Looking for Dubloons

A zenny symbol practically flashed in DubloonMan's eye when he caught sight of the giant green crystal.

"AVAST! WOULD YE LOOKIT TH' SIZE O' THAT THAR CRYSTAL!" DubloonMan exclaimed. He didn't even seem to care about any of the viruses circling him. Roger, however, did.

"DubloonMan, this might be too much for you." he said with a worried tone.

The navi waved off his operator's concerns as usual, never once breaking his gaze away from his prize, "Nay lad, I'll be fine..."

DubloonMan confidently and single-mindedly strode towards to the Rush virus. Even Cannonball, who would have started attacking everything on sight, continued to perch quietly on DubloonMan's shoulder.

"Ju-Just hold on a second!" pleaded Roger. There was something very strange about the virus holding the crystal as it seemed to be suspiciously weak. Not to mention the line of tanks, colourful bladed fighter ships and UFOs. DubloonMan wasn't even bothering to reply at this point which only drove Roger further to his breaking point.

"GODDAMNIT! JUST LISTEN TO ME!" Roger shouted, slamming his fist into the table. His carefully laid out chips popped up a bit and scattered themselves from the impact. DubloonMan stopped to take notice, as did everyone else in the cafe. Roger glared back at the multitude of eyes locked on him to deter the unwanted attention. The other patrons quickly lost interest and went back to their own lives. DubloonMan was still in awe of Roger's outburst.

Roger tried to control himself and spoke with great restraint, "Look. Normally I'm fine with having you destroy everything, but if you want that gem, you're going to have to listen and work WITH me!"

DubloonMan squinted his eye but nodded, "Aye, What be th' plan then?"

It was a strange but pleasant experience for Roger to have his navi listen to his commands instead of the other way around, "Check out your enemies. Being outnumbered isn't something new for you, but too many of them are flying."

DubloonMan was quick to comply and realized Roger was right. In his excitement, he hadn't noticed that he was surrounded. However, DubloonMan's stance changed completely when he saw the UFOs for the first time. He took half a step back and grit his teeth in anticipation.

"Yarrr... Air pirates." he scowled.

"What are you talking about?" Roger asked.

"I know a fellow plunderer when I see one..." DubloonMan spat, "Roger! Ye may be right about treatin' this fight a wee bit differently."

Roger smiled, "Good, then let's start by capturing that gem. Send Cannonball to distract the dog while you steer clear of the air pirates. When you get close enough, whip it to shreds!"

DubloonMan ducked down a bit in preparation to break out into a run and grinned, "Aye aye!"

Running forward as fast as his leg and prosthetic would carry him, DubloonMan kept his eye on the UFOs, ready to avoid their pilfering attacks. He pointed to the virus and gem, allowing Cannonball to skitter across his arm like a runway. The fat bird took off in a straight line and savagely rammed the Rush in a series of rapid jabs from its blunt beak. Loose feathers and rabid squawking filled the air while DubloonMan shifted his attention completely on the virus. He reached into his coat just as Roger slipped in the Varitails chip, equipping the navi with a cat-o-nine-tails. DubloonMan's first strike streaked across the exposed underside of the Rush, several lacerating tendrils raking the air. Maintaining his focus, DubloonMan went in for a second blow. He could feel the durability of the weapon already waning from his vicious attack. Another set of parallel black streaks criss crossed the residual slashes from the last attack before the whip disintegrated in his hand. DubloonMan quickly turned to face the row of tanks, wary of the counter-attack he was about to endure.



1 - dodge
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage)
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage)
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage) (Gatling subtype ability)
2 - Take Aim
3 - Varitails Rush (9 x 10 damage)
4 - Take Aim
5 - Varitails Rush (9 x 10 damage)

Making a beeline for the Rush, DubloonMan quickly sent in his avian attacker, which pecked mercilessly at the mole virus. However, its tiny size allowed it to be extremely fast, avoiding many of the peckings. The viruses all converged their efforts on DubloonMan while he rushed in, with the UFOs firing a mysterious beam at him, one of them hitting his whip and causing it to disappear! [Varitails1 Disabled!] The Yort launched extremely intimidating bladed yo-yos, one of which hit his shoulder. (10)

Afterwards, the Catacks rolled up from behind him, and unloaded a couple of shells at him. One of them whizzed overhead, while the other did a fair amount of damage to him, his bird, and his quarry. (20/20/20)

-- ENEMIES --
Rush: 3 HP [Behind]
RedUFO A: 80 HP [In Front]
RedUFO B: 80 HP [In Front]
Yort A: 90 HP [In front]
Yort B: 90 HP [In front]
Catack A: 120 HP [In front]
Catack B: 120 HP [right]
Catack C: 120 HP [Left]

-- OBJECTS --
Green Mystery Data: 20 HP [Carried by Rush]

-- ALLIES --
DubloonMan.EXE: 30 HP [Cracked]
Cannonball.SP: 20 HP

-- TERRAIN --
90% Normal
10% Cracked

The force of the Catack's cannon was too much for him to bear and he began to crumple over. His knees hit the floor, his focus still drawn to the large crystal while the small dog continued to taunt him with it. Normally, such an attack wouldn't have fazed him, but the damage he had been taking had accumulated on his body whether or not he wanted to acknowledge it. He was still only one navi despite his boastful attitude. Perhaps he had bitten off more than he could chew this time?

