Niax's art dump

allright, this is my first drawing I'm going to submit, and it's of one of my old characters, AniMay...



i'll be uploading more later, but what do you think for now...

I want to improve on it...

Hm, let's see...

This is quite a good start. Your sense of proportion is quite good, although there are some flaws -- the hair looks rather false, the eye looks moderately odd, the hand is a bit small, but those are all things that can be corrected with practice. Like I said, good start. Keep at it.

Kicks ass on anything I can draw. That's why I'm a writer.

Yeah, my challenge to my self is to draw Void and make him look good. Since he pretty much only an outline, i'll have to be perfect with proprtions...

thanks for the comments, I'll see if I can get something else by the weekend...

Lulz, AniMay.

yeah...

thats one of the reasons I stopped rping her...

characters based on puns are usually hard to rp seriously...

Ok, i'm reviving this because I have homework and I need to make a flash cartoon, I was thinking one of those super powerd kid shos that are all the rage, so I came up with script and need some people to see if it's ok. won't tell you the plot, just so you can see if there is good flow. anyways here it is...

Quote ()

Scene 1 - prologue

[black screen]

Tom Cabur[narrating]: Imaginary friends.

[screen fades in to show a kid playing with a stuffed animal]

Tom Cabur[narrating]: They were always there for you when you were a child...

[screens switch between children, some laughing, some crying, but all talking to toys or empty air]

Tom Cabur[narrating]: they'd listen to your problems, be there when you were sad, share your joy, laughter, anguish, and secrets. They'd protect you when you're scared of the boogeyman in the closet, and they seemed like they'd always be with you...

[The scenes jump ahead a few years, the same toys, but have dust on them or are in boxes while the kids, now older, are doing other things.]

Tom Cabur[narrating]: But then things change. You grow up, move on, and forget them...

[Camera stops switching scenes, and focuses on a boy playing on the computer. The camera slowly focuses on an old model covered in dust on a shelf over the computer, still in an action pose from when it was played with years ago]

Tom Cabur[narrating]: But some people say that when you'd play with them, gave them life, and gave them a personality as you played pretend...

[Boy, now off screen cheers at his game, not noticing the action figure's light bulb eyes flash for half a second, then settle back to normal]

Tom Cabur[narrating]: that you give them a life of their own...


[title screen]


Scene 2 — a little back-story

[close up of pen and paper making lines and scribbling, but can't make out what is being drawn]

Tom Cabur[narrating]: My name is Tom Cabur, and I've dreamed of being a comic artist since I was 5 years old.


[Camera switches to completed picture of a robotic super hero, fairly well drawn, as a hand brushes off the eraser bits]

Tom Cabur[narrating]: ...And this is the robotic commando, Auger, one of my favorite things to draw. And I'll admit that he was my friend when I was a kid, if you know what I mean...

[camera switches to view room that is a kitchenette with various kitchen things, a boy in his preteens, and a small TV showing the news]

Tom Cabur[narrating]: But times change, and I got to focus if I want to get my dream job. And speaking of change...

[news broadcast gets louder]: ...Another gang fight seems to have broken out downtown some time last night Phil.  As police are clearing debris from what seemed to be a large gunfight, and it appears that the fight involved some gunfire. There is a report that a young teen was found injured from a stab wound. Nothing else was seen at the site, and paramedics were on sight before the boy lost too much blood. There was a toy robot left found at the scene, making this the fourth child to be found this way in the last week, making police believe there is a person misleading children with toys, then attacking them. This is Ellen, signing off... [different voice starts talking] ...In other new---*

[Tom looks up from his drawing, and sees his mother standing there looking at him]

Mother: You shouldn't be listening to stuff like that, you don't worry about that guy, and the police will take care of him. Now you go off to school, and [scolding] pay attention for once you shouldn't just focus on your art, you need to know more...

