Lunch Money Shakedown

PaperMan's Guard was torn to pieces as it reflected the Cacty's rolling headbutt, leaving the origami Navi to take the full brunt of the Beetank's bomb attack. The force from the blast crushed his chest inwards, sounding like a piece of paper being crumpled into a ball, but in true cartoon fashion, all PaperMan had to do was puff his damaged chest outwards to expand it back into its normal form.

Seeing the Navi recover from the injury made Shiri giggle, as it did indeed remind her of the cartoons she watched every Saturday morning. Turner had to cover his eyes with his hand, unable to watch not out of repulsion but sheer embarrassment. It was so silly he just couldn't stand it. "Just take this and wrap things up..." grumbled Turner as he inserted a RageClaw into his PET.

PaperMan gave a thumbs-up to the human pair as that very thumb transformed into a sharp claw as the rest of his hand assumed the Battlechip's paper-built form. Armed and ready, PaperMan began his march on the bridge... only to feel the ground underneath him shift unstably. The weakened Cracked terrain started slipping under even PaperMan's insignificant mass, causing the featherweight Navi to fall flat on his face. After getting past the public shame of the matter, PaperMan decided he wasn't going to be getting anywhere like this. While still flat on the unstable terrain, PaperMan sent his elemental power outward, sprouting hundreds of shreds of paper from the ground that quickly turned the green color of grass. When the earth reassembled itself into the healthy plant life, PaperMan was able to stand up and hurry forward across the bridge.

Having entered into enemy territory, PaperMan had to keep his senses sharp and his claws sharper. "Watch out, PaperMan!" shouted Shiri all of a sudden. PaperMan leaped in surprise at the outburst just before noticing that he was nearing the Cacty that had hit his Guard earlier. Since he hasn't even noticed the virus until Shiri pointed it out (he had been looking the other way the whole time; probably a bad idea), PaperMan reflexively attacked without thought, throwing his arm out towards the Cacty.

... Wait, this arm didn't have a RageClaw equipped. Apparently PaperMan did not react well to the adrenaline of battle. In a desperate maneuver to keep his hand from getting cactus-speared, PaperMan hurriedly folded it into its sword form. It wasn't his best piece of origami by any stretch of the imagination, but it had a sharp point, so PaperMan used it to stab at the Cacty, hoping to poke it to death before the green virus returned the gesture.

"Don't forget about the other virus, unless you want to get bombed... again." mentioned Turner lazily, caring only to get this fight done with. They wouldn't need to walk for much longer to get to the restaurant, and he still didn't have the money he needed to pay.

Regardless of the motivations behind it, PaperMan appreciated the notice, and as advised turned his attention on the Beetank. Feeling that his processes didn't have much left before they had to refresh, PaperMan wanted to defeat the bombing virus in one blow. Disappointingly, the RageClaw in his hand lacked the power to do so, and the only other chip Turner had left wasn't enough either. But sometimes... All you had was effort, and with enough of it things would work out. PaperMan could only believe. He rushed the Beetank with his paper RageClaw raised, and...

Tripped. His paper foot folded on itself, sending the Navi tumbling to the ground. The klutzy roll did not stop his advance, however, and in his flailing PaperMan accidentally swiped at the Beetank with the RageClaw. The momentum from his fall provided PaperMan's RageClaw with just enough force to potentially propel something of even the Beetank's size just far enough to fall off the side of the cliff. Sometimes you just have to believe...

Actions:

--PAPER GRASS BRIDGE REPAIR (Set Large Area Grass over Cracked terrain)
1. Run across bridge (Movement) (+5 HP)
2. Papercutter (60 Wood damage, Slashing) @ CactyB (+5 HP)
3. RageClaw Throw (20 damage, Impact) Beetank into Missing terrain (+5 HP)
PaperMan went forth and sowed his wild oats, a veritable crop of green construction paper emerging from the ground around him. The grass spread across the bridge, roots forging together the cracked terrain, and rippled out beneath the two remaining viruses. PaperMan charged forward down the bridge. His paper blade sliced into the Cacty's body, though the weapon had little effect against the virus' tough body.

The Beetank was far too large for PaperMan to lift, even with the power of the RageClaw, but the Navi's rolling charge allowed him to bowl over the virus. The Beetank tipped onto its side and kept rolling, sliding off the side of the ledge and into nothingness. Meanwhile, the grass seemed to cheer up both PaperMan and the cactus, restoring some of their lost vitality. In fact, the virus was so happy with the terrain change that it rolled its head down the bridge once more, keeping its vulnerable head away from PaperMan.

