Mystic Mansion

The Mr. Prog's expression didn't change a bit as Sleuth slightly ranted about the situation. The benefits/curses of not having detailed facial expressions programmed. "No, you're definitely here to find a way to get rid of the ghosts...I'm just saying that simply finding them isn't going to get rid of them. There has to be some way to do it, but I'm just a caretaker Mr. Prog, not a genius. And that's where you come in. I'm hoping an honest to goodness detective like yourself can figure things out. I'm sorry I haven't been much help, but I'm just not that bright..." While his expression didn't change, his slumping appearance made it pretty obvious he was feeling a bit down at that.

But suddenly, he straightened up, and even let out a small hop. "But, that's why I'm deferring the brainwork to you. You were picked for this because you're a smart Navi, so I have total faith you can solve this mystery! Yep, I'm deleting all doubt from my mind!...And, done! There's definitely a 100% chance you'll come through!"
After having her mission reaffirmed to her, Sleuth felt relieved that Mr. Prog wasn't the judgmental type, seeing as she'd been dragging her feet figuring out the exorcism practice, let alone carrying it out. "That makes sense. That is the sort of thing you'd call on a detective for, now isn't it?" she chuckled, although she recalled that the mission hadn't been looking for her specifically. In actuality, while a detective should service in this situation, they weren't exactly known for resolving the supernatural. A spiritualist or shaman of some kind would be ideal for this situation... If only her name was Exorcist and not Sleuth. "Thank you for placing your trust in me. I am nothing if not persistent! We'll keep cracking away at this until the solution presents itself. All we can do now is continue to look for clues and ponder those that we have."

"You could also check some more of those armors to see if the ghost comes out!" Jocelyn pointed out, perhaps simply thinking that it was sloppy to check only the first four armors in an eight armor room... but more likely just pointing out the obvious, as was her way.

"True. Mr. Prog, from now on, I shall be very, very thorough. While locating the ghost may not be integral to our mission, which is to devise a way to exorcise said ghost, I would be remiss in my duties if I left any spot unchecked for helpful clues. This, because your master has proven himself quite willing to place secrets for us in the most curious of locations. We are going to need every hint we can get if we want to devise the correct method to exorcise the ghosts. So, without further ado, let's see what's behind Knight Number 5," the navi concluded, walking quickly to the next armor. "So what do we know about these ghosts? We know that they each have their own behaviors when it comes to occupying spots in this manor. We know that they each bear the distinct appearance of a virus. We lack several very important pieces of knowledge. Why do they each choose to inhabit this building in that manner: one virus per room and staying consistently to that room? If they are indeed restless spirits, what do they require to put their spirits to rest? Therein lies one of the key difficulties of this mystery: ghosts, and for that matter, viruses, are largely unknown territory, even in this day and age. For all we know, there is no presently available methodology to appease the ghost viruses. Therefore, the most we can do is entertain the hope that such a method does exist and continue to pursue its discovery," she finished, stopping to lean against the next armor like a good buddy and throw her arm around its shoulder. "Do you agree, old chap?" she asked, turning her head to face its helmet.

"I don't believe he'll be able to say anything one way or the other, but if it makes you feel any better, I think that reasoning is quite sound," Jocelyn agreed.

"Well, Jocelyn, it would be quite a shock to me to hear you disagree with any line of reasoning, no matter who proposed it" Sleuth replied, opening up the visor of her new buddy's helmet to see if anything was inside. She raised her magnifying glass and worked to angle it so that a beam of light would shine from the lens into the opening, allowing her to see better inside the darkness. "Perhaps the answer we seek... lies deep within this iron shell," the detective murmured. "Hello, Sirrah! If you can hear me, pray tell, what is it that you are looking for before you move on to the great net beyond?" she asked, although she had no faith that such a place existed... but then, virus ghosts existed, so who could say? "Do you have a story that needs telling? Do you need a shoulder to cry upon? Must I nestle you into my bosom and sing a sweet lullaby, whilst rocking you slowly to sleep?"

