The Not-So-High Seas

The sight of the crater-turned-sinkhole amused DubloonMan greatly, having never seen this effect before.

"YAR HA-HAR! Be grateful fer th' grave I've dug fer ye foul beasts! T'is more than ye filthy lot deserve!" He laughed before noticing the Kettle. It didn't look like much of a threat, the way it moved about lazily. He decided to ignore it for now and peered into the hole the viruses had fallen into, careful not to fall in himself.

"Yar, they be in quite deep..." DubloonMan noted, "Roger, lad. Somethin' t' put them outta their misery, if ye would."

Roger didn't have anything really prepared for such a situation, but eyed the Fireburn and the Shotguns. He didn't have a preference but figured it might be safer not to detonate a powder keg in something that caved in that easily. He quickly opted to slot in the two Shotguns.

DubloonMan reached into his coat and pulled out his twin-barreled shotgun, giving it a quick polish with his sleeve, "An' now, Betty would like t' offer her services t' pervide a eulogy fer th' ALMOST departed. Betty, if ye would."

Sticking the gun into the pit, DubloonMan unloaded the weapon, shredding the chasm with a double serving of buckshot and a cloud of smoke. As he sheathed his blunderbuss back into his jacket, he brushed under his eye, "Yar, that be beautiful..."

The Kettle still needed to be dealt with and both he and Roger were at a loss as to what to do. It wasn't particularly aggressive and it didn't seem to care that DubloonMan was laying waste to its allies.

"Huh. That's really weird." Roger said.

"That it be, lad. That it be." nodded DubloonMan, still not sure what to make of the sad little teapot.

Roger corrected himself, "No, it's not that. The Kettle doesn't have HP like the other viruses do. It has a... Temperature."

"Yar, what of it then?" DubloonMan asked.

"I don't know, it might mean we have to... Boil it?" shrugged his operator.

There was a brief pause as his navi thought for a bit before he snarled, "...YARRR! Ye better not be tryin' t' pull one over on ol' DubloonMan! I'll have ye walk th' plank fer yer mutiny!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" exclaimed Roger, "It's just a guess!"

DubloonMan grumbled at the prospect of this being a practical joke on his behalf but ultimately complied to the suggestion, "Very well... We be tryin' it YER way, but if this plan fails, the two of ye be gettin a taste o' ME RAGEHOOK!"

The Firehit was slotted in soon after, arming DubloonMan with a large flaming torch. Not wanting to draw this battle out any longer, he lunged at the virus with the tip of his baton crying, "HAVE AT YE!"



1 - Shotgun Puffy-A (50 damage + spread 2)
2 - Shotgun Typhoon (50 damage + spread 2)
3 - Firehit Kettle (60 + impact)
Giving the hole-bound viruses a fairly hearty funeral, DubloonMan then proceeded to throw a fiery torch at the Kettle, causing it to ignite and explode into a cloud of steam. Man, what a weird virus.

-- ENEMIES --
Cloudy: DELETED
Typhoon: DELETED
Puffy-F: DELETED
Puffy-A: DELETED
Kettle: DELETED

-- PIRATE --
DubloonMan.EXE: 140 HP

-- TERRAIN --
80% Normal
20% Broken

-- BATTLE 04, VICTORY!! --
[BubbleSpreader] Battlechip, 560z
"Well, blooow me down!" DubloonMan said, "Ye were right. Me apologies, lad."

"Ahh, don't worry about it. Lucky guess." Roger replied.

"Aye, but a pirate be naught without his crew and we be more than just crew, Roger. We be partners," DubloonMan said proudly, "Me pride sometimes fergets my loyalties, lad. T'is me only flaw."

Roger couldn't help but chortle at that last bit of DubloonMan's apology.

"Now that I've gotten that off me chest, it be time to fill me OTHER chest! Yar-ha har!" the navi laughed, promptly summoning his trunkful of zenny.

It took less than a minute for DubloonMan to clear away every single coin and claim the battlechip data as his own. Roger scanned over the new chip and stashed it away for potential trading as soon as he saw the word "Bubble" in its name. No longer distracted by money, DubloonMan looked out into the distance and felt another challenging presence lay just ahead. Rather than turning back or finding another route, he charged forward at full speed, eager to fight this new foe. With any luck, he might even run into some fellow pirates again.

((Battle 5))
With a strange sense of deja vu, DubloonMan came upon the same pirate blockade he'd noticed back in Scilab Net. There was a lot of commotion going on, but no sign of pirates moving materials. It appeared something was happening further into the blockade, and since there was no other way to progress regardless without going around the ships, he proceeded through the logical course between them. The water was somewhat shallow, but still warm and ever-present. He had to wonder how they moved such huge ships through shallow waters...

