ACDC Virtual Park

Bruce wasn't the only one worried that the action on-screen was significantly saucier than his own date; Teruko knit her brows and crossed her arms seriously, realizing that her navis had set the bar far too high. But she knew that was bound to happen, as Ante drew attention even when she wasn't trying to and Bruce presumably wouldn't have made Dare in a way that didn't appeal to him. "Some of us have to work within the constraints of society... not to mention human metabolism, dammit!" she thought to herself, watching Dare's display, showing off the jiggle where it was fashionable to have it. Teruko felt pretty confident she could do that too, but then, she had a jiggle in a few less desirable places as well.

The whole team was making progress, but only now did it occur to Ante that this contest wasn't a team judgment. If one of the enemy team made it to the goal first, then all of this effort would be for nothing, and she might lose some sleep over suggesting her partner take off her clothes in front of everyone for no reason. Her method hadn't been especially effective in getting the Mettaur to eat, unfortunately, but to move now would only make the bowl clatter down and scare her Mettaur, and she couldn't really see back there enough to move it into a more comfortable position, without risking messing up her Mettaur's dinner. With that in mind, she was basically stuck, so she made the best of her situation and used the time to think of how they might still pull this one out of the frier. At this point, no amount of urging on her own Mettaur was likely to work unless she also quelled the head of steam that the big heelnavi had managed to give his own Mettaur.

She was also mildly irritated to see that her original strategy of pretending to be a Mettaur and using hitting the ground to mimic a pickaxe was working so well. If my wardrobe malfunction wasn't so complete and devastating, I might be doing that well now," she thought with a pouty frown. That did, however, give her an idea of her own. "Miss Dare, I have another idea. This one is significantly less degrading than my previous idea, I assure you, although it is somewhat unsportsmanly. But please, give it a try," she encouraged her partner in the next lane over, while trying not to stare at her friend's sexy display. "Take this weapon of mine," she began, handing over her lengthy, silver polearm, with its club-head attached. "I want you to reach over into the lane of the HeelNavi that is winning the contest, and begin thudding a steady rhythm in the direction opposite of his goal. Try to distract the Mettaur and get him to either halt his movement and head in that direction. It should be effective, as it appears they respond well to the sound. I, in the mean time, will mimic the strategy in my own lane, once my virus baby finishes his meal."

She waited a bit until it finished, then got back to her knees and experimentally began to hit the ground, seeing if she could lure her baby virus the way the big heelnavi had. Unfortunately, her fists were nowhere near as powerful and she'd given over her weapon. "Oh dear... Teruko, please slot me in a Rageclaw chip. I need to be able to generate that noise," she requested. Although usually she'd be able to grab opponents with her staff's head after using this chip, it instead manifested this time as a more generic red glove with a black, spade head extending off the back of the hand and past the knuckles. She began to pound again, now able to generate a clinking noise. "Please, little Mettaur... Please respect the effort that Miss Dare and I are putting into this and follow me. Please don't make me do another contest in my underwear," she begged him, hoping that her prayers would reach him despite the language barrier. "You don't want to make Mommy cry, do you?"

Dare didn't allow herself much comfort at the fact that she had finally gotten her Mettaur moving. Observing the competitors in the other lanes, it was clear to her that she was still near the bottom of the heap in terms of actual progress. Still, she could feel the temperature from Ante and her operator, and took that as a sign that she had already won her small victory. Having collected that, Dare got back on track trying to think of what she could do to amplify her own routine. "Feels kind of silly to be breaking it down like this for a virus ghost, but if I've gotta do it, I've gotta do it..."

Whatever Dare had been about to do, however, she had to put the idea aside in favor of not getting hit by her ally's weapon flying through the air. Dare clicked her teeth, listening to Ante's explanation. "You're really making me turn on a dime here, Ante!" she called out, trying to put her frustration at suddenly being told to change plans, the interruption of her temporary momentum, and the irritation of her ally shouting out their strategy for everyone else to hear and plan to counter. All in all, she felt quite literally caught with her pants down.

Still, Ante's serpentining strategy showed that she still hadn't given up, and she was counting on Dare for the same. Dare wasn't going to give in, but if she wanted to work smart and cool, not hard and lame. Frankly, the idea of both members of their dynamic duo copying the winning strategy while they were already behind the pacesetter felt pretty weak. A weak suggestion like that was uncharacteristic of Ante... which made Dare begin to think that perhaps Ante was actually setting up a cover. "A bait and switch... she's setting the foreground with one strategy while I plan another."

Since she thought the best strategy would be one she developed organically, she decided to go ahead and put Ante's strategy to work and phase into a new plan from there. It was hard to just let go of the progress she was starting to get out of her Mettaur, and to rely on an underhanded strategy, but there was no goal but the goal line. As such, Dare moved as quickly as she could considering her handicap, making her way to the large HeelNavi's adjacent lane. She thought to herself that her funny steps were probably wagging her tail pretty nicely for the other HeelNavi, and she kept her fingers crossed that she might at least keep his attention a bit longer.

Once in the adjacent lane, Dare began pounding Ante's staff onto the floor. In the midst of her devious work, she kept her eyes ahead, focusing on the good guy who was closest to the finish line. Was there any way she could use his strength against him? Finally, Dare thought she grasped a thread in the dark... she thought this plan might be a keeper, with the only drawback being she would have to rely on her acting again. She was still reeling from the lack of success she'd had with her Mettaur. Anyway, maybe it would work, because this would be acting from life. In a certain sense, she really was feeling this way...

Dare began to pick up her pounding frantically, making her expression one of frustrated focus. What she was really focusing on wasn't the foreground strategy, however... her focus was preparing to brace for pain, as she suddenly and intentionally slammed the club head into her foot. Howling in pain and screwing her eyes shut, the Navi fell into a pathetic heap of bawling and half-removed clothing. Through a combination of self-injury, focusing on her sad situation, and good-old-fashioned shutting one's eyes really hard, Dare managed to summon small teardrops to the corners of her eyes. "Waaaaaaaaaaagh! This sucks! All I wanted to do was win the contest, and now I look like an idiot! This is the worst...! And I couldn't even break the stupid floor tile! W-won't someone help me?!"

