Ducked Tape?

Amidst a handful of NormalNavis and HeelNavis carrying lighting and camera equipment, the larger, more intimidating ShamanMan warped in, and took a look around. Oddly, instead of simply moving his head around like a regular Navi, he shifted his entire body left and right to get a view of his surroundings. Even then, he showed no other signs of movement, almost as if he was atop a lazy susan instead of turning around himself. "I see everyone else is here. Excellent!

"Oh, hi, ShamanMan!" A HeelNavi carrying a heavy looking TV camera apporached the mystical Navi. "Got the camera all set! Everyone else is just about ready, too. So, just give the word, and we'll head out! ...Uh, you're handling any fighting, right?"

"Of course. We now have a new trick up our sleeves, and that should ensure that nothing unthinkable occurs."

"All right, good! Now I'll be able to focus on getting great shots!"

"Indeed! Places, everyone! Let us go ahead and get started!" It only took a matter of seconds for this to occur, which would definitely give a bystander the notion that they were well trained. "I see everything's in working order...very well! Three, two, one..."

"Welcome, friends! I am ShamanMan, your guide to the fauna of the Internet! Today, we will be doing something different from usual. For you see, today, we will be encountering dangerous viruses face to face! And if we're lucky, you may get to witness something special in the process!" The Navi finally showed that he was capable of some movement, raising his arms as he spoke, to show excitement via something besides his voice. "Let us not delay. We shall begin our search right here in the cyberworld of ACDC Town!" And so, the host Navi proceeded to move into the Net...somehow. It was clear he wasn't floating, but the utter lack of lower body movement seemed to imply he wasn't walking, either...

(Ready for Battle #1)

ShamanMan and Co. eventually come upon a section of the net that shows signs of damage. This damage came in the form of many many cracked panels, and even some broken ones. There were so many damaged or destroyed panels, it would have been easy to write it off as the product of Geddon use. And yet there were some panels that seemed to have been purposefully left alone amid the destruction, ruling Geddon out.

The source of the damage was not only immediately evident, it was still present and hard at work vandalizing more panels. Metools; three of them, and all were still chipping away at the Net with their mattocks for reasons known only to them. If they sensed the film crew's approach, they gave no sign of it. The scattered Viruses continued hacking away without pause.

What would ShamanMan do in this situation?

--The Mets-- (Just doing their thing?)
Metool A: 40 HP (On Cracked panels)
Metool B: 40 HP (On Cracked panels)
Metool C: 40 HP (On Cracked panels)

--The Crew-- (Behind ShamanMan a ways. All on Normal)
Normal Navi A: 100 HP
Normal Navi B: 100 HP
Normal Navi C: 100 HP
Heel Navi: 150 HP

--The Navi--
ShamanMan.EXE: 150 HP (On Normal, at the edge of a swath of Cracked terrain)

--The Set-- (With The Crew.)
Camera: 50 HP
Lights A: 50 HP
Lights B: 50 HP
Boom Mic: 50 HP

--The Place--
Normal: 40%
Cracked: 45%
Broken: 15%

"Ah, Mettaur. They are, undoubtedly, the most common and well-known of all viruses." ShamanMan promptly turned toward the camera, sensing a prime chance for explaining things to his viewers. "As you can see, they wield pickaxes, which they use for a variety of purposes. In battle, they use them to create energy shock waves on the ground, and there have also been reports of Mettaur throwing them in order to hit aerial enemies. This is actually behavior that has developed over time, and originally they were unable to do it. In fact, much of the reason they are so common is because they are capable of adapting to nearly any environment, and sightings have been recorded in every area of the Net."

"With all that said, it's rare to come this close to them without being attacked. We're incredibly fortunate to witness them in action!"

One of the lighting Navis waved at the host, trying to get his attention. "Hey, ShamanMan? Is it a good idea to let them just do that?"

