The others that had been mentioned- Kama and Wasteland- were nowhere to be found. One more thing that was a little odd; a big batch of virus pieces were lying around further down the beach from where she'd jack in. It looked like a bunch of hardhats, thorny vines, sticky Metagel goo, wax from candles, feathers from FirePhoenix, scales from some reptilian virus... perhaps it was all building tools? It looked like someone had some heavy duty arts and crafts in mind.

And just like that, Rose beamed into Beach Net. No having to walk all the way from ACDC. Who knew being an operated Navi had those kinds of perks? But that wasn't the only nice thing she got to notice...she could feel her boots hitting the sand as she landed. No strange flower that weirded people out this time. It'd been a while since she really needed to hoof it...at least she still knew how.

Now, to get a grasp on where she was. ...Really, there wasn't much to grasp, as it was your garden variety tropical paradise island. Except for the building off in the distance, which words could not describe how unfitting it looked. Overall, a nice place to survive in, with plenty of green.

But Rose's focus soon became fixed on the Navi in the distance. How long had it even been since she saw a fellow customized Navi? Probably not since the garden attack...but now she could talk and look her in the face and not see the exact same thing all the time and, oh, it'd be so nice. She raced over to her employer as quickly as she could (which wasn't very fast; she knew how to walk and run, but she wasn't exactly proficient at it), stopping just a foot or so away from her. "Hello there! Are you Rodeo? I'm Rose! It's very nice to meet you!" Maybe they could even be friends and such, like she was with Leilani? Having a Navi friend sounded awesome...although, weren't there others that would be participating? Why, then she could have multiple Navi friends, and they could all chat and tell each other how their days went and other stuff. Already, this was shaping up to be the best day ever.

Rodeo turned her head to look down the beach, then dropped her brush in the sand (this would prove to be an obvious mistake later on) and ran to meet her new companion. Because they were both excitedly hopping across the sand, they reached each other in no time flat, and Rodeo had to stop herself from running into Rose. "Yer darn tootin'! The one and only Rodeo, at yer service," she introduced herself, tipping up her hat with two fingers and giving a wink. "And you must be Roseo- er, Rose! And cause we're here on this swanky-dank desert island together, that makes you a desert flower! Haw!" It wasn't much of a joke, but she was easily entertained.

"Oh, and this lil' gal here is Genevieve, my stal-wurt companion!" she paused, introducing her mule-sized horse. It gave a snort, then subtly stepped on the brush that had been dropped a few times, burying it deeper in the sand. "Yeeeah, she don't know what to make'a this island. We're used to the ol' dusty trail, not the ol' sandy beach! Ya'd think there'd be a lil' crossover there, but naw, t'aint worth a fistful'a dust... ner sand," she sighed, staring at the unfamiliar jungle. "I don't know nothin' bout scavengin' for no food, ner puttin' up no shelter! I hope yer a better sur-vive-ee-list than me!" It seemed like she really hadn't caught on yet that there was really no danger posed to navis by lack of such things.

She pinched her hat with two fingers and tilted it up again, wiping the sweat from her brow. She had a concerned look on her face, as though she'd forgotten where she was going next. "Oh, right, right. Kama's out in the ocean, said she was gonna wait in hidin' there in case we could get an advantage out of it. See that biiig ol' hollow-out-inside tree trunk over yonder, stickin up out the water? That's her breathin' tube! It's a ninja thing! Ain't that just the gosh-dawginest thing ya ever seen?!" Rodeo announced excitedly. "Neo-Shogun Empire's full'a them ninjas! Kinda makes me wanna try to be the first ol' west ninja on the net!"

Next, she pointed out toward the forest. "Wasteland's a screwball, alright, but since she's assigned here, I'm makin' the best of her unique talent for uh, wantin' to kill and eat things. She's a-huntin'! I mean, I'm a pretty good hunter too- I think, I got this lasso n'all- but I'll bet she's got a knack for it! Only thing is, she hasn't really come back from the jungle yet since she disappeared oooooh, I guess it twere roundabouts half an hour ago. Meat takes time, haw haw!" Rodeo chortled good-naturedly and absent-mindedly.

Finally, she addressed the eye-catching pile of virus pieces all sitting around. "Yer probably wonderin' if we committed some kinda mass virus extermina'shun earlier and piled all that up, right? Well, it tweren't us! Stuff was all thar when we got here!" she explained. "Kinda eerie, y'know? Like somebody gutted the whole island already! What kinder survival challenge ain't got no viruses to survive against?!" she asked, spreading out her arms. "Well, just makes it easier fer us, don't it? Haw haw!"

Further discussions were broken up by a voice emanating from the Showbizz complex in the center of the island. "Ahoy, my shipwrecked gals! Welcome to the Showbizz Rival Survival Island! Seeing as everybody's here, I think we oughta get started! The rules here are simple! We're gonna have a series of three themed island challenges. Each is elimination style between four teams! Bottom is out! Got it? Simple, right? If you lose right out the gate, you can expect crap all for rewards! If you make it all the way to the end, fabulous prizes await! Ooo! Aaah!"