"SQUARG!"

DubloonMan perked his head up. Even with his hazy vision, he could see Cannonball flapping about the Rush. She was as vicious as ever trying to land a blow on the evasive virus. He remembered his parrot was also caught in the blast and saw that she had taken heavy damage. She was on the cusp of falling apart, but that didn't seem to stop her from trying to destroy the Rush. He pounded the ground to stop himself from hitting the floor. This was despicable. He couldn't give in more readily than his parrot. A glimpse of his empty hand reminded him that his weapon had been stolen from him. Rage fueled his body as he clambered back to his feet. He stood, barely.

"Are you alright!? Can you still fight?" Roger asked.

"AYE! It'll take more than th' likes o' that t' bring me down!" DubloonMan said, reaching into his jacket for his flask and downing its contents.

The scorch marks on the back of his jacket disappeared, as did the laceration on his shoulder. More damage came undone as he continued to drink. The simple program could only repair so much at once and eventually stopped. Parts of him remain scathed, but at least he was back in fighting form, albeit with a flush face and a wobbly stance.

He gave the UFOs the dirtiest cut-eye he could manage before turning to the Rush. He refused to give up on his treasure and the little beast that kept it from him.

"DubloonMan! Stay back from the crystal! The tanks are aiming at you!" Roger said.

The words seemed jumbled in DubloonMan's mind but the order got through okay. The navi stumbled away from the Rush in a daze and reached in his coat for something to shoot it with. He felt around the emptiness of his jacket, patting himself down only to find nothing.

"Where be me- Where my guns are. No- No guns. WHY!?" DubloonMan cried out.

Roger was reluctant to slot in more chips after seeing what the UFO viruses were capable of. "If I send you anything, they'll just get stolen!"

"MORE GUNS!" DubloonMan shouted.

Though his navi was clearly in no condition to plan anything, his demand struck a chord. Roger could bait the viruses into stealing junk chips while he sent his navi the real ones. He had amassed quite a selection of chips and had confidence that this plan could work.

"Okay, DubloonMan. Get ready for Betty." Roger said, slipping in two Shotgun chips and readying a third.

DubloonMan clumsily grabbed his newly formed weapon and pointed it at the Rush. It was hard to aim in his inebriated state, but he pulled the trigger anyways. A second round chambered itself in the gun and DubloonMan was quick to fire that one as well.

Now was the moment of truth. Roger slipped in the Rope chip. If his navi could get this wrapped around the virus, it would certainly seize its movements and seeing as how the virus was half-burrowed, it would be a simple matter of circling the virus with a wide lasso and tightening it before it could escape. He was about to explain the plan but DubloonMan was already in the middle of using the chip. Waving the large lasso around his head in jerky motions, the loop slipped from his hand and unintentionally stretched out well beyond its normal size.

"Get it all the way around the virus!" proded Roger.

DubloonMan lurched forward with the ludicrously loose loop, sending the wide mouth well over the Rush and his support program at the same time. However, he overextended himself when he made his throw and fell forwards onto his face. That didn't stop him from executing the finishing blow as he pulled the cord tight, closing the lariat in an instant.

DubloonMan rolled over and eyed the flying saucers. He stretched out his arms and legs openly and took in a deep breath, "COME AND STEAL FROM ME IF YE DARE! ALL TH' MORE SWEET WHEN I STEAL TH' BEATIN' HEARTS FROM YER FILTHY CHESTS, YE FLYIN' COOKIN' POTS!"

His voice echoed everywhere and seemed to sober him up a bit as he got it out of his system. Sitting back up, he checked to see if the Rush had been caught this time.



Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage)
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage)
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage) (Gatling subtype ability)
1 - Groggy Grog (90 heal + off-target)
2 - Shotgun Rush (50 damage + spread 2)
3 - Shotgun Rush (50 damage + spread 2)
4 - Rope Rush (50 damage + hold 1)
5 - Panic Attack (nova 3 stun)

Fueled with rage, DubloonMan chugged down his trusty grog, which gave him the energy to push forward. (+90) He brandished his trusty Betty, but the UFOs were on to him, and zapped the gun with their strange rays again! (Shotgun + Shotgun Disabled!) Luckily, Roger had the plan laid out, and sent DubloonMan the real chip that would work on the Rush, which was the Rope chip. He whipped it about the mole, and hit paydirt! Unfortunately, the viruses were also on to him, with the Yorts and Catacks collectively launching all of their attacks at him. Somehow, though, his drunken stumbling let him unintentionally dodge out of the way of a lot of the attacks, taking only a part of the damage intended for him. (10, 10, 20) He shouted out in a powerful burst around him, stunning a good load of the viruses!

