Digital Chainsaw Saga

The 'Treetools' before Slay simply walked about, sometimes eating the grass while basically minding their own business. As expected, they weren't particularly hostile. At least... For now. One particular Treetool behind a couple of others chewed on some food it had taken with a bored expression, but something else was going on with the tree trunk on his head. A hole had been made in the tree and 2 brightly lit yellow eyes were staring directly at Slay. But when a Treetool walked in front of Slay's vision, the eyes vanished once the particular Treetool came into view again. A chuckle was heard and the yellow eyes popped up at a different Treetool. Quickly it was obvious that every single of these Treetools had a hole in their tree trunk, but only one would have the eyes within it.

A window with BrassiereMan's elegant bra-spectaled face appeared, looking at Slay. "A malfunction in the server 'as removed the chainsaw tools originally within it. That is why we needed you. This server should empower your own tool. Just start chopping them down. If you cut down 4 trees with your tool, we can get started on building our stage. Merci beaucoup." It was clear BrassiereMan had no idea about a possible hostile entity being amongst the Treetools. But before Slay could react to BrassiereMan or tell him about the eyes, the digital window vanished.

Even in this malicious situation with a wolf being placed in a flock of sheep, the Treetools didn't seem to mind Slay's presence and her eventual bloodlust. The mysterious eyes in the tree trunk, however, didn't seem totally happy with her being around. The eyes were never in the same Treetool for very long, sometimes not even around at all. Time to be a lumberjack.


TreetoolA: 80 HP
TreetoolB: 80 HP
TreetoolC: 80 HP
TreetoolD: 80 HP
TreetoolE: 80 HP

Slay: 150 HP

0/4 Wood Collected

Slay had studied enough scary movies to build up a sizable inventory of possible evil creatures that might be hiding within the trees and jumping from location to location. It might actually be a good story element for a script... If there weren't just five trees. Not to mention the fact that the trees were carried atop the heads of unassuming, otherwise bald metools. It would be pretty hard for anyone to take this situation seriously, given that context. That same movie buff instinct told her that it was absolute foolishness, an utter "death flag," to continue ignoring the eyes that no one but herself had noticed. That was the lowest form of dumb protagonist cliche... "Gordon, there's something in the trees. I saw a pair of eyes looking out," she finally pointed out.

The operator cast his unexpressive eyes down towards the PET screen, showing no emotion at all. "Really? Huh... It makes me think of another story idea. So, there's this monster that hides in trees, but it's just a pair of eyes... so laser eye-beams-"

"I was hoping you'd pass on the message to BrassiereMan and ask him if he's familiar with any kind of additional creature that might be in this network," she interrupted her operator. "Well. I've got a job to do regardless. So I'm not going to worry about it too much..." she sighed, raising her hands to the mask atop her head. As she brought the mask down to cover her face, her eyes widened, then a dark, red-black film of blood covered the eye holes, leaking out over the mask's surface so that crimson tears began to streak its gaunt cheeks. She lifted her knife into the air along with her other hand and the hilt began to extend, forming into a lever and bar... the blade vanished, transforming into a tarnished metal box. From that box, a blade extended, its edge serrated with wicked, razor sharp fangs of metal along a gnarled rubber track. She pulled the lever once to rev it, then again to keep power to it. It rumbled ominously and she couldn't help smiling behind her mask. "Ah... Classic. I'm also going to need another chip, though. Can you slot in the rageclaw? I'll just add it on..."

"Sure. I don't know how you use it. Makes me think of like... so there's this chainsaw killer, but he's got big bear claws and he can't really hold his chainsaw. So he's vengeful at all the guys who make chainsaws and other power tools, cause, y'know, they don't fit his hands. He goes on a killing spree... only, just using his hands, cause he can't use chainsaws."

"Then he was never really a chainsaw killer to start with, was he?" Slay responded. She hoisted the chainsaw up and over one shoulder (something one should never attempt to replicate in real life), then stuck out her other hand. Clawed fingers slowly extended out beyond the fingertips of each of her digits. "There. Now..." she murmured, walking over to the first Metool and hoping it still somehow wasn't trying to escape after seeing all of this. She reached out to dig her nails into the trunk of the tree. If she could manage to do that, she'd simply tip it over to knock into whichever Metool was closest to it. "And then... timber..." her voice spoke softly from behind her mask. Her voice wasn't even close to audible enough to be an effective timber, but luckily, she wasn't really trying to warn anyone. She placed both hands back onto her chainsaw and swung hard, attempting to sever the trunk cleanly off of the head of the Metool. She wouldn't cut too low... after all, attacking the metool would just complicate things, and she just needed some arbitrary quantity of wood anyways.