"Aaaaw, shoot! I lost my brush!" Rodeo suddenly complained, looking this way and that. Once she spotted it under Genevieve's hoof, she slapped her hands on her cheeks comically and stomped her feet up and down. "Dagnabbit, that's the only brush I brought! Bad girl!" she complained, getting down onto her knees with her butt in the air as she tried to yank it out. "Bwargh! Can ya go and shake Kama, Rose? She needs to hear all this Showbizz is tellin' us! Sounds like it's gonna be a little more complicated than I figgered!"

If Rose wanted to do that, it'd mean a little swim; there was no way to reach Kama's breathing spout without swimming out, and the rest of her was somewhere beneath the water. Heedless of the problem, Showbizz continued her briefing. "Our teams today are the Neo-Shogun team, the pirate team, the NetPolice team, and the Global Admin team. Pick your favorites, viewers at home, and cheer them on! Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty and discuss our first contest!"

Rose might be left to wonder, first off, if she'd be receiving any cut of those rewards, and secondly, if she'd still receive her promised payment if they didn't place high. Either way, the first step was to rally the group, which would mean getting Kama out of the water.

And there were greetings, and it was good. Actual Navi to Navi conversation! Rose, however, was not an expert at locating things like jokes...which Rodeo would probably appreciate if she joked like that a lot. "Why thank you! I think you're cute, too! And I like your, uh, what's it called, horse!" She didn't seem too thrilled about meeting a new Navi, though, which made the plant Navi slightly confused. "Um, did I upset her? I'm sorry, I promise I'll never forget what a horse is called again!"

As the cowgirl looked over at the jungle, so too did Rose. "I can't say it was quite like this, but I did have to survive on my own for a while. Don't worry, I know a thing or two about plants and flowers, so I can pitch in for sure!" Nothing in sight looked like it'd be good to eat, though. Maybe that stuff was deeper in?

And incidentally, weren't there supposed to be more potential friends? As it turned out, yes, and Rodeo had no problem explaining where they were. "Using a tree trunk to breathe? That's kinda cleverrrrrrr wait a second. Tree TRUNK?" Sure enough, she could see one sticking out of the water, hollowed out. "There are Navis that big?! Wow, I guess I still have some things to learn." So, who else was there? "Hunting, huh? I guess between me and her, food won't be a concern!" She'd been for 30 minutes? Hmm, that didn't seem too weird to her. Though it wasn't like she knew much about the subject. "Maybe she's just having bad luck? Although if she's the one that already got all this stuff-" As it turned out, nope. "Really? That's kinda weird. It's like leaving someone's entrails out on the beach!" Nice, juicy entrails. Especially the heart. Mmm...

Before Rose could start drooling, a nice loud voice snapped her back to cyberworld. Three contests, last place would be eliminated? That seemed nice and simple to her. Wonder what the challenges would be? She returned her focus to Rodeo, only to notice that she was now looking at a butt. It didn't seem to bother her much as she heard the request. "Shake...? I'm not sure I could shake a Navi big enough to use a tree for a breathing tube...but if you want me to go get her, sure thing!" She merrily skipped over in that direction, but noticed that her heart was starting to beat faster. And faster. Why? She wasn't built for physical tasks, exactly, but it wasn't exactly exhausting. And the reason became slightly more clear as she suddenly stopped in her tracks, just shy of where the surf was hitting land. "Eep!" Well, she knew she couldn't swim, but what was it about this water that was terrifying her so much? Just the idea of a foot getting wet made her legs shake a little. Yeah, there was no way she was going to get out there.

But, she still had to get Kama's attention somehow...maybe if she could throw something at her? ...No, she'd probably somehow pull something. Although...what if she wasn't the one throwing it? Okay, now she knew what to do. The flower Navi lived up to her namesake, and summoned her flower right behind her. She had it extend a vine, but frowned upon seeing the razor sharp thorn at the end, and withdrew it. Let's try that again...and this time, the thorn was extremely rounded at the end. She had it tilt upward, and the projectile was fired. If her aim was true, it'd land right in the tree trunk, and let the other Navi know she needed to get up. And if one wasn't enough, well...there were more where that came from. Lots more.

"Daaaw, that's might kind'a ya, pardner," Rodeo giggled, clasping her hands at the hem of her skirt and wiggling this way and that, with some mix of bashfulness and general silliness. "And don't yew worry 'bout Ginnie here none! T'ain't you, just this island that's got 'er spooked. Horses weren't meant for no desert islands," she guffawed, giving Genevieve a series of overly familiar rubs around the mane and pats on the haunches which her horse seemed to mostly ignore.

"Oh yeah, for sure! Kama's the biggest a'the big, on account of she's a ninjer what got turned inter a giant by a witch, weird as that sounds!" Rodeo chortled. "Eh, I shouldn't laugh. It sounds cool to me, but I reckon it's a big pain fer her," the cowgirl reminded herself.

