NP Investigations Interrogation Room

The seated navi watched Shuri enter silently. "I haven't seen you here before," she began, speaking easily with no signs of having been through any kinds of abuse (or of the agitation one might associate with being cuffed to a chair). "Isn't there something about being held captive that's just inappropriately arousing? Especially without the use of either arm. It makes me wonder how many prisoners have had a boner for me while I've overseen their interrogations or ordered their further captivity."

This was an awkward first impression. Breaking it up, a viewscreen appeared showing the face of a young man, presumably her operator. He seemed very handsome, with his straggly, unnatural white hair and similar blue eyes to his navi, with the physique and shoulders of a footballer or some other sort of athlete. He was dressed in a black denim jacket and matching cap. The only thing to detract from his college freshman dreamboat look was a formation of dark rings beneath his eyes, which made it look like he hasn't gotten much sleep the night prior.

"Forgive Bayonet, she's not herself," the man sighed, then took a draw of something from a white, old Netopian teacup that clashed a bit with his rebel-without-a-cause appearance.

"Do you ever get a boner while you operate, Jon?" Bayonet asked, smiling in a way that was attractive, classy, and not at all like if she just asked if her operator got an erection for her.

Jon clasped one hand over his face, then continued speaking through it. "Shuri, my navi has been affected by a virus of some kind... it tricks its host into treating it as a navicustomizer program and then affects all of its behavior. Bayonet has always been a... private person, so I can confirm that her personality has been modified... or possibly even controlled. I don't know if there's any truth to her character right now or not. She may be nothing more than a sockpuppet. That's not your concern regardless."

"You're saying... you want to use me as a sock?" Bayonet joked, feigning surprise. "That's a despicable way to treat a woman..."

Jon moved from palming his face to clawing at it; apparently he had not managed to properly estimate how horrible it would be to show others his navi while she was acting as she was. "The first to spot her was HoundMan; this is while I was still unaware of her infection. The next was Cabal, who learned of it by... I don't know how she learns everything she does. At any rate, this sort of behavior from a Public Affairs officer is altogether unbecoming and I'm trying to keep exposure to a minimum. That said, I need a navi unaffiliated with the NP to investigate a few leads. That's where you, the third witness, comes in."

"Cabal and HoundMan... and a female ninja? What an odd threesome..." the captive mused.

Finally, the other two made their appearance, jacking in nearby Shuri. The former was a hooded woman with pale skin and a white cloak over a black navisuit. All over the cloak, various strings of text had been written in some kind of marker using furious shorthand. She was tall and thin but overall mostly creepy looking. "What do you think of the conspiracy so far? I'm trembling with excitement! He he he..." she greeted Shuri, grinning widely. Her colorless eyes preered out from the darkness of her hood.

"I'm also trembling... somebody hit me," Bayonet ordered.

"No can do, ma'am!" HoundMan answered. He was clearly HoundMan, since not only did he look to have a tall, masculine figure, but he wore dark brown armor including a helmet with pointed vents, amusingly sticking out and up like a dog's ears. The "nose" of the helmet went out far, hiding his eyes, but his lower face looked like a tight-jawed, soldierly male. The rest of his armor was mostly unremarkable, including sharpened claws and boots, as well as a whip-like tail, which was slowly sweeping back and forth behind his back. His undersuit was black and he also wore a spiked collar, which made him look a little like a bad guy. The round eyes of his helmet were lit green, but faded back to black as his ears dropped to neutral position. "Pleasure to meet you, Shuri, I'm rookie officer HoundMan." His speech was so quick that it could almost be called barks.

"He's done well so far to keep the situation under wraps and restrain my navi," Jon praised the dog man.

"He's also got a large penis. I grabbed it earlier before he really knew what was going on," Bayonet added, also giving a sort of praise. Jon drank more coffee/tea and closed his eyes like he was getting a migraine.

"Thank you on both accounts! I aim to please!" he answered; his ears shot back up and the wagging of his armor tail increased. "Of course, this mission is important to me. I'm going to do whatever it takes to put you back to normal!"