While she was thus entertained, she made a motion with two fingers to indicate that she'd like Mr. Prog to check the next armor on the other side.

((Check next armor on the left))

Within the suit of armor she checked, there was nothing. Lots and lots of nothing. Nothing as far as the eye could see. The Mr. Prog looked all around the motioned at armor, but appeared to have exactly as much luck as Sleuth. "I'm pretty sure that it'd be physically impossible for this armor to have more nothing than it did." He looked at the far end of the room, and gulped. "Well, I think we have a pretty good idea where that virus is hiding..."

FearScope: 20/100
- It still exists, and it's still slowly going down
Sleuth, still having a bit of the jitters from earlier, wasn't exactly jumping with anticipation to reveal the obvious ghost behind the upcoming armors. "You know, I doubt the ghosty plans to be any more forthcoming with information than the previous ones. Seeing as I have no formal training as a communicator with spirits, perhaps we should skip this one and head to greener pastures?" she suggested, finally backing off her search. Sure, she'd been talking big a moment ago about searching everything for clues, but so what? Mr. Prog wouldn't judge and she expected Jocelyn would care even less. "We should redouble our efforts on learning their motivations... and we are more likely to find further clues upstairs. Let us make haste!"

And so Sleuth withdrew, heading for the staircase to the upstairs portion. "Say, Mr. Prog, can you tell me if your master had any enemies? Say, someone who would place a curse upon his home? Or... would viruses have any reason to hold a grudge against him? Did he venture out of the house much to hunt them... or perhaps perform experiments upon them, as those rumored to have been the instigating factor for many catastrophic accidents and unfortunate occurrences throughout the net?" Sleuth asked. At this point, she was beginning to think the most worthwhile clues might lay within Mr. Prog's recollections, rather than scattered about the mansion.

((Head out of room, then upstairs))
"Sounds like a plan to me." As expected, the Mr. Prog made no mention of Sleuth's sudden change of heart; he actually seemed a little relieved that they wouldn't be revealing this room's ghost. He led the detective out to the foyer, and the two began to climb the staircase. "Hmm...enemies? No, he didn't have any of those. He did have a rival, but he was deleted while virus busting shortly after the mansion's previous owner passed away. They were friendly rivals, anyway. Neither had any sort of grudge against the other. And viruses...he wasn't all that much of a fighter. He preferred reading about them to actually fighting them."

With that, they reached the second floor. There wasn't really much there, just a bunch of doors. Nothing that could be searched, even if Sleuth wanted to. "Here's the second floor. The doors in front take you to the main hallway of the floor. The far right door leads to the billiards room. The far left room takes you to the observatory. ...Well, I say it's an observatory, but he never really used it. He just felt that any good mansion should have an observatory room. Really, I started using it to store some cleaning supplies, and he never said anything about it."

Now, the all-important question. Where would the second floor's hunt begin?



FearScope: 18/100
- Sloooooooowly going down
"Deleted while virus busting? Sounds like this rival of his was either a victim of some particularly nasty viruses or some particularly poor planning," Sleuth reasoned, listening with interest to Mr. Prog as the two head upstairs. "But it sounds like your master had very little to do with viruses, so I doubt this haunting is actually an event of a personal nature. Then again, I'm not entirely certain if viruses actually hold grudges. All of this is speculatory."

The detective had a few options as she came to the head of the staircase. The observatory struck her as almost too good to be true; after all, the unused room in the mansion that no one tends to visit would be the most obvious place to hide something for a long period of time. "But if Mr. Prog is using it to store his cleaning supplies, then actually, it may be one of the most used rooms in the mansion, rather than the least," she reasoned, slightly gloomy that such an otherwise intriguing room was being used for such a mundane purpose. "Let's start with the observatory, Mr. Prog. I trust you're keeping the storage tidy, so it shan't be too difficult to search the area... After all, a messy storage area for cleaning supplies would be somewhat counter-intuitive to the purpose of owning said cleaning supplies," she ventured. "Of course, there probably isn't much to see. I imagine you use this room rather regularly."