Rodeo didn't quite know how to respond the entrails comment, returning a confused half-smile, but the time for talking was short anyway as events set into motion. Rose skipped away but stopped short of the surf, experiencing doubts. Her solution? To handle things from far away by filling up Kama's blowpipe.

Perhaps due to her ninja training, or maybe her size, Kama ignored an annoying number of plant materials entering into her air supply. At the point at which the pipe had been gummed up like an ineffective straw, however, she finally emerged, sputtering and abandoning the tree trunk altogether. The giants red-skinned ninja was clad in swim-wear consisting of a yellow-and-black striped two piece, which accented her body well. Discretely speaking, certain parts of her body would have been pretty giant even without the size augmentation. Her long, jet black hair waved in a curtain, briefly blocking out the horizon point as she shook her head. Judging by the huge kunai in one hand, she must have thought she was under attack.

Now out of the water, she would at least be able to hear the instructions being relayed for the first task. "So survival means ya gotta have food, water, and clothing, right?" the hostess asked, seeming to intentionally replace one of the basic necessities. "Navis don't need food and water, of course but they do need clothes! That's why I'm gonna deprive you of that one, at least! You heard it here first: I'm turning on the censorship and you've got exactly three minutes to make something to wear out of the materials around you! If time's up before you finish, too bad, so sad if you get my drift. Just pull off your stuff and put together some new stuff outta that stuff there! At the end, we will judge whose look the best- and more importantly, the worst cause those ones will be exiled from the island!"

"Just remember a couple rules! First off, not a piece of your original clothes can remain on! Second, no preventing other teams navis from getting dressed, there'll be plenty of time for interactive shenanigans later. Thirdly, remember I have to pay for every use of this fun censor blur, so if you're nude when the three minutes is up, you're disqualified! Got it? Got it! I'll count us down... three..."

"Wait..." Kama murmured, perhapsbalready doing mental gymnastics trying to decide how she was going to make anything out of island materials big enough for herself.

"Two!"

"Aha! Got it!" Rodeo exclaimed, finally freeing her brush as her horse helpfully raised its hoof.

"One!"

Rose would have many things to ponder as the time limit ended. She needed to clad herself in something, but on the other hand, Kama was clearly going to have trouble, Rodeo was overdressed for the occassion, and Wasteland was nowhere to be seen. She would probably need to focus not just on herself, but also, her goofball teammates.

One. Two. Three. Four. ...... Thirty...seven, at this point? Sounded right. Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine. ...... Eventually, Rose quit bothering counting, just keeping up the thorn salvo as she looked on increasingly impatiently, though not angrily. C'mon, eventually Kama had to get the hint, right...? As it turned, out, eventually, she did, as she rose up. At that point, the spikes stopped firing, and the flower returned from whence it came. And then she finally got a good look at her. ...Okay, she was big. Really big. Like, how on earth did a Navi that big even exist? And, red skin was pretty odd. Maybe if she was a fire Navi it'd make sense, but considering she was just underwater, that seemed unlikely. And, wow, even if she was normal sized, she'd be super busty. More than her, for sure. Oh, she should stop gawking and start introducing herself. "Hi there, Kama! I'm Rose, one of your teammates! Sorry about that, but it was the only way I could think of to get your attention."

The flower Navi couldn't spend much more time greeting, as she needed to focus on hearing the events. Food, water, and clothing...well, none of those were really necessary for a Navi. Shelter from viruses was nice, though. She knew that from experience.

...

...Three minutes? That seemed like a fairly strict time limit. Luckily, no one said they couldn't start now. It'd be easier to tell what would work and what wouldn't if they were all already stripped...so that seemed like a nice place to start. Rose resummoned her flower next to her, sighing a bit as it dawned on her that, even when she didn't have to have it for health reasons, she was still depending on it a lot. But she didn't have time for options, sadly. Instead, she had it produce three thornless vines, with a few appendages on each, and shot each out towards one of the three Navis, including herself. Without hesitating, the very instant the censorship was turned on, each one started to rip off whatever clothing its assigned Navi was wearing, head to toe, with total disregard for the status of it afterward. She herself did nothing to stop it, actually aiding her vine by taking off her gloves as it ripped everything else off. Based on what was on the ground afterward, it really didn't appear like she wore much of anything beneath her jumpsuit...though interestingly, it seemed that being completely removed of clothing didn't seem to bother her in the least, remaining chipper and unembarrassed.

"Sorry about everyone's clothes, but we can't waste any time. Anyone have any ideas on how you want to be dressed? I'm not a fashion expert, but we probably shouldn't wear TOO much on a tropical island." Without even thinking, her gaze shifted to Rodeo as she said the latter part, but immediately stopped upon realizing it. "Oh, and unless she shows up, we might have to hope that Wasteland's doing her own thing about this...so let's just focus on the three of us for now." A couple of things were starting to take shape in her mind just looking at the scenery and various virus bits, but she wanted input before even thinking about barking out orders. Then again, what if they didn't like getting orders barked at them? What if they wanted her to just shut up? Then they might not be able to be friends...the worst outcome she could personally think of.

