Dharma's Unnecessary Yacht

Going directly from public transportation to private yacht was a pleasure enjoyed by few; one of these few was Dharma Heart Payne, who nowadays seemed to be doing it enough to make up for everyone else. "Phillip, you would not believe the results I've been getting!" the president of Heart-Payne Pharmaceuticals cackled, leaning over the railing at the helm of her ship to strike a dramatic pose. Phillip allowed himself, briefly, to imagine a world where he could see the president as beautiful instead of as some abominable monster. "I believe I managed to come across an aphrodisiac in my latest tests!"

Phillip spat out some of his drink, as Dharma had known he would. She loved making Phillip waste about half the cost paid for any drink he consumed on every occasion possible. "It is not my place to second-guess you, but certainly you know that aphrodisiacs already exist as a form of medicine, probably even for navis? Love is not as *sniff* simple as physical arousal," Phillip pointed out, wiping the liquid from his nose and mouth while he spoke. Or at least, that's how it looked to Dharma. The guy really caught a lot of colds and was kind of a sniffling person to begin with.

"Of course," she murmured in response, feeling irritable. The effects of the aphrodisiac seemed pretty damn similar to love, to her. What was love, anyways? "So what's missing?"

"Love requires: genuine trust, fondness, caring; two-sided emotions, you see. Sex, by its nature, is often non-consensual. It can't be used as a measure for love," Phillip offered, pausing to wipe down his glasses as well. His sad, puppy-like brown eyes regarded Phero pityingly for a moment, but he knew that would only make her angry, and thus quickly replaced the spectacles. "The people who would be interested in this drug need more than just carnal feelings, Madam President. They would desire genuine empathy."

"Big words!" Dharma spat, turning away to face back towards the Beach Street harbor. "Emotions aren't some kind of magic, or part of some unreachable element of 'soul.' Emotions are something that arise from chemical reactions, just like everything else on our planet. They can be bent to my will if I merely continue my research," she fantasized. "Think about the person you love the most, Phillip. You've wasted countless years of time with that person, worrying about just the right thing to say, trying not to offend, trying to sound charming! Imagine all of that, achieved in a single pill, to be taken orally! Or perhaps you'd like a suppository? Whatever the case, at current, love is just plain inefficient. The world will come to accept my inevitable love drug with open arms."

"Regardless, Phero is ready. The effects of the aphrodisiac seem to have disappeared," Phillip reported, handing Dharma her PET.

"Excellent! How is my little guinea pig doing?" Dharma asked, smiling down into her PET.

Phero glanced up at her, then back down at her feet. "I'm somewhat worried. It seems as though Cheshire's expectations of me might be skewed due to the first impression I set. She may be disappointed if I don't act something like I did then," the navi answered honestly.

"You think so? I think she'd be relieved, if anything," Dharma responded, raising one eyebrow. She couldn't really imagine anyone wanting Phero to act so lovey-dovey without provocation.

"No, I believe that judging by several of her uncontrolled responses, she may have enjoyed it," Phero continued, blushing slightly.

"And I believe that by several of yours, you may have enjoyed it too," the operator suggested, unable to resist the urge to provoke her navi, even if it was counterproductive to do so.

Indeed, it was, as Phero only grew more confused. "What should I do, Madam President?" she asked, placing both gloved hands over her face.

Here, Dharma was a little struck, because she had no idea what Phero should actually do. She'd never been in a social situation so awkward before, since generally she had the option to just walk out of the room and never see someone again, buy them out, maybe blackmail them. Nobody could really order her to speak to a person she felt awkward around if she didn't want to. "Deal with it," was her simple response, as she turned her eyes back to the buildings on the horizon point.

"I will try..." Phero sighed. Nodding, Dharma jacked her into the public use network of the harbor, the coordinates of which responded to those she'd given Iris earlier.

((Jacking into Beach Net))

Dharma pressed one hand to her forehead, massaging it as she worked out what to do about her navi's newfound sense of entitlement. Well, at least she was apparently getting a free spa trip out of all of it. Was it free? Regardless, even if she had to pay, it's not like she was pressed for money. What she was pressed for, however, was time. Time, the most valuable asset of a genius megalomaniac, was precious to Dharma; the recent attachments Phero had developed were beginning to rob the operator of that precious resource. "Well, perhaps I've underestimated myself! I am a genius; why shouldn't I take time to rest here and again? The hare still could've beaten the tortoise if he'd only been a bit smarter," she chuckled.

As Dharma strode across the deck to grab her labcoat, Phillip watched her with a curious expression. "Going somewhere, Madam President?" he inquired, keeping both hands crossed behind his back.

"To take a bath, actually. A place called Tonglen Bathhouse, here on Beach Street. Before you ask: no, you were not invited," she answered, smiling back at him just to illicit another cough. "I trust you'll take good care of the boat while I'm away?"

Phillip seemed momentarily disappointed; he'd have really liked to go to a bathhouse himself to get rid of some of his own aches and stress. "Yes, ma'am. I'm going to head below deck; call me if you need anything," he responded, then turned to leave.

Frowning, Dharma pondered over whether it was wise to leave without any form of security detail. She'd been traveling alone pretty often recently and it was still a fairly unfamiliar experience to her, although not actually scary; nothing really scared her. Still, people as a rule were stupid; the only reason other famous and rich people got attacked or mugged or extorted was because they weren't as smart as she was. Nobody would try to screw with the president of Heart Payne Pharmaceuticals Incorporated if they knew what was good for them.

... But if all people are stupid, that means they probably don't know what's good for them. Warily, Dharma fingered the taser in her labcoat's inside pocket. "That's what I keep you around for," she thought to herself with another devious smile, heading off towards her destination.

Aboard the deck of Dharma's terrifically large ship, the company president and her lead researcher, Phillip, stood aside watching the party unfold. It wasn't as busy as it could have been... since she had only sent the invitation the day of. "Nobody would have come at all if they didn't get to mooch off of their president's fortune... But then, that's their day to day routine, isn't it? Wouldn't it be splendid to fire everyone who attended the party?" she thought to herself,allowing a faint, attractive smile to play at her lips. If she let loose and smiled like she really felt, she'd look less like the smiling hostess and more like a twisted movie villain.

"Considering the late notice, this is a decent turnout," Phillip commented. Most of the guests were dressed in swimsuits or party attire, but Phillip and Dharma still wore their lab coats (the latter of the two wore dark black, making her impossible to miss).

"All part of my plan, Phillip. The smaller crowd heightens their sense of privilege, making them easier to manipulate to my wishes. Not that a larger crowd would be beyond my power," the president chuckled. The boat hadn't pushed off from the harbor yet, so they were still accepting stragglers. "The plan for tonight is recruitment from within! Not a promotion, but rather,a career change... From hapless worker to hapless guinea pig~"

"A chance to test out more of your chemicals, then?"