She kept her eyes out for any sign of the creature inside the trees again, preparing for evasive action. After what Gordon had said, she actually found herself wondering about the possibility of eye beams.

1) RageClaw1 @ TreetoolA into TreetoolB [hit and throw for 20 null melee to both + impact, B/B accuracy]
2) Chainsaw Slayer: First Cut @ TreetoolA [60 null melee + slashing, no TCD, A accuracy]
3) Dodge

As expected, the virus let itself get thrown without any resistance. Maybe it even enjoyed the little trip to his friend. But any enjoyment would soon stop as the Metool quickly understood what happened to his jungle headgear. Despite having revved up her chainsaw early, it was only now noticeable to the viruses and like a lightning bolt panic struck. The one slain Metool vanished, while the tree fell onto the floor in neat wooden boards. But the remaining 4 Treetools, started to shake their trees without elegance while running about.

A glimmer of the mysterious eyes was visible in the panic and hysteria. Following swiftly after the discovery, a quick flash of an attack was seen. But with Slay prepared for an incoming attack, she easily evaded it. In its trajectory she could see its shape was that of a needle, green and definitely originating from a tree. However Slay wasn't as lucky with a second attack coming from the group of trees. Shot with great speed, the launched needle embedded itself into one of Slay's legs. But despite it being stuck in her leg now, the pain wasn't as bad as it could've been.

However, the eyes managed to vanish before Slay's eyes again without a trace of where it had left. And even worse was that with the mayhem of the forest, there was no telling which tree was host to the eyes. But only a minor setback, 1 tree was successfully chopped down.


TreetoolA: - Timber'd -
TreetoolB: 60 HP [Panic]
TreetoolC: 80 HP [Panic]
TreetoolD: 80 HP [Panic]
TreetoolE: 80 HP [Panic]

Slay: 140 HP [1 Needle]

1/4 Wood Collected

Slay couldn't remember a time where anything she'd ever killed, in a movie or otherwise, had died in such a neat and productive way as falling into even planks of wood. Life wasn't usually so convenient, even in the days of the net. That said, although her first target had been pretty cooperative, it was clear now that the rest wouldn't make things so simple. "It could be worse... They could be attacking instead of just flailing around," the actor/murderer mused, walking slowly and remaining hunched with her chainsaw and bloody apron and mask, looking menacing without really doing anything. She saw a glint out of the corner of her eye and got out of the way of one attack, only to be hit by a second; the protective apron didn't do much to stop the pain in her leg, which was covered only by her skinsuit. "Dang," she murmured irritably; ultimately, it wasn't much of a setback, but it did remind her that there was something threatening that she needed a legitimate plan to take care of.

"Dang," Gordon agreed, nodding slowly. "I didn't get a look at it too well... But it gives me an idea. So, there's this martial artist and he's got his death poke, but it's like, too fast to see. Only, when he attacks with it, he's fighting samurai, and they're all covered in armor and everything... so he has to aim at the gaps in the armor... but his death poke is only lethal if he hits you in your pressure points, so like, he can't kill the samurai... and so they all gang up and start hacking him to bits..."

"For now, I'm going to focus on not ending up like that martial artist," Slay replied, giving her chainsaw another good rev. The best chainsaw wasn't a high-grade, reliable, state-of-the-art one. Rather, a perfect murder weapon chainsaw had to be rusty and noisy, poorly maintained but just energetic enough to spin its blades, which wouldn't cut neatly through wood, but would absolutely gore flesh in unfortunate accidents or otherwise even further unfortunate malpractice. In that respect, it probably shouldn't have been perfect for chopping these trees either, but the pleasantly clean slabs of wood said otherwise. "Although... I guess it doesn't matter too much if I use a strategy or not. If I just keep chopping these guys down, eventually the monster inside will lose all of his hiding spots. It's like Mason Gorehaus... he relies on a camera trick to move from place to place, traveling faster than his own top-speed while off camera. If you're just watching him the whole time, he can't threaten you so much."

"Right, right. So... I thought of this a while ago..." Gordon started, keeping his chips in the folder since Slay still had her rageclaw. "Like, imagine there's this monster-"

"If you're going to say he the protagonists beat him by sealing all of the portals he can come out of or something, that's not going to work... People don't like anticlimaxes like that," Slay quietly dissuaded her operator.

