Armor Collection Homepage

Armor's homepage is constructed, as said, to be a museum housing her collection of navi-wear pieces, some historic, some conceptual, others simply too amazing to let go unnoticed. The museum is constantly populated by all manor of guests. In the past, the exhibits were all open-air, so that viewers could inspect the armors as closely as they liked. A recent spree of thefts prompted her to put top-notch security over each exhibit (and the success of her museum led to donations, which allowed her to afford the security).

The only reasonable way to enter is clearly through the front gate. Less reasonably, one could approach through the drawing-room window in the back, which is conspicuously left open. It'd be a good way to avoid the crowds, but also a good way to arouse suspicion if anyone was watching.

PhotoMan beamed down onto this network, then proceeded to stand there like a gargoyle, remaining entirely still as he waited for SplashLady.

As it turned out, PhotoMan didn't have long to wait, as shortly afterward a single sea green beam of light rained down in front of him, revealing his partner in non-crime. She looked the museum's outsides over, though she didn't really give any hints as to what it was making her think. "Well, here we are...I'll admit I'm a little nervous about this, but other than that, I'm all set! I guess our first order of business is to find Armor. Any ideas where she'll be, PhotoMan?"

"There is no need for nervousness, my friend. We are here on legitimate business," PhotoMan reassured her, turning his head to regard her fondly, albeit with his usual passive frown. "I am certain she'll be promoting one of her displays, unless we have caught her at an awkward time. I believe that's what she spends most of her work day doing."

PhotoMan started into a steady, unconcerned walk, keeping both hands crossed behind his back as he observed each exhibit. "She's become well known for these features; some of these armors are ornamental, but others actually possess powers of their own. I'm surprised that she doesn't desire tighter security, to be honest," he commented, his face staring unblinkingly into each case as they passed by.

Finally, the two encountered the woman they were looking for. Because she was dressed from head-to-toe in golden, old Netopian armor, it was hard to make out whether or not her figure was why PhotoMan cared about taking the shots. Her hair was dark brown, visible only from a few strands hanging from the corners of her helmet, which framed her face. Her eyes were also brown, with a war-like sharpness. Her mannerisms didn't seem violent, though; she was occupied explaining a shield exhibit to a few interested navis.

Behind the navis stood a gigantic man in armor, his neck elongated with a bearded, green dragon's head at the end. He seemed rather jovial and personable, but it was hard not to be intimidated.

"Shields are still commonly used by navis such as yourselves in combat, as they provide a sturdy, reliable way to shrug off powerful attacks. Not just anything can or should be used as a shield. These models are reinforced to stand large numbers of hits."

The big dragon nodded, although SplashLady could make out him chuckling slightly.

Armor met his gaze with her own eagle-like eyes, then smiled. "Perhaps I've been discussing concepts too basic for your tastes. Did you navis have something more specific you'd like to know?"

The navis shook their heads, having apparently only a casual interest in shields. With that, she took her leave, ensuring them that they were free to ask her any additional questions they might come up with. Her armor did not clank wildly, due to the fit, but did produce metallic rubbing noises as she made her way down the hallway towards them. The dragon-man followed her, saying nothing, but rubbing his beard slowly.

Speaking with them was not actually her intention, but PhotoMan wasn't going to let the opportunity pass up. "Let's ask her, SplashLady," PhotoMan spoke up confidently. SplashLady knew a lot about him, though, and there was a pretty good chance he was going to get off on the wrong foot right at the start. On the other hand, it'd be pretty embarrassing for SplashLady to have to give her their request personally.

"Hello, newcomers! This is your first visit; I can tell by your faces," the dragon greeted them, speaking in a booming voice. "Is there anything that I, FeilongMan, can help you locate?" It seemed like he was just trying to be helpful, but they'd need to quickly shift the conversation over to Armor if they were going to get her to agree. Furthermore, with him around, they were already losing the group psychology advantage that PhotoMan had discussed.

"Ha, there's no reason for you to act as my steward, FeilongMan. I'm capable of guiding my own guests. Welcome; my name is Armor. Is there something that one of us can do for you?"