"Thanks for the enthusiasm, but we can't be so optimistic. Every conventional method I've tried to remove the virus has failed. We only have one lead left and its not a desirable one... basically, if left on her own, Bayonet will act in this repulsive manner... but she also attempts to travel the net, as if heading towards a specific set of coordinates without awareness of the convenience of a central warp hub. I feel like if we allow her to move on her own, the virus may lead us somewhere... it's possibly even a puppeteer controlling her remotely," Jon theorized.

"The possibilities are spine-tingling! Have you ever noticed how many of the crimes and incidents occurring throughout the net are perverse in nature? I've started a diarama... I definitely smell the work of a shadow master!" Cabal cackled.

"While Cabal tries to clear a path, I want you and HoundMan to pursue her. Since HoundMan is relatively new to the NP, I think that he and guy should be able to follow her safely. My guess is that she's headed either to a Mafia hideout called Hera's Fortune or some similar establishment in NetVegas. If it's the former, your affiliation with the NP for this mission must remain secret," Jon warned the ninja. "My advice is to avoid contact with anyone but you will want to gather information... so once you have surmised your surroundings, it may be wise to adopt a character."

"He's saying you should act like you're possessed by a sex demon as well. I'll show you how to do it once they take the Virtucuffs off of me," Bayonet reassured her in a tone that was hardly reassuring.

"... That may be one option. But we'll hope it doesn't come to that," Jon agreed with a stoic frown. "Are you prepared to accept this mission? I can provide you the requested reward so long as you manage to uncover new leads on this infection. If we find a cure, that's even better."
Though she normally tried not to show much emotion, Shuri immediately raised an eyebrow and gave Bayonet a funny look as she started to talk. This was going to be one of THOSE missions, wasn't it? Her second of the day, too. Fortunately, it turned out her operator was more reasonable, and explained the problem. "I've heard of NaviCust programs that can alter a Navi's behavior. I suppose a virus modeled after one isn't all that surprising." Though, she hadn't heard of many viruses that directly infected Navis. She could only think of one she'd ever heard about, and that one had happened a good 40 years or so ago.

The other Navis beamed in, and Bayonet was right; it was an interesting trio. Just not in the way she was implying. The ninja remained quiet through introductions, despite learning of HoundMan's...largeness in certain areas. After all, Naomi was watching all this, and she'd have a stroke if she knew she was even a little interested in banging a mission partner. Plus, she didn't like the idea of anyone watching her during such acts. Not to mention the fact said Navi was practically a humanoid dog. Hmm, how gauche would it be to do it doggy style with such a Navi? It wasn't going to happen, but it was interesting to think about, at least.

But anyway, the mission came before any of that. Doubly so when the reward was a chip she'd always wanted. AntiDamage just screamed her, what with its deception and throwing of giant throwing stars. "Well, Naomi? I'm fine with it, but if you have any problems, I'll back out." A window appeared behind Shuri, but it almost immediately turned into static. If anyone had EXTREMELY good reflexes, they'd have noticed why: her operator was right in the middle of getting out of her stuffy work clothes, wearing nothing but a bra and underwear at that moment...and by now, if the video feed was restored, possibly not even that.

"Well, we can't let someone mess up personalities like that. It's just not right! We absolutely need to take it up, even if it means you have to have dirty, filthy sex to find things out!"

"...You're the boss..." It was taking every bit of training she had to not snicker at her operator, who was usually the last person to encourage casual, meaningless sex. "I'll do it. And rest assured, nothing I know about the situation leaves this room." One of her biggest talents was keeping a tight lid about anything and everything, after all. That, and throwing her namesake at things with pinpoint accuracy. And she could also provide some witnesses that she was pretty good in the sack. Jury was still out on whether the latter two would be of any use here, though.
"... Thank you for your willingness to go above and beyond, but let's just hope it's not going to come down to that... For my sake, if not yours. Having a possessed navi can be explained at a later date without liability on the NP's part. Hiring a civilian to perform sexual actions in the stead of an officer? Maybe not so much..." Jon sighed, averting his eyes out it politeness to the other operator.