"Yes. But beyond that, I want to see what sort of navis my employees are choosing to operate."

Phillip looked surprised; his thin eyebrows rose in two arches above the rectangle frames of his glasses. "You're taking an interest in your employees, then?" he asked.

"Not at all, you stooge," she scoffed, still keeping on her pleasant public smile despite her words. "I have a new project in mind... deliciously devious and with very low development costs. Imagine... an army of Pheros! Spreading across the net and distributing our test products... possibly without even realizing it! It gives me shivers, Phillip! I must progress towards this goal, today!"

"I see... Well then, why haven't you spoken to anyone about it yet?"

"Because I want to find the perfect navi to test with... Study them in depth in a non-intrusive way... And then record their every detail for later research. They will become Phero #2 without even realizing it! It makes me giddy," she giggled. The giggle early turned into a cackle, but she stopped herself.

"Of course... Madam President, are you wearing a swimsuit underneath your labcoat?"

"But of course! I said to bring swimsuits, didn't I? You're the only failure here," she sighed, pressing one hand to her forehead. Her head researcher's eyes drifted slowly to her bare ankles and toes as she paced the deck and he coughed into his handkerchief once more. "Soon, I will survey the network for the navi best suited for my purposes..."

"How? No one is jacking in," Phillip asked.

"Very soon, they will be!" she responded, keeping a small smile.

At the dock, a young woman in her late 20s fidgeted a bit, as she scanned the area for someone or something. She certainly looked like a Heart Payne employee, with her lab coat and overall scientist-like appearance. Even though it was a party, though, she seemed a bit uptight. "...Where IS she, SmogMan?"

"So she's running a little late. If you came all the way out here, there's no way she won't!" Another voice came from her coat's pocket. It couldn't be seen, but it was pretty obvious there was a PET in there. "Just wait a couple more minutes."

"I know...I was actually excited when I got the e-mail! But, now that I'm here, I'm getting really nervous..." Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...she was going to do this, even if it meant having to do it herself...

...But she didn't have to, as another woman approached her. She actually looked liked she was going to a party, with her sun dress and big straw hat. "Yeesh, Alda, it looks like you're hyperventilating!"

"Eh? ...Oh, there you are, Rhonda!" The shorter of the two turned around to look at her sister. "Where were you?"

"Sorry, I couldn't get out of a meeting early like I thought I could. I've been looking forward to this all week!"

"All week? But I just got the e-mail earlier today!"

"I overheard from internal affairs about it, but they caught me and ordered me to stay quiet about it, even to my own sister!"

"How dare you keep something like this from your big sister!" ...Wait, SHE was the big sister? She was shorter, and looked like she hadn't stepped outside in a month... "I'll remember this!"

"Fine, then. I WAS going to introduce you to some of the bigwigs that might show up, but if you're not going to let a little thing like that go, I dunno if I should..."

"Ack! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please, introduce me!"

"Weeell...I suppose I should, seeing as how you're my older sister. Though, can I ask you something? You DO realize that this is a party, right?" The younger sister looked the other over, a bit disapproving of the outfit she saw.

"Hey, I'm wearing my swimsuit under this! That's good enough, since I had to work today!"

A strap fell from the younger sister's shoulder, which she promptly put back up. Looked like both were ready to hit the pool. "...I suppose. Well, let's get on!"

And so the pair did. For about half an hour, they (mostly Rhonda) mingled, stopping once or twice to sample the buffet. Before long, however, the two had made their way close to Dharma. The older sister found herself getting elbowed around that time..."Hey!"

"Shh! You know who that is over there, right?"

"...Hmm." Alda adjusted her glasses, taking a good look at the woman in the black lab coat. "...I've seen her somewhere before..."

"...Seriously, Alda? That's none other than Dharma Heart Payne, aka the woman responsible for our pay checks!"

"R-Really?! You know her?"

"Well...not really. Still, we can head over and say hi." Grabbing her older sister by the hand, Rhonda dragged her over to their ultimate boss, before she had a chance to chicken out. "Hello, Ms. Heart Payne! We've met once before, but in case you forgot, I'm Rhonda Hyde, from public relations." She landed another elbow in her sister's side, signaling that it was her turn."

"N-N-Nice to meet you! I-I'm research department, a-and I work in the Alda Hyde!" The researcher's face turned beet red as she realized that she'd screwed up.

"I think you got that backwards, sis!" The younger sister rolled her eyes, though in a playfully mocking way. "Anyway, she actually got transferred to pheromone testing a couple of months ago! She'll probably be one of the company's top researchers before long, so you two should probably get to know each other a little!"

Dharma greeted the two with a charming smile, hiding completely the torrent of malicious emotions swirling inside her head. "These two just walk up and start chatting with the company president, just like that? And they have the nerve to tell ME who I should get to know?" she thought to herself, listening quietly as Rhonda introduced the two of them. She had indeed forgotten both of them, although she'd actually met both of them before, even if she and Alda hadn't been introduced. "Good to see you again, Rhonda," she lied; Rhonda's face held no particular recollection for her. "And very good to make your acquaintance, Alda. The pheromone testing division of our research department is one of our fastest growing segments as of late; we're making great strides that necessitate the allocation of additional funds and the gathering of fresh talent. You've got your foot into the right part of the company!"

And that part was no lie. With the development of Phero and her many new net-drugs, testing more and more each day with further unethical means, she'd shifted much of the resources of the company towards further research into net and living world pheromones. Right now, Alda was probably only dealing with the pristine tip of the iceburg; if she did prove to be an asset, soon enough she'd be sharing a cozy office with Phillip... knee-deep in the most unabashedly evil research hidden beneath the company's sparkling surface. On that note... "Have you two met Phillip? Phillip Albright here is my head researcher, the coordinator who keeps all of our research departments interlinked and functioning. If Alda here is as ambitious as you say, she's sure to have a lot of questions for him!" Dharma suggested.

Phillip stepped forward, offering his hand. His face was a little red for some reason, like he'd been flustered, possibly by something before they got here. "Good to meet you, Alda. If you are interested in pheromones research, I guarantee you that, with perseverance and... the appropriate values... you can make it far within Heart-Payne Pharmaceuticals," he assured her. Unlike Dharma, he was fairly considerate and thereby took a moment to make sure Rhonda wasn't left aside. "Of course, HP values all of its employees. You've got a great future ahead of you as well, I'm sure, Rhonda." In fact, maybe a little better... Rhonda wasn't nearly as likely to get into the dirty stuff with her career pack, unless she ended up working on the top floor.

"Well, now that we're all acquainted, I'd like to ask you something, if it's not too intrusive. Do you girls have navis? This is a great networking opportunity, for navis and operators alike, and I'd like to introduce you girls to one of our company's greatest new projects... one that's currently under wraps, even throughout the company. I feel like I can trust you girls well enough, though," she chuckled. Of course, she'd shown Phero to a lot of people by now, but explained her to very few. Most of Phero's details would probably still go unexplained to these girls, but her powers would become very apparent, if things went as Dharma expected they would.

