The Hunt for Epic Fail Guy?!

A beam of light shot from the sky. As it struck the ground, the light pooled into a human outline. The silhouette's features solidified, and resolved themselves into the armored form of Broadside.EXE.

"I have arrived in YumNet. All systems nominal." he informed his Net Operator, J.T.

((WhiteGuard.GMO active))
Out of nowhere was a small explosion from which Djinni emerged after the flames dwindled. Appearing with arms held to their respective sides, she conjured a big smile on her face until she noticed something different. Below her body she saw a small patch of grass burning away and quickly put it out with her tail. "I'm gonna have to be careful, don't I?" she asked, glaring sideways at the environment.

Sliding through the air, she headed to Broadside's side and started to talk to him, "Where do we go next? I forgot to check the message we had received..."
The area around you is a wide-spread grid of winding roads for as far as you can see. In the spaces between the grids stand website buildings, citizens bustling in and out of them. You deduce that you are located in one of Yumlands central servers.

"Ah, hello sirs!"

You turn to see a young man with short, navy blue hair, one of those small sailor hats, a white military uniform, black shoes, black trousers and a bishie face. He greets you with a well practised salute.

"Welcome to Yumland, sirs.", he beams at you, "My name is Cobalt, and my partner is Miss Temmir. We are here to assist you in capturing the masked terrorist."

Behind him stands a large, tower-like structure. The base is about seven metres wide with a small flight of stairs leading up to the main entrance. Through the glass doors you can see a fairly empty reception desk, some bench-like seats and a few interior doors. A large sign above the entrance states "Yumland NetPolice Department D-1".

At the top of the stairs and leaning on a wall is what appears to be the other officer. She is wearing a round helmet with a wide brim that shadows her face. A dull red robe with a golden lining is worn closed around her body. A single arm extends from within the robe, holding a book. She seems very drawn into it's contents, as she does not even acknowledge your presence. Leaning next to her on the wall is what seems to be a curved wooden staff connected to the back of a nasty looking rocket launcher.

Parked at the side of the stairs is a massive, floating vehicle. It looks like a mangled combination of a wheel-less tank and a robotic shark that ate a motorbike shop.

"We don't know when the culprit will arrive, so please make yourself comfortable while we wait. If you have any questions, feel free to ask."

---People to Talk To---

Cobalt: A sincere enough officer who seems eager to work for the NetPolice.

Temmir: Interested only in the mission. Minimal response.

---Examinable Areas of Interest---

The Yumland Street

The NetPolice building

The Large Vehicle
Broadside nodded in acknowledgment of Cobalt's words, but said nothing. He turned his head to address Djinni and asked her to "Wait here for one moment, please. I'm going to shift forms and begin searching the area." He then turned, walked over to the space around the side of the building and just in front of the armored hovercraft. (It was the only place he could see that didn't directly obstruct traffic, after all.)

Once there, the six foot tall, unassuming looking Broadside reached up with his right arm (the arm not currently resting in a sling), and tapped the Navi Emblem on his torso. His form's features dissolved into a mass of light. The mass then began to grow, with the outline shifting from a rounded human form to a blockier and more angular shape as it did so. The image finally resolved itself into the form of a heavily armored battlemecha standing approximately 5 meters tall. And one that had managed to stand somewhere that wasn't blocking traffic.

"Establishing search perimeter. Launching remotes." Broadside announced as, one after the other, the six obelisk shaped remote weapon platforms known as Hunter/Killers disengaged from their racks, slid downwards, and then took off into the air. They split up, each assigned to its own search zone. One hovered about the vehicle, scanning it for greater detail. Another scanned the building and the few Navis around it. The last four set up a perimeter around and above the NP station, watching the streets unobtrusively from above. All of them moved silently, quickly, and precisely on their gravitic drives. They were all armed, able to sense the world around them, and interlinked with each other and Broadside.

Thanks to this capability, Broadside not only sensed things in his immediate area, he was also able to cover everything in each of the H/K's sensory range as well. He did, however, find this effort somewhat taxing. It had been several months since the last time he'd employed his remotes in any capacity whatsoever. It would take time to fully adjust to both monitoring their feeds and controlling their actions. Thankfully, the situation was currently calm enough to give him a little time to adjust, at least a little...