"Ah, an excellent question. Did the mike catch that? It did? Excellent! While it can be annoying if they perform such acts in electronic devices, we're in an outlying section of ACDC Area. After some time, the Broken panels will regenerate, so there is no long-term damage. That said, in large numbers, they are capable of disrupting Net traffic, so they cannot be left alone." ...Hmm. If they were being calm after all this, perhaps they were among the viruses he was looking for? "...Ahem, Mettaur trio! If you understand me, please listen! I can promise you a life where you can live a life of peace, without fear of battles! The one downside is that you will never be able to fight again, yourselves...but you will be able to pick and pick to your hearts' content! Would you be interested?" Yep, it wasn't everyday someone attempted to negotiate with viruses on TV, albeit not live. Question is, was his suspicion correct, or did he make a potentially painful error in judgment...?

The scattered trio of Metools froze immediately when ShamanMan addressed them, as if someone had pressed pause. They then turned slowly to look in the Navi's direction, their mattocks somehow still held in whatever position they'd been in when the Mets halted. The trio lowered their mattocks and returned them to whatever 4th dimensional storage space they kept the things in.

The closest Metool then began to approach the funny looking Navi. As it drew closer, something seemed off about the Metool's marking color, which looked sorta blue instead of green. Too, it crossed several cracked panels, and even hopped over a broken one, but never broke a single panel with its passage. However, it abruptly stopped several panels shy of ShamanMan with a wide-eyed look. It suddenly dove under its helmet. The other two Mets followed suit barely a second later.

And that's when trouble crashed the party, as one of the lighting crew Normal Navis had their legs snatched out from under them by the pull of a pickaxe, face planted with a surprised cry, and was unceremoniously dragged backwards by... A Metool? Yes, the Metool had slipped the mattock in place, turned it sideways, and yanked as hard as it could. It was now, literally, running away with the lighting expert in-tow.

"MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" shouted another Metool a it lept up from behind another Crew member, landed atop their head, and nailed one of the lighting stands with a thrown mattock. The Met then hid under... or in?... its helmet while still atop the Navi's head, dropping the oversized helmet down over the Navis face, blinding them.

The light stand fell over with a crash, startling the rest of the Crew. One took a step backwards, and tripped over a third Metool. The Navi landed atop the Metool with a grunt. He was about to pick himself back up when this particular Met proceeded to clobber the Navi upside the head with the flat of its mattock, knocking the Navi unconscious for the moment.

Despite the ambush, the HeelNavi, pro as he was, was getting it all on camera.


--The Enemy--
Metool A: 40 HP (On Normal, currently dragging Normal Navi A away with a pickax)
Metool B: 40 HP (Guarding atop Normal Navi B's head.)
Metool C: 40 HP (Hiding under Normal Navi C)

--The Mets--
Unusual Metool A: 40 HP (On Cracked panels) (Guarding)
Unusual Metool B: 40 HP (On Cracked panels) (Guarding)
Unusual Metool C: 40 HP (On Cracked panels) (Guarding)

--The Crew-- (Behind ShamanMan a ways. All on Normal)
Normal Navi A: 90 HP (Being dragged away by a Metool....)
Normal Navi B: 100 HP (Blinded by helMet.)
Normal Navi C: 90 HP (Laying atop MetoolC, Unconscious.)
Heel Navi: 150 HP (W.T.F.? But getting it on tape.)

--The Navi--
ShamanMan.EXE: 150 HP (On Normal, at the edge of a swath of Cracked terrain)

--The Set-- (With The Crew, sorta...)
Camera: 50 HP
Lights A: 40 HP (Knocked over.)
Lights B: 50 HP
Boom Mic: 50 HP

--The Place--
Normal: 40%
Cracked: 45%
Broken: 15%

-- BATTLE 1, BEGIN !! --

Ah, they were lowering their pickaxes. That was a good sign. He allowed the one Mettaur to draw near, having no intentions of harming it so long as it did the same. But then...it stopped and hid. Standard Mettaur procedure, perhaps, as the others did the same.

"Uh, ShamanMan? You miiiight wanna turn around..."

The host Navi turned around, only to see chaos erupt before him. "What...? It appears we let our guards down a bit too much while filming..."

"Um, yeah, but this footage is gonna be awesome! 'When Mettaurs Attack' will make an awesome prime time special!"

"...Horatio. Are you seeing this?"

"Indeed. Quite the pickle you're in, hmm?"

"I shall fight the three that are wreaking this havoc. The other three, I believe, should be left alone."