Cabal laughed and waved one hand lazily. "You say that like the NP has never ended up involving civilians in sexual situations before! Weren't you listening when I spoke about the latest web of intrigue?" she whined.

"I'll do whatever it takes too, Sir!" HoundMan assured Jon. Jon made a sour face like he would have prederred not to have that confirmation. "Sir, requesting permission to free Officer Bayonet so that the mission may progress!" The bit of his human face showing beneath his mask did nothing to offset the image his armor set... but even moreso his personality and speech, which made him just like a human dog.

"Permission granted. Cabal, you will need to set up a parameter; do not allow anyone to meet or begin conversation... or preferably to even see Bayonet. HoundMan, I want you and Shuri go stay at a safe distance away. I have a feeling she'll be less prone to vulgar and time-consuming detours if you stay mostly out of her line of sight."

"Sir, yes sir!" HoundMan saluted. With my helmet's sensors I can track her even without sight!" the navi responded, cutting a salute. His eyes shines green, as if to emphasize his point.

"When you first saw him, you started thinking about the way a dog fornificates with a mate, mounting from behind? I wonder if the operator who made him realized how many women were going to become awkwardly hung up on that thought... I know I am," Bayonet mused. "Now, I'm still a virgin myself, but I've heard that penetration from behind is rough, especially for-"

"ENOUGH!" Jon bellowed, but she kept rambling regardless. He decided to drown her out with more authoritative mission commands. "Cabal, get moving. HoundMan, open the gate out and then keep watch on her. Shuri, stay with HoundMan."

"Ma'am! I am fully equipped for various positions, including but not limited to dog! Although, with respect, I have always wanted to try-!"

"HOUNDMAN! Are you infected with that blasted virus too or are you always this way?!" Jon growled, his teacup beginning to clatter against its saucer due to the shaking of his hand.

HoundMan'd ear vents drooped. "Sir, no infection here! I'm must trying to be helpful..."

"Please refrain from speaking to Bayonet until she has returned to normal. Now go!" the operator demanded, swiping one hand towards his screen.

HoundMan moved behind Bayonet to begin unlocking her cuffs. "Oh! Are you going to mount me right now, in front of everyone? I feel anxious..." she sighed, squirming a little.

"I respectfully decline, ma'am! My orders are not to speak with you, ma'am!" HoundMan unwittingly responded. There was a sound like a teacup shattering from Jon's widescreen. "Sir! Virtucuffs disabled! Retreating now with Shuri!"

Cabal had already opened up an invisible passageway, leading out into a relatively ordinary looking hallway with a few more normal looking jail cells (mostly unoccupied). HoundMan ran away quickly to uphold his end of the orders. Shuri would have to run at a quick pace to keep up with him. She noticed that some sort of alarm was going off... likely Cabal's distraction. Hopefully, anyways.

"Aw... now it's just us two girls. I've never tried it with a girl before, but two of my best friends are lesbians, so I try to keep an open mind," she shrugged. She was trying to get her coat more of the way off, but luckily, it was a dress uniform that was not designed to come off easily. Furthermore, her motions seemed weird and clumsy, which led more credence to the remote control theory.

If Shuri wanted to follow HoundMan, she would need to follow him to the teleporter pad at the end of the hall. These particular ones would lead to the lobby, which acted as a hub for some of the department's offices and facilities. Hopefully, Bayonet would follow... in fact, HoundMan was still standing at the end of the hall in a tense pose with his ears perked up, like a dog waiting for someone to throw a bone. Not exactly out of sight, but then again, they couldn't rush through the teleporter without risking losing Bayonet.
"Don't worry, I don't plan on doing it unless I have to. But, if I do have to..." Shuri intentionally let herself trail off as she shrugged, as Cabal went on to make her point for her. It wouldn't be the first time she acted trashy in the name of payment today. Upon her instructions, she immediately began to rush for the nearest shadow, but stopped as she realized HoundMan wasn't going anywhere. Except the gutter, apparently, based on what he was saying. "You're definitely NOT helping by talking, you know..." ...Nope, he wasn't listening. Not even to himself. She found the time to shake her head in half-pity, half-annoyance before running off with the dog Navi. Fortunately, moving with haste was never a problem for her.