Rhonda was actually not at all displeased that Alda was getting most of the attention. Right now, she was trying to be a PR agent for her sister, and if they were focused on her, she was doing a fair job of it. "What can I say? She's been into that kind of stuff almost as long as I can remember. She doesn't just have a degree in biochemistry, she actually loves doing it!"

"Well, when you put it like that, it sounds like I don't have any other interests..." The elder sister accepted Philip's hand, shaking it. "I-It's nice to meet you, too! Um...I-I can't really think of a-anything to ask you r-right now...I'm sorry!" She took a step back, embarrassed at her blatantly going against what the president just said.

"Yeah, she's...a little shy, as you can see." Well, little was understating it just a little...but that's what PR did sometimes. "Now, about our Navi...we actually share one! Alda made it from my NormalNavi, which she MAY have done without my permission!"

"H-Hey, they don't need to know that!" At this rate, every last bit of blood in Alda's body was going to end up in her face. "But, uh, yeah, when I was transferred to pheromone testing, I tried to make a Navi that could freely emit chemicals, since it would save the company a lot of money on testing! I kinda...messed up, though, since I'm not a very good programmer...but he can still be useful in determining potential toxicity of substances, without having to test on living things!" She removed her PET from an inner pocket in her lab coat, and pressed a button to enable a hologram, revealing the fruits of her research...a large purple gas cloud with glowing eyes and a menacing face...with hands, to boot. "Say hi, SmogMan!"

"Hi, everyone!" The toxic Navi waved to the big wigs, clearly not sharing his present operator's shyness.

Dharma smirked inwardly, having more or less expected that a shy girl would have nothing particular to say to her head researcher upon just meeting him. He wasn't a famous figure, after all, and Alda was almost certain to have no clue of the details of his work. Phillip's thick lips (comically thick for his thin face) turned into a sympathetic smile. "That's alright, Alda. I'm sure the president didn't mean to put you on the spot," he laughed, knowing good and well that she did.

"Fortune favors those open to experimentation, dear Rhonda. This fabulous creation of your sister's sounds like it holds a lot of potential," the company president remarked. Of course, it would be a stretch to say that Dharma felt anything like admiration, gratitude, or even understanding for the similarity between Alda's solo work and her own, which had been assisted by leagues of researchers. "After all, Phero was only the tiniest piece of my project; most of the work has come in manufacturing the many experimental compounds that I funnel through her. To give this girl any praise is like applauding the bottle that a fine wine comes packaged in," Dharma mused. All the same, the implications of having another Phero (perhaps an unwitting Phero) at this stage of her research... that's what she'd wanted from this excursion in the first place, and SmogMan seemed like the perfect vessel to that end.

"It's very good to meet you, SmogMan," Phillip interjected, since Dharma had failed to address him entirely.

"Oh, yes. Quite. Of course, we'll have to hold off on meeting the navi at the center of the project I was mentioning earlier. Confidentiality and all that. I'll introduce you to her very shortly, however, as we jack in. I'd recommend using one of the jack in ports located at many locations around the ship; they connect directly to the ship's computers, although functions related to seafaring will of course be locked. It's occurred to me that having my navi meet with your SmogMan, perhaps participate in an outing... learning from each other and growing from that knowledge... represents a great opportunity for Heart Payne Pharmaceuticals," the company president posited.

Phillip nodded along. "Of course, not forgetting the party," he added, raising one finger. "I know you girls may still be looking forward to refreshments, or swimming. I assure you that jack-in and operation procedures while enjoying the festivities are entirely feasible, as you should be able to maintain a jack-in so long as you remain on our ship."

Dharma just barely avoided frowning. She'd have just as well the party be forgotten.

"Actually, that sounds like a great idea!" Dharma's proposal had, unknown to her, instilled the one thing that was guaranteed to override Alda's shyness: scientific curiosity. "I can't wait to see what your Navi can do! Maybe it'll help me with the research I'm doing with SmogMan!"

"It'd be nice to hang out with another Navi for a change. Usually I have so many tracking devices installed that I can hardly move..." The gaseous Navi looked over his hands, as though they were completely covered in things that only he could see.

"Sorry...but I keep telling you to tell me if it starts to affect your processing speed, and you never say anything!"

"...Well, it was a pleasure bumping into you, Miss Heart Payne. If you'll excuse me, I've been dying to get in a little swimming!" With that, Rhonda's dress fell to the floor, revealing a somewhat unrevealing purple bikini. Every aspect both up top and down low was completely covered, and was loose enough to leave specifics to the imagination...except for the middle of the top, which showed more or less every last bit of her sizable cleavage. She picked her usual wear up, and made her way for the pool.

"...Oh, that's right! I wanted to work on my tan while I was here!" One could almost hear everyone within eyeshot going 'What tan?', considering the elder sister was quite pale. She clearly didn't go outside unless necessary. "Um, it was nice meeting you, Miss Heart Payne! You too, Mr. Albright!" With that, Alda left the two higher ups to their own devices, and headed for a poolside lounge chair. "...Um...now that I'm here, I'm a little nervous about being seen in my new swimsuit..."

"Don't! You look great in it! Trust me, you look much better than your high school swimsuit you've always worn!"

"Okay, I guess it's too late to chicken out...I mean, I already ditched the president of the company to do this..." After a couple of deep breaths, she took off her lab coat, placing it over the back of the chair she had chosen. Her skirt and shirt were close behind, revealing a rather modest lime green bikini, with a halter top style top. "You know, I really do like this! Not too revealing, but it fits perfectly in all the right places!"

"Yep, you said that at the store, too!" SmogMan's hologram reappeared from the PET, now lying on a small table next to Alda's chair. "You remembered to bring the sunblock, right?"

"Yep!" She pulled out a bottle from one of her coat's many pockets, producing the item in question. "I'll look like a tomato if I don't put on any of this!" With that, she poured some of the white, creamy liquid onto her hand, and started to rub it all over her body. "Take this, UV rays!"

"Hey, Alda!" The younger sister snatched the bottle from the table, squirted some sunblock onto her own hands, and abruptly started to rub it over her sister's back. "You'll need this...otherwise you'll look like a tomato in a couple of hours!"

"Hee hee! Tell me about it!"

"...There you go! Now you can hang out all day without getting burnt! Say, is this the water resistant stuff?"

"I think so. Why?"

"Because I forgot to bring mine!" Without another word, Rhonda started using the bottle to cover herself up. "Can you get my back, Alda?"

"Sure!" La-dee-dah...and so it was done. As she wrapped up, however, another partygoer inadvertently pushed the elder sister from behind, though they failed to say a word about it to her. "Hey! That jerk! You can at least apologize!"

