Showbizz Pirates Vs. Ninjas Showdown

Shuri would find herself in a backstage area when she jacked in, something like a dressing room, with royal blue walls, along with a red carpet, dotted with five-pointed yellow stars. One side of the room had a set of doors with star-shaped handles, presumably leading out to the stage. The rest of the walls were dotted with posters advertising past Showbizz branded events: "The Showbizz Beach Bash," "The Showbizz Slumber Party", etc. which spoke to the class of competition that Shuri could expect. Mirrors and stools lined one side of the room, with costume racks on another side, as well as curtained off sections for dressing. Whether Shuri would end up having to use them remained to be seen.

The more important part of the scenery to take in was the meeting table in the center of the room, in a U shape, where Showbizz was sitting at the bottom center, with three ninjas filling three of the four other seats. The Showbizz brand leader was instantly, recognizable, a little short and, shall we say, not well-honed for battle compared to the other girls in the room. Her eyes were blue with big, shiny stars in each pupil like contacts, and her navisuit matched, blue with yellow stars printed across it. In pictures, she was always wearing a sort of an opportunistic grin, but Shuri would see a grumpy frown on her face instead as she sat sunk into her seat with her arms crossed.

To her left, seated, were two unconventionally garbed ninjas. The first was armored in aqua-blue with a black undersuit, with brassy metallic adornments including graves, gauntlets up to the fingers, and a hachigane headband with attached earpieces and an eye-mask, out of a light blue glow was emitted in the place of her eyes, unusually narrow to the point it seemed it would be hard to see out of. The lower half of the face had another piece, light blue armor, with a tube attached like a snorkel to the side, but with a groove allowing it to run across to the front. Also worth noting were four long, mechanical arms hanging from her back off of what also looked like a scuba tank embedded in a backpack. Right now, the arms were planted against the floor. Each arm ended in circular brass plate, like old-fashioned water walkers. The most human part of her was dark, navy-blue hair extending out in a lengthy, narrow ponytail. Her armor was very top-heavy, but at least her lower body was mostly only covered by the skintight suit, and it was more than worth a look.

The navi next to her was dressed in similar armor, fiery orange over black, similar in many ways but with a case of gunpowder embedded in the backpack instead of a scuba tank. Her eye-mask had one oversized slit, glowing red, and her lower mask appeared to have two small cans of portable oxygen attached to the lower side instead of a snorkel. Her back-arms ended in hands instead of water-walkers, which seemed perhaps more useful, and they were currently placed knuckles up on the table. Her hair was black, but in a strikingly similar ponytail to the other girl's. She was much taller, evident even as she sat, and again, very leggy, but with much more obvious definition in her biceps and legs. Judging by the size of the backpack, she probably got plenty of exercise just lifting that.

On the other side of the table was a navi that didn't fit: a smaller girl dressed in a green gi with a brown, straw chest protector fasted on by her belt. Her shin-guards and sandals matched the straw, but she wore green short-gloves that didn't quite match the rest. A simple bamboo sword was held in the back straps securing her chest protector, as though she was too poor to spring for a sheath. Her hair was plain and brown, in a school-girl cut like a young Electopian girl might wear, just down the nape of the neck. The navi's face was not covered like the other two girl's faces either; she had a pleasant, unassuming smile on and would give a small wave once Shuri arrived. Her physique made it look like she might be a college freshman and one who'd never taken her athletics too seriously, which was to say she was just a very normal, slender girl. Her "normalcy" somehow made her seem unnatural.

At Shuri's arrival, the gloomy Showbizz would brighten up. "Good, good! Our last contestant, Veil, is here. Please, introduce yourself real quick-like, okay? I got a lotta rules and planning and crap we gotta go through before you ninjas can all get into it with those pirate gals!" she began excitedly. It almost seemed like she was counting on Shuri to rescue her from something. The silence in the room that had dissipated soon after she appeared had seemed pretty oppressive, and that clearly didn't jive with Showbizz's vision for her event.
The first thing that drew Shuri's eye upon arriving was the posters. ...Beach Bash? Slumber Party? Already she was starting to wonder just what she was getting herself had to be an odd Navi that came up with those sorts of things for publicity. On the plus side, if these things tended to end up with its participants scantily clad, it'd make her job easier. And fun.