He began processing the data coming in....
Waiting as she was ordered, she looked around cluelessly until one of the Hunter/Killer remotes came flying past her. "What?" she asked herself with a twitch in the right corner of her mouth out of shock, then turned to the origin of it. "I didn't know shifting forms would be this drastic," she said in Broadside's direction, not knowing if he could hear her or not, "But it looks kind of cool. Might need some sparkles. Oh, and glitters!" These idea of adding glitters to Broadside's form made Djinni excited as she floated over towards him. "Hey, let me know if something's happening," she said after reaching his side, "You tell me where's something happening, I'll go there." With that said, she sat down on the ground with her transparent tail forwards and pulled her turban over her eyes. But before she could fake any snoring sounds, she got interrupted by her Operator.

"Don't even think about it," said Na'im as he glanced at Djinni, "And don't throw a fit."

The turban still covering the eyes and the veil covering her nose and mouth, it wasn't really visible that she was pouting at this command. Sliding the turban back again, she nodded and remained quiet until she'd hear something from Broadside. "Wait," she muttered, realizing she was forgetting something, and turned towards the 'helpful' Navis that were supposed to assist them. "Sorry, but we can take it from here," she said, "Take the day off and give us a biiiiig reward!" The last was said with her arms spread to both sides only to slide them back to her sides, waiting quietly for Broadside.
Cobalt recoils in shock at being so nonchalantly dismissed.

"W-w-well... if you think that's for the best...", he replies, rubbing the back of his head, somewhat taken aback.


The white clad navi turns to his partner, Temmir, who had addressed him.

"Law 5 Concerning Issued Assignments.", she states, still reading her book.

"Er... that would be... um... th-"

A stream of blood-red fire washes over him before he could finish his sentence, scorching him gray.

"Once consciously accepted, a mission must be attempted.", Temmir recites, placing the boomstaff back where it was. This action revealed her to be wearing black, knee-high boots and a dark red skirt. Cobalt's burnt out figure turns back to the temperamental twosome.

"N-no can do, Sir...", he coughs, "It's m-my duty..."

Meanwhile, somewhere above...

H/K 1-6 Tasks Verified.


H/K Tasks Completed.

Receiving input.


Object Investigation: Netpolice Dominion Tank MDL XIII / "Sharkbite",

Visual Representation

Subject is one of many prototype law enforcement programs developed to counter increasing volume of Netcrime and viral disturbances. Cylindrical body structure with a rounded front and an elongated tail. Front end graphic resembles the face of a snarling shark. Equipped with Omni-Gravity engine for propulsion, steering and preventing the heavy weight from causing damage to the Net Surface. A railing is present around the top of the vehicle, possibly used to transport passengers. A hatch to the inside of the vehicle is located there.

Primary weapon/s: Harmonizing Neo-Orbs / "Ballcannons"

Weapon utilises the Omni-Gravity engine to move itself around the outside of the vehicle. This flexibility allows it to swiftly alter it's target with ease and precision. Two orbs are stored in a rear compartment.

Secondary Weapon/s: Howler-Class "Anti-Everything" Turret

A rotating, five-barreled minigun hidden within the "mouth" of the vehicle. Fires a devastating spray of buster fire directly ahead.



Object Investigation: Yumland Netpolice Building,

Subject is a relatively new structure, built to aid civilians in expanded area by having a close contact to the NetPolice. Data Security shielding is preventing interior scans. The Tele-Tower located on the roof of the building receives distress calls from a wide range, and can send officers through the signals to swiftly lend their services. The primary signal is connected to the Yumland NetPolice Headquarters. An unidentifiable object is located at the base of the tower as the strong wavelengths and security shielding is impeding progress.



After mapping the area, Broadside recalled 2 of his 6 H/K's. They flew back to his location, lined up, and slid back into the hangar racks located on his back without any problems. This task accomplished, Broadside spoke up suddenly, and shared his findings with the other Navis. "Preliminary scans complete... There is an unidentified object on the roof of the NetPolice Station. It is located at the base of the com tower, near the far-rear corner of the building. It is shielded against scans." He turned to look at Temmir and asked "Should there be such an object present at this station? It does not appear standard."
"You know..." Djinni started out of nowhere with a finger against the veil covering the bottom of her face, "I'm wondering why they didn't put more agents here." Sliding away from Broadside, she looked at the building with her hand now above her eyes. "Maybe..." she continued, almost whispering, "Maybe... Ah!" Djinni punched her right hand into her left hand and nodded. Pointing at the building before her, she shouted out loud, "This must be a top-secret building with a laboratory below it! No one is allowed to know of it!" After coming to this baseless conclusion, she crossed her arms and nodded before speaking again. "We are the only ones who know of it," she said, thinking it was something good but then realized something else. "Wait..." she muttered, her arms still crossed, "If it's secret... And we know of it..." Djinni remained quiet for a bit longer until she came to another conclusion. "AH!" she exclaimed and turned to Broadside, "They will wipe our memories after this is done! We know of their secrets!"