So, that was Armor...clearly, PhotoMan saw her in different armor, or else this entire branch of the mission was going to be awfully silly. Still, SplashLady trusted his judgment enough to not ask questions. After all, he had to have seen something to want to get pictures of her, right?

That said, she wasn't going to let him take the lead. At the very least, she could butter the target up a bit first. "Actually, there's something I've been wondering about a certain defensive chip, and I bet you, of all Navis, would know the answer. See, my basic systems are primarily offense based, so I really like the IronShield chip. I use it in most of my battles as a major form of defense. But, I've noticed that despite the name, the shield doesn't conduct electricity at all. Don't get me wrong, as a water based Navi, I appreciate that a lot. But it's still odd...why is that? Is it not actually metallic or something?"

"IronShield, a wonderful chip indeed. Many navis would forget about the handy, portable nature of shields entirely if it wasn't for the utility of this chip. As for why it doesn't tend to conduct electricity; that's an excellent question, isn't it? With all of the work that operators have put in to making the net mimic the outside world, it's surprising that metal doesn't usually conduct properly. Still, we armor-wearers should be thankful," Armor responded at length.

"I second that. It'd be especially bad for those of us who fly..." FeilongMan mused, stroking his beard and closing both gleaming eyes.

"The properties of the world that we live in are interesting, as many of the matters regarding how we interact with the world are so much more loosely observed and documented, compared to the real world," the curator continued. "I've even heard of a curious instance in which a supposedly wooden chip was used as an electrical conductor. I'm sorry that I don't have the means to answer your question as fully as you may have wanted."

PhotoMan remained quiet. He seemed to sense that SplashLady didn't trust him to start off and thus had chosen such an unrelated topic. If he was offended, he didn't show it, but he wasn't doing a terribly good job of seeming engaged either.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know?" Armor asked. "Or perhaps you'd like to see some of the shields on display?"

"That's too bad. Oh well, I still learned something! At any rate, that's all I wanted to know. Though, now that I think about it, most of my defenses are shields. IronShield, Guard, CurseShield...I never stopped and realized just how handy they are. Without them, I'd probably get smacked around like a pinata in most of my battles!" SplashLady proceeded to glance over at her employer, knowing that at some point she needed to turn him loose. Might as well open the floodgates now. "All right PhotoMan, you're up!" Of course, if he did anything that made the potential photo model or her companion particularly upset, she'd give him a nice bump with her hip. Nothing too obvious, but enough to get his attention...after all, if she was opening the floodgates, she sure as heck needed to keep her finger on the close button...

"It's good to appreciate your defenses. Now, what can I help you with?" she asked, turning to meet PhotoMan's stare. Of course, PhotoMan didn't share nearly the mask of enthusiasm that SplashLady had managed to put on.

"Hello, Armor. Respectfully, I'm here to ask if you'd be willing to participate in a photoshoot for a gravure publication I'm putting together," he started bluntly, shaking her hand as he spoke.

Armor, like SplashLady, didn't seem to understand what that meant right off hand. FeilongMan, on the other hand, looked like he was breaking out into sweat. It was hard to tell whether he was nervous, anxious, or aggravated based on his elevated dragon-head.

"Forgive me, I'll explain. Gravure photography involves photographing famous women wearing..." he began in a stoic voice. SplashLady had one last window of opportunity to jump in.

Bump!

Just as planned, a firm yet subtle back (end) attack signaled for PhotoMan to stop right where he was, and let her take over. "Let's just keep things simple. Basically, we'd like to take pictures of you wearing certain armor from your collection. I'm sure PhotoMan can point out exactly which ones would work best for us." The mermaid Navi looked nervously at the dragon headed Navi's nervousness, though more so because he was just plain scary than the odds of him blurting out the true plan. Still, she didn't actually lie, just glossed over a certain detail or two. So there wasn't anything to be afraid of, right?...Right?

PhotoMan shut up instantly as soon as he felt SplashLady's hip tap him. He stared down to figure out what it was, but inevitably got distracted, staring a good bit longer than he ought to. Finally, he reclaimed his senses and joined back in on the conversation. "That's the gist of it, yes."