The first person he came to was Swabbie, who was standing at the end of the gap dressed in her ordinary bikini top, tattered pants, and headband. She turned around with first surprise, then anger. However, she seemed too distracted to pick a fight. "Oi, Fatty! You've come at a bad time. Cap'n's got 'is 'ands full with a rude visitor right now," she addressed him, then turned her tattooed back to him again.

Looking past her, DubloonMan saw the source of the problem: WukouMan had a very pretty looking girl at his side, a light-skinned beauty dressed all in gold with armor bearing compass designs across it... across from him, a tall, angry woman in skimpy green armor with flowing brown hair and an eye-patch was menacing the pirates. Two men stood at her side, each dressed in brown peasant garments with headwraps and spears. "I'm not going to ask you again: the Neo-Shogun Army has written consent from this woman, agreeing to join our forces! You must surrender her to us!" the woman in green growled, looking extremely ill-tempered.

"You'll have to forgive me, Lady, but I don't see your name written anywhere on her!" WokouMan grumbled, keeping his arms crossed resolutely across his broad chest and shifting his pipe in his mouth using only his lips. "Your 'written consent' is outdated! Magnete here has been one of my crew for a couple of months now and she prefers it here! I'm a pirate, in case you haven't noticed; I don't have much respect for written documents or rules," he defended, grinning with a cheer of enthusiasm from his men up on the ships.

"Rrrrgh... You are trying my patience! I've come here to do this nonviolently, using the authorized documents our Shogun worked out in his early years, and now you throw them back in my face! How like a man to show such a pigheaded, stubborn rejection of authority!... No matter, if it comes down to it, we will take her by force. In an honorable fair fight, of course," she coughed at the end, noting the large number of pirates surrounding her.

"Sure, I'll make the terms, though. I'll tangle with you, and your men can fight..." he muttered, looking around with a keen eye.

"Please, allow me, Sir. It would be a pleasure to fight in order to stay with your crew," the girl at his side insisted in a surprisingly cultured, well-spoken voice that did not match the rough tone of the pirates very well.

WokouMan gave a hearty laugh, then placed one arm around her in a familiar way. "That spirit's why I can't afford to lose you! Sure, and how about..." his eyes turned in Swabbie's direction, causing her eyes to light up briefly. He pointed, seemingly at her, then moved his finger over to the side a bit. "You're already here! That was fast navigation, my friend. Ha ha, how do you feel about raking in a little bit more of our cargo for yourself, huh? You wanna fight one of her guys? We'll do three fights: me and our rude visitor, Magnete and him, and then you and that guy," he called out, smiling coyly and pointing out the different opponents and allies. He seemed to understand that DubloonMan might up his advantage a little more than Swabbie would in this situation.

The woman in green frowned and glared at him with detest and malice flashing in her single exposed eye. While her costume might seem laughable, she definitely had killing intent. On the other hand, the men at her side seemed like chumps. This might be a chance to make some easy money!
What luck! DubloonMan could hardly contain his joy upon seeing WokouMan again, "YAR HA-HAR! IT BE TRULY A BLESSIN' T' SEE ME HEARTIES ONCE MORE, AND SO SOON AT THAT!"

"Yeah... I can't believe this either." Roger said with some degree of skepticism.

Even more appealing to DubloonMan's interest was another invitation to fight for WokouMan and his crew. He took a peek at his would-be opponent, eyeing him up quickly and gave a sly smile, "Yar... T'would be me pleasure to fight fer yer cause, WukouMahn."

Roger was interested in the opposing side as well and though the name Neo-Shogun rang a dull bell in his mind, he didn't know anything about them. Of course, he was already familiar with the pirates enough to know that he probably shouldn't be helping them out even more. However, he figured the shogun side had nothing to do with the Netpolice and he wouldn't have to worry about that catching up with him later. This was some risky business that Roger was getting caught up in but it was also exactly what he was looking for to break him out of his everyday tedium.

"Alright, let's do this quick." Roger acquiesced.
"Haha! How fortunate for me," WokouMan responded, turning back to Yasu. Leering cockily, returning her own obvious distaste, he raised one eyebrow. "Is this okay with you?"

"Yes... But you're a fool if you're basing your chances of success on old reports of the strength of my men. These fighters have been training diligently! They're not the weak men they once were," the green-armored woman laughed, slapping her hand onto the shoulder of one of them. Despite her boasting, the two men seemed to be looking between one another with a lack of confidence. She didn't seem to notice them doing it.

WokouMan caught it, however, and smirked. "Let's get to it. You and one of your men follow me up to the ship. We'll leave my pal here and your other man to duke it out amidst the ship sides," he insisted. DubloonMan saw that his ally may be doing this to give him another advantage; the water around DubloonMan could work well against a spearman who relied on sure footing.