CactyA: DELETED
CactyB: 35HP
Beetank: DELETED

Terrain: 30% Normal, 60% Grass, 10% Missing (one huge row)

PaperMan.EXE: 100HP
PaperMan scratched his head with his un-clawed hand, creating the sound of crinkling paper as he grappled with the confusion of the Cacty's head running away. Normally he would have given chase immediately, but the problem here... the Cacty left its body behind. The origami Navi gave following the head across the bridge serious thought, but ultimately he decided that it would be best for everyone if he just dealt with the body instead.

Without turning to Turner or Shiri for input, PaperMan approached the headless virus. Without its attacking portion to worry about for the time being, PaperMan circled around the body for a minute, sizing it up and looking for a way to destroy it. His Papercutter did some damage, but it looked like he'd need some extra oomph if he was going to cut up this resilient body.

... Sadly, the RageClaw was about as good as it was going to get in the oomph department. Having to make do, PaperMan took a cautious and experimental swipe at the top piece of the Cacty's body. Being unsure if that was enough, he then took a quick stab at the body's base. Finally, PaperMan then lifted his RageClaw over his head before swinging it down vertically to tear at the entire virus.

Actions:

1. RageClaw (40 damage, Slashing) @ CactyB's body
2. RageClaw (40 damage, Slashing) @ CactyB's body
3. RageClaw (40 damage, Slashing) @ CactyB's body
PaperMan hacks at the Cacty's body. It's tough, but it goes down in two slices. The virus explodes and the head spirals towards PaperMan before also exploding....

...into rewards.

CactyA: DELETED
CactyB: DELETED
Beetank: DELETED

Terrain: 30% Normal, 60% Grass, 10% Missing (one huge row)

PaperMan.EXE: 100HP

-VICTORY-
GET: Double Bomb, 200z
"Daddy, are we there yet?" asked Shiri quizzically, having gotten tired of walking on a hungry tummy.

"Almost." answered Turner generically, though to his ire, it wasn't a total lie. Shiri was too short to see, but Turner spotted the restaurant's sign around the end of this block. Damn, they were getting there faster than he expected. Maybe he should've taken a scenic bus route to kill some more time... Wait, damnit, Turner didn't even have bus fare money either. How the hell was he so poor?

"Here Shiri, play with PaperMan for a bit." decided Turner, bemoaning his poverty as he slipped the new Battlechip into his pocket and handed the PET over to his daughter. The last thing PaperMan saw of Turner was a sharp glare commanding "MOVE FASTER".

"Yay! Let's go, PaperMan!" cheered Shiri after being successfully distracted by her father. The origami Navi nodded to the little girl, clapped his hands together, and burst into as fast a run as a structurally impossible body could. To combat poverty!

(Battle 4 Start)
A little while into the trip to the online ATM, and they were almost there. Of course, their route was stopped when PaperMan happened across an unusual sight. Two Bunnies were hopping madly around a tall pillar of approximately fifteen-foot height. One was chasing the other in a simple game of catch-me-if-you-can, or more commonly known as tag. A Spikey canine was watching quietly over the bunnies, resting its head on its paws peacefully. On top of the pillar, a Cannondumb virus swiveled around lazily, looking around the place. Suddenly, it caught PaperMan walking by, and beeped loudly to alert its other brethren. All the viruses immediately went on alert, ready for battle.

-- ENEMIES --
Spikey: 90 HP (In front of group)
Bunny A: 50 HP (Hopping around pillar)
Bunny B: 50 HP (Hopping around pillar)
Canodumb: 50 HP (On top of pillar)

-- OBJECTS --
Tall Pillar: 150 HP

-- NAVIGATOR --
PaperMan.EXE: 100 HP

-- TERRAIN --
100% Normal

-- BATTLE 04, READY? START!! --
"Doggie! It's a doggie, PaperMan!" exclaimed Shiri as she shook the PET up and down, her voice full of delight and youthful mirth. She loved doggies, and the Spikey PaperMan had run into was definitely a doggie. "Does it want to play, PaperMan? Does it?"

PaperMan scratched his head, not sure how to tell her that viruses didn't have the same definition of "play" as she did. Well... He had run into two different friendly viruses in just this one errand, so it couldn't hurt to check. PaperMan glanced at the Spikey virus... and after seeing a fairly harmless wisp of fire escape from its mouth, completely freaked out.

"PaperMan? What's wrong?" asked Shiri nervously as the Navi ran around in frantic circles while pantomiming his pyrophobia. He folded his body's edges to make it look like there were (paper) flames on it, hopped into the air with limbs spread as if he was exploding, and occasionally dove into a fire-smothering roll, among other things. "Daddy... Something's wrong with PaperMan..." whimpered Shiri, who was very worried that she might have broken her father's Navi.

Turner took the PET from his daughter without a word, glanced at PaperMan's antics, scrolled over to look at the Spikey, then gave the device back to Shiri. "... Mm. Just give him this." replied Turner, handing a Battlechip to Shiri along with the PET. No, there was no clever or elaborate plan behind the single chip. Turner didn't even know what chip it was. He had just pulled it out of his pocket blindly and handed it off to his daughter.