For reasons that were painfully obvious to anyone looking at them, Rhonda suddenly appeared a bit flustered. "Hey, sis?"

"Yeah?"

"Think you could, uh, move your hand?"

"Huh? What do you-eep!" Alda followed the trail of her arm, as it had slipped forward due to the combination of outward force and slippery sunblock, causing her hand to somehow slip into Rhonda's top, and made it look as though she had grabbed her breast. This didn't last long upon realization, of course, as the hand found itself behind its owner's back instantly. "Ohmygawd, sorry sorry sorry sorry! It must've been when that guy bumped into me, my hand slipped forward without me noticing..."

"No biggie, I know it was an accident. I mean, it's a lot better than getting groped because some perv can't keep their hands where they belong! Can you believe that about a month ago, I asked someone to do that for me, and they started groping my butt?"

"...Really? Wow, I hope you called the cops on that guy!"

"That's the weird part. I asked a woman just to make sure something like that DIDN'T happen."

"Oh...I'd sympathize, but...well, I don't think I can really relate..." Despite being sisters, it wasn't very obvious via their body types alone. Rhonda was thin, but was curvaceous, and was fairly large at the chest and hip areas. Alda, by contrast, was just plain thin; she was about as skinny as a person could possibly be without looking malnourished, and she'd probably look even thinner if she had been completely flat, a fate that she somehow avoided. "Well, anyway, you wanted to go swimming, so go swim! I'll stay here and jack SmogMan into the Net, like Miss Heart Payne said."

"All right, but don't hog him all to yourself! If I show up again and want to operate him, you give him to me, understand?"

"Yep! That's what we agreed on earlier!"

"Good! Oh, and maybe you should take your glasses off. I bet if you did, you couldn't pry yourself from the men here with jaws of life!" Rhonda ran off without waiting for a rebuttal. She was kidding, of course, since her sister was more or less blind without them.

"Yeah, because it's real fun to look at the world in blobs!" Alda proceeded to blow a raspberry at her younger sister, before looking around. "Hmm...hey, SmogMan? Think you can scan for any nearby jack-in ports? I don't see any..."

"Scanning now!...Huh, go figure. Who would've guessed there was one there?"

"Did I miss an obvious one?"

"Look closely at the side of the table." A check would reveal that, while well-hidden, there was a port directly facing the relaxing biochemist. "See it? Turns out the table's hiding a small server that connects to the ship's cyberworld!"

"Wow...that's pretty fancy!" She wasn't really surprised, per se, given the yacht's luxurious appearance, but it was still pretty crazy to her that even the lounge tables were connected to the internet. "So, are you ready to meet that top secret project?"

"Can't wait! Though, Miss Heart Payne called that Navi a her, didn't she? I wonder what she looks like..."

Alda stifled an amused smirk, which, by contractual obligation, would be accompanied by 'And exactly what would you do with her if she was really cute?'. After all, SmogMan was basically just a sphere surrounded by a gas cloud. Though, his gas density could change, she supposed, and at the very least, if it was dense enough, he could create a sensation like touching something...

"...Earth to Alda! Are you just going to sit there, lost in thought, or are we going to jack in?"

"Oh, sorry! I was just thinking about something..." Without giving her Navi a chance to ask for her to elaborate, the older sister grabbed her PET and pointed it at the concealed port. "Let's go! Jack in! SmogMan, Execute!"

"Oh, I'm certain we'll both learn a lot!" Dharma agreed, pressing her hands together in a flawless display of fakely empathetic enthusiasm. Before she could get anything else off, however, it became apparent that Phillip had, of course, ruined her plan or already. The two girls both took him up on his offer and scampered off in their bikinis, leaving the president to enjoy her drink. Dharma continued to watch with a misleading smile while Phillip pulled out his handkerchief and began coughing into it as quietly as he could manage.

"Oh, shut up, Phillip," she whispered through her teeth. "What was that all about? You understand that my plan works much better if I remain with the operators, don't you?"

"Your navi will be joining then, won't she? Besides, there's no reason you can't swim or tan."

She nodded, but not in an agreement. More of a kind impatient, "well yes, NOW I have to do it" gesture. "I'm just going to have to go down there and mingle. I can't afford to be too far away once the action starts, in case I have to perform damage control. I perform a lot of damage control for this company," she sighed, then promptly shrugged off her labcoat onto the chair. Phillip turned to face her idly, then promptly hunched over the nearest table and fell into a coughing fit. "Hm hm, you're such a feeble man. To think that you'd be worked up over simple swimwear," she chuckled with a haughty smirk.

"Simple" was an unfair and unfitting term for what she'd chosen to wear. In fact, "bikini" was kind of a stretch. The outfit consisted of a black, one-piece sling, accented by a silver belt intended only for fashion at the waist, which the bottom attached to. The top gripped the shoulders and breasts, then converged at the middle point of the belt. The front buckle was, of course, a large, silver heart shape. It would be interesting to see what would happen if just that one buckle came loose... "Madam President," the head researcher choked between coughs. "Why arm you-? Blurkhurkhuurk-!"

Dharma's face gradually turned red as she realized that other party guests were staring and whispering too now. "I did my research and discovered that this sort of thing is well suited for inducing the symptoms of arousal we associate with love," she defended. "It's extra research for Phero's testing!"

"Yes, but it's hukhuuuuuk-!" he coughed, then flattened his palm against the table, wretching forward like he was about to lose his breakfast. "It's almost indecent for public. And Phero already has swimwear!'

"Optimization, Phillip! That's what separates the ever-improving from the lazy chaff!" she retorted, louder than she meant to. She was giving the crowd more of an eye-full of both her personality and her flesh than she would usually consider prudent.

"Look, it's a lot less than anyone else is wearing," Phillip whispered. "You should go change..."

"The mission continues as planned," she silenced him with a hissy whisper. The machinations of evil that were Dharma's face muscles set into motion as she worked to stop blushing, regain her hostess smile, and stop from screaming. With it properly reset, she walked to deck as casually as she could. Her body had that sweet-spot figure that most models went for: lean most everywhere with just the right oomph here and there to make her stand out as a woman. Right now, the various oomphs were not as well secured as they ought to be, making her a spectacle to see moving. From the side, she looked more or less naked.

She reached Alda and took a seat in the reclining pool chair next to her, garnering more whispers and gossip from the crowd. "I wouldn't mind getting a tan while I operate either," she smiled; it seemed like a reasonable statement, as she was only saved from being as white as Alda due to her mixed Electopian/Netopian heritage. She lay down on her back, summoning all the courage and strength of motivation and purpose that she could manage to avoid acknowledging the buzz of the crowd. "I'm jacking Phero in right now to meet SmogMan. She will pay a visit to the GNA board."