"No, not portals. Like, he comes out from under the bed. So they beat him by sawing all the legs off of the beds, so that they sit on the floor and he can't get out any more. I thought of it a while back when we were talking about cutting wood."

Slay almost pressed her palm to her face, then remembered she was equipped with long, nightmarish claws and stopped short. That would be some way for the horror movie monster to die. "That's why I wear a mask," she joked internally; it wasn't a good enough joke to verbalize, and even if it was, it'd just look out of character for her... not that Gordon would care or likely even react. Slay went back to work on the Metools, one of which she'd managed to damage earlier. That one could most likely be taken down by her chainsaw, like she'd gotten the other ones. "If I just keep eliminating its hiding places... That creature will become less of a threat. One of these times, I may even catch him in the attack. That's the killer mentality, isn't it? Usually, the kills all come one by one... well, no, because then there's a small group left that beats me in the end, following that logic. And I don't want that to happen," Slay sighed, swinging her chainsaw to smash through the tree of the Metool she'd injured earlier. This action was in sharp contrast to her quiet, movie-buff musing. After that, rather than replicate her earlier actions, she decided to swipe with her claw and attempt to slice a single Metool, rather than tossing one into another. This would consume less of her time and presumably assist her in evading further retaliation from whatever creature was angry at her for destroying its habitat.

1) Chainsaw Slayer: First Cut @ TreetoolB [60 null melee + slashing, no TCD, boosted A accuracy]
2) RageClaw1 @ TreetoolC [40 null melee + slashing, boosted A accuracy]
*) Sword subtype swordplay [dodge]
3) Dodge

The sound of falling pieces of lumber flew through the battlefield as one of Treetools fell in a stacked pile on the ground. A hissing sound was heard, but the eyes of the mysterious creature weren't visible in either of the trees. With one more fallen virus, the Treetools resumed in their panic attacks without even stopping to check on their ally.

But in their extreme panic, they were masters of evasion. Slay's swipe was completely avoided by the Treetool, but it was not completely useless. A needle from the mysterious creature had been launched at her, but deflected by Slay's swipe. A fortunate situation for her. And just as before, right after the first attack a second needle was launched from an unseen location. But it completely missed its mark, as apparently one of the Treetools had obscured the sight between the creature and Slay. The Treetool had moved on and the glowing eyes were seen in the Treetool behind it, however a disappointed grimace was hanging below it. It hissed again, only to vanish again.

However Slay's slash had done more than just deflect the attack in the end. The unlucky Treetool had tumbled over and, due to the weight of the tree on top of its head, could not stand up. Not to mention its legs were way too short to actually reach the ground now. A master of evasion had been degraded to nothing more than a fallen tree.

But before Slay could gloat, or something similar, to the opponent now being open to attacks, a sharp pain shot through her leg. The needle that had been stuck in her was pumping poison through her systems and didn't feel like it would stop any time soon. Either she would continue on with it and completely her task despite it or make sure it wasn't there anymore. Either way, she was down to 2 piles of lumber and 2 still to go.


TreetoolA: - Timber'd -
TreetoolB: - Timber'd -
TreetoolC: 80 HP [Fallen]
TreetoolD: 80 HP [Panic]
TreetoolE: 80 HP [Panic]

Slay: 130 HP [1 Needle]

2/4 Wood Collected

Whatever was lurking inside the trees and attacking her, it looked none too happy, which made perfect sensem seeing as she was destroying its habitat and all. She didn't personally believe, however, that wildlife conservation was a principle that was supposed to carry over to the net, so she didn't overthink it. As she watched the fallen Metool, it occurred to her that the creatures were highly unfortunate to be burdened with those trees. Metools didn't have a lot of battle advantages to begin with, so the lack of a pickax and addition of a tree that unbalanced its weight when it falls over might really wipe out the virus' species. She needed more wood, though, and mercy wasn't in the vocabulary of one so suited to playing mass murderers in horror flicks.

She began walking over slowly to where it had fallen, clicking the claws on her hand together menacingly out of force of habit. When she reached the fallen metool, she realized that the stinging from the needle that hit earlier hadn't gone away and that, furthermore, her leg felt numb. It could be because of her heavy gear, but if that was the case, she'd feel that way all the time. Rather, she ascertained that the needle, which remained stuck in her leg, was transmitting some kind of poison. That wasn't good; she figured that leaving it there would be about as bad as getting hit with more of the needles themselves, so she paused to pluck it out. "Alright... Where were we..." she murmured, then quickly fell to the floor and attempted to pierce the Metool's tree with her claw. If she could hold it down thusly, she would then run her previously revved chainsaw's blade across the bark and through the center, chopping the length in two (not that it would matter how she chopped it, as apparently it would just fall into even portions regardless).