Dare sniffled, now red in the face and actually tearing up a bit. A good bit of that wasn't faked, as this was in fact the most embarrassing thing (by her own standards) that she had done in her so-far short time on the Net. Still, maybe she could appeal to her competitor's sense of chivalry (pity?) and distract him long enough for her allies to pick up a win. She just hoped her allies would roll with it...

... At least, better than Bruce was. Somehow failing to understand how out-of-character Dare was acting, Bruce seemed to be taking the act at face value and rapidly trying to draw Teruko's attention away from his super lame Navi. "H-hey, this contest is getting pretty boring, right? You think Ante has a plan to win this?"

Dare gripped a tight fist around her instincts and forced herself not to yell at Bruce and, instead, keep on crying.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Stooping to sabotage, are we?" VultureMan was now amused as well as turned on, though he was definitely aware of the irony, given his reputation. "Hey, big guy! They're gonna try something to hinder you!" On the plus side, all the hecticness apparenntly kept him from hearing the exact plans. On the down side, him being so focused on Ante meant that it probably wasn't especially brilliant for her to be shouting out plans.

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PhoenixMan flew in place as his Mettaur ate, sizing up everyone's situation. It was starting to look like it'd come down between Ante and the giant HeelNavi, since the regular HeelNavi was a bit 'distracted'...though, he couldn't help but scratch his head at what Dare was doing. What was hitting the floor like that going to accomplish at this-whoa whoa whoa. Did she just...yeah, she actually did just hit herself in the foot. Noting that his virus ghost wasn't about done, he sped over to his teammate, landing next to her. "You got yourself pretty good...but I can fix it." He began to create some more of the ash creating flames, which floated down, and the pain suddenly vanished. "Though, I have to ask...why do you have Ante's rod?"

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The giant HeelNavi and Mettaur alike were both alerted by the pain filled cries of Dare, who both stared at her, then at each other, then back at her. "OOH, THAT HAD TO HURT! TOO BAD I'M NO GOOD AT HEALING." The large Navi then noticed PhoenixMan fly over, and nodded approvingly. "GUESS SHE'LL BE OKAY. SO, METTAUR, WHERE WERE WE?" The virus ghost responded by happily slamming its pickaxe into the ground. "RIGHT!" Their pace resumed, and they were nearing the starting line...

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Dare's Mettaur was highly alarmed by the initial scream, but quickly began to make some noise of its own, as it started to clamor. Was it trying to draw attention to its partnered Navi? Was it just letting off steam? It was hard to tell...

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It didn't take too long for Ante's Mettaur to finish what was left of its food, letting out a small burp as it leaned back. There was always the question of how it did that, but that would involve wondering how it ate in the first place, and there just wasn't going to be a satisfactory answer for that. It started to close its eyes, but they popped open as the Navi's hand changed. Unlike when Dare did it, however, the virus ghost seemed more curious than scared. Maybe it was because it wasn't on fire. Or maybe Ante's interpretation of the RageClaw didn't look very threatening. Either way, it actually seemed quite fascinated by the whole thing, getting about as close as it could without risking getting hit in the process of making noise. She had its undivided attention.

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The HeelNavi gasped as the woman he was staring at hit herself in the foot, half snapping back into reality. But only half, as he immediately bolted for Dare. Or he would've, but a black hand grabbed him before he could get very far. "And just where do you think YOU'RE going?"

"The hot chick's hurt!"

"And I care because...?" Fortunately for him, VultureMan noticed that his other underling was still maintaining his lead, causing him to shrug. "...Meh, whatever. You wanna help, go help." With that, he immediately resumed staring at Ante.

"Thanks, boss!" The bolting continued, though by this point PhoenixMan had arrived and given some first aid. The HeelNavi silently cursed his boss for his not being the first to the scene. Still, he couldn't just head back, that'd make him look stupid. "So, are you all right?" Meanwhile, his Mettaur began to walk over, negating pretty much the entire lead he had over Ante. Not that he even noticed he was in second place at the moment.

CURRENT PLACE:
Lane 3: Giant HeelNavi - Mettaur is happy, and almost done heading back
Lane 6: HeelNavi - Mettaur is wandering over near Dare's location; HeelNavi has slightly snapped out of it, but not much
Lane 5: Ante - Mettaur is done eating, and is spellbound by the RageClaw
Lane 2: PhoenixMan - Mettaur is still eating; PhoenixMan is over tending to Dare
Lane 4: Dare - Mettaur is making some noise for unknown reasons
Lane 1: VultureMan - Safely in last place

Ante's plan hadn't depended on discretion, so she simply rolled her eyes as VultureMan attempted to play it against her. She saw that Dare clearly wasn't happy with her direction on strategy... admittedly, it wasn't the "coolest" plan, but as Ante had learned again and again and again recently, sometimes pride had to take backseat to results. Still, Dare accepted her trademark metal weapon. Just as soon as the strategy was put into motion, however, Dare seemingly slipped up and smacked herself right on the foot. Ante knew that her weapon was only to be wielded by professionals and was an easy thing to mishandle, but still, she found herself gawking with wide eyes at just how far south the situation went in a short matter of time. In spite of herself, she averted her eyes and tried to keep a passive expression, as if she either hadn't seen anything at all or was otherwise trying to disassociate herself with her partner.

Teruko was no better judge of character than Bruce and also putting on an awkward smile, trying to play off how miserable Dare's apparent failure was. "Sure! Yeah, she's a super ancient net knight. She's always got something in her back pocket, even though she almost never has a back pocket. You know, cause her pants are always coming off!" the operator laughed not at all awkwardly. "Although, her last plan didn't work out so well... B-But Dare's right on the cusp of victory, you can see it burning in her tears! Her eyes, I mean!"