Dharma had apparently never done this tanning thing before, because she'd entirely neglected to apply even a drop of sunscreen. The back of the outfit was easily as distracting as the front; perhaps Dharma didn't even realize how exposed her buttocks were to everyone at the moment. She focused her attention to banding her long hair into a ponytail, since it was very long and unsuited for tanning, securing it with a silver, heart-shaped clip. "The research I do fir my company... at this point, I really deserve to control the world."

((Jacking in Phero))

Once SmogMan was all nice and jacked in, Alda laid back in her chair, completely content to just lay around and soak up some badly needed sun. She took off her glasses, since there was nothing she needed to see...and of course, as soon as she did that, she could hear whispering about something. ...They could see the president's what? At first she paid it no heed, since there was absolutely no way it could be true. But it didn't quiet down. In fact, if anything, it was getting louder. Reluctantly, she donned her glasses once more, so she could see exactly what was getting all this attention...at least, as more than a blob.

As she turned her head, the scientist ended up getting an eyeful of the side of Dharma's left breast. She desperately tried to look for some sort of clothing on her employer, and luckily found it...when she noticed that there was a black strap between her chest and...whatever that was supposed to be. A heart shaped belt buckle, maybe? While others were gossiping about it, Alda remained quiet, in part because she was still fairly new, and didn't want to do anything that might even remotely lead to getting sacked, in part because the person in question was right next to her, and, perhaps the largest part of it all, Dharma's...outfit was making her feel a growing inadequacy about her body. First her sister, and now the president of the company...what, did she have the smallest breasts in the entire company? And she wasn't even completely flat, either...

However, she also shouldn't be completely silent, which she was being right now. "That's...really quite a bikini you have!" The back wasn't any less revealing, giving anyone who looked a rather candid view of the other woman's behind. Including Alda, much to her dismay. Inadequacy level rising..."Oh, so your Navi's named Phero, Miss Heart Payne? I think that's a cute name!" She gave Dharma a small smile, though filled with a sincerity that the recipient would most likely never know. For some reason, it felt a little easier to talk to her now, possibly because it was completely impossible to take her office of company president seriously when she had on nothing but a skimpy sling bikini. "The GNA board? Wow, so even someone as high up the ladder as you takes those missions? That's pretty cool!" By now, she was back in full on reclining mode, since it was even easier to talk to Dharma when she could just look up at the sky when she did it...

Dharma felt fairly sure that her face must be hidden, given that she was facing forward towards the raised deck of the ship, so she allowed herself a smirk. "Why thank you, Alda. She will be pleased to hear you say that," Dharma responded. "Well of course she's cute... she was scientifically engineered to be the perfect love sponge. She'd better be cute," the president thought to herself.

She turned her head to were Alda slightly, her pink, gem ear rings twinkling in the sunlight along with the motion. "For the purposes if my project, it is necessary to test Phero and her chemicals in a range of cases that 'ordinary' navis would find themselves in. By taking GNA missions, I can find new test grounds for my research and occasionally build business connections," she explained with an idle smile. She wanted to find more ways to torment and tease Alda, but somehow, it felt like she was accomplishing her goal without even trying...

Phillip was unable to stop staring at Dharma for two reasons: 1) because it was so uncanny and surreal to see the former president's daughter, the new president, lying around mostly naked. 2) Because he realized she hadn't put on any suncscreen. With a hybrid sigh/cough, he took up a nearby bottle and went to her.

...But the closer he came, the worse the cough became, until he suddenly realized that I've of two things would happen when he got to Dharma: he would cough all over her or he would die (maybe both). He went to th pool's edge instead and tried to discreetly call on Rhonda. "Sorry to impose, but the president seems to have forgotten to put on any sun lotion. Do you think-?" be started, then began coughing into his handkerchief again. Rhonda's swimsuit was sensible, but that didn't mean she wasn't dripping wet and in possession of breasts that beat out Dharma's by a considerable degree. "Ahem, do you think you or your sister might be willing to coat her so she doesn't burn?"

"Oh, that makes sense! It's a lot cheaper to program compounds than actually make them in the real world. That's actually why I made SmogMan! He wasn't a total success, though...hey, maybe you could give me some programming tips! With some work, he could become a one-Navi lab!" Alda's scientific curiosity struck again, now filling her head with SmogMan's code...though, once she looked over at who she was talking to again, it was quickly replaced by sheer envy for Dharma's body. It just killed her that she could make something that ridiculous work...

Fortunately for Philip, Rhonda was presently doing a dead man's float near the edge, which made things very easy for her to hear. "Sure!" With just that, she swam over to a nearby ladder and climbed out, sopping wet as expected. Much of the previous looseness of her bikini vanished with submersion, making it rather clear as to her exact proportions, though it at least wasn't exposing anything underneath. "Just let me dry off, and I'll go do it!"

A couple of minuts later, a significantly drier Rhonda popped over to her older sister, now wearing a pink towel around her hips. She whispered into Alda's ear, who silently nodded, and hopped up out of her chair. Each one grabbed some lotion, put it over their hands, and each walked over to one side of the company president. "Don't move for a minute, Miss Heart Payne!" With that apparently being sufficient warning, Dharma's shoulders found themselved being rubbed on, in the name of sunburn prevention. Her back and sides received similar treatment, since they were easy enough to get to. The younger sister prepared to move on, before looking up and noticing her sibling was hesitating. "Um, I..."

Rhonda sighed, somehow not surprised that Alda was chickening out at this exact moment. "Come on, we're all adults here! Sometimes I really have to wonder who's the older sister here..." With that, and without hesitation, she began to rub sunblock over the buttocks of a person capable of firing her with a snap of her fingers. It was pretty clear that some people were starting to stare at the odd scene, but she soldiered on. It'd be more embarrassing later on if the president couldn't even sit down because she was negligent, after all. As she continued down to her legs, her sister joined in again, preventing UV-based agony from happening. "All right, Miss Heart Payne, I think you can handle your front! I'm heading back to the pool!...Oh, Alda? You guys done anything with SmogMan yet?"

"Not yet...we're gonna do a mission with Miss Heart Payne and her Navi! The GNA hasn't responded, though..."

"Oh. Okay, just wondering! See ya later!" With that, the younger sister walked off, to get in some more water time.

"I'm leaving the sunblock right next to you, for when you want to turn around, Miss Heart Payne!" After setting the bottle down right where Dharma could easily reach for it on the floor, Alda returned to her seat and stretched, though slightly freaked out at how easily her sister had rubbed on another woman's butt. Sure, she was a lot looser around people than her, but to just casually do that, and to the company president, no less...

Dharma continued to smile in a dreamy way, nodding slowly. She thought the "one man" part sounded pretty good... only she was picturing it a little more like literally one woman: herself. She would certainly not object to acquiring whatever skills Alda could offer on the side, though.