Entering the hall, she did what she always did, and ducked into the nearest shadow...or she would've, but the few shadows in there were definitely smaller than a ninja, even ones that didn't have giant shuriken attached to their back. She compromised with herself, and ducked behind the wall next to the door, so she'd still be hidden from Bayonet's view. From there, she basically froze, making no non-vital movements, as she waited for the infected Navi to go through. That way, there'd be eyes from all directions as the officer moved that way. Well, assuming she went that way, anyway. But, that part wasn't her concern.
HoundMan drooped his fake ear vents pathetically at the scolding... it would be cuter if he was a dog rather than a grown man dressed as a dog. "I'll do better, ma'am!" he saluted Shuri before bolting into position (his position as related to his duty, not his fantasized sexual one).

Bayonet sighed and crossed her arms across her chest as Shuri disappeared from sight. Evidently, by how lonely she was acting, she must have either a limited range of sight, limited depth of comprehension (like how a baby thinks his daddy leaves when he covers his face), or both. "Don't play hard to get... I've been doing it for a long time and trust me, most do not go for it," she murmured, walking forward slowly like a sleepwalker, occassionally stopping to grab at things. She appeared to have completely lost track of Shuri as she stumbled past the hiding spot towards the teleporter. "There's the dog again! Hold still and I'll give you a treat!"

Shuri could see the unfortunate navi's lower lip quiver as he fought against his instinct to do whatever the hell anyone asks him to, apparently. He slowly backed towards the gateway, luring her towards it...

To his surprise, she suddenly built up speed and lunged forward in a dive, like some zombie out of a horror movie. He yelped and dashed to the side. The good news: she went in. The bad news: she was temporarily out of sight and probably hit her head on the wall before she warped. "Holy cow! That was a close one," HoundMan panted (like a dog, which he was still theoretically only dressed as).

Jon popped up again nearby HoundMan. "After her, you two! She should be in theevacuated main lobby now. It will be easy to lure her out," he ordered.

"Aye aye, Sir!" HoundMan answered... then leapt into the teleporter himself, as if that was the only way through. This time, Shuri was positive she heard a metallic smack, probably his helmet hitting against the wall.

Bayonet's operator placed one hand to his face with a grim frown. "Honestly? He was doing so well maintaining secrecy of the operation at first. I just don't understand..." he whispered to himself. "Maybe I just hadn't gotten to know him... Regardless, I see now that you are going to be pulling the weight, Shuri. Do your best to keep things under control."

When Shuri managed to join the others, she would find that HoundMan had managed to bounce back from his injury. That was good. What was not good was that Bayonet had nearly made it to the door out (she would use the front door rather than the back), only to encounter the orange-armored Public Safety Officer, DimensionMan. Officers had been ordered to evacuate the building, but he'd come back... it was either genuine concern for his allies inside or baseless bravado. "Bayonet! Are you alright? Has everyone evacuated? What about the prisoners?" he inquired in a blur that she could easily have responded to in a prompt fashion, if she had her wits.

Instead, she responded by pinching her thumb and index finger together and raising her remaining fingers: a sign for "okay." Well at least that had worked out; DimensionMan smiled and started to leave...

When Bayonet moved the "okay" gesture to her mouth and started using it to stroke some unnamed length of invisible something or other back and forth in the air, whilst sticking out her tongue and opening wide in a vulgar display. HoundMan started panting nearby, hopefully out of worry and not excitement. DimensionMan stared with an awkward grin... his black shades hid his eyes but he clearly had not caught on to what she was doing, exactly, probably because it was so out of character. Shuri would need to explain this one, and fast.
Fortunately for Shuri, the infected officer apparently believed she vanished off the face of the earth, and instead went after HoundMan. She'd give herself a pat on the back for a successful hiding job, but she had the feeling that it wasn't exactly tough to do that right now...and why was everyone leaping into the teleporter? She ran over to it, but, like a rational Navi, slowed down as she neared it, in part due to being addressed. "I started to get the same feeling, myself...I'll strive to not let you down." Her first step in accomplishing this: warping without diving in head first and getting a headache. And she would've definitely gotten one, considering her lack of a hard helmet. Good thing she was born with that surprisingly uncommon of gifts, a rational thought program.