As Ante allowed her eyes to wander back over (discretely), she discovered that one competitor and annoyingly enough one well-meaning ally were now distracted by Dare's superbly embarrassing blunder. The bad part was that the one competitor they most needed distracted was not in the same boat; he was just about heading past the finish line. She finally had her Mettaur moving at a good speed, but even so, she wouldn't manage to pass the progress he'd already made without some further plan. She could hardly afford to take another risk and lose the attention of her virus baby ghost again... that meant continuing a steady pace towards the finishing line, using her miniature claw. "I'm sorry, Dare, but it's up to you now... If Dare can't come up with a strategy, I'm afraid the contest is lost," she murmured, not loud enough for anyone but her operator to hear.

Hearing that, Teruko figured the best course of action would be to pass the concern calmly along to Bruce and then discuss their best option for how to proceed. This meant grabbing Bruce's shoulders and violently shaking him while raising her voice in panic. "Bruce, you gotta get Dare to stop that heel navi! If he reaches the finish line, Ante and Dare lose! Stop eating breadsticks and do something!" she demanded, although he'd hardly have a chance to think with all the shaking. Hopefully he'd at least tell Dare she needed to come up with something.

Even having resigned the thinking to Dare, something that Ante was loathe to do, as she preferred to handle all of her own planning, Ante continued to try to think up a strategy. The big heelnavi defied ordinary conventions of a heelnavi... he wasn't interested in girls, he was an adept showman, and most bizarrely, he was even an effective mother figure for a baby virus ghost. Being unable to get a read on their opponent had meant underestimating him frequently throughout the competition. He was strong physically and morally... so the only strategy she could still think of was to test his brains. But she had to be sure that VultureMan wouldn't interfere and set the record straight... that made tricking him a difficult puzzle, even if he was gullible enough to fall for something.

She turned her head to the heelnavi and smiled encouragingly. "You there! Congratulations on getting so far. I can tell you have a real bond with your Mettaur," she complimented him. It was the truth, as strange as it seemed. Next, she put her wiles to work and adopted a frown and stern-set eyebrows. She sighed and shook her head. "We're opponents, so I didn't want to tell you... but seeing that the two of you have become such good friends, I think I ought to. The bed over in lane 3 is especially ill-suited for Mettaur babies. Its construction is poor and, having enjoyed many luxury beds myself, I can tell you that it will not be a comfortable sleep. It may even take him a while to fall asleep, not to mention the nightmares he could incur. I would highly recommend you lead your Mettaur over to lane 6 instead and use that bed. Your ally is preoccupied, so he won't be using it, and from this distance, I can assure you that it is an option of far greater quality," she assured her enemy, putting on her most charming (hopeful) smile. She knew that VultureMan would be prepared to tell him that was a trick, so she engaged him in conversation next, blushing and looking as girlish as she could. "Oh my, you're picturing me in a luxury bed now, aren't you? You're wondering how I tested the sheets and what I sleep in, provided that I wear any clothing to bed at all? To think that a lady of my breeding would wear anything scandalous into bed... I would never sleep in the nude, even to enjoy the feel of the silken sheets against my bare skin, or to embrace the softness of the yielding mattress with the exposed curves of my body, just sinking into its surface as into the caress of a lover!"

"... I want a bed like that," Teruko remarked, thinking that it all sounded rather sensual. With a bed like that, a girl would hardly need a boyfriend. "It's pretty unfair to be thin AND rich, Ante!"

Ante ignored her and kept on as well as she could, now becoming genuinely heated as she put more mental images into both of their heads. "You wouldn't know about these sorts of luxurious sleeping arrangements. After all, I've only... well, I've never slept with anyone. I always lie alone, that is," she admitted, a genuine confession of her virginity. "What are you making me say?! Oh dear..." she murmured, trying her best to look girlish and affected while also tapping her pointed instrument against the ground.

"Oh my!" the Black Queen said inside her head, which only made her feel more embarrassed, seeing as the one in there knew she wasn't kidding when she talked about her trepidation towards sharing a bed with a man. Ante resisted the urge to hiss her quiet.

Dare was dismayed to see that her strategy seemed to be having far from the intended effect: she'd managed to distract the attention of one of her allies and failed to capture that of her intended target. Worse than perhaps all of this, Dare had the impression that five out of five of her allies had failed to realize her embarrassing injury was intentionally self-afflicted (probably six out of six, if PhoenixMan had an operator watching this). Normally let her actions speak for her and didn't tote her own accomplishments, but most heroes didn't engage in such villainous acts of subterfuge. Dare decided that once this was all over, she would make certain her allies knew that drop wasn't a fumble.

Regardless, that would be then. This was now. Luckily, although she could see the less heavy HeelNavi moving her way, PhoenixMan had at least made it there first. That gave her a second for a one-on-one to try and get the would-be hero back on track to a may-be victory. She briefly placed a hand on PhoenixMan's chest while rising back to her feet. With her head still down, she muttered low and quiet to try and communicate with him. "Fake! Go!" she hissed, before finally managing to get back to her feet. She pushed off of him lightly to make her point, before falling back over against the chest (possibly into the arms?) of the tail-chasing HeelNavi.

While temporarily keeping her head down, Dare scanned her eyes and ears around to try and get a grip on the situation...

"Woah, hey, Dare!" Bruce spoke to her. "Pull yourself together! Teruko and Ante are counting on you to pull out a strategy against the big guy, he's almost to the end!"

Dare gritted her teeth, feeling she couldn't really do anything for them on that front. If she kept assaulting the winner's position, even if she did come up with something, VultureMan would probably wise up and go on defensive. Right now, she would do all she could to keep the enemy she had in hand occupied. Hopefully, Ante or PhoenixMan would have some strategy to try and reclaim the lead.

"I'm so embarrassed," she said to the HeelNavi honestly, propping herself up to look into his eyes. "Thanks to PhoenixMan, it's feeling a little better, but it's still a little sore... it's tough to ask this from a member of the other team, but could you help me back over to my lane? The show must go on, and injured foot or not I gotta keep trying to win..." She decided in this case a mix of truth and lies would be most effective. From what she could hear, Ante was laying on a thick and sultry call to the large HeelNavi, probably attempting to test his intelligence (this speech was something Dare wanted to hear more of herself, but she couldn't really focus). If she tried to lay it on thick with her target as well, two outcomes were probable: either they'd wise up themselves, or VultureMan would wise them up himself. However, she thought she might have better luck if she played it cool... acting like she was leveling with her opponent, not running counter to her usual motivations, giving her target a chance to be heroic (and touchy-feely, she suspected) while not making it obvious that's what she wanted him to do. She resolved to let him get away with whatever "help" he thought was appropriate.