As the two made her way, she continued to gather information about the former owner, assuming there was nothing shocking inside the room that would cut off her speech. "How did your master make his fortune?" she asked idly. "I assume he had some fortune, after all, if he was a wine aficionado and maintained an observatory for purposes unrelated to work."

((Heading to observatory))
"Fortune? Not really. I mean, you don't really need money to put up a mansion and stuff on the Net, just time and patience. And he had plenty of both."

With that question answered, Sleuth entered the observatory. As she suspected, it was pretty orderly. The entire wall in front of her was covered with a massive shelf, all containing neatly sorted cleaning supplies. Apparently, however, it still wasn't enough, as some extras laid on the floor near it (albeit well sorted). Between all of that was a telescope, as if to remind anyone that entered that this was indeed an observatory. To that end, the outer wall of this room was less a wall, and more a giant window that gave one a great view of the sky. Too bad that it was cloudy and thundering. Or at least, it should've been thundering. Come to think of it, there hadn't been a whole lot of thundering lately...

"Hmm, you know, there hasn't been much thundering for a while. I wonder if the thundering program's on the fritz again? I think I'll let it be, though...it's kinda nice to get some peace and quiet." Well, that answered that.

To the pair's right, a trio of large statues, shaped like NormalNavis, striking a pose with their hands on their hips. "Oh, those statues are of the previous master. He thought it'd be funny to put up some giant statues of himself around the mansion, but I never saw the joke, myself."

Anyway, that was everything in the room. "...Oh! You'll be glad to know that I happen to remember precisely where the ghost is in this room. It's a...um, I forget the name, but it has one eye, and a sword for an arm. It always hangs around the telescope, and if I sneak in without it noticing me, it's always trying to slash it apart. I guess it's upset it can't use it, or something. So, if we keep away from the telescope, there's nothing to fear."

Well, that was a nice change. But the question remained...where to look first?



FearScope: 17/100
- Still sloooooooowly going down
"Pardon me for saying so, but owning a mansion without any wealth feels like putting on airs," Sleuth rebutted, offended that such elementary logic had failed her in this situation. "It's just misleading, like hanging up a fake diploma..." Her offense didn't last long, because there was little use berating the style of a deleted navi. Besides that, she found at least a few subjects of interest upon entering the next room, so her mind returned to the hunt. "Nice, this room. Very atmospheric. It's almost a shame that we're not investigating a murder... this would be quite a splendid setting for a murder mystery!"

Several interesting thoughts occurred to her. To be Sleuth was to doubt your reliable witness, so she allowed herself a wry smile as she contemplated how well suited her seemingly reliable guide was to hiding mysteries. He explained the thunder before she asked about it, which she was going to, and the telescope he'd mentioned was now the perfect place for him to hide anything he didn't want her to find. She dropped her fantasies and sighed, admitting two more powerful suspicions to herself: that Mr. Progs don't tend to lend themselves to foul play and misdirection, and also, that investigating the telescope would just upset the both of them.

The statues interested her; their curious placement, along with their display of an unusual presence of ego in a NormalNavi, were both intriguing. She was glad that Mr. Prog had informed her they were the likeness of the old master before she started molesting them. If she treated these like she did the armors a moment ago, things would end up pretty awkward. "Well, old chum, I'm just fascinated by these sculptures. I'll observe them more closely while you check your cleaning supplies for anything that seems useful or perhaps unfamiliar."

Feeling relatively unconcerned, as she'd been assured that the ghost say squarely in the telescope, she checked out the row of statues, starting with the closest. "Ha... you'd think they could at least make different poses, or something. Anything to give me some insight into his personality..."

"Maybe he was so fond of that pose that he made it all the time?" Jocelyn asked. Her voice could have startled Sleuth, if it wasn't so soft, pleasant, and apt to say stupid things rather than alarming ones.