"I wholeheartedly agree. So, what shall we do? Use that powerful chip we got the other day to really sort them out?"

"...No, that could endanger our comrades. Let us use something simpler, less likely to harm the Navis, and more likely to harm the dastardly Mettaur trio."

"Yes, I see your point...very well, do your thing!"

"It shall be done." At this point, ShamanMan became less coherent, as he began speaking what most would think was gibberish, though it was in fact an ancient Netfrican dialect. "...Come forth from the world beyond...Teddy!"

Sure enough, a translucent Teddy formed a few feet in front of the Navi. It looked around for a moment, apparently not used to interdimensional travel. It then looked straight at the mystical Navi, though it appeared to have no intention of clawing at him. In fact, it didn't even seem to want to slash him. It had an aura of calmness not often seen among viruses...

"O, virus of no malice! Strike true at the sinister Mettaur, beginning with that one!" His arm pointed at the virus dragging a NormalNavi off, making it abundantly clear which he referred to, though this was probably less because he thought the Teddy was a moron, and more because he had little other way to specify. The bear virus immediately responded, and ran over, utilizing its superior speed to catch up to the fully alive virus (though a Mettaur lugging around a full sized Navi wasn't exactly speedy). With a snarl, it took on a much angrier appearance, and powerfully swiped at the helmeted virus, leaving tiny trails where its claws had rended the air.

Of course, there were still others to attack, and the ghostly Teddy was more than happy to try and get others to join it in the next world. Still maintaining its furious look, it raced over to the NormalNavi still standing, whose vision was completely blocked by another malevolent Mettaur. Deciding that it would be its next target, the clawed viral data quickly climbed up the Navi, standing atop its shoulders, and grabbed the more alive virus. With that, it attempted to pull the foe right off of the Navi's head, and with a single backwards flip, attempted to piledrive the Mettaur right into the ground as it spun horizontally. It then tried to stick its claws in the virus, deriving some enjoyment from the potential rending. Standing up, it reared back, and roared at the counterhavoc it had wrought.

Unlike the Teddy, however, ShamanMan knew that the battle was not won by any means. Not wanting anyone to be harmed by the untargeted virus, he pointed his arms towards it, and created a strange, blue fire, that immediately floated over to the pickaxe wielding menace. Though it could not harm it, the technique would leave it weakened, and unable to bring pain to anyone...

[Order of Turn:
1-RageClaw1 chip attack on MetoolA (40, B, Slashing)
2-RageClaw1 chip attack on MetoolB (20, B, Impact) (Target: The ground)
3-RageClaw1 chip attack on MetoolB (40, B, Slashing)
3a-Debuff subtype ability on MetoolC (10) (Source: Buff)]

ShamanMan (I am going to screw up typing that at some point...) does his best job of an Annie impression, summoning a giant raging bear. Needs more fire. It immediately lunges at the three metools and tears the one dragging the first NormalNavi away to pieces before it can react, then climbs up the second member of ShamanMan's crew and grabs it, hurtling it helmet-first to the ground.

The impact, luckily, is enough to damage the virus; but it bounces unexpectedly, flipping out of the way of the bear's second attack-- and throwing its' pickax at it?! The tiny metal instrument digs into the little bear and sticks for a few moments before disappearing again. (10)

Finally, angered by the death of one comrade and the thrashing of another, the third Metool launches a shockwave through the crewmember it is hiding under, and towards ShamanMan!!!

...It doesn't do any damage. (0)

--The Enemy--
Metool A: DELETED
Metool B: 20 (A little ways off to the left, away from everything else.)
Metool C: 40 HP (Hiding under Normal Navi C)

--The Mets--
Unusual Metool A: 40 HP (On Cracked panels) (Guarding)
Unusual Metool B: 40 HP (On Cracked panels) (Guarding)
Unusual Metool C: 40 HP (On Cracked panels) (Guarding)

--The Crew-- (Behind ShamanMan a ways. All on Normal)
Normal Navi A: 90 HP (Scrambling away from the remaining Metools.)
Normal Navi B: 100 HP (A bit confused?)
Normal Navi C: 90 HP (Laying atop MetoolC, Unconscious.)
Heel Navi: 150 HP (Oh man this is better than cable! Wait, I film cable...)