Most importantly, however, she needed to make her way back to her lane. She didn't know what her Mettaur was crying about, but she was beginning to fear that if it got upset and started crying due to her actions, some rule about her "hurting" her Mettaur might be called into play. If she got disqualified, she wouldn't care. Her bigger concern was she couldn't remember if she'd verified whether or not the DQ would be for her alone or her entire team... in any case, she felt compelled to figure out what was going on.

As it turned out, Ante played VultureMan like a fiddle. He looked amused at first, entertained at the very notion of one of the 'good guys' trying to deceive one of his subordinates, but as she shifted the topic a bit, he found his judgement increasingly clouded by mental images of Ante lying naked in a bed, to the point he couldn't actually spit out the flaw in the other Navi's deception. Nope, he was just flying, staring, and imagining...

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PhoenixMan shot Dare an odd look as she tried to push him off, and gave her an equally terse response, motioning to his own Mettaur in the process: "Eating. Stay." Most likely, he was pointing out that he wasn't actually losing any progress at the moment, since he couldn't exactly eat the food in place of his virus. Still, when he realized she had the HeelNavi distracted, he decided to let it go, and with a silent nod, turned to head back to his lane.

Right around then, his Mettaur sat back, finished with the meal. The firebird Navi starting creating more flames and ash, regaining the virus ghost's attention, and they started to move back to the starting point. Barring a catastrophe, however, they probably weren't going to make it back in time.

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"WHY, THANK YOU! YOU'RE NOT TOO BAD WITH YOURS, YOURSELF!" While still moving, the giant HeelNavi saw no reason to not be civil to the enemy. "WHAT, YOU THINK THAT OTHER BED'S COMFIER? ...WELL, TOO BAD FOR US, SINCE I'M PRETTY SURE WE HAVE TO USE OUR OWN BEDS. I'M SURE THEY'RE ALL PRETTY COMFY, THOUGH!"

With that, Navi and Mettaur crossed the starting line, and over to the bed. The former kneeled down to the latter, for a little talk. "SO, HOW DO YOU FEEL?" The virus ghost put away its pickaxe, pretty sure that that was the end of the fun. It looked at the bed, and tilted itself quizzically at it. "GUESS VIRUSES AREN'T USED TO BEDS...THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN SLEEP IN! IT'S NICE AND SOFT, SO IT'S EASY TO FALL ASLEEP IN!" To prove his point, he pushed a couple of fingers into it, getting a good couple of inches in there. "WOW, THAT REALLY IS PRETTY SOFT! I BET YOU'LL LIKE IT! COME ON, HOP IN!"

The Mettaur, after a moment of hesitation, decided that the HeelNavi hadn't deceived it thus far, so there was no need to suspect anything, and hopped into the bed. Its eyes immediately began to grow heavy, and it began to lower its helmet...it wouldn't be long until it was out like a light.

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Dare's Mettaur managed to stop being loud, instead wandering over towards her. Didn't seem particularly interested in doing anything race oriented, though.

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While it couldn't understand a lick of what Ante was saying, her Mettaur was too focused on the RageClaw to listen anyway. As the Navi moved forward, so did the virus ghost, remaining steadfast in its fascination of the device. The two were getting close to the finish...but would it be enough?

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As it turned out, the HeelNavi wasn't quite expecting Dare to move into him like that, and as such, the two fell back onto the ground, with the latter laying onto the former. As they fell, however, the generic Navi grabbed her without thinking, trying to keep her from landing on the ground after sustaining her injury. Thing was, he ended up getting 'a grip the situation', where the situation was her right breast. Almost reflexively, he ended up giving it a quick squeeze, before realizing what had happened and stopped.

"Uh, sure thing!" He wasn't without chivalry entirely, at least, as he helped her pick herself up, and get back to her lane. He seemed to be deliberately going at a fairly slow pace...whether it was because he was concerned about her foot, just a desire to enjoy the moment, or some other reason, wasn't very clear. It was hard to get a read on someone when they didn't actually have a face.

On the plus side, his Mettaur was now walking with him, and that meant that it wasn't walking towards the starting line. With that, he probably wasn't going to beat his colleague.


CURRENT PLACE:
Lane 3: Giant HeelNavi - Mettaur is happy, and almost done heading back
Lane 5: Ante - Mettaur is still quite fascinated by the RageClaw, and is drawing close to the starting area
Lane 6: HeelNavi - Helping Dare back to her lane; Mettaur is walking and watching the scene
Lane 2: PhoenixMan - Navi and Mettaur are starting to head back
Lane 4: Dare - Mettaur is wandering over to Dare
Lane 1: VultureMan - Has probably completely forgotten he even has a Mettaur

After a certain point, Ante would have to concede that enough was enough. She'd talked big about how victory came first, honor and dignity later, but she'd had a lot of time to think to herself, done a lot of nonsense, and experienced a lot of failure. The black queen noticed Ante's thoughts shifting and cautioned her. "Are you sure you want to go that route? Your partner's a very competitive person and that may sound like 'giving up,'" the Black Queen cautioned her.

"It may, but while my partner wants to be the center of attention, I believe she also has some idea of roles, appearances, and sportsmanship. There's no way around this," Ante sighed. She stopped addressing the big heel navi, stopped goading on VultureMan (any further than being scantily dressed in his view), and stopped thinking up tricks, although she continued tapping the floor to get her Metool towards its bed. "Everyone! I feel the need to apologize," she announced, closing her eyes with a frown that made her shame apparent. "We came into this battle expecting trickery and devilry from our opponents, but so far, we're the only ones who have been using any dirty tactics to try to get what we want. While I resorted to dishonorable tactics such as provocation, lies, and inhibiting others to get what I wanted-"

"Also stripping mostly naked," Teruko pointed out, causing Ante to flinch.