With the exemplary show of parenting done, Shiri took the Cannon from her father and put it into the PET after a few failed attempts. PaperMan, still frantic, barely noticed his hand's transformation as he continued running. The chip's arrival thankfully at least dragged him enough back towards sanity to realize that if he was going to run, it would be best to do so away from the Spikey, not in circles in front of it. As the origami Navi began running in a wide arc around the pillar, a chill ran through his body, making him believe that the fire virus was glaring at him. Whether that was true, a lucky guess, or completely wrong was unknown and probably irrelevant, though the kneejerk reaction produced as a result did bring PaperMan to launch a sheet of paper at the Spikey, aiming to wrap the virus's fire-breathing mouth in a temporary muzzle.

PaperMan hit the brakes once he had run around the pillar enough to enter the blind spot between the Spikey and himself. In his panic, though, he had failed to keep even a occasional track on the location of the Bunny pair, and then there was the problem that no matter where he ran, there was a Canodumb looming at the top of the pillar. While he could be rational when fire wasn't involved, this was still a problem... Argh, all he could think of was knocking the pillar over. PaperMan rubbed his head in frustration as he could only figure that doing so would get the Canodumb off his trail. Being not the best strategist in the world, PaperMan didn't even consider the idea that toppling over a pillar when a dangerous virus was on the other side could potentially have good results.

Oh well, since he only had a Cannon on hand, this was the best PaperMan could do. He quickly lifted his arm and locked onto the upper part of the pillar with his paper Cannon, then fired. An ink-soaked paper cannonball emerged from the barrel before trying to knock the tall object off its center of gravity and down to the ground. Uncertain of what would happen, but still mostly just scared witless over the Spikey's presence, PaperMan backed off from the virus group, hoping to avoid whatever retaliation might come his way.

Actions:
--Debuff (11 Buff) @ Spikey
1. Run around pillar to side opposite of Spikey (Movement)
2. Cannon (40 damage, Knockback) @ top of Tall Pillar, knock it over
--Tall Pillar Topple (???) @ Spikey/Canodumb/???
3. Dodge
Trying to keep himself from having several consecutive panic attacks, PaperMan started off by throwing a piece of paper at the Spikey, which wrapped around its snout like a muzzle. This didn't hold the canine virus for long, for it broke through the restraint easily with a breath of fire. Thankfully, the paper was stronger than it seemed, and drastically reduced the intensity of the Spikey's fireball. The fire shot missed anyway, and PaperMan headed around the pillar. Before he could fire his Cannon, however, an electrical ring fired from a Bunny's ears hit his torso, causing shocks to travel through his body! (10) Undaunted, the origami fighter carried on with his plan, blasting the Cannon at the pillar. This caused the pillar, which was top-heavy due to the Canodumb being anchored on top of it, to topple. Obviously, this had good results, as the pillar crushed the Spikey over its skull before anyone could react. The Canodumb was a little luckier, for it only received a good whack on the side. That single whack did damage it a good bit, and it was now lying on its side, desperately trying to swivel around for the target it saw earlier.

-- ENEMIES --
Spikey: DELETED
Bunny A: 50 HP (Hopping around Canodumb)
Bunny B: 50 HP (Hopping around Canodumb)
Canodumb: 10 HP (Side of toppled pillar)

-- OBJECTS --
Tall Pillar: TOPPLED

-- NAVIGATOR --
PaperMan.EXE: 90 HP (Stun! -1 Action)

-- TERRAIN --
90% Normal, 10% Pillar Rubble
"It worked, Daddy! It worked! PaperMan beat the doggie!" cheered Shiri excitedly, having witnessed a shining display of dumb luck at its finest. "You're amazing, Daddy!"

"Ha ha... Sure am..." nodded Turner cautiously, being entirely unsure what he was getting praised for. In fact, he wasn't sure how to proceed after this, since his daughter was probably expecting another piece of "brilliance" from him. "Here, take this. It should help too." instructed Turner as he handed his daughter another completely random chip out of his pocket. Just how far was this guy willing to push his luck?

"Okay Daddy! Let's go, PaperMan!" exclaimed Shiri with the fire of adventure in her eyes, as she slotted the new chip in with relatively greater ease compared to last time. In response, however, all Shiri heard was the crackling and popping sounds of very stiff paper bending. "PaperMan? Is something wrong?" asked the young girl quizzically.

Unknown to the fledgling Operator, PaperMan got hit by a Bunny's electric attack in the chaos of the falling pillar, and the electric currents, while not dealing any excessive damage to his Wood-infused body, did stun him to the point where it was hard to move. Despite that, PaperMan forced his hand upwards enough to give Shiri a thumbs up of reassurance as he loaded up the DoubleBomb she had given him in his other hand.