--The Navi--
ShamanMan.EXE: 140 HP (On Normal, at the edge of a swath of Cracked terrain)

--The Set-- (With The Crew, sorta...)
Camera: 50 HP
Lights A: 40 HP (Knocked over.)
Lights B: 50 HP
Boom Mic: 50 HP

--The Place--
Normal: 40%
Cracked: 45%
Broken: 15%

...Hmm. Not perfect, but at least no one but him was harmed, despite shock waves going through multiple bodies. That was good. "Hmm. Seems the Teddy didn't manage to fully land its attack. Perhaps I should bring assistance."

"Everything is properly loaded, so bring whatever you wish! I'm better with the real world's lifeforms, myself..."

"I won't argue with that..." Honestly, Horatio probably hadn't even noticed that the groups of Mettaur were different, aside from one being more docile than the other. Luckily, that didn't matter...once again, ShamanMan commenced an ancient incantation, causing a space in front of him to shine with an odd light. "I summon you from the world beyond...Champy!" Once again, a translucent virus appeared, this time being the fiery fisted Champy. It looked around for a moment, then turned around to see its summoner. Unlike the Teddy, it seemed to recognize the Navi, and raised its fists as it made a happy expression. "...Ah, you must be the same spirit from my practice! It is a pleasure to see you again, but I'm afraid there's no time for pleasantries." Without another word, he pointed forward at the green striped Mettaur, confident that his conjured assistant would get the message and help out.

And having done it before, the Champy immediately knew what to do upon turning around to witness the events. Adopting a more traditional scowl, the flaming virus disappeared from its current location, only to appear before the weakened Mettaur. It reared back, and proceeded to deliver a strong punch aimed straight at the virus. Ordinarily, this would have been ho-hum, but the Teddy virus was now on the prowl again, and less than pleased that not only did a target live, but it was now being attacked by another virus spirit, which meant it couldn't seek revenge. It could, however, vent its anger, which it proceeded to do with a roar...as it headed for the harmful helmeted virus it had yet to attack.

It didn't take too long for the bear virus to reach the pickaxe wielder, who happened to have a crew member atop it. This meant that slashing was a bad idea, but that didn't stop the benevolent ghost from reaching over and trying to grab the living virus, and smack some of the living out of it by hurling it like a baseball at the other green striped Mettaur, or at least where it had occupied prior to being hit in the face by a fiery fist. Really, the Teddy didn't care enough, so long as its anger was alleviated by the toss. And regardless of the other spirit's intent, the Champy was entirely fine with having another target within its punching range. And even if said target wasn't quite in the area needed for instant punching, it wouldn't take long for it to head over, and proceed to give it a nice wallop...

And of course, just in case, ShamanMan was set to launch another debilitating magic burst at a surviving villainous Mettaur, should they still exist...

[Order of Turn:
1-FireHit1 chip attack on MetoolB (60, Fire, A, Impact)
2-RageClaw1 chip attack on MetoolC (20, B, Impact) (Target: MetoolB)
3-FireHit1 chip attack on MetoolC (60, Fire, A, Impact)
3a-Debuff subtype ability on surviving malicious Mettaur (10) (Source: Buff)]

ShamanMan's spirits lunge at the viruses; The first one attempts to dodge out of the way of the incoming Champy-fuelled punch, but is, unfortunately, too slow to escape it in time. The Champu cold-cocks the puny little virus, sending its' body hurtling towards ShamanMan's Teddy, who--

At that moment the Teddy finds itself struggling to get a grip on the Metool under the crewmember as it hunkers down under its' helmet. Add in the weight of the crewmember on top of it, and the Teddy can't quite seem to get to it-- until the flying, half-defragmented body of the first metool smacks into the navi, shattering in a million pieces, and pushing it juuuuust enough that the body slides off of the metool helmet it is supported on. So the Teddy reaches down with its' claws and--

--hurls the virus at the Champy across the way, leading it to leap at the last remaining Metool as it flies through the air, end-over end. The flaming little fireball reels back, trying to time the punch just riiiiiiiiiight!!