"Th-That was unavoidable," Ante coughed, although the others hadn't heard what her operator said. "While I resorted to such tactics, our opponents have been nothing but fair. They have not tried to inhibit our behavior. They have been... mostly... good sports, and have played it all by the books. In certain cases, they've even shown gallantry. In the mean time, I persisted with increasingly dastardly tactics that I am, in hindsight, ashamed of, even dragging my good friend, Miss Dare, along through the mud with me. There, we wrestled fruitlessly in the muck of our own devices-"

"Wait! Are you still trying to distract them? Cause that last one was pretty-" her operator pointed out, confused as to her navi's intention. Ante interrupted her in turn and continued.

"-unable to overtake our foes. All of this has proven one thing: I was in the wrong, resorting to the very underhanded tricks I initially sought to curtail. For that, I am sorry. PhoenixMan, I believe that this fight will end in failure for us, for we did not take the high road. My path was clouded and I led us astray. In the battles to come, we shall return to sportsmanship: no more tricks. No more lies. Just good, gentle, respectable behavior, as befits ladies such as ourselves. We can still obtain our ultimate victory, but we'll do it the right way," Ante finished on an ironic note, as both she and Dare were still playing off of the other team's lewd desires one way or another, even if they weren't meaning to.

Teruko clapped for a moment, then tilted her head. She wasn't sure whether decreased sexiness would be detrimental to her date with Bruce or not. It depended on whether or not the display was getting him turned on in general or if it was getting him turned on for slender, ideal-shape navis specifically.

Ante had a few regrets: she had debased herself pretty far and Dare along with her. She figured that they were so far into losing this contest, though, that nothing short of acting the highwayman and robbing the big heelnavi would win it for them. "In the end, he was the better mommy," she sighed, sounding just a little sad. "But honor should always be at the forefront of one's mind, regardless of who they may be. So if I have to choose between honor and victory... especially if victory is unattainable... then I should choose honor," she finally resolved. "I apologize again, PhoenixMan. And you too, VultureMan and company. I shouldn't have resorted to such tactics."

"... I don't think you need to apologize to VultureMan. He probably preferred this to actually running the contest," Teruko informed her navi.

"Ah... I'm a little past the ideal age for courtship, so... I was just doing what I could, in that regard. I mean, I'm still... intending to be active in that arena, you know... but I doubt he's really interested one way or the other, he's simply easy to please. Seeing an older woman such as myself in garments like these is really more of an embarrassment than it is a lewd pleasure. VultureMan, I must doubly apologize; it seems our operator here as the unfortunate impression that you were gazing at me out of some sort of sexual intent, rather than to demean me. I know that must be even more embarrassing for us both and I have really been terrible to you, acting in such a suggestive manner that you must certainly find tasteless. I'm certain you were laughing at me this whole time, thinking that it was ridiculous that I'd try to lure you in with sexual conduct... I hold no illusions about matters such as my figure. We're adults here and it's fine to admit that I've slacked in physical fitness, instead devoting that time to my practice of societal arts. I don't have the ideal body that one might wish to see in such garments, homely though they be-"

"Uuuugh, stop! You're not old-looking, you're not out-of-shape looking, and you're not homely looking! Who are you trying to kid, talking like that when you're doing your sexy crawling around on the ground, dressed in your sexy red frilly underwear?!" Teruko complained, bringing her face very close to the PET and failing to watch her volume.

"W-What? These clothes weren't meant to be provocative at all, not in that way! These are just my regular undergarments! I happen to like the color red, th-that's all!" Ante responded, waving her hands and blushing. "I'm actually quite a modest dresser-!"



As Ante was talking about her modest garments, the garter at her thigh broke apart, then her bra quickly fell into pieces, turning into a small number of chips and clattering to the ground. Her breasts were now mostly exposed, covered by a large, red, heart shaped sticker over each. The stickers had a sort of wrapping paper sheen to them, offered no support, and the only saving grace was that they managed to hide the texture of what was underneath better than other types of pasties might. The princess' face turned as red as her underwear once she realized that, while crawling, her cups were now hanging with no support at all; her bare back was still towards VultureMan, to whom it must look as though she was wearing nothing at all on her top. "A-A-Ah! I didn't choose to wear these! They came with that glitch program, the same one that makes me gray, honest! These aren't my preference! I-I'm not trying to play dirty any more, I swear! My bra came off on its own!" she told everyone, looking from face to face to make sure that nobody thought this was another attempted distraction.

"Oh dear," the Black Queen sighed internally, as was becoming a running theme. "You're cute when you're embarrassed, though..." she whispered.

"I-I'm not trying to be cute!" Ante sobbed, barely able to keep up the tapping for the Metool, who must be wondering why its mommy was becoming hysterical.

"W-what a gentleman," Dare told the HeelNavi as he helped her back towards her line. In reality, Dare's mind was still stuck on his decidedly less than gentlemanly actions moments earlier, preventing her from giving any more than a terse reply. Stripped of her Navisuit, the digital leather of her jacket was the only thing that had kept her adversary from getting a handful of her. She had time to reflect that it was the most intimate situation she'd been in on the Net, and tried to remember if she'd let out a gasp when she'd been grabbed. Had she? That would have been pretty uncool...

Still, she thought it had been pretty cool that her hand hadn't shot out and caught her would-be savior across his purple-helmeted mug right there. That said, it didn't seem to have put them any closer to winning. The giant HeelNavi appeared to be 3 for 3 in intelligence, incorruptibility, and general momminess. Dare reflected with a wry smile what that last point might mean regarding her own eligibility for future relationships.

While she was caught up staring into the kaleidoscope of her own problems, it seemed Ante had begun some sort of address to all collected. "Is this another attempt at distraction?" Dare wondered. It was a pretty bold move for Ante to ask everyone to stop what they were doing in the middle of a competition and pay attention to her speech, when she wasn't obviously laying it in thick in an attempt to garner wandering minds... well, not much, anyway.