"You two want to photograph some of my armor, using me as a model?" Armor asked, smiling as if the idea seemed sort of ridiculous to her. "Well, certainly... The best navi armors often provide flexible fit, which would allow me to wear any with relative ease. Are you certain that you want me as your model, though? Just because I always wear armor doesn't mean I'll be the most photogenic... That is, wouldn't you rather have your partner here do it?"

PhotoMan paused, taking another look at SplashLady. He kept his stoic frown, but the whirring noise from his head made it obvious that he was thinking much harder than he ought to be about taking her up on that offer.

"No, ahem, I think this is a good opportunity for you," the big dragon spoke up, stroking his beard as he often did. "Assuming their intentions are as they say and that you are not involved in distribution, this will provide an excellent change for you to advertise your collection and garner further funding. I assume she'd be rewarded some sort of cut?"

"But of course. A cut of the sales of articles containing those photographs would go back to her, and we would, of course, cover the expenses for distribution," PhotoMan continued, brightening up as he sensed that he had an ally in FeilongMan.

A twinkle came into the dragon's eye, which suddenly allowed SplashLady to see that he was likely the most enthused one here about the whole ordeal. "Splendid! Gravure photography, hm? For something like that, I know the perfect exhibition for you all to look at. Follow me, it's near the back of the museum..." he instructed them, crossing his muscular, armored arms behind his back as he walked.

"Hm? Back there, we have the armor smith's tools exhibit... The pauldrons quarter... The... Oh..."

Armor seemed to catch on to where all of this was going as she saw the exhibit FeilongMan had stopped in front of: "Impractical Pieces for Eccentric Collectors." "Ah... You know, I recently donated a set from this collection to one of my old friends..." she remarked, having a hard time holding a smile. "So the selection is a little limited... Perhaps we'd be best off looking at one of the other displays?" the curator recommended.

"Don't be silly, my friend! I know of a spectacular piece, perfect for this occasion. Please, PhotoMan and compatriot; if you'll look to the right here..." FeilongMan continued enthusastically, hurrying PhotoMan and SplashLady over there. "You see? Isn't it splendid? I think it would be terrific for the purpose..."

Unfortunately, it was a little hard to tell which they were supposed to be looking at. Three armors were lined up in their field of vision: the first, Netopian in design and slightly more conservative than the others, featuring a gold bikini shape with a silver eagle adornment on the breastplate. A matching sword and shield were included with it, along with pauldrons, gloves, and boots.

The second looked far less practical; it was Electopian in style, composed of less pristine, copper-colored metal in a very skimpy bikini, with a red cloth hanging over the front and back of the bottom. The cloth featured a print of a green dragon.

The final was the archetypical "chainmail bikini," somehow even less practical than the others. As far as SplashLady could tell, it consisted of only tight chainmesh, made into the smallest bikini SplashLady could remember seeing since she'd had the option to wear that black one piece at the beach. Maybe smaller. There wasn't even any room for adornments because it barely seemed like armor.

"I can tell you quite a bit about each of these armors... Each is fantastic in its own way. But possibly not for a photograph," Armor spoke up, looking surprisingly girlish and embarrassed in spite of her features. "We really ought to pick something that better captures the spirit of the museum as a whole, don't you think? I don't want people getting the wrong impression about it..."

"Believe me when I say that your purposes and this photographer's actually align! What agency did you say you were from?"

"The Showbizz Foundation."

"You see? I believe they're fairly reputable and well known. This can only be good for business! And also, as one good friend to another, I must say that you're actually quite suited to the work."

"Alright, you don't need to talk me into it," Armor laughed, trying to keep her professional face on. "So, just tell me what you need me equipped in, and I'll unlock the case, then go back into my office to get dressed. When I'm done, I'll call the three of you in." She'd turned to SplashLady, apparently intending that SplashLady instruct her which armor to grab.

SplashLady proceeded to take a back seat in the conversation again, though she responded to the idea of her posing in the armor by vigorously shaking her head at PhotoMan. No no no no. That was NOT happening. FeilongMan seemed to be supporting them now, which reinforced her suspicion that Armor was physically attractive underneath that armor. He even offered to show them certain exhibits that would work with what they wanted. Hmm...