Tom Cabur: Yeah sure, [he puts his drawing into his book] see you around. [walks out of room]

Mother: oh Tom.

Scene 3 — A walk to remember...

[A city street comes in as the scene changes; Tom is hurrying down the street, but turns back when he hears a voice call him]

Girl[waving to Tom to slow down]: Tom! Wait up!

[The girl catches up to him and starts walking with him]

Tom: Oh hey Meda, what's up?

Girl(Meda): Did you see the news this morning? Another kid got attacked last night.

Tom: Yeah, I wonder who it was. They didn't say their name.

Meda: I heard a rumor about the attacks, that the kids who get injured are really attached to the toys that are found on the scene. One was even started crying when they took the toy for evidence. But if you think about it, its really weird that if a kid who got a toy from a guy they had never seen, would be so close to the---

[Their conversation is cut off as a geeky boy pushes past, looking at a small electronic toy's screen]

Tom: Gah!

Meda: Ah! Watch where you're going you stupid jerk!

[The geek looks around, but quickly becomes uninterested and continues playing and walking]

Meda: Man what a doofus...

Male voice: What gives you the right to call him a doofus, small fry?

[Tom and Meda freeze and turn to see the school bully standing behind him. Walking up to them, the bully chuckles]

Bully(Male Voice): If I remember, you guys aren't much better than him. In fact...

[bully grabs Tom's book and rips out the drawing of Auger]

Bully[Snorts, than continues]: Yeah, you got one of those stupid drawings again.[Starts waving it in Tom's face] When will you stop doing dumb stuff like this? You're just wasting your time with this jun---*

Meda[yelling angrily]: Why don't you just shut your pie hole! You're just jealous as always, and a stupid coward to be pickin---*

[Bully shoves Meda down, while Tom starts shaking with anger. The bully starts brushing his hands off.]

Bully: Why don't you stay out of this, you're just an annoying brat!

Tom[mutters under his breath off screen]: Leave her alone...

Bully[turning to look at Tom]: What did you say to me?

Tom[pulling back his fist]: Leave her ALONE!

[As Tom punches, his hand starts to glow at the start of the swing, then becomes metallic and segmented fist. After the punch connects, the geeks game starts beeping wildly, causing the geek to turn back and look at the three of them]

[The bully falls to his knees gasping and drops the drawing. Realizing that the bully will be after him, Tom grabs the picture and runs.]

Geek[As Tom passes, he turns to watch him]: Is he another one? Why are so many waking up now...[The geek starts to follow him]

Scene 4 — a true awakening

[The scene changes to show Tom hide in the shadows of an alley. He gives a quick glance to see if the bully was following him when he hears a small voice]

Mysterious voice: Are you one?

Tom[looks around]: What? Who's there?

Mysterious voice: Are you one? I saw what you did. you must be one?

Tom[Walks into alley]: You know what happened back there? Who are you?

[A girl steps into the light, she's holding something small in her hands]

Lilith(Girl(mysterious voice)): My name is Lilith, I'm just like you. [she holds out the item in her hands] See, this is my friend.

[Tom cautiously looks, but steps back when he sees the patched cloth doll]

Tom: How can that be a friend? It's just a toy.

Lilith: Is it as dumb as your drawing being your friend?

[Tom steps back again]

Tom: Wha? How did you know that?

Lilith: We need your help. We need you to help us make them pay...

Tom: [speechless]

Lilith: You know what I'm talking about. You attacked that bully. We need to make them all pay.

Tom: N-no, that was an accident I only did that because he hurt my friend.

[Lilitih's face falls at hearing this]

Lilith: That's too bad, I was hoping you were different than the others.

Tom: Wha- what others.

Lilith: The other children like us, the ones with friends.

[Flashbacks to the news reports talking about the kids who were attacked, and Meda talking about how they were so close to their toys]

Tom: It was YOU! You attacked those kids on the news!

Lilith: Yes, they didn't want to help us either. I'm sorry, but if you're not with us, you're against us...