The detective scoffed. "More likely the sculptor's preference than the master's. An artist tends to pose his subjects," Sleuth explained, while walking around the statues and examining them closely with her glass. Hidden compartments in the limbs of statues were certainly a constant in the mystery world.

"Putting on airs?! What, just because he wasn't rolling in dough means he can't have nice stuff?! How rude!!" Somehow, the sight of a Mr. Prog with angry eyes, but the eternal smile, was almost as creepy as viruses out of nowhehre. Almost. "...Sorry. But, I do think you should be more considerate. It's not like I go to your operator's house and complain about whether it matches up with their social status, you know?...Anyway, I'll check my stuff." And so he did.

However, the program did appear to notice Sleuth's conversation. "Actually, that was all the former master. He loved to strike that pose for...pretty much any reason he could come up with to do it, really. ...Huh. I forgot about that. The other day, I found some cash on the floor. It was strange, since it shouldn't have been there, but it was. Anyway, if you want it, it's yours."

At about the same time, Sleuth noticed an odd compartment in the middle statue's...lower center. If she molested it like the armor, it'd open, and something would come out...

"Did you find anything?" The Mr. Prog turned to look at the detective Navi, naturally at the instant she found the SubChip. "...I suppose you did. I don't think I want the particulars, though..."

Sleuth GET: 500z, Untrap SubChip

FearScope: 2/100
- Grabbing statue crotches is very relaxing, apparently
"I won't apologize for society's perceptions, because they are unassailable and cannot be altered by individual preferences. I will, however, apologize for my own habit of speaking unflattering hunches and conclusions out loud," Sleuth responded, seeing that she'd upset Mr. Prog. She didn't sound particularly apologetic, though. This wasn't the first time she'd been called out for an insulting assumption and it wouldn't be the last, nor the most grievous. "Well, tact is not one of my strong suits, but in my line of work, it is a liability rather than an asset," she further elaborated. It was easy to see why the police preferred not to have to work with her.

Sleuth could write essays on why she was such a jackass sometimes, but few would want to read them, and thus, she dropped the subject. She herself was alarmed, however, to hear that another of Jocelyn's wild guesses had been correct. "Well perhaps I'll give up the detective business and go be a mall cop! Such intuition you have," Sleuth joked. "Your master was really quite flamboyant in his life, wasn't he?"

"I'm sure Rodney would be happy to have you on the mall's net security squad," Jocelyn added, seeming to agree that maybe Sleuth ought to embrace her profession as well. "You'd have to wear a uniform though."

"I'm sure he'd be happy too, if the skirt length is about the same," Sleuth nodded, smiling in amusement. "But unless those uniforms come in a dashing brown color, I'd rather stick to my current gig." With that entertaining diversion out of the way, she focused on the statues. "More cash? Well, I won't say no to a little extra compensation for services rendered. We are putting in a full day's work here, I'd say," she accepted, distracted again by the always pleasant topic of free money. "Now, let's give you my undivided attention..."

As she inspected the statue, she noticed a hole... in the groin. The detective beamed from ear to ear, overcome with mirth. "What a curious thing! Did you say he designed these himself?" she laughed, not specifying what she was talking about. "Alright, if that's the way you want to play... some guys just like girls to put their fingers inside, and there's no shame in that. I'm open minded." Cooing thusly, she dug out a subchip. "That would be quite handy, if a ghost counted as a trap," she remarked, but accepted the free subchip regardless.

"This has been profitable, but not necessarily revelatory. Let's finish inspecting the shelves and then be on our way," Sleuth suggested. She moved over to the miscellaneous grouping to see what she could find.
"I'm not sure flamboyant's the word I'd use, myself..." However, the Mr. Prog didn't volunteer any substitute words, nor did he say anything else about the hidden compartment in the statue. "Right, I'll check the rest of the shelves."

And so program and Navi investigated. Sleuth checked out the random stuff...but all she could find was cleaning supplies. Unless she really wanted some of that, there wasn't anything for the taking.