Now, bomb design has always been more art than science (though science still certainly has a part), but this was PaperMan. Both art and science were thrown out the window. The origami Navi materialized the dual explosives in his hand as... wads of crushed paper. These were bombs? Not yet, apparently, because PaperMan took one of the bombs and crushed yet another sheet of paper around it, giving the explosive an extra layer of power.

Now eying the remaining viruses, PaperMan had to pick a target. He had two bombs, and there were two Bunnies... "Get the cannon, PaperMan!" ordered Shiri out of the blue. "The Bunnies are playing ring around the rosie with the cannon! And the bombs Daddy gave me go BOOM really big! All of them will get tagged out before they even see it coming!" Wise words from an unlikely source... Well, no, Shiri worded that as only a 6 year old could, but the strategy was still sound.

PaperMan could live with that. Fighting against the binding static around, PaperMan heaved the two paper bombs over his shoulder and into the fray. As they arced towards the central Canondumb target, PaperMan backed away in his defense as the static locking began running its full course. Now the Navi could only watch the ensuing explosion... of paper shreds...?

Actions:
--Buff (11 Strengthen) to:
1. Paper DoubleBomb (31 Blast 2 damage; 20 Blast 2 damage) @ Canodumb/BunnyA/B
2. Dodge
3. Stun
Making a couple of paper... explosives, PaperMan did away with the bombs, landing them in enemy territory. Unfortunately, the Bunny viruses took that moment to hop around even more frantically, not choosing to attack. The bombs landed far from their range of hopping madness, but the Canodumb did not survive the spherical overlap.

-- ENEMIES --
Spikey: DELETED
Bunny A: 50 HP (Hopping around pillar rubble)
Bunny B: 50 HP (Hopping around pillar rubble)
Canodumb: DELETED

-- OBJECTS --
Tall Pillar: TOPPLED

-- NAVIGATOR --
PaperMan.EXE: 90 HP

-- TERRAIN --
90% Normal, 10% Pillar Rubble (Treat as Normal, except raised a little)
"Daddy... It didn't work..." whined Shiri, tugging at the leg of her father's ratty pants. As if Turner didn't already have enough to be ashamed of after flaunting his non-existant Netbattling wisdom, Shiri added salt to the wound by giving him the wide puppy-dog eyes. Yes, those eyes. The eyes that make you feel sorry for existing. Good job, Turner.

"Oh... Uh... I'm sure it was just bad luck, Shiri." said Turner desperately as he patted his daughter's head, hoping that would appease her disappointment. Even if it didn't, Turner definitely had to actually pay attention to the situation from here on if he didn't want to become the world's worst father in a hurry. Looking over Shiri to see the PET's screen, Turner counted 2 Bunnies remaining which he could only guess escaped what she was trying to do before. Two viruses... That should work, right? "... Here, try this Shotgun chip Shiri. If PaperMan can just aim it right, then it should take care of those two viruses for you."

"Really? Thanks Daddy!" replied Shiri with revitalized spirit as she took the Battlechip. "Did you hear, PaperMan? You can do it, right?" she asked of the Navi as the chip was placed into the PET.

PaperMan tried to give the young girl a confident thumbs-up in response, but by the time he raised his hand to do it, it had already been transformed into an ink-loaded shotgun. So, as a result, all Shiri got as an answer was an awkward barrel-up. Eh, close enough.

He then turned the gun barrel on the bouncing pair of viruses, but... caffeinated was a light word to use. With the way they were hopping around, it was no wonder that they evaded the explosion. This would not be an easy shot to get both Bunnies, but PaperMan had to do it. Turner gave him this Shotgun with the duty of making Shiri happy. That was about as big a deal as Turner had ever given PaperMan, and he really didn't want to ruin it due to his poor battle skills, his flimsy body, or whatever. This was about more than the battle! And so PaperMan waited with gun ready. Waited for that one moment where Shiri would win this virus battle all on her own. And when it did come, PaperMan fired his ink gun with all the determination of a Navi trying to make a 6 year old temporary Operator into a victorious fighter.

Actions:
1. Aim (Accuracy +)
2. Aim (Accuracy +)
2. Shotgun (50 damage, Spread 1) @ BunnyA/B
Lining up the Bunnies was a tough job, as they seemed to be running on an all-time high. Still, PaperMan somehow managed to shoot down both of them with a single shot, but not without getting clocked with yet another ring of electricity. (10)

-- ENEMIES --
Spikey: DELETED
Bunny A: DELETED
Bunny B: DELETED
Canodumb: DELETED

-- OBJECTS --
Tall Pillar: TOPPLED

-- NAVIGATOR --
PaperMan.EXE: 80 HP

-- TERRAIN --
90% Normal, 10% Pillar Rubble (Treat as Normal, except raised a little)

-- BATTLE 04, VICTORY!! --

-- REWARDS --

400 Zenny
PaperMan flinched as the second ring of electricity struck him, but really, he didn't even care. This was a victory for Shiri! The origami Navi flopped onto his his paper bum in relief, while the victorious girl herself excitedly bounced around in circles around her father with such vigor that even the Bunnies from the battle would've been stunned.

"Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy! We won! PaperMan won!" shouted Shiri giddily as she bounced around, making it difficult for Turner to wrest the PET from her so he could transfer the dropped zenny to his meager Netbattling fund. "Yes... That's... great... Shiri... Now... let... Daddy... have... the... PET...!" grunted Turner, having to pause after every failed attempt to swipe the device.

"Okay, here you go!" announced Shiri, stopping on the spot and presenting the PET to Turner. Wow, quick turnabout. "You need to pay for lunch, anyway!"

That was a pretty specific statement, which threw Turner off a little bit. "Well, yeah, but it's a little bit f... F-" Bite your tongue, Turner. The sign they just walked under... Oh god... Turner turned his head to the right... Oh god... Holding the PET out of his daughter's sight, Turner sent frantic silent messages to PaperMan to get his flammable ass in gear and get his money. This was a dire situation now. They were... here...

Pizza Hub.

(Battle 5 Start)
(Bump)
The message got across to PaperMan and, like any other good navis, he hurried up on his quest to reach the bank. But before he realized...the bank was already within sight! The navi wasted no time and quickly hurried towards his destination, but a strange, limping figure suddenly came across his way.

"Hrmm...Hrrrrmmm..."

The figure was actually a custom navi wearing a bright green, silk outfit with an orient language scribed vertically through out his arm. There was also a thin copper plate that hung around his waist and clattered everytime he took a step. He was supporting himself up with a giant blue stick of somesort and kept on mumbling to himself as his head stayed low.

"Sorr...sorr hungreeee..."

Sporting a rather thick accent, the navi continued his walk for a few second before he lifted his head to find PaperMan standing beside him. "Hooo?! Can dis be?" He raised his head to reveal his bright, narrow orange eyes staring vigorously at the navi. Suddenly, a trail of drool began to flow out from both end of his mouth and his eyes literally began to sparkle.

"Ai bagged people for mooney, but no one won't even su-pear a single Zenny! I'm sorry, but curse my stomak and its need!!"

The unknown navi kicked the staff he was using on to his shoulder and held both end with his arm, crouching down to a very low stance. The way he stood wasn't just for show, the form he took was obviously shaped and mastered through out years of training...However, his legs began to shake and his eyes began to falter, most likely due to hunger. "...Yu-Yuu look like a weak navi, Gibbme all your Zenny and you'll go free from Shao!!"

Shao.EXE: 200 HP

Terrain: 100% Normal

PaperMan.EXE: 80 HP

-BOSS BATTLE, START!-
"Daddy...! Daddy...! What are you waiting for?" whined Shiri, tugging at her father's pants leg as she attempted the daunting task of dragging a 6-foot-plus man through the doors of Pizza Hub. Needless to say... it wasn't working.

After fumbling around with his PET out of his daughter's line of sight, Turner turned his attention back to the real world. "Oh... Nothing, nothing really. Come on." muttered Turner in unconvincing fashion, but it was enough to pass the belief check of a 6 year old. As any good father should (or any for that matter, since he probably didn't fall into the first category), Turner pushed the door open for Shiri to walk through, then followed after.

Inside, Turner was extremely relieved to see that it was still prime lunch hour and that a moderate line of people remained at the register. That could at least stall for PaperMan a bit longer. At last check, Turner had seen the bank's online ATM nearby, so it should only take another minute or so for his account to fill up. Just as a last cursory glance, Turner looked at his PET's screen... and saw his Navi getting shouted at by some crazy beggar.

"... Sh-" Bite your tongue, Turner. You're in public, at a busy restaurant no less, with your young daughter at your feet. "...-iri! Shiri!" barked Turner suddenly. "We need to wash our hands first. Always a must before eating." Muuuch better, Turner. And a nice stall tactic, to boot.

"Okay, Daddy!" nodded Shiri as she skipped her way to the ladies' restroom. Turner, in polar opposite fashion, stomped his way to the men's restroom, and when he had gone inside to see it vacant of other people, the gruff man put his PET to his face. "PaperMan. Destroy him." ordered Turner with the ferocity of a demon. This fool dared to pander for money off of him?! He had money problems too! Did this crazy Navi think the world revolved around him?! Well it didn't. Turner was keen on showing him that quickly by crushing his world, then moving on, getting some money, and buying his daughter lunch. For the first time all day, Turner took a Battlechip from his pocket and eagerly jammed it in his PET. Quite frankly, it was good fortune that the PET didn't burst into pieces from how hard he mashed that chip in.