Rose proceeded with one of the most forward greetings ever, reaching out her flower's vines to grab at Kama's somehow giant-yet-scant bikini. Pulling it off was hard, but severing it was a bit easier, since it was a little stringy where it could be. The giant ended up crossing her legs and covering both breasts like some ogre pin-up model. One could only imagine Showbizz struggling to censor the whole background once the cameras blipper back on, should Kama fail to become decent. "Hey..." she protested weakly in what seemed like a booming whisper. She quickly splashed down into the water to hide herself, creating a large series of waves in the sea around her.

Rodeo was quickly left in an odd ensemble of leather gloves, cowboy boots a cowboy hat, and a brown bikini with tassels on the upper and lower fringe that someone ought to tell her looked more evocative of a stripper than a cowboy. As expected, she didn't have a lot of figure to cover up. "Tarnations! What in carnations, specifically?!" she complained in a boisterous manner, slapping at the tendrils as they approached. Once her wrists were bound, Rose exposed the rest of the girl's freckled body, causing her to go beat red in the face. "T-t-tarnations!" she squeaked, squeezing one leg over the other in an imitation of Kama's pose. "Lemme go!"

Thankfully, the vines could do that now, especially since she needed to handle the gloves and boots herself. She struggled to do so quickly, finally understanding Rose's actions. "That's some poker face ya got that, pardner," she remarked, wondering how Rose was taking it so easy. Her increasingly worried expression showed that she was wishing Rose's assertive opening had also included some urgent re-clothing of everyone. "Well, land's sakes, uh, what does anyone wear in one o' these places? I guess a hula skirt, some coconuts, and a big ol tiki mask, right?" she asked the others.

"... The mask would really be quite unneccessary," Kama pointed out, already looking over the forest outskirts to try and find some way to turn those outskirts into a miniskirt. Her giant, tiger-print bikini floated in the sea like some kind of great, gaudy parachute. "I can handle myself. You two focus on making something for yourselves," she suggested, knowing that the others would have no luck trying to clothe her given their size differences.

Now divested of her gloves and boots, the nude Rodeo was busily removing her hair ties that kept her big braids in place. "Uh, okay! So we ain't got no coconuts, but those hardhats will work. And we can use them feathers in place o' big leaves!" she suggested, perhaps forgetting there was a forest full of plants with big leaves behind them. Feathers might have more visual flair, but in the end, they weren't going to offer much coverage in the form of length, if she just strung them together as a skirt. "And uuuuh, dang, wish we had some non-thorny vines. All life's givin' us is lemons!" she sighed, beginning to string her mentioned articles together with vines as rope.

Rose might come up with several more sound proposals. At the same time, Kama was busy uprooting trees, then using her kunai to lop off leaves and whittle down bark. Occasionally, she would take the stringy palm tree cuts and wring them into makeshift ropes. She clearly had a plan in mind, though it would remain to be seen if she could complete it in time.

As she pulled up one of the trees, a navi was revealed on the other side. The navi was extremely pale, perhaps with a riding sunburn, with a tall, black, spiky mohawk and a mask covering their face, strangely similar to the aforementioned tiki mask Rodeo had proposed. The mask had two eye holes carved in through which eerie, gray eyes peered. The item was marked up in streaks of blood, including the crude shape of a mouth and markings around the eyes.

Her body was painted with blood-like data here and there too. Amazingly, she was already dressed in jungle gear, including some kind of scorched pelt, forming a wrap around her modest bust and skinny waist. She was carrying a handheld flamethrower gun in one hand and another couple of pelts in the other.

"Aw, mercy! Yer quick, Wasteland! Already dressed up for the contest," Rodeo pointed out, while struggling to fit herself with metool helmets that were woefully oversized for their task.

"... Contest?" Wasteland asked, craning her neck at an odd angle.

Great, everyone was unclothed now. And the others seemed to catch on what she was doing, too. Rose now took the opportunity to look everyone over...not in an ogling way, but more in a matter of fact 'hmm, what will or won't fit on everyone' way. "Poker face? No, I don't think I've ever played cards before. But now that I can see what everyone's like, it'll be easier to visualize what we can put on!" ...Not that that was particularly easy for her. "Hula skirts? No, Jawaii isn't quite like this island. It has lots of people, and cities, and unless they're dressing up for something traditional they never wear hula skirts. At least, that's what my operator tells me. I've never actually been there."

Meanwhile, Kama was suggesting they go on without her, essentially. The all-natural plant Navi shook her head at first, but considering that was the bigger stumbling point for her (literally and figuratively), soon gave up on her non-verbal refusal. "Are you sure? We can still try to help...all right. But please, if you need me for something, don't hesitate to ask!"