Since she was being helped along at a ginger pace, Dare actually had a chance to listen and possibly have Ante's words hit their mark. Rather than another attempt at grabbing everyone's attention, Ante's words seemed to be a waving of the white flag. Dare's knee-jerk reaction to this was annoyance, to wonder whether Ante's shouting of a plan across the room wasn't a diversionary tactic but simply poor planning... luckily, however, her need to keep a cool facade in her current situation allowed her to withhold her judgment.

As Dare continued to listen, she began to feel she may have been the one in the wrong. "Sure, winning is what matters for me, but part of the understanding of every Navi's capacity to be a winner is understanding winning means different things to different people... Maybe I was so focused on the contest that I allowed myself to conveniently misinterpret Ante's intentions." Dare frowned, beginning to feel she may have been a real jack*ss. "What if Ante was so focused on winning the contest by any means for my sake, she was pushing herself into situations that went against her own set of values? With PhoenixMan being such a straight arrow type, it's beginning to seem like I was the most uncool one on our team..."

"That Ante's a pretty good girl, you know?" Bruce commented, resting his hand on his chin. "It takes a lot of guts to admit when you're wrong. Although, she's totally off-base with the whole 'look how old, gross, and out of shape I am' routine."

"Yeah," Dare agreed, having stopped listening to what she had interpreted as rambling in the later part of Ante's speech. "She's an upstanding type and a real hot tamale with a serious image problem." Left to her own devices, though, Dare had begun to notice something odd... Ante was going on and on talking about how they were admitting defeat, but wasn't she still tapping the ground getting her Mettaur to move to the finish line? "Is this another fake out...?!"

Before Dare could continue plumbing into the true nature of Ante any further, the Navi in question's glitch deigned to make a few revelations of its own. Dare completely lost her train of thought, seeing her friend scramble to preserve her dignity and dissolve into a torrent of squealing embarrassment. "Wait... so hold up a sec. She isn't doing that voluntarily?" Dare said aloud. "She has a glitch that makes her strip?"

"Oh, oh yeah," Bruce said, seeming very focused on his PET screen now. "Yeah, I knew about it."

"Why didn't you tell me?! I thought she was doing that as part of her strategy! I wouldn't have-" Dare began, before clenching her teeth and cutting herself short. It might not be a good idea to get too specific on the details of her strategy with her knight-in-shining-armor still right beside her.

"You never asked," Bruce said simply, still watching with interest.

"Okay, well, show's over," she told Bruce, prying the vision of his viewscreen from Ante's dismay to the face of the HeelNavi beside her by turning her head. "Look, I appreciate the help. I guess Ante's right and maybe we're not going to win this, but I've still gotta try. If something happened that gave us a shot and I lost because I stopped running the race, it'd be a big egg on my face. All right? You can get back to doing your thing or sit around and enjoy the show like ol' Buzzard Brains."

With that, Dare released herself from her HeelNavi helper and began moving her way over towards her food bowl. She realized she seemed to have gotten her Mettaur moving, although the "how" was still unknown. Was it concerned for her after seeing her accident? Was it more interested in her now that it had seen her cuddling with other people? Reasoning aside, Dare stood over by her bowl and crouched, ready to help her virus to it if he made it.

Ante's apology simply made VultureMan grin, as he entirely ceased to stop staring even in her more noble moment. "Like we needed to play dirty! Told you we were about to make our comeback!" As she directly addressed him, he simply started to laugh...probably for Ante sounding like she thought he wasn't staring at her for unlustful reasons. It only got louder as her bra was removed, making one wonder how he was even capable of flight at that point. He never stopped staring, though. That was one dedicated Navi.

============================

"Don't worry about it, Ante. It was underhanded, true, but you didn't flat out violate any rules. You have nothing to be truly ashamed of." PhoenixMan probably shouldn't have said that last part, as the person he was addressing lost about 98% of what she'd been wearing above the waist. "...Uh..." ...Going over to her would probably just compound her embarrassment, so as much as he disliked doing nothing about it, he looked away, and resumed leading his Mettaur. But not for long; suddenly, his virus ghost vanished. But why?

============================

The giant HeelNavi sat down, and started scratching the side of his Mettaur. It seemed to like it quite a bit, stretching as it enjoyed it. "THAT'S RIGHT, JUST RELAX..." It wasn't too much longer before some faint snoring could be heard. The event was over. He didn't make any sounds or motions to signify this, instead continuing to quietly sit with the virus ghost, even as it disappeared. If he'd heard Ante's apology or subsequent antics, he didn't show any signs of it.

============================

After freeing herself from the HeelNavi, Dare watched as her Mettaur wandered over towards her. As it approached the food dish, however, it vanished.

============================

Ante, despite taking further 'losses', managed to get her Mettaur to the bed. It inspected it for a moment, then, seeing the other of its kind happily snuggled in, started to hop in...but it never would, as it disappeared before it could land.

============================

"Well...if you're sure." The HeelNavi let Dare be on her way, but, seeing his teammate so far along, he decided to do as she suggested, and sat down and enjoyed the show. His Mettaur disappeared soon after, but he didn't seem to notice, being a bit...preoccupied.

============================

"The event is over! Lane 3's Mettaur has successfully fallen asleep. The winner of this event...PET Carrion!" With the results in, ShamanMan sent the Mettaur ghosts on their way with a wave of his arm, regardless of what they were doing. The 0 next to the opposition's score became a 1, meaning that at the very least, they weren't going to skunk them.

FINAL PLACING:
Lane 3: Giant HeelNavi - Mettaur fell asleep
Lane 5: Ante - Mettaur was about to hop into the bed
Lane 2: PhoenixMan - Mettaur was about halfway back
Lane 6: HeelNavi - Mettaur was slightly less than halfway back
Lane 4: Dare - Mettaur was at food dish
Lane 1: VultureMan - He had a Mettaur?