PaperMan, on the other hand, was lost, confused, and realizing that he had no idea how to deal with foreigners. At least... he thought Shao was a foreigner. Maybe he had an error, but PaperMan didn't want to offend. Unfortunately for the kind-hearted Navi... Turner did want to offend. With heavy weaponry. As PaperMan raised his hand to try and signal that he didn't have much money, the Cannon his Operator slotted in formed around his hand. For added misfortune, PaperMan was also trying to produce a sign from his hand to write that he didn't have money if the signals didn't go through, but all that ended up going towards was reinforcing the paper-wad cannonball in the suddenly-spawned weapon. And, to add injury to insult in this case, PaperMan was so surprised by the sudden transformation that the Cannon fired. At Shao's face.

Having potentially triggered an international incident, PaperMan leaped back in a combination of surprise and kickback from the Cannon shot... only to flop onto the ground and roll a few feet back, causing blades of grass to pop up like mad in his wake. Did PaperMan even have a single bit of control of what he was doing...?

"PaperMan, pull it together. We don't the time for this." snapped Turner mercilessly... as he reached over for the soap, having placed his PET on the nearby shelf and started washing his hands. NOW was when you chose to actually be a good parent and lead by example? Good grief, Turner.

Having long since passed the point of no return, PaperMan had no choice but to fight as he got himself back up to his feet. But, of course, Turner had failed to provide him a Battlechip despite the Operator's determination. That was okay, though. It just meant that Turner had faith in PaperMan... Right? Sure. PaperMan needed some kind of motivation, at least. With the delusion that his Operator wasn't just negligent, PaperMan launched himself at Shao, this time willfully transforming his arm. His fingers merged together and his forearm thinned out as it took the form of his paper blade, and with it PaperMan took a sweeping diagonal-down slash at the foreign-sounding beggar. Having successfully attempted that, PaperMan backed off into an evasive stance, vaguely sensing that he had already met his quota of competent fighting for the moment.

Actions:
--Buff (11 Strengthen to):
1. Paper Cannon (51 damage, Knockback) @ Shao
--SetGrass (Large Area Grass Terrain) around PaperMan
--Grass Regen (+5 HP per action on Grass)
2. Papercutter (60 Wood damage, Slashing, 2TCD) @ Shao
3. Dodge

Cooldowns:
Papercutter - 2 turns
"WAAH!"

Shao was completely caught off guard by the unintended cannon fire, but his instinct kicked in and dodged it by a hairs length. "Ar...Arr all Elektopeans savages like yuu?!" The navi was completely surprised that PaperMan actually retaliated...Something he should have foresaw when he tried his first dive at mugging.

With his blue pole, Shao began the strange ritual of spinning it around his neck multiple times before he held it with both his hands like any normal people. "Ai have no otter choice! I'm terribly sorree!" He curled only his index and his thumb around the front of the pole, almost posing the weapon as a billiard cue.

In a flash, Shao instantly covered the distance between himself and PaperMan, placing the pole literally an inch away from its thin body. "GAN!" What felt like a light tap of the pole against his body, PaperMan was actually thrown almost all the way across the field (and away from the bank). The pressure exerted from the attack could've easily punctured through a paper like thin air...but thankfully, PaperMan wasn't. (-30 / Microburst)

"Haa...Haa...Haa..."

Shao, on the other hand, was feeling already exhausted from the attack as he was leaning against his pole. (Enemy: Sacrifice 15) "Now you saw what Shao was cap-abel of! Leave the mooney before you get hurt anymore!" He tried his best to keep an intimidating look, but his hunger just got the best of him. His eyes began to faze out once more, and coincidentally, matching the exact same moment when PaperMan dashed forward with his paper blade. Unable to concentrate at all, the poor hungry navi took the attack full on.

Shao.EXE: 125 HP

Terrain: 50% Normal, 50% Grass

PaperMan.EXE: 60 HP [On Grass]
PaperMan really needed to clear up this miscommunication somehow. The attempted robbery made enough sense, but the real problem here was that Shao was trying to rob another financially challenged Navi. Really, the effort Shao was putting forth was admirable. PaperMan could attest to the foreigner trying his best to rob him, as the origami Navi was currently sprawled out on the edge of the grass with his torso caved in like a meteor had hit it.

"Pull yourself together, PaperMan. We really don't have time for this..." muttered Turner as he punched the button for the restroom's air-dryer. He continued to speak, but amidst the sound of blasting warm air anything else Turner said was lost on his Navi.