Now able to focus on herself and Rodeo, Rose gave the virus parts a lookover, but frowning when the other Navi mentioned the hardhats. "Are you sure? Neither of us have breasts big enough to fill hats that big...I guess if you really wanted to, you could. Augh, I just don't know enough about viruses! I know way more about plants than viruses!...Wait a sec..." She knew plants. And she was standing next to a jungle. Which was full of plants. "Of course!"

She didn't have a lot of time, but she could look over the nearby flora and see...that Kama was engaging in borderline deforestation. However, she recognized the large leaves she was cutting off, and that gave her an idea. "That's perfect! I'll take them!" As much as she didn't want to overrely on her flower, the fact it could retrieve things from a great distance very quickly was much too important to ignore. She pointed at a couple of things, causing the hand-like vines to extend once more, gathering the fallen leaves, and some of the thorny vines. "Okay, I hope this works! Also, I hope I don't break a nail doing all this..." What followed was an incredibly speedy process, and between all the green things, difficult to make out exactly what was going on in the whirlwind of activity. All that could be gleaned was the thorns from the grabbed vines falling to the ground, though oddly Rose picked up one of the longer and skinnier ones. But soon enough, her work was completed, and in her hands. "It worked! I'm glad I paid attention to all of Leilani's stories about Jawaii!" After a moment of putting it on, it became clear what she'd made: a leaf skirt. The leaf length varied slightly, but it averaged around knee level, and enough leaves were used that it did a surprisingly good job covering her up. "Here it is, my very own authentic Jawaiian hula skirt!"

But, something was missing. Rose scratched her head for a moment, before realizing that she'd forgotten something important. "Oh, right! In public, girls should keep their breasts covered. I'm not wholly sure why..." Um, she was running out of time, and while she had a bit of vine, she didn't have any leftover leaves..."Oh! That should work!" Spotting something in the pile of virus pieces, she had her flower grab a couple of them, then managed to tie them together with the leftover vine, and put it on over her chest. It was revealed to be two large round pieces of a Shellgeek's shell, again doing a surprisingly good job of covering her, all things considered. "Wow, this actually cups my breasts pretty nicely. This will work wonderfully!"

Her own outfit settled, the plant Navi dismissed her flower, and checked to see how everyone else was doing...and noticing another Navi that was most likely the final team member. "Greetings! Nice to meet you! I'm Rose!" She waved and jogged over, demonstrating that her outfit wasn't going to expose her from light physical activity. "Nice outfit! Although, did you make that since you got to the island, or is it what you normally wear? If it's the latter, you need to make an outfit, quickly, or we'll be in big trouble!"

"It is fine. I'm used to missions where equipment is 'procure-on-site'. Just... not to this extent, usually," Kama admitted, busily fashioning some form of clothing out of jungle trees and their thick foliage.

Rodeo had the same misgivings as Rose, now that she was in the process of trying to actually wear the helmets as a bra. "Huh... maybe I should cut down to just one?" she asked, sticking her tongue up from one side of her mouth as she tried to rearrange a single one to a position of modesty. It was, of course, not quite wide enough, even given her modest bust. "Gosh dawg it!" the little officer complained in cowboy slang, tossing the helmet against the sand, where, rather than bouncing, it plopped with an unsatisfying thud and partially buried itself. "I don't know much about Jaw-why-yee, but that skirt looks a spit and a shine better'n mine! Can ya help me make one too?" By the looks of the skirt she was starting on, which was a tied, thorny rope and a bunch of leaves tied together at the tips to make fans, it was probably a good idea for her to be the focus of Rose's attention for now.

Watching mostly in silence, although with an odd, heavy breathing behind her over-sized mask, Wasteland stood motionless apart from her breaths. "I was just hunting... I got restless...." she explained, holding her flamethrower gun over her head again and releasing a plume of fire, seemingly without reason. Her eyes seemed to be transfixed on the fire (or at least, one had to assume, since she had her chin tilted up towards it). "He he he..." Well, she might not be great as a conversationalist, but she was pretty proactive for this one specific competition, at least. "I just like to hunt... and eat...." A dubious claim, considering her overly thin body. "Also... who are you?"

"She's Rose! A desert rose- desert island Rose, that is!" Rodeo explained, hyukking at her own "joke," such as it was. "For now, she's makin' my skirt. But I need yew to help me cook up some kinda top!"

"Yeah..." Wasteland agreed, seeming to have a tinge of pity in her voice.

"H-Hey, what are you judgin me for?! Yer not much better!" Rodeo complained, noting that Wasteland's lack of voluptuousness extended to her chest. "Let's just get on it! Find me something that'll work, like some shells or somethin'!"

Nodding, the lanky woman moved over to the pile of virus parts; something about the spread solicited another exceedingly eerie chuckle from her throat. "I don't see shells... hee he... 'sea shells,'" she mumbled to herself, her anorexic shoulders shaking with laughter. "But this slime would work. We'll just rub it on..."