"Nope, just the usual here." Looked like Mr. Prog was done as well, and also found nothing. Exciting times.

FearScope: 0/100
- Disappointment is also very relaxing, apparently
"Fah! Boring," Sleuth groaned, finding nothing of any worth. She rested her gloved hands on the desk for a moment as she composed her thoughts, then turned her head to stare at Mr. Prog. He was almost certainly not lying about the ghost being in the telescope. After all, she was pretty sure that Mr. Progs couldn't (or wouldn't) lie, and he hadn't definitively shown any such behavior so far. At the same time... "I need to inspect that telescope one way or the other. I'll do it, even if it means running face first into a ghost trap!" she announced. It didn't help that the ghost in question was the kind that would scare you whether it was in its physical form or ghost form. It wasn't ordinarily the type of virus one could afford to underestimate.

"But Sleuth! It will mean walking face first into a ghost trap, for sure. He's in there, remember?" Jocelyn reminded her navi.

"Yes, yes. But I have to investigate there. For two reasons!" Sleuth exclaimed, holding up two fingers. She curled one inward as she spoke. "One! Because this room surely must hold something of relevance, whether it's a clue or another paper scrap." She curled the other. "Two! Because we have no proof that the ghost won't be hiding in the same place as a clue, besides just the theory that it would be bad mystery setup if it was." She stared down at her hand, extended out her thumb, then moved it back in, to indicate that she'd thought up a third reason. "Three! Because the last position of the telescope may tell us something about the late master, possibly even a purposely planted clue. After all, you can learn a lot about someone from the latest books they've read, their latest calls, or their latest web searches. Seeing the last thing he stared at through this telescope, although he used it infrequently, may be revelatory."

"It may also be pretty," Jocelyn added. "I often used my father's telescope for that reason!"

"I'm sure," the detective agreed. "All the more reason. A fourth reason, if you will." With that, she made her way over to the telescope, smiling in the face of danger. "Come on out, ghosty! I'll face you before I face the celestial bodies!" Once she'd dealt with that, she'd try to utilize the telescope and check on the last heavenly body that the owner of the house had glimpsed... Assuming that this telescope hadn't been knocked out of position by the Prog while he was cleaning at some point.
The Mr. Prog stared blankly, but eventually nodded at Sleuth's new idea. "Okay, if you really want to..." And so, the detective walked up, and...BOOM! A Nightmare popped out, waving its sword arm all intimidatingly. But, there was something odd. It wasn't really scaring her. Or anybody. Knowing it was there kinda killed a lot of what was making the ghosts all that scary. Once it realized no one was screaming or paralyzed with fear, it slumped its shoulders, and vanished from the room.

A closer look at the telescope revealed two things. First, looking through it revealed that it was difficult to see through thick thunderclouds. No wonder it was seldom used. And second, though it was very hard to notice unless you were right at it, there was a piece of paper attached to the underside. Let's see what it said...

...Nothing, actually. There was no text whatsoever. Instead, there were two paint splotches on it. One was green, the other gray. ...They weren't even exotic shades. If you looked up the colors green and gray to see what they looked like, these were the exact shades you'd see.

FearScope: 0/100
- When you know exactly when they're coming, jump scares aren't scary
"BAAAaaaa, er, wait... On second thought, that wasn't too bad. Sorry, reflex," Sleuth chuckled, realizing that she'd just proven once again the age-old knowledge that negative stimuli are considerably less distressing when one introduced in predictable intervals. She bent over and peaked into the telescope, the tails of her coat and cape drooping as she did. "Hm... Ah, yes! Clouds. Informative," she remarked, keeping an amazingly straight face while dishing out sarcasm. She disinterestedly inspected the rest of the seldom-used telescope, but her interest piqued when she managed to find something unexpected. "Ah... AH HA! HWA HA! A CLUE!" she burst into laughter, clapping her gloves together giddily. "An oasis in a desert! Oooo, let's see what it says-"

It didn't say anything at all. Rather, it contained two smudges of color from some unknown source. "It... looks like... green and gray spots. Hm. Almost like tobacco stains, but I doubt your late master used the stuff. It's rare now these days in the world outside and even rare inside, as it's a vice most have learned to avoid," she murmured. She seriously doubted that tobacco had anything to do with this but, well, that was the first thing that came to mind.