"You're poisoned, Slay," Gordon pointed out unhelpfully.

"I know. I'm hoping that extracting the needle will lessen the effect, as there seems to be some delay in the transfer," she responded.

"So, it gave me an idea for another story. There's this apothecary who makes poisons and he gives them to the victims, but there's such a delay in the response of the poison that the guys live mostly normal lives, only every 20 years they feel some of the effects, until finally they die in like the fourth movie. It's kind of meta, you know? Cause everyone keeps watching the movies and every movie the guys get a little less healthy, but you don't know when it will stop."

"I think it's safe to say that it wouldn't be more than four movies for them all to die out, on average. But then, I would also be surprised if you maintained viewership throughout that many movies," she shrugged. "Given that the first movie or two sounds pretty dry. And when does he poison them? When they're babies? I don't think anyone wants to see babies getting poisoned."

"Okay, so what if he poisons them when they're middle-aged?"

"... Then they'd die of natural causes before we saw the effects. You're distracting me," she huffed, dismissing any further talk of hideously slow-acting toxins. She was still wary, but she didn't think she'd be lucky enough to bat away another needle if the unknown creature came at her again.

1) Pluck out needle
2) RageClaw1 @ TreetoolC [40 null melee + slashing, boosted A accuracy]
3) Chainsaw Slayer: First Cut @ TreetoolA [60 null melee + slashing, no TCD, S accuracy due to mission rules]
*) Sword subtype Swordplay [dodge]

As expected the poison was gone along with the needle, but in its place Slay had now grown a small branch with leaves attached to it. The mysterious opponent did not like the removal of the needle at all and a loud hissing sound was heard throughout the network. Which did not decrease in volume at all once Slay made quick work of another Treetool. Once again in its place was now a stack of properly ordered wooden boards and only one moreTreetool was necessary for BrassiereMan's requirement.

The remaining Treetools were still panicking, not showing any sign of ever experiencing the feeling of relaxation again. Not being relaxed either was the mysterious entity within the trees. Its glimmering red eye appeared inside the hole of a Treetool, but then another red eye appeared in the other Treetool. A loud hissing sound was heard, the creature being clearly angry at the situation, and once again tried to attack Slay. A needle shot out from each tree, trying to get Slay off guard and succeed at doing so. Slay managed escape one of the needles, but she was less fortunate with the second one. Now pierced through her shoulder, the needle's ends visible on opposite sides of her shoulder, a weird combination of hissing and giggling was heard from the trees. But there was no sign of any poison yet.

But there was something different after the attacks. The eyes within the two trees didn't fade away. Was it really just one entity? Did those two eyes belong to one creature? Or multiple creatures? Which creatures were still keeping their eyes closed...? But the task at hand was simple for Slay. One more tree and she would make a weird bra-wearing guy very happy.


TreetoolA: - Timber'd -
TreetoolB: - Timber'd -
TreetoolC: - Timber'd -
TreetoolD: 80 HP [Panic]
TreetoolE: 80 HP [Panic]

Slay: 120 HP [1 Needle]

3/4 Wood Collected

Slay almost wished she'd left the needle in after she saw what had taken its place: the honest-to-goodness stem of some sort of plant life, now growing out of her. "A parasite?" she asked out loud. Well, she was a practical person, so she'd be glad that the injuries had stopped, anyways. For a moment, at least. Before too long, she was hit with another needle and a new set of problems. She really didn't want to pull it out again and have another new growth sticking out of her shoulder, but she supposed it was unavoidable. Frowning behind her mask (as she really always was regardless), Slay plucked it out, fully expecting another unwanted branch to pop out of her body.

"You alright? Well... It looks like you are," Gordon mumbled, showing only the briefest flicker of interest. "I once pulled an all-nighter and fell asleep over my box of pen-tips, and they all got stuck into my face. My friends called me pin-head for the rest of the day. Point being, getting stuff stuck in you hurts." Slay smiled a bit, happy that Gordon was talking about something other than a script for once. "Which gets me to thinking... how about this idea... there's this guy who grows gnarly plant parts when he gets stabbed... like, they spring out of the wounds... and trying to kill him with bullets just makes more plants come out. So even once he's dead, there's tons of new plants, like a garden, growing out of his body..."