Of course, there was only a short time for her to reflect upon this with smug satisfaction; before she understood what was happening, she was accosted by the two sisters simultaneously. She cried out girlishly in a mixture of surprise and outrage, her whole body suddenly becoming stiff and goose-bumpy. "What do you two think you're doing-?!" she complained, much snapper than she meant to be. Cutting off that thought, Rhonda began buttering up Dharma's bottom with the lotion. She just stared forward in shock as her blood rushed to her face.

Dharma had never been spanked before in her life. She had never been in a romantic relationship before. She had never been in a conga line. She had never been on a football team. All of this amounted to the fact that Dharma was the only human being alive who had ever touched her butt before and had planned to keep it that way, presumably for her entire life. In an instant, all of that fortune and planning was undone.

"You girls... what could possibly have possessed you...? Phillip!" she half-scowled,half-explained. "Philliiiip!"

At first it seemed likely that she was yelling in rage at her head researcher's decision to send the girls over and lotion her up. Looking over, however, it became apparent it was something else: the researcher had fallen into a coughing fit unlike any of the researchers had ever seen, presumably as a result of watching the girls apply sunblock to the president. He teeterer at the edge of the pool, clutching his chest... then fell in, creating a big splash as his body fully submerged.

"For the love of medicine, Phillip," she groaned, then ran for the pool. She nearly stopped ti give him a fee verbal slanders for wasting her time, then sighed, realizing everyone must still be watching. She dipped in slowly, then submerged herself to rescue him.

Thankfully, the head researcher was a pretty scrawny guy; she fished him out quickly enough and hoisted him roughly out of the water and onto poolside. He was drenched and still fully clothed, including his shoes and tie, but not his glasses. His big lips were a little blue and water streamed from his open mouth as he continued coughing. The president flipped her luxurious, dark hair, which was now held in a messy, matted ponytail that might make a decent whip. "Can anyone help him out? I'm not familiar with CPR," she exclaimed, doing her best to look worried and not just frustrated beyond belief. It was also a bluff; she was perfectly capable of CPR as part of he medical training, but she didn't want to use it.

She climbed back out of the pool, her body and black swimsuit shimmering with moisture. Sighing, she feared that nobody else would have the experience and went over to Phillip herself. She leaned over him, brushed her hair back with one palm, closed her eyes...

... and was slapped in the face as Phillip trashed his arms mindlessly. "Oh, you're in for it now...!" she swore under her breath, leaning backwards on her palms with her legs akimbo.
As if taking advantage of the opening, the researcher's skinny, long fingers grasped around and inside her belt buckle like an eagle's talons, stretching the piece away from her body. "Ah! Somebody help!" she cried out, this time earnestly. On a lesser note, she might lose her head researcher. More importantly, he was likely to take her suit with him...

Alda glanced over at Dharma, noting that her face was a bit on the red side. She didn't really blame her, either, considering what her sister had just done with no warning. "Um, I'm sorry about what Rhonda did...we really should've asked first. But, it won't do if our company president gets a massive sunburn, especially down there! Believe me, I-"

Before she could continue, the researcher found herself interrupted by without a doubt the worst coughing fit she had ever heard. She looked over at Philip, giving him a questioning look. "...Is he okay? That sounds really bad...ahh!" Without hesitation, she ran over with Dharma to the edge of the pool...or at least tried to. As it turned out, biochemists were not particularly known for their physical prowess, and so by the time she got there, the head honcho was already pulling her lackey out of the water. "Haa...haa...deep breaths...Alda...haa..." And she somehow still ended up winded from it. Not her finest moment.

"...Um, actually, I know CPR..." Apparently Alda wasn't heard, however, as Dharma ended up trying to do the deed herself, even though she had claimed otherwise. Maybe she just really didn't want to do it? It sorta made sense, though; if he came to with the company president in that outfit on top of him, he'd probably start hacking up blood or something.

And if he didn't then, she might make him do it, as he unconsciously smacked her and grabbed the president's belt. If she hadn't been so aghast at the sight, the older sister would've screamed right there, right then. Instead, she silently grabbed his hand, and, finger by finger, removed them from the belt of the person who basically had his life in her hands. As the last finger was taken out, however, he instinctively smacked Alda's hand back, with surprising force. Though surprised, she wasn't really mad at him, seeing as how he literally couldn't control his own actions.

...Then she realized just where he had smacked it. The conscious researcher slowly and dreadfully looked over at her hand...which was now underneath the strap, and now covering Dharma's right breast. She didn't know how it happened, but she knew what she was going to do. Slowly but surely, so as not to draw attention to it, Alda pulled the strap out slightly, and slid her hand out, before gently returning the thin piece of cloth to its appointed body. Suffice it to say, the unwilling grabber's face was beet red, and on the verge of tears. "I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, sorry, Miss Heart Payne! He just hit my hand, and I was too surprised to stop it, and, and, I don't even know how it got under the strap, and...I'm sorry!!! Sniff..." She struggled to resist crying as she looked up at the sky, scowling. "If I want to touch someone's breasts, I have my own, you know!" And adding insult to injury, both cases involved women with a larger bust than herself.

"Ahh, this is nice! I wish I had a pool...too bad PR doesn't make a ton of money..." As all of that was going on, Rhonda was gently backstroking her way across the pool, blissfully unaware of her sister's antics. But, it wasn't meant to be for long, as out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the scene going on. "Oh, for the love of...now what's she gotten herself into?" The purple haired woman swam over to a ladder near the incident, and climbed out, with a bit of effort. "What happened?"

"He was coughing really bad, then he fell in the pool! Miss Heart Payne got him out, but then he spazzed out on us, so we can't give him CPR or anything!"

"Oh, I see." The younger sister crouched down, next to Philip...and promptly backhanded him as though it was perfectly natural to do so.

Alda was a bit less accepting of it, however. "W-What the hell was that about?!"

"Well, if he spazzed out, it means his brain's still functioning just fine, I think. So, I gave him a nice smack to reset him, and maybe even bring him to. "

"...You realize he's a person, not an alarm clock, right...?"

Dharma glanced down at her breast, then back to Alda, then back to Phillip. A few moments ago, she'd had someone rubbing on her butt; now, she had someone feeling up her boob (underneath the suit, no less). Her face went red, both from anger and from the unfamiliar sensation, as Alda backed up and began apologizing to an evil entity with neither the empathy nor the reasoning capability to understand her.

in the mean time, Rhonda hopped on the task of curing Phillip with an utterly unsexy slap (Phillip had already wasted two CPR opportunities). He spat out a throat-full of water onto the deck, then managed a smile. "I'm saved! Thank you-!" he started, only to receive a foot in the face.

Dharma had kicked him in the head once and promptly continued kicking him in the face three times more before he gained enough sense to block the fourth one with his flailing hands. "Oh, thank goodness you've come back to your senses!" Dharma gasped in a voice of fake concern, tilting her eyebrows up into sympathetic rows. "Poor, poor Phillip! I was worried we had lost you!" The head researcher knew better than to respond and kept quiet. "Please, go change and lie down. I will take care of the party."