"My father told me never to try it. So I never did!" Jocelyn remarked, always the good girl.

"It's good to be obedient, but if you never try anything that your father advises against, you'll never grow into a mature woman such as myself," Sleuth replied, smiling confidently despite her childish outburst a moment ago upon discovering her new clue. "Well, this is a fine kettle of fish. Your master is truly confounding. First he ruined the phonetic pattern, now he's abandoned words altogether! This gives us: Deer. Beam. Teeth. U2U. Very. And now a green and gray smudge. Hm."

"Mr. Prog is green and gray. Well... he's also yellow," Jocelyn pointed out.

Sleuth nodded, then lifted one finger. "Very astute! I was going to point that out myself. You are a little green around the gills, old chum," the detective chuckled. "But until I find yellow or something else that ties back to you, it doesn't give me much to go on. Just be aware that I may frisk you later!" She cackled, wiggling her fingers ominously. "I always get my man!"

"You do seem to be frisking men a lot," Jocelyn agreed. "I kind of want to pet Mr. Prog myself..."

"Come now, I've already offered the chap a hug and he declined. If he doesn't want to be hugged, he certainly doesn't want to be petted," Sleuth scoffed. Although she half imagined he did... but he probably wouldn't say it, being the servant of a noble household. And he probably didn't want it from Sleuth regardless, seeing as the two weren't on great terms. "Let's head out now and away to the billiards parlor. I'm handy at billiards myself, you know! I'd show you, but a ghost might pop out of the ball when it cracks, and that would scare the brown right off of me."

"That's a lot of brown to scare off," her operator pointed out.

Sleuth nodded absently, as she walked on to the billiards room. "Agreed. I wouldn't forgive him for that, either," she commented, still elsewhere with her thoughts. "Could there be another clue inside? I hope you have some juicy tips for me again, my good companion!" the tall woman urged Mr. Prog, as her shoes clap, clapped their way to the next room.
The Mr. Prog took a look at the clue, tilting his head quizzically at Sleuth when she openly wondered what the colors were. "I'm pretty sure that's paint, not tobacco. It's not like the late master used such stuff...he didn't even have a mouth. He wasn't really an artsy type of person, either, though..." Other than that, he remained silent as Navi and operator conversed, even during the parts that mentioned him.

"You want to search the billiards room next? All right, I'll-" Except the detective was already on her way. "Hey, wait for me!"

The billiards room proved to live up to its name, as in the middle of it was a pool table. Nothing was set up on it, though. To Sleuth's right upon entering, there were shelves of pool related items and accessories. Nearest to her were some cue sticks, while things like balls and racks were on the other end. In the corner straight ahead, there was a large wooden table, folded up and tucked away. There were some chairs along the far wall. But by far, the oddest item in the room was a rather large screen TV, sitting on the wall farthest from the entrance.

"Let's see, about this room...it's pretty self-explanatory. The previous master was a bit of a pool buff, and he'd sometimes invite people over to play. The TV there was added not too long before he passed on, to give the room a modern flair. ...Oh, right. The pool table can be lowered into a recess in the floor, and the space can be used to set up that table over there. In case someone was in the mood for cards or something. There's a switch to the left of the TV that does it. Just press it, and no more table."

"The virus ghost, hmm...it's called Handy, I believe. Now, where was it...um...I seem to recall something about playing a game of three-ball, I think?" And he was back to his not quite helpful, not quite helpless self. Oh boy.