..."Impractical Pieces for Eccentric Collectors." Yep, that sounded pretty accurate as she looked at the trio of 'armor'...wait, what? SHE was the one that had to pick? "Hmm...just a sec." Okay, there was only one way she was ever going to reach a decision. Best to not make any movements while doing it, though, or else it'd look like she just picked one at random. Even though she was. Eeny meeny miney moe, catch a Spikey by the toe...aha, she had a winner. "Let's go with...the Electopian one! It's provocative without being overly so!" Oh, please let that be the right one, oh please oh please oh please...

FeilongMan's nostrils flared as he gave an approving nod, crossing both arms across his chest slowly. "Don't you think that it's the best for advertising purposes? I find that nothing beats the craftsmanship of the Electopians," he commented, clearly having bias towards eastern culture.

Armor began to look a little skeptical; it may have occurred to her that FeilongMan might have other things besides her best interests in mind. "You know, I recall you mentioning over lunch recently that I ought to branch out and wear Electopian armors. You didn't call these photographers here to arrange this situation, did you?" she asked, tapping her foot up and down impatiently.

"Nothing of the sort! But you must admit, it has a certain edge over the others, doesn't it? The use of delicate curves, the intricate engraving... it easily beats out the rigid, flat edges of Netopian armor," FeilongMan grunted indignantly. As the two began to argue back and forth, it became apparent to SplashLady that while her decision pleased FeilongMan, she'd accidentally sparked an old rivalry between the two that she'd need to calm down.

Even while fetching the armor from its case, the curator continued not only to debate the reasoning behind the photo shoot, but also to sing the praises of Netopian armor. "Netopian armor is reverent in a way that Electopian armor-crafters could never duplicate! The artistic curvature you speak of had no place in their society, where armor was intended to intimidate!" she barked in a loud, irritable response.

"Are you saying that curvaceous things cannot be intimidating?" he asked, his neck moving ominously like a serpent's body.

"They are not suited to be!"

"... But you yourself are quite curvaceous, I understand," PhotoMan interjected in a monotone voice.

"I-It's not really the same for people... That doesn't have anything to do with this," Armor muttered in response, reddening at the face a bit. It seemed that as someone interested in war, hard concepts, and functionality, she was rather vulnerable to comments about her womanhood.

"I feel like perhaps we should take a moment to discuss the venue," PhotoMan continued, trying to keep his momentum. His eyes shifted to SplashLady as he slowed his roll; he seemed to be looking for her to take over again.

"Yeah...before we continue, I just want to make something clear. I wasn't going to say this, but if we're going to go into a huge argument over it, I kinda...just picked the armor at random. I think they'd all work well for these pictures." Okay, hope that cleared the air somewhat. "That said, I think the Electopian armor works well here, for the simple reason that it shows that you have not just Netopian armor, but a diverse collection from around the world. That'll attract some people that might not otherwise pay attention. And I say this as a native Netopian, so I'm not being biased when I say that. By that logic, I think we should take the pictures where you keep the Electopian armor. That way you won't seem horribly out of place."

...Right, the extra conditons. What was Armor's condition? ...Ah, right. "Oh, I just got an idea? What if we got some people to gather around you, like you're part of the exhibit? Then it'll look like 'hey, come check us out and see what all the fuss is about!' Since by yourself, it'd look kinda...lonely, I guess is the word."

FeilongMan's face drooped somewhat from SplashLady's explanation, while Armor's brightened. "Picking at random? That's hardly a strategy for success. Thinking like that will only get you in trouble,"[color=green][/color] he murmured, obviously just moody at the realization that SplashLady didn't care for Electopian armor.

"You're right; this is an excellent chance to reel in a multicultural base,"[color=#806517][/color] Armor agreed. When she heard the extra conditions, however, her face grew red again. "O-Oh, yes, I suppose that would be appropriate for a publicity photo. It wouldn't sell the exhibit well unless we showed that it was interesting enough to draw folks in. That's a good observation,"[color=#806517][/color] she affirmed, albeit with hesitation.

