Radio's Beach Sabotage

"Sure, whatever you think is best,"[font=Bodoni MT][/font] she reaffirmed, then stepped back as SharpMan swiped his blade towards the bonsai creatures. Two of them vanished instantaneously while the other took a tremendous gash across her mid-section. Rather than clutching the wound, she retaliated immediately with a blade of her own, swiping her bamboosword across SharpMan's chest. As if that weren't enough, she whipped him again with her spindly plant arm, creating another gash.

Kindle helped support SharpMan, lending him her shoulder. As her body pressed against his own, he could feel an extraordinary heat coming from it; it might have something to do with her power. "Is there anything I can do? I wish I could help spark an idea or something, but I have no idea what to do...!"[font=Bodoni MT][/font]

It sounded like the Bonsais were huddling into the gateway to their left now. They'd probably flood in after a moment, but now he knew who the real one was. Even the latest one to enter didn't seem to pose much of a threat, since SharpMan could be pretty sure it was just a decoy. That said, SharpMan had seen that treebomb fly from over the wall earlier. Who had deployed it?

SharpMan: 10 HP (FireKnife: 4 uses) (sand)
Kindle: 150 HP (hands bound) (sand)

BonsaiA: 90 HP (somewhere in maze) (BambooSword:2 swings) (sand)
BonsaiB: 90 HP (sand)
BonsaiC: 90 HP (somewhere in maze)
BonsaiD: 90 HP (somewhere in maze)
BonsaiE: 90 HP (somewhere in maze)
BonsaiF: 90 HP (sand)
Treebomb Seed: 1 HP

Terrain: 100% Sand (grass while on bushes)

The area ahead is surrounded on all sides by walls (now on fire), with an opening to his left. Any will take two actions to cut through. He can also climb any for three actions.
With some help from Kindle, SharpMan was able to stand up again. He WAS a Navi, after all; even at critical condition, he could still fight at full power. The main reason he slumped wasn't because of the damage, but sheer surprise that his foe had the likes of BambooSword at her disposal. Though, what he wouldn't do for a nice, strong recovery chip about now..."Bah...you caught me off guard! But that's not happening again!"

But, if he was looking at the genuine article, then how did that TreeBomb get there? ...There was more than one 'real' one, wasn't there? Well, that was just perfect. But he needed to focus on the one in front of him for the moment. There was one other thing that was bugging him, though..."Hey, you!...Kindle, wasn't it? Can't you at least use BattleChips without that box?! Because if you can, use something fiery on that TreeBomb seed to get rid of it! And if you can't...then I am NOT going to be in a good mood!"

"SharpMan, I've got the analysis."

"Finally!"

"There's no barrier or anything. Jacking out should be perfectly possible."

"Then what are you waiting for?!"

"Simple. The battle programs won't let me do it while you're in there. You'll have to escape the maze first."

"Of all the..." That was it. Someone conscious was getting torn apart. RIGHT. NOW. And there happened to be such a target he could do so to without getting in trouble. With a low growl, he raced ahead to the existant Bonsai, his left arm across his chest, and with blades fully extended and ablaze. As he drew near, he performed an immensely strong slash; so strong, in fact, that he started to spin. And with that spin, he could do some evading if needed. He was angry, but not to the point of stupidity...yet.

-----TURN SPLICE 1-----
2-FireKnife chip attack on BonsaiB (60, Fire, Slashing)
2a-Swordplay (passive dodge)
-----TURN SPLICE 2-----
"Oh, I do have a few chips, I guess... I hope this doesn't rub you the wrong way, but I'm not really too familiar with how to use them... but I'll give it a shot,"[font=Bodoni MT][/font] she murmured, then stopped to converse with her operator, who must have been just as estranged from fighting as she was. "Alright, how about... this one!"[font=Bodoni MT][/font]

As soon as she spoke, a large Flamey virus appeared and smashed the area near Bonsai, prompting a glare from their assailant. The treebomb was destroyed, at least. "W-Whoops... I guess I missed,"[font=Bodoni MT][/font] she sighed, moving behind SharpMan a bit. "Maybe..?"[font=Bodoni MT][/font] SharpMan felt his HP go back up ever-so-slightly. Kindle blinked, then huddled closer. "Did it work? I didn't see anything happen!"[font=Bodoni MT][/font]

"A neat trick just now
But I'll beat it easily
Regeneration"


Speaking quickly, the creature regenerated the portion of her bodysuit that had been torn and smiled triumphantly. It looked as though SharpMan might get her with his fireknife, but just as he was about to attack her, a barrier appeared and blocked the attack. It seemed like, once again, she had not generated it. Someone really must be watching out for her.