She shifted her focus over to the table, and the Navis sitting there. Showbizz was obviously the center Navi. As for the seemed a safe guess that the blue girl with the nice body was Suiren, the orange and black girl with the beef was Kayaku, and Shinai was the green girl with the...well, shinai. Somehow, despite being the most unassuming, she stood out the most compared to the other, more over the top ladies.

If nothing else, Showbizz seemed eager now that she was here. 'Veil' walked over, and popped into the empty seat. "Why? You just did it for me." ...And that was it. She crossed her arms, outwardly seeming as though she was anxious to get this over with...though in reality, she just wanted things to get underway. The sooner she located the mole, the sooner she could get paid and see Bayonet again.
The other ninjas nodded, as if respecting Shuri's brevity, perhaps because being chatty didn't befit a ninja. Showbizz, on the other hand, looked like some of the wind had taken out of her sails... then she seemed to remember something that caused her ear-to-ear grin to come back. "Ha! Let's hope you get a little more social during the festivities," she giggled, gesturing towards the empty seat next to Shinai with one open palm. "Anywho, as you all know, Veil here is standing in as my fourth. She's a specialist in infiltration, some kind of Robin Hood mumbo jumbo as I understand it. Rob from the rich, give to the poor! Just the kind of thing I like to do really. My shows all feature sizable charity donations, as you're all well aware," she bragged, gesturing to the posters on the back wall as if they were sources of great pride rather than a collection of embarrassing titles.

"A noble cause. As for me, I believe my abilities are best spent in the tutelage of future generations of ninja. That's why I run the Suiren Ninja Speed Academy in Electown Net. Some of my students are in the audience," the blue-clad ninja began, her voice slightly distorted due to the mask.

"I run the Kayaku Ninja Infiltration Academy in Electown Net. My students are in the audience too! They're much louder than Suiren's... Ka ha ha ha!" the red-armored one guffawed, her voice loud despite the mask.

"And I run the Shinai Ninja Discipline Academy in Electown Net. I've got a few students in the audience, but my school's much, much smaller than the other two," the green-clothed one added. "I guess we like giving back too, although nothing so noble as robbing from the rich," Shinai chuckled.

"Ha ha ha! They make it sound pretty, but I hear they all really line their pockets with these schools of theirs. And they're big rivals, always competing for students! That's what makes them great for this competition: the pirates are all rivals too! Rival ninjas versus rival pirates. I'm of the old fashioned belief that the more competition you shove in one place, the more cream rises to the top! And the creamier things get, the better!" Showbizz capped off the introductions, grinning at her own genius. "Of course, the tricky part here is that all you ninjas who compete with each other all the time are on one team together. Not just that, only one of you gets to be team captain! I have it that Jolly's been picked for the captain of the captains, so that means you guys just have to pick your captain."

"Veil, for sure! She's the only one that doesn't have a school that's competing. I'm not so stupid I think one of us is gonna follow the other ones," Kayaku proposed, raising one metal hand upon her lengthy robot arm as she made her suggestion. The others all nodded along.

"That's sorta what I was thinking too. Anywho, let's go over the rules real quick, so we can get this bizz started. The gist is simple: I've got three short contests planned. Your teams have points, you get em mostly from winning the contest. However, each of you gets individual points too. Here's how they work: every shmuck and Joe Blow in the audience has got a little button they can press any time to say which girl is their favorite. If they change their mind, at any point at all, they can press the button and switch their vote to a different contestant. You'll get a reward at the end based on your individual score too, but not just that! Your individual scores also get added into your total score. That means that the more the audience likes ninjas, the more points Team Ninja gets added to their total at the end. If Team Ninja wins, you all get a big zenny prize. Sounds pretty sweet, huh? Real stakes, real competition! Real ratings!"

"Hm hm hm, that gives us an advantage. We already have our schools voting for us," Suiren pointed out, sounding confident.

"Uh, no offense, but I can see why you teach a ninja school and not a real one, Spider-Butt. These are captains, right? That means they've got crews. Do you think you guys have as many students in the audience as they do with their whole crews filling the seats? Not likely! And Veil here doesn't have anybody. You guys are fighting an uphill battle, my friends," Showbizz smirked. Suiren seemed to suddenly readopt her dignified silence. "Anyway, just keep that in mind: you gotta buddy up to the audience and do what they like if you want to get your individual scores up. There's nothing else to say, so let's get going right away, alright? Oh, and remember: we're going to up your voices once the contest get going, but try to project a little so we don't have to change so much, alright?"