"Hmph! Laugh all you want. I've made my peace!" Ante retorted to VultureMan, thinking he was mocking her for having ever believed that he was interested in what she was selling. "I've more than ample skills left to-!" Her words were cut off short when her Metool disappeared mid tuck-in, leaving her disappointingly placing a blanket over nothing. She bit her lip and frowned, barely avoiding cursing the air. She wasn't sore over losing any more, but she'd have at least liked the satisfaction of knowing she put her Metool to bed. "... More than ample skills left to win the next challenge, regardless of my desire to conduct myself as a sportswoman, my regret over this match, or any failures in my body, age, or wisdom. And you will see that!" With the contest over, she turned her attention back to PhoenixMan, dismissing her rageclaw and crossing her arms over her breasts, as she was now free to do so. "No, a true lady of honor shouldn't use loopholes or cheap tricks. She should conduct herself with dignity and walk the path of a proud victor, not one who relies on distractions or cheap tricks," she admitted again, looking very exposed with her serious expression and wearing only her frilled panties and the meager top coverings that were hidden behind her arms.

"Well, we lost the battle, but not the war! That's why I always play best three out of five when I can. There's always another chance to win!" Teruko reminded her navi, still managing to pump herself up.

"Depending on your position, that could just mean prolonging your defeat," Ante replied, lowering her eyebrows into a characteristic horizontal set. She made her way over to Dare, wanting to give her a help up or otherwise give her a comforting hand on the shoulder, but not wanting to move her arms. "Thank you for trying so hard in this competition, Dare. I think I've learned a little something and I appreciate the fact that you'd shed your own garments to try to make me feel a little less uncomfortable with my own situation. I must say, it was an effective distraction and may have even boosted my morale a bit," she addressed her friend with a shy smile. In reality, it hadn't made her feel much better about her own predicament, but she figured it could only improve Dare's mood if she said that it had. "We'll get them on whatever our next challenge is, don't you worry."

Dare sighed as her Mettaur disappeared. It wasn't a surprise, of course, but it certainly was an anticlimax for her. "To think, all that work and no upset, no fanfare... Oh, well." She imagined that if she'd been about to tuck in her own Mettaur like Ante or PhoenixMan, she would have been more upset, but she had only been halfway to the finish line, after all. She rose to her feet and swung her arms for a moment before placing them behind her head.

Her ally was approaching her in an outfit that would, in most cases, indicate that Dare was about to get a lapdance, but in this case just meant she was about to get a pep talk. "Hey, you don't have to thank me for trying hard in a competition. It's in my programming, you know? I just wish I'd been able to contribute anything to this one... And hey, I wasn't 'shedding my garments' to make you feel better about yourself! You straight-up told me to as part of your strategy! But hey, if all I have to do is take my pants off and shake my tail to get you motivated, I'll remember that for the future," the Navi added with a chuckle and a grin.

"Aaanyways... as much fun as it has been getting naked with you, I'm going to make myself decent again." Dare bent down to reach for the Navisuit she had been dragging around, the feet still tucked into her boots and the fabric still draped over her boot pipes. She pretty quickly realized, however, that while she'd been able to find a way to get it off, putting the suit back on without exposing herself to a major wardrobe malfunction would be nearly impossible. Thinking quickly, Dare simply removed her boots, tugged the suit off her feet, and then re-summoned her shades in a flash of fire. She snapped them back to her face and spread out her arms in a "ta-dah" gesture. "There, lookin' decent! It'd be an embarrassment if I had to keep performing in the buff!"

She planted her butt back on the ground and raised one of her long, toned legs to pull her boots back on. "Yeah, I can keep running this, outfit or no outfit. I think it might even be a good motivator! Maybe when you think about it like that, your curse isn't so bad? No? I guess not, huh?" Dare said, grinning and shrugging. "Well, rest assured, we'll tie it up with a win in the next round. And we'll try and do it quick so your predicament doesn't become any more precarious, all right?"

Buckling up her last boot, she rose back to her feet and made her way over to PhoenixMan. "Sorry for the less than inspiring performance in Mettaur Mommy, but don't fret over it! Ante and I are still game for another competition. Hopefully you'll forgive our new dress code, but, uh... we kinda are where we are, ya know?"

Dare didn't have far to go, as after the contest ended, PhoenixMan had immediately landed and started walking to his team to regroup. "Don't worry about it. We're still in the lead, after all. As for your outfits...well, if you're fine with it, I suppose I have no reason to object." He shrugged, then turned over to his arch-nemesis. "Looks like we're all eager to put that one behind us...shall we determine the next event?"

"Ha! As soon as we win one, you want to move on...typical!" VultureMan flew over to the machine, and looked around at everyone. "Everyone okay with just heading to the next one?" A bunch of nods and 'yep's confirmed it, so... "Fine, let's keep this roll going! Next!" He slammed his hand on the button, causing the next event to be revealed...

"OONIBjdgangas"

...Huh?

"...What the?! What's this gibberish doing on my beautiful machine's screen?!"

"Yeah, that doesn't look like any event's name..."

"Meh, must be a bug. Let's try again!" And the event would be...

"PIJGONAEnodngagangasgaogofSAGGANWABGEAGandkagasbwGOSUBSGduganbsgasgpoasgibw4"

The dark bird Navi tapped his foot impatiently as he brought up a screen in front of him, and started typing on it. "This makes no sense...why is it...ugh!" The screen was dismissed, and he turned back to everyone. "Well, we have...a problem. My lovely machine's programming is completely fried, and I have absolutely no idea why. But without that, we can't continue, and it's going to take a long time to fix. I'd say at least 10 hours."

"Hold up!" Lite suddenly floated over from the judging area to look at the machine. "Why can't we just continue without your little machine? We can count, and we can just draw events from a hat..."

"Nope. Not happening. I'm not continuing without my beautiful machine!"

"Sigh...he's hopeless when he's set his mind like that." Ante and Dare were probably the only Navis that actually heard the remark, and yet it almost felt like everyone nodded at the same time...even the HeelNavis. "All right, I guess the rest of this competition is going to be postponed until a later time. Thanks to everyone for coming, and we'll let you know when we'll be able to finish this."

"A most disappointing end to the festivities...but it seems it cannot be helped. I shall await the day where we may all reunite to complete this contest. Until then, farewell!" And ShamanMan left.