"The plant parts move and attack things, right?" Slay interjected.

"... Oooh, yeah, that's even better," Gordon responded slowly. "Or like... maybe that's the sequel, after he gets shot in the first movie?"

"Think about getting through the first movie before you plot the sequel," Slay sighed, then returned her focus to her own troubles. It didn't seem as though her RageClaw had much use left in it; she felt the individual claws wiggling in their sockets a bit now as she clacked them together. But now, all she needed to do was make wood out of one more tree and she'd have everything she needed to bring back to BrassiereMan. Of course, she was also partially disturbed by the realization that what she'd originally taken for two eyes on one creature was actually one eye each in two separate creatures... if she was even seeing that correctly. It could be something stranger still. "Whatever this thing is, you could take some horror writing pointers from it," the navi pointed out, addressing her operator.

"So you're not going to kill it?" Gordon asked, raising his eyebrows. "Cause like... I don't think I can really learn anything from it. You might as well kill it, in my opinion."

"You're probably right. I'm not really planning on killing it unless I need to, though," she shrugged, resting her buzzing chainsaw on her shoulder with seeming neglect for the way it was rumbling, bouncing up and down off her shoulderblade. "I can't say the same for those trees, though. I've got to get one more," she reiterated, then moved in, reaching out to grab one with her free hand. She intended to squeeze the body of the tree inside her claw, then chop the rest off with her chainsaw once she had a hold of it. She also realized, however, that the creature in the trees was only becoming more dangerous as it lost more of the hiding places it was protecting, so she prepared to make evasive maneuvers if more needles came at her.

1) Pluck out needle
2) RageClaw1 @ TreetoolD [40 null melee + slashing, boosted A accuracy]
3) Chainsaw Slayer: First Cut @ TreetoolD [60 null melee + slashing, no TCD, S accuracy due to mission rules]
*) Sword subtype Swordplay [dodge]

The Treetool made a valiant attempt to escape Slay's iron grip, but only succeeded in making a fool of itself as it tripped over a loose root and tumbled onto the ground. Slay's chainsaw made quick work of the virus, a neat pile of timber appearing on its place. The remaining Treetool wasn't having any of this and quickly ran for the horizon, clearly looking for new adventures and/or new people to cut him down.

The hissing, however, did not stop. Despite the lack of walking trees, the presence of the unknown creature was still clearly within the fields. Literally within the fields, as suddenly two worms jumped out of the ground and at Slay. But before they could connect with a bite or any other sort of attack, a giant top hat swept Slay from the ground and to safety. "Just in the nick of time," BrassiereMan said, dropping Slay out of the top hat as it shrunk back to a regular size. Now she had some distance from the new enemies, she could clearly see what they were. They were a pair of worms, each with a mouth filled with razor-sharp teeth and a bright yellow light from their innards. Their exterior was similar to the bark of a tree, with a few branches sticking out at random. Slay had never seen eyes. She had seen their opened mouths.

"I will take it from 'ere," BrassiereMan said as he looked at Slay, "No need for your chainsaw. My lingerie will be enough for these cretins." The Navi put his top hat back onto his hat, but only after pulling a slingshot fashioned with a bra for rubber band out. "Passavant li meillor!" he shouted before charging into battle with his stupid weaponry. But it was now safe for Slay to get out of this place.


TreetoolA: - Timber'd -
TreetoolB: - Timber'd -
TreetoolC: - Timber'd -
TreetoolD: - Timber'd -
TreetoolE: 80 HP [Panic]

Slay: 120 HP

4/4 Wood Collected - FINISHED

Slay knew that she didn't have the right to judge horrific monsters for being terrible, given her own profession as an actor who plays gross-looking antagonists in movies, but something about burrowing, angry worms with glowing innards made her uncomfortable all the same. When BrassiereMan arrived to pitch in, she was more than happy to let him take over. "Okay... Thanks," she murmured, almost taking back her gratitude once she saw that he planned to use a bra like a slingshot. "What is this guy... an eight year old?" she thought to herself, her lack of enthusiasm expressing itself as a deep sigh from behind her mask.

"Huh, that slingshot gives me an idea for another script..." Gordon commented. Slay really had no desire to hear what sort of script could result from that inspiration, so she gave BrassiereMan another quick nod, then jacked out from Beach Net.

((Jacking out))