In Pursuit of Panelgrab, Part 1

"Now kids, if you're interested in raincoats, there's a few things you ought to know! Putting on a raincoat is easy, but it might seem tricky if you try to do it yourself. All you need to know is this: do the buttons up like you normally would," Parka taught her students, using her hands to mimic buttoning up the parka. As all of the children's eyes went wide, she assumed they must be anticipating her next words. "Then pull the hood up over your head! Now your raincoat is securely fastened and-"

As if guided by wings of irony, the teacher's now severed raincoat flew off as soon as she was finished speaking, now one long, ghost-like sheet fluttering in the wind. The kids all gasped in surprise, while their teacher just stood there in the rain, trying to make sense of what had happened. Quickly, she turned around and located SharpMan, who had barely made it an arm's length away from her. "D-Dr. Watershed! There's a strange, creepy navi slinking around right there!" she exclaimed, pointing out the glinting figure.

Now derpived of her parka, the navi wore a white bodysuit with frills running from the collar to just below the center of her busom. The suit continued down her legs, forming tights, while a blue, knee-length skirt attachment covered her lower body. Her brown, wavy hair was done into a neat bun, completing her school-teacher look. Her body made it pretty obvious why people had voted on her, as did her increasingly soaked and clingy white bodysuit.

The navi armed herself with a blue umbrella, its covering made from a similar material to her formerly secure raincoat. "Kids, er, sometimes navis do attack you while you traverse the net! Heelnavis and Mafia folks! The best strategy is usually... fight them! Make sure you beat them!" she assured the kids, although she didn't look terribly certain herself. "Y-You'll get valuable zenny and chips if you can defeat strong attackers in combat!"

The kids spoke up, all trying to ask questions at once. The teacher quieted down, squinting as she tried to follow SplashMan's shape into the rain, which had started to pick up.

SplashMan hadn't really made enough of a retreat to be considered safe, by any means. She'd see him coming if he turned around and attacked her again. Alternatively, he could go ahead and get out of there by using the Key he'd been given.

Parka: Hair Ribbon, Full White Bodysuit, Full Skirt Attachment, Wet Boots, Umbrella

SharpMan: 150 HP

Terrain: 90% Normal, 10% Sea (scattered puddles)

"Hmph...how dare you lump me with those guys!" Unfortunately for Parka, SharpMan was neither a generic HeelNavi nor a member of the NetMafia. "Now, if you insist on teaching the kids a lesson, come! I suppose I can help a little!" And he would help...himself. he could care less about the kids. As would be shown by him continuing to make it less of a virus busting class, and more of an impromptu anatomy class...

The blades on his right arm suddenly became less shining, as the ones on his left arm acquired their gleam, as the Sword data exchanged sides. He then raised his duller arm, extending their edges a bit...and waited patiently as he faced the other Navi. If she took the bait, she'd try to attack...how wasn't important, only that she did. And once she tried to deliver a blow, he could simply parry the attack, and counter by rushing in for a quick slash. Of course, in this case, it would be less of a damaging cut, and more taking out that skirt.

And regardless of that, he prepared to race in, and tear apart that umbrella with his shinier blades. That'd soak her real nice. And as he knew very well, soaking wet women with nice bodies were hotter than not soaking wet women with nice bodies. It was some kind of natural law. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be able to admire the results much, as he'd promptly attempt to get as much distance between her and him as possible once his cut-fest was over...

[Order of Turn:
1-Razor Shield sig attack (1-hit shield; Slashing after shield is hit)
2-Sword chip attack on Parka's skirt (Slashing)
3-Retreat
4-Retreat]

"Excuse me, but if you come out and attack me while I'm teaching a bunch of children how to fasten a raincoat, I-I feel like I have the right to think you're a HeelNavi!" Parka restated, raising her parasol awkwardly to use it like a sword. SharpMan was anticipating such an attack; blocking the hit easily with one arm, he used the other to slice apart her parasol. Several limbs of the slender silver webbing broke, along with a good portion of the sheet; an umbrella like that was fairly useless even as an impromptu bludgeon, so she tossed it aside.

SharpMan came in for another attack, but she was prepared this time. Quickly, she raised up a large, blue sheet, which puffed out like a sail, as though air was shooting out behind it. The sheet managed to rebound her shield, defending her temporarily. The force of the impact knocked SharpMan down, causing him to fall into a puddle. He quickly retreated, putting some distance between himself and his target.

"Did you kids see my rain sheet in action? Using techniques like that, I can slowly but surely defeat my ambusher!" she assured her kids. But SharpMan was far from defeated...