[Tom freezes in place as Lilith raises her doll]

Lilith: Voodoo, arise...

[Tom stumbles back as a bright light fills the alley, tripping over a spray can Tom falls back as the light fades. Standing at the end of the alley is a tall voodoo doll with several pins sticking through it. Tom face shows terror as it begins to move, pulling a pin out of its side and holding it like a sword.]

Lilith[voice distorted as it comes out of the doll]: I'm sorry, I wish we could have played...

[the doll lunges forward and pulls the pin back to stab Tom]

End of episode one

I need to see what people think of this by saturday night, cause thats how long I can waste on this script if i'm not gonna do it. please comment soon...

edit: sorry WoT...

>_>.......

Somehow reminds me of the recent capture the flag series. Probably because of kids and magic powahz :3.

Yeah, mian guy sees the talking totem pole and gets pushed down a cliff.

Yikes. Niax can draw better than me, too. I was going to throw my latest sketch-doodle up for feedback, but now I think I'll try something a little nicer first.

@Common: yeah, it seems to be a big market now for these shows...

@Kazuhiro: Actually, I can't draw. I have the ability to steal talent. but go head, post some really good stuff...

Maybe about ten of them, I probably won't drain you... ;>.>

besides I'm still digesting that last batch of pro artists, i'll post some charecter designs for the flash/script thats above.

also more about the wall of text, ut so far it's 2 for 2 on the idea, so i'll write up part 2 while waiting for my comptuer to be repaired...

FEAR MY SOON TO BE SOUL UNION WITH KITSUNE!!

WHO KNOWS WHAT RP OPPRITUNITES WILL ARISE FROM SUCH GREAT POWER!

BEHOLD A SMALL SAMPLE!



it was funnier when I was standing around in 40 below weather waiting for the bus, there is a small comic Idea here, but I butchered this joke...

I like the idea of the cross/union's level making void more fierce, and lvl 10 getting Void what he wants. but I thought it twas amusing to see demonic Void turn into a mostly harmless puppy/fox with one tail for level 1, and as a teenage fox with two tails and puberty(complete with cracking voice) for level 2. then at lvl 5, Void becomes a werewolf like thing with 5 tails for the final cross...

also in question to the skull, it hold all of Void's regular siggys in it, forced out by his small size cause the code became to compressed. also on the right is the infamous Imp, who follows Void around telling him to do evil things. The alternate line for him was "at least now we see eye to eye", commenting on Void's shrinkage, but Imp's a bigger dick than that.

becuase I got so much feedback on the last piece of art, I thought i'd post THIS!!!

BEHOLD IMP!!!

You sure YOU didn't smoke that joint first?

you mean it was a bad drawing, or like what?

I dunno, it was a joke. XD

Image dump
Void has been drawn! I passed my test!
not too big sideways, just too tall...

and some group photos...


page breaker

who's the girl in all of them? it's my planned SP, aristal the succubus

but you know, I'm going to try too keep it clean...

really... <.<;;

also, on a side note, I'm now taking 3 commissions(for free) and going to try to draw them. I need the challenge, but don't make it too hard(common, no 100 man fights involving kobo's clones... actuactully, thats a good idea for a matrix parody...). they are first come first serve. after that, I I think I'm doing well enough, I'll start taking commissions for some low price...

probably 50 zenny per char, double the cost for color...

Niax...
I don't like being critical.
D:

But... that girl...
Her face looks like a man's.
D:

I know...

how the f*** do I do a female chin?!?!

or what ever is wrong?!?!

I think the eyes are too big and the eyebrows are too thick.
>_>;;

adds to the list of 20 problems people pointed out in chat...

ok, aside from the apparent trap, are there other major problems with my art?

edit, because I want to know. flames are allowed as long as you say what is wrong with that part. rip her to shreds...

actually, knowing her charecter, she might like that...