"Very well... I shall not look a gift horse in the mouth. Allow me to go ready the Electopian armor set. We'll announce a surprise event to bring everyone there," FeilongMan grunted.


"I doubt there's really any need for an announcement..."

"Trust me, if these museum-goers are anything like I am, they'd be upset to miss it," FeilonMan responded with a wink, then headed off with thundering steps towards the exhibit.

PhotoMan turned to SplashLady giving a quiet thumbs up. Apparently, he was pleased with progress thus far.

"Excuse me, if you wouldn't mind, would you come with me into my office? I'd like to confirm that the outfit doesn't look too ridiculous when I put it on," Armor sighed, turning to SplashLady. "The photographer ought to go wait with FeilongMan. I just assume he's the photographer, given his appearance."

"Yes ma'am," PhotoMan answered with a small nod, then walked off in the same direction as the dragon.

"Follow me, please."

------

The inside of Armor's office contained so much armor that it itself appeared to be one of her exhibits; fabulously crafted armors stood mounted all around every wall. Moving behind a stiff, folding curtain in the back, Armor removed her helmet and spoke to SplashLady as she readied herself. "Posing for a centerfold... I have to admit, this isn't anything I ever pictured myself doing for the sake of the collection," she chuckled, waving her mid-length brown hair from side to side as she freed it from its shell.

The sounds of armor being removed- clinks, jingles, thuds, and scrapes- came from behind the curtain as Armor removed her outfit piece by piece. Once that was over, other cloth garments started to come out. "You being with that photographer... Have you ever posed for any photographs? I was wondering if you had any suggestions."

She blushed slightly as she rid herself of the final two items, both surprisingly bold, white lace pieces. "Alright, hand me over the armor, if you would. I believe it's padded inside, so I've already taken the liberty of removing articles that would interfere with the photoshoot..."

...Who would've guessed that she'd be asked for modeling advice? This was definitely new. "Well, I've done it once before. Really, there's not a lot I can say, other than to just smile and try not to be too self-conscious. The more natural you look, the better the picture!"

Okay, the armor. This wasn't quite what she expected when she signed up for a mission..."All right, just a sec!" She grabbed the armor with one hand, and headed for the curtain. She then extended it into the curtain, closing her eyes in the process. "Don't worry, I'm not looking!" Nor did she have any particular interest to...

With her eyes closed, SplashLady couldn't easily tell why her hand was meeting resistance when she thrust it towards the curtain. "Oh, are you not familiar? This type of folding curtain doesn't actually open that way. Just a moment, I'll..." she answered, holding one arm over her breasts as she leaned her upper body out to grab the armor. It wasn't possible to do with just one hand, so she maneuvered her torso such that her breasts would be hidden partially by the screen, then grabbed the pieces, one in each hand. "Thank you."

"I'll try not to be nervous," Armor continued, fastening the armor together with a few small clinks, "but I'm curious; what were the conditions of your photoshoot? Were you promoting some cause as well? Please tell me everything you can about that original shoot, if you don't mind."

...Eh? Why wasn't the curtain giving way? SplashLady opened her eyes for a minute to see what the problem was...only to end up seeing a mostly naked woman. She didn't particularly care for it, though it DID help to explain why PhotoMan wanted pictures of her specifically. "Um...I can't really think of a whole lot about it that'd really help, but...I was hired to help with a beach party the Showbizz Foundation was running. But due to, er, an accident, all of the pictures PhotoMan had taken during the party were destroyed. We managed to come up with a plan, though, and that plan was a photo shoot! I was up on a stage, in front of a pretty big crowd, just doing some dancing in a bikini while PhotoMan got some pictures of the whole thing...that's about all I can remember. It was a little bit of a blur to me, since it was just one thing after another...does that help shed any light on anything?" Granted, she said nothing about the 'accident', and glossed over a detail or two, but...