"Here she goes again," Na'im muttered and sighed.

Back in the NetWorld, Djinni kept on going with her baseless complaining. "I'm too young to have my memories wiped! What if I can't remember who I am?" she shouted, then started to think about who she was. A few seconds of silence before she exclaimed, "I forgot who I am! It's already happening!" And suddenly, as if a program of common sense was sent to her, Djinni looked up and asked, "Is anything going to happen soon? Just let me know where I have to go..."
"On the roof?", Cobalt repeats, suddenly all better now. He folds his arms to increase his mental thought process. "If anyone was up there, it would have been automatically reported to security. Haven't been there myself, though. Meh.", he shrugs, "The netpolice is always coming up with wierd things, so It's probably nothing to worry about.", he concludes, waving away the problem.

He is answered by a second rush of flames, which also tears through Djinni and her mad rant.

"An unidentifiable foreign object has a high possibility of belonging to our suspect. Since the previous offenses were all different, we have little idea how they will approach, and destroy, their target." She closes her book and stores it within her person. "Mr Broadside, it would be wise to study it further. Please retrieve it."

"M... Miss Temmir~" ;~;
"Understood." the big Navi said as he looked down at Djinni. "Djinni, there is an object on the roof of the NP building that they have requested we retrieve. It is likely a bomb. Caution is advised."

Jared's screen image appeared before Djinni. "Give me a moment, and I'll relay the footage to you." He paused for a moment, touching a holographic interface in several places, eventually causing a second window to appear before her. "There we go." In the window was a live image of what one of the four H/K's was seeing at that moment. It was a birds-eye view of the object on the roof, sitting at the base of the tower. Not very helpful by itself...

"Aaaand... something more helpful compliments of Broadside." As he finished speaking a third window opened, showing Djinni sitting next to Broadside from another high-view perspective. The view zoomed in, and highlighted Djinni helpfully. Once it had established that it could see her, the camera view rotated to the right and upwards showing the object on the roof of the building, and hopefully giving Djinni an idea of where it was relative to where she was.
"Ah, video!" she exclaimed as Broadside showed her the first video window with the unidentified object, "Finally some entertainment." She sat down on the ground, looking at the window and grasped around trying to look for a bag of popcorn. "Don't we have some popcorn chip?" she asked as she looked upwards at Na'im, "A show needs popcorn!"

Na'im browsed through his chips and shook his head as he started to talk, "No, I put the Cornshot chip into that de-" But then he realized what was going on. "Please focus on the mission!" he shouted through the PET's microphone, "We have to get rid of the suspect's ammunition."

Looking sideways, left first and then right, she eventually looked at Na'im and said, "Maybe I'll need popcorn for that." After this, she looked back at the screen and sighed, "Besides... There isn't much action on this window." But then the third window appeared and immediately she uttered a glee of joy. "That's me!" she exclaimed and floated upwards from her sitting position, pointing at herself. She made some various poses, each sexy and exaggerated, but then she looked closer at herself. "Hang on a second..." she muttered and looked at herself carefully. "Do I have something between my teeth? Is my hair alright?" she continued to mutter, baring her teeth first and lowering her head afterwards to check her hair. She then looked to the right side and screamed, "Who smudged my veil!? I demand an answer!"

"Djinni!" Na'im shouted to try and get his Navi back to her senses, but with the opposite result.

Pointing at her Operator, Djinni continued to shout, "You smudged it!? My own Operator!? I can't believe this! Why am I working with these amateurs!? Get me my manager!" She turned away from the windows and floated away from them slowly.

"Sorry about this, JT... She gets like this once in a while," Na'im said as he sighed. "She'll turn around in a bit, I hope" he continued, "She's only intolerable when she starts to mope. Djinni, the object you have to get is on the building."

"I know that," Djinni said after she turned around and slid back to the windows. She then pointed at the one that had appeared as second and turned with her face to Broadside, "This one right? Can you help me get up there?"
"..........................................................." Jared managed not to burst out into laughter at the pair... barely. He quietly closed the window he'd opened in front of Djinni, then began to snicker a bit as her antics continued. "Ahh, don't worry about it." he said to Na'im, his voice carrying an amused tone; "She's not the only one who can be a handful at times."


Meanwhile, Broadside, for the most part, didn't care one way or the other about Djinni's antics. He didn't ignore her, but he didn't react either. Eventually she asked him for help...

