The Sketchiest Link Ever

In a quiet corner of KotoNet, amongst the heat and hum of someone's apartment heating unit control system, things scurry about in anticipation of visitors....

A burst of light filled the area as the anxious spider made her glorious entrance into the net. Filled with one of two promises, both equally fitting of her time. The promise of a free reward, or the promise of a chance to let loose some stress and abuse the jerk that sent junkmail to her personal line. It didn't matter which of the two she got to deal with, though she was mostly hoping for the free goods.

"This is totally a trap, you know that right?" Adrian rolled her eyes at the lack of sense her navi seemed to hold in this situation.

"Adrian, Please. Of course i know that, but what if we missed out on free merchandise? Besides, you need to rough up those spammers and con artists once in a while. Teach them your inbox isn't a play ground. They don't know who they are dealing with, and I'm going to show them."

Sylk took a few steps forward from her grand entrance with her many eyes scanning the surroundings. She couldn't recognize where she was; never a good sign. It was like that time she chugged the complimentary drink from the cafe that one time. How was she to know coffee did that to spiders. The net world just didn't make sense sometimes.

She couldn't see anyone and her impatience was begining to show. "Alright, show yourself. It will benefit you more the less my time is wasted!" She threatened as she continued to scan for signs of life.
There were definitely sounds of life. Several somethings were out there amid the rocks and radiators... However, they seemed content to just hide and whisper amongst themselves, rather than come out and confront the increasingly agitated spider-ish Navi. At least, the noises might be whispers?

Sylk's visual scan of her surroundings revealed a small table, one of the cheap plastic folding variety, with a white tablecloth draped over it. Rows of compressed data files were neatly arranged atop it, and a small sign hung from the front of the table with what looked like packing tape: [[b]TAKE ONE[/b]]
As her inspection revealed only one point of interest, cocking a brow as the shoddy table was the only thing here. From the distance she couldn't quite make out what was covering it, and following a brief sigh, casually made her way toward it's vicinity. Her first impression was "Sketchy as all hell."

The compressed data did intrigue her though. She was about to grab one haphazardly, but her instincts got the better of her. After all, she wanted the best prize!

"Adrian, I'm going to try and scan these, think you can try to figure out what they are?" Sylk's many eyes examining the data even trying to gather a hint as to what they could be, compressed or not.
Each file contained a batch executable, a tiny library file, and a ridiculously massive data file in a text format, along side a folder full of thirty script files of varying sizes. As the contents were compressed, opening the files to glean further details was impossible. The compressed packages were all identical, it seemed.
"Sorry Sylk, but not much i can tell you. The files sizes inside are a bit different, but thats about it. Knowing you, you want the largest file size. Middle of the left most row." Adrian knew Sylk would want to biggest file, because of course she would assume it has the biggest pay out. Adrian just remained skepticle.

"Oh, you know me so well dear Adrian." She grinned as she grabbed the file she was informed as the largest. She was excited to find out what sort of glorious prize she was about to claim. Firmly in hand, she attempted to decode and open the file.
As soon as Sylk unpacked the compressed files, the batch program started running. A window appeared:

Quote (System Notice)

- Signatures Locked
- GMOs Locked
- Crosses Locked
- Chip Data Input Locked
- Support Programs Locked
- Folder Preset Loaded
- Manual JackOut Locked

Greetings. Here is a selection of free chips for you to enjoy, and a selection of viruses for you to test them out on. Should anything unfortunate occur, we will of course take care of your old chips for you.

Have fun with your free chips.

-- Anonymous

Preset Folder

The new folder proceeded to load itself directly into Sylk's memory, which was not something a Navi was designed to deal with. Put simply, most Navis had a memory buffer just large enough for five, maybe six chips, with some specialist models being to load as many as 8 at a time.... But this was 30. No Navigator was designed to buffer load 30 battlechips at once. However, how they had planned to make this possible became apparent when the chip data started loading itself into the space normally reserved for Sylk's signature abilities. When it was done overwriting that, it started loading into the space she normally kept her GMO data, and even into the memory buffer reserved for Cross data. When it overrode all of that, and still needed more space, it just filled most of her nearly empty Navi Customizer with the rest. Luckily, there was enough room, and it didn't overwrite that, too. She was going to need to load backups of all this data when she got back to the PET.

The viruses hiding out amid the mess of jumbled terrain, rocks, and radiator controllers suddenly got bolder as they realized something was wrong with the Navi. Three red metools popped out of hiding, and started moving toward Sylk.... They stopped short as the small network platform rumbled, and the terrain shifted. Panels shuffled about, flipped over, of even slid aside to allow objects to fall away or rise into place. When it was over, a 12x12 quadrilaterally symmetrical arena had formed with a 2 rockcube high wall surrounding it on all sides. Each quadrant featured a 3x3 raised area of grass panels in the outer corner, and the surrounding inner area meeting to form a giant plus sign. The central 6x6 area was a checker pattern of grass and cracked panels with four big rocks at the center of each of the 3x3 areas it was composed of. The side areas were pairs of 3x3 panel zones centered made of radiator panels around a 5 rockcube tall radiator tower that stretched off into the sky above. There were 8 towers in all, four rocks in the middle, and four rocks on the raised grass platforms.

The viruses had all panicked, and stood perfectly still while their little world had gone mad around them. Luckily, that had saved their little lives from being dropped into the abyss, crushed, launched into the sky, burned to death, or any one of a number of other things the massive terrain makeover had threatened to do to them... and failed to follow up on. They snapped out of it, and bolted for cover immediately.

Sylk was, likewise, spared, if having your innards replaced with other things could be considered spared. Regardless, she found herself on one of the raised grass plateaus in a corner. The table was still nearby when all the shuffling about was over... it had ended up crushed under a boulder that had rolled over on it. That boulder now rested atop its mangled remains.

--Battle Start!--

Battle Summary
--The Residents--
Metool2-A: 100 HP [Active] (Grass, Next to a Rock, H7)
Metool2-B: 100 HP [Guard] (Grass, Behind a Rock, J3)
Metool2-C: 100 HP [Guard] (Radiator, E12)

--The Spider--
Sylk: 200 HP (Grass, raised area, B2)

--The Obstacles--
Rock-A: 200 HP (Grass, raised area, C3)
Rock-B: 200 HP (Grass, raised area, I3)
Rock-C: 200 HP (Grass, lower area, E5)
Rock-D: 200 HP (Grass, lower area, H5)
Rock-E: 200 HP (Grass, lower area, E8)
Rock-F: 200 HP (Grass, lower area, H8)
Rock-G: 200 HP (Grass, raised area, C10)
Rock-H: 200 HP (Grass, raised area, I10)
Radiator Tower-A: 400 HP (Radiator, lower area, E2)
Radiator Tower-B: 400 HP (Radiator, lower area, H2)
Radiator Tower-C: 400 HP (Radiator, lower area, B5)
Radiator Tower-D: 400 HP (Radiator, lower area, B8)
Radiator Tower-E: 400 HP (Radiator, lower area, K5)
Radiator Tower-F: 400 HP (Radiator, lower area, K8)
Radiator Tower-G: 400 HP (Radiator, lower area, E11)
Radiator Tower-H: 400 HP (Radiator, lower area, H11)
(As per bomber, and due to pally leaving again this thread has been retconed and rendured null and void.)