Shuri would have a few moments to say any peace she wanted, but after that, she'd be quickly ushered outside to meet the crowd.


Out the door, Shuri would find herself walking onto a star-shaped stage, high off the main floor, with a large monitor to the left, another backstage area if she could walk forward, and an audience area to the right. The right point of the star could take one into the audience area; a staircase led down to whatever was below the stage in the darkness. If Shuri looked into the audience, she'd see a bizarre mix of characters: a handful of ninjas, sitting interspersed among pirates wearing helmets designed to look like skulls, tall, grey, rubbery men with electrical plugs sticking out of their faces, ladies in green naval officer uniforms with sabers at their hips, and rough looking men wrapped up in white bandages... as well as a few small kids wrapped in the same bandages. She's see someone she might think she recognized for a moment, with steel blue eyes and a business-like frown on her face. However, the woman's hair was orange and her outfit looked like a brown/gold waistcoat and white slacks; two giant cutlasses were strapped across her back on a X-shaped set of straps belted around her sizable chest. Not just her face, but also her body, was a spitting image of Bayonet's.

Next to her was another woman with much the same traits, however, her brown hair looked more familiar. What looked less familiar was the nutcracker-like get up she was wearing, with a tall, red-and-gold trimmed marching band hat, white gloves, tall black boots, and a red, one-piece suit in a swimsuit shape with a white cross-strap over her large chest. She wore a white super-hero eye-mask that did very little to hide her identity as Bayonet. Either her fashion sense had changed or she was trying to appear in disguise and failing.

As they came out, Showbizz introduced the inventively named Team Ninja, beginning with "Veil," then Suiren, then Kayaku, then Shinai. There was a lot of heckling from the crowd who, as predicted, were mostly pirates with crew loyalty. Next, Showbizz signaled for Team Pirates to come out. As she did, Shinai leaned in from the right to speak to Shuri. "Oh Captain... We probably ought to start thinking about our strategy to win over the crowd. It's going to be tough for anybody to shift votes, when you consider that the whole crowd looks like they're loyal to one person or another. How about it, Veil? Do you have any ideas to start us out, give us an edge right out the gate?" she asked, looking between the audience and her teammates. "Anybody know what pirates like? Do we bribe them? Ha ha..."

"That would be pretty counterproductive to our goal to make money tonight, wouldn't it?" Suiren asked.

"So long as we're winning, won't we get all the votes anyway? They're not going to want to back their captains if they lose all the contests! Ka ha ha ha!" Kayaku pitched in, not keeping their planning appropriately quiet.
So, everyone else ran ninja schools in ElecTown. Now she almost felt left out. ...Almost. She'd probably be bored out of her skull if she tried actually running one herself. Though...what kind of self-respecting ninja was proud that they were loud? And, everyone being rivals...ugh. Nope, just don't think about it, Shuri, it'll probably just make your head hurt. "At least one person here sounds pretty creamy right now..." And it wasn't her. Just the shameless self-promoter that was doing everything but bending over and doing it to herself literally.

...Wait, what? "The leader...? ......Fine, but I'm not really the leader type. At most, I usually lead by example. That's your warning." At least their logic was sound for that one. Made it hard to say no. ...And they were at a disadvantage. Lovely. And yet she half-expected it. She shook her head, and as soon as the idea of heading out was proposed, she hopped out of her seat. "Let's go." ...Nah, she didn't need to say anything else.


Once out on the stage, scanning the crowd showed that, sure enough, the majority of the audience consisted of pirates. Nothing really drew her attention...until she noted a woman looking oddly like Bayonet, sitting next to someone who was most definitely Bayonet. So she was here. Though it couldn't be noticed through her mask, she did let out a small smile for a moment upon seeing the friendly face...and other parts south of said face.

Once she was out there and introduced, Shuri did nothing in response to the hecklers, aside from crossing her arms. It wasn't very tense, though, coming off as more relaxed than worried or angry. From there, she'd hear her teammates ask about strategy. "Can't say I know much about pirates. For the moment, just do what you'd normally do, and try not to get goaded by them. To be as graceful as a ninja takes clarity of mind, and I'm thinking that, at least, is an advantage we should have on them." Hopefully grace would help in the events...then again, given the posters she saw, that might be a bit of a stretch...
"Hey, forget creamy sounds, you oughtta be thinking how to use those big, creamy boobs of yours! That goes for all of you!" Showbizz advised, rolling her hands a few times over where bigger boobs than her own would be to indicate "big boobs." Shuri would have that to think about as she made her way out.