"Aaaw, shucks, okay, if we gotta," Rodeo agreed, standing with her hands over her lap for modesty while she allowed Rose to tie her skirt on. Wasteland got her hands nice and gooey, then went to work, rubbing it in on Rodeo's chest. "Th-That feels kinda...." she stuttered, biting one finger girlishly. It was a bit out of character for her, with all her cowboy talk.

A huge wave swelled as Kama rose waist- high out from the water, now evidently wearing a bikini made of tied up strands, formed from trees and foliage. It seemed like she'd made the bikini from leaves and then armored bark over it, as if she had some reason to suspect her bikini would be attacked. At any rate, it still left little to the imagination, either by design or because she'd run out of time to make pieces. "Good work. It looks like everyone's about ready," she commended the others. "... Is that what you're wearing on the top, Rodeo? Are you showing off for points...?"

"Actually, yer right, we probably oughter make somethin'-"

"TIIIIME! Time's up! You're all done! Drop whatever you're doing cause I'm turning the lights up for our viewers in three-two-one-go!" Showbizz's booming voice interrupted. Rodeo had managed to get her front slathered in slime, though how well it would hold was questionable, and she'd gotten about half a skirt, with the other side around one leg being left bare in a way that almost looked fashionable, but came off as a little provocative as well. "Well, viewers? I hope you're all sending looots of messages about who you think is the best dressed! Look at that one, haw haw haw! Aaaaw, somebody's a little slow, aren't they?"

"W-We did pretty good I think!" Rodeo protested, waving her fists in the air and stomping her feet back and forth, like an angry cartoon character.

Showbizz didn't respond, which might indicate that she was talking about someone else. "There goes the censorship budget! Sorry, guys! I know I made it sound like fan vote would decide this one, but it's actually a disqualification! NetPolice team is oooout! This means that the Shogun team, the Pirate team, and the GNA team advance to the next round! On a side note, I will give extra props to the Shogun and Pirate teams! This is clearly not you all's' first stay on a desert island, is it?"

Kama nodded, as if she took some personal pride in having experience in this sort of thing. Rodeo gave Rose a thumbs up, indicating her appreciation for Rose saving her from a worse wardrobe malfunction than she'd ended up with.

"Of course, you all probably already realized, but at this point, adding anything else to your costumes is forbidden! You play it where it lies!" Showbizz's disembodied voice informed them all. "So, you guys know that really popular video game that all the little kids are playing these days? No? Well, this next part works kinda like it. You just head towards the center of the island. Pretty soon, you'll come across what is preeetty obviously the next challenge."

There was nothing to do but obey Showbizz's voice. For the three regular-sized folks, that would be simple enough. For Kama, she had to leave the water and advance slowly on her knees, so as to avoid tearing down the jungle. If something was supposed to be hidden ahead, there was a good chance she was getting spoilers. For team purposes, she shared that information. "Up ahead... I see something like a vertical roasting spit. I won't be able to turn it..." she announced in a loud whisper.

"Alriiight, everyone. There ya have it: it's time to trap and cook!" Showbizz announced. A line of such roasting spits seemed to be creating a circle across the whole island, with ropes tied around their tops like tether-ball poles. Oddly, one of them already had a spikey on it... it was a little gruesome and primitive to see how it was being cooked. One could only guess it was Wasteland's handiwork. "Now, of course, I'm not talking about some animals or whatever. I'm talking about enemy contestants! For this next one, you're going to hunt down an enemy contestant. Your goal? Get them tied to one of these spits and then 'skin' them! You know what I mean by 'skin,' right? No? Actually, looking at one of you, I think I better spell this out. I mean strip them! Don't worry, I've budgeted the censorship for this part. You just grab an enemy combatant and tie em to one of these things and strip em bare! The last team remaining that hasn't caught anybody gets the boot! If you've got extra time on your hands after grabbing one person, feel free to grab more. Why? Cause it's good for ratings- I mean, cause it may give you an advantage in the next contest, who knows?! Oh, and of course, bonus rewards to first one to tie somebody up! Cause I'm soooo generous!"

Kama murmured quickly, " I think I have a bit of an unfair advantage in this contest."

"Yeah! That's great for us, huh, Rose?" Rodeo nudged her new friend. "Like takin' candy off a baby!" On the other hand, Rodeo herself was so errorprone, it was very easy to imagine her getting hogtied after getting caught in some sort of trap. As for Wasteland... she seemed like the kind of person who would be very eager to capture and threaten somebody, so she might be good in this particular contest. Of course, it was worth remembering that the other teams could potentially be made of pirates and GNA, some of which were expert snipers, so it probably wouldn't be as easy as the last contest had been.

"Okay, time for talk's over! It's time for action! Reeeeeady-set-go!" Showbizz shouted, with one of her trademark fast counts.

"With a view of the island, I can tell... we were probably distributed in a cross formation. That means that the enemies are either there... there... or there," Kama pointed out, hiding her fingers beneath the trees as she pointed. "Unfortunately... I can't go with you. We're already at a disadvantage that I only just realized..."