And punches the Metool hard enough to send the chunks of data scattering into the air like fireworks.

YEAAAAAH!

Behind ShamanMan, the three Unusual metools peek out from under their helmets, and look around. After a few moments, they come out from their helmets, mattocks at the ready, and-- two of them turn back toward the panels they were cracking before, resuming their methodical, synchronized swinging and panel-cracking...

The third stares at ShamanMan for a few moments, head... body... ...round thing tilted in curiosity.

--The Enemy--
Metool A: DELETED
Metool B: DELETED
Metool C: DELETED

--The Mets--
Unusual Metool A: 40 HP (On Cracked panels) (Looking)
Unusual Metool B: 40 HP (On Cracked panels) (Working)
Unusual Metool C: 40 HP (On Cracked panels) (Working)

--The Crew-- (Behind ShamanMan a ways. All on Normal)
Normal Navi A: 90 HP (Maybe a little impressed? Walking back towards ShamanMan.)
Normal Navi B: 100 HP (Shrug)
Normal Navi C: 90 HP (Unconscious.)
Heel Navi: 150 HP (Totally got the shot.)

--The Navi--
ShamanMan.EXE: 140 HP (On Normal, at the edge of a swath of Cracked terrain)

--The Set-- (With The Crew, sorta...)
Camera: 50 HP
Lights A: 40 HP (Knocked over.)
Lights B: 50 HP
Boom Mic: 50 HP

--The Place--
Normal: 40%
Cracked: 45%
Broken: 15%

Victory?
Rewards: Guard1, 180z

ShamanMan watched as his spirit aides managed to eliminate the rest of the dangerous Mettaur. Though it couldn't be seen by looking at him, he was actually quite relieved it was over. "It appears the threat is over...and everyone seems to be more or less fine. That's a relief." He waved his arm, causing the cash and chip data to be instantly transferred.

"Smashing job, ShamanMan!"

"Thank you, but I did very little. It's all due to the efforts of the Teddy and Champy spirits that the Mettaur were vanquished." Taking that as their cue, the ghosts turned to their summoner, responding with another roar and a fist pump, respectively. They both proceeded to vanish, perhaps never to be seen again...but who knew? Perhaps they'd meet again.

The assistant Navis, however, simply grabbed the equipment, and assumed their positions...or so they started to. One of the lighting Navis realized that the one responsible for sound was still out cold, and decided to sacrifice perfect lighting to make sure that there was at least some sound for what was to come. And sure enough, the mystical Navi approached the odd looking Mettaur whose interest remained piqued, and looked downward. He didn't attempt to lower himself, though it was unclear if that was a conscious decision, or if it was somehow physically impossible for him to do so. "Little Mettaur...my offer from before stands. Please, allow me to transfer you to the haven I told you of, where you may live your days out in peace. And if you can, convince your friends. If they do not come, I fear that their present activities would mark them for a dismal fate at the hands of another Navi, or even a more menacing virus group. I suppose I must reiterate that you will never be able to engage in combat again...but neither will you need to. You will be safe from anyone intending you malice. I beseech you, accept this proposal!"

One of the other two mets meeps at the one facing ShamanMan, and it looks back toward them. The met that called it waves its' pickaxe in a mock swing, then waves for it to come over before getting back to work. The Metool turns to look at ShamanMan, then pauses for a long while before heading back to the line of cracked terrain. It beckons ShamanMan over, then scrawls some terribly broad and wavy lines in the top of the nearest normal panel. It points at the lines repeatedly, and so ShamanMan takes a look.

It looks like... a... Metool? This thing is apparently really shitty at drawing. This metool has some kind of thing hanging off the back of its' helmet, and that's a stick it's holding, not a pickaxe! There's not even a head on it! It points between the slice of cracked terrain behind it and the tiny drawing repeatedly.

After walking over and taking a good look at the picture, ShamanMan froze for a few moments...or maybe he was just thinking. It was hard to tell with his lack of animation. "Hmm...do you have any insight, Horatio?"

"...I'm utterly baffled, to be quite honest. It looks like a Mettaur, but then why the differences?"