FearScope: 0/100
- Fearless in the face of long sticks and balls!
"Not a smoker nor a stroker, hmm?" Sleuth mused, placing one leather-clad finger to her temple. The information didn't help much. If she couldn't even back even bank on the fact that he was rich, then it wasn't at all strange that he didn't share the hobbies of a rich socialite. Probably 99% of navis had never smoked or painted before... even fewer normal navis likely had. A lot of mystery buffs were high on the idea of "eliminate the impossible and what remains is the truth" concept, but she didn't have the patience to strike through every possible hobby the gentleman might have had in order to discern his real personality. All of that to say: she hadn't learned much.

She put aside her quaint irritability, as it wouldn't suit a billiard room, unless said billiard room also featured a bar and a jukebox playing old, weepy country tunes. Thankfully, Mr. Prog shared some more information, which lightened her mood. "That's a fine hobby to have. You can meet a lot of people over games of pool! Then again, usually you meet people who, well, want to meet people, rather than those with a passion for the sport. It's sort of amusing, how that works. Birds of a feather and all that rot," Sleuth chuckled. "Though, your master was clearly the genuine article, having such a well-outfitted room in which to indulge. To be honest, I respect a master of billiards more than I might a master astronomer!"

"A master of both would be the most respectable," Jocelyn added, always ready with a nugget of insight.

"Perhaps. But they say in the good book that a man cannot be two masters! Or something like that," Sleuth joked, smiling at her own foolishness. "If you remember a game of three ball, I'd say it's safe to assume the ghost is either in the equipment or in the pool table itself. "But let's be thorough and give the room a good once over. Since, forgive my saying so, reaching the television is better suited to one of my stature, I'll start looking for clues there and you can check out the racks."

One might suspect that Sleuth was thinking up a dirty joke involving balls, racks, or the like, but she wasn't. Presently, her mind was occupied with the mystery so far. "Those circles... each was a color... could it be related to billiard balls? But I doubt the colors match up... and U2U... could the "Us" represent pockets on a table? Hmmmm..." she muttered to herself while searching the wall-mounted TV set. Once she found the method to do so, she'd turn it on, so as to get a glimpse of what he (or his guests) cared to watch.
A button on the side revealed Sleuth's initial quarry, and she turned on the TV. "Coming up next on the Netopian Sports Programming Network, the beautiful cybergame! A FootBomb friendly between the reigning Netopia champions, and Creamland! Can Creamland's natural endurance withstand the fancy bomb technique that Netopia is famous for? Stay tuned on NSPN to find out!" Looked like whoever watched this last enjoyed sports. And as for the TV...hmm? There was something behind it strongly resembling a slip of paper...could it be the clue?

"Father of a baby (50%)"

...Yep, looked like a clue.

The Mr. Prog, meanwhile (slightly reluctantly) started searching the racks. He seemed to be going at it pretty slowly, probably because the Navi suspected it. In the time it took to search the TV, he finished up the half of his assignment closer to the door. "Nothing over on this side. Just a bunch of pool stuff. Hmm? Looks like you found something." He happily floated over and checked the clue out. "...Is it just me, or are these starting to make even less sense? What's 50% supposed to mean?"

FearScope: 0/100
- Running out of silly comments to put here...
"So the master was a purveyor of the fine art of Footie, I see! Quite admirable. I'm certain the Netopians will get what's coming to them, which ought to be a proper thrashing," Sleuth chuckled, only half paying attention. "Ho there! What's this, then?" the detective exclaimed, finding another curious clue hidden out of sight. "... Hmm... I It reads: 'father of a baby, fifty percent.' What the devil dies that mean? Care to input, my dear Jocelyn?"

"A father is fifty percent of the process, I believe. It seems like a pretty obvious one," the operator responded, smiling gently as if to console her navi on her failure to interpret such an obvious clue. "I'm sure there's another piece of paper that says mother somewhere."