Regardless, PaperMan peeled himself off the grassy ground and looked over his condition. Crushed chest... It'd be hard to move around like that, let alone fight. Feeling the need to fix that issue, PaperMan slammed his hands against his sides and compressed his torso like an accordion to the point that the only thing supporting the flimsy Navi from the shoulders up was a thin strip of paper. Wobbling around due to the poor stability, PaperMan then lifted his hands up and smushed his head in similar fashion, sending a surge of pressure down into his body which blew up his torso into its original form, good as new and looking like nothing had ever happened. He then let his head go, and it too quickly popped back into proper shape. Finally, PaperMan sent a thumbs-up in Shao's direction, signaling that he was okay and they could continue.

Turner had already finished drying his hands and had watched most of PaperMan's emergency repairs, and even he of all people couldn't come up with a snide remark to make. That was just... too weird, admitted Turner mentally as he shook his head. Before exiting the restroom, Turner slotted two more Battlechips into his PET to remind his Navi that he was supposed to be fighting Shao, not be making buddies with him.

A large sheet of paper ejected itself off PaperMan's left arm before folding itself many times over into a multi-layered Guard. One made of paper, albeit, but it still provided some decent defense. At the same time, PaperMan's right arm rolled itself into a large tube, and his hand likewise rolled into a smaller tube to form the barrel of a Shotgun. Once he picked up the Guard off the grass, PaperMan would be armed and ready to face Shao once more.

... Except he didn't pick up the Guard, Turner saw as he walked out of the restroom. Instead, PaperMan had dropped to his knees over the shield, began leaking ink out of the Shotgun, and was writing on the defensive Battlechip. Turner's eyebrow twitched slightly in prelude to a verbal explosion, but ultimately he decided to spare himself the public indecency charges that would have been levied against him. Instead, Turner shifted to the afterthought of looking for his daughter. The display of magnificent parenting proved fruitless, and Shiri still had not exited from the women's restroom. After thinking on it for a moment, Turner realized that the sinks in the restrooms were somewhat high up, so Shiri was probably having some extra difficulty washing her hands. Huh, that ended up being an even better stall tactic than Turner expected.

Back on the Net, PaperMan had just finished his impromptu writing assignment. Now his Guard read as follows:

"I'M
POOR"


Brilliant. Now Shao would surely come to understand that he had little to gain trying to rob PaperMan. He clapped his free hand against the Shotgun in satisfaction before picking up the now-explanatory Guard before facing Shao once more. Despite the attempt at civil communication, PaperMan had let slip from his mind the fact that trying to make peace with his opponent meant not. As a result, he pointed the Shotgun at the foreign Navi in continuation of Turner's orders to fight. PaperMan wanted to be a good NetNavi, and a good NetNavi followed his Operator's orders. Made sense, right?

Regardless of the insane disparity in the meaning of PaperMan's actions, the origami Navi raised his shield in a defensive measure against Shao, who had already proven he could cover ground fast. From around the corner of the Guard, PaperMan pointed the ink-loaded Shotgun out and fired, letting out a bullet of ink that left a trail of drippings along the ground as it flew. He then retreated behind the shield once more, and watched for whatever response Shao would provide.

Actions:

--Grass Regen (+5 HP per action on Grass)
1. Equip Guard1 (1 Hit Shield, Reflect 60, Piercing, Line Attack)
--Buff (11 Strengthen to:)
2. Shotgun (61 damage, Spread 1) @ Shao
3. Dodge

Cooldowns:
Papercutter - 1 turn
Shao enthusiastically watched PaperMan fix his injury with an almost comic-like method. "Ooohh" The mugger clapped his hands in amusement. "What an inter-isting navi!" With an idiotic smile on his face, Shao continued to have his good time till his stomach kicked up and told him to get to business.

The navi groaned as he placed his left hand over his stomach, unable to contain his dire need for anything consumable. "A-anyting will do!" He frantically dashed towards the grassy half of the field and fell on his knees; his hands digging into the blades of grass and...shoving the greens into his mouth and forcefully gulping them down his throat. "*COUGHCOUGH*" Of course, he eventually gagged everything out of his system, but he found himself near PaperMan even after sending him all the way across the field.

He quickly backed away while he tightly held onto his blue staff, immediately lunging his weapon straight forward in a more direct fashion than before. Shao saw PaperMan raise his shield in defense and caught only a glimpse of what was written on there. "I'm P-..." Unable to read the simplest two words in time before the staff crunched the paper shield, Shao was notice the civil message PaperMan had created and found himself struck back by his own attack.