"Wuuuh?! But why! You can capture these guys no problem!" Rodeo protested.

"Because... I've already given away our position. Both teams are sure to be coming for us now. If I travel with you, your position remains obvious. Pretty soon, even if I'm whispering, my words will be clear to them," the giant ninja pointed out. "On the bright side... there's no way they could capture me. I think." Famous last words.

"Daaw, sheeyoosh. Well, we gots ta go with just us three, gals," Rodeo conceded. "Whatcha wanna do? How bout we just camp here and get the drop on em?" Rodeo pointed out.

Wasteland's breathing quickened and her shoulders tensed up. Finally, she spoke up. "I think you're wrong... Kama's not where they're going to go... they're going to go for the other team... and get that bonus," she posited. It was pretty likely... the chance to grab that sweet bonus Showbizz showed up may be a limited time offer.

"Buuut, is it such a bad thing? Think about it! All we gotta do is not get tied up to advance! If we hide out here, pardners, we can't lose!" Rodeo offered, pointing towards the bushes. "They come for Kama and then we jump out, surprise em! They'll never suspect we ain't even set out lookin' for em!" Rose's speedy thinking earlier seemed to have made them view her as team captain now, so everyone watched her, waiting for her idea.

"Oh? You like it? Okay, I'll help you make one!" It was simple enough. Grab vines and leaves, and get busy with both hands and vines. "I'm not sure how much time we have left...I dunno if I can totally finish it. But don't worry, I'll get the censor areas first!" First the front...and then the back...somehow, the entire time, Rose's hands and vines didn't slip once. "Buuuut...we need something for a top for you, too! I dunno what else works, though..." On the bright side, Wasteland had an idea, and...started slathering goop on Rodeo's chest? Well, it wasn't exactly see-through..."I guess that works. ...Wait, are you enjoying that? Huh, maybe I should try it..."

But there was no time, as the clock ran down to zero. "Uh-oh!" She wasn't done with that second skirt, after all...at least everything was covered. Except for the right leg. "I think you'll be okay. Just be careful!"

And soon, the results were in...a disqualification! And it wasn't them! "Woohoo! One round down!...Wait, which team are we?" Maybe the request had that in there? She hadn't read it overly closely...

Okay, the next challenge. "Really popular game...not a clue. My operator's not much of a gamer, nor is the rest of her family. But, I guess just heading inward'll explain everything, right?" Not much to do but follow the voice, which Rose started to do after dismissing her flower. ...Come to think of it, couldn't Kama just look ahead and see what was going on? A moment later, the answer was revealed to be 'yep'. "A roasting spit...?" ...What was a roasting spit, exactly? Maybe if you were made of lava, you could roast things with your spit, but none of them were.

As they drew closer, it became clearer not only what a roasting spit was, but what was going to happen. Although, wait, what was that..."Is that a...oh. Eww." Poor thing. At least she just drained their blood and called it a day. Also, cooking it meant less blood. Bummer.

Afterwards, there was explanation, and an argument about whether to stay or go after them. And...er, wait, why was everyone looking at her? "Huh?" ...Ohhhhhh. "Oh, um...wait, no! If we don't catch anyone, we lose, so we can't stay put! But Kama gives away our position...oh, got it! Kama, you should go straight ahead. Then, we'll take one of the other directions. At least one of us will find a group, and if everyone's focused on the giant Navi, we can pick one of them off! But which direction...oh, I know. Wasteland, you've checked out some of this island already. Would the lay of the land help us out if we go a certain direction? If it doesn't matter, I guess we three will go...right. Wasteland and I will take point, and you can take up the rear, Rodeo. That way, it'll be harder for them to get that goop off your chest and for us to get yelled at over that censorship budget!" Yeah, that sounded like...a plan that wasn't made up in like 5 seconds.

As Rodeo and Rose celebrated together, the hula-cowgirl suddenly turned her head and raised her eyebrows. "Sheeeyoosh! Yew didn't even know we were the Nee-yo Shoguns?!" Rodeo inquired, ironically also messing up the name slightly. "Weeell, we're just the funniest, hottest new commodity this side's the west or the eastern part of the net! I'll tell ya all about em when we get a bit!" Right now, they had to listen to instructions.

Once everyone's game planning was out of the way, they turned it over to Rose, who decided their best option was to rely on the certainty that the other groups would go after Kama and use that time to ambush them. Kama nodded, but didn't speak... at this point, any words from her risked giving away their plans.

"There is a chance... they're cowards who won't go after a giant... but I think they will," Wasteland offered, seemingly chewing on something behind her mask. It may have been that she tore off a piece of burnt meat when nobody was watching her. Rose questioned her a bit further about the landscape ahead. "To the left... is a waterfall. To the right... is dense jungle. The right side is more flammable... hehehe..." It sounded like her vote was for the right, as dangerous as that sounded.