"Don't patronize me, you silly girl! I highly doubt the number refers to the status of the father as fifty percent of the insemination process. There are many possibilities... for instance, the clue may be saying "fifty percent of the word referring to the father of a baby, such as 'sire,' giving us two letters of that word. It could also refer to uncertain lineage, such as the situation in which a woman has copulated with multiple persons and the child's true father is called into question. They can test for that sort of thing, though. It would also never really be a straight fifty-fifty chance. Again, the possibilities are too many and the guidance too little too properly utilize this clue. We'll have to keep searching." Finished with her musings, Sleuth turned her attention back to Mr. Prog. "Came up dry, did you? Oh, so you're interested in the clue as well? I must say, it's hard to glean anything from it. But personally, these clues are so little associated with one another that I think we are ultimately solving a word puzzle. It could be mostly phonetic, it's hard to tell. But I imagine the 'fifty percent' refers to half of the contents of a word or phrase, rather than a probability. I've yet to come up with anything useful, but I'll let you know once I do."

She turned away from the tv and headed over to the pool table. She had a strong urge to rest her caboose on its surface, but that would have been terrible manners and an offense of basic decency... she'd ultimately either scratch the varnish or wear on the legs. Loath as she was to admit, she wasn't the lightest woman on the net. Instead, she gave the top a one over with her eyes, then stuck her gloves fingers into the ball receptacles to see if there were any other golden clues. As a final thought, she pressed her body to the floor, lay her cane down, and searched beneath the table. "Hmmmm... Be sure not to push that button while I'm down here, okay, chum? Tend to more of those equipment racks, if you will."
Sleuth's FootBomb comments were enough to make to Mr. Prog stop his search and turn toward her. "You do realize you're in Netopia right now, right? Pretty sure if you say that to the wrong person, it's grounds for getting lynched..."

"The rest of the racks? Got it." As the program continued his search, Sleuth got around to searching the pool table. Nothing visible on it. The pockets didn't have anything, either. And underneath...wait, what was this? A small hatch. Let's open it, and...

BOOM!

The sound of an explosion echoed through the room.

"I-I-I f-f-f-found the v-v-virus..." Even though he was smiling, the Prog was visibly shaking from watching a not-TimeBomb detonate. "I t-think it p-p-put its b-bomb in front o-of t-the 3-b-b-ball..."

Bonk!

Before Sleuth could get up, though, something fell out of the hatch on the table's underbelly. It wasn't a clue, but it was a little golden. Well, in that it was yellow. That'd take some of the sting of a fake bomb going off.

Sleuth GET: Thunder1 BattleChip data

FearScope: 8/100
- Balls counter the effects of fear, it seems
"Oh come now, all that's here are you, I, my operator, a handful of ghosts, and possibly the vanished Ms. Mata! I highly doubt any of you would object if I read out the full, comprehensive list that any good Creamlandian Footie fan knows to be true, detailing the manifold advantages of our native team to the unorganized Netopians," Sleuth chuckled, dismissing Mr. Prog's worries. She let out a slight grunt as she struggled to maneuver with her considerable breasts pressed beneath her on the floor. "Well, I've nothing to report- wait, what's this?" The hidden compartment she'd found was interesting, but an explosion certainly wasn't the kind of feedback she'd been expecting when she opened it. As it turned out, that explosion wasn't from her find, but her ally's. She nearly hit her head on the table coming back up at the sound of the explosion. Once she'd confirmed Mr. Prog was only shaken, not stirred, she realized there had been another sound and went back under the table for it. "Well, we got our ghostie, a clue, and additionally, a little gift from your master to myself, so I'd say we made out like kings. Slightly nerve-wracked kings, but kings nonetheless."

"I never knew those were things that kings collected," Jocelyn remarked in wonder.

As usual, Sleuth dismissed the remark; she dusted herself off as she rose from the floor, but there wouldn't be much need, seeing as Mr. Prog kept most of the frequently-used parts of the mansion pretty immaculate. "Honestly, we've probably gotten all this room has to offer... But, just out of curiosity, on our way out... Would you mind pressing that button, so that I can see the room in its alternate state? I'm just curious. I've never seen such a contraption in action before," the detective requested to her green, smiley companion. "If it's nothing, we'll head out and to the next room." She backed up a safe distance from the table, just in case.