The head researcher nodded, then staggered away, clutching his head.

"That aside, I like the way you girls think. You don't hesitate," she congratulated Alda and Rhonda; apparently she had enough anger towards Phillip to diffuse any blame from Alda. "There is a critical difference between caution and needless hesitation, one that some researchers fumble with. Hesitation is born of doubt, and as researchers, we shall have no doubts about the worthiness of our goals!" she announced dramatically; someone in the audience started clapping and others joined in. She seemed to have forgotten that Rhonda was not actually a researcher.

The first one who'd started clapping made her way to the front, a pretty girl of about the same age as Dharma. She was dressed in a white bikini with a gold belt (belted bikinis must be fashionable; it was a two piece and fairly showy and yet infinitely more decent than the president's. Her hair was blond and curled up at the ends like she had begun to let it grow out longer than she should. "The head researcher is injured, so I will assume those duties, as well as those of personal attendant," she announced, pressing one hand to her chest. "Hello, fellow researchers! I am Agnis Agnu. What a pleasure to meet the two of you!"

"These two are sisters: Alda and Rhonda. They have very promising futures in Heart Payne's business family, although I must confess we only recently became well acquainted," the president introduced her coworkers. Something about the introduction must have offended the other girl, because a twitch rose into her smile and her face reddened.

Unprompted, she continued, now facing Alda. "The Agnu family have been friends of the Heart-Paynes for decades upon decades! We owe so much to each other-" she started, keeping up her same haughty smile even as Dharma yawned and checked her nails. "We... Rrrrrrgh!"

The girl's blood pressure looked like it was going up so high, she might collapse and fall into the pool herself. The funny mental image began to develop: Dharma killing her head researchers one by one, every time a new candidate eager to take the place of her last. "That is an interesting swimsuit you have, Madam President! So different from your usual affair! And doesn't it being out well your true evilness-!" the girl battered, falling to flattery. Before she could get any further, the president discreetly (but with amazing force) shoved her into the pool.

"As you can see, Agnis is a bit looney... I know! Alda, how would you like to be my stand-in head researcher until the party concludes and Phillip gets back on his very?" Dharma inquired. From the pool, a churtled gasp sounded, like someone drawing water into their lungs... and up floated the seemingly dead body of the late Agnis Agnu. If someone didn't save her, Agnis might be another casualty.

The sisters looked at each other as Dharma started to kick her previously half-dead lackey, but collectively decided that it was just her way of making sure he was okay. Alda proceeded to beam at receiving praise from the president herself, while Rhonda smiled, and internally struggled over whether or not to point out she was actually in public relations. In the end, she chose to just accept the compliment, however.

With that, a new face emerged, who appeared much more suited for the party than Philip. She introduced herself, though before either sibling could respond, their mutual boss handled their own intros. Alda just smiled, but Rhonda couldn't help but notice that something seemed...off about this Agnis. She couldn't figure out why, but something was seriously stressing her out, even though the only thing that could remotely bring in stress in the area was Dharma's swimsuit, and it didn't quite seem like that was the problem.

Before the non-researcher could think about it anymore, however, the new acquaintance fell in, presumably from becoming faint after overstressing herself. Curiously, even though she went after her first head researcher, the president didn't so much as flinch at the second time someone fell in the pool. Luckily for the big wig, a purple flash hit the water, as Rhonda dove in to rescue her. She wasn't quite quick enough to avoid the victim taking in a lungful of water, but not much longer than that, Agnis was back in the world above water, lying on her back. Unfortunately, while a good swimmer, she wasn't the right sister for the job at this point. "Alda, you're the CPR expert here...do it!"

"R-Right! I'd love to, Miss Heart Payne, but first I gotta make sure she's okay!" Without delay, Alda found herself getting down on her knees, and placing her ear on the other woman's chest to check for breathing. ...If someone had told her, without context, that she'd come in contact with three women's breasts at this party, she probably would've just stayed home...

"Attention, everyone!" As the resuscitation went on as needed, the purple haired sister put her hands next to her mouth, and shouted to get everyone's attention. "Please be extra careful around the pool! We've already had two people fall in, and we don't need a third to happen and ruin this wonderful party!"

Thankfully, once she'd been fished out, it didn't look like Agnis had gone into cardiac arrest at all; her breathing was still going strong. Very strongly, in fact. The scariest thing was that her face had turned incredibly red, her eyes were squinted in some sort of mixture of pain and anger, and her teeth were clenched. She gasped hard, exhaling air and water, and then regained the same smile with which she'd fallen in. "Aha! Ha ha! Madam President, how clumsy of me! I've been clumsy ever since I was a child, haven't I? We grew up together, you know!" she informed Alda, still looking up into her eyes from a position lying down.

Dharma frowned briefly, before correcting herself. She found the whole subject very distasteful, and furthermore, Agnis being neither dead nor dying meant that she could not be replaced as head researcher. She thought Alda seemed like a much nicer fit for the job... for starters, she was less likely to spout out facts about how evil Dharma was in public. Also good was that she seemed a little wimpy. Dharma liked having subjugates that were a little wimpy. After all, an awful lot of rulers throughout history had really sunk themselves by relying too heavily on strong supporters. She figured mixing up that formula couldn't hurt. Plus, Alda's sister seemed eager to help her, so it was practically like getting two henchmen for the price of one.

And boy, did she hate Agnis. "Thank goodness you're alright!" Dharma sighed with an utter void of sincerity. "Still, let's let Alda here take over the festivities for today and sub as head researcher. She seems fairly well-versed in techniques a pool party host ought to know, after all, and also has a brilliant mind for research that I'll be interested in probing further."

As the girl in the white swimsuit rose back up, regaining her composure as if she'd never fallen in and started dying, she seemed to realize that it was a lot easier to get her kicks bragging and reminiscing to Alda and Rhonda than it would be to get the president to acknowledge her. "SO TRUE, Madam President! And I am behind the decision 100%! Thank you for your concern, girls, but I'm alright now. Even better, now that I am in your capable hands! And with the party overseen by us four, each of us so bright, it's sure to go over without a hitch!" Agnis responded. She'd again given herself a promotion to equal status with the others. "Why, I actually organize a lot for the president! Did you know that, next to Phillip, I'm the next in line for head researcher? Because he's usually directly involved with Dharma, this means that I'm leading the entire rest of the research team! We thrive under my direct instruction~"

Dharma lifted one finger and opened her mouth, wanting to debunk the rumors, but then realized she was more likely to let her anger show if she did. Might as well let Agnis have her five minutes of fame; chances were, none of the players in this conversation would ever get close enough to her for her to ever put any real confidence in them.