"Affirmative." Broadside responded as he began to kneel down on one knee. Once he managed that, he turned his torso to face Djinni, and laid his huge metal hand upon the ground, open, and palm up. "Climb on, and I will lift you to the roof."
Crawling onto Broadside's hand, she saluted at him and started to speak. But what came out of her mouth had a certain melodious tune to it similar to singing, "Can you take me higher? To a place where blind men see. Can you take me higher? To a place with golden streets!" Becoming quiet again, she put on her serious face and glanced at Broadside. "Just get me up there," she sighed, "This place is cramping my style."
"As you wish..." he said, as he curled his fingers just slightly before he moved his hand. There's no need for her to fall.... He then lifted his arm carefully as he stood up straight again, then turned to face the building. He then stepped towards it, and raised his hand up towards the roof, and uncurled his fingers again. He'd done all of these actions quite smoothly, though from an onlooker's perspective, it looked more than a little clumsy thanks to his blocky build.

Broadside added "I'll be monitoring remotely. Signal me if you require assistance."
"You know," Djinni started as she left Broadside's hand and floated over to the object, "It's kind of funny how Broadside talks." Stopping for a second, she looked up at Na'im and continued to talk to him, "Hey, can I talk like him?"

"..." Na'im didn't bother reacting to it, knowing she'd do it anyway but just to humor himself he started to talk to her. "No," he said with a stern look on his face, "I absolutely forbid you to talk like him. It's an absurd concept." Afterwards, he put up a calm look on his face again and browsed through things on the PET.

"OK!" Djinni exclaimed, thought it through, and coughed softly before talking again, "Eh, I mean... Affirmative." She continued to float towards the object, waving her arms around in a stiff way like a robot would and stopped in front of it. "Executing pick up. Acknowledging presence of target object," she said, trying to imitate a robotic tone with her voice. Bending over her upper body, she grabbed the object with both hands and picked it up. Carefully, she turned around and returned to Broadside with the object. "Retrieving object," she muttered, "Object is unknown. Caution is advised." Slowly she floated back onto Broadside's hand, the object firmly in her hands without trying to give it sudden movements. "Bottom floor, please," Djinni said as she looked at Broadside's face which was actually in sight for a change.
Broadside lowered his arm and turned to look back out upon the street after Djinni floated onto the roof. He stod there monitoring her progress, just as he'd said he would... He allowed himself to smile in amusement as he heard the fire Navi mocking his manner of speech. Even more amusing was the total randomness of it.

Most Navis would be offended. But you? You actually acknowledge how silly it is. I didn't expect that from you.

As Djinni finally started back with the object, Broadside banished his amused smirk, turned once more, and raised his hand for her to climb back into. Her mocking him while she was retrieving the object was somewhat amusing to him. But, given her penchant for exaggeration, letting her know it would be... unwise.

Instead, Broadside responded with his usual neutral tone "As you wish...." With that, he lowered his hand to the ground again, having to once more kneel to do so.

JT smiled at the PET screen but said nothing.
Sliding off Broadside's hand, she raised the object into the air by raising her arms and floated over towards the helpful people. "Object retrieved!" she exclaimed, then coughed as if it was a sign to herself that she was changing her way of talking, "I mean... Look what I got!" Ending in front of them, she placed it onto the ground and slid her finger under her nose from left to right in a wise-ass way. "I'm good, aren't I?" she said with a grin and then pointed at Broadside with her arm stretched, "And he helped too! We're an awesome team!" The hand she was using to point at Broadside changed to a thumbs up, even without knowing what the object would have in store for them.
The object is similarly shaped to a small, black coffin. Aside from a round indention on the top, it is completely featureless. Temmir, who is now standing on the battered body of Cobalt, gives it a thorough look over.

".....It's not something i'm familiar with.", she concludes. She reaches out to examine the small rounded crevice.


A figure poses on the top of the website opposite the police station. It leaps gracefully off the structure, but somehow trips mid-air and comes crashing face first into the ground. After a few seconds of awkward silence, the figure picks itself up and points at the black box.

"Don't open that door! Er, wait. That's not right..."
Turning her head towards the source of the voice, she felt something click inside her programming. The image of the culprit they had received from the NetPolice flashed in front of her eyes, while Na'im slotted in chips as he looked up the image again and realized they had to get him somehow. "Target..." Djinni muttered, somehow expecting Broadside to finish the sentence as the crystals upon her bracelets shattered within the split of a second. As soon as they had shattered, sand started pouring out of it and circle around the bracelets. After enough had collected, she clapped her hands together and the sand spread only to disappear before the eyes of others. Almost as soon as it had disappeared, the sand reappeared and started to form a circle, like a tornado of sand, around the culprit which slowly decreased the space he had to move in until he wouldn't be able to move anymore.