The metallic noises from behind the curtain had stopped, but Armor wasn't coming out. "I'm not trying to be rude, but allow me to conjecture. The photos were destroyed during a beach party, correct?" Armor restated, staying hidden behind the curtain. "Then there was some very hazy, difficult to remember dancing in a bikini; he took photos of you while you danced. Since then, you've forgotten most of the details. Now, if I'm not mistaken, doesn't this sound much like a drunken Spring Break vacation?"

It was clear that SplashLady was beginning to lose Armor; the truth hadn't been fudged far enough. "No matter what FeilongMan says, there's no way any good can come from associating myself with some Navis Gone Wild producer..." she continued sharply. "A curator has to have more self-respect than that."

SplashLady was on her own. Could there be any way to retract her story or otherwise get things back on track?

"Wha-? No no no no no!!" Um, shoot. It hadn't even occurred to SplashLady that her story could be interpreted in that fashion. "It's not because I got drunk or anything! The only thing I had to drink that entire time was some water that I myself conjured up! The reason it's kinda blurry to me is because the whole thing went by so fast. I barely had time to catch my breath between everything I was asked to do. Trust me, I'm not one to get drunk. Have to set a good example for my underage operator, after all!" Granted, said operator was currently sitting naked in a hot spring, but she could chalk that up to culture differences.

"Was it my finest hour? Heck no. But it definitely worked. I heard lots of people went to check it out afterward! I would've stayed and found out myself, but I was exhausted from running around refilling water tanks. That was actually my primary task, water maintenance. Which basically consisted of me pointing my trident at things and shooting water at anything that needed it...you see, I usually have a trident as my main weapon, but since I don't really need it in a place like this, I just left it at home, so to speak. The whole process was a lot more tiring than it sounds...that beach was bigger than I would've expected! I wouldn't have even worn a bikini, but it was important for me to blend in at least somewhat. Oh, right, I did get to blast a couple of drunk disorderly Navis away, with permission. That was pretty cool. Hmm...other than that, it was mostly uneventful, just running here and there to do my job. Or it would've been, if Showbizz herself hadn't mistaken the pictures for something else, and deleted them. So we had to do the photo shoot so there'd be photos for extra promotional material. Trust me, it was no vacation!" ...You know, she was lying surprisingly little considering how much she was talking about the blowout. Glossing over details, sure, but that was about it. Aside from the 'destruction' of the photos only being figurative instead of literal, anyway.

"Um, one more thing...I know you weren't trying to be rude or anything, but I AM a little hurt that you'd accuse me of...well, those things. I live on the straight and narrow, thank you very much!"

"Forgive me; I didn't mean to insult your honor. I'm sure you and your partner have professional interests in mind. It's just that when I'm asked to wear something like this," Armor responded, stepping out from behind the curtain with her hands spread to each side in order to drive home the point, "I can't help but assume there might be devious intentions in mind."

The cloth on the front seemed almost a necessity now; it was somewhat unbelievable that metal could be crafted so thin and still have room for comfortable padding inside. The armor seemed much smaller everywhere than it had on the rack. Speaking of racks, Armor's top was so open that it seemed as if there was a significant danger of her breasts spilling out. Both her hands and feet were bare, making her look exceptionally Spartan.

The suit showed off her attractive, yet muscular, body in a flattering (if not entirely wholesome) way, allowing SplashLady to see her chiseled abdomen and shapely features. Her skin was surprisingly tan considering she always wore so much armor. The lack of scars and blemishes spoke well to the effectiveness of her gear.

"Do you think I should go out in this? You're sure it will generate good publicity?"

"Honestly, I can't say I blame you...but trust me. If we weren't sincere in this, I never would've signed up for it!" ...Hmm. That armor sure didn't look quite as skimpy earlier. The time to change out had probably passed, however. "Well, when I did mine, I wasn't entirely sure it was a great idea...but sure enough, it worked like a charm! Besides, it could be worse. Imagine if that didn't fit or something! But I think you pull it off great! I'm sure everyone else will agree, too!" The mermaid Navi gave Armor a thumbs up to emphasize her point. "Now let's head off for the Electopian armor area!...Er, you'll need to take the lead for that, what with me having no idea where anything is and all..."