"The ally I have
She's much stronger than your own
A leg up for me"


More of the bonsai clones wandered into the door of the area. As they did, another voice came from nearby:

"You in trouble, Spiky? My original offer's still open, if you need it."

SharpMan: 40 HP (FireKnife: 3 uses) (sand)
Kindle: 150 HP (hands bound) (sand)

BonsaiA: 170 HP (somewhere in maze)
BonsaiB: 170 HP (sand) (BambooSword:2 swings)
BonsaiC: 170 HP (sand) (1 movement away)
BonsaiD: 170 HP (somewhere in maze)
BonsaiE: 170 HP (sand) (1 movement away)
BonsaiF: 170 HP (sand)

Terrain: 90% Sand (grass while on bushes), 10% Broken

The area ahead is surrounded on all sides by walls (now on fire), with an opening to his left. Any will take two actions to cut through. He can also climb any for three actions.
There was no doubt about it now; there was more than one enemy. And with that Kindle chick apparently useless right now...ugh, he REALLY hated to do this...

"I know what you're thinking, SharpMan. Do it. As is, we're getting nowhere fast."

"...Fine." ...But before he did that, hmm. Now that he wasn't completely focused on tearing things apart, some of his bodysuit felt a bit...breezy. Instead of being embarrassed about it, however, he simply snapped his fingers, causing his outer appearance to instantly refresh. There we go. Nice and warm once again. Luckily, he was positioned so that there was no way Kindle could see what he just did.

...And now he had to swallow his pride. Which was a VERY big thing to shove down his throat. "...Heh, it's no fun being outnumbered! 70% of what I get from this, was it? Fine! Come on in, provided you're not all talk!" Sure, he could've fiddled with the percentage, but as a mercenary himself, he knew that clients that tweaked numbers like that tended to be stingy, insufferable pricks. Call it professional courtesy.

Just in case she took her sweet time, however, he extended his arm's blades, and raised them in front of him...before standing there. It might look silly, but if he was attacked...

-----TURN SPLICE 2-----
3-Razor Shield sig on SharpMan (1-hit shield; 20, Slashing counterattack upon being hit)
(Swordplay dodge still active)
-----TURN SPLICE 3-----
"Finally! Now we're in business," Agent chuckled back from the shadows of the maze, seeming glad that SharpMan had finally let her off the bench. "I'll start by running interference, weeding out Twiggy's little friend. You just hold tight until I get there."

Sounds of rustling came from that direction, implying that SharpMan's hired mercenary must be chasing after someone. Bonsai frowned, shifting her stance stiffly and seeming contemplative.

"The situation
May have taken a bad turn
But I must remain"


"I hope this doesn't rub you the wrong way, but I just can't stand being so useless!"[font=Bodoni MT][/font] Kindle whimpered, huddling on more tightly to SharpMan as the creepy wood navi approached. More Bonsai were starting to move from the gateway towards the one SharpMan knew to be real.

"My body, a seed
Look, I replant myself now
And all must follow"


All at once, every Bonsai in sight submerged into the sand of the net, almost like they were doing synchronized swimming. There was no telling where they'd pop back out.

Looking back and forth nervously, SharpMan's rescued hostage tried to stop her shivering. He could still feel the heat inside her body; as her flesh rubbed against his own armor, tiny sparks appeared and fell to the ground. "I-I really think I can help! I just need my Match Box... but I don't know where it is..."[font=Bodoni MT][/font] More sparks fell into the sand, seeming pitifully like tiny tears. Still, it was surprising that so little rubbing could produce enough friction to create those.