"It's just like General Yasu said!" the man assured DubloonMan, spinning his spear above his head and then bringing it to bear; his warlike actions reminded the pirate of fighting Swabbie earlier. "We've barely skimped on our training at all... and I have real chips now! You don't stand a chance against my Neo-Shogun spirit! Cause I fight.... for General Yasu and her lovely thighs!" he cried brazenly, raising his weapon into the air once again. It was hard to believe he could call out something like that with a straight face.

"Turn him into chum, Fattie! This kind of loser don't deserve any mercy!" Swabbie called out from the sidelines. It looked like she might be his only audience; all of the other pirates had become more focused on the battles up on the ship decks.

-- CHUM --
Neo-Shogun Soldier: 150 HP

-- PIRATE --
DubloonMan.EXE: 140 HP

-- TERRAIN --
Tall, wooden ships on all sides, stuck in melee range
100% Onsen

-- BATTLE 05, START! --
"YAR HA-HAR!" DubloonMan laughed with a stroke of his beard, "Yer in fer a world o' hurt, lad. Yer captain's thighs can't save ye now."

"I think she's a General." Roger corrected.

"Aye, a general WENCH perhaps!" His navi answered before shaking his head, "Yar, this be no time fer sematics."

He shifted his hand over to the chain draped over his shoulder and gripped the links tight. With a wide sweep of his arm, the heavy anchor flew around him in a wide arc, drawing a circular wave along the water's surface. More waves rippled out, building with intensity as DubloonMan continued to charge up his swing before releasing the full weight of his anchor at the soldier.

As DubloonMan reached into his coat for a weapon, Roger twiddled the Shotguns and MachineGun between his hands before deciding to slot in the Machinegun without much thought for planning. His navi was equally adept, as DubloonMan wasn't one to plan more than two steps ahead in his fights. More often than not, his first step was to shoot. Retrieving the deceptively small firearm from his coat, the navi grinned with a small tilt of his head and aimed the barrel slightly downwards as not to damage the ships again. His hands acted on their own, unleashing a barrage of bullets that peppered the onsen.

Now came the second step: maniacal laughter, "YAR HA-HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!"

The last round splashed along the water as DubloonMan was sudenly reminded of his last navi battle with Swabbie. He begrudingly considered staying on his toes and trying to be evasive rather than unloading more of his arsenal.

He banished the thought from his mind and mumbled to himself, "Nay, t'is a mahn's fight..."

"What was that?" Roger asked.

"YARRR! I SAID SHUT YER TRAP AND GIMME TH' BIGGEST WEAPON WE'VE GOT BEFORE I DECIDE T' KEELHAUL YER SORRY HIDE!" DubloonMan snarled.

"Alright! Alright, sorry." Roger said, slotting in the Crackerbomb. He wasn't sure what he had to be afraid of from DubloonMan but there was something about his navi's voice that instilled fear. Or maybe he was just naturally a coward.

DubloonMan didn't hesistate in lifting the abnormally heavy bomb over his head and hurling it at the soldier, despite their close quarters situation. His strength gave out soon after, turning his arms into limp noodles and reducing his breath to a series of deep resounding pulses.



1 - Anchors Aweigh! (self-slow, nova2 10 damage + knockback) + Neo-Shogun Soldier (40 damage) + Break
2 - Machinegun1 Neo-Shogun Soldier (9 x 30 damage)
3 - CrackerBomb Neo-Shogun Soldier (80 damage + Panel Crack + Blast 3)
The anchor spin turned out to be a good idea, since the first thing the spearman did was try to charge in and get in a thrust. The anchor knocked him back with great force, then smacked him again with the anchor. The anchor kept on sailing right through one of the ships, but luckily, the uproar from the battle above was so heavy that nobody seemed to have noticed it. DubloonMan could hear guns firing rapidly above him.

There was little time to think about those guns, however, as he armed his own. Before he could start up his firing, however, the enemy lunged forward and jabbed his spear into DubloonMan's side. "Woah, I hit!" the guy cheered, lifting DubloonMan up as well as he could and slinging him into the side of another ship. With his pistol still armed, however, DubloonMan released a barrage of machine gun fire that scored several hits on the enemy, who had little room to dodge.

On the note of little room to dodge, however, DubloonMan pulled a very silly move out of his arsanel next: a tremendous bomb. "What the hell are you-" Swabbie cussed from the sidelines, then dove behind the array of ships to shield herself from a huge blast that smashed apart the siding of the ships in such a way that made his earlier attempts to preserve them look a little ridiculous. Not even DubloonMan could escape his own explosion. When the smoke cleared, however, it was clear that he'd blown his enemy to smithereens.

The battles above seemed to be continuing, however, and there was no sign of anyone to give him his cut of the cargo now. A rope bridge over the side of one ship seemed to be the only way up. Should he continue on without it or invest the time in collecting?