"Indeed, but...as odd as this may sound, the picture looks vaguely familiar to me. Have I seen something like it before...?" Well, now he had a mystery on his hands. Still, it was rather adamant about those cracked panels over there...an odd idea suddenly came to mind. The Navi walked...floated...whatever it was, he moved over to the cracked panels, and took a single 'step' on it before quickly retreating, to allow it to break. He then looked down (at least as much as he could), as though looking for something. "Hello! Is there anybody down there?"

As ShamanMan steps on a panel and breaks it, all three of the Metools instantly stop what they're doing and turn to look at him.

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" All three of them cry, hopping over the cracked terrain and swarming him. "METMETMETMET MEET MEET MET MET MET MEEEEEEET METTTT!" All of them seem to be... berating him for something? They're gesturing around the entire area with their pickaxes, anyway.

Also, inside the panel is nothing but a small ditch. It's just a hole, same as any broken panel.

A few seconds later one of the Metools wanders off and pries up a panel from nearby, then hefts it with its' pickaxe and brings it over. It slaps it down over the broken panel, then cracks it with another swing of its' pickaxe. "MET!" It shouts. The other Mets dance around for a moment, making small, cheering cries of "MET! MET! MET!".

Afterwards they glare at ShamanMan, then head back to work on cracking the panels.

"M-My apologies..." ShamanMan backed off after upsetting the Mettaur, not wanting a repeat performance of that. "It appears they're not looking for someone..."

"...Aha! I have an idea! As you know, leaders of animals often have defining characteristics. They're often battle scarred, possess larger features, that sort of thing...well, I just thought of something. That picture of another Mettaur...what if the differences are, in fact, those sorts of characteristics?"

"...Ah, that's true. It's worth asking." Better than standing around being stumped, at least. "Mettaur, I do sincerely apologize for destroying that panel. It was thoughtless of me. Now, allow me to ask something. That picture...is that of your leader?"

The little hard-hatted pickaxer bounces up and down. "Met!" it cries cheerily, then points back and forth at the picture and the increasingly-large line of cracked terrain. The other two Metools continue to work on it.

Hmm. Now he was getting somewhere. "So that was what they meant. Well done, Horatio!"

"Think nothing of it! Now, shouldn't you see where that leader is?"

"Indeed!" Now, for the million zenny question. "...Excuse me. May I, perhaps, meet with your leader? There's something I should discuss with them..." Namely, why all the cracked panels. If they kept going at this rate, there were going to be problems, not with him, but whatever those panels represented...

The Metool tilts over quizzically, seemingly thinking for a moment, then hops back and forth between feet, as if shaking its' head. "Met..."

Hmm...that was odd. They didn't seem very keen on the idea. There had to be a reason why. "Is there a reason why not? I assure you that I bear no ill will towards them, as I bear none towards you."

"Met!" the Metool meeps, waving its' pickaxe around again. It carves a line into a panel next to the picture it had drawn, then strikes it with a dot.

It repeats this for a few spots around the image, and, of course, ShamanMan instantly recognizes the symbols: Question marks.

Sigh...this was going nowhere. And as much as he wanted to help these Mettaur, he did have a show to make. Though he certainly didn't (and couldn't) show it, he was a bit sad at what he was going to do. "...I believe it best that I leave. Take care." With that, he turned around, and proceeded to head on. "Come, everyone. We're continuing. That part...may be lost to editing."

Luckily, one benefit was that the filming crew was now 100% conscious, and ready to keep going. One was actually looking a bit bored until word was given to proceed. "Phew, thought I was going to fall asleep..."

"My apologies, that took longer than expected." And with no results, either. Winning over even the kinder viruses would be no easy task, it seemed. "Let us resume. Ahem. The Mettaur ambush illustrates an excellent point about the Net. You must truly be ready for anything. Even we, trained to watch for just such an incident, were caught off guard. It is wise to tread lightly." Of course, treading lightly was no problem for ShamanMan, especially since to an outside eye, it seemed as though he had no feet at all. Then again, it was possible he really didn't..."Now, let us continue. There are more viruses in existence than mere Mettaur, and we intend to cover as many as possible!" The mystical Navi became silent, as he walked deeper in ACDC in the name of ratings...

(Searching for Battle #2)

(massive BUMP now that ShamanMan's active again)