SharpMan: 40 HP (FireKnife: 3 uses) (1-hit shield) (trap: 20 slashing counterattack when shield is hit) (sand)
Kindle: 150 HP (hands bound) (sand)

BonsaiA: 170 HP (somewhere in maze)
BonsaiB: 170 HP (sand) (BambooSword:2 swings)
BonsaiC: 170 HP (sand)
BonsaiD: 170 HP (somewhere in maze)
BonsaiE: 170 HP (sand)
BonsaiF: 170 HP (sand)

Terrain: 90% Sand (grass while on bushes), 10% Broken

The area ahead is surrounded on all sides by walls (now on fire), with an opening to his left. Any will take two actions to cut through. He can also climb any for three actions.
SharpMan remained keenly aware of the situation, despite the distraction that was Kindle's body against his own. "Well, this is turning into a real pain. Fine, if you want your box back, then think. Where did you last have it?" Unreal...in this situation, he was reduced to playing lost and found. Navis of his profession weren't exactly picky about their jobs, but this...this was getting to be beneath even him...wait, beneath...hmm. That gave him an idea. He wasn't sure if it was brilliant or stupid, but it was, in fact, an idea. That was something.

"And while you're remembering, if you've got any other Fire type chips, use 'em on the sand!...Actually, anything that directly changes the ground works, too!" As he kept his right arm held high, the bladed Navi firmly tapped the spot in front of him with a blazing left arm blade. He wasn't sure if the other Navi was any help at the moment, but he had to at least TRY to make her feel useful, so she wouldn't lose it.

-----TURN SPLICE 3-----
4-FireKnife chip attack on Sand panel (60, Fire, Slashing)]
(Swordplay dodge still active)
SharpMan found that his knife did indeed turn a swath of the sand terrain into glass, but it didn't seem to be much good; he could almost imagine the bonsai woman spewing more horrible haikus (or worse, lewd comments about wanting his ass) from underground. Kindle regained some of her former poise, when she'd managed to calmly call out to him from the garden earlier. "You're right, I'm being a baby about this. I need to help out!"[font=Bodoni MT][/font] she responded, nodding slowly and opening her eyes slowly.

"I'll help you out in the best way I can..."[font=Bodoni MT][/font] she continued, flipping her hair from her eyes with a quick motion of her head. With deliberate slowness and care, she squatted down, parting her shapely legs to each side, akimbo from her body. Her chin dragged erotically down his body, first from his chest, down onto his abdomen. Her breasts, clad only in thin undergarments, pressed against his body too now, dangerously close to his groin. Her head went lower, and then...

Shot back up, as Kindle started to brush her face and chest rapidly up and down against SharpMan's body, counting on him to remain standing against her applied weight. The motion was awkward and possibly still sensual, but those were hardly the most important observations one could make. The most important by far was that sparks had begun to erupt at tremendous speed from her body, covering the ground in leaping flames. SharpMan could only be surprised that he himself wasn't being burned alive as she moved faster and faster.

The entire ground transformed into glass while the bushes now erupted from burning bushes into full-fledged bonfires. The heat was almost suffocating as Bonsai shot back up from the ground, along with a host of leaves and debris, which presumably had formerly belonged to her decoys.

"Your useless efforts
I'll regather them all
To attack again

... Furthermore, really, what the hell are you doing out there? I thought we had an agreement!"


SharpMan could only suppose that the latter part of her statement, which wasn't really haiku at all, had something to do with the partner Agent had taken care of. No response came back from the bushes.

"I hope this doesn't rub you the wrong way, but now seems to be our best chance to finish her off. If you help me out, I can create enough fire that I'm pretty sure she'll have nowhere to run. We've just got to make as much friction as possible!"[font=Bodoni MT][/font] Kindle called up to SharpMan as she continued rubbing up and down his abdomen. He couldn't see her face, but her voice made it sound as though she was focused rather than embarrassed. "Quick, rub me as hard as you can!"[font=Bodoni MT][/font]

"It sounds like you've got things well in hand! Want me to just wait out here until you finish up?" Agent teased from the flaming bushes.

SharpMan: 40 HP (FireKnife: 2 uses) (1-hit shield) (trap: 20 slashing counterattack when shield is hit) (sand)
Kindle: 150 HP (hands bound) (sand)

Bonsai: 120 HP (glass) (BambooSword:2 swings)

Terrain: 90% Glass (grass while on bushes), 10% Broken

The area ahead is surrounded on all sides by walls (now intensely on fire), with an opening to his left. Any will take two actions to cut through. He can also climb any for three actions.
Absolutely nothing could have possibly made SharpMan happier than Kindle realizing what a dead weight she was being, and deciding to take action. "Good to hear! Can't wait to see what you-what the?!"