-- ENEMIES --
Rush: 2 HP [Behind] [Held!]
RedUFO A: 80 HP [In Front] [Stunned!]
RedUFO B: 80 HP [In Front] [Stunned!]
Yort A: 90 HP [In front] [Stunned!]
Yort B: 90 HP [In front] [Stunned!]
Catack A: 120 HP [In front]
Catack B: 120 HP [right]
Catack C: 120 HP [Left]

-- OBJECTS --
Green Mystery Data: 20 HP [Carried by Rush]

-- ALLIES --
DubloonMan.EXE: 80 HP [Off-Target! -1 Accuracy]
Cannonball.SP: 20 HP

-- TERRAIN --
100% Normal

"While they're frozen! Attack! Attack! Attack!" Roger ordered, slapping in a Fireburn chip into the PET.

"Eh?" DubloonMan grunted, having not fully recovered from his drunken state. A red gunpowder cask materialized next to him, which DubloonMan used to rest his head and arms for a bit.

"No! Wha- Come on! Snap out of it!" urged his operator.

The navi swatted at the air and grumbled, "Aaaaaagh... Go away."

Roger seemed to be out of options and just blurted out the first thing he thought would get a reaction, "...They're stealing your stuff!"

"WHAT!" DubloonMan bolted to attention, "WHO BE STEALIN' FROM ME!?"

"The UFOs! Get them before they take everything!" added Roger.

DubloonMan hoisted the barrel over his head with relative ease, having more difficulty maintaining his balance than with the weight of the keg. Lurching back to build up strength, he quickly launched the barrel at his enemies with a powerful thrust worthy of an olympic shotput medalist. A streak of black dust lined the path of the giant red projectile as Roger slotted in all the machinegun chips he had. DubloonMan reached into his jacket with both arms, retrieving a pair of flintlock pistols and aiming them to the sky.

"I'll see ye BURN fer yer trechery..." DubloonMan said, unloading a veritable wall of lead into his enemies. One of the shots struck the barrel, causing it to explode in a streak of fire that rolled up into the air. His blurry vision already hindering his attacks, DubloonMan could only aim at vague red blobs with his rapid fire potshots. Less concerned with landing a hit, he was mainly venting his rage. He poured more fury into the attack, slamming the trigger as fast as his programming would allow, assaulting his flying adversaries with a stream of stray shots. When the last lead shell left his pistol and empty clicks were all that filled the air, DubloonMan dropped his arms down and clutched his head. Somehow the attacks had sobered him up.

He looked around and saw the Rush still bound by the rope while Cannonball was still trying to land a solid jab on the elusive virus. He was still surrounded by the tanks but if the UFOs had fallen under his barrage, he would be able to take them out with relative ease.



1 - Action Recovery
2 - Fireburn RedUFOA, RedUFOB (90 damage)
3 - Machinegun1 RedUFOB (9 x 30 damage + Spray-Fire)
4 - Machinegun1 RedUFOB (9 x 30 damage + Spray-Fire)
5 - Machinegun1 RedUFOA (9 x 30 damage + Spray-Fire)
* - Rope Rush (50 damage)
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage)
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage)
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage) (Gatling subtype ability)

After a good bottle of grog and some yelling, DubloonMan felt a bit tired, but was roused to action when he was alerted to the UFOs. He threw the keg of gunpowder at the UFOs and Roger unloaded all the MachineGuns they had, with great results, even with DubloonMan's inebriation taking his aim off significantly. The Catack kept firing at him, landing a solid hit. (20) Meanwhile, Cannonball still couldn't get her beak on the Rush, even with the rope binding it, and it looked like it would break free soon.

-- ENEMIES --
Rush: 1 HP [Behind] [Held!]
RedUFO A: DELETED
RedUFO B: DELETED
Yort A: DELETED
Yort B: DELETED
Catack A: DELETED
Catack B: 120 HP [right]
Catack C: 120 HP [Left]

-- OBJECTS --
Green Mystery Data: 20 HP [Carried by Rush]

-- ALLIES --
DubloonMan.EXE: 60 HP
Cannonball.SP: 20 HP

-- TERRAIN --
100% Normal

DubloonMan and Cannonball could both see the Rush was nearing the end of its rope, both figuratively and literally. The navi still had access to the loose end of the top and gave the tether a tight pull before immediately drawing and firing a small pistol from his coat. Cannonball had become intent on finishing off the virus herself - It was making such a fool of her efforts that the fight had become personal. The angry bird refused to give up, relentlessly pecking at the bobbing head of the Rush. The floor around the two was covered in green feathers from all the vigorous flapping the support program had been doing.