Parka: Hair Ribbon, Full White Bodysuit, Full Skirt Attachment, Wet Boots (2 movements away)

SharpMan: 110 HP (Sword: 5 uses)

Terrain: 90% Normal, 10% Sea (scattered puddles)

"Ha! Some teacher, to apparently not even know what a HeelNavi is! See, children, a HeelNavi is just another name for those mass produced, mean looking purple and black Navis you sometimes see on the Net. Maybe one of you even has one for their Navi! I, however, am hardly mass produced...heh heh! Oh, and don't go and say I'm a NetMafia Navi, either. Most of the Navis there are idiots! I'd never join 'em!...Now, just stand there and accept your fate, lady. Do so, and I can guarantee your safety!" He probably should've seen her own defensive effort coming, though, so SharpMan wasn't feeling overly intelligent himself. But what he said afterward probably worked for psychological warfare, or whatever.

"Well, she's soaking wet and in a skintight leotard. That good enough?"

"...Nah. Not yet!" Once again, the bladed Navi made his way to his latest target, again trying not to step in the puddles and make it more obvious where he was. As he approached, he extended his lower left edge, raised, then lowered it semi-gently, with the sole intent of utterly destroying her skirt. After all, who wouldn't want to see what was down there? He was a bit interested, himself...it'd be a nice compliment to her being drenched above the waist.

He wasn't done, however. Instead, he retracted his blade in use, and extended the other one on the same arm. He reached with it to try and get under her ribbon, and rip it to reveal her more natural style. After all, chicks were pretty much always hotter when their hair wasn't done up like that, especially when it wasn't in a very flattering style like that. Of course, even that would be better than if he did a full-on slash and gave her an impromptu haircut...that'd be an instant mission fail, for sure. Hence his safer alternative. Plus, it put him in an oddly good position for parrying a counterattack...

[Order of Turn:
1-Get back to Parka, avoiding puddles
2-Get back to Parka, avoiding puddles
3-Sword chip attack on Parka's skirt (Slashing)
4-Sword chip attack on Parka's hair ribbon (Slashing)
4a-Swordplay subtype ability (passive dodge)]

"Accept my fate? Safety? You mean you're not trying to kill me?" she asked, looking stupefied. She apparently hadn't realized what SharpMan's real motive was. "Dr. Watershed, what should I do?!"

"I-I don't know... What's he doing?" the professor asked, hidden by the white flickering panel of his monitor. It was so unclear in the rain that his visage wasn't possible to make out.

"I don't know! He's coming back over here though!" she cried, panicking once again.

"I can't see him!" the professor growled in frustration. "I'm sending you an AquaNeedle!"

She shot off the aquaneedle, unfortunately missing him completely. "Did I hit him?" she asked hopefully, as though she hadn't just watched the needles hit the wet panels of the net and shatter against them. SharpMan took the moment to strike, sliding his blade through to cleanly sever the skirt off of her body. She turned to see him, then fired an attack like a burst of water, but he neatly dismissed it with one arm and then plucked the ribbon from her hair. The hair fell from its bun, ending up in a wet mass extending slightly beneath her shoulders. It was nice if you liked the girl-in-distress look.

More importantly, perhaps: with the skirt out of the way, SharpMan could now make out the navi's shapely hips and cute ass. The wet skinsuit clung to her, erotically semi-transparent, but just slight of revealing the naughty bits. "H-He's going for my clothes! That's why he's not attacking me directly!" she exclaimed, finally figuring it out.

"I'm jacking you out now!" Dr. Watershed cried.

"No! What kind of example are we setting for the kids if I run away from this mugger?!" she protested, stamping her feet.

"What kind of example are we setting if you fight naked in the rain...?" he sighed. "I'm jacking you out, no buts!"

Despite her opposition, she was plucked from the net, leaving SharpMan alone in the rain.

Parka: ESCAPED

SharpMan: 110 HP (Sword: 5 uses)

Terrain: 90% Normal, 10% Sea (scattered puddles)

--BATTLE OVER--

SharpMan gets: Nothing.

Ah, shoot, the Navi was gone. Oh well, he was pretty much done with her at that point. If people were watching, they got what they needed to see. He knew he did. "Not bad, not bad..."

"So, is that directed at yourself, or her?"

"Either works, doesn't it?"

"Heh, guess so! I didn't see any reason to complain from either end, myself...on a more serious note, there's no need to stick around there any longer. I'll use that data to send you back to the client now."