Shuri's response to the audience was one mostly of non-acknowledgement. "You know those ninjas... strong silent types! But will they be strong enough? Will they be silent enough?! Only this series of contests will tell us for sure!" Showbizz's voice rang out. A few of the ninja schools' students were cheering the girls, but the uphill battle ahead of Team Ninja was clear, as the pirates didn't seem to be discouraged in their jeers by Shuri's indifference towards them. 

The ninjas drew in closer for a quick strategy meeting while Showbizz prepared to introduce the pirate team. "Graceful? You're right. These pirates are sure to be a rowdy bunch. We can overcome them with the very discipline they lack," Suiren agreed.

"Yeah... discipline," Shinai echoed.

"Yeah! Don't get goaded, Suiren. You always have a bad temper!" Kayaku laughed, breaking the chain of quietly disciplined ninjas. "You really think gracefulness is gonna work with this crowd, eh? It takes a lot of guts to stick to your guns like that!"

Suiren gave a deep sigh, managing to avoid responding in a way that would directly contradict the request not to get riled up. If Shuri could manage to convince Kayaku to stand there in quiet grace, that would be a feat in and of itself. For now, the big, red-armored ninja laughed loudly and clapped the hands of her extra set of upper-back arms above her head, encouraging the crowd to cheer more.

"Alright, you guys have seen the ninjas. Let's bring out the sexy swashbucklers that are lookin' to make sushi outta these scurvy scallywags!" Showbizz cried next, always one for alliteration. These ones didn't come out in a single-file line, but rather, just in a big, argumentative pile. It appeared that Shuri's group would have more than just the advantage of quiet dignity in this one.

Fighting to be at the head of the group were two young girls. The first that managed to push away and get in front was the biggest of the bunch, an especially tall girl with blond hair in two pigtails that looked younger than her age. She had a bombshell body type, clad in a gray, one-piece swimsuit that was made out of something like rubber, with a zipper down the front. She wore tall, gray boots and matching, rubbery gloves. Most oddly, she had a car battery strapped to her back as though it were a backpack, with the black straps pulled tight across her large bosom. Something about her face made her look like the cocky type who tends to butt heads with everyone. "I'm Power! I'm the leader of the-!"

"Nuh uh!" the next one complained, trying to pull the big lady behind her despite her much smaller frame. This girl, with very long and very messy, curly black hair, was clad in a blue swimsuit (this one made of swimsuit material), along with short black gloves and boots, with a big, gold-buckled belt around her waist, from which two pistols were holstered. A big, black pirate cap with a stereotypical pirate cap was perched upon her head, with a black cape hiding her shoulders. Her big, blue eyes made her look pretty young compared to the others, but her body was still plenty filled out to stand up to the others... especially her round bottom, which her swimsuit fit to closely. "We voted me the leader! I'm Jolly, leader of the Jolly Pirates!" she announced, giving a thumbs up to the crowd, which the skull-headed guys cheered loudly. Oddly, it didn't seem like any pirates had cheered for Power earlier... maybe a good sign?

The next one was wrapped up almost like a mummy, with tattered white sheets. The only parts that weren't covered were her toned, tan arms, which had white wraps around the wrists. Her feet were completely bare. Smoldering, orange-colored eyes looked out from the opening in the hood formed by the sheets, along with a hostile frown. "Jolly..." she growled. "Don't get carried away! We only voted you the leader because you're the most harmless of us all!" she insisted.

"Huuuh? Why don't I spray some water on you, hot-head, and we'll see who's the harmless one?!" Jolly protested, turning around and sticking her lip out. "Also, introduce yourself, dummy!"

The other girl clenched her teeth, then cleared her throat. "Bomba. I'm Bomba of the Bomba Pirates," she spoke, barely unclenching to get the words out. She seemed perhaps the least natural of any of them, being in front of the crowds. Still, she got a healthy number of cheers, from all the other audience members who were dressed just like her.