Disgruntled, and even a little delusional, Shao got back on his feet immediately and held his staff just over his head. "Need Mooney!" After taking one large step forward, Shao swung the staff in a sweeping motion over PaperMan's legs, successfully knocking the navi down to the ground. "Hyap!" The hungry navi jumped up into the sky and dove his head straight down to the ground along with his staff, quickly gaining speed down onto PaperMan. The poor navi was unable to avoid the attack as the staff, again, almost punctured through his body, while Shao stood perfectly balanced upside down against the barely standing staff on top of Paperman. [-50]

However, due to all his theatrics, Shao left himself wide open for the inky-shotgun as the blast of the gun sent him flying to the sky. His body lifelessly thudded against the soft grass, simply moaning some more rather than getting up on his two feet. "...*Sniff*...Oh, a coo-rum of a bread would be fine..."

Shao.EXE: 44 HP

Terrain: 50% Normal, 50% Grass

PaperMan.EXE: 25 HP [On Grass] [Guard Broken]
Bread crumbs? Why bread crumbs? If he was going to starve (not to question the possibility of a Navi having hunger), then why didn't Shao dream of something better? Like... pancakes. Pancakes were delicious. Especially with a pad of butter on top and drizzled in honey... PaperMan loved pancakes. If he was a food and not a Navi, he'd be a pancake.

Oh wait. He was a pancake. Shao's diving attack hit him so hard that PaperMan got smushed to the ground and was currently looking up at the fallen foreigner from about... 3 inches high. Darn his malleable body. This being PaperMan, though, he wasn't terribly concerned with what would otherwise be a gruesome injury. Instead, the origami Navi managed to force his arms free from under his... chest? Maybe. It was all kind of mashed together at the moment, so it was hard to tell which body part was where. In any case, PaperMan then grabbed his right arm with his left hand, and began moving the arm up and down like a lever. Up, down, up, down it went, and with each push of his arm, PaperMan grew just a little bit taller...

For the second time since this fight started, Turner could only watch on in a mix of embarrassment and shame. Why was his Navi so flimsy, and why did he have to deal with it in such a cartoon-like method? God...

"Daddy!" chirped Shiri out of the blue, having discretely emerged from the woman's restroom and nearly made her father jump out of his skin. "Hands all clean!" Indeed, Shiri's hands almost sparkled as she showed them palms-open to Turner.

"Ah... Yeah, good job." acknowledged Turner as he patted his daughter's head. "So what kind of pizza do you want?" he asked, showing his awareness for the first time that they were indeed in the Pizza Hub restaurant.

"Pepperoni! Extra cheese!" answered the young girl enthusiastically. Simplistic, but to be expected at 6 years old.

"Alright. Go find a place to sit while I order." commanded Turner as he spun Shiri around to face the seating area before giving her a nudge in that direction. He watched his daughter hop, skip, and bounce off for all of one second before turning back to his PET, to find his Navi back to full height and in working order. "Are you done?" grumbled Turner in frustration.

PaperMan nodded and gave his Operator a thumbs-up, and for what it's worth, gave a thumbs-up to Shao as well. He was such a friendly adversary in this fight to the EJO. He did freeze in that position for a moment, however, as he noticed that wow, he really did hurt all over the place. His ability to clear up the superficial damage did nothing to heal his actual incurred damage, and PaperMan had kinda lost track of how hard he had gotten hit up to this point. There's no way he'd mention that to Turner, though. Turner didn't need to worry about that... not that he'd worry. More like be irritated by. Either way, PaperMan could live with it until the end of the battle... hopefully.

"Whatever. Just take this and finish him quickly. I'm getting in line now, and I need that money." said Turner as an ultimatum before sliding the RageClaw into his PET.

PaperMan nodded in response as he let his right hand be transformed the razor-sharp nails of the RageClaw. Well... Okay, paper-sharp. Close enough. Regardless of which, though, PaperMan would need a little more power to defeat Shao. To accommodate that, PaperMan brought sheets of paper from around his body around and into the RageClaw, beefing it up in size, strength, and sharpness. It was a temporary solution at best, but the origami Navi hoped it would do.

PaperMan charged at Shao without any more hesitation, and the patchwork of his powered-up weapon became evident as sheets of paper began peeling off as he ran. With "too little, too late" only moments away, PaperMan swiped at the enemy beggar with his RageClaw, and that attacking motion alone was enough to cause the excess construction on the Battlechip to explode the impact of a snowball. With the base model of the RageClaw still intact, though, PaperMan leaped at Shao once more, thrusting at his chest with the palm of the claw-hand. Praying that this was enough, PaperMan scrambled back away from Shao, having felt his attacking power more than enough times already.

Actions:
--Grass Regen (+5 HP per action on Grass)
--Buff (11 Strengthen to:)
1. Big Paper RageClaw (51 damage, Slashing) @ Shao
2. Not So Big Paper RageClaw (20 damage, Impact) @ Shao
3. Dodge

Cooldowns:
Papercutter - Ready