The rubbing...oh man, the rubbing. It wasn't at all unpleasant to him, quite the opposite. That he was caught unprepared, however, was a massive understatement. Oh well, he'd been in weirder situations than being used as a match box. Using the decorative blades on his boots, he dug his heels slightly into the sand, to give him some extra balance, before sighing. This was nice and all, but he'd better get a nice, fat reward for all this.

Though, the lack of haiku speaking nearly worked as one, as a nice, big smirk formed on his face. It only grew bigger as his own clientele made a smart alecky remark. "Ha, no way, chica! Come on in and join the fun! The less time this takes, the more time we'll have to watch crazy plant lady burn!" The bladed Navi wasn't kidding, either. While he had ulterior motives, to say the least, speeding up the process couldn't hurt. To that end, he began to move up and down, and left to right, increasing the friction between the blazing girl Navi rubbing on him and, well, him...

[Order of Turn:
1-?-Assist Kindle in rubbing]
Kindle continued to create as much friction as she could, trying now to be precise in releasing her flame and also to avoid going down too low on SharpMan; she was already gaining a few occasional, poking hints that he was pretty enthusiastic about her plan. "Thanks! Who's that you're talking to?"[font=Bodoni MT][/font] she asked, staring back up to look into the navi's face. He could see that her face was red, so she might be trying to decide if it was someone she'd be embarrassed to see her this way.

"Just a mercenary, interested in making good on a bad situation," Agent laughed, appearing next to them. "It looks like my compatriot here found out his own methods of accomplishing much the same ends, hm?"

Bonsai's eyes widened as she saw Agent, then screwed up in anger. The navi was now on fire, burning from the inescapable heat Kindle was putting out. "Biiitch! What are you- Hrrrrgh?!"

The black-clad navi silenced Bonsai by slashing out with a concealed knife, tearing open a wide gash that spilled data into the net. A look of rage spread across the thin plant navi's face as she was yanked out of the net by her jackout routine. "That takes care of that, then. I assume you'll be making good on your end of the deal?"

...

What was to stop SharpMan from cutting and running at this point? The navi had only his name and appearance to go on; he might never meet her again. If he left now, the fat premium on his service would be his to claim with no split. On the other hand, she had presumably helped and she seemed to be a navi of some frightening means.

VoiceMan's reporter finally came to her senses and stopped producing flames, hoping that SharpMan would be alright with her giving up the rub while his lower body was becoming so afflicted. "Let's hurry, the flames are closing in on us. We need to get back to VoiceMan's set!"[font=Bodoni MT][/font] she encouraged SharpMan, rising back to her feet with her hands still bound to the pole behind her.

SharpMan: 40 HP (FireKnife: 2 uses) (1-hit shield) (trap: 20 slashing counterattack when shield is hit) (sand)
Kindle: 150 HP (hands bound) (sand)

Bonsai: EJO'D

Terrain: 90% Glass (grass while on bushes), 10% Broken

The area ahead is surrounded on all sides by walls (now intensely on fire), with an opening to his left. Any will take two actions to cut through. He can also climb any for three actions.

--BATTLE COMPLETE!--

SharpMan gets: TreeBomb1, +5 Kindle FXP, +2 Agent FXP
The end. He felt slightly...less flexible for it, but hey, he was a guy. Who wouldn't be? Speaking of which, there was some TreeBomb chip data where the plant Navi had been. With a snap of his fingers, it vanished to his PET of origin. SharpMan then looked over at Kindle, using an arm blade to release her of her remaining bindings. "You go on ahead. I need a moment or two!"

With that, he headed over to Agent, then grinned as he handed her some text data. "Here's my operator's e-mail address. I can't pay you now because, well, I don't know what I'm getting from this...but don't worry. I was too entertained by that brutal knife attack to even think about trying to stiff ya! At least, not in the matter of money..." With nothing but that, the bladed Navi vanished from Beach Area, not wanting to be smelted alive.

(JACKING OUT)