And she needed it, as she emerged in the main lobby only to find that she had a problem named DimensionMan there. She knew the Navi from appearance alone, though she'd never actually met him in person. The ninja inwardly flinched at the situation, but remained as stoic as ever on the outside, and rushed over to try and address the situation. "I understand your confusion. Bayonet here is simply...testing some new call signs. I believe that one signifies that everything is running smoothly, but there's little time to talk, and it would be for the best if all non-essential personnel left. I know, it resembles something else, not to mention that it's hard to do for Navis with obscured or non-existent mouths, such as myself...I'm sure it'll be brought up and fixed at the next meeting. Now, if you'll kindly take your leave, we must continue with our rounds." Hopefully, any further questions like 'who was this mysterious ninja Navi?', or 'why did no one catch that a call sign looked suspiciously like a blowjob?' would be overshadowed by sheer urgency. And if she was lucky, the other Navis would even cooperate...but somehow, she wasn't banking on that. At least she was used to being the only competent Navi in a given mission.

...Speaking of being the only one, Naomi was being awfully quiet. Most likely, she was just in shock from what the mission consisted of, since she could sometimes be a bit of a prude when it came to this sort of thing. Good thing she wasn't around for that last mission, or else she'd have ended up with an aneurism or something...
"Yes, sir! She's right! It's protocol!" HoundMan agreed, rushing to Shuri's aid. To demonstrate, he mimicked the motion himself, which was not at all pleasant to look at. DimensionMan looked slightly repulsed, as though seeing HoundMan do it brought to mind exactly what it was reminding him of.

"Y-Yeah, we'd better fix that..." DimensionMan agreed. "So who are you, anyways? And what do you mean rounds? Is this just some kind of drill that I didn't know about?" he asked, looking around. Hearing that the group was making their rounds and furthermore that everything was running smoothly had destroyed whatever sense of urgency he'd had in proceeding to investigate the building.

HoundMan's helmet-ears perked up again as he realized that Shuri had dug herself into a bit of a spot; to assist, he began to rush along with Bayonet, shoving her from behind. Shuri heard her mutter "so, we are going to do it after all?" as the two exited out the front door. On the bright side, the two were out of DimensionMan's sight, but on the other hand, Shuri wouldn't be able to keep an eye on them. At least Jon should be able to keep HoundMan more or less on task.

"Say, you are NP, right?" DimensionMan asked again, tapping his foot as he inspected the ninja more carefully. "I don't think I remember seeing someone like you around with the latest recruits, though... Maybe I'd recognize you without the mask?"
The very act of seeing HoundMan mimic it pretty much ensured that Shuri was turned off of oral sex forever. Granted, she wasn't a very big practitioner anyway, what with it requiring she not have her mask on, but that...that was the kind of thing that made her want to tamper with her backup files, just so that she wouldn't have to spend the rest of her life risking remembering it.

Either way, DimensionMan's refusal to take things at face value was a bit worrisome...not that looking at the ninja would show anything other than somewhat disinterested stoicism. "This is no drill. But I'm afraid the exact situation is rather sensitive information, so I'm forbidden from sharing, even to someone like you. As for who I am...I'm afraid that's classified as well. All I can tell you is that I'm specialized for precisely this sort of task." Wow, she got this far without flat out lying. Shuri was mildly impressed with herself. "And for the record, I wouldn't advise even bringing up my mask unless you like sharp objects in sensitive areas. That's information that no Navi on earth is cleared to know." And this was true. She could be wearing absolutely nothing but her face mask, and act unfazed. And yet, if she was completely covered head to toe except her face, she'd feel completely naked, especially if someone else was around. She was weird like that, but it was why the mask so rarely came off.