The last lady to stroll out looked more like some kind of lady dandy than a pirate, dressed in a green park-stroller's dress with a wide-brimmed sun hat. Short, white silk gloves adorned her hands, with green, high-heeled boots below. She was carrying a parasol to match the rest of the get-up. Her skin was chocolate brown; her hair was long, black-brown, and very well kept compared to the other three. "Clipper, of the Clipper Pirates... And I'm just happy to be surrounded by so many cute girls," she giggled, giving a slow wave to the crowd with her unoccupied hand. The naval officers in green gave her a sharp salute instead of cheering, making their allegiance clear. Would there be any way to sway such loyal-looking servants?

"Wow! Aren't we all blessed to be in the presence of such lovely ladies? And aren't we more blessed that they're all here to compete for your votes?! That's right: we've got three games today, each with the exciting caveat that the girls are gonna be bending waaaay over backwards to get you to push the button for them! Right now, you've all got a favorite, just starting out, I bet. If so, go ahead and push the button on the arm of your chair! And if at any time you feel like changing your vote... just push a different button! Wow! Easy, intuitive, and encourages cute girls to curry your favor?! What more could you ask for from technology today?" Showbizz laughed, as she strolled back onto the stage in the center between the two groups, holding a star-headed microphone in one hand with her pinkie extended. "Let's see how the votes look right now!"

Quote ("VOTES")

Veil: 1%
Suiren: 5%
Kayaku: 5%
Shinai: 5%

Power: 25%
Jolly: 14%
Bomba: 20%
Clipper: 25%

"H-Hey! Wait just a minute, why isn't my whole crew voting for me?!" Jolly demanded to know, waving her fists over her head. "Come on, you guys, get it together! Me losing makes my whole crew look bad, remember that!"

"Oooooh? Well, it looks like an impossible situation for our ninja friends, so why don't you count your blessings that you chose to lead a crew instead of running a ninja school, even if they are a buncha boneheads!" Showbizz cackled through the microphone, her starry eyes squinted with mean-spirited glee. "Now, let's get right into the first contest! I wanna give you guys something easy... let's call it a little appetizer for what's to come. Our first game is going to be real easy. I like to call it: Showbizz's Saucy Sex Samplers! Trust me, the ease of this one is gonna get you guys really pumped!"

"... Saucy?" Suiren asked, her shining blue eyes lowering to half-lid behind the mask. She was perhaps doubting that they'd get through this gracefully after all.

"We're going to go from contestant to contestant, and each of you are gonna tell us your sauciest, sexiest stories about things you've really done! All your students and pirates are here, so if you say something you didn't really do, they're gonna know, okay? No lying!" Showbizz cooed. "Now, oh captains, my captains, why don't we start with you gals? I'm sure you've got some really dirty secrets, Veil, but we'll let Jolly tell the first one!"

The pirate captain opposite Shuri opened her eyes wide in shock, clutching the fringes of her cape. "M-M-Me? Well, uh, I uh-"

"Off to a bad start!" Showbizz warned her.

"I have tons of great pirate captain stories! You don't even know all of the great pirate captain stuff I've done!" the pirate captain defended.

"... This is sexy stories, not pirate captain stories. Have you done any sexy stuff?" the hostess urged her again.

"Y-Y-Yeah! All kinds of stuff! Like... oh! I was in a dance-off recently where I compared butts with another girl, a-and we had our swimsuits wedgied up so you could see our whole butts! That was pretty sexy, you know?! And they recorded the whole thing and distributed it all over the ship, so I still see them watching it all the time. That must mean it was pretty great, huh?" Jolly asked, looking triumphant despite the embarrassing story.

"... Really? What kind of ship are you running?" Bomba asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Weeeell! Wedgied so you could see their whole butts! That's a pretty tough one! How about it, Shuri? You got anything that's gonna beat that?" Showbizz asked, bringing the microphone over so that Shuri could speak into it, while leaning over and blinking her big, star-filled eyes and putting on an annoying, ear-to-ear smile.

The other ninjas looked at her silently, not wanting to say anything with the microphone right there. Suiren gulped. Kayaku was grinning, but a bead of sweat rolled down one cheek. Shinai had put on a sympathetic smile. None of them seemed very confident that Shuri had it in her to beat that relatively soft-ball story, given her emphasis on dignity so far. Then again, they didn't know a thing about Shuri, really; she could have stories that'd blow their lids. Also, it could still be worth taking the high road and remaining graceful rather than going dirty, since the objective wasn't to win contests, but rather, win votes... was it even possible to sway votes and keep one's dignity in a contest like this?