"Of course. There's never a need to stick around!" Plus, he had some nice mental images to admire while he was transported. "Warp me at will!" And, data activated. Now to report. They'd better get that bag of PanelGrabs ready...

(using RadioStationKey.dat)

The key instantly warped SharpMan back to the objective point: namely, Radio's station. His employer was right where he'd left her, leaning against the radio dish. "I don't know what you did, but poll reaction seems hot. Good job," she congratulated him. "Have you heard of positive reinforcement experiments, involving rats and food pellets? Well, nevermind. Enjoy your first PanelGrab."

Hector found that the PanelGrab was quickly transferred to his PET.

((Get: PanelGrab!))

"Why stop there, right? You want some PanelGrabs to give away as party favors or gifts to distant relatives, right?" she cooed, giving a sly smile. "Let's reveal your next target. This one's going to be tougher, so it's up to you whether or not you choose to accept. Next targets are part of a girl band, called Lit Fusion."

The host brought up an image on one of the large monitors nearby, showing four girls, dressed in eccentric clothing and playing on stage. "I'd say more about them, but you'll definitely know them when you see them. For this mission, I've got a little present to help you out," Radio explained, transferring SharpMan new data.

((Get: AirportSecurity.GMO))

"I'll take it back when we're finished," she laughed. "The coordinates I give you will put you in an airport, where the girls are hitting a flight. I know, sounds weird, right? Why do navis need airplanes and airports? There's something about the experience that people like, though; who am I to argue with what the people want?" she shrugged, smiling helplessly. "I can't tell you exactly what position you'll find yourself in there, but I think that the costume might give you an advantage. Head on out whenever you're ready."

((Get: Coordinates in Netopia Net))

((Topic opening soon))

All right, PanelGrab, er, grabbed. Now came the big question: he had his reward. Should he bail and call it good? Or should he keep going? ...Eh, he should at least hear her out before deciding. SharpMan quietly listened to the rest, frowning as he received the GMO data. It wasn't so much that he was above doing it, as it was the fact that he only performed tasks in one outfit: his own. Plus, that band name...Lit Fusion. Why did that sound familiar? "...Hey, Hector. Ever heard of that band before?"

"...No, it's new to me. I don't exactly follow groups like that."

"...Hmm...ahh! Now I remember! Dawn listens to them!"

"...Really?"

"Yeah. She really likes their music, even though to me it's like scraping my blades on glass terrain..."

"...Ha! Bwa ha ha ha!" It wasn't often that the Whazzapian man burst into laughter, but this new information was just a little too much. "I can't believe it...my straight arrow twin sister listens to girl bands! Unreal! Ha ha ha!"

"Yes, it's hilarious, I agree! But...that gives me an odd conflict of interest. If a band your sister liked was suddenly attacked by a mysterious Navi that specializes in swords, she'd get suspicious about us. And she's JUST vengeful enough to make things a real pain!"

"That's very, very true. I think we'll have to decline."

"I thought as much." The sharp edged Navi transferred Radio's second gift back to her, which essentially locked in his response. "My apologies, but going after that band would present some...odd problems for us. You'll need to either give me a different target, or give me your leave."

"An odd problem? SharpMan, my ability to cover your tracks is greater than you might be giving me credit for," Radio replied, looking skeptical. "I guess maybe I overestimated your abilities. The polls are our guide; they are the voice of the people. As such, the polls are final. I can't assign you another target," she sighed, leaning her side against the radio dish again, and sticking her opposite hand into her skirt pocket.

"I'll get someone else to help me finish," she finished, turning her head to look at new text incoming from the "dream master." "Return the .GMO and you're free to leave."

((AirportSecurity.GMO lost!))

((Coordinates lost!))

"And you underestimate my operator's sister!" Well, no point arguing about it now, anyway...wait, she did NOT just say what it sounded like. He angrily slashed the air, and pointed his blades at Radio. "I'm going to tell you this once, and ONLY once. My skills are unparalleled...but I can only work with the tools given to me. And right now, my options are but a small fraction of my potential. At the peak of my ability, if I wanted to kill you, you'd already be dead by now. That you even acquired the services of the likes of me should be viewed as a miracle!-"

"Remember what I said about being nice to the client? Yeah, that still applies. Now shut up and say goodbye."

"Oh, I'd love to say goodbye..." Again, SharpMan tore at the empty space in front of him, leaving a blurry silver trail of energy. "But in deference to my operator, I'll simply say farewell. I advise you not to make any enemies before we meet again, chica. And with that, he exited the Net in a beam of light...

(JACKING OUT)