"Do you have any questions for me, girls?" Agnis asked, flashing her bright eyes at both of them and giving a winning smile. "I'll take you under my wing and teach you anything you want to know about Heart-Payne Pharmaceuticals! I can teach you about the best ways to seek promotion inside our company, or more practical information, like how to best help the company! Or maybe you want to know how to make your coworkers like you?" she asked, her hair flicking back and forth as she switched focus between the two girls. Dharma rolled her eyes, as if to imply that Agnis was the worst person to go to if you want to learn to be liked. "Oh! It's a little dirty, but I can teach you about my top secret love-!"

"Agnis!" Dharma barked sharply, causing the second-to-head researcher to jump and yelp. Dharma softened down and lowered her eyebrows. "The sisters don't want to hear anything about dirty, secret love techniques. My gosh, try to have some class," she sighed, pressing four fingers to her forehead as if staving off a headache. The statement was a little silly, given her outfit.

The young Ms. Agnu looked confused for a moment, then laughed heartily and blushed. "Ooooh, Madam President! You're so shrewd~" she chuckled, wagging one finger to indicate to the president that she'd caught on. "Alright, I'll save that talk for another time!"

Alda let out a nice big sigh of relief as she stood up. After all, even if it was CPR, going mouth to mouth with another woman was just not her thing. She proceeded to stand there and quietly listen to the other two talking...wait, two? What was Rhonda doing? Her eyes darted around, trying to locate her younger sister...nope, not there...or there...oh hey, that guy was cute. She wouldn't mind doing some lab tests with him...urk, not the time for that! Searching, searching...nope, no purple hair in sight. Yep, she was toast.

Returning to the conversation she was technically a part of, the researcher only caught the tail end of what Dharma and Agnis were discussing...which meant she only heard the part about dirty, secret love techniques. Admittedly, she was a little curious about exactly what those techniques were...not like she got a lot of chances to put those kinds of things to practice anyway, though. "Um, thanks, but, I d-don't have a boyfriend!" Oh please, oh please oh please let that be relevant to the conversation she skipped most of looking for her sister...

"I'm back!" The elder sister immediately relaxed upon hearing those words, as Rhonda popped back in, seemingly from nowhere. "Sorry about that, I just bumped into a gentleman that happened to be the boss of the boss of my boss. It's always good to have a big network when you're in PR, even inside the company you work for, you know! So, what'd I miss?" She leaned on Alda a bit, who remained completely silent, what with her being entirely unqualified to answer the question.

"No boyfriend? What a shame! Well, you're a researcher for Heart Payne Pharmaceuticals now! The prestige and wealth will send boys flocking!" Agnu announced proudly, pressing one hand to her wet bikini top. "Or girls, if you're into that. I can't imagine the number of heart-throbs you entertain, Madam President!"

Dharma's eyebrows tensed for a moment; about the only conceptual heart-throbs she was thinking about were Agnis Agnu's and how she would love to stop them by ripping the heart out of her chest. She also didn't particularly want to talk about how she had never been in a relationship in front of her employees. "Best not to discuss such things, even in familiar company," she answered, smiling and tilting her head aside cryptically.

"Oh, hello!" Agnis greeted Rhonda again, unpreturbed by her inability to get anything out of Dharma. "We were just discussing dirty, filthy romance! Do you have yourself somebody?" she inquired brazenly. She briefly attempted to lean on Dharma as familiarly as Rhonda had her sister, only to nearly go toppling into a waiter carrying a tray of cocktail weiners. The president had, of course, immediately pulled away, leaving her unsupported. "Ha ha! Excuse me, I must be a little tipsy!" Waterlogged was more like it. "So tell me about your favorite dirty sex stories! I'll tell you one if you tell me one!"

"Well, it'd be nice to have one for a change..." Alda sighed, what with being nearly as unqualified to discuss dirty, filthy romance as Dharma. Well, at least her sister knew her fair share...

"Ah, nah, I don't have one right now. Wouldn't mind if I did, though!" Both sisters watched Agnis's attempt to mimic them, though only the one with purple found something slightly off with it...eh, probably just her imagination. "Heh, a dirty story, huh? I've got a few...but I think I'll go with the one that happened during a business tri-"

"Oh god Rhonda, not that one! Not in front of the president!"

"Why not? We're all adults here, and in the end it actually helped the company out."

"But...oh, fine..."

"All right, it was on a trip to Netopia last summer, where I was part of a team to push for a certain big contract. You know the one. I get there, and I notice that the boardroom I'm going to make a presentation in is, to a man, well, men. And I had been told to dress casually that day, so I was wearing a sun dress instead of business attire. So, to add some sex appeal to the presentation, I ducked in a bathroom a little bit beforehand, and took off my bra and panties, so they'd get to look at perfect curves, and since the numbers didn't really favor us, I was hoping they'd be a little too enticed at my figure to stare too hard at the figures, as it were. But, well..." Rhonda looked a bit nervously off to the side, clearly getting to the embarrassing part for her. "Turned out that the air conditioning for the entire floor was broken, and it just so happened to be hitting record highs, AND we couldn't get relocated or rescheduled. So, there I was, in a stuffy, windowless room that was probably in the triple digits when I started, and wearing nothing on my body but a dress, sandals, and a smile. And it didn't take too long until the dress was a formality. I was sweating so hard that my dress was basically completely clinging to me. You could see everything. At one point I seriously considered just taking off my dress, to see if anyone even cared, but I just couldn't risk it. But I did drop my pointer on purpose at one point, so everyone there could look away from the data for a second and focus on my ass. Pretty sure some of them took pictures, too. And after all that, everyone left, completely stunned, probably stunned into silence from heatstroke and the fact they I presented them with a LOT more than they bargained for...when the CEO closes the door. Unlike most of the bored, he was actually pretty hot himself. Mid 30s, looked like he exercised a lot...he locked the door, and basically gave me an ultimatum. Do him, and get the contract, or don't, and don't. Naturally, my dress is down to my ankles at this point..."

The tale continued, as Rhonda told everyone, in rather graphic detail, about what went down on that conference room's table. And chairs. And floor. "And, to this day, I hear that company's entire board has a sun dress fetish! Although, that CEO tried to weasel his way out of the unwritten agreement...but I had my PET record the whole...thing between me and him, so let's just say that I 'convinced' him that it was best for everyone to pick Heart-Payne!"

Alda's face was beet red, having heard much more about her sister's anatomy in that story than she ever wanted to hear. Also, the way she so casually treated extorting the head of a corporation. "Yeah, and I can actually corroborate it, too. I went with her, as part of an unrelated project. And since I was off that day, I came with her. And guess who was in the hallway, mortified at the soft moaning coming through the wall, with her sister's bra and panties tucked away in her lab coat? Granted, I'd taken it off well before that point, so sweat wasn't making her stuff show, but still..."