"I reckon our ambush'll go a lil' steadier if we got jungle and what not to hide in," Roddo agreed. "And I reckon I'll take up the rear if yer that worried about my chances," she conceded easily enough, though she seemed like the type that preffered to take the front. She smirked and crossed her arms (hopefully not smearing the jelly too badly). "Haw, ya'll didn't know ya'll got a secret weapon in this contest! I'm a master of ropes and lasso! Hog-tyin' the whole other team ain't a minute's work for ya'll's truly!" She sounded pretty confident in her skills. Her horse, which at some point had materialized through the jungle next to her, snorted, possibly in derision.

The group headed out around Kama to the right, Wasteland at the front and Rodeo at the rear. Wasteland kept her flamethrower off, in order not to alert the others... or, for that matter, burn the jungle around them. "Hey! Can't ya use somethin like a knife or somethin that won't turn us into crispy taters when ya turn it on?!" Rodeo hissed from the back.

"I could..." Wasteland conceded, seeming to turn her masked face upward slightly in consideration. "... We'll see."

"Gosh dawg it..." Rodeo sighed in frustration. It was an odd grouping, to be sure.

The jungle shook around them as Kama stepped slowly forward. They were the soft steps of a ninja, but they could only be so soft when the feet involved were so big. The group wouldn't get far before, suddenly, a shot rang out on the right fork. A bullet grazed Kama's armor as she dodged to one side, knocking free a chunk of wood and revealing the leaf weave underneath. Of course, the other team wouldn't get points for injuring her, nor for stripping her armor, unless they could also tie her up. One might thereby speculate about the purpose of the shot.

The right side of the jungle seemed to spring into activity following this... The group would hear the sounds of someone clattering through the forest in their direction, one with measured steps, one with decidedly less so. Just a second later, a massive spring noise shot out, followed by a navi flying through the air as if shot by a catapult. Kama turned to grab the navi with her hand, then recoiled as the hand was cut by some kind of whirling blade.

"I am the powerful Red Hare! Fighting me is as useless as fighting the full force of the Global Network Administration!" a booming female voice announced. Her projection was impressive, given that she was so far away it was hard to make out her details. It seems she was dressed in a series of pelts herself and, true to her name, had a long, red mane of hair, or perhaps some kind of headgear. Either way, the body-length pole arm she was using to attack as she clung to Kama's hand was apparent.

"A-And I am Xiezhi! I'm also as strong as the whole GNA!" another voice shouted out from the incoming direction, sounding a little miffed about her comrade taking all the credit.

There was no sign of the pirates yet, but their seemed to be plenty of targets regardless. "We should... prepare a trap... and capture that stupid dog one... hehehehe..." Wasteland proposed, sounding excited. Hopefully, she remembered that their goal was not to eat their opponents.

"N-naw, come on! We gotta help Kama! That enemy's actin' like she's gonna turn our ninja inta chop suey!" Rodeo suggested, watching Kama struggle with the nimble opponent that was doggedly clinging to her hand, seemingly in preparation of moving down the forearm.

A waterfall, or a jungle...well, that was an easy decision. "Then it's settled. We go right. And, flamethrowers off for this part, please. We can't win this if everyone's burnt to a crisp, and, and I really want to emphasize this, I really, REALLY don't want to be burnt to a crisp." Zombies and vampires and the like tended to do poorly with fire. And since she sorta fell into that realm...oh, and that wasn't even considering the fact she was Wood elemental anyway.

"Lassoing? That sounds pretty handy for this part. And the flower I summon can create vines with pretty good reach...although while the vines are pretty quick, the flower itself moves really slow." It was probably at best a backup option to Rodeo's abilities, or for temporarily disabling someone.

The sound of a shot made Rose freeze in place, slightly relieved upon noting that not only was it meant for her, it didn't really harm her intended target, either. This was followed by...a scene that kinda looked like that action movie Leilani had watched not too long ago. But this time, she needed to root for the giant.

Root...hmm. An idea was forming in her head. "Quick change of plans! Wasteland, keep an eye out for anyone else! Rodeo, we need to get over there!" She motioned for her to follow, forgetting that the other Navi had a faster method of transportation. She'd accept any ride offers if that was pointed out, though.

Eventually, they'd reach the giant ninja, and the not-so-giant Navi attacking her. "Okay, Rodeo, I'm going to snatch that weapon from that red Navi. Once I have it, lasso her good!" Rose summoned her flower next to her, and pointed. A thorny vine extended from beneath it, though it seemed to stay close to the ground at first. Once it was underneath her target, it shot upward, until it got close. It began to wrap around the weapon, quickly rising up until it engulfed the whole thing. The other Navi tried to pull it away, but the tip of the vine responded by smacking her with a razor sharp spike, making her recoil in pain and let go of the weapon. As she lowered it down to the ground, Rodeo prepared for her role, flinging her rope forward with a hearty "YEEHAW!"...

...At least, that's how it went in her head. As the flower Navi's flower began to extend its vine upward, she could only hope that it'd go half as well in reality.