"Only two more tanks left. Let's wrap this up." Roger said.

DubloonMan grinned shaking his hook at the Catack to his left, "Aye! It be high time t' give em a taste o' me RAGE hook!"

Taking a hint, Roger slipped the Rageclaw battlechip into the PET. His navi hunched over a moment before raising both his arms in triumph with the surge of battlechip data. His hook ablaze with a faint aura of sorts, DubloonMan charged the Cattack, ignoring incoming fire like a boss. Maneuvering behind the virus was easy enough though the next part of his plan required some elbow grease. He dug his heels into the ground and attempted to tackle the tank like a football lineman. Empowered with the Rageclaw, he had the strength to lift an enemy several times his own weight with one hand and he was eager to use the ability to its fullest. Another forcible flip of his arms would be more than enough to send it flying into its comrade.

"YARRRGGGH!" the pirate shouted.

Roger filled in the next part of the attack himself by slotting in the Dynamite and a Crackerbomb, "Time for some fireworks!"

"Yar ha-har! There won't be enough o' ye t' fill a thimble!" laughed DubloonMan, reaching into his jacket for the bundled stick of dynamite. He gave it a good toss, letting the unusually long fuse trail behind it as it arced through the air. The end of the fuse popped out from the confines of DubloonMan's coat as the explosive landed, bouncing once before sliding to a halt. The fuse spontaneously lit itself and the scorching spark raced its way to the viruses. Meanwhile, the Crackerbomb spawned in DubloonMan's arms though he was still powered by the Rageclaw. He effortlessly lifted the comically large bomb into the air with his hook and bumped it forward. The Crackerbomb and the burning fuse both touched down at the same time, resulting in a unified explosion that rocked the floor and caused the tail of his jacket to flap like a flag in the wind.

"And if ye survived that..." DubloonMan added, probing into his coat once more.

Roger didn't have much else and slotted in the BubbleSpreader, hoping that was what his navi was looking for. DubloonMan withdrew his soaking wet barnacle encrusted blunderbuss and grinned an evil grin.

"Nereid, me beaut', wash away their filth!" he taunted, pointing the gun to the Cattack and unloading a blast of pearly buckshot. It exploded in a rainbow cascade that shimmered briefly before disintegrating into a fine mist. The barrel of the gun continued to leak briny sea water even as DubloonMan holstered the weapon back into his coat.



* - Rope Rush (50 damage) {S}
1- Buster Shot Rush (2 damage) {A}
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage)
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage)
Cannonball - Attack Rush (15 damage) (Gatling subtype ability)
2 - Rageclaw throw CatackC at CatackB (20 damage) {B}
3 - Dynamite1 CatackB (100 damage + Blast 3) {D}
4 - Crackerbomb CatackB (80 damage + Panel Crack + Blast 3) {D}
5 - BubbleSpreader CatackC (50 damage + Spread 9) {A}

The Catacks get a shot off on DubloonMan (20) before everything proceeds to keel over and die.

-- ENEMIES --
Rush: DELETED
RedUFO A: DELETED
RedUFO B: DELETED
Yort A: DELETED
Yort B: DELETED
Catack A: DELETED
Catack B: DELETED
Catack C: DELETED

-- OBJECTS --
Green Mystery Data: 20 HP [Carried by Rush]

-- ALLIES --
DubloonMan.EXE: 40 HP
Cannonball.SP: 20 HP

-- TERRAIN --
100% Normal

-- BATTLE 08, VICTORY!! --

-- REWARDS --
2240z, 37 BugFrags

[Open GMD? Y/N]

Battered and bruised, DubloonMan stood triumphant over the scorched ruins of his enemies and laughed, "YAR HA-HAR! I LAUGH!"

Roger slumped back in his chair and realized he had spent too much time online and needed to take a break. This last encounter had been exhilirating and frustrating, but more importantly it was something new and got his blood pumping. It was exactly what he was after.

Cannonball was just pleased that the Rush had been deleted in the end and began feasting on its purple fragmented remains.

"Now! This gem be MINE! ALL MINE!" DubloonMan declared, placing a hand onto its surface, unwittingly unlocking its contents. The green shell cracked open to DubloonMan's horror, "NO!!"

((Open GMD))

As the green shell cracked open, a black sphere revealed itself from inside the mystery data crystal. The sphere immediately turned red, and erupted into a powerful explosion, ravaging DubloonMan's body with a painful fiery conflagration. He tried to resist its effects, but eventually, the fire ate through the last of his integrity, and the PET initiated its Emergency Jack-Out protocol.

[Bomb! -40 HP, Undershirt bypassed]
[Emergency Jack-Out]