Not wasting any time, she immediately loaded the next chips. The crimson jewels in her bracelets reformed themselves as flames started to collect around them. "Hey," Djinni shouted at Cobalt and Temmir, "Stop him before he has the chance to get away! One of you occupy the vehicle so you can chase him immediately if he does get away! If not, use its weapons." During the time she was conversering with the others, the bracelets had started spinning which turned the flames into a ring around the bracelet. Targeting the culprit, being capable of seeing him through the veil of sand, she thrust her right arm at him. The ring of flames flew forwards, changing to the shape of a fist as it passed her hand and resumed its path towards the target. Any sand that got scorched on its way immediately reformed itself out of scratch, but although the sand didn't stop her sight from pinpointing the culprit it did render her unable of seeing if the projectile connected. "Another time," she whispered to herself, not to tell her actions to the enemy and reeled her left arm back. The other ring of flames was sent to the target as she thrust her left arm as well, the graphics changing in the same way as the previous one.

Immediately after that she created two flames within her hands and quickly forced them against each other by clapping her hands. Now one flame formed in the form of a closed circle, she grabbed it with her right hand after sliding to the left side slightly and formed a string of flames attached to it. "Don't think about counter-attacking," she whispered and swung the weapon towards her opponent, the string tightly in her hand, as it rolled over the ground. Halfway on its path towards the enemy, the flames shattered and revealed the form of a golden Yo-Yo with blades sticking out of it. "Thanks, Marid," Djinni whispered again, glancing at the flame Marid had possessed as she knew the Yo-Yo weapon had already found its path. She made sure to roll it so it would stop, wait and then return while within the ring of sand and as such, it eventually returned along the line of flames.

1. Snipe - Sandring [Hold 1 For 2 Turns; Increased Accuracy; Ranged] @ Culprit
2. Firehit1 [60 FIRE + 20; Ranged] @ Culprit
3. Firehit1 [60 FIRE + 20; Ranged] @ Culprit
4. Yo-Yo1 [40 DMG x 2-3; Read Chip Description; Ranged] @ Culprit
Still kneeling, Broadside turned his head to look at the new arrival. It took him no time at all to match his sensor data to the target profile in his memory. "Target acquired." Broadside said in tandem with Djinni, completely by accident. When he realized he'd been pre-empted, one of his eyebrows flew up in a combination of wonder and mild surprise... Not that anyone could see that through his armored face guard.

Jared started to snicker as he heard the two. "Well, I suppose you're officially predictable Broadside." he added before laughing in earnest. He also found the 'assassin' to be absurd, which also amused him. Still, ridiculous or not, that was the Navi they were tasked with eliminating. That this individual was responsible for inflicting great damage to the Yumland Network reflected rather badly upon the NetPolice. With this thought, Jared began reaching for his chip case....

Broadside simply nodded at his Net-Op's remark; not really inclined to speak at the moment, as he was trying to ignore the voice giggling in the back of his mind (it was rather difficult to ignore). He then busied himself and recalled his remote units. All of them flew down out of the sky from their various high vantage points, and proceeded to dock one after the other. I wont be needing them, now that the target is right in front of me. And my current form is unnecessary as well....

Once all of the H/K's had returned, Broadside reached up with his right arm to the Navi Emblem that served as an ear cover on that side of his head. He tapped it with a large metal finger, triggering a form shift. The features of his large, blocky frame melted into a formless glowing mass of light. The mass shrank, eventually becoming Navi-sized as well as taking on the general shape of a Navi. The form's features faded in, revealing a kneeling guard Navi in white armor with it's left arm resting in a sling.

Broadside stood up, reached over his shoulder with his right arm, and grabbed his Guard Rifle. He took a half-step back to his right, twisted his torso to present a smaller target profile, and braced the weapon across his body. He channeled the chip data he was starting to receive from his Net-Op, Jared, into his left arm. A battlechip data clip appeared in his hand, which he smoothly locked into the socket on the bottom of the rifle. His turning and brace action meant he was already aimed at the target, and the Thunder1's were ready to go... Once again, I am committed to battle.

The Guard Rifle flashed as Broadside opened fire.

1: Recall H/K's
2: Form Shift: WhiteGuard.GMO
3: Thunder1 @ Target (55 Elec + Stun + Homing)
4: Thunder1 @ Target (55 Elec + Stun + Homing)

((WhiteGuard.GMO active))