"And right as things were starting to get a little interesting...figures. Well, whatever. I suppose I'm game to finish this, if I'm not busy." Syki warped away.

"Well, this is a bummer...but you know I'll be up for finishing this some other time! Just let me know, okay? Later!" Lite went somewhere else.

"What a time for the boss's machine to go on the fritz...just my luck. And my operator told me to come straight back when we were done, too, so I can't even stay. Meh..." The HeelNavi jacked out.

"IT'S TOO BAD ABOUT THE MACHINE...BUT AT LEAST I GOT TO END ON A HIGH NOTE! CAN'T WAIT UNTIL WE CAN FINISH THIS! BUT SINCE WE'RE DONE, THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO DO...TAKE CARE, GUYS!" GIANT HEELNAVI WALKED OFF.

Instead of leaving, VultureMan appeared to immediately get to work on fixing his beloved invention. PhoenixMan shook his head, and focused on his teammates. "Sorry for the abrupt ending. Would you two be up for returning and finishing this once we can get everyone back? Don't worry, you saw this to its conclusion, so in the meantime, it's a mission cleared for the two of you. I don't have the rewards on me, but I'll make sure they're both ready by the time you report it back to the GNA."

Well, it definitely looked like things were done. For now, anyway.

Hearing Dare's response, Ante smiled in a gentle way that was both friendly and patronizing at the same time. "No, I don't recall telling you that you needed to undress... We were all in a rush then, so perhaps there was some miscommunication," the princess navi chuckled, clearly trying to delude both herself and her friend into thinking that she'd never asked Dare to take her pants off. "It's best if we just put it behind us."

Teruko couldn't help but shake her head in disbelief as PhoenixMan interacted with two half-naked female navis. She leaned over to Bruce and whispered so that no one else would hear her. "That guy's stone cold! He doesn't seem to give a hoot one way or another what they wear. Just between you and me, I've never seen Ante this naked before... it's a little distracting, even for me!" she spoke quietly while covering the side of her mouth with one hand. She watched the screen again a moment, blinked discretely (it was hard to tell when she was blinking), then whispered to Bruce again. "What's owooneebuhjadgangas?" she repeated after the machine. When the machine tried again, she opened her mouth briefly, raised one finger, then lowered it again and shut her lips. "I'm not going to try to pronounce that one..."

Her navi stared blankly at the menagerie of judges and participants, who were discussing what to do with the machine on the fritz. It seemed easy enough to Ante for them to progress regardless, but VultureMan was having none of it. She felt simultaneously deflated at the lack of climax and relieved that she was going to get a chance to take a little time off for her clothes to put themselves back on. "Well, no getting around it... If he won't agree to finish out the contest now, we'll simply have to come back later and finish it," she agreed, figuring it worked to her advantage to play along with the childishly pouty VultureMan for now. "Yes, for my part, I'll be happy to return and assist you in wrapping up our victory. I also thank you for the SP base... it will be especially handy, given my current situation."

"You're thinking of a GMO!" Teruko pitched in, laughing at her navi. "An SP base is like that thing you use to make a pet or a companion, usually. Or I've heard of making like... a car, or armor."

"My clothes will handle themselves," Ante sighed. "I made up my mind to bear this curse with dignity until the original offender is brought to justice, remember." Her panicking and covering herself hardly seemed like bearing the curse with dignity, but there again was just another instance of her selective memory helping her out. "I was more so referring to the fact that we may be able to use the SP base to give my companion her body back, although its strength certainly won't be like in the olden days. I'm sure the Black Queen is tired of inhabiting the unseen realm inside my head."

"... On the contrary, I really enjoy being able to hear your inner thoughts, Red Queen. I've really become quite accustomed to it. I also like being able to converse with you whenever I want! I think it would be fine for both of us if I just stayed where I am," the shadow murmured, peaking out from behind Ante's back with a thin smile.

The princess clapped her hands together and gave another pleasant smile. "It's settled! We'll use the SP base to give you your own body back," she confirmed regardless of the Black Queen's preference. Ante clearly wasn't enjoying having to share all of her innermost thoughts with her gossipy friend. "Thank you again, PhoenixMan. We'll return in due time," she agreed, attempting to give a curtsy for just a moment before realizing that 1) she had no skirt to do it with and 2) it left her barely covered breasts exposed. She blushed, crossed her arms again, and gave a simple bow. "Dare, we'll meet again soon as well." With that, a tower of poker chips descended with a rhythmic click click click and transported her off the net.

((Jacking out))

The daredevil Navi started to raise a finger and object to Ante's selective memory, but shifted her attention as she saw VultureMan was announcing the next event. "All right," Dare said, clapping her hands together and rubbing them as she saw the name flash on-screen. "Let's get rolling on Oonijangas!"

Bruce had been trying to listen to Dare and Teruko at once, while still having a bit of his focus on Ante, but finally addressed his Navi. "Hold up, I think you missed some syllables in there," Bruce responded, scratching the light stubble on his chin. "There's definitely a 'B' in there somewhere."

Dare was on her way to telling him the 'B' and 'D' were silent before it became apparent the machine was glitching up somehow. She wasn't going to venture a guess on how their second potential contest was supposed to be pronounced. That aside, she had heard something far more alarming than the simple fact that VultureMan's precious gadget-baby was burping up. "The heck? 10 hours?! And we seriously can't continue until he's done repairing it... Rrgh! I can't deal with letting this go on low momentum...!"

"Well, we haven't got much choice," Bruce told the Navi, who was now in the process of tearing at her frizzy hair. "I mean, no way Teruko and I are gonna be here 10 more hours, even if you did want to wait around."

"Shoot," Dare replied, crossing her arms. "Uh, I feel bad about taking your money and running with the contest only part way through, but regardless of the rewards, you can bet we'll be back to finish this! I won't be able to sleep, knowing that this contest's still up in the air. PhoenixMan, Ante, I'll be seeing you two again real soon." With that, Dare raised a hand in a goodbye gesture and then peeled out, her flame roaring as she pulled off the Net and back to her PET.