-- CHUM --
Neo-Shogun Soldier: EJO'D!

-- PIRATE --
DubloonMan.EXE: 20 HP

-- TERRAIN --
Tall, wooden ships on all sides, stuck in melee range
20% Onsen
80% Cracked

-- BATTLE 05, FINISHED! --

Get: 600 zenny, Rope1
"Yar... Ha-har..." DubloonMan chuckled, despite looking like a complete wreck. Roger was in no mood to be stingy and quickly slotted in his other recovery subchip. A green wave washed over his navi, undoing some of the damage, but not nearly all of it.

It was good enough to reinvigorate him, allowing him to get on his feet and fix his back. "...YAR!" He yelped as his spine made a very audible cracking sound, "Now where did that horny toad of a soldier crawl off to?"

"I think the fight is over. You blew him up with the Crackerbomb." Roger said.

"Aye? AYE! That I did, lad. That I did." DubloonMan smiled until he saw the colateral damage he had apparently caused to the ship. He slapped his gaping mouth closed with his hand and made a face more horrified than when he encountered the Spooky.

"What?" asked Roger.

"Yar, I've done made a grave error..." DubloonMan said, "The ship, she's been hit."

Roger didn't see a problem with this and suggested, "Okay, let's just get out of here now. I think we've overstayed our welcome."

"Wh- Tch- Ye-" DubloonMan sputtered before compiling his thoughts together, "NAY LAD! This be no chance t' run away! As a pirate and as a MAHN, I be needin' t' rectify this with WukouMahn."

Roger sighed and nodded.

"...Right after I clean up these dubloons." his navi added and began to sweep the onsen for the coins scattered about.

After a good minute of cleaning up after himself, DubloonMan made his way up the hanging ladder. Again, Roger found himself astounded by the dexterity and balance of a navi with a cannon for a leg.



((Crawl up ladder))
((Minienergypack used: +50 HP))
DubloonMan made his way up the rope ladder as quickly as he could with a cannon as a leg. When he got to the top, his fears regarding the ship were slightly alleviated, as he discovered that WokouMan was wielding a turn-crank chaingun and firing at the NeoShogun girl with barrels blazing. She was so fast that she seemed to be dodging the bullet fire.

It appeared that the result of that match would be inconsequential, however; Magnete's presence next to DubloonMan informed him that she'd finished up her mask. She didn't look as though she'd been hurt too badly and smiled at him kindly. "Thank you very much for protecting my right to stay with the pirate crew, Sir. I don't know your name, but I would be happy to get you the reward that my captain promised you. I know that he would want you to have it and... he'll be busy for a while," she suggested to him.

Moving to a nearby crate, she created a small baton-blade like a compass point in one hand and wedged the lid off. After leaning inside briefly, she presented him with another parcel of compressed data. "Again, you do me great honor. WukouMan seems very fond of you... I hope that you and our crew will meet again in the future," she finished.

((DubloonMan received SmallEnergyPack))

"I know it's a little boring, but all of our cargo currently is composed of subchips from Scilabs, I'm afraid," she laughed, waving him off. It might be interesting to see the outcome of WukouMan and the general's battle, but it looked heated and at a standstill; it was hard to tell who would be the winner.

((Received 3 Magnete FXP, 1 WukouMan FXP))
DubloonMan snatched the subchip data from Magnete rather rudely and turned his full attention to WokouMan's fight. He had no prior engagements and this deserved all of his focus right now. He was impressed with the way the pirate captain fought and aspired to be like him. He couldn't help but make a proud smirk at a real fight. It was just a shame he couldn't participate in it.

"You know, this kind of reminds me. There's actually a beach pretty close by." noted Roger.

"Aye, lad..." nodded DubloonMan, answering on reflex while still watching the battle.

"...And that's actually a beach that's along a major ocean, so their if they have a local network it might have something more sea-like?"

"Aye, lad... Wait, wait, WHAT?" DubloonMan snapped, "TH' REAL SEA SAY YE!? Not some piss-poor piddly kiddie pool?"

"If there was a sea anywhere on the net, I'd say the beach network would be the best place to find it." replied Roger.

DubloonMan looked at the fight that seemed to be losing its charm and considered the potential of seeing the sea with his own eyes. He bit his lip and rubbed his chin with his hook as he weighed his options. He turned to Magnete, clutching her hands in his, "Lass, er- tell yer captain I be needed elsewhere and that I be truly sorry fer the damages incurred on his fine, FINE vessel. I'll make it up t' him, I SWEAR it on me pride as a pirate and as a MAHN!"

"Alright then, jacking out." Roger said, activating the appropriate protocol on the PET.

In a bright flash, DubloonMan disappeared from the network in a sudden pillar of light.

((Jack-Out to Scilab))