"With all that said, we must keep all exposure to a minimum. There are already several NP Navis at work to solve the problem, including Bayonet and HoundMan like you saw. Any additional personnel may create a safety hazard, so I must again ask you to leave." And aside from one detail, that wasn't really untrue. There were NP Navis on the job, it was just that Bayonet was the actual source of the problem, not part of the solution to it. And as for the safety hazard, well...if Bayonet was allowed to do what she really wanted to do this moment, it probably WOULD create some sort of Navi health code violation. Now, please DimensionMan, go away. She had other pressing matters to get to.
DimensionMan frowned, as though Shuri's story was bringing to mind something perhaps unrelated and definitely unpleasant. "Can't say I approve, ma'am. This shadow-business in the NP can't be doing anyone any good... not in the office, anyway. If you can't trust your allies, who can you trust? I need to know why my fellow officers are doing what they are. Lately, there's been a lot happening and I have zero clue towards any motivation for it," he sighed. "But I'm going to look the other way on that and the threat to a fellow officer since you said Bayonet is assisting you. After all, if the NP can't trust her, who can they trust?" The public safety officer was pretty good at giving an enthusiastic salute, even when he wasn't in the right mood, so he gave Shuri a well-executed gesture before taking off again. Well, DimensionMan's day might have gotten a little more sour, but not nearly as much as Bayonet's would have if she'd had to answer questions about why she was acting like an aggressive prostitute around a fellow officer.

---------

Once Shuri made her way outside, she could easily find herself worried in that Bayonet and HoundMan were nowhere in sight. Luckily, their destination was pretty obvious: there was a warp pad leading to a NetVegas outpost not too far from here, easily indicated by some tax-payer funded signage. From what Jon had said earlier, it's likely Bayonet hadn't tried to go there herself... HoundMan must have had to guide her there. If they were headed on foot, though, there's no way that the two wouldn't be out of sight; they could only have used the warp pad.

Luckily, Jon was able to pop in via viewscreen with some useful information. "Shuri, there you are. The two are on their way to NetVegas. HoundMan's dragging her and it's... not pretty. But once she's in Vegas, he'll let her go again. Now, I'm transferring you the coordinates..."

((Topic opening soon in NetVegas))
"Mmm, I can't say I don't agree, but I have my orders." Well, she couldn't say it...because if she did, she'd basically be violating said orders. Otherwise she absolutely would, since without shadowy business, she'd have much less well paying work. Still, the important thing was that he was indeed leaving. "Thank you for your cooperation, sir. It's greatly appreciated." Now don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Now that she was free, Shuri backtracked, and followed to where the other Navis had gone...it might've been somewhat problematic, if it wasn't for the conveniently labeled NetVegas warp that screamed 'Hey, we went this way!'. Bayonet's operator confirmed as much, and sent her some handy coordinates. "Understood. On my way." She dashed over to the teleporter, but stopped just short. There was something she wanted to double-check before heading off. "Still there, Naomi?"

"Yeah..."

"You've been awfully quiet so far. Any reason?"

"I just...don't really have much to add, I guess. This is really more up your alley."

"I won't argue with that. Still, in case something comes up, you should keep an eye out. Ah, I know something you can do. Take off your skirt, and if I need a distraction, I can just put up a live feed of your ass for everyone to gawk at while I do what needs doing."

"...ARE YOU INSANE?!"

"What? It's not like they'll see your face, anyway. And you'd really be amazed at what men will ignore if you show them a nice behind."

By now, the operator was curled up in a ball from sheer embarrassment at the suggestion. "We are NOT doing that! No way, no how!"

Though it was impossible to see through her mask, the ninja Navi had a nice big smile, and trying not to giggle. To her, it was always funny to tease Naomi for being downright prudish compared to her. "...Just a suggestion to get you involved." All right, enough of that. She calmed herself down a bit, and walked onto the warp. With those coordinates input, the next phase was about to